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"Meeting a Rock Star"

by Suzanne

All: Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!

[Alarm buzzing]

Singer: Sun's up, open my eyes, close up, the pressure's on the inside, I know I may not get this chance again

Loren: Back at ya, beautiful. [Chuckles] Hey, Mom.

Nora: Hi, sweetie. It's time to get up.

Loren: I'm trying. I was just having the best dream and I wanna go back to it.

Nora: Oh, do you want me to call the school, tell 'em you have 102 fever so you can stay in bed all day? I am such a terrible parent.

Loren: Oh, the worst.

Nora: Oh! [Gasps] Hey, you ditch school, I'll ditch work, and we'll drive up to Santa Barbara and we'll go to that--we'll have those amazing tacos at Super Rica for lunch.

Loren: Oh, I want to, I want to, but I can't. I already told Mel that I'd pick her up and we'd go to school together.

Nora: Oh. Well, she can come, too.

Loren: With my luck, we'd get there and I'd have car trouble and we wouldn't make it back in time for you-know-what.

Nora: Wait, so just to be clear, when we talk about you-know-what, we're talking about this, right?

Flight Attendant: Anything else for you, Mr. Duran?

Eddie: Naw, I'm good, thanks. And I thought I told you, call me Eddie.

Flight Attendant: Okay, Eddie.

Chloe: [Mocking] "Okay, Eddie."

Eddie: Oh, come on. She just likes my smile.

Chloe: Oh, everybody likes your smile.

Jake: Yeah, especially women like that. Remember, they paid for this private jet.

Chloe: And if we were flying commercial, I'd have to fight them all off.

Jake: Plus, they made your first two albums platinum.

Eddie: Right, no, it wasn't, like, the good music or the constant touring or anything.

Jake: Well, yeah, but who listens to those great songs? Right? Who packs the houses on tour?

Eddie: The fans, Jake, the fans.

Jake: See, I'm always right.

Eddie: And that's why I'm with you, dog. Because you are the number one manager.

Jake: To the number one star.

Eddie: With the number one girlfriend.

Chloe: Hmmm.

[Pop music]

Singer:  Whoa-oh-oh I can feel my heart beat whoa-oh-oh I know you want no repeats I know I'm gonna make it somehow because my time is now

Lisa: Good morning.

Melissa: Hi, Mom.

Lisa: How'd you sleep?

Melissa: Great. You?

Lisa: Not great. My back's been killing me.

Melissa: I'm sorry.

Lisa: So is that what you're wearing today?

Melissa: What's wrong with it?

Lisa: It's a little intense, don't you think?

Melissa: It makes a statement.

Lisa: What statement would that be?

Melissa: I'm loud, I'm proud, keep up.

Lisa: More like, "Look at me. I'm desperate for attention."

Melissa: Do we have to go through this argument every time I put together an outfit? I like my style. Like you know what's fashion forward these days.

Lisa: I'm not sure that you do either, Melissa.

[Phone rings]

Melissa: Gotta go. Loren's almost here.

Lisa: She shouldn't be texting and driving.

Melissa: She probably did it at a stop light. She's the quiet, smart, responsible one, remember? And I'm the crazy one wearing the outrageous clothes screaming, "Everybody look at me! Watch out, world, cover your eyes."

Lisa: Well, come home straight from school today. There's a ton of chores I need you to do.

Melissa: I can come home for a little bit, but I can't stay for very long. Loren and I have this important project to do. Super important. Has to be today.

Lisa: What project? When's it due? Why does it have to be today?

Melissa: I'll talk to you about it later. Gotta go. Bye.

[Horn beeps]

[Door closes]

Melissa: Hey!

Loren: Hey. I don't know how I'm gonna make it through today. All I can do is think about the concert.

Melissa: Okay, deep breaths, Loren. Slow and smooth.

Loren: For the next eight hours?

Melissa: Yes. Just do it with me, come on. Deep breath in.

Loren: Okay, all right.

Melissa: And out.

Loren: [Exhales]

Melissa: [Whimpers] I can't focus. Thank god for this concert tonight.

Loren: Oh, your mom again?

Melissa: Yeah, the usual. You know, I think she actually secretly enjoys making my life miserable. You think there's, like, a support group for that? Like, children whose moms actually enjoy making their lives a living hell?

Loren: I mean, it is L.A.--There's a support group for everything.

Melissa: Sign me up. [Chants] I will not let Lisa spoil this fantastic day.

[Car engine sputters]

Melissa: And then that happened.

Loren: I know, don't worry. It's just 'cause I honked when I pulled up. It just takes a little finesse, one sec.

Melissa: Okay, well you better finesse it enough to get us to the Avalon tonight. We have to take your car, Loren, 'cause my hunk of junk is a definite no-no.

[Engine starts]

Melissa: Ah, see, magic touch.

Loren: Okay, good job. Pedal to the metal. The sooner we get to school, the sooner we'll get through it. And the closer we are to the greatest night on earth.

Both: Seeing Eddie Duran!

Eddie: I'm so psyched for tonight. I love that we're ending the tour back here.

Jake: Los Angeles is too, man. People are already camping outside in front of the Avalon waiting. We should have done two nights.

Eddie: Oh--relax, okay? I'm gonna do this last show, and then I need a little break.

Jake: It's all about momentum, man. The big mo, come on. We gotta keep going, dude. Nobody's hotter than you.

Chloe: Ooh, he's right about that.

Eddie: Okay.

Jake: Look. I promise you'll get some time off, all right? A couple of weeks. Recharge, fill up the creative tank and then we're back to making the next amazing multi-platinum album.

Chloe: How about a couple months? He's exhausted.

Jake: Nah, he looks fine to me.

Eddie: [Chuckles] Dude, I'm not about to complain about anything, but...

[Phone beeps]

Eddie: I'm running on fumes.

Jake: You're up for tonight though, right?

Eddie: Are you crazy? Of course. Come on, family, friends, fans. I can't wait.

Jake: That's what I like to hear.

Eddie: So, babe, what do you wanna do? You wanna go straight to the theater with us? You wanna go home?

Chloe: Ugh, no choice now.

Eddie: Why, what's wrong?

Chloe: My call time for my photo shoot tomorrow got bumped up to 5:00 A.M.

Eddie: Oh, guess that means no sleep for you tonight.

Chloe: Oh, and it means that my fitting got moved to now. They're meeting me at my apartment in an hour.

Eddie: What? How long is it gonna take?

Chloe: A few outfit changes. I don't know, maybe a couple of hours?

Eddie: Hey, it's not gonna give you enough time to make the show.

Chloe: I know.

Eddie: But you have to. It's my last one.

Chloe: You know that I wanna be there more than anything in the whole world, but this photo shoot, it's a big one for me. For my career.

Eddie: I know. And I'm not trying to make it sound small or anything, but I don't know, I just play a better show when you're there.

Jake: You know, I hate to admit it, but it's true. He does.

Chloe: [Chuckles] Well, I will do whatever I can to be there. One way or another, I promise I'll push 'em to be fast.

Eddie: Do that. That's my girl.

Melissa: We can't take any chances that happens tonight. I mean, this is just school we're late for, but we can't miss a second of Eddie.

Loren: Yeah, you're right, okay, we won't take my car. Your car's worse.

Melissa: I know. We can take my mom's car.

Loren: Seeing the love of my life in concert depends on an act of random kindness from your mother? We might as well just steal a car.

Melissa: I like where your head's at.

[All cheering]

All: Eddie! Eddie! Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!

Eddie: Thought this was supposed to be a low-key homecoming.

Jake: Yeah, I guess word leaked.

Eddie: [Chuckles]

Jake: Come on, Eddie, let's get going. We're already behind schedule.

Eddie: Oh, come on, Jake. You've always told me to take time for my fans, right?

[Girls cheering]

Loren: Where are the tickets? Do you have them on you?

Melissa: The tickets?

Loren: Yeah, let me see 'em.

Melissa: Uh...I don't have them.

Loren: What do you mean you don't have them?

Melissa: Yet. Don't worry. They're as good as in my hands.

[Bell rings]

[Bell rings]

Loren: Is it the money? Do we need to pay more? 'Cause I will work extra hours at the coffee shop right up until the show starts. I don't care.

Melissa: Scalping tickets isn't easy.

Loren: I thought you said your connection was solid. It's not a Craigslist thing, is it?

Melissa: No. Our scalper actually made it to school today, so I'll probably have them this afternoon.

Loren: Wait. Probably?

Melissa: Trust, Loren. You've got to trust.

Loren: When it comes to Eddie, I trust no one. We've been waiting for this concert for six months, Mel. You could say we've been waiting 18 years. That's how important tonight is and you say we'll probably get the tick--

Melissa: Loren? Mighty Mel came through.

Loren: Oh, my god. Is that them? Melissa, I love you.

Melissa: Oh, I love me too. I just had to get your reaction on tape. Oh, that's going online right away.

Loren: Oh, my god.

[Bell rings]

Melissa: Okay, I'll pick you up at 7:00?

Loren: Yeah, sounds good.

Melissa: Actually, let's make it 6:30. I'll need time to create a look for you.

Loren: What's wrong with what I'm wearing?

Melissa: I'll be there at 6:00.

Phil: Watch it.

Melissa: Ow! What's your problem? Of course it's you.

Phil: Look, I know that you're probably blind from wearing that shirt all day, but would you mind watching where you're going?

Melissa: I'm sorry, Phil. Never expected to run into you here. In school.

Phil: Oh...

Melissa: Are you here today because your probation officer is visiting?

Phil: Hilarious, Mel.

Melissa: I know.

Phil: Keep yapping, I'm gonna tell Mom and Dad what you two are up to tonight.

Melissa: Oh, yeah? Do Mom and Dad know you're on the once-a-week attendance plan? Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep walking, yappy.

Loren: See you tonight.

Melissa: Okay, bye.

Loren: Bye.

Adriana: He was just like, "whatever."

Phil: What's up, babe?

Adriana: Hey, babe. I thought you had detench.

Phil: Talked my way out of it.

Adriana: Again? Oh, my god, you know, you're smooth as milk.

Phil: "Silk." Smooth as "silk."

Adriana: Oh. Whatevs. You know, I'm so sick of this day. Everyone's been talking about that Eddie Duran concert. My dad can't get me tickets. It's like he doesn't even care about me.

Phil: Why would you ask an old guy like that to score you tickets?

Adriana: Sometimes he has connections.

Phil: Has he got connections like these?

Adriana: [Gasps]

Phil: I guess you can go with me.

Adriana: Oh, my god. Boyfriend of the year. You always get me exactly what I want.

Phil: And it's a full-time job.

Nora: Uh, there's no numbers on these tickets.

Loren: Mom, that's the best part about the show. It's general admission.

Nora: Oh.

Loren: Normally he plays arenas, but this is a special night at the Avalon.

Nora: Ah.

Loren: And we're on the floor right up front.

Nora: Oh, you need to be careful, honey. It can get really rough up there.

Loren: Mom, I could be this close to him tonight. I hope he plays all the songs off his second album. I mean, I do love the first one, but you know how some artists suffer that sophomore slump?

Nora: Yeah, I hate that.

Loren: Yeah, but not Eddie. His second album's actually stronger. I can't believe it's tonight.

Nora: After all the extra hours you put in at the coffee shop, you deserve it.

Loren: Thank you.

Nora: Oh, my god, I can remember being your age and being just as excited about seeing--

Loren: Eddie's parents, Max and Katie. Yeah, I think I heard that one before.

Nora: Well, you're gonna hear it again, okay?

Loren: Okay.

Nora: I wanted to be Katie so badly. I mean, she had this wild '80s hair and these fiery eyes, and of course, she was married to Max.

Loren: Max, yes. I mean, I can totally see where Eddie gets his good looks. But musically, he's gone way past his mom and dad.

Nora: You are so wrong.

Loren: What? No.

Nora: This must be one of those generational divides. Wow.

Loren: You know what, it's okay. We're supposed to like different music.

Nora: Well, I bet I would love the songs you write if you would ever let me hear any of them.

Loren: My stuff's a work in progress. I'm still learning. Did you know Eddie played the jazz piano when he was just five?

Nora: Is there anything about Eddie you don't know?

Loren: Uh, his cell phone number, but I'm working on that.

Nora: [Laughs]

Loren: I wish you could come tonight.

Nora: I know, it'd be great. I'd love to hear all the kids saying, "Who brought the old lady?"

Loren: I don't think so. You'd probably get a couple of hot dates out of it.

Nora: Well, speaking of which, I already have plans tonight.

Loren: Wait, plans? A date?

Nora: I know, I can't believe it either. It's been forever.

Loren: Wait, hold on, details.

Nora: I know, I know, I gotta go get ready. I gotta get ready.

Loren: Wha--

Nora: I got things to do.

Lisa: Phil, honey, you don't have to do that.

Phil: It's called division of labor, Mom. You shop, I unload, Dad cooks, Melissa...eats?

Lisa: Come on, Phil, be nice.

Phil: Hey, Mom, can I borrow the car tonight?

Lisa: Where you going?

Phil: Adriana's. Homework.

Lisa: Okay, be home by 11:00.

Melissa: Mom, remember you said I could use your car tonight?

Lisa: Remind me why you need it?

Melissa: Mine's been acting weird. I think the brakes are broken. And I've got that art project to do with Loren, remember?

Lisa: I already promised Phil because his is in the shop. Besides, can't you girls do your project online?

Melissa: We're supposed to photograph and document street art around L.A.ourselves, not copy and paste from Google. I wanna get a grade that's close to the beginning of the alphabet.

Lisa: Well, you should have taken care of this on the weekend.

Phil: Thanks, Mom. You're the best.

Melissa: How come you let Phil do pretty much anything he wants, whenever he wants?

Lisa: He's 19.

Melissa: And yet still in the same grade as me. He should be rewarded for this?

Lisa: He was left behind because of a couple bad teachers.

Melissa: Terrible teachers who demanded he study and learn.

Lisa: Careful, Melissa.

Gus: How are my best gals?

Lisa: Hi, honey.

Gus: What's going on?

Melissa: I've got a school project tonight to do with Loren and Mom won't let me go.

Gus: I'm sure your mom has a good reason--

Lisa: I didn't say she couldn't go. It's not my fault you don't take care of your car. Tell Loren to come here.

Melissa: You guys want me to keep my grades up. I'm trying to do that, but I'm not getting any support.

Gus: Okay, how about this for a solution? You can take my car...

Lisa: Gus!

Gus: And you will be home by 11:00.

Lisa: You'll be home by 10:00.

Melissa: Thanks, Dad. You rock. Do you think I could get 20 bucks? For art supplies?

Tyler: I'm telling you that's not how it went down. I don't care if he said I was lying because I know how it shook out. The director was an idiot. What matters is that I'm available now, so get me some auditions. Good ones this time. I gotta work, bro.

[Hard rock music playing]

Announcer: And in the world of music, L.A.'s own Eddie Duran is finally back home...

Tyler: [Scoffs]

Announcer: After a hugely successful tour. He makes his triumphant return tonight for one last show. Ladies, if you have any interest in going, don't bother. It's been sold out for months. Sports is coming up next.

Tyler: Yeah. Too bad he sucks.

Jake: Okay, that's enough for now, guys.

Photographer #1: Eddie, Chloe, one last shot!

Eddie: Sure.

Photographer #2: Hey, so how serious are you guys? Have you set a wedding date yet?

Chloe: [Giggles]

Eddie: Uh... a wedding date? I barely know you. At least take me out to dinner first. Thanks, guys. Thank you. Where do they come up with this stuff?

Chloe: Let's tell them it's true. See what they do.

Eddie: That we're getting married?

Chloe: Yeah.

Eddie: Yeah. Great.

[Piano plays]

Loren: Falling like I'm... falling like the stars... falling like the sun--

[Door opens]

Melissa: Bet those terrorist prisoners in the Gitmo have more rights than I do.

Loren: What'd she do this time?

Melissa: I swear, she treats me like I'm going on a crime spree.

Loren: Mm.

Melissa: Luckily, my dad came through for me...again.

Loren: Yeah, he's definitely on your side.

[Keyboard beeps]

Melissa: How come you never let me hear you sing?

Loren: You've heard me sing.

Melissa: Singing along to Katy Perry in the car doesn't count. We all sound good then.

Loren: Yeah, see, I like how I sound then, but get me up in front of a group of people and--I'm getting queasy just thinking about it.

Melissa: Let me be your J-Lo. I'll be honest! If it's a little pitchy, dog, I'll tell you.

Loren: I don't really enjoy singing, okay?

Melissa: You are such a liar. You're dying to be a singer.

Loren: I like to write songs. That doesn't mean I like to get up in front of a bunch of people and belt it out and--

Melissa: Okay. The best way for a songwriter to get their songs heard is to sing them themselves. Adele said that on 60 Minutes.

Loren: Oh, Adele said that? Of course she can say that. She's got a voice that makes everybody wanna cry. All she has to do is clear her throat and people start to tear up.

Melissa: You could do that too, I know it.

Loren: Mel, you know how many talented wannabes are out there? More than I can count. It's impossible.

Melissa: If I had your gift, I'd never give up, no matter what.

Loren: I'm just gonna go to college, you know? Focus on a fallback. Dreams won't put a roof over my head.

Melissa: What country western song did you steal that from? Faith Hill? Shania Twain?

Loren: Dreams won't put a roof over my head...

Melissa: You can sing.

Loren: Oh.

Melissa: No, I--that gave me chills, Loren. I--you might not believe this, Lo, but with your gift, you could make it. You could be on posters like that someday. You could be a star.

Jake: Hey, Traci, it's me. Sorry I missed your call. We're on our way to the Avalon. I'll call you after the show. And I was kinda hoping we could start with dessert. You feel me? I love you, baby.

Eddie: Go home to her.

Jake: [Chuckles]

Eddie: Jake, I can handle things without you. I've been doing this concert thing for a while now.

Jake: I'm not missing your last concert, all right? Tracy understands that.

Chloe: And she's not even a little bit jealous about all the time you spend with Eddie?

Jake: No, she's the one who encouraged me to leave the talent agency and open up my own management company.

Chloe: But she didn't think you two would be spending weeks apart while you gallivant around the world with one client.

Jake: She's got her own graphic design thing going on. She works long hours too. She gets it. And I have to spend a lot of time with my most important client.

Chloe: Aw, you two make such a cute couple. Maybe you should marry him, Eddie.

Traci: Look, I'll handle it first thing in the morning. I'll give you something to look at by 10:00 A.M. All right, thanks. Bye.

[Phone beeps]

Traci: [Sighs] Ugh.

[Phone line rings]

Traci: [Sighs]

Jake's voice: Hi, this is Jake. Leave a message.

[Beep]

Traci: Hey, baby, it's me. Guess we're playing phone tag. I just want to let you know that dinner will be ready when you get here, but I ain't serving it before dessert. [Chuckles] I love you.

[Phone beeps]

Melissa: [Sighs] This is gonna be harder than I thought. It's like your wardrobe's from that old Reese Witherspoon movie in black and white where Spiderman's her brother.

Loren: Pleasantville. I love that movie.

Melissa: Yeah, all the girls had pointy bras. I totally expect to find a pointy bra in here.

Loren: Just don't pick out something that's gonna draw too much attention, okay? I wouldn't want to detract from you.

Melissa: Oh, if only you gave me something to work with. [Gasps] Wait. I found it. Perfect.

Loren: No way.

Melissa: Trust me, if this doesn't get you noticed by Eddie, nothing will.

Jake: That photo op at the airport took a lot longer than I thought. Hope you're not late to your own concert.

Eddie: Will you chill, all right? The sooner we drop off Chloe, the sooner she gets through her fitting, and then she can get to the show.

Chloe: Exactly.

Eddie: Exactly.

Jake: It's not like she's never been to your show before, man. She was at the last gig, remember? We sent a jet for her.

Eddie: Yeah, and before she gets all super famous and starts booking supermodeling jobs in Tokyo and Milan...

Chloe:  Mm-hmm.

Eddie: I want her with me, you know? As much as possible.

Chloe: [Chuckles]

Melissa: [Vocalizing]

Loren: [Gasps] Mom!

Nora: [Laughs]  Eh?

Loren: Oh, my god.

Nora: Well, what do you think?

Melissa: Wow, you're a M.I.L.T.T.M.S. A mother I'd like to take me shopping. Style and taste clearly do not run in the family.

Nora: Okay, Loren has other priorities. And listen, normally, I'm a hoodie-and-yoga-pants girl myself, but--

Loren: yeah, but Mom's got a date tonight.

Melissa: Wow. Nora, slow down. Didn't you just go out to dinner with that banker, like, three years ago? You're gonna get a reputation.

Loren: Mel.

Nora: No, no, she's right. It does feel like an eternity since I've been on a date.

Melissa: So is he hunky and gorgeous? Did you background-check him?

Nora: Okay, slow down. It's a first date. But, yes, his internet search came up clean.

Loren: Okay.

Melissa: How'd you meet?

Nora: Yoga class.

Melissa: Ooh. The sweaty Bikram kind, where you can't help but breathe in everyone else's scents? [Gasps] And I bet his manly musk stood out, which is why you're attracted to him, right? Or is it his flexibility?

Loren: Oh, my god.

Nora: [Laughs] He had a cute smile. Is she like this with all your dates?

Melissa: What dates?

Loren: Okay, she's a little bit hyper today, Eddie Duran and all. But, Mom, I think it's great, and whatever happens, it's a great first step.

Nora: Aw, thank you, sweetie.

Loren: Just be home by 10:00 now, okay?

Nora: Oh, a curfew?

Loren: Mm-hmm.

Nora: Okay, can you make it 9:00? 'Cause I have to work tomorrow.

Loren: Okay.

[Laughter]

Nora: Okay. I'm going to go get ready.

Melissa: You look great.

Nora: I love you. You guys be careful.

Loren: Bye, I love you.

Nora: And have so much fun!

Loren: You have fun.

Melissa: All right, you have fun.

Nora: All right, good night.

Melissa: Bye.

Melissa: How cool is your mom? I really hope this guy can keep her warm at night when you go to college in the fall.

Loren: Keep her warm? You-- you realize that I don't sleep in the same bed with her. She's not gonna be any colder when I leave, right?

Melissa: Yeah, but she'll be lonely. The coldest cold of them all.

Loren: Yeah, I know, I hate that. Makes it hard to even think about leaving.

Melissa: [Scoffs] Not me. Can't wait to escape Lisa's iron grip.

Loren: Stop calling your mom "Lisa."

Melissa: The word "Mother" catches in my throat.

Loren: Well, maybe she would be a little bit more lenient if you weren't always sneaking around and deceiving her. Why not just be honest with her?

Melissa: Because then I'd have to admit that I actually go out and have fun. She's a fun vacuum. She sees anyone enjoying themselves, and she swoops in and sucks up all the fun.

Loren: You're almost 18, and she treats you like you're 12. It's time you stood up to her.

Melissa: I will. Tomorrow.

Lisa: I think she's lying, Gus.

Gus: About what?

Lisa: Tonight. Where she is, everything.

Gus: Teenagers have secret lives, honey. We did.

Lisa: But you know why I worry.

Gus: I do. I say we give our daughter the benefit of the doubt.
 

Adriana: Hi, Dad.

Don: Where you going dressed like that?

Adriana: Out.

Don: Where?

Adriana: To a concert at the Avalon. Eddie Duran.

Don: Who?

Adriana: He's a singer. You wouldn't know about him. You're way too old.

Don: Why didn't you tell me you were going out?

Adriana: Well, when do I ever?

Don: That's what I'm saying. Who all is going to this concert?

Adriana: It's just me, Nicole, and Brooke.

Don: The three stooges?

Adriana: What? F.Y.I., Dad, it's only an insult when I know who you're talking about.

Don: I want you home by 10:00.

Adriana: That's not gonna happen because the concert starts at 8:00, and it's all the way out in Hollywood.

Don: And it's a school night. 11:00 then, no later.

Adriana: [Sighs] Fine. Oh, can I have some money? You know, T-shirts and posters. So are you going out tonight?

Don: Negative, I'll be here all evening. I have a busy day tomorrow, so don't even think about bringing somebody over here afterward.

Adriana: That's too bad. I guess Phil will just have to sneak in through my window again.

Don: Don't test me, Adriana. I can only pretend to be amused by your humor for so long.

Adriana: [Scoffs] When have you ever pretended to be amused by anything that I say?

[Car horn honks]

Adriana: That's my ride, Dad.

[Rock music blaring]

Don: That's Phil.

Adriana: Hmm, I wonder why he's here.

Don: Adriana.

Adriana: Okay, I know that I lied to you. I just didn't want to upset you.

Don: You call him your so-called boyfriend. He won't even come into the house and talk to me.

Adriana: You scare him.

Don: He should scare you.

Adriana: [Laughs] Please. Phil? He's a cute, sweet puppy dog.

Don: Well, I don't trust that little doggy.

Adriana: Yeah, you're my dad. You're not supposed to.

Don: I'm not happy about this.

Adriana: I know.

Phil: You realize that your dad is staring at us from the door, don't you?

Adriana: Of course. That's why I kissed you.

Phil: The only reason why?

Adriana: No, just the second most important one.

Phil: So now he knows that you're with me tonight.

Adriana: Yeah, I tried lying about that, but it didn't work out so well.

Phil: I'm sure he's thrilled.

Adriana: [Chuckles] Whatevs.

Phil: I will admit, I am a little afraid of a guy that works with scalpels all day.

Adriana: [Laughs]

Phil: Wow. You look hot.

Adriana: I know. [Squeals] I can't believe we're gonna go see Eddie Duran!

Phil: Neither can I.

Adriana: Stop. Okay, you're going to have a much funner time than you think.

Phil: Yeah, I know that. Much funner.

Adriana: Mm-hmm.

Phil: Besides, if I get bored, I'll just stare at your legs.

Adriana: Stare all you want, just not at other people, understand?

Phil: Why would I even want to?

Adriana: Come on, let's go. I don't want to be late.

Eddie: So I'll see you at the Avalon.

Chloe: I will try my best to get there.

Eddie: Oh, you better. You're my good luck charm.

Chloe: [Chuckles]

Jake: Good.

Chloe: Mmm.

Jake: No, it's non-negotiable. That's fine.

Chloe: I would love to continue this, but--

Eddie: I have to save my strength for the show.

Chloe: Exactly.

Eddie: Ugh.

Chloe: Bye.

[Car drives off]

Tyler: Hey, baby. Welcome home.

[Rock music]

Singer: Whoo!  I can do it  there's nothing to it  jump right through it

Loren: Can't believe you convinced me to wear these heels.

Melissa: You want to be able to see his face over the masses, don't you?

Loren: I'm still in shock we're here.

Melissa: I know.

Loren: Eddie Duran's in Hollywood.

Melissa: Pretty cool, huh? I'm getting it all for our archives.

Loren: I feel so chic.

Melissa: Nobody says "chic" anymore, Lo. You brought the tickets, right?

Loren: You said you had the tickets.

Melissa: [Laughs] You're so easy.

Loren: You're so mean. I'm gonna kill you.

Melissa: I'm sorry.

Loren: Okay, go.

Melissa: Okay. Ba-bam.

[Beeping]

Man: These aren't valid.

Melissa: [Laughs] What do you mean, they're not valid?

Man: Machine's not reading them.

Melissa: That's impossible.

Loren: I see what's going on here. Really, Mel? You've got this guy in on it too? She's been playing jokes all day, don't--

Melissa: No, this isn't a joke. Scan them again.

[Beeping]

Man: Nope.

Melissa: Please tell me this isn't happening.

Gus: What are you doing?

Lisa: Just putting away laundry.

Gus: And going through her things.

Lisa: I'm just making sure she's not hiding anything.

Gus: Lisa, get out of there. I'm sure she's not hiding contraband in her sock drawer.

Lisa: Why are you so cavalier about this?

Gus: Because I know Mel. She can't keep a secret or hide anything. The girl's an open book that never closes.

Lisa: What if she's drinking? Or drugs?

Gus: We would be able to tell.

Lisa: She has got you wrapped around her little finger.

Gus: I am trusting, honey, not gullible. And I wish you would stop being so paranoid.

Lisa: Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean she's not up to something.

Gus: [Scoffs]

[Rock music]

Loren: This is plan "b"?

Melissa: If we can just get up that fire escape, we can go in that second floor window.

Loren: What? Mel.

Melissa: Yeah.

Loren: Look, I want to see Eddie more than anything, but I don't exactly want to get arrested or break my neck.

Melissa: Come on, give me a boost. We can do this.

Loren: All right, come on.

Melissa: You come on.

Loren: No, you come on.

Melissa: You come on.

Loren: [Sighs]

Melissa: Boost me, boost me.

Loren: All right, okay. Okay.

Melissa: [Groans] Boost me.

Loren: Okay, there you go. Good? Can you get it?

Melissa: Yep. No. Kind of.

Man: Moving through, out of the way.

Loren: Mel.

Melissa: Oh, god. This is so not our night.

[Girls screeching] Oh, my god, it's Eddie.

Girl: Oh, my god!

Girl: Eddie! No! Eddie! Eddie!

[Overlapping shouting] No! We need in!

[Overlapping shouts] Eddie!

[Sighs]

[Groans]

[Rock music]

Jake: Yo, Eddie, hold up.

Eddie: What's up? I gotta warm up.

Jake: This is the last spot on the tour, and I just want to thank you for crushing it night after night, man. You are handling all of this like a pro. And you know me. That's the highest form of praise I dish out.

Eddie: Ah, I can only do it 'cause I know you got my back.

Jake: Always. And this is just the beginning, my friend. We've got worlds to conquer.

Eddie: Worlds? What'd you do? You book me on Mars?

Jake: Yeah, next year.

Eddie: All right.

Jake: You hear that?

[Girls cheering]

Jake: That's for you. This is your town. These are your people. Give them what they want. Give them the best damn night of their lives, Eddie Duran.

Eddie: Will do. You're the best, Jake. The best.

Jake: Don't I know it.

Let's do it.

[Cheering]

Loren: Okay, just lift-- Lift with your leg, up.

Melissa: All right.  Okay.

Loren: Okay.

Melissa: Almost got it. Kind of. Aah!

Jake: I understand. Tokyo is 17 hours ahead. I'm familiar with time zones, and I assure you, Eddie will make the interview. Arigato gozaimasu. If you're trying to sneak in, good luck.

Loren: No, actually, um, she just needed to use-

Both: The bathroom.

Jake: Show's sold out.

Loren: We know the show's sold out. It was sold out before any of us normal people even had a chance. That's why we had to buy ours from a scalper.

Melissa: Who screwed us over and sold us counterfeit tickets.

Jake: Well, I'm sorry to hear about that, but security will be around any second.

Both: Oh, no, no!

Loren: Aren't you Eddie's manager? I saw your interview with him on the Ellen show. You're Jake, right?

Jake: Yeah, that's me.

Loren: Look, I know you probably hear this all the time, but we love Eddie.

Jake: Everyone here loves Eddie.

Melissa: No one more than Loren.

Loren: His music makes me feel alive. And I know that probably sounds weird, but we scrimped and we saved for these tickets. Look, we're not the type of people that want to cause trouble at all, but we love Eddie so much that we were ready to commit a crime. That's what Eddie means to us. Please.

Melissa: Please.

Jake: All right, come on inside. I'll get you some wristbands.

Melissa: What?

Loren: Really?

[Both laughing and cheering]

[Knock at door]

Eddie: Jake. I love you, buddy, but, you know, no visitors before I go on.

Max: That include me?

Eddie: Papa Max is in the house!

Max: What's going on?

Eddie: Hey.

Max: Ohh! What's up? I've missed you.

Eddie: I missed you too.

Max: Oh, you look good. You look good. A little tired, maybe.

Eddie: [Laughs] Stop. All the traveling, the different venues, and the hotels-- it's wearing me out.

Max: Oh, you're breaking my heart. Yeah, private planes, five-star hotels--

Eddie: Yeah--

Max: [Groans] Not like the old days at all.

Eddie: How did you and Mom do it for so long?

Max: Oh, you know, we had each other.

Eddie: Yeah.

Max: Yeah.

Eddie: Well, things were definitely a lot calmer when Chloe was around.

Max: Oh, she joined you?

Eddie: Yeah. Yeah, when she could.

Max: Cool. Sounds like you guys are getting serious.

Eddie: Eh, well, you know, there's only one way we could get more serious. [Laughs] No, I just-- I really enjoy when she's around. You know, it's like somebody real I can connect with in the middle of all the craziness.

Max: All right. Okay, we'll talk about that later. I'll leave you alone now.

Eddie: What are you talking about? Don't leave. Stay.

Max: Nah, man, I know all about pre-show rituals. I'm not gonna mess with yours. You got friends, family-- it's your homecoming, man. Go get 'em.

Eddie: All right.

Max: Kill 'em.

[Cheers and applause]

Max: I gotta admit, that movie was lot better than I thought it would be.

Katie: Mm. You sure you're not just saying that because our son was in it?

Max: Well, maybe a little. I mean, come on. Who knew Eddie was such a good actor?

Katie: He was pretty adorable.

Max: Yeah--no, no. He's a star. He's a star. We did something right. Or wrong?

Katie: He'll be fine.

Max: Mm.

Katie: He'll be fine. Anyway, it's too late to stop it now. He's off and running.

Max: All the way to the top.

Katie: Mm.

Max: Oh, boy.

Katie: Just wait until his album drops next week.

Max: I'm so nervous about that. I-I don't know why. It know it's gonna be a great album, I know it's gonna be successful, but--

Katie: Everything's gonna change.

Max: Yeah. Are you happy or sad?

Katie: I'm happy. [Giggles] You?

Max: Me too. And so proud of him.

Katie: Me too.

Max: I am.

Katie: Me too. Max, watch out!

[Tires screeching]

[Crash]

[Cheers and applause]

Chloe: You need to leave, Tyler.

Tyler: You're not being very social to a guy you haven't seen in three months.

Chloe: You weren't supposed to be back from Hong Kong for another few weeks.

Tyler: I finished early, so I split. I couldn't be away from you for another second.

Chloe: What if they needed you for reshoots or something?

Tyler: Then they're out of luck.

Chloe: You got fired, didn't you?

Tyler: The director lacked vision, okay? He had no clue what he was doing. It was a bad joke. I had to split.

Chloe: I don't believe this. You finally land a part in a feature film and you just walk off?

Tyler: It was a cheesy slasher movie.

Chloe: It was a role, Tyler. A job, where they pay you money for your services, so you can pay your rent and, I don't know, eat.

Tyler: Okay, unlike you, I'm not just in it for the money.

Chloe: [Sighs] I don't have time to chitchat. I have a fitter coming over--

Tyler: There's no fitter.

Chloe: I got a message saying--

Tyler: I give good text, don't I?

Chloe: [Sighs] Great. Well, now I can head over to Eddie's show.

Tyler: What, I'm back now and you want to race off to play with that sellout?

Chloe: I'm not playing, Ty. It's serious now.

Tyler: [Laughs] Yeah, right. You're Chloe Carter. You don't get serious about anyone.

Chloe: Well I'm seriously going to the club.

[Pop-rock music]

[Crowd cheering]

Adriana: Hear that?

Loren: Yeah! Whoo!

Melissa: Look out! Whoo! Excuse me- Very important person! Excuse me! "V"-"I" to the "p"! "V" to the "I" to the "P," girl. Whoo! [Speaks indistinctly] Oh, my god. And I'm ready.

[Soft rock music] 

Eddie: For you, Mom. Always.
 

Gus: Did you find any contraband, detective?

Lisa: You think I've turned into my mother.

Gus: God, no, you're not that bad. She would have had a metal detector installed at the front door by now.

Lisa: I actually thought about doing that last week.

Gus: So you're a little bit like your mom? Probably happens to everybody.

Lisa: Oh, really? Like someone whose father worked 20 hours a day, and he vowed never to do that?

Gus: So we have become exactly what we said we'd never be.

[Phone ringing]

Lisa: Ah! Hello? Oh, hi, Darren. Oh. No, no, no. That's okay, I understand. Yeah, no-- no, I hadn't even started getting ready yet. Okay. Yeah, okay, well we'll-- we'll try for another time. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Uh-huh, I see. All right, well... take care. All right.

[Beep]

Lisa: [Sighs]

[Rock music]

Eddie: Is Chloe here?

Man: No, haven't seen her.

Chloe: Tyler, come on. Get out of the way, I'm late.

Tyler: Look, I've been stuck in the middle of nowhere for months. I kind of expected a warmer homecoming.

Chloe: I'll call you tomorrow. And I need my spare key back.

Tyler: You don't have to be like this, okay? It's just me and you. You can be yourself, Chloe.

Chloe: Mm.

[Soft rock music]

[Crowd cheering, applauding]

Eddie: Breathing it in can you feel it in your soul under your skin just let it take control tonight is gonna be our night the beat and rhythm feel the energy inside I know your body wants to explode your feet just wanna go we're gonna feel alive there's something in the air yeah-ah yeah we're gonna have a good time there's something in the air yeah-ah yeah we're gonna have a good time whoa oh oh ohh whoa oh oh ohh oh whoa oh oh ohh whoa oh oh ohh oh

[Crowd cheers]

Eddie: It's all around you're gonna let your mind escape so figure it out there's nothing in our way tonight is gonna be our night the beat and rhythm feel the energy inside I know your body wants to explode your feet just wanna go we're gonna feel alive there's something in the air yeah-ah yeah we're gonna have a good time there's something in the air yeah-ah yeah we're gonna have a good time whoa oh oh ohh whoa oh oh ohh oh whoa oh oh ohh whoa oh oh ohh oh can you feel it

[Crowd screams, cheers]

Eddie: Can you feel it can you feel it can you feel it

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