Raj: Okay, if no-one else will say it, I will. We really suck at paintball.
Howard: That was absolutely humiliating.
Leonard: Oh, come on, some battles you win, some battles you lose.
Howard: Yes, but you don’t have to lose to Kyle Bernstein’s Bar-Mitzvah party.
Leonard: I think we have to acknowledge, those were some fairly savage
pre-adolescent Jews.
Sheldon: You know, we were annihilated by our own incompetence and the inability
of some people to follow the chain of command.
Leonard: Sheldon, let it go.
Sheldon: No, I want to talk about the fact that Wolowitz shot me in the back.
Howard: I shot you for good reason, you were leading us into disaster.
Sheldon: I was giving clear, concise orders.
Leonard: You hid behind a tree yelling “get the kid in the yarmulkah, get the
kid in the yarmulkah.”
Raj (Entering dressed as Thor): Hey. Sorry I’m late, but my hammer got stuck in
the door on the bus.
Leonard: You went with Thor?
Raj: What? Just because I’m Indian I can’t be a Norse God? No, no, no, Raj has
to be an Indian God. That’s racism. I mean, look at Wolowitz, he’s not English,
but he’s dressed like Peter Pan. Sheldon(entering in a body suit featuring black
and white vertical lines) is neither sound nor light, but he’s obviously the
Doppler
Effect.
Howard: I’m not Peter Pan, I’m Robin Hood.
Raj: Really, because I saw Peter Pan, and you’re dressed exactly like Cathy
Rigby. She was a little bigger than you, but it’s basically the same look, man.
Raj: Mmmm, by Odin’s beard, this is good Chex Mix.
Howard: No thanks, peanuts, I can’t afford to swell up in these tights.
Sheldon: I’m confused. If there’s no costume parade, what are we doing here?
Leonard: We’re socialising. Meeting new people.
Sheldon: Telepathically?
Raj: Penny is wearing the worst Catwoman costume I have ever seen, and that
includes Halle Berry’s.
Leonard: She’s not Catwoman, she’s just a generic cat.
Sheldon: And that’s the kind of sloppy costuming which results from a lack of
rules and competition.
Leonard: Where do you get this stuff?
Howard: You know, psychology journals, internet research, and there’s this great
show on VH1 about how to pick up girls.
Raj: Oh, if only I had his confidence. I have such difficulty speaking to women.
Or around women. Or at times, even effeminate men.
Leonard: I want to get to know Penny’s friends, I just, I don’t know how to talk
to these people.
Sheldon: Well, I actually might be able to help.
Leonard: How so?
Sheldon: Like Jane Goodall observing the apes, I initially saw their
interactions as confusing and unstructured, but patterns emerge, they have their
own language if
you will.
Leonard: Go on.
Sheldon: Well, it seems that the newcomer approaches the existing group with the
greeting “How wasted am I?” which is met with an approving chorus of “Dude.”
Leonard: Then what happens?
Sheldon: That’s as far as I’ve gotten.
Leonard: This is ridiculous, I’m jumping in.
Sheldon: Good luck.
Leonard: No, you’re coming with me.
Sheldon: Oh, I hardly think so.
Leonard: Come on.
Sheldon: Aren’t you afraid I’ll embarrass you?
Leonard: Yes. But I need a wing-man.
Sheldon: Alright, but if we’re going to use flight metaphors I’m much more
suited to being the guy from the FAA, analysing wreckage.
Penny: Oh, hey guys. You having a good time?
Sheldon: Given the reaction to my costume, this party is a scathing indictment
of the American education system.
Kurt: What, you’re a zebra, right?
Sheldon: Yet another child left behind.
Kurt: And what are you supposed to be, an Elf?
Leonard: No, I’m a Hobbit.
Kurt: What’s the difference?
Leonard: Uh, a Hobbit is a mortal Halfling inhabitant of Middle Earth, whereas
an Elf is an immortal tall warrior.
Kurt: So why the hell would you want to be a Hobbit?
Sheldon: Because he is neither tall nor immortal, and none of us could be The
Flash.
Kurt: Well, whatever, why don’t you go hop off on a quest, I’m talking to Penny
here.
Leonard: Okay, I understand your impulse to try to physically intimidate me. I
mean, you can’t compete with me on an intellectual level and so you’re driven to
animalistic puffery.
Kurt: Are you calling me a puffy animal?
Penny: Of course not, no, he’s not, you’re not, right Leonard?
Leonard: No, I said animalistic. Of course we’re all animals, but some of us
have climbed a little higher on the evolutionary tree.
Sheldon: If he understands that, you’re in trouble.
Kurt: So what, I’m unevolved?
Sheldon: You’re in trouble.
Kurt: You know, you use a lot of big words for such a little dwarf.
Penny: Okay, Kurt, please.
Leonard: No, Penny, it’s okay, I can handle this. I’m not a dwarf, I’m a Hobbit.
A Hobbit. Are misfiring neurons in your hippocampus preventing the conversion
from short-term to long-term memory?
Kurt: Okay, now you’re starting to make me mad.
Leonard: A homo-habilus discovering his opposable thumbs says what?
Kurt: What?
Leonard: I think I’ve made my point.
Kurt: Yeah, how about I make a point out of your pointy little head.
Sheldon: Let me remind you, while my moral support is absolute, in a physical
confrontation I will be less than useless.
Leonard: There’s not going to be a confrontation, in fact I doubt if he can even
spell confrontation.
