Y&R Transcript Thursday 4/13/17

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Episode # 11148 ~ Nick loses control; Jordan questions Hilary about their relationship; sparks fly between Phyllis & Scott.

Provided By Suzanne

Phyllis: Lauren! Are you home?!

Scott: Phyllis. Hey.

Phyllis: Hi.

Scott: Hi.

Phyllis: You're dripping.

Scott: I, uh, just got out of the shower, yeah.

Phyllis: I can see that. So will your neighbors if you keep standing in the doorway like this.

Scott: Yeah, good call. Uh, come on in.

Phyllis: Where's Lauren?

Scott: Uh, she and Michael went to Chicago for the night.

Phyllis: Oh.

Scott: Sort of a last-minute romantic getaway.

Phyllis: [Chuckles] Those two lovebirds. They make me sick. I'm kidding. It's good. I think it's good they spend time with each other. That's good.

Scott: Does she need that tonight?

Phyllis: Uh, well, if I say yes, will you drive to chi-town and give it to her?

Scott: You know what? Yes. I'm actually going to leave right now. I won't even change.

Phyllis: Oh, well, that'll be something, but that's okay. I'm gonna go ahead and leave it right here. Oh. Tough assignment?

Scott: Oh, no. Just a journal entry. You know, a friend of mine, he, uh, had his heart broken by a, uh, woman who turned out to be a murderer.

Phyllis: Kevin and Chloe?

Scott: You cracked my code.

Phyllis: Ah, I'm smart like that. Have the police found any leads?

Scott: No. She just up and vanished. There's no, uh, ATM withdrawals, no hotel rooms.

Phyllis: I cannot believe that girl has not used her credit card. She loves to shop.

Scott: Which makes you wonder if she had any help getting away.

Victoria: I need to talk to you about --

Nick: I need to talk --

Victoria: ...Billy.

Nick: I got to talk about Chelsea. You go first.

Victoria: Well, Billy could tell that something was off with me after I left the ranch, and he kept pushing me and pushing me to talk about it. I almost lost it and told him that there were only two things that I talk about -- our kids and work.

Nick: How'd he take that?

Victoria: [Sighs] Not well. Your turn. What's going on with Chelsea?

Nick: Chelsea wants to start this, like, full court press to try and track down Chloe. I think I talked her out of it.

Victoria: Well, it's gonna be difficult, but --

Nick: Yeah, I know. Mom made us promise that no one is gonna find out dad brought Chloe to town just so they could frame Adam.

Victoria: And we have to play the happy family in public. How we supposed to do that?

Nick: I have no idea. I can't even be in the same room as dad right now. I'm afraid of what I'll do to him.

[Door slams]

Victor: You make this ridiculous declaration and walk out on me? What's the matter with you?

Nikki: It wasn't ridiculous. I meant every word of it. You're no longer a part of this family.

Victor: I think you need to calm down and we talk about it quietly.

Nikki: No, no, no, no. This is non-negotiable. I'm not gonna change my mind. Never again. Those days are over. Nicholas and Victoria agree. The world will continue to see a close, loving family, but when we don't have to put on a show, the reality will be very different. You'll be alone, on your own.

Victor: You finished?

Nikki: Oh, no. I'm just getting started.

[Tuning guitar]

Tessa: What's up, reed?

Reed: Hey. Um, my machine head's busted, so I've been messing with it, but it's not working.

Tessa: Huh.

Reed: Um, what are you doing?

Tessa: Oh, I was just getting some tea before our lesson.

Reed: Oh, man. I'm sorry. I totally lost track of time.

Tessa: Eh, no, that's all right. Uh, here. Let me see. I've had this happen a few times. I know a life hack that might work.

Reed: Awesome.

Tessa: So, all right.

Reed: Hey, Kendall.

Kendall: Happy birthday, reed.

Reed: Thank you.

Kendall: It's hella cool you got your license today. Let's go for a ride!

Mariah: Thank you for the late lunch. It was delicious.

Devon: Of course. Of course. This is as far as I go.

Mariah: Oh, stop. It's fine.

Devon: I'm just not up for another round with Hilary.

Mariah: Just don't let her intimidate you, all right?

Devon: It's not even that. It's just every time she sees me, it puts her in a mood, and I get to leave, where you have to stay here and deal with her, so I really just don't want her ruining the rest of your day.

Hilary: Okay, a little higher.

Mariah: Wait, what is she up to now?

Hilary: [Sighs] No, no, a little to the left. That's perfect. Perfect. So, what do you think?

Jordan: It's hot. But not as hot as those more revealing pics that we took that night.

Hilary: [Chuckles] Oh, you mean the pictures that are never seeing the light of day?

Jordan: Now, that's too bad. I'm glad I got a private showing, though.

Mariah: Hilary? What the hell? You're changing the name of the show?!

Hilary: Rebranding. And part of that is highlighting the key draw for the audience. As you can see, it's me.

Mariah: According to who?! You?!

Hilary: According to focus groups, research, ratings.

Mariah: So that's it? I'm out?

Hilary: No, you are not out. Okay, you are a valuable member of this team. And this poster reflects that. See? There's your name right there.

Mariah: The only thing that that poster reflects is that I am way less important than you!

Hilary: This is what's best for the show.

Mariah: Bull.

Hilary: In this business, things move fast, okay? You have to be reactive. Chelsea Newman's interview, it went national. That gave us credibility with all of the major news outlets. They requested some footage and sound bytes of me, and I want to capitalize on that.

Mariah: What happened at Kevin and Chloe's wedding was my story. I brought it to you!

Hilary: A bit of a revisionist history, don't you think? I had to drag that story out of you. And when Chelsea wanted to go on air, you had reservations.

Mariah: So this is punishment.

Hilary: I don't think you understand who calls the shots here. I do. I own the show.

Scott: Chloe's father was a plumber. Katherine chancellor was her godmother. She went away to boarding school, changed her name, and worked in new York.

Phyllis: Apparently she's an expert in blowing things up. You doing all this research for your journal?

Scott: You know, it started out as a journal entry, but, you know, now it's more notes for the book.

Phyllis: You're writing a book?

Scott: Yeah. Victor Newman's biography.

Phyllis: What? He's writing a tell-all?

Scott: Well, I'd like to think of it as a well-written, in-depth, and touching account of one man's life. But I'm biased.

Phyllis: And you're helping him? Oh, you're gonna need a bigger bottle.

Scott: Wait, I thought he used to be your father-in-law.

Phyllis: Oh, yeah, a couple times.

Scott: So is that why I'm sensing tension?

Phyllis: Oh, uh, something like that.

Scott: You know, Victor and I talked about Adam's death before the truth came out, so just have to sit back down with him and see how his feelings might have changed now that he knows it was murder.

Phyllis: Oh, you think he's got feelings? Uh, even a new heart would not make him human. He's the biggest and baddest of all the baddies.

Scott: Can I quote you?

Phyllis: [Chuckles] No. That is strictly off the record.

Scott: Is there anything I can do to get you to go on the record, get your take on Victor? [Sighs]

Phyllis: [Sighs] Like the subject of your book so fondly says, "not gonna happen."

Scott: [Chuckles]

Nick: I mean, Chelsea wanted to start a website and then go on GC buzz regularly and hire a P.I. To find Chloe. I told her that Paul and his guys will find her. She cannot get obsessed with this.

Victoria: Did she buy it?

Nick: Yeah, I guess. But, I mean, I felt like a real ass, you know, lying to her.

Victoria: Well, technically, nothing that you said to her was a lie.

Nick: Well, I was definitely withholding the truth, and relationships need to be built on honesty.

Victoria: You're honorable, nick. You are. Keeping this secret just means protecting your loved ones.

Nick: You know, lying to Chelsea's bad enough, but to my kids and to Abby?

Victoria: Well, if it gets unbearable, you can always come over here. We got each other to lean on and mom.

Nick: Better keep that fridge stocked with beer, then.

Victoria: What's going on in your head?

Nick: It's just more stuff with Chelsea. I mean, dad summoned her earlier to talk to him.

Victoria: Oh. Preemptive strike.

Nick: I guess. She said he was sweet and seemed, you know, crushed by what Chloe did, but we know the truth.

Victoria: He was trying to make sure that Chelsea didn't know about his connection to Chloe.

Nick: Yeah. He's so two-faced. Like father, like son, huh?

Victoria: No. This is different, nick.

Nick: You know, we can tell ourselves that, but if Chloe ever gets caught, all these people that we lied to can call us self-serving hypocrites, and they would be right.

Nikki: The sleeping arrangements of last night were not a one-time thing. You'll need to have your things moved from the master. The rest of the time, you will stay in your wing or go to the office or the club or wherever the hell you want to go. I really don't care as long as you steer clear of me. The staff have already signed nondisclosure agreements. They cannot legally reveal what goes on in this house. And Nicholas and Victoria, well, we certainly don't have to worry about them.

Victor: I know I've hurt you. But I think you're overreacting now.

Nikki: You can't overreact to what you've done, Victor. You brought a psychopath into our lives. Her original victim was Adam, but who knows what can happen?

Victor: Don't you think I know that? It has been haunting me! I'm upset about this whole thing, just as you are! You rehashing it now rips up old wounds! I don't need that! I need your help to heal it!

Nikki: You need me to stand by you, to forgive and forget like I always have?

Victor: Right.

Nikki: I'll be damned if I will make that mistake again. For once in my life, I am putting my family first, not you.

Victor: You're being very unreasonable.

Nikki: I'm doing what I have to do to ensure the happiness of my family. Oh, to that end, you are not invited to reed's birthday party tonight.

Victor: What the hell are you talking about?

Nikki: The days of you calling all the shots are over.

Victor: You don't tell me that I can't go to my grandson's birthday party!

[Door closes]

Nikki: Well...

Faith: I'm home! Is everything okay?

Reed: Wait, so, like, how'd you know about my license?

Kendall: Um, you posted an update. I gave the thumbs up.

Reed: I haven't checked my page in awhile.

Kendall: I check it all the time.

Reed: You check my page all the time?

Kendall: What? No. I meant mine. Let's go to Henderson park. There's a carnival in town, so there's tons of rides.

Reed: That sounds fun.

Kendall: Yay!

Reed: Problem is I don't have wheels.

Kendall: Well, that's a total suckfest.

Reed: I'm sorry to disappoint you.

Kendall: I was kidding. Um, maybe we can go another time. Who knows? Maybe we'll have something else to celebrate other than your birthday.

Reed: Like what?

Kendall: Like my uncle signing you to a multi-million-dollar music contract.

Reed: It'd be super sweet. Um, did you send him the link to that video of me performing?

Kendall: I promised I would.

Reed: Did he get back to you?

Kendall: Not yet. But he's swamped all the time. I'll check in with him soon. You're too good not to be a star.

Reed: Thank you.

Kendall: Birthday selfie!

[Cell phone rings]

Kendall: Ooh. Bad timing, Zoey. I'll hit decline so we can take the pic.

Reed: No, no, no. Answer it. I want to tell her about my license.

Kendall: Fabu. What up, girl? Hold on. Reed wants to get at you.

Reed: Hey. I got my license. I know. You should have seen the instructor. Yeah, are you still planning on coming to my party tonight? Awesome. Cool. Then I'll see you soon. Yeah, here she is. She wants to talk to you about, like, dresses or something.

Kendall: Hey.

Tessa: Hey. Ooh! Fixed for now, but you should get it replaced.

Reed: Yeah, no, I was planning on it.

Tessa: Uh, happy birthday, by the way.

Reed: Thank you.

Tessa: Um, are you ready to head over your grandma's, or do you need more time with your girlfriend?

Reed: Oh, no. Kendall's not my girlfriend. She's just a friend.

Tessa: Okay.

Reed: Thank you. I'll see you at the party.

Kendall: Can't wait! Maybe you shouldn't come tonight. Because reed's mom's gonna be there, and, well, you know she hates you. Totally. It's all about reed. You should walk in there like you own the place. Who cares what that wicked witch thinks?

Victoria: I haven't had to lie to Billy yet, but I'm sure that day is coming. He's not gonna let this go.

Nick: The stakes are just as high for him as they are for Chelsea.

Victoria: I'm sure that he would love to have this kind of artillery to use against dad.

Nick: He can't sit on something like that, not that big.

Victoria: Maybe. Maybe if I explain how it's gonna affect Johnny and Katie.

Nick: Are you wavering?

Victoria: No.

Nick: Vick.

Victoria: I'm not.

Nick: He can't know.

Victoria: I know. [Sighing] Oh, god. This is so frustrating.

Nick: Easy for you to say. You can avoid dad. I live on the same property as him.

Victoria: Oh, my gosh. I forgot faith lives in the same house with dad. That must be killing you.

Nick: At least mom's there. But who knows how long it's gonna be till she cracks and starts getting us to, you know, try and forgive dad.

Victoria: I don't know. I have never seen mom more determined to hold dad accountable for his actions.

Nick: I hope she makes him suffer. It's about time somebody teaches dad a lesson.

Nikki: Here you go. Your favorite.

Faith: Thanks, grandma.

Nikki: How was school? Hey, didn't you have a math quiz today?

Faith: Mm-hmm. I only missed two questions.

Nikki: Good job.

Faith: [Chuckles]

Nikki: Homework tonight?

Faith: No, but I want to start working on my essay. I'm really excited about it.

Nikki: Oh, yeah?

Victor: What's your assignment?

Faith: I get to pick someone and write about why I admire them. Guess who I picked?

Victor: Who?

Faith: You, grandpa.

Victor: Me?

Faith: Mm-hmm.

Victor: That's so sweet of you.

Faith: Honey, I'm sure that your teacher meant somebody from history, somebody who made an impact on the world.

Faith: She said we could write about anybody. And I want to write about grandpa.

Victor: I'm happy to hear that, my sweetheart, okay? I'm very touched. Now, just know that your grandpa is far from perfect, but I try hard.

Faith: You can help me with the essay if you want. My teacher said it was okay.

Victor: I would love to. Okay?

Faith: May I be excused? The drama club is having a video chat to talk about the school play.

Nikki: Yes, of course you may.

Victor: Okay, my darling.

Nikki: I suggest that you find a way to change her mind about that essay she has to write.

Victor: Listen to me. You may have poisoned Nicholas and Victoria against me. I'll be damned if I allow you to poison my grandchildren against me. You got it?!

Hilary: I developed the new format and direction of the show, which means that I'm entitled to rebrand in a way that, yes, it may put me front and center.

Devon: Hilary, come on. This rebranding is not for the good of the show, all right? This is classic Hilary. You're not satisfied, and you're reaching for more when you already have it all.

Jordan: Hilary's finally living up to her potential now that she doesn't have you holding her back. Shame when a man's threatened by his lady's drive and ambition.

Devon: You should put him on payroll. You can never have too many yes men around you.

Hilary: Okay, that's enough, all right? I don't have time for this. Hire a photographer. Show me a mock-up of a publicity poster that works for you. But remember this -- I get final approval. Happy?

Mariah: Ecstatic.

Hilary: Now, I would suggest Jordan, but I think he's a bit pricey for you.

Mariah: You know what? This isn't about publicity posters. It's not even about a new name for the show. The only reason that you pulled this power play is because I am dating Devon.

Scott: So you don't have to drink from the bottle and I can have some.

Phyllis: Aww, you think I'm gonna share this? You're so cute.

Scott: You know, Victor gave me permission to, uh, interview friend and foe, so there's really no reason for you to fear retribution -- oh. Oh -- if you participate.

Phyllis: Go ahead. I'm not afraid of Victor, but, you know, he has a lot of other foes you can interview, like Chloe, if they ever find her.

Scott: Now, there's a mystery even Sherlock will have trouble solving.

Phyllis: Though I have a theory.

Scott: You do?

Phyllis: I do. It's a secret. Come here. [Whispers] Alien abduction. Gotcha!

Scott: [Chuckles] Yeah, you did. You were so convincing, I almost invited you to join my alien abductee support group, which I am the vice president of.

Phyllis: Oh, really? Please say "gotcha."

Scott: Gotcha. I'm actually the -- the president.

Phyllis: [Chuckles] Good, good. You are a funny guy.

Scott: Cheers. But seriously...

Phyllis: [Laughs]

Scott: Seriously, seriously. Do you think that Chloe could have pulled off, uh, blowing up that cabin all by herself and disappearing?

Phyllis: [Sighs]

Scott: I mean, can you think of anybody who might have helped her?

Phyllis: I got nothing.

Scott: Yeah. And every day that goes by that Chloe isn't found, I'm sure it's hell for Victor.

Phyllis: Enough pitying that guy, all right? He doesn't deserve it.

Scott: Why's that?

Phyllis: Nice try. I am not gonna be a source for your book, all right? Besides, I'm officially bored of talking about Victor, which is a step forward, because usually he infuriates me.

Scott: Oh. What would you like to talk about? Yes, indeed. Voilà.

Phyllis: Your mother suggested that I date you. You want to talk about that?

Scott: Please say "gotcha."

Phyllis: No. I'm sorry. I can't. It's true.

Scott: [Sighs]

[Piano playing sour notes]

Nikki: [Sighs]

[Doorbell rings]

Nikki: Oh! Tessa.

Tessa: Is this a bad time?

Nikki: No, no. Uh, uh, I was just working on a new piece. Not going very well, I'm afraid. Come on in.

Tessa: Oh. Reed said it was okay to come in. He's just getting the guitars from the car.

Nikki: Yeah, no, it's fine. It's fine.

Reed: Hi, Grandma.

Nikki: Oh, happy birthday, baby.

Reed: Thanks. Yeah.

Tessa: I was thinking, it's such a great day, we can go outside and we can play --

Nikki: Oh, no, you don't have to do that. I like when there's music in the house. I-I-I'd like to sit and listen if you don't mind.

Reed: That's cool with me, um, if it's cool with you.

Tessa: I mean, if you're sure we're not gonna be in your way.

Nikki: Believe me, if you were, I would tell you.

Reed: All right, well, then let's get started. Um, I have been practicing what you showed me last week.

Tessa: Oh, perfect. All right, well, let's give it a go.

[Guitar strums]

Tessa: Ooh. All right, want to start?

Reed: Mm-hmm.

Victor: [Grunting]

Hilary: You really think that I did all of this because I'm jealous that you're dating my ex-husband? I am too occupied with making this show the best that it can be to play your little game. Something that you should focus on, too.

Mariah: You know what? Let's get out of here before my foot focuses on kicking her butt.

Hilary: My knight in shining armor. Thanks for stepping up earlier. That meant a lot.

Jordan: Did it?

Hilary: Yes. Why would you even ask me that?

Jordan: It's just a vibe that I'm getting. You know, our hook-up the other night, was that just a one-time thing or what?

Victoria: Oh, yes. This place looks fantastic, Noah.

Noah: Thank you. Cake was delivered. Uh, it's in dad's office.

Victoria: Perfect.

Noah: Um, have you heard from dad? I left him a few messages.

Victoria: Yes, he was just at my -- my house.

Noah: Was he okay?

Victoria: Um, well, he's --

Noah: Yeah, that's what I thought. Um, I-I figured this whole thing with Chloe was messing with his head and Chelsea. I guess everybody who knew Adam has been rocked by this.

Victoria: Yeah. You have no idea.

Tessa: Oh.

Reed: Man. So much for life-hacking skills.

Tessa: Hey. [Chuckles]

Nikki: What? What happened?

Reed: Um, it's nothing. It's just the machine head's busted, so, um... I mean, I just haven't had time to go by the music store to get it replaced.

Nikki: Well, will you have time before going to the underground tonight? It would be a shame if you couldn't play.

Tessa: Another open mic?

Nikki: Oh, it's his birthday party.

Reed: Oh, and you're totally invited. It should be really fun. That is, if you want to hang out.

Nikki: Oh, there will be other people there that you already know -- Victoria, Noah. Unfortunately, Victor's not gonna be able to be there.

Reed: Grandpa can't make it?

Nikki: He feels horrible about it, but it was a business commitment he just couldn't get out of.

Reed: That bites.

Nikki: Yeah, but you won't even have a chance to miss him. You'll be surrounded by all of your friends.

Reed: Um, so, Tessa, what do you think?

Tessa: Sure. I'll be there.

Reed: Awesome.

Tessa: But I don't think I'm gonna have time to get you a gift.

Reed: Oh, no worries. Um, I don't want it to be, like, a big deal or anything.

Nikki: Well, honey, it is a big deal. You're 16 now. You're almost a man. But you'll never be too old for me to spoil you rotten.

Reed: Oh, Grandma.

Nikki: Okay, I am gonna go help your mother set up.

Reed: One second. Grandma?

Nikki: Yeah?

Reed: If you talk to grandpa on your way, could you let him know that I'm really gonna miss him tonight and that I wish he could have made it?

Nikki: Oh, honey. Of course I'll tell him.

Reed: Thank you.

Faith: Wow. You're strong, grandpa.

Victor: [Breathlessly] My goodness. What are you doing here, sweetheart?

Faith: Do you want me to go back to the main house?

Victor: No, no, no, no. Come on. Stay. Let's sit down here and talk. Oh, boy. But don't sit too close. I'm sweaty. Ooh! You know how tiring this is? [Sighs sharply] So, what's on your mind?

Faith: It's just my essay. Should I write about someone important from history?

Victor: Yeah, if you want to.

Faith: I've been thinking about it really hard, and I can't think of anybody more important to me than you.

Victor: [Sighs] That's so sweet of you. You know, if I were to write an essay, I would write it about you.

Faith: Me?

Victor: Yeah.

Faith: Why?

Victor: Because you're so bright, you're so beautiful, you have such a good heart. Those are rare qualities, you know.

Faith: I love you, grandpa. I don't care how sweaty you are. I want to hug you.

Victor: [Chuckles]

Mariah: Would you think less of me if I downed this?

Devon: After what Hilary just pulled, bottoms up.

[Both chuckle]

Mariah: A toast to being a small-font woman.

Devon: Mariah.

Mariah: No, you can drink to that! You can, because it's true. I don't have Hilary's drive, and I am the relatable sidekick. Nothing more.

Devon: Stop it. You know that's not true. Come on. I know you -- you nailed it on the real reason why she's rebranding, though.

Mariah: Ugh. That word. If I hear it one more time...

Devon: She is punishing you for dating me. And I want to apologize for you having to deal with her jealousy like that and the fact that she can't see your potential, because you are strong, okay? You march to the beat of your own drummer. You always tell the truth. And you make me laugh.

Mariah: [Chuckles]

Devon: You're definitely worthy of a big font is what I'm trying to say.

Scott: So mom just laid it out there, said we'd make a good couple? What did you say?

Phyllis: Uh, something like, "can't do it, doll." Ran out of here as fast as I could before she twisted my arm.

Scott: I mean, you know what she's trying to do, right?

Phyllis: No. No. Could you please enlighten me?

Scott: She's trying to get me to stay in town by any means necessary.

Phyllis: Are you suggesting that I am just a means?

Scott: Afraid so. But don't take it too seriously.

Phyllis: What?! She's using me?! How dare her! Lauren! [Laughs]

Nikki: Hi, there.

Noah: Hey! Uh, Victoria's on a call in dad's office.

Nikki: Okay. Looks like everything's ready for the party.

Noah: Yeah. Only thing left are the table decorations. Where's grandpa?

Nikki: Oh, he had a business commitment. He couldn't get out of it.

Noah: Oh, that's too bad. I wanted to give him my condolences about Adam in person.

Nikki: Well, that's very sweet of you. I know he'll be touched by that.

Victoria: Hi, mom.

Nikki: Hi, sweetheart. I came to help you decorate, but I see you have everything covered.

Victoria: Yeah, we're just waiting for the guest of honor to arrive.

Nikki: Oh, he and Tessa will be here any minute.

Noah: Tessa?

Nikki: She was at the house, so reed invited her.

Noah: Nice. Of reed to invite Tessa. I'm gonna go wipe down the bar.

Victoria: Okay.

Nikki: Okay. Listen, uh, before anybody else gets here, I just wanted to tell you I had a long talk with your father, and I told him we're all in agreement that he's no longer a member of the family.

Victoria: Bet that went over well.

Nikki: Well, he pushed back, but I stood my ground, 'cause I am not going to allow him to hurt any of us again.

Faith: We can write about anybody, so I chose grandpa.

Nick: All right. Have you started yet?

Faith: Not yet.

Nick: Why don't you go jump on that outline, you know, get a head start?

Faith: That means you want to talk to grandpa alone, doesn't it?

Nick: Busted.

Victor: Sweetheart, I told you you're a very smart girl, so you go ahead and write that, and I will check it later on, okay?

Faith: Okay.

Victor: Bye. Bye. I don't need any more disparaging words. I've heard all I need to hear from your mother.

Nick: Well, Victoria and I, we support mom's decision 100%.

Victor: Well, I'm glad to hear that, son. I hope that one day you will change your mind. Meanwhile, I'll give you a warning. Don't you come between me and faith.

Nick: I'm her father.

Victor: Where did she choose to live?

Nick: Don't you push me. One call to Paul -- just one -- and you go back to prison.

Hilary: Does that answer your question?

Jordan: Not a one-time thing.

Hilary: You know, the night that we had sex here, it was definitely buzz-worthy. But for our second act, I was thinking that we could set the stage with an actual bed, satin sheets, champagne on ice, romantic music.

Jordan: Ooh.

Hilary: What? Did you have something else in mind?

Jordan: Bowling alley, nachos dripping in cheese, beer, smelly rental shoes.

Hilary: [Laughs]

Devon: Do you want to go upstairs? I'm sorry. Did I make you feel uncomfortable? I didn't mean to.

Mariah: No, no, I just, um... Devon, you're great, and I really enjoy hanging out with you. But when this happens, if this happens, I just want to make sure that you and I are the only two people in the bed. No! No! Uh, sorry, I didn't mean it like that. What I meant was, uh... [Chuckles]

Devon: I, uh, I think I know what you're saying. You, uh, you think it's about Hilary?

Mariah: Maybe a little. Remember, one of the things that you like about me is my honesty. [Chuckles]

Devon: I regret saying that now.

Mariah: [Laughs]

Devon: I'm just joking.

Mariah: It's fine. It's fine. She's in my head, too. Look, why don't we take the night off? We can both do a Hilary cleanse, and then we can try this again. If you want to, that is. If you don't, that's fine, too.

Devon: Mariah, it's my turn to be honest with you.

Mariah: Good, good. 'Cause that's what I want. I want you to be able to be completely honest with me. But if it's bad news, please sugarcoat it a little bit.

Devon: I won't even have to, because I, uh, I will wait as long as you want to. I mean, I want the first time we do anything together to be special for both of us, okay? And I don't want any doubts in that beautiful head of yours about why we're together.

Mariah: Okay. I should go now. [Laughs] Go.

Devon: Okay.

Mariah: [Laughs]

Devon: [Clears throat] Well...

Mariah: Yeah.

Devon: You drive safe.

Mariah: [Chuckles] I will.

Devon: Have a good night.

Mariah: Good night.

Devon: Okay.

Mariah: [Sighs]

Phyllis: [Laughs] I'm a tool! I'm a tool, and she's using me! Do you know how that makes me feel? She is my best friend. You know what she's probably doing?

Scott: What?

Phyllis: She is spreading the word to all the other mama bears who want to keep their little cubs in the cave because she thinks that I am a --

Scott: A bear trap. Yeah, 'cause you catch their sons and you never let them go.

Phyllis: Yes. Yes! No, 'cause that is messed up.

Scott: You know what's messed up is you about to spill the scotch. I got a good buzz going on, and I don't want to lose it.

Phyllis: I am not gonna spill the scotch. I promise.

Scott: Now you're a booze trap.

Phyllis: [Laughs] Ah! [Chuckles]

Scott: Oh, oh, she -- she thinks I'm a dweebie teen who needs his mommy to get a date for the homecoming dance.

Phyllis: [Chuckles]

Scott: I was not a dweeb, and I got my own dates in high school, thank you very much.

Phyllis: Hmm. I am so sure you did.

Scott: You know, at least she has the sense to try and set me up with someone sexy.

Phyllis: Oh. You think I'm sexy?

Scott: Phyllis, you are without a doubt the most sexy woman in this room.

Phyllis: Oh, really?

Scott: Yeah.

Phyllis: Oh, that's great. I'm gonna drink to that.

Scott: Hey, hey, hey! Easy! No, no, no, no, no. Don't. Don't. You're gonna spill it.

Phyllis: I am not. I'm -- [Gasps]

Scott: Oh.

Phyllis: Oh. Oh.

Scott: Precious, precious.

Phyllis: Zen master.

Scott: I'm so sorry. Hold on, hold on.

Phyllis: Zen master.

Scott: It's okay, it's okay.

Phyllis: Thank you.

Scott: Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Phyllis: It's too bad that you're not wearing that towel.

Scott: Oh, yeah?

Phyllis: Yeah.

Scott: Why -- why's that? Why's that?

Noah: Happy birthday, cous.

Reed: Thanks, man.

Noah: Hey, Tessa.

Tessa: Hey.

Noah: Glad you could make it.

Tessa: Oh, I never miss a chance to eat cake or drink free booze.

Noah: Did I tell you that we're actually adding cake to the menu? So it's gonna be here every day, along with the booze.

Tessa: Well, then I guess I'll be here every day, too. [Chuckles]

Reed: Hi, Mom! Hi, Grandma!

Victoria: Oh, hi, honey!

Nikki: Hey, sweetie!

Victoria: I can't believe Dad agreed to stay away tonight.

Nikki: I didn't give him any other choice.

Victor: I'm your father. You show some respect.

Nick: Respect? Your son is dead because of the woman you brought to town.

Victor: And I will deal with that woman once we have caught her!

Nick: Yeah, but until then, you're just living the life in the comfort of your own home.

Victor: I've lost my wife, lost my children, I've been barred from family events, and you think I'm living the life?

Nick: You think you're suffering? You don't even know. The people who are really suffering are Connor and Chelsea. They're the ones paying the price for what you did.

Victor: Well, if you don't think I've been suffering enough... why don't you do something about it? Hit me.

Nick: Stop.

Victor: Come on, hit me!

Nick: Stop! Enough! That is not gonna happen.

Victor: You don't have the guts!

Faith: [Screams]

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Kevin: Whoa!

Phyllis: [Gasps]

Kevin: Sorry, sorry! Oh! Yikes.

Victoria: I know that you didn't work with Chloe. That's not who you are.

Billy: So, why don't you tell me what is going on?

Nick: Faith, there's nothing to worry about.

Faith: Then why did you hit grandpa?

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