Pilot, Part 1 - Legends of Tomorrow Favorite Quotes From The TV MegaSite

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Pilot, Part 1

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Season One:

Pilot, Part One

Rip: Set a course. United States. Star City. January, 2016.

Gideon: Ah, the early second millennium A.D. The golden age of gasoline engines, online pornography, and those silly little smartphones.

Ray: Huh, someone removed the central processing unit.

Felicity: Are you sure?

Ray: I designed the computer's CPU, so, yeah, pretty sure.

Felicity: Well, HIVE would only remove it if they knew...

Ray: You had me shrink down and fly into their secret computer lab? My night's about to get a whole lot worse, isn't it?

Felicity: Oh, you can take them.

Ray: They have guns.

Felicity: You have a super-suit.

Carter: Your flying is still clumsy, like a bird just out of the nest...

Kendra: Well maybe that's because up until two months ago, I was a barista, not some damn winged demi-goddess.

Rip: Have you two considered couples counseling? I hear it's quite popular in this century.

Mick: Ah, fry, you little piggies! A minivan? Really, Snart?

Snart: Cops'll never hassle a dad buying diapers in the middle of the night.

Rip: I've been tasked with assembling an elite team to stop him.

How?

Rip: To travel through time. To capture Savage before he grows into the monster he becomes.

Mick: You got the wrong guy. "Hero" ain't on my resume.

Rip: You're legends.

Legends?

I, um, I hate to nitpick, but doesn't a legend have to be dead?

Yeah, see, uh, that's a deal breaker for me, so I'm gonna pass.

Laurel: I remember when you told Mom and Dad that you wanted to go to sleepaway camp.

Sara: This'll be a little different.

Mick: I can't believe you're thinking of hooking up with the Englishman. We're thieves. Crooks. Criminals. I have no desire to save the world. Especially 100 years after I'm dead.

Leonard: He said across time, Mick. What about the years before? Before fingerprints and surveillance cameras and DNA analysis. Why did we become criminals?

Mick: Because we hate working and we love money.

Leonard: We could steal the Mona Lisa straight off Da Vinci's easel, snatch the Hope Diamond before it was discovered. This is everything we got into thieving for in the first place. More than everything.

Mick: You want me in, I'm in. But I'm not gonna be anyone's hero.

Mick: Whatever you roofied him with, I'd like some.

Martin: I did not roofie him.

Mick: Oh, I ain't judging.

Time travel. Cool.

Rip: Some of you may experience some slight discomfort. In very rare instances, there will be some, uh, bleeding from the eyeballs.

I'm sorry, what?

Rip: This mission doesn't require your particular skill set. Yet.

Meaning you don't need anyone killed, maimed, or robbed.

Rip: Precisely.

Stein: Are you coming?

Jax: I'll stay put.

Stein: You'd rather stay with them?

Jax: They didn't drug me.

Stein: Point taken.

Mick: Why does this stupid station play nothing but reruns?

Don't even bother trying to explain.

Am I the only one on this ship who could really use a drink? I say we go get weird in the '70s.

Excellent idea. I got the perfect outfit.

Gideon: Perhaps Captain Hunter was unclear with his instructions to remain onboard.

Shut it, metal mouth.

Ah. Dollar beers. You got to love the '70s.

Who wants to listen to some Captain and Tennille? My mother played it. A lot. [grunts]

["Love Will Keep Us Together" plays]

Wow, you guys are really far out.

Leonard Snart: We go out for one lousy drink, and you guys somehow manage to pick a fight with Boba Fett.

Martin Stein: A time limbo? Astonishing.

Rip: Oh, there's something you people don't know about time travel? That's surprising, isn't it? Considering none of you have ever time traveled before. Bringing a family member from the past onto a timeship? Breaking out and carousing around the 1970s? We've barely begun, and already this is the worst, unmitigated disaster of my career.

Rip: [Sighs] What do you think, Gideon?

Gideon: I calculate a less than 6% likelihood that they decide to go on with the mission.

Rip: I meant about the repairs.

Gideon: And there has been another unfortunate consequence of Chronos's attack. Care to hear about it?

Rip: Not really.