Tori Spelling.

That name alone should have spelled doom to this episode.  For those of you who don’t know the names of has been actors, Tori Spelling played on the old show Beverly Hills: 90210.  She is not a particularly good actress, and I feared for the episode because of that.

Fortunately for me, “Hydro” ended up being a decent episode.  On the other hand, Spelling ended up being as bad as I thought she would be.  You can’t have your cake and eat it too I guess.

On that not, let us go ahead and look at the positives and negatives of the episode.  Before we go on, let me warn that it will be drenched in spoilers.  Come on, don’t look at me like that…you know it was funny.

“To be Green Arrow; not to be Green Arrow”

I want to start by talking about one of my favorite parts of the episode.  We know that since the episode “Arrow,” Lois has been trying to find out who the Green Arrow is so she can bring him to Justice.  Tonight, she comes very close to discovering the truth.   

It turns out she has been cavorting with a photographer online, who has pictures of Green Arrow, and is willing to sell them.  Lois agrees to buy the photos from him, and meets him in Metropolis to make the exchange.  This led to a funny scene where she finds out the secret photographer is actually Jimmy Olsen.  Jimmy’s pictures turn out to be mostly shots of Green Arrow’s mid section, with nothing that can give Lois anything definitive to go off of.  One picture does catch her eye though; a shot of Green Arrows arm with a cut near his shoulder.

We later cut to a make out session between the two, where Lois discovers a cut on Oliver that looks strangely like the one from the Green Arrow picture.  This leads her to correctly assume that Oliver Queen is really the Green Arrow.  She employs Jimmy in a plan to set up Green Arrow.

It ends up being quite an entertaining side story to the episode.  She invites Clark over to watch a movie with her and Oliver, and when he shows up, she finds an excuse to leave Oliver’s penthouse.  When outside she calls Oliver on her cell phone and pretends that she is being mugged, but then is surprised when real muggers show up.  Unknown to her though, Clark and Oliver have a plan of their own.  Clark dresses up like the Green Arrow and saves Lois from the muggers, receiving a kiss from her as thanks.  Revealing that she knows the Green Arrow’s identity, Lois calls him Oliver, and promises to keep his secret.  Unfortunately though, at that moment Oliver shows up and apparently disproves her theory.  Clark speeds away, and once out of sight pulls his hood back, revealing to us one of the most priceless faces we have seen Mr. Welling give us.  I’m thinking he enjoyed the kiss 

This was a real fun and humorous side story to the episode.  It showed us the trusting bond that had built between two heroes, and also gave us a foreshadowing of things to come between Lois and Clark.  One of the final scenes to the episode made me laugh out loud also, when Lois admitted that Green Arrow could teach Oliver a thing or two in the kissing department.  Chloe’s bemused smile when she looked at Clark was hilarious 

“The Gossip Columnist” 

Tori Spelling played a gossip columnist at the Daily Planet that went by the name Linda Lake.  While I applaud them for keeping with the initials L.L., it was a horribly corny name.  It made me wonder if this was a throwback to Lori Lemaris, which in the comics was a mermaid Clark dated while in college.

Linda Lake had the ability to turn herself into water, and throughout the episode she used this as a way to gain useful information for her column.  While I didn’t care for the character, the actress, or the motivation; I did enjoy some of the repercussions that came about as a result of her snooping.  First off, she listens in on a conversation between Lana and Chloe.  Lana informs Chloe of Lex’s proposal, and also of the fact that she has unresolved feelings for Clark.

This made me groan.  The last thing I want is for them to start the rollercoaster back up between Clark and Lana.  I was just hoping that we were done with that for good.  Now don’t get me wrong, by the end of the series Clark and Lana need to find a way back to a common ground and their friendship repaired.  I just don’t want the romantic yo-yo to continue, like it has since season two. 

So Lori prints a story repeating what Chloe and Lana were talking about.  This leads to an interesting conversation between Lex and Clark.  When Lex dropped the baby bombshell, I honestly felt bad for Clark, because that was obviously not what he was expecting to hear.  Clark really showed his moral character with this revelation.  When he read the article, he wanted to confront Lana about her feelings for him.  Once he realized though that there was a baby involved, he backed off refusing to break up a family.  This is Superman folks; this is the way he would react in a situation like this.  He wouldn’t act like Stalkerman did in the recent Singer movie.

The second article that Linda Lake wrote, but ultimately never published came from a conversation she overheard between Clark and Chloe.  Clark tries to gripe at Chloe about hiding the fact that Lana was pregnant from him.  Chloe then finally blows up at him about everyone confiding in her about their secrets.  This was most deserved actually, since Clark does use her as a sounding board, and then gets upset when she hides another person’s secrets.  This was a very well done scene.

Later Chloe and Lana are talking over their web cams, when she discovers this article by Linda Lake about Clark.  Linda walks in and does the usual villain gloating bit, and almost reveals Clark’s secret while Lana is listening.  Before she can however, Chloe smashes the computer thus cutting off the possibility of Lana hearing. 

We then have a fight sequence that doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense.  Linda decides the best way to handle Chloe is to shoot at her with a nail gun, then fist fight her.  Does this sound like the way to take care of someone when you can turn into water?  She killed the jock earlier by drowning him; why not Chloe?  Turn into water and smother her, it’s as simple as that.  Ultimately though, Lana hits her with her car and she explodes in many fragments of water.

So now, Lana finally knows that Chloe is aware of Clark’s secret.  I like that; it shows progress toward Lana finding out.  Horrible villain though, and an even worse actress for the part.  Plus it was just funny seeing Tori Spelling put in clothing that the producers hoped would hide her pregnancy.

“In Conclusion”

I was actually pleasantly surprised with this episode.  The producers said in an interview that the events from this episode would influence the direction for the second half of the season.  I think they are right, and I hope it means Lana will know about Clark’s secret by the end of the season.  On top of that the Clark/Lois/Oliver side story was just plain entertaining.  “Hydro” gets 4 out of 5.

 Next week: Justice League, and I couldn’t be happier.

Picture from Kryptonsite.com

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