Y&R Transcript Thursday 4/25/19

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Episode #11600 ~ Malcolm returns home as family and friends gather to mourn the loss of Neil Winters.

Provided By Suzanne

Ana: Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me I once was lost but now I'm found was blind but now I see 'twas grace that taught my heart to fear and grace my fears relieved how precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed the lord has promised good to me his word my hope secures he will my shield and portion be as long as life endures through many dangers, toils and snares I have already come 'twas grace that brought me safe thus far and grace will lead me home lead me home lead me home

Welcome, all of you. Today we honor and celebrate the life of neil ellis winters. A great man. A father. A grandfather. A community leader. And a cherished friend. These are hard days for all of us. Loss is always painful. But the shock and the speed of a death like this brings a sense of abandonment. Confusion. We ask, "why?" And we wait for an answer that might never seem to come. Neil made genoa city a better place. He gave back to those around him, on the grand scale and the small. The memorial day barbecue his company hosted to benefit the families of fallen soldiers. The work he did one-on-one through his foundation. Lord, there is a hole in all of our hearts today. A fervent wish that we'd been more careful. More present. More aware of the gift that neil was to all of our lives. But he knew. I can say that with certainty. Neil knew that he was loved. By his friends. By his brother. By his grandchildren, and by the children he loved with all of his heart.

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Amen. And now lily ashby will say a few words about her father.

Lily: [ Sniffles ]

[ Crying ] I can't do it. I'm sorry. I can'T.

Devon: It's all right.

Malcolm: Phew... it's hard... [ Sighs ] It's hard to do something that shouldn't have to be done. We shouldn't be here right now. And this pain, nobody should have to feel it. I'm looking into the pews and... I expect to see my brother's face. You know, it's times like this when neil, he was at his best. He was the one with the answer. Because he -- he just knew. Maybe he didn't know how to fix things, but... he damn sure knew how to survive. My brother made things better. If he was standing here right now [Snorts softly] Man... he'd be giving a profound speech. And it would be wise. It would be big-hearted.

[ Sighs shakily ] And then, you know -- you know him, he'd, uh -- he'd throw in some corny-ass jokes, because [Chuckles] That dude right there, he was a cornball. I used to tell him all the time, I'd say, "man, you're corny." He'd say, "no, you corny." I said, "no, no, no." I said, "no, you so corny, you make me look like tupac."

[ Chuckles ] But he did that -- he did that because he wanted to remind us that it is okay to laugh. And then he'd rattle off some quotes from davis and coltrane. 'Cause neil, he loved him some jazz. I'm -- I'm just standing here right now, and all I can think about is... I'm not him. I could never be him. I don't have his words. Because I was oil to his water. When I first came to town, I wasn't in the best place in my life.

[ Scoffs ] There's a lot of you sitting here that know that that's an understatement. But neil, man, he -- he wasn't having it. He wasn't gonna let me do that to myself -- or to this world. I mean, man, he was -- he was so determined. He was so determined he was -- he was gonna set me straight whether I liked it or not. And let me be very, very clear -- I didn't like it at all. But I got to admit, he, uh... he made sense, you know? Neil always made sense. Hmph... he would talk sense into you when you needed to hear it. He could -- man, he would kick you in the ass, and he would -- he would push you in the right direction. He'd say, "come on, malcolm. It is time to go. It is time to go." He wasn't gonna carry you, though, no. No, no, no, no, no. He expected you to step up.

[ Inhales ] And do the work. Do the work. Hey, man, I hated it when he talked like that. I hated it. Bugged the hell out of me, man. Yes. Yes, me and my brother had problems. But come on. We were brothers. What siblings don't, you know what I'm saying? But that bond -- that bond. That's something real hard to break. I mean, there were times. You know, there were times I was like, "forget this, man. This is it. This is over. It's the last straw, man. I don't care. Man, I don't need you. You hear me? I don't need you! I can do this by my damn self."

[ Sniffles ] But I was just lying. I was lying to myself. I was lying to anybody who would listen.

[ Sighs ] But when you needed your brother the most... neil was always there. And I -- everywhere I go, I can -- I-I can hear his voice in my head. "You better watch yourself, malcolm. Better watch yourself, man. Better make the right choice. Life's about choices, malcolm."

[ Sniffles ] I probably should have listened to him more than I did. I should have reached out to him... more than I did. I just -- I just... I just wish I could say to him, out loud, to his face, "you helped me become the man that I am. I miss you. I owe you. God, I owe you. I owe you so much. And I love you." I love you. I really, uh... I hope the reverend is right. 'Cause I just pray to god that he knew.

Nate: The last thing my mother wanted me to say is, uh, "tell them olivia's heart is with you all. Tell them I feel their pain across the world. Like a ripple in the hot, dry air here. And remind them that while we have lost neil, he has crossed years and miles to reach his perfection. He's with dru again. Their hearts, always connected, are united now forever. And just as we feel their loss, we should also feel their love.

Victor: Neil winters came to me...

[ Sighs ] ...As a young man. He had graduated from stanford university with honors, from their mba program. When he joined me at newman enterprises, I thought I had to take him under my wing. Teach him the tricks of the business. He didn't have to learn much. He was guided by a deep sense of honest, fairness, integrity. Eventually, he became more than just a business associate. He became a friend. A member of my family. There were times when i considered him my son. I watched him build his own business with great pride. Watched him raise his family equally with great pride. Devon and lily, he was very proud of both of you. Charlie and mattie and moses, I know what it meant to him to see you grow up. Most of all, I want to tell you that he...was one of the few men I trusted. He was a friend. He was a good man. And he will live on through you, devon and lily. And mattie and charlie. Be proud of your dad and your granddad. I shall miss you, my friend.

Jack: Not an easy act to follow. Victor and neil did indeed have a remarkable friendship, and i know for sure it would have meant the world to him to hear those words from you. Victor spoke eloquently of neil's decency. I'm gonna talk for a moment about his generosity. Neil was always aware of his good fortune, always looking for a way to pay it forward. In his mind, everyone deserved a chance at success, to feel that rush of pride with accomplishment. And he didn't just write a couple of checks and call it a day. The abbot-winters foundation was neil's idea. His mission to serve his community. As he put it, we were going to help one patient at a time, one day at a time. And this work, for neil, was personal. The immediacy, the intimacy of it comes from knowing what's at stake, from having lived it. It's a connection. A -- a vital connection that most people never know about. It is private. It is personal. And no one -- no one was more devoted to that cause than neil winters. I wish I could share with you, I wish I could read to you and neil all of the e-mails we've gotten since his passing. People whose lives he touched, success stories. As well as people who relapsed who have newly dedicated themselves to trying again in neil's honor to feel worthy of his faith in them. Neil didn't just touch lives. He saved lives. I know what I'm talking about. One of the lives he saved was mine.

"The young and the restless"

will continue.

Devon: It's such a beautiful day outside today. We should be out enjoying it. Instead of being in here. 'Cause I know that neil would want to do that. He'd want to take a long lunch break today, and go and probably play some one-on-one. Like we've been doing since i was a kid. He'd let me win half the time, too. 'Cause he was a lot bigger than me, and he could do whatever he wanted, but he wouldn't do that, 'cause he -- he wanted me to feel like I had a chance. And he wanted me to feel confident. 'Cause that's -- that's what fathers do, and he was my father. He'd also listen, and talk to me about anything in the world that I'd ever have going on in my life 'cause he was my friend. And he was the best friend that I've ever had here, next to you. And it didn't start off that way, because he didn't even like me when he first met me. I was a, um...a bad kid with a big chip on my shoulder. As I'm sure you guys remember. But he never quit on me. He never gave up. And he made for sure that I knew that I was a part of his family. And I had a father for the first time in my life. And when you're a kid in my situation, how I grew up, you -- you think that nothing matters, and that you can do everything yourself. But when you get somebody in your life who says that you don't have to do it by yourself anymore, and that they're gonna be by your side... and that they won't give up on you no matter what, it -- it's everything in the world. And it changes you. And then he took in my mom. He took in my sister and my aunt. Uh... he mad his home our home. 'Cause he never turned anybody away. He was just an insanely loyal person. Our dad had principles that he lived by. And they were loyalty, respect, and... righteousness. And, more than anything, love. And I know I don't carry his dna. But his voice is in my head. It's in my head right now, saying, "my man." His love is in my heart. And I know it will always be there.

Thank you, devon. Would anyone else care to say a few words?

Lily: [ Sighs ] I can't do it.

Malcolm: It's okay. Cane, you go on.

Cane: Neil wouldn't want that.

Lily: Cane, no matter what happened between you and I, my dad loved you. Please.

Cane: You know, when I first met neil, he, uh -- he wanted me gone. And, uh, you know, I don't blame him, because lily is special. And, um, I let neil and lily down more than once. But, you see, the thing is, neil believed in second chances. Um, let me fix that. Neil actually believed that you could earn a second chance. Neil was, um, the first father figure that I saw in action. He was loving. He was attentive. He's the man who showed me what a father and child relationship should be like. He showed me that it was a man's duty to love with ferocity. At the same time, you have to let your kids grow on their own. It was an honor to know him. It was an honor to learn how to parent from him. And it was a privilege to be part of his family. He was a strong man. He was. You see, 'cause when he lost dru, he beat back a loss that I couldn't imagine. And to do that, and to show up for the ones that love you during that time, it takes spirit. And it takes faith. And, lily, he passed that down to you. Come here, sweetheart.

Mattie: It's okay, mom.

Charlie: Come on. Come on.

Lily: [ Sighs ]

[ Sniffles ]

[ Sniffles ]

[ Crying ] I'm not ready.

[ Sniffles ] I don't know if I'll ever be ready. I just got home, you know?

[ Sobs ] And I was so excited for the rest of my life to start. And now it has to without him.

[ Sniffles ]

[ Sighs ] When I lost my mom, I had my dad, and

[Exhales deeply] Now that I lost my dad, I -- I feel so alone, and...

[Exhales deeply] But I know that's not true because I have my kids, and I have people who love and support me, and... you know, I see my -- my dad in my...little brother's smile. I see his soul in my other brother's eyes. I'm so scared that I'm gonna -- I'm gonna feel this way forever. And I know I'm supposed to be brave and say something profound, but...

[ Sighs ]

[ Exhaling deeply ] But all I keep thinking is, he should have had more time. He should have had more time on this earth. He should have had more time to laugh, you know? I mean, his laugh...

[ Laughs ] He was actually really funny. He was. But it was a sneaky funny, because it was only if he let you in. But he was also very, very strong. So strong.

[ Inhales, exhales deeply ] Especially when you were falling apart. He knew how to pick up the pieces [Sniffles] And put you back together. He put me back together. When I went to prison, he moved just to be close to me, to be there for me. He changed his whole life just so that I wouldn't drown in fear and shame and -- and guilt.

[ Exhales deeply ] And now we have to do that for each other. We have to be there for each other to get through this. That is the only way to honor him... is to do that for each other, to hold on to hope without him.

[ Sobbing ]

[ Exhales deeply ] I love you.

There is love and bravery in what you all did today. You came together to honor neil winters. But also to support and to love each other. And to share this moment and not shrink away. There is grief in remembering. But there is joy, as well. Cherish neil's memories. And cherish each other. Father in heaven, we thank you because you have made each of us in your own precious image, and gave us gifts in mind, body, and in spirit. We thank you, o lord, for neil and what he has meant to each of us. We honor his memory. But, lord, make us more aware that you are the one from whom comes every perfect gift. Including the gift of everlasting life through our lord and savior jesus christ. Amen.

Together: Amen.

Devon: Reverend, thank you very much for being here for us today. Uh, and thank you all for coming, and for loving our dad as much as we do. Thank you.

Devon: Hey.

Christine: Your father was such a wonderful man.

Devon: He was.

Christine: [ Sighs ] Just know that we are always here for you and your family.

Devon: Thank you. I appreciate that.

Christine: Okay. [ Sighs ] Paul sends his condolences.

Leslie: He was the best man I ever knew. Smart. Funny. So kind. I've played it over in my head, breaking off the engagement. I just... I just didn't realize I wouldn't have the chance to... I'm so sorry.

Phyllis: I'll pay you to move back to town.

Malcolm: Hey, you. Come here.

Phyllis: Hi.

Malcolm: Mmm. I do need to see your face in real life more than every few years. Online doesn't cut it.

Phyllis: Well, online friends are better than nothing. Which is basically what I got now.

Malcolm: Oh, come on, now. Is it that bad?

Phyllis: Today is not about me. You need all the love and the support. And I'm here. I always will be for you.

Malcolm: Thank you, phyllis.

Traci: You're going to ache. And you're going to feel really alone. But know that I am here for you. You know that, don't you?

Lily: I do.

Traci: And there are so many people who love you, and so many people who want to help you. Especially cane. So, please, please, sweetie, give yourself that gift. Lean on him if you need to.

Devon: You know that you and moses are my family. So if there's anything in the world that you guys need, no matter what it is, do not hesitate to reach out to me, okay?

Sofia: [ Sighs ] There is so much of neil in you.

Devon: Thank you.

Malcolm: Where's mine?

Sofia: [ Sighs ]

Malcolm: Long time. [ Sighs ]

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