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2-13 "The Long Con"

Transcripts contributed by Eric
Editing by Suzanne

Aired February 8th, 2006

(this still needs extensive proofreading)

Previously on "lost"... charlie, just give me the baby. Who the hell are you, john?! Aaron's not your responsibility! Where were you when he was born?! Where were you when he was taken?! You're not his father. You're not his family! Neither are you, charlie. (Sobs) I'm sorry! This is not your island. This is our island, and the only reason you're livin' on it is 'cause we let you live on it. Right here, there's a line. You cross that line, we go from a misunderstanding to something else. It's your call, jack. Sayid tells me that you're a cop. I was a cop. Can I ask you something? Shoot. How long do you think it would take to train an army? Is that all of them? All six of 'em. Just, uh, one box of ammo. At least we don't have to worry about running out anytime soon. Jack, I'm grateful that you decided to keep them all in the same place. Oh, I had to take them from charlie-- his heroin stash. Well, I figured it might have therapeutic value, if it ever came to that. You're just gonna leave it all in the statues? You want to break seven virgin marys? Be my guest. I'm superstitious. John? The combination. I'm gonna go ahead and assume that you're asking me because you're worried that I might fall off a cliff or something, that it would be irresponsible for just one of us to have access to this room, rather than this being an issue of trust. Well, there are a lot of cliffs on this island, john. All right, but I think we should agree, jack, that if either of us need to open this door, we consult each other first. Absolutely. Right 7, left 33, right 18. You need to write it down? Nope. I got it. All right. And, jack, you may want to consider locking the medicine in here, too. Why would I need to do that? Well, well... now look who had to relocate to the suburbs. Ain't that just like a woman? She keeps the house. You get the cheap-ass apartment. Man, I thought these people hated me, but I gotta hand it to you-- stealin' a baby, tryin' to drown it? Now that's a new low. Even made locke take a swing at ya. Hell, that's like gettin' gandhi to beat his kids. Shouldn't you be more worried about jack ransacking your tent right now? What? What the hell do you think you're doin'? You stole these from the hatch. You stole them from me. What? They were in my stash when I left. I just took back what was mine. These belong to all of us, sawyer, to the group. You don't have a stash anymore. Seriously, doc, you don't want to do this. Just give me the pills. We'll forget it ever happened. Are you threatening me? Last chance, doc. (Pills rattle) captioning provided by touchstone television, abc, inc. And ford motor co.-- Built for the road ahead. Captioned by closed captioning services, inc. Parents in mill woods are on edge after 3 attempted abductions. The latest happened today to a 10 year old just steps from his school. And: A wild ride for a man trying to stop someone from need help starting the day ? Kraft peanut butter has did u get your bear hug this morning ? , See you there.[ Beep of cellphone ]

[ ]

[ Ringing of cellphone ] Yeah? Oh! The east roof.

[ Chuckling ]

[ ] Achoo!! Ohh, this cold. Yeah, I know what you mean. No you don'T. You don't have a cold. Oh yes I do. You're not sniffling or anything. Well, I was yesterday, but I took contac. New contac complete syrup

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with your day. Mmm. What do you want right now? Just you. Oh, damn it. What is it? Uh, gonna be late for that meeting I told you about. A meeting, huh? Yeah. You got another date, you can just say so. I can only wrap my mind around one woman at a time. (Sighs) but I appreciate the permission. (Laughs) back in a flash, gorgeous. You weren't exactly supposed to see that. (Laughs) are you serious? What? You're not serious. You just happen to have a suitcase full of cash, and you go to pick it up, and then the lock just happens to break? Give me that. It's not even real. Newspaper? Are you trying to con me? What, I ask you what all the money's for, and you do some song and dance about an investment or something and then--and then I say, "hey, yo, I've got some money." Look, you got me. Good for you. No harm, no foul. You should have done your homework. I didn't take anything from him in the divorce. I'm not even worth your trouble. Well, shame on me. I want you to show me what you do. Show me what you do, what you really do. And what do I do? Show me how to con people, sawyer. I like what you've done with the place. The maid's day off. You want to move? I heard jack took your painkillers. Yeah, well, guess me and the doc are on the outs. One less christmas card I'll have to send this year. Maybe that'll cheer you up. It's from the hatch. I know you're hard up for new reading material. Well, as much as I'd like to learn to feather my hair... (laughs) I lost my damn glasses on the raft. You want to read it to me? What, you got an appointment or something? Ahh. All right, "ten ways to tell if he's a sensitive man." This oughta be good. Mornin'. Hey, john. Now there's a sensitive man. Claire asked him to sleep down here. Come on. Locke's got himself needs... just like anyone else. Not everyone is like you, sawyer. Guess that's why el jacko and ana lulu ain't asked me to join their revolution. What, you didn't hear about their little army? Guess I'm not the only one on the outs with the doc. (Grunting) hey, man. You gonna "put the lime inthe coconut, drink 'em both up"? "Lime in the coconut"? The song? What do you want, hurley? So I'm over at roseand bernard's tent. Did you know he's a dentist? Well, that's not allhe's been holding out on us. The guy picked up boone's signalfrom the norwegian plane...

nigerian. Right. Anyhow,he picked it up with this. That is a shortwave radio.It's a glorified walkie-talkie. Yeah, but can't you switchthe blue wire with the red wire, make it stronger? We tried to send a signalwith the plane's transceiver, and all we got was the french woman's messageon a loop. Why would I bother? Come on, man,I mean, it's worth-- it's worth nothing.It's a waste of time. Just trying to cheer you up,dude. I don't need cheering up. Okay, man, sorry.No problem. (Ana lucia) hey...

hey. Hey. You get the combo? Nice. Didn't thinkit'd be that easy convincing your palto give it up. That's the nice thingabout you people-- you're not scared enough. "Not scared enough"? The same reason we can't talkanyone into joining the army. Everyone around hereactually thinks they're safe. Trust me, ana,no one thinks we're safe. So, jack... what's the combo? I was just kidding. (Thunder rumbling) (footsteps, rustling) oh. Vincent. What are you doing out here? (Speaks korean) (thunder rumbling) ohh! (Screaming) oh, man!It's really comin' down! Get under here, freckles! I like the rain! Yeah, me, too, from under here.(Laughs) (sun screaming) what the hell? That's sun. She all right? She's breathing. Go get jack.Go get jack! Okay. Uhh! What happened? Where's jack? Was she conscious at all? Did she say anything?Nothin', not a word. She's okay. She's okay.She's gonna be all right. You need to let me take careof her, all right? Please. How did you find her? I heard her scream,found her out in the jungle about a half a klick from here. She was out cold,and her hands were tied. What do you mean,her hands were tied? They're back.

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>> Closed captioning of this program is brought to you by ctv.Ca, tv that clicks. úú|| They told us they would leave us alone. Well, john, it looks likethey broke their promise. We don't even know what happened.Do we need to know? Where'd you find her? Just outside her garden. We should take a look around with guns. No. "No"? We arm up, we're just as likelyto shoot each other as we are one of them. (Sighs) okay. We'll wait for sun to wake up.She'll tell us what happened. Then we're gonnado something about it. Sounds like a plan. (Kate) they usuallydon't leave any trail. It's worth a look. Let me ask you something. This whole scenariomake sense to you? What do you mean? Well, think about it. First off,how'd she get away? Woman doesn't weigha hundred pounds soakin' wet. She was fightin' for her life.People are capable of almost-- you couldn't get away... and you versus sun,hot-oil death match, my money's on you, sheena. Thanks for your voteof confidence. It's a hood, just likethe one they put over my head. No, it's not. This one's black,different weave. It's all in the details...and they're wrong. Well, if it wasn't them,then who? What are you saying,one of us did it? Who the hell would wantto go after sun? Not much upside in scarin'the crap out of 46 people... unless you're tryin' to con 'eminto joining an army. Those necklaces are junk,sawyer. A 5-year-old could tell that. They ain't gonna belookin' at the necklaces, they gonna be lookin'at the price tags. It's all in the details,dimples. What if we get caught? We ain't gonna get caught. Anybody goes to the cops, only thingthey're gonna remember is a guy who looks likehe's been in a bar fight. You're scared, huh? A little bit. (Chuckles) well, here's the good news,baby-- everybody's scared. And the thingthey're scared of most is missin' an opportunity. This is all they had. 25 bucks. Let's try the onedown the street. Hey. You guys wantto buy some necklaces? Where'd you get 'em?Where do you think? You want tobuy 'em or not? Hell, forget it. (Woman) hey, how much? Hundred apiece. For any of 'em? Yeah, yeah,taster's choice. I'll take the $1,200 oneand the $1,300 one. Thanks. Hey, wait, wait. Hang on, man.I'll buy some of those. Yeah, me, too. (Man) it's dana's birthdaynext week. This is perfect. They love their jewelry. $500, $600, $700. Pulse is good. Strong. You just need to--to watch her. She's gonna be okay, man. That bump on her head-- do you think she fellor that someone hit her? I don't know. Jack, how welldo you know ana lucia? Just... the others...I was out there with you. I heard that man saythat if we stayed away, they'd leave us alone. And we've left them alone. So why would they attack usa few days later? If it wasn't them,then who was it? Like I said,how well do you know ana lucia? ú@Ppxx|| mm-mmm! Hey, honey, what you got there?

Popcorn from

dairy queen. Want to try? Sure. Mmm. It's good, huh? Hey, wait a second. What, what, what? This isn't popcorn, you idiot! It's popcorn shrimp! You know, I knew there was something familiar about it. Hold on... where are the kids? Ahhhh!

The dq popcorn

shrimp basket

with golden breaded

bite-size shrimp.

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And finish off with

a choco cherry love

blizzard treat. (Ana lucia) I got a couple morepeople interested in joining up. Yeah? Who? The big guy who livesbehind sayid and scott. You mean steve.Scott's dead. Scott, steve... the point is,after what happened, people are finallywilling to do something. Where were you this morning? Lots of places. During the rainstorm? You think I had something to dowith sun getting grabbed? Now where would youget an idea like that? (Claire) jack! Jack... sun's awake. Ohh... hey. How's your head? Any pain, dizziness? Just a little bit. Do you remember anything? I was working in my gardenwhen vincent ran up, then it started raining. Then there was a bagover my head, and I was being dragged. How many were there?I don'T... I didn't see anything. (Speaking korean) I kicked and I fought, and I just ranas fast as I could, and then I fell... gun. Gun. Gun. (Jack) relax, okay? You gotta be patient.Patient, okay? Hey, what's going on? Looks like the good folksof islandtown are about to form a posse,get themselves armed up. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if jack didn't findthat horse of yours, start leadin' the chargein a big white hat. (Jack) pull it together... (kate) the guns. This is all her playto get her hands on the guns. Locke--you need to go and tellhim that they're coming.

I need to tell him? (Chuckles) sawyer, please. So what's next? Next? The next play? I'll show youthe pigeon drop. We already did that--twice. And the tulsa bag scamand the looky loo. I want to do a big one. You want to do a big what? A big con. It's called a long con. Okay, a long con. How does it work? It works by gettin' somebodyto ask you to do something like it's their idea,but it's not their idea. It's your idea. (Spits)but none of that matters, 'cause the one thing we needfor the long con we ain't got... money. I have money. Sorry, cassie, 40 grandin some mutual fund ain't money. Remember when I told you that I didn't get anythingfrom the divorce? Mm-hmm. I kinda lied. Kinda lied how much? 600 grand. Well, hell, baby,with that kind of money, let's go find an islandsomewhere and sit on a beach drinkin' mojitos till we go toes up. Sawyer, for the first timein my life, I'm actually happy, and it's not really aboutthe action or the money. It's about doing thiswith you. Come on. One long con? And then the mojitos. (Whispers)I'll think about it. Why don't you think about itin here? Hate to interrupt whateverthe hell it is you're doin'. What are you doin'? I'm alphabetizing. Sure. Sun gets attackedin the jungle. You figure it's a good time to start the damn dewey decimalsystem. Good thinkin'. How can I help you, james? Well, actually, john, I'm here to help you, give you the heads up. Heads up? Seems jack'son his way over here to open your little gun closetand take whatever he needs. You should know he's not alone.Whole camp's pretty shook up about what happenedto tokyo rose. I'm guessin' everybody's gonnawanna play cowboys and indians, and once those gunsare out and about, something tells methey ain't never goin' back in. Why are you telling me this? 'Cause it'll piss off jack. If I were you, I'd change that combination, pronto. But that won't work. The doorwill just slow him down. If jack wants to get in,he'll get in. Will you help me? Help you what? Move the guns. Move 'em where? Fine. You don't wantto trust me? Lots of luck. But I can't leavethe hatch unmanned. Oh, sure. You move the guns,and I'll stay here and push your damn buttonfor you. How long till they get here? Well, that ain't my problem,hoss. It's yours. @@@Ppxx|| but this guy says i should get back into tech. Comb-over here, he says... he says energy. Uh, bonds are okay. They're stable, right? I know I should diversify, I know. Uh, small growth, offshore hedge... mid cap, large cap, ball cap... and I do like the sound of emerging markets, as long as my brain doesn't explode. Jim?

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[ Sighing ] Thank you. And no brain explosions. @@Pp||

(country music playing) steak sandwich... two beers. Thank you. Aw, shucks,you got a beer for me? You want one? Ask the lady. (Chuckles) well, hell, I dowant one, and, um, could I get a plate of chicken salad,white meat only, and please, god, no celery,okay, sweetheart? That's how we make it here,darlin'. So... tell me you got her. Yeah, I got her. All 600 grand? All 6. You fell for her. Oh, come on.You gotta be kidding me. Look, it's got nothin' to do--hey, I found that bitch. Her name is cassidy. Well, I waited six months whileyou and cassidy played house. Now if you think--I ain't doin' it. You know what's makin' youstupid right now? It's your damn hormones. You think you're in love,but you're not. You know, a tiger doesn'tchange his stripes, james. You're a con man,just like me, and it's not what you do,it's what you are. Do I make myself clear? I'm sorry, man.I just can't do it. No, you're gonna do it. Because that girl--she doesn't know you one bit. But when she finds outwho you are, who you really are, she's gonna hate your guts. Yeah, well... (sighs) enjoy your chicken salad,gordy. Wait a minute.You don't walk away now. You owe me. You don't want to pay me? I'll put one in your ear,james... you and your little friendcassidy. (Beeping) what are you doing here? One second.I'm, like, this close to the high scoreon "donkey kong." (Speaking korean) (taps keyboard) now... what can I do you for? Where's locke? I don't know.I think he said something about going to the storefor a pack of smokes. Uh-oh, looks likewe got ourselves a theft. Who's gonna call the cops?Where are they? Don't look at me.I was just pushin' a button. (Unscrews pill bottle cap) oh, yeah.I believe these are yours. No. Sawyer... (speaks korean) john... where are they? You moved the guns.Where are they? We had an agreement! An agreement that you wereabout to violate, jack. Yes, I moved the guns. Where? Where? Where, john? Oh, are you gonna starthandin' 'em out? How many? Who gets 'em? How much time before there'san accident--another accident? I made a mistaketeaching michael how to shoot. Now he'S... he could be deadfor all I know, and that--that--that was my fault. I take responsibilityfor that, and so, yes, I'm taking responsibilityfor the guns. I want two guns, john! I'm sorry, jack, that's the wayit's gonna be, jack. Two guns. Tell me where they are right now!(Gunshots) you gave him the guns? No. I hid them. That's right, jack.He's as stupid as you are. You two were so busyworryin' about each other, you never even saw me comin',did ya? So how 'bout you listen up? 'Cause I'm only gonnasay this once. You took my stuff. While I was offtryin' to get us help, get us rescued, you found my stash,and you took it, divvied it up-- my shaving cream,my batteries... even my beer. And then somethin' elsehappened. You decidedthese two boys here were gonna tell youwhat to do and when to do it. Well, I'm done taking orders. And I don't wantmy stuff back. Shaving cream don't matter. Batteries don't matter. Only thing that matters now... are guns... and if you want one, you're gonna haveto come to me to get it! Oh, you want to torture me,don't ya? Show everybodyhow civilized you are. Go ahead. But I'll diebefore I give 'em back. And then you'll reallybe screwed, won't you? There's a new sheriffin town, boys. Y'all best get used to it. @úPpxx|| parents in mill woods are on edge after 3 attempted abductions. The latest happened today to a 10 year old just steps from his school. And: A wild ride for a man trying to stop someone from ho arethese for? Oh, that one's for my niece maggie.

[ Recorded voice ] Hug me, squeeze me. It's perfect. And the other one is for antonio. Your aerobics instructor? Yeah. Great.

[ ]

When you can find all

the ways you need

to say

happy valentine's day...

[ Recorded purring ]

You're in a good place. Grr.

The wild about you bunch.

Buy any or all

for $9.95 each

when you buy three cards.

Only at today's - (door opens) what's goin' on?Where were you? Sawyer, what happened? (Sawyer) you see that black car?(Cassidy) who is it? His name's gordy-- my partner.What partner? If I don't walk out the frontdoor with that briefcase in the next two minutes,we're both dead. What happened? That's the guyfrom the mercado deal? There is no mercado deal! I knew about the 600 grand youhad tucked away from the get-go. Cass...

you were the long con. (Gasps) son of A... go to hell! Go to hell! You gotta understand--no! Everything that's happenedbetween us in the past six months,all of it--it was real. Get out. You get out! Listen, you can hate meall you want later, but right nowyou gotta listen to me. He's gonna kill us, 'cause I told him I wasn'tgonna take your money. Oh, my god. Look, let's just... okay. This is what we're gonna do-- I want you to go out backthrough evan's yard. There's a rental carparked out front. Go to sioux city. I want you to check inthe sage flower motel. It's off highway 29. Watch tv, have a drink. Wait for me.I'll be there in the A.M., And it'll all be over.Let me just pack a few-- there's no time. Hey, remember when you saidI was all you ever wanted? Well, now you know better. I love you. I love you, too. (Whispers) go. Go. How'd you do it? How'd I do what? Locke said thathe left you in the hatch when he went to hide the guns, and we both knowyou can't track worth a damn. So how'd you get them? A magician never tellshis secrets. You played us. You played me. All that stuff you saidabout ana lucia-- you knew I wouldgo to jack, and you knew I'd ask youto go to locke. Now how in the worldwould I know all that? Did you have anythingto do with sun? What kind of a personyou think I am? What kind of a persondo I think you are? I don't think this hasanything to do with guns or with gettingyour stash back. I think you want peopleto hate you. Good thing you don't hate me,freckles. Why do you have to do this? You run, I con. A tigerdon't change his stripes. (Sighs) hey, check this out-- I found a manuscriptin one of the suitcases. It's like a mystery book. I want to show you something. Cool! You fixed it! We'll see. Hold on to this. Don't expect anything. The chances of getting a signalare slim at best.

(Static) static's good, right? No. Reception is good.

(Woman speaking french) wait, what's that?! It's rousseau's signal. Ah, crap. But this radiohas a wider bandwidth.

(Static)

(music note plays) hold it! Stop!Do you hear that?!

(Man) that was the...

just a-settin'...

(static)

duke ellington orchestra

featuring cootie... trumpet.

Up next on wx...

the glenn miller orchestra with "moonlight serenade."

("Moonlight serenade" playing clearly) whoa. You hear how clear that is? It's gotta be close, right? Radio waves at this frequencybounce off the ionosphere. They can travelthousands of miles. It could be comingfrom anywhere. Or any time. Just kiddin', dude.

(Song continues)

(static) he never saw you, huh? No. He was more worried abouthis sodding guns than being followed. Hmm. Figured you'd wantyour friends back. If I wanted them,I would have taken them before I told youwhere they were. That's not why I did it. It's not, huh? I wanted himto look like a fool, to feel like a fool. Well, well. Looks like johnny locke'sgot himself a nemesis. Sun can never find outwhat I did to her. Never. Don't sweat it. They got bigger thingsto worry about now. Sawyer... this idea... all of this, what we did-- what made you... how does someone thinkof something like that? (Whispers) now go. One mississippi... two mississippi... three mississippi... four mississippi... five mississippi... I'm not a good person,charlie. Never did a good thingin my life. Captioning provided by touchstone television, abc, inc. And ford motor co.-- Built for the road ahead. Captioned by closed captioning services, inc.

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