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Smallville Favorite Quotes / Best Lines

Tom Welling and Christopher Reeves in "Rosetta"

Some quotes chosen by Alex and some by Glynis

Season Six 

3. Arrow

Lois: Likewise. So, I wanted to tell you that I thought you were so eloquent at the Congressional indictment hearings. Sorry aboutyour oil tanker. I'd hate to be a pelican in that harbor, huh?
Oliver Queen: Well, we're gonna go. That's our cue, so... I guess I forgot to add public humiliation to the list of cocktail-party don'ts. I'm gonna go get us a drink, okay? You just wait here, and don't talk to anybody, okay?

Clark: Who are you?
Oliver Queen: Haven't you read? I'm the Green Arrow.

Oliver Queen: That's really incredible. You know you have every newspaper in the country calling this guy the Green Arrow. He's got a real following.
Lois: Yeah, well, so did Charles Manson.

Oliver Queen: Clark, you have abilities I couldn't even dream of. And I admire that you use them to save the people you're close to.
Clark: But?
Oliver Queen: But there's a whole world of people out there, Clark. They need us. With your potential... you can't wait for them to come to you. When you're ready to do something about that... you let me know.

3. Wither

Clark: Mom, I've lost Lana, Dad, Jor-El. You don't see me as a different person.
Martha: Well, in a lot of ways I do, Clark. All those things have shaped the person you are now... and the person you'll become.

Lois: [ Laughs ] Let's make it interesting. Hit that can with your arrow...and I'm yours.

Lois: Better luck next time, hood.

2. Sneeze

Lois: Hey. You guys are not gonna believe what just happened to me. I'm out there jogging along, minding my own business when, out of nowhere, a barn door comes falling from the clear, blue sky and almost crushes me. How does that happen?

Lois: Uh-oh, does Clarky have the sniffles?

Clark: At least I was able to cover half my face that time. This morning I -- I blew the barn door halfway across Small County. It almost hit Lois.
Chloe: Lois, as in Lane?

Chloe: Ok, it's definitely weird. I'll give you that. But it's not "Wall of Weird." It's called a microburst.

Oliver Queen: [ Chuckles ] Lionel Luthor. All those hostile takeovers haven't aged you a bit. Tell me, what's your secret?

Wagner: Whatever powers he had are clearly gone. But, sir, there was someone else in the warehouse... someone who seems to have other abilities.

1. Zod

Clark:  I tried to talk to Jor-El, but he wouldn't -- he wouldn't answer. The Fortress is dead. Everything's changing. Dad's gone. I can't talk to Lex. Lana's... I don't know where to go from here.

Jimmy: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Don't shoot! Okay? I work here. You don't have -- Chloe? Hey. [ Chuckles ] This isn't 'cause I didn't call you back, is it?
Chloe: Jimmy Olsen.

Jimmy: Whoa. [ Chuckles ] Grow 'em big in Kansas, don't they?

Jimmy: Catch ya later, C.K.

Martha: Every world needs its heroes, Clark. They inspire us to be better than we are. And they protect us from the darkness that's just around the corner.


Season Five 

10. Fanatic

 

09. Lexmas

Lex:  And do you know what the secret to living happily ever after is? Power. Money and power. See, once you have those two things, you can secure everything else... and keep it that way.

08. Solitude

 

07. Splinter

Clark: You know, Lex, it all makes sense now. See, I thought you were obsessed with me. But it's not about me at all, is it? It's about Lana.

06. Exposed

 

05. Thirst

Milton Fine: What if you found out that Lex Luthor was a dangerous, unstable, megalomaniac bent on destroying your world? Would you have the courage to try to stop him?

04. Aqua

Clark: I'll go talk to Lex.
A.C.: There isn't enough time. Come on, Superboy. With you on the turf and me in the surf, we could stop this thing cold.

A.C.: Maybe you ought to stick to the shallow end until you know how to swim, gorgeous.
Lois: Maybe you ought to try a breath mint, surfer boy.

Lois: You know that orange and green thing you got going? It looks like Flipper threw up.

Lois: You don’t even know me.
A.C.: What’s to know? You’re abrasive, sarcastic – you never shut up.
Lois: Yeah – those are my good qualities.

Lex: You might be a big fish in the water, but up here I’m the shark.

03. Hidden

Chloe: I know how much you've dreamt of having a bland, mundane, generic life, but being normal is highly overrated. Besides, it makes my whole sidekick role a lot easier if you can bring super-duper strength to the table.

Clark: I guess I'll never be able to escape who I really am.

02. Mortal

Clark: We should take it slow.
Lana: Clark, we've taken it slow for four years now.

Sheriff Adams: Nice work, Mr. Kent - you ever consider a career in law enforcement?

Lee: I guess all that talk about you is true, kid – you really are out of this world.
Clark: You have no idea.

(Examining a force barrier)
Deputy Kaiden: What the hell is this, Sheriff?
Sheriff Adams: Another day in Smallville.

Clark: Pete was a lot better at these pep talks in these situations.
Chloe: Pete? You told Pete your secret?!?
Clark: I kinda had to - he saw my ship.
Chloe: Pete got to see your spaceship?!?

Clark: This is impossible - it's a million degrees in here!
Chloe: Gosh, Clark, I didn't realize super-whining was one of your powers.

Clark: Destiny's just another word for not having a choice.

01. Arrival

Lois: Doctor says I shouldn’t talk too much.
Clark: That’s too bad.
Lois: Don’t get your hopes up, Smallville – it isn’t permanent.

Martha: But you can be hurt now – you’re vulnerable.
Clark: Isn’t that what it means to be human?

Jonathan: It doesn't hurt to have a one-man construction team as a son.

Clark: I wasn't born anywhere near Smallville. In fact I wasn't born anywhere near this galaxy.
Chloe: Okay, okay, so that would then make you like an...
Clark: Yep.

Season Four

22. "Commencement"

Lois: I took this career test in some magazine - it said that my perfect job would be disc jockey.
Clark: That would make sense - you certainly talk enough. There won't be any dead air.

Lionel: You know, for a woman without a heart, Genevieve Teague certainly did have a lot of blood.

Lois: Oh, come on, Clark, your future's laid out right in front of you. You're going to go to community college, major in agriculture, probably minor in law enforcement, and then you and Lana are going to have a nice little church wedding.
Clark: Excuse me?
Lois: It's written in the stars and you know it. It's only a matter of time before you join the bowling league, take over the family farm, and then, well, you and Lana can bring little Clark Jr. into the world.

21. "Forever"

Jonathan: Clark, your destiny lies far beyond those corn fields out there. And I'm not about to let you turn your back on that just because of us.

20. "Ageless"

Genevieve: Well I assume your visit has . . . cause to celebrate.
Lionel: Don't all my visits deserve to be celebrated, Genevieve?
Genevieve: Some more then others.

Lionel: Watch your back, son.
Lex: I always do.

19. "Blank"

Clark: Mr. Luthor?
Lex: Lex. I'm guessing you don't remember it, but we kinda dropped the formalities the day I ran you off a bridge.

Chloe: And the Super Wheaties abilities just keep on coming.

18. "Spirit"

Dawn: (in Martha's body) Holy crap! I'm Clark Kent's mom.

Lois: Mrs. Kent, a lot of things are possible, but there will be a man on Mars before me and Clark go to the prom.

17. "Onyx"

Lex: What’s inside you, Dad? Is it really just puppies and hugs now or is something else twisting in your gut, squirming to be free again?

Lionel: A man can't deny his true destiny, Lex – no, we're Luthors. We're Luthors.

16. "Lucy"

Lex: Dad, clearly the idea of personal space is lost on you.

Lex: Just because you have the same blood running through your veins doesn't make you family.

15. "Sacred"

Clark: I was just trying to figure out if hidden temples and body-snatching witches fits under community service or extracurriculars.

14. "Krypto"

Genevieve: I'm just trying to protect my son.
Lex: Maybe you'd better get together with my dad and write a parenting book. It'd be a best seller.

Lois: Let's see, (the dog's) annoying, and I can't get within 10' of him without being sick. Why don't we call him ‘Clarkie'?

12. "Pariah"

Lex: Can I get you something? I assure you, my tastes have matured.
Genevieve: I'm sure you've developed a taste for quite a lot of things, Lex.

Sheriff Adams: You flip-flop more than a politician, Mr. Kent.

11. "Unsafe"

Minister: Do you, Clark Kent, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?
Clark: Hell yes!

Lex: Well, the prodigal father returns.

09. "Bound"

Lionel: I want to be your father, Lex. If you'll let me.
Lex: You've got your health, Dad. Don't expect another miracle.

08. "Spell"

Clark: Isabelle was...aggressively sexy.
Lana: Oh great, possessed by an evil slut...

Clark: Hey Dad!
Jonathan: Hey, Clark. Son, is there maybe a little something you'd like to tell your mother and me? (holds up bra)
Martha: Where did that come from?
Jonathan: From out in the barn. In the hay.
Martha: Clark...
Clark: It was magic.
Martha: I'm sure it was...
 

07. "Jinx"

Lex: Mikail, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that anything lost can be found again.

06. "Transference"

Lionel-in-Clark (to Lana) : A man would travel around the world...to pluck your succulent fruit.

05. "Run"

Bart: I say I’m gonna be somewhere, I’ll be there like a flash!

Clark: Are you sure there's nothing I can do to change your mind?
Bart: Tell you what...if you can catch me...I'll think about it.

Bart: You know, I've always wondered if there was anyone out there like me, and it turns out to be you, Jimmy Crack Corn fresh from the farm.

Bart: (I'm from) the future.
Chloe: Really?
Bart: I ran all the way back through time to tell you we're still in love 100 years from now.

Bart: I'll be a thousand miles away before you can blink
Clark: I don't know, I can blink pretty fast.
 

04. "Devoted"

Chloe: (about Clark) Wow, superhero and journalist - what are the odds?

03. "Facade"

Jason: It was strange. (Clark) kind of opened up to me today.
Lana: You have no idea how strange that really is.

02. "Gone"

Lois: Gotta say I'm impressed, 'Smallville'...

01. "Crusade"

Clark is naked and turns to face Lois.
Lois: Look at his face... I have a blanket in the trunk.

Lois: Guess I'm a sucker for stray dogs and naked men. (Martha stares) Okay, that didn't come out right...

Lois: Give me a geek with glasses any day.

Martha: Clark has many sides.
Lois: I know, I've seen several already.

Lois: Were (Chloe) and Clark ever an item?
Martha: Maybe for a minute...

Lois: You know, Chloe said in her notes that you used to work for Lionel. I am trying to get in to see him, but he keeps refusing to see me. Any advice?
Martha: Stay away, you don't wanna get pulled into Lionel's web.
Lois: How did you escape unscaved?
Martha: I didn't.

Kal-El: I am Kal-El of Krypton. It's time to fulfill my destiny.

Martha: You don't know anything about my son.
Bridgette Cosby (guest star Margot Kidder):  You're right. You're right, I don't, but I do know what it's like to love someone whose calling is greater than you own.
Martha: You and Dr. Swann (played by Christopher Reeve)
Bridgette Cosby: In a different lifetime
(M. Kidder and C. Reeve played Lois and Clark in all the Superman Movies!!)

Bridgette Cosby: The symbol burnt into your field a few months ago? That's the Kryptonian symbol for Crusade.

Bridgette Cosby: The only challenge to a father's will is a mother's love.

Pilot: What is it? A bird? A plane?

Lana: Well, nothing says 'I love you' like a motorcycle helmet.

Dr. Vaughn: You're living on borrowed time, Lex – stop trying to borrow more.

Lionel: You know, they dubbed Mussolini a savior...and look what happened to him.

Lex: Apparently, I'm not ordinary.
Lionel: Nom you're not.
Lex: God help me... You shouldn't wound what you can't kill, dad.

Jonathan: Your mother tells me you can fly?
Clark: Kal-El can fly, Clark Kent is still earthbound.
Jonathan: How did that feel?
Clark: Amazing.... and scary, cuz if I can do that, maybe I'm capable of anything.
Martha: You are.
Clark: No that's you, mom.

About the explosion that "killed" Chloe
Lois: A stunt like that is thuggish and obvious, it smocks of desperation, all the things you aren't.
Lionel: All right Miss Lane, you have my attention.

Lionel:  Next time you come at me with accusations, try to have a little more than righteous indignation. Zoo time is over, Miss Lane, good day!

Lois: Glad to see we've moved beyond the clothing-optional stage of our relationship.

Season Three

22. "Covenant"

Lionel:  You're venturing into very dangerous waters, Loder.
Loder:  I'm a pretty decent swimmer. Night night.

Lex:  Orange is a good color for you, Dad, although it might get a little old after 25 to life.

Clark:  I didn't come here for you, Lex. I came because it's the right thing to do. This friendship's over.

21. "Forsaken"

Lex:  That's not the face of someone who's scored another government contract.

Lex: What's so important?
Lionel:  If you had given me any reason to trust you, you wouldn't have had to ask that question.

Chloe:  Just when you thought it was safe to go into the hallways.
Lionel:  You can cut the sarcasm.

Loder:  You know, I really don't want a morality lesson from someone who'd rat out his own father.

Pete:  That guy was going to kill me. I suppose I owe you a thanks.
Lex:  When the time comes, I'm sure you'll do the same for me.

Lionel:  I always tried to teach you, Lex - the devil's in the details. If you don't watch the details, he wins.

20. "Talisman"

Pete (on the phone): Why won't you listen to me? I don't want to talk about it!
Chloe: Note to self:  forward all telemarketing calls to Pete.

Chloe: Did you pull an all-nighter? Or do you just find changing clothes every day a little too cliché?

Lex:  I don't live in the past - someone told me it was weakness. Given your mishaps in the cave, maybe you should follow his advice.

Clark:  Mr. Luthor, those caves may not belong to my family, but this barn does. So get out.

Chloe:  What good are extracurriculars if you can't milk them for supplies?

Lex:  I like to keep my mind open to extreme possibilities.
Clark:  You're starting to sound like your father.

Lex:  I've been thinking about that prophecy. I've got a new interpretation. Want to hear it?
Clark:  Yeah.
Lex:  This Naman guy is supposed to come from the stars, have the power of ten men, and shoot fire from his eyes, right?
Clark:  It's just an allegory, Lex.
Lex:  I know. But if one person could do all that, he'd be a formidable enemy. He could conquer the world. He could become a tyrant if no one kept him in check. So I've been thinking...anybody who'd be willing to fight him would have to be pretty brave. Clark, did it ever occur to you that the hero of the story...is Ziget?

Lex (to Clark): I'm surprised. Usually you keep such a close eye on everything that happens in the caves. For those term papers you're always writing.

Willowbrook:  One who denies his destiny can bring about as much pain and suffering as his greatest enemy.

Willowbrook (to Clark): Jeremiah is desperate to be someone he's not, and you're desperate not to be someone you are.

19. "Memoria"

Lionel:  You know, Clark, I always thought that your parents corn-fed hokum made you weak, but clearly I have underestimated your dark side.

Lex:  What brings you to Smallville, Dad? To find more evidence of little green men in the Kiwatche caves?

Lionel:  I will not let you inflict psychological scars on my children.
Lillian:  That's why they have you, Lionel.

Lionel:  If I'd known . . . if I'd seen – things would have been so different between us.
Lex:  Yes, dad - you might have actually loved me.

Clark:  I wish she (Lara) could've met you, to see what a great mom I have.
Martha:  She knows, Clark. A mother's love never dies.

18. "Truth"

Lionel: Lex – thanks for dropping by.
Lex: Which of your obsessive-compulsive fixations is behind today's summons?

Clark: Since Pete's supplying the big screen, I've got dinner.
Chloe:  What? Clark Kent in the kitchen? [makes a face]. What's on the menu?

Chloe: Another lovely evening huddled around the electronic hearth

Pete: Clark's running down to Metropolis to pick up some Shark Dogs from the stadium.
Chloe: What? Whoa, back up. Clark's going to drive six hours just to get some hot dogs?
Pete: Once he hits supersonic, he can make the round trip in about ten minutes.
Clark: He's just kidding.

Chloe: Is it me, or did I just completely clear out the lunch crowd?
Lana: No, it's you.

Chloe: Why don't you just walk away from your dad?
Lex: Because he won't give me the one thing I ever wanted from him.
Chloe: And that would be...?
Lex: I want him to love me.

Lionel: Miss Sullivan, you're looking a bit peaked. I suppose a steady diet of truth can wear on a person.

Pete: As far as long shadows go, Clark, you're the dark side of the moon.

Lex: Two invitations to your office in one week. I should be flattered.
Lionel:  You should be more careful.

17. "Legacy"

Lionel:  A son's love for a father - there's nothing to compare it to.

Lex:  You know, Dad...they say mental illness is hereditary.

Lionel:  Oh, coincidence! That's an explanation used by fools and liars.

Lionel:  I believe we're put on this Earth for a reason, Clark. Our task in life is to find out what that reason is. Sometimes we can't do that alone.

Jonathan (to Clark):  And I see the way you and Jor-El fight, and I wonder if fathers and sons were the same on Krypton.

Lex:  It's like the German poet Rilke said - a person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them - they're who they've been throughout your whole relationship.

Lex:  My father's methods are often questionable, but usually there's a germ of truth in his madness.

Clark:  But I'm not human.
Swann:  Humanity is not only about biology.

Jonathan:  This is your last warning - stay away from my son.
Lionel:  If you'd raised your son the way I raised mine, maybe you wouldn't have to protect him. You know, weakness isn't something you're born with - you learn it. And Clark learned his from you.

Lex:  Where's the Inquisition when you need it?

16. "Crisis"

Lionel: Lex, give me some credit. If I had anything to do with what happened I wouldn't be so sloppy.

15. "Resurrection"

Clark: I always thought of my dad as the man of steel. I was wrong.

Lex: When my father's involved with covert research, people tend to get hurt.

Dr. Teng: How did you get past security?
Lex: As I'm sure you're well aware, this building is owned by LuthorCorp. A family name tends to open doors.

Dr. Teng: If you don't leave at once, I'm notifying your father.
Lex: Can't you just send me to the principal instead?

14. "Obsession"

Chloe:  Welcome to the Lionel Luther exhibit. Next floor, victims, sycophants, and hatchet-men.

Jonathan:  What'd she do, Clark, climb out the window?
Clark:  Actually she teleported out.
Jonathan:  You're going to have to run that by me one more time...
Clark: Alicia was infected by the meteor shower, she can transport herself wherever she wants.
Martha: Including boys' bedrooms...

Lex:  You go on one date with this girl, and already she's sneaking into your bedroom, putting sexy pictures in your locker, practically asking her parents to book the wedding chapel... What's your secret, Clark?

Chloe: I'm really sorry she went all Glenn Close on you.

13. "Velocity"

Lex (to Chloe):  Privacy laws don't seem to phase you, do they?

Pete:  Clark, you're not exactly one to talk about breaking the speed limit.

Dr. Tang:  I think you've seen one too many science fiction movies, Mr. Luthor.

Martha:  I'm going to make lunch. I got you some low-sodium turkey.
Jonathan:  Low-sodium turkey?
Martha:  Jonathan...
Jonathan:  Sounds good, sweetheart

12. "Hereafter"

Lex:  They say music hath charms to sooth the savage breast.
Adam:  Don't count on it.

11. "Delete"

Sheriff Adams (to Clark):  Your family sure has its way of going through vehicles.

Adam:  I was thinking of staying in Smallville.
Lana: Why?
Adam:  Oww – that hurt.

Lex:  I'm starting to get a complex. Seems all the women I even find remotely appealing turn out to be psychopaths.
Molly:  Birds of a feather.
...
Lex (revealing the disk he stole from Molly's disk drive): You looking for this Clark?
Molly: How'd you get that?
Lex: Birds of a feather.

Lana:  What do you think?
Adam:  I think Norman Bates would be right at home here.

Chloe:  Blacklisted before I even graduate - that's got to be a record.

10. "Whisper"

Jonathan:  Last time we trusted a doctor, she sold his blood to Lionel Luthor.
Clark:  What's the worse that could happen - I go to school and walk through a wall?

Lionel: You have to look at Clark Kent as a work in progress.

Lex: What does my father think, I'll sit in the office and twiddle my thumbs?
Clark: No, his exact words were 'sharpening pencils.'

9. "Asylum"

Chloe: Nothing says 'I love you' like a $1.50 piece of cardboard.

Ian: Well, if isn't Ku Klux Van.

Lex: You know, Clark, there is one thing I'll never forget.
Clark: What's that?
Lex: How important your friendship is to me.

Martha: I heard they're having a "Welcome Back" party for Lana at the Talon. Why don't you go?
Clark: You never quit, do you?
Martha: It's called tough love.

Asylum Attendant (to Clark): Jeez, kid, you seem to know a lot of people in here.

Ian: I know I've made some mistakes in the past ... but I'm better now.
Lex: And I'm happy for you ... both of you. Now take your little cart and go sucker someone else with a bank account.

8. "Shattered"

Clark: Don't underestimate farm boys – baling hay can make you pretty strong.

7. "Magnetic"

Lana: How tasteless is this? I think they even used real meteor rocks.
Chloe: The American version of closure. You can only get over your grief when you figure out how to merchandize your tragedy.

Seth: I hate to poke a hole in your theory, Clark, but Lana's not made out of steel.

Chloe (after kissing Clark): A good reporter always thinks on her feet.

Chloe: You're a Luthor so it's a given that you're unscrupulous, but I really thought petty larceny was beneath you, Lex.
Lex: Can you be a little more specific with the charge?
Chloe: I caught some creep in my office trying to steal one of my computers. I figured either you or your father hired him.
Lex: But you're accusing me.
Chloe: You're what they euphemistically call the lesser of two evils.
Lex: I admire your take-charge attitude - barging in here and accusing me took guts...or sheer stupidity.

Lex: What good are lawyers if they can't jump through hoops?

6. "Relic"

Lana:  You must have come from somewhere. It's not like you fell out of the sky.

Clark: Since when can you check out police records?
Chloe: Since I caught the clerk and his girlfriend playing Cops & Robbers on the job.

Clark:  It's crazy.
Chloe: You passed crazy about five random clues ago.

Joe: Where I'm from, we have colors you've never seen. Our moons are so close they fill up half the sky. We have sunsets that last for hours.

5. "Perry"

Perry (making a toast): To Littleville, Kansas, and all the Little Kansassians who live here.

Clark: You're a reporter?
Perry: In a past life.

Perry: Memories fail, but a Google search never forgets.

Perry: There's no way that Lex could have walked away from that crash without the miracle that is Clark Kent.

Perry: Thanks again for the ride.
Clark: It's the only way I could be sure you get on the bus.

4. "Slumber"

Lex (to Clark): Now you're saving people in your dreams too. Bet a shrink would have a field day with that scenario.

Lana: Clark, want to go swimming at Crater Lake?
Clark: I don't think skinny-dipping's a good idea.
Lana: Who said anything about skinny dipping? Maybe in your dreams...

Lionel: What was it that made you change your mind?
Lex: Because I was dealing from a position of fear, and if there's one thing you can sniff out like a bloodhound, it's that.
Lionel: It's a gift, Lex, and it's useful.

Lex: That island didn't make me crazy, Dad.
Lionel: Oh, crazy? Of course not . . . but it'll be good to have that in writing. Won't it?

Lionel: Lex – when you're rich, you're not crazy. You're eccentric.

Sarah: I may have been there, but Lana's the girl of your dreams.

3. "Extinction"

Lionel: Don't underestimate your own value, my son.

Clark: This will only take a minute.
Pete: That's what you said when we broke into his locker, his car, and his house!

Lex: Clark, the only abilities I have are playing the market and falling for the wrong women.

Clark: I've been in contact with a lot of krypton-infected people, and it never ends with us shaking hands or being friends.

Chloe (to Lionel): You are so low, you're subterranean.

Lex: It was Winston Churchill who said, 'Out of intense complexities, intense simplicities emerge.'

Lionel: There's some difficulty in getting you under-written by Lloyds of London.
Lex: On what grounds?
Lionel: Your tendency to attract near-death experiences has made you too great a liability.
Lex: I would think surviving would count for something.

Pete: This place could use some Lemon Pledge.

2. "Phoenix (2)"

Clark:  Looks like the old man's been working out.

Lex:  (to Lionel): Abraham threw Isaac on the pyre to prove his faith to God – what was your excuse?

Lionel: I had search parties scouring half the world for you.
Lex:  Looks like you picked the wrong half.

Lana:  Clark, the only thing that keeps hurting me, is you.

Helen: Thank God!
Lex:  Trust me, I've done that. He seems to be the only one on my side.

Lex (to Helen):  Survival of the fittest. I guess you really are a Luthor now.

Lex (to Clark):  Three months on a deserted island, and it was almost worth it to see the look on your face right now.

Clark: I thought you died.
Lex:  I guess Fate has bigger plans for me.

Chloe:  Let's face it, Lana, Clark has more issues then Rolling Stone.

Lex:  If my father had wanted me dead, I wouldn't be alive.

1. "Exile (1)"

Saleswoman: Where you from?
Clark: Someplace I'm trying to forget.

Morgan Edge: Nice scar - how'd you get it?
Clark: My father's a real bastard.

Lionel: You know, Helen, black widows may be powerful predators . . . but every predator is someone else's prey.

Lex: No, Louis, you're a psychopath.
Louis: Well, there's one in all of us – I just let mine out.

Season Two

23. Exodus (2)

Lionel:  Lionel Luthor's never got anywhere in life by playing it safe.

Lionel: Anger makes a person look weak.
Pete:  Careful, Mr. Luthor - you don't want to look too weak.

Pete (to Lionel's security guards): Don't touch me - you know you hate him.

Jonathan (giving Lex a compass for his wedding): It will help you so you don't get lost coming down the aisle

22. "Calling (1) "

Chloe (to Lionel): I don't know what your interest is in Clark, but you can take your job offer and shove it down your $1,000 pants.

21. "Accelerate"

Wedding Consultant: I would think quick decisions would be your forte.
Lex: That's why I made the quick decision to put Helen in charge of the wedding.

Lionel: I like to think I treat everyone at LuthorCorp as one of the family.
Lex:  Well, that explains the loyalty.

Lionel:  I knew you had your vices, son, but I didn't know gluttony was one of them.
Lex: If anybody would know about the Seven Deadly Sins, Dad, it would be you.

Lionel: You should be thanking me, Lex.
Lex: The thank-you note must have gotten lost in the mail along with your wedding invitation.

20. Witness

Pete: Meanwhile, in Lana Land, it looks like your ship's finally come in.
Clark: Oh, me and ...
Pete: ...just friends. You better invest in a new set of cue cards, Clark. I've never seen her so happy.

19. "Precipice"

Lex: Trust me – eccentric bald kids sit pretty low on the prep school totem pole.

Paul: You're really paranoid.
Lex: No, I'm just a frighteningly good judge of character.

18. "Visitor"

Lex:  I never figured you for having an identity crisis, Clark.
Clark: It's for a friend.
Lex: I haven't heard that one before.

Lex:  Do you believe there are aliens among us, Clark?

Clark: Lex, what are you doing here?
Lex: I always wanted to meet an alien.

Helen:  Lex, we need to talk.
Lex:  Is this a closet space issue? Because I can use the walk-in across the hall.

Lex:  Montaigne said obsession was the wellspring of genius and madness.

17. "Rosetta"

Clark: Can I tell you a secret?
Lana: That would be a first.

Dr. Walden: Lex, I may decipher ancient languages, but cryptic phone calls don't amuse me.

Chloe: Why is this guy so interested in you, Clark?
Clark: He's not interested in me - he's interested in my...umm, barn.

Swann (to Clark):  You won't find your answers by looking to the stars. It's a journey you'll have to take by looking inside yourself. You must write your destiny, Kal-El.

Clark: I told him I was sleepwalking, but I don't think I was walking...

Clark: How's Mom feeling?
Jonathan: Pregnant.

Swann: You're probably wondering why a billionaire scientist lives in the back office of a planetarium.
Clark: It had crossed my mind.
Swann: I find it peaceful. Besides, I own the building.

Swann: The one thing I've learned about science is the value of faith.

16. "Fever"

Jonathan: Son, hard as it is to believe, sometimes even your abilities are no match for a 3/4" copper washer.

Jonathan (as Helen tries to take Clark's blood sample): You don't understand... you can't do that.
Helen: Is this some kind of religious thing?

15. "Prodigal"

Lana: Don't take this the wrong way Clark, but you don't have the best track record when it comes to keeping appointments.

Lex: Remember Clark, my father may try to rule the world, but yours will inherit the Earth.

Chloe:  Are you kidding? Bossing Clark around is the highlight of my day.

Lex: You know, our family gene pool is a shark tank and our father just chummed the waters.

Lionel: Your rescues are starting to become a Luthor family tradition.

14. "Rush"

Lex: Now you wouldn't be keeping secrets from me, would you, Clark?

Chloe: You're the cunning linguist - why don't you translate this? Kiss - my - ass.

Chloe: Can you fly?
Clark: Hey - I'm not a cartoon!

Chloe: You know, for a boy who has all the money in the world, you'd think (Lex) could buy a good toupee

Chloe:  What other powers do you have?
Clark:  Why don't you come back here and find out?
Pete: Hey, this isn't a pimpmobile!

13. "Suspect"

Lex: What I find so amusing, Dominic, is that you actually believe my father is grooming you.

Lex:  Are you implying I pulled the trigger?
Clark: It's not like you haven't shot someone before.

Lionel: You've been loyal, Dominic, but Lex . . . is blood.

12. "Insurgence"

Lionel (sniffing): Do I detect a faint whiff of innuendo?

Clark: Just because you have a family doesn't mean every day's a picnic.
Lana: Unless you're a Kent.

11. "Visage"

Jonathan (to Clark): Now why do I get the impression you're not going to be the grand marshal at Whitney's parade?

Helen (to Lex): It took me five dates to figure out you're delusional.

10. "Skinwalkers"

Lex (to Lionel): Sentimentality is synonymous with vulnerability. You taught me that.

Clark: Lex, have you ever wondered if you were destined to be with someone?
Lex:  You're talking to someone who's fought his destiny his entire life.

Lionel: Lex, have I done something in the recent past to offend you?
Lex: There are so many ways I can answer that question.

Lex:  You always told me to choose my battles wisely.
Lionel:  I hope I didn't use such an obvious cliché.

Lionel: Altruism is not in your blood, Lex. Believe me.

9. "Dichotic"

Lana: Chloe said they were just finishing up an interview.
Clark: Does Chloe always finish up her interviews by making out with her subjects?

Helen:  What'd you do - verbally demean your butler?
Lex:  Cute.

Clark: I don't remember ordering a side of hostility.

Helen: When I refused to join my father's practice he stopped speaking to me.
Lex: They hate when you do that.

8. "Ryan"

Clark: If I took him home, my parents would have freaked.
Lex: Yeah, kidnapping has that effect on people.

Lex: How did you get him out without anyone seeing you?
Clark: Just lucky, I guess.
Lex: You're the luckiest guy I've ever met.

Ryan:  You should have seen him throw that orderly. He must have been 300 pounds.
Clark:  He's exaggerating...a little.

Clark: You knew about this the whole time, didn't you?
Ryan: Half a block away.

Clark: Don't go to Metropolis.
Lana: Or what? You'll kidnap me too?

Lex: In life, the road to darkness is a journey, not a light switch.
Ryan: You should remember that, Lex.

7. "Lineage"

Clark: I guess I'm not a morning person.
Jonathan: You got that from your mother. She'd be late for her own wedding. In fact, she was late to her own wedding.
Martha: Just because I wasn't trained by roosters.

Pete: Oh, man, this 'Mission:  Impossible' stuff is great.

Pete:  I'm not sure other than my scintillating conversational skills why you brought me along.
Clark: I need your spit.

Lex: Personally, I think I got all the looks in the family.

6. "Redux"

Pete: Clark Kent's on the principal's bad boy list. There's a first time for everything.

Lana: A Kent, secretive? That's shocking.

Lex:  I'm sorry being friends with me comes at such a high price.

Lex:  C'mon, Clark, I'm the king of family dysfunction.

5. "Nocturne"

Lana: I almost forgot – Clark Kent, the Man of Steel.

Tad (to Lionel): So as you can see, sir... or... maybe not actually see, in your case.

Tad: Are you letting me go?
Lionel: Never lose that grasp of the obvious, Tad. It's one of your strongest attributes.

Lionel: Where are you finding these people, Lex?
Lex: Little schools like Harvard and Yale.

Lionel (to Lex):  I wasn't criticizing, I was critiquing, there's a difference...

Lex (to Lionel): I'm glad to see your condition hasn't softened your paternal side.

Lionel: Just get me an assistant that would fit my criteria.
Lex: I don't think I would fit your criteria.
Lionel: Probably not, but nobody's perfect.

Lionel: You think that if you're a very good boy, they will welcome you into their family
Lex: It would be a step up!

Lex: If your agenda contains plans to harm the Kents in any way, this amiable father and son detente will come to an abrupt end.

Pete: Being part of this family should come with a group health plan.

Clark: My family doesn't fly much.
Lex: Trust me – that's about to change.

4. "Red"

Pete: Hey, if Clark Kent decides to break the rules, I'll be there.

Clark (looking at Jessie):  She is kinda hot!
Pete:  But aren't you married to Lana in your imagination?

Clark: C'mon, my treat.
Pete: When did you and the money truck hook up?

Clark: Did you know that Chloe had a birthmark on her cheek?
Pete: No she doesn't.
Clark: Not that cheek.
Pete: Are you doing what I think you're doing? Clark, that's Chloe you're scoping, man!

Pete: Clark Kent, chick magnet. What's wrong with this picture?

Pete: Chloe, there's something wrong with Clark.
Chloe: More than usual?

Clark: Just cuz your father has a problem, doesn't mean he needs to rule your life.
Lex: I wasn't aware a $2,000 coat came with a backbone. What's going on?
Clark:  I have a hot date tonight and I wanna rock her world.
Lex: Rock her world????

Clark: Clark Kent and Lex Luthor. I like the sound of that.

3. "Duplicity"

Lex: I had to get out the manor for a while. It was getting crowded.
Clark: Doesn't it have, like, 75 rooms?
Lex: My dad takes up a lot of space.

Lana: Long story short, I'm a terrible liar so I've moved on to avoidance.
Clark: You've come to the right place.

Jonathan: I hope you realize it's a big responsibility, Pete.
Clark: That's my dad's way of saying ‘Welcome to the family.'

Pete: So you're telling me you never once looked in the girl's locker room?
Clark:  Well, maybe once.
Pete: That's my boy.

2. "Heat"

Desiree (about Clark): He's the only one who kept a cool head. He put out the fire by himself.
Lex: Why I am I not surprised?

Martha: You set it on fire just by looking at it?
Clark: Hello? I'm the kid who can lift up tractors and look through walls.

1. "Vortex" (2)

Nixon: You have the most amazing being on Earth doing chores on your farm!

Lana: If it's any consolation, you guys look great together.
Chloe: It's not, but thanks.

Season One

21. "Tempest" (1)

Lionel: You're not my enemy. You're my son.
Lex: I never saw the distinction.

Clark: Lex cares about the town - he says he has big plans!
Jonathan: The road to Hell is paved with good intentions!

Lex:  Any relationship founded on lies is destined to fail. It's a good thing we don't have that problem.
Clark: Lucky us.

Lionel: Smallville isn't in your future, it's just a brief chapter in your biography.

20. "Obscura"

Pete: You ought to try getting off of your butt, Clark. It's the wave of the future.

Clark: (to Jonathan) Lex isn't perfect, dad. I know that. But slamming the door in his face over and over only helps turn him into exactly what you think he already is.

Nixon: It seems you've given out gifts to the competition. Now, we had an arrangement. You give me stories, I give you information. Now, what did Carrie Castle do for you that I couldn't?
Lex: She gave me a pretty mean shiatsu massage.

Clark: Chloe leaves for a day and the Torch goes down in flames.

Lex: I don't like riddles.
Dr. Hamilton: Then this puzzle will make you profoundly unhappy.

19. "Crush"

Pamela: I wanted to see what kind of man you grew up into.
Lex: A very busy one.

Lex: What's the problem?
Clark: I have these two amazing friends, both of them girls...
Lex: For the sake of argument, let's call them 'Lana' and 'Chloe'.

Lionel: What did she want?
Lex: Forgiveness.
Lionel: She must not know you very well.

18. "Drone"

Chloe: I want to know what you stand for.
Clark: I stand for Truth, Justice, and...ummm, other stuff.
Lex (to Clark): The man of tomorrow is shaped by his battles today.

Lana: And then he had the nerve to say "It's nothing personal, only business."
Clark: Why does everyone over 40 have to quote 'The Godfather'?

Lex: To quote The Godfather, "It's time to go to the mattresses".

17. "Reaper"

Clark: Besides, I know how we can catch more fish this year.
Jonathan: More lures?
Clark: X-ray vision.

Lex: Do you know what my father gave me for my tenth birthday? A copy of The Will to Power. "Behold the Superman - man is something to be overcome." Sun Tzu, Machiavelli, Nietzsche, they were the voices that nurtured me after my mother died. My father made every question a quiz, every choice a test. Second best was for losers, compassion for the weak, trust no one. Those were the lessons I grew up with.
Dominic: I'll remember that if I'm ever interviewed by the Biography Channel.
Lex: All I'm saying Dominic, is try to remember who I was raised by. I try to deny it, but I'm still my father's son. Tread carefully.

Lex: In his own way he's just trying to give you something my father never gave me.
Clark: What's that?
Lex: Limitations. All my father ever told me was "don't get caught" and "don't cause a scandal". That's not love, it's public relations. You have no idea how lucky you are. When my father dies, kings will come to his funeral but when yours does, his friends will come.

Lex: You know in ancient Persia, the kings would kill a messenger who brought them news they didn't like. In modern times a sword in the chest might seem a little extreme. Something more subtle would be in order. Enjoying your drink?

Lex: You want to ask an accounting question, dad? Call me. And the next time one of your drones bothers the Kents, he'll be lucky to ride home with the spare.
Lionel: Lex...well done.

16. "Stray"

Jonathan: You always had a soft spot for strays.
Martha: The last one turned out all right.

Ryan (after being kissed by Lana): I don't know, but I'm definitely in love.
Clark: Welcome to the club.

Lionel: Lex, your performance of late has been...more than adequate.
Lex: That sounds dangerously like a compliment.

Lionel: We don't need to play games, son.
Lex: Dad, games are all we have.

Lionel: I've been harsh on you, Lex, but greatness is a rarefied air one has to be taught to breathe.

Lex (giving Clark a present): It's a foil, Clark. Every hero should have one.

Ryan (talking about Lex): I know you like him, Clark, but there's a lot of darkness he keeps from the world.

Lex: I thought you were in Monaco.
Lionel: The backbone of surprise is fusing secrecy with speed.

Clark: Don't worry, Chloe's the queen of obscure and irrelevant references.

Lex: You know what those emperors you're always talking about were really afraid of? That there sons would become successful and return to Rome at the head of their own army.
Lionel: You think you can find your future in Smallville? I'm your future. Join me, Lex. Join me in Metropolis. How long have you been waiting to hear me to say those words?
Lex: I've waited to hear other things from you for a lot longer. I'll return to Metropolis when I'm ready.
Lionel: At the head of an army?

15. "Nicodemus"

Lana: I know you want me, Clark. Stop holding back. Come on, you're not made of steel...or are you?

Lana: You like it?
Clark: Uh, I think the operative word is "gulp".

Lex: "On God's green earth, this flower was the thief in the temple, the silent temptress that, with a single sneeze brought out the basest instincts in men and drove them to violence."

Chloe: It's a first hand account of Smallville's first mystery. In 1871 the whole settlement went postal before they even had a post office.
Pete: Nice to know Smallville was still whack even before the meteors got here.

14. "Zero"

Ma Kent: Body parts in boxes and poisoned cows...this isn't normal!

13. "Kinetic"

Chloe: Clark Kent, investigative reporter - has a nice ring to it.

Lex: Clark, you can't save the world. All you'll end up with is a Messiah complex and a lot of enemies.
Clark: I saved you, didn't I? That turned out all right.

Lex: You're a teenager, Lana. Mercurial doesn't do you justice.

Chloe: Ah, the sweet smell of freedom.
Clark: Chloe, you were in the hospital, not Alcatraz.

Chloe: You know, all this resting is driving me insane. These so-called "health-care professionals" just want me to stay in bed and eat jello.
Clark: Those fascists.

12. "Leech"

Victoria: We could've been great together.
Lex: I plan on being great all by myself.

Victoria: It was only business.
Lex: You call sleeping with me business? Tsk. I hate to think what that makes you.

Clark: I hope all this attention doesn't go to his head. He needs to be careful.
Chloe: Well, you know what, Clark, the second you start throwing people thirty feet, I'll write nice things about you too.

Clark: You don't feel any differently about me now do you?
Martha: Clark, you're our son; whether you can bench-press the tractor or not.

Clark: Maybe being normal won't be so bad; I mean it works for you and mom.
Mrs. Kent:  Oh, thanks.

Lex: No one's ever going know about this; and if this story is accidentally leaked, you and I are going to have a serious trust issue.
Roger: As opposed to the close, personal relationship we enjoy now.

11. "Hug"

Lex: Trust me, Clark. Our friendship is going to be the stuff of legends.

Clark: I don't blame him; I don't see myself being a farmer when I grow up.
Lana: Then what do you want to do?
Clark: I'm not sure - as long as it doesn't involve putting on a suit and doing a lot of flying.

Lex: I knew you always kept secrets from me, but I never knew they were this good.

10. "Shimmer'

Nell: Lana, you still out here...? (interrupting Clark and Lana's almost kiss) Clark, do you have the time?
Clark: No, but I'm guessing it's late.
Nell: Smart kid.

Jonathan: Clark, you know you can't donate.
Clark: I know, dad but what am I supposed to tell her?
Martha: That you have a problem with needles, which you technically do.
Clark: Great, not only do I lie, but I look like a wuss.

Lex: Napoleon's mother couldn't make it to his coronation. But when he commissioned it, Napoleon told David to paint her in as if she were there, right in the center. Even though she couldn't be there physically he brought her into his life through sheer force of will. There to share in his greatness.

Clark: No, I think I'll play it by ear, you know, fly by the seat of my pants...
Pete: Clark, you're not the flying type.

Lana: That's the thing about Clark Kent:  he's not always there when you want him...but he's always there when you need him.

Lionel (interrupting Lex and Victoria kissing): Lex, you have disappointed me.
Lex:  Hi Dad! It's good to see you too.
Lionel:  Would you mind telling me what she is doing here?
Lex:  Right now? Working on my neck. But knowing her, I think that's just a start.
Lionel: Could this be a ploy to get my attention? Well done, it worked.
Lex: I know this is going to come as a shock, but not everything in my life revolves around you.
Lionel: Oh, I understand. So you're simply... being swindled?

Victoria: I'll send Sir Harry your regards.
Lionel: Swell.

Lex (to Lionel): LuthorCorp is your company. I'm just one of its expendable employees. As you made abundantly clear when you exiled me to this charming cow-town.
Lionel: Empires are not brought down by outside forces - they are destroyed by weaknesses from within.

Clark (x-raying the room in two second to find Lex's watch): I don't see it.
Lex: What are you? Part bloodhound?
Clark: no, I, uh... I live on a farm, I'm pretty good at finding needles in haystacks.

Chloe: Maybe the Scottish castle came complete with a poltergeist.
Clark: Well, the police say it's vandals. They don't know many ghosts who write in spray-paint and own a black light.

9. "Rogue"

Lex (pointing to a "S"-type symbol): You know it belonged to Alexander the Great? They said the design symbolizes strength and courage.
Clark: I can't exactly see myself going into battle with that on my chest.
Lex: Darker times call for darker methods. His opponents thought he was invincible.

Clark: I didn't know you were such a history buff.
Lex: I'm not. I'm just interested in people who ruled the world before they were thirty.

Victoria: He understands you may have certain negative feelings towards your father.
Lex: Sir Harry has always had an incredible grasp of the obvious.

8. "Jitters"

7. "Craving"

6. "Hourglass"

5. "Cool"

4. "X-Ray"

3.  "Hothead"

2. "Metamorphosis"

1. "Pilot"

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Updated 5/24/10

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