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Episode #315 "The Cliffhanger"

Transcripts contributed by Eric
Editing by Suzanne

Aired February 2nd, 2006

(this still needs extensive proofreading)

She seemed a little weird when she saw us together last night. But they're just friends, so why would it matter? I love ryan. It doesn't mean that you don't like johnny. I don'T.

Then you wouldn't mind that

I just made out with him upstairs. We both have very complex lives, and... maybe we should consider all of the implications.

Before going further.

Are we building a hospital? Is it too late for a new approach? Let's do it your way.

You're trying

to take care of me. The least I can do is take care of you. Caleb would've been proud. We got it. Sandy, that's wonderful. And you did it your way. Yeah. Cohen! I got one! Got an interview with the brown guy. Mrs. Rothschild just told me, and that you got one, too. Please tell me it went okay. It went great.

We totally bonded. Ryan:

Are you high? ( Laughs ): Am I high? Ryan. Ryan. Come on, wake up. Hey. What's wrong? Seth is gone. What? He's gone? Yeah. His alarm went off, I went into his room, his bed his empty. Uh... calc exam. Calc exam? Yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, he probably just went in early to school to cram for it. Yeah, well, I'm gonna drive over there to make sure. No, no. I'll go. I'll go. I got to get to school early anyway. If there was anything going on with, seth, anything I should know, you would tell me, right? Yeah. I'll call you, uh, when I find him. Hey, man. So, uh, sandy noticed you're gone-- he's worried. Just taking in the sunrise, ryan. Yeah, that's what they have windows for. So I wanted to be alone-- are you the only one in this family that's allowed to brood? Man, whatever it is, you can tell me. My brown interview did not go... so well. Actually, it didn't go at all. You blew it off? Yep. And then to put the cherry on top of that, I went ahead and lied to summer about it. Right. Well... I don't know, talk to her. Yeah, see, summer was over pot by the tenth grade. She thinks it's totally juvenile-- it'd be like telling her I'm into beanie babies. Well, you know, at least tell her that you missed the interview. You do that, and I'll keep quiet about the rest of it. We're getting dangerously close to an after-school special here, ryan. It's marijuana, and I did it twice. So you're telling me you didn't come down here to buy a bag? Fine, I wasn't gonna smoke anymore anyways.

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jump to the beat then lose your... 10 what are you doing? Trying to decide on a bathing suit. Do you think tankinis are over? You're going swimming? No. Johnny's taking me for a surf lesson. He says the waves are always best in the morning. That's what I hear. Look... I know that you're mad about me and johnny. I'm not mad. Do I look mad? Okay, we may not be bffs, but you're my sister, and I can tell when you're mad. Kaitlin, look in my eyes. I don't care about you and johnny. You have a boyfriend. So johnny harbor's fair game, right? I'm not talking about this. Can you honestly tell me you have no feelings for him? That's what I thought. Hey. You're right on time. Sorry, I didn't mean to walk in on anything. No problem. You ready to surf? Uh, I got to go. Enjoy the beach. Katy rubell, 39, single. Loves tennis, loves working out. Do we have anyone for her? I say she dies alone. Julie! I'm sorry, I just can't focus on fixing other people's love lives when my own is such a mess. Dr. Roberts will call you. Or if you want, you could call him. I know you've been married for, like, 200 years, but you must remember something about dating. Well, I hope so, or I'm in the wrong business. Maybe that's the answer. Pitch dr. Roberts the dating service, set him up. Set him up? Are you high? No, I'm serious. Then you'll be back on his radar and it won't seem like you're pursuing him. I like it. I'm aloof but thoughtful. And when he's confronted with the idea of dating these newpsies... half of whom he's botox'd himself. ...He will realize that the only woman he wants is you. And he will call you for dinner. I'll suggest al fiorno's, a table by the window. I'm impressed. You're sneakier than I thought, kirsten cohen. Well, being around you all these years, it's rubbed off. Hey. Hey, cohen. Hey, did you write your thank you note yet to the brown interviewer? No. Actually, that's something I wanted to talk to you about. Oh, you came to the right person, because I am master of the thank you note. Oh. Listen to this. "Thank you so much for the resplendent interview. "Resplendent." Yeah. I bought a thesaurus. Shelly loves sat words. Hey, I didn't know you two were on a first-name basis. Oh, yeah, we totally power-bonded. Which means I may actually have a chance of getting into brown. Do you know what that means? No calling, no texting, no e-mailing-- just us together, isn't that great? Yeah. Okay, so tell me-- how did your interview really go? Do you think you aced it? I knocked it out of the park. Really?! Yeah. Yeah. And it wasn't easy, believe me, but, you know, I turned on the cohen charm, as usual, and... the lady swooned. Cohen? Yeah? Shelly's a guy. Is it because... yes, yes, you're... I'm sor... correct. But with the feminine energy, I don't know, I got a gay vibe, I'm gender-blind, that's the thing, and that's something that I'm gonna have to work on at brown next year whenene go together, when we go together. Okay, I'm gonna see you later. I got to go. Cohen. We'll talk after school. ( Ryan groans ) hey. Wow, somebody was really craving caffeine. Oh, yeah. I can barely keep my eyes open. ( Groans ): Early morning wake-up call, courtesy of seth. Oh, has he told summer yet? No, and he's not going to. By the way, I promised that, um, we'd keep quiet about it, as long as he told her about the interview. Oh, I was looking forward to summer bitch-slapping kaitlin for giving seth pot. Guess she's just gonna get away with it, like always. You know, it's for the best. I mean, she screwed up, but she's still pretty much a kid. Yeah. But with my mom's dna. Which means she's capable of more than you think. Um... are we still talking about seth, or... this is just sister stuff. You know, I should probably get to class. See you later. Okay. It's "just sister stuff"? Johnny: Okay, let's practice your pop-up one more time. When you told me you were gonna give me a surfing lesson, I kind of imagined us in the water. No, no. First lesson's always on the sand. As long as we're skipping the water part, why don't we just do this back at your place? Or we could just blow the whole thing off. Rent a movie, order in pancakes. I thought you said you wanted to learn how to surf. I'm not training for the olympics, okay? Sorry. I'm just distracted. Thinking about marissa. Story of my life. I like a guy, he's in love with my older sister... look, marissa and I have a history together, all right? It'S... just complicated. Uncomplicate it. Do something. I can't do anything. It's not my place. If you're too lame to do something, I'll just find somebody who will. Sandy:

I thought this was a done deal. Miriam already gave us the hospital contract. He did. And now he has to present it to the board of physicians. Can't have a hospital without doctors. Like or not, they got a say. Right. Now we have to ply more people with women and liquor. I don't think that's gonna work. These guys are doctors, not businessmen. Then we got that in common. Call it willful naiveté, call it bleary-eyed optimism you think we've got a shot. Yeah. There's over 100,000 uninsured that live in orange county. There's got to be some angle we can find to make that land on these guys. Well, there is. The head of the board, henry griffin. Turns out we have A... a personal connection. Well, now, there's a shocking turn of events. It's his daughter, maya. She's a stripper, too? No, she was a year ahead of me at kellogg. Now she's one of its most trusted advisors. And she used to have a thing for me. Well, who could blame her? So now you want to wine and dine her, use her affection for you to manipulate her father. Listen, it's no worse than the strippers we got for bill miriam. Oh, I don't know-- I draw the line at family, matt. How about this? How about we find a strategy that doesn't involve liquor or sexual favors? Thank you. I mean, gracias. Julie? Hi. Uh, your receptionist told me you'd be home today, so I thought I'd come by and personally thank you for hosting kaitlin's birthday party. And as a token of my appreciation... bachelorettes of newport? You want to set me up? Well, unless... you don't want to be set up. Well, I hadn't really thought about it. Because I can totally understand if a blind date seems like too much. Let's see what you have there. New match. Wow, she's pretty. Mm, pear shaped. But pretty. Ooh. Look at her, nice... smile. Yeah. Adult braces. And her... julie, all of these women look fantastic. It's going to take me a while to choose one. Do you mind if i get back to you? Finally, you're home. What'd you do, take the scenic route? I'm sorry, I didn't know you were waiting for me. Well, I just get kind of lonely while you guys are all at school. Speaking of school, shouldn't you be going back to yours soon? How many times do i have to tell you guys? It's called mid-winter break. It's long. Apparently. Look, I want to talk to you about marissa. This whole johnny triangle we're all trapped in. Triangle? Well, now that I'm here, it's more like a square. Well, anyway, see, I like him. And I'm not getting anywhere because he thinks he's got a chance with marissa. Well, not that that's any of your business, but it's not the case. I don't know. See, today I asked her if she had feelings for him point blank. She didn't deny it. Well, thanks for the heads up. I think marissa and i can handle it ourselves. So if you just want to... ryan, I want you to do something about it. I mean, you're a man of action. You throw punches at fires. At least that's the guy I remember from two years ago. We've all grown up since then. So you're reformed now? Congratulations. Doesn't mean you still can't talk to her. ( Sighs ) so you can hook up with johnny? You get something out of it, too. You get to find out where you stand... once and for all. Ryan, hey. Is everything okay? 'Cause you sounded really weird on the phone. I need to know how you feel about johnny. So I take it kaitlin paid you a visit. This isn't about kaitlin. We both knew this was an issue long before she showed up. I'm with you. But that's not the whole story, is it? Maybe you just feel sorry for him or... maybe sometimes you didn't think you can talk to me... or I wasn't listening... or maybe you're in love with him. Either way, you got to figure it out. Until then, I... I don't want to see you. Look, I know things have been confusing... don't just clean... deep clean and invigorate your skin new neutrogena deep clean invigorating scrub with icy-blue micro-beads exfoliates and cleans deep-down to pores feel the cool rush kick-in so clean. So invigorating. Deep clean invigorating scrub

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dede for bieies in mioion. Hey. Morning. ( Grunts ) oh, no, the atwood grunt. That's never a good sign. What's the matter? I'm going to guess. Marissa. Or johnny. Maybe kaitlin. I'm going to say probably a combo platter. I think marissa and i are on thin ice. Oh. She needs to figure out her relationship with johnny pronto. She's, uh, got good taste in people. I'surell do the right thing. Speaking of the right thing... um... I tried to talk to summer. And? I chickened out. Which is kind of my go-to move these days. But I'm going to take care of it. And I'm rescheduling the interview. Think they're going to let you take it again after you blew the first one off? Well, for the first one I had an epileptic fit. And there was a three-car pileup on the freeway with a jackknifed trailer truck, so... all right, I'll work on my excuse. That's a good idea. Oh, kaitlin, you're up. I was just making some grits. Okay. Mom, we get it. We live in a trailer park. There's no need to go overboard. Marissa, you want some? I'm not hungry. Fine. I'll go see if gus likes these. I mean, he does eat pigeons after all. Be right back. I'd kill for some apple jacks. Do you think we have any? Kaitlin, you had no right to talk to ryan about my relationship with johnny. It's none of your business. I was just sharing my opinion. What did I ever do to you? I mean, I know mom ignores you and dad left. Okay, let's not turn this into family therapy. Okay, then let's not pretend this is all about johnny. What else would this be about? Come on, you're doing this to punish me. You know, I was actually happy when you came home. I thought we were gonna be friends again. But now I just can't wait for you to leave. Summer... I just got off the phone with mr. Spivey from brown. Looks like you've got a fan. Oh, great. You know, I was actually just curious. Did he mention how I went with seth? Seth cohen? Yeah. You know, gangly, mop-head, barely has an ass. Right. Um... unfortunately, seth missed his interview. What? He was a no-show. He was just in here explaining the situation. Something about a tractor-trailer accident. Oh, my god, that little bitch. Excuse me? I'm sorry. Thank you for your help. Well... I finally heard from dr. Roberts. That's great. Or not. He had me set him up with laura cross. They'll be eating at il forno's, a table by the window. Oh, julie, I'm sorry. Oh, no, it's my own fault. I let you do the scheming, clearly not your wheel house. From now on, if someone needs to be manipulated, we put me in charge. Fair enough. Laura cross... I don't know her. Well, she'll probably marry him and enjoy a life of free brow lifts. Anyway... I am going to get to know her and find out what I'm up against. Don't tell me you're going to spy on them. I tried taking your advice, kiki, and quite frankly, it sucked. From now on, we do things the julie cooper way. Julie cooper, be careful. I see we have a problem. Chili, man, I'm fine, all right, I just... in love with marissa cooper. My friend, in all my years of loving ladies and getting nothing in return I have never been as bad off as you. Thanks, man. Makes me feel a lot better. Normally... I would advise you to go cold turkey. Delete her number from your cell, spam-block her e-mails, and just hope that the obsession passes. But I see that you are in deeper than this. So what do I do? You take a shot. That way, even if she rejects you, at least you know you tried. Yeah, and there's always a chance that she feels the same way, right? Reasons abound. The point is, you owe it to yourself to at least know whether or not she likes you. You could have a drink tonight. You sure? Well, you've had a tough day. So has matt. Looks like he's come here to drown his sorrows. Oh. Well, you should ask him to join us if he's all by himself. Or not. Ah, that's maya griffin.

O.C. Weekly just did a profile on her. Apparently she's an up-and-coming newpsie. Wow, I have too much time on my hands. Well, if she's the new queen, she's still got a lot to learn. Well, why wouldn't she date him? He's young and attractive. He's using her. Her father's the head of the board. Are you going to talk to him? Tomorrow. Tonight, I'm out with my lovely, beautiful, morally uncompromised wife. We could go to the crab shack, pick up something to go. Sand dabs are in season. Genius. Hey. Hey. Thanks for meeting me. Yeah, I wanted to talk to you, too. Things have been... really weird between us. Yeah. I know. Um... that's just why I wanted to get everything out in the open. Johnny, I don't know if now's the time to... I love you... and I think you love me, too. Johnny... look, okay, look what's happened between us. I mean, I got hurt and you took care of me even when i begged you not to. I know. That's true. But... I told you to stay away from me and you showed up at my house. I'm not imagining this, okay? There's something real between us. That's why neither of us can walk away. Look... you don't have to say anything right now, okay? Just, you know, think about it. Don't just clean... deep clean and invigorate your skin new neutrogena deep clean invigorating scrub with icy-blue micro-beads exfoliates and cleans deep-down to pores feel the cool rush kick-in so clean. So invigorating. Deep clean invigorating scrub @@@@úúúúppppxx|x|| ñppúúúú@@@@;`@@úúpp|x @@ppxx@@ppxx@@úúxp||úúúú@@ nobody likes a cough or cold. New tylenol liquid with coolburst. They relieve your symptoms and coat your throat for an instant soothing sensation. Ryan: Morning. Morning. Hi, ryan. Feel like a bagel? I do, thank you. Ah, there's my son. How are you? Good. Do we have poppy? Oh, great. How are you really? Uh... I'm really fine, dad. How are you? I'm good. I'm good. Just making sure you're staying afloat. I know you got a lot of stress. Exams, college applications. Yeah, no, not to worry. It's all under control. Oh, hey, summer. Hi. Just in time for breakfast. Oh, thanks, mr. C. Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to seth upstairs... um, possibly alone. Okay. All right, so... ow! What the hell? You lied about your college interview, and I don't like liars! I can explain. Explain what, that you're pathological? That you invent stories about college interviews that never even happened? You make it sounds so bad. Cohen, you are in a deceit spiral, and if you don't stop now, you could turn into one of those creepy old men who have secret attics where they hide stolen money and porn. Okay, first of all, that sounds awesome. Second of all, could be worse. I got scared. Scared? Yeah. Tongue-tied, uh, dizzy. My bladder felt weak. I just want to know why you didn't tell me. Because I was embarrassed. You've got this natural confidence. You're small and you're cute. People like you. I'm a social outcast with a mumbling problem. You're just realizing this now? Well, if we go to college together, everybody's going to love you, and I'm going to be your nerdy boyfriend. And I'm going to be your not-so-bright girlfriend that can't keep up when everyone's talking about yakuza films and prowst. It's proust. See? Look, we have to be honest with each other, or this is never going to work. No, you're right. So is there anything else you need to tell me? 'Cause now's your chance. Just put it out on the table. No. Okay. Then you are officially exonerated. Thesaurus again. Hmm. ( Laughs ) ( sighs ): You want to get down? Hey. I didn't know we were working this weekend. I thought maybe you and i would go hit the links. What, and ruin a sport I love? It's the weekend, so I'm going to make this brief as I know how. I was at dinner last night with kirsten at the yacht club. I saw you there... with maya. ( Sighs ) henry griffin told maya about meeting with me, so she decided to get in touch. She asked you to dinner. She did. Why? Is it illegal to take a girl out to dinner? You know, when kirsten used to run this place, I saw a lot of creeps in nice suits that used to try to use her to get to her father. I didn't like it then, and I don't like it now. We're trying to build a hospital that could service 100,000 uninsured. You're trying to use a daughter to manipulate her father... and you're comfortable with that. Look, sandy, you're a great guy, but maybe you don't have the stomach for this. All I'm saying is that we're going to have to bend the rules if we want to win the game. That'd look great on a bumper sticker. I want to see you on monday with a real game plan. All right. Hey. Um... kirsten let me in. She seems really nice. What do you want? Um... look, um... you've always been a really good guy to me. You know, you've helped me with volchek, trusted me with marissa... now you're in love with her. I told her. I-I promised myself I-I would just live with these feelings, you know-- I wouldn't do anything about them, but, um... I just can't do that anymore. What, do you want my blessing? I guess I just... just wanted to say I'm sorry. Thanks for that. Leave now. Well, I'm passionately devoted to my work on the board of the children's museum. Children are so important, don't you think? Oh, she's so phony. Well, of course she is. She lives in newport. ( Gasps ) oh, god, mayday. Taryn baker just walked in. Well, you'd better get out of there before she sees you. Laura: Dinner with you, apparently. Oh, too late. Hi, taryn. Why are you all bundled up like that? Has newport been taken over by the taliban? I'd really love to stay and chat, but I have to be going... oh, my goodness, it's laura cross! Laura, hi! It's me, taryn, from orchid club. Oh, taryn, of course. Do you know julie? I have to go. Laura: We haven't met. Julie? Julie? Oh, my! What a coincidence. Have you been sitting at the next table this whole time? Are you spying on me? Uh... I... I'm sorry. ( Gasps ) ( groans ) kaitlin: Hey. There's a sale at paul frank if you want to go. Probably can't afford anything, but we could try stuff on. No thanks. I'm guessing you're still mad at me. Look, I know you may not believe me when I say this, but I'm trying to do you a favor. Oh, yeah? Well, thanks. So far, it's been a real blast. Remember when we were little, and dad used to always take us to baskin-robbins? You'd have to sample, like, every single flavor before you could decide on what you actually wanted, and then once you did, you realized that you didn't like it, so you'd cry. Dad would have to take you back in to get another cone. Is this another story about how growing up, it was always about me? No. It's about you not trusting your instincts. Maybe I'm not built that way. So? It's a skill. Learn it. Make a decision and stick with it. Remember what i used to always get? Gold medal ribbon. Every time. I figured I loved it-- why question it? ( Sighs ) honey, you just missed marissa. Marissa? Yeah. She left this for you. I'm sorry. ( Sighs ) you want to be with johnny. No, I'm sorry I ever made you wonder. Look, you two have a connection. I get that. It's not even about him. No, it'S... it's about me. I was just... not being able to talk to you about trey. And then with kaitlin coming back, her hooking up with johnny, it just... it threw me for a loop. But I think we can get past that. It's not that easy. You can't just snap your fingers and make everything go back the way it was before. Well, we can try. Maybe start with dinner? Johnny. Which cooper are you here to see? I'm here to see you. I thought maybe we could go to the beach. For a night surfing lesson? I was thinking more like bonfire and tequila. Even better. Know where my mom keeps the stash. So, what's the occasion? Just feel like you and I never really got a chance to party. What do you say? Okay. Hungry? Oh, I'm sorry, baby. I... I should've called. Oh, it's okay. I figured you were here. Who would've thought the newport group would be where I go to for a moment of zen? I know. Sometimes this job makes you do a lot of hard thinking. I want this hospital more than I've wanted anything in a long time. Then you can't let matt's relationship with maya griffin stand in your way. For all you know, she could be using him, too, or they could live happily ever after. The point is if you want this as bad as I think you do, you have to go for it. So where's the line? I'm not worried about you knowing where the line is. You always do. It's who you are. ( Knocking at door ) ( clears throat ) coming! Summer: Cohen! Hang on... cohen, why is the door locked? Cohen, I brought some dvds. ( Rattling doorknob ) hi.

Save the last dance

and she's all that. Now, I know you're not interested in either of them, but I cannot watch another movie about japanese people flying through the air. Okay, that's fine. Let's go downstairs. Wait, what? That's fine, but are you okay? Yeah, I'm great. Come on. What's that smell? It is incense. I was doing yoga, plus i had some really bad gas. Gross. ( Groans ) god, wish I'd brought something to mix it with. Eh... couple more sips, you won't even notice. Okay, alkie. Can we just hook up already? Or, before you pass out on me. You don't waste any time, do you? Well, it's just the fire. It's so romantic. Well, the fire is, actually, kind of dying. Well, okay then. I'll just go find some driftwood. Heat things up a bit. ( Chuckles ) what's that? Nothing I want to remember. Where are you going? To climb up there. Okay, tequila and rock climbing, I'm not exactly sure that's the best combination. So don't come. Johnny, wait. ( Knocking ) ( knocking ) go away, gus. ( Pounding ) I told you, I don't play strip pinochle. You play strip pinochle? Long story. What... what are you doing here? I stopped by to thank you for fixing me up with laura. She's a wonderful woman. Well, good. I'm glad it worked out with the two of you. If you'll excuse me, I have a hot pocket in the microwave and a wine cooler with my name on it, so good luck. What? What do you want? You. Excuse me? You can be manipulative, you can be aggressive, I've know you to stretch the truth on occasion. But the fact is, when I'm not around you, I miss you. You do? What can I say? ( Chuckles ) I've fallen for you. ( Chuckles ) well... this just may be your lucky night. I have an extra hot pocket. Johnny, would you just come down already? You're wasted. Johnny, just come down. Johnny! ( Laughs ): Did you see? Johnny, just come down. I almost dropped it. It's okay, I got it. Johnny, please! Just come down. Seth's really into that movie. Yeah, I know, and he ate all of our dumplings. Look, I know it's gonna take more than thai food and teen movies to sort this out, but if you want to talk... talking is the last thing I feel like doing. I figured, since you gave me the silent treatment the whole way in the car. What do you want from me? I want you. ( Cell phone ringing ) you want to answer that? Not really. Wait. It's kaitlin. Ah, she's setting the mood. ( Cell phone ringing ) all right, let me just get rid of her. Setting the mood. Tell her that... wait. Kaitlin, let me call you back. Marissa, can you come and get me? I'm at westward cove with johnny. No, I'm busy. You're getting busy. No, but you don't understand. I'm scared. He's drunk and he's acting like a crazy person. Hey, come up here! You got to see this view! Johnny, just come down. What's that? Marissa, it's him, I'm telling you. Johnny's in trouble and I don't know what to do. Um, hold on. It's johnny? Yeah, he's in trouble. Kaitlin? Ryan, you have to help me. He won't come down. He's really in trouble? I swear. We'll be right there. Wow. So that was, um... that was

save the last dance, uh? Okay, I know there weren't any subtitles or kung fu or whatever, but I thought it was pretty good. No, I thought it was amazing. That dance number at the end was so inspiring. And summer, I'm so glad... I'm so, so glad, that she got into julliard in the end. And she did it for her mom. For her mom, summer. Yeah, it wasn't that good. This is pretty amazing, too. It's just a blue screen, cohen. I know, but it's so blue. I never realized how blue it was before. I kind of, like, want to go swimming in it or something. Yeah. For a little dippy-dip. Okay, it's pretty blue. Yeah. Could you excuse me, I got to go to the bathroom. Yeah, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere. We should, we should take our pants off. Come on, captain oats. We both know something's up. Ew. Over there. You go to kaitlin. I'm gonna find another way up there. Keep him talking. Johnny, just come down! Kaitlin. Are you all right? Oh, I'm so happy that you're here. Marissa! Johnny... look, you have to get down from there. Johnny: Go home! I don't have anything to say to you. Look, we can get through this, all right? I mean, you're one of my best friends. After all we've been through, I get to be your best friend? Come on, let me explain it to you. We can go back to your place. Look, just come down, johnny. Dude, you are the last person I want to see right now. Okay, all right, let's get you down from there. We can talk about it later, okay? Right, right. So you can save me one more time for marissa. Hey, marissa! Marissa! You want to watch ryan save me again?! Just come down, johnny, please! So she'll love you even more. Okay, just be careful, all right? What, I might fall, you get to come in and grab me at the last second? Ryan atwood saves the...

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