Y&R Transcript Wednesday 9/16/15

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Episode # 10755 ~ Devon learns new information about Hilary's disappearance; Cane confronts Joe about his friendship with Lily; the mysterious Luca Santori arrives in Genoa City.

Provided By Suzanne

Dylan: Thanks for taking the time to talk.

Paul: Oh, not at all. It's always good to see you. What's going on? How is the, uh, future father of my grandchild?

Dylan: I'm doing great.

Paul: What about Sharon and the baby?

Dylan: Good.

Paul: I don't supposed you have, uh, any new ultrasounds to show me, do you?

Dylan: [Chuckles] No, no. Not yet. But I'm pretty anxious about that. I tell you, there's -- there's nothing like seeing that baby on the monitor. It's a -- it's just a complete miracle.

Paul: It is. It's an amazing miracle.

Dylan: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have --

Paul: No, no, no. Not at all. I don't want you censoring yourself.

Dylan: I know -- I know it still hurts.

Paul: There will always be a place in my heart for the child I lost, but I don't want that to get in the way of our new grandchild.

Dylan: Well, I wish I was here for that, but I'm actually here for something else.

Paul: Okay. What?

Dylan: I need your help.

Paul: Sure. Whatever I can do.

Dylan: No, officially, as the chief.

Paul: And I suppose it's more complicated than just fixing a parking ticket.

Dylan: A woman's life is at stake.

Neil: Can you hear me? 'Cause, damn it, I am doing everything that I can -- everything, and it's still not working. And I know that I should be taking you to a hospital. I know that, but I can't right now. Hilary. Please. Please forgive me. [Sighs]

Still no sign of the billionaire's bride, Hilary Hamilton, and now the groom has gone MIA. As well. So, what is with the vanishing act? Has Devon finally decided to get out of dodge? Is he hiding off the grid somewhere? Or has he returned to paradise to cover up his tracks? Now, I'm not saying he did the dirty deed. In my interview with him, he flashed those puppy-dog eyes at me and had me crying right alongside him. All I'm saying is that actions speak louder than words. And his actions are saying, "I'm guilty." And if you watch my show, you know that where there's smoke, there's usually the husband.

Devon: Hi. Let's make this brief, if possible, 'cause I've really been trying to keep a low profile and avoid people's stares and questions that I have no answers to.

Gwen: Of course. I wouldn't have asked you here unless I thought it was important. It's about your dad. Things haven't been right.

Devon: Hang on a second. Did you just ask me to come here to talk about the two of you?

Gwen: No, you didn't let me finish.

Devon: Well, there's no need to, 'cause I-I don't have any intention of getting in the middle of your relationship, you know, especially when my wife is missing and I should be looking for her right now.

Gwen: Of course, you should.

Devon: I'm glad we agree on that.

Gwen: Devon, wait.

Devon: Yeah?

Gwen: I know your mind is on Hilary, as it should be, but she's not the only one in trouble. Neil is, too.

Kevin: Here we are.

Mariah: Thank you for, uh, walking me inside.

Kevin: Of course. Uh, it's the least I could do after last night.

Mariah: [Chuckles] I guess, uh, Noah and Marisa aren't here yet.

Kevin: Uh, do you want me to wait around until they get here?

Mariah: No. I mean, no, I-I don't want you to be late for work.

Kevin: Okay. Well, uh...you have a great day.

Mariah: You, too. [Chuckles]

Kevin: Bye.

Noah: Hey, Mariah.

Marisa: Great morning, huh?

Noah: Even better night.

Mariah: Are you guys just gonna stand there and make googly eyes at each other or are you gonna actually get to work?

Joe: Touchdown! G.C. Mustangs win!

Lily: What? You won?

Joe: Yeah, well, thanks to, uh, Aaron Rodgers here. Little man's got quite the cannon.

Lily: Oh, my God, honey. I'm so proud of you.

Joe: Best game since the '67 ice bowl.

Lily: Aww, thank you so much for stepping in for me. I really owe you one.

Joe: Yeah. No problem. How'd the, uh, whole emergency work out?

Lily: Oh, it was fine. The plumber said that it could have been a lot worse, so it all worked out.

Joe: Well, great on all fronts. I'm just -- I'm glad I could help.

Lily: Yeah, thank you.

Colin: Hey, champ.

Charlie: Grandpa, we won't the game!

Colin: So I heard! Listen, why don't you take the chauffeur here and go over to that table over there and celebrate with some doughnuts, huh?

Lily: [Gasps]

Joe: Sound good?

Charlie: Yeah.

Lily: [Chuckles]

Colin: My, my. Looks like something straight out of a Norman Rockwell picture.

Lily: Joe was just helping me out by taking Charlie to his football game. That's it.

Colin: Yeah. How long has Cane been away now? A couple of days and already you're getting back into your bad habits.

Lily: Okay. [Scoffs] First of all, it's nothing like that, and second of all, you should not be talking to me about bad habits.

Colin: A-as a person who realizes the error of his ways, I've cleaned up my act.

Lily: [Laughs] Yeah, right.

Colin: You don't see me fawning over some ex-lover here.

Lily: I'm not fawning over Joe. He's a friend.

Colin: I don't think Cane would see it that way. In fact, I don't think Cane would be happy at all.

Cane: What wouldn't I be happy at all about?

Charlie: [Laughs]

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Joe: Ah, there you go, sport.

Charlie: Daddy!

Cane: Come here. Come here. I missed you. I missed you, little mate, so much. So, what else have I missed?

Charlie: Uncle Joe came to my game. He taught me how to throw a spiral.

Cane: Uncle Joe, huh? How about that.

Cane: Yeah, anybody could have done it.

Colin: Anyone could have done it, but you did.

Lily: What are you doing home today? I didn't know you were coming back.

Cane: Well, uh --

Michael: Oh, that was my fault. [Chuckles] I managed to book us on a last-minute flight, rushed this one to the plane figuring he could contact you from there, but there was no Wi-Fi. Sorry.

Colin: You know, some things are just kind of meant to happen. I mean, like you coming home unexpectedly. Surprises -- well, they're good, right?

Cane: Nothing like them, dad, huh?

Colin: Told you he'd be unhappy. Well, I think I got to take off. Um, good to have you back. Not a moment too soon. And as for you, champ, your next time, how about inviting grandpa to the game? Got it? Good.

Cane: See you, dad.

Lily: It was all very happenstance, the way that Joe took him to the game.

Joe: Yeah, it's just, you know, one of those things.

Cane: Sounds like a lot of fun. Wish I could have been there.

Michael: Well, I better follow up on that new lead from Paul.

Lily: What new lead?

Michael: I'll let Cane tell you about it. Um, I'll call you with any news.

Cane: Thanks, Michael.

Lily: So, uh, Michael sounded almost hopeful. What did you two find out?

Dylan: I think Colin may have had a hand in Hilary's disappearance. Okay, I got some information that --

Paul: No. Hold on a second. Just back up. I didn't even know you were looking into this. I mean, last I heard, you promised Sharon that you wouldn't get involved.

Dylan: Yeah, you're right. You're right. But Sharon and I -- we had a great talk. Uh, she changed her mind. She says that I have this need to help others, which I do. I think that runs in the family.

Paul: Even if it could possibly put you in danger?

Dylan: Well, that's why I'm coming to you with the information so you can do all the heavy lifting from here.

Paul: [Chuckles] Okay. Why don't you tell me what you know?

Dylan: Okay. This is from Esther at this point.

Paul: Esther? The maid Esther?

Dylan: Yes. Just hear me out, okay?

Paul: All right.

Dylan: She saw and heard some things while she was living at chancellor place -- suspicious phone calls, Colin whispering into the phone, keeping secrets from Jill, and now, most recently, he's spending large sums of money.

Paul: Okay, well, he could very possibly have access to large sums of money.

Dylan: No, I-I know, but really, it's a coincidence? The phone calls, the keeping secrets, and, all of a sudden, spending large amounts of money at the same time Devon and Hilary got married and now Hilary's disappeared?

Paul: You're right. Colin does have a very significant criminal history, one that does involve kidnapping.

Dylan: Okay, so let's look at his bank records.

Paul: I can't do that without a warrant. And I don't think there's a self-respecting judge who's gonna sign a warrant based on the hunch of a housekeeper.

Dylan: Okay, so that's it? We just leave it at that?

Paul: I didn't say that. You know, when potentially there's a life at stake... there are ways to circumvent the system.

Devon: What's going on with Neil?

Gwen: Well, he and I have been getting close. We've been spending a lot of time together lately. I didn't know if you knew that or not.

Devon: Yeah, I knew that. And I'm fine with it. I don't -- there's no need for my approval or anything if that's what you're getting at.

Gwen: Give me a break, Devon. I'm concerned about him. Okay? He got a prescription for something to help him sleep.

Devon: Lily has told me about this. I know.

Gwen: Well, then you probably know my sister and I found him coming out of a medical-supply closet at the hospital.

Devon: Medical-supply closet, like, with gloves and masks and all that?

Gwen: And drugs.

Devon: Neil has a drinking problem. He's never been into drugs. Are you sure it was him?

Gwen: Yeah. We talked to him. That's how we found out about the prescription. He claimed to see some reporters and duck out of sight.

Devon: That seems plausible enough.

Gwen: Yeah, Emma and I thought so, too, until her hospital security badge vanished only for Neil to conveniently find it in the cushions of the couch that I had already searched.

Devon: Did you confront him about it?

Gwen: Yeah. And he blew up on me. And I felt really guilty about it until I remembered that addicts will sometimes shift the blame onto someone else so that they're not found out.

Devon: Yeah, they do. Addicts will also rationalize substituting one habit for another sometimes, but...that doesn't make any sense for Neil. There has to be another explanation for that.

Gwen: Well, I hope so. But I'm really worried about him. You know, I think he's taking this Hilary thing a lot harder than anyone thinks.

Devon: Poor guy.

Neil: They're talking about Devon like he's a murderer. He's not a murderer. And you -- you were never supposed to get hurt. You know, you were never supposed to be here for this long like this. And that doctor -- I paid off that doctor on the island. I gave him money. He -- he treated you. He said you were gonna be okay. He was sure that you were gonna be okay. And you're not. And I don't understand why. Why, Hilary? Why are you not okay? Why? Why?! Just -- come on. Give me -- give me something. Just -- why don't you squeeze my hand? Squeeze my hand or open your eyes. Do something. Let me know that you're okay. Please!

[Cell phone rings]

Neil: Yeah? Uh, Devon, what's up?

Devon: That's what I'd like to know. You and I need to talk.

Neil: Yeah. You're right. We do need to talk.

[Keyboard clacking]

Dylan: Thanks for doing your magic. I know it's not exactly, like, you know --

Kevin: Uh, ta, ta, ta, ta. I don't know what you're talking about, okay?

Dylan: Yeah, okay.

Kevin: But if there's one thing I've learned, it's to always trust Esther's instincts. She knew there was problems with Chloe and I before we did. And it's not exactly like Colin is a boy scout or whatever the Australian version of that is. So...let's see what he's up to.

Dylan: Right there. There's his credit-card receipts.

Kevin: I don't see anything out of the ordinary. No charges from virgin Gorda.

Dylan: I mean, he's smart enough to use cash or get somebody else to do his dirty work. Let's check his accounts, his holdings. Whoa.

Dylan: "Whoa" is right. Those are some hefty cash deposits.

Kevin: From right before Devon and Hilary's wedding.

Dylan: So, is there any large withdrawals?

Kevin: Uh...

[Keyboard clacking]

Kevin: A little bit here, a little bit here. Look at that one from the end of July. [Chuckles]

Dylan: "Touch of class escorts?"

Kevin: [Laughs]

Dylan: What?

Kevin: Well, at least now we know how he's spending his time when Jill is out of town.

Dylan: That's too much information.

Kevin: Mm.

Dylan: Is there any money spent on airline tickets?

[Keyboard clacking]

Kevin: Uh, I don't know, but why don't you take this in case we come up empty-handed on everything else.

Dylan: Thanks a lot.

Kevin: You never know. You could get...lucky. Let's see...

Charlie: Arr!

Cane: Arr! Ahoy, matey. Now, why don't you go show the pirate kitchen hands what daddy got for you in the Caribbean, okay? And don't poke anyone in the eye with the sword, all right? It'll hurt.

Charlie: Arr!

Cane: Arr.

Lily: [Laughs]

Charlie: Arr!

Joe: Well, you guys, uh, are so blessed with that little man. You can't do any wrong in his eyes. He was talking about you the whole time at the game. He really missed you.

Cane: Yeah. I missed him, too. I wish I was here. But you know, at least the, uh, leg work we did in virgin Gorda paid off, so...

Lily: How so?

Cane: We found a witness who saw a woman on a gurney being loaded into a plane.

Lily: Oh, well, that could have been anyone.

Cane: Yeah, but it was a private plane and it was a remote airfield, so it looks like they wanted to stay out of view.

Lily: Well, if Hilary was on a gurney, then she must have been hurt.

Joe: Yeah, do you know where she was going?

Lily: Yeah, and who put her on the plane?

Cane: Well, we don't know that yet, but Michael and I, uh -- we're trying to find the pilot, but the good thing is we found the flight log, so we know that the plane was going from virgin Gorda to Dallas.

Lily: Dallas? What's in Dallas?

Cane: Uh, I don't know, but that's what Paul's gonna maybe help us figure out.

Lily: Well, I guess the good news is that if Hilary was carried off on a gurney, then she must have still been alive.

Neil: Hey.

Devon: Hey, man.

Neil: Hey. It's good to e you.

Devon: Good to see you, too.

Neil: You know, I was really worried when I heard you were going back down to the island.

Devon: Yeah.

Neil: You do realize that they could have thrown you into jail, right? I'm surprised you even made it back.

Devon: I would have stayed there longer if I had to, but once Michael and I put together that Hilary most likely left the place --

Neil: What? How did you find out about that? I-I mean, um, what did you find out?

Devon: I'll tell you about that later. I want to talk about you right now.

Neil: Me? What do you want -- what?

Devon: Yeah. What's, uh -- what's been going on with you? You don't -- you don't seem like yourself lately.

Neil: Yeah, sure I have been.

Devon: No, you don't. I-I know I've been wrapped up in my own stuff to notice, but I can -- I can kind of see it right now. You're, like, a little nervous and jittery.

Neil: Mm. Mm, yeah. Of course I am. I mean, everywhere I go, the press has already tried and convicted you, right? I mean, there's nothing we can do about it, so... look, yeah, I am. I'm -- I'm on edge. I am -- I am feeling kind of...

Devon: Yeah, Gwen told me.

Neil: Told -- told you what?

Devon: Um... dad, did you steal drugs from a medical-supply closet?

Neil: She told you that?

Devon: Are you taking pills instead of drinking?

Neil: Hey, man. You got the wrong guy, Jack, okay? I didn't steal any drugs from a supply closet. What do you think I am? You think I'm a junkie? I'm just trying to -- I am --

Devon: You're what? You're what? Tell me what's going on.

Neil: I don't know what to say to you. I don't know why you're -- why are you asking me this?

Devon: 'Cause I want an honest answer. That's all. I just want the truth from you. Please.

Neil: Okay. Okay. You want the truth? You want honesty? Then I'm gonna give it to you. I am gonna tell you the truth here. I'm responsible for Hilary's disappearance.

Noah: How much cleaner is it gonna get?

Mariah: I'm a perfectionist.

Noah: [Scoffs] Okay. Since when?

Mariah: There. Happy?

Noah: Yeah, actually, I am. But I'm kind of getting the feeling that you're not.

Mariah: Does this work for you?

Kevin: Sure. If you're gonna get your teeth cleaned.

Marisa: What's the matter, if you don't mind my asking?

Mariah: I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, okay?

Noah: [Chuckles] Okay, this is a little crabby, even for you. What's going on? Is it the job?

Mariah: No.

Marisa: Money?

Mariah: No.

Noah: Kevin?

Marisa: Kevin who?

Noah: There it is. Now we know the root of the problem.

Mariah: There is no problem. There is actually nothing at all.

Noah: I mean, we have noticed that you two have been doing the, uh, "will they, won't they" dance for a little while now.

Marisa: Well, did you take my advice last night? Did you stay in the suite?

Mariah: Yes. We did. And it was... it was just awful.

Marisa: Oh, no.

Noah: That bad, huh?

Mariah: It was duller than reading a dictionary. I have had better sex in my sleep.

Noah: Okay. Didn't need to know that. I get it.

Marisa: Well, wait. Does Kevin feel the same way?

Mariah: No! That's what makes this all so horrible. He had a great time. He woke up this morning smiling from ear to ear like I'd made his life complete. How do I break it to him that I...

Marisa: Faked it?

Mariah: [Sighs] How can I disappoint him like that?

Michael: Oh, hard at work, I see.

Kevin: Yeah, well, if I am slacking off, it's your fault.

Michael: My fault? What did I do?

Kevin: You only ruined my life, encouraged me to take another risk at love, which I did last night with Mariah.

Michael: Oh. And...? What happened?

Kevin: Nothing. At least, not for me.

Michael: Oh, uh. You mean, you couldn't...

Kevin: Of course I could. I just mean there was no...

Michael: No what?

Kevin: I don't know. No chemistry.

Michael: You're kidding me.

Kevin: Does this look like the face of someone who's kidding? I've gotten more excited writing computer code.

Michael: Well, what about Mariah? What did she think?

Kevin: That's the worst part. She had the time of her life. Woke up this morning, she was smiling from ear to ear. It's like I made her life complete.

Michael: [Sighs] How did she react when you told her that, um, you didn't feel the same way?

Kevin: I didn't. I lied.

Michael: You lied?

Kevin: What was I supposed to do? Tell her the truth and break her heart?

Michael: Yeah. Anything rather than lead her on. I mean, that's not fair to her or to you. If this relationship has nowhere to go, you got to be honest with her before you wind up losing everything, including your friendship.

Kevin: You're right. I better get this over with.

Michael: What? Now? You're on the clock.

Kevin: [Scoffs] I get a lunch break, you know.

Michael: All right. Good luck.

Kevin: All right. Thanks, mike.

Paul: Come in! Hey, Michael. I didn't know you were back in the country.

Michael: I got a lead on Hilary's whereabouts. I need your help tracking it down. It's a long shot, but it's all I got right now.

Lily: Uh, Joe, would you actually mind giving Cane and I a minute to talk?

Cane: Hey, hey. We don't need a minute. No privacy needed here. We're fine. You can stay.

Lily: I just wanted to explain why Joe took Charlie to the game.

Cane: You don't have to explain. It's okay. I understand. You were busy and needed some help, and Joe was here. He volunteered. I appreciate it. Thank you.

Joe: Yeah, I wasn't trying to be forward. A pipe busted in the kitchen next to the electrical room, and --

Lily: Yeah. Joe was here. I was in a bind. It just -- it made sense, you know?

Cane: Of course it made sense. I understand. It's not a problem. Really, it isn't. I'm grateful. Thanks, mate.

Joe: Yeah.

Cane: Cool.

Joe: Of course. Any-- anytime.

Dylan: Have a seat.

India: What? Here? I don't do public scenes.

Dylan: Scenes? No, no. I just -- I just want to talk.

India: For what I charge? Suit yourself, but it's cash up front.

Dylan: Cash? I thought you took credit cards.

India: The agency does for their cut. Me -- cash only.

Dylan: [Sighs]

India: Tell mama your troubles, baby.

Dylan: [Chuckles] Um, I'd rather talk about Devon Hamilton's bachelor party.

India: I do a lot of bachelor parties.

Dylan: I'm sure you do. But apparently there was something special about this one.

India: Even if there was, I have a strict confidentiality policy.

Dylan: [Sighs] I'm sure you heard about Devon's wife, that she's missing. It's been all over the news.

India: [Chuckles] Watch the news? Why would I do that?

Dylan: Well, I'm, uh, just trying to find her, make sure she's not in danger, so I would appreciate it if you could shed any light on this. [Sighs]

India: I didn't have sex with Devon, but I did get paid extra to say that I did, even shot a video that was supposed to convince him that we consummated the...transaction.

Dylan: Who would want Devon to think that he was unfaithful?

India: Ask the man who shelled out the big bucks.

Neil: I am so sorry, son. I-I did a terrible thing.

Devon: Stop blaming yourself.

Neil: Yeah, but I --

Devon: Please. No, no, no. Stop. Okay, I get it. I understand that you feel guilty and like you brought this on because you wished bad things to me and Hilary when you found out about us, but that doesn't mean that you're responsible for her disappearing.

Neil: Okay, I -- you have no idea --

Devon: Dad, it doesn't work like that, okay? This isn't your fault. I don't want to see you tearing yourself up like this. All right? It kills me to see you doing this to yourself.

Neil: Can you just listen to me for a minute, okay? I -- the last thing I want to do is cause you any more pain, okay?

Devon: Great. Then tell me the truth. That's all I want from you. Just tell me the real truth. Please.

Neil: The truth. Okay. All right. I'm gonna tell you the truth.

Marisa: We never should have rushed things with Mariah and Kevin. Maybe if they'd gone at their own pace, they would --

Mariah: We would be 90 years old and celibate.

Noah: [Sighs] Well, at least now you guys know that there's no future between you two.

Mariah: No. I know it. How am I gonna break it to Kevin? What's gonna happen when I do? He's probably gonna stop talking to me, and then I'm gonna have to move out or he's gonna kick me out. I just -- I don't understand why it couldn't have been amazing.

Noah: Some things aren't meant to be.

Mariah: Yeah, just once, I wish they were.

Marisa: Don't we need to do inventory in the back?

Noah: No. I did that yesterday.

Marisa: No, I-I mean the other inventory that you forgot to do.

Noah: Right. Oh, yeah. Uh, just -- it's hard to keep track of all the inventories around here. Yeah, thank you for reminding me. We should...do that.

Kevin: So... about last night...

India: This session's over.

Colin: Uh, hope I didn't mess up your date.

Dylan: No, it wasn't a date.

Colin: Hey, it's none of my business if you want to go and explore India. We -- we just won't tell the fiancée.

Dylan: Is that what you said to Devon? Threaten to expose a nonexistent affair with a prostitute? Or did you just go straight for the blackmail?

Colin: [Sighs] You know, us guys -- we -- we have this sacred bond. I mean, what happens at the bachelor party -- it stays at the bachelor party.

Dylan: Yeah, except that you're not like most guys, because most guys don't blackmail people. So, what happened? Devon not pay up and you -- you kept your word and you told Hilary that her new groom was unfaithful? Is that what happened? Something go down? It get a little out of hand?

Colin: Somehow, I'm not seeing a police badge on you. You might want to lay off, pal.

Dylan: A woman's missing. Nobody's gonna lay off until she's found.

Neil: [Sighs] All right, um... I've been drinking again. Uh, not much, but, you know, here and there.

Devon: Dad, one drink is too much, man.

Neil: I know. I know. I thought I could control it, but obviously I'm not thinking straight in my life right now. I'm -- I mean, I-I-I took a drink because I-I had to forget about what was happening with Hilary, her disappearance, everything that's been going on in my life.

Devon: I get it. I get it. But you know that's not the way to go about things.

Neil: Yeah. I know. I'm gonna go to meetings. I am. I'm gonna go to meetings, and I'm gonna -- I'm gonna get sober, and I-I promise I'll kick it.

Devon: Listen to me, please. Know that I will do anything and everything that I can to help you with it.

Neil: I don't deserve this from you.

Devon: What are you talking about? Come on. Please stop beating yourself up for me, all right? Let's not do that. Let's put the past where it belongs, and that's behind us. Right now, we need to focus on getting you better and finding Hilary, which I think we've taken a big step towards.

Neil: What do you mean?

Devon: Michael and I have a solid lead. There was a private jet that was seen leaving virgin Gorda the same day that Hilary disappeared. So I think that she could be closer than we thought.

Michael: Devon is hopeful that someone has transferred Hilary to the states for treatment.

Paul: [Chuckles] I'd like to believe that, too, but at this point, that doesn't seem like the most logical conclusion.

Michael: Yeah, I know. I just don't have the heart to tell Devon yet.

[Telephone rings]

Paul: Excuse me. Chief Williams. What? You're sure about that? Okay. Okay. Thanks for following up for me. I owe you one. Wow. You're not gonna believe this. you want a drink or -- or something to eat? We have, um -- we have olives. And we have pimentos. There's nothing like a good pimento to start your day.

Kevin: Look, I'm gonna pass on all that, 'cause we need to talk about what happened, okay. The thing is, when you get right down to it, the sex was -- it was totally not great.

Mariah: Yeah, look, I know that's how you feel, and I think that that's really flattering. It's -- did you say not great?

Kevin: And I hate to disappoint you, 'cause I know how great it was for you.

Mariah: It wasn't!

Kevin: And I just wish that, for me, it had been but it wasn't? Did you say it wasn't? Like, you had as bad a time as I had?

Mariah: Oh, my God. It was awful.

Kevin: Awkward. Boring.

Mariah: A complete snooze-fest.

Kevin: [Sighs]

Mariah: [Sighs] I have never been so relieved in my life to have not turned somebody on.

Kevin: Tell me about it.

Mariah: So, can we go back to being friends?

Kevin: I can stand that if you can.

Mariah: I will find a way.

Kevin: [Chuckles]]]

Mariah: Okay. Well, now that we're friends again, um...a little bit of advice. That thing that you do with the earlobes.

Kevin: Oh, yeah, yeah.

Mariah: Yeah, yeah. That's not good.

Kevin: Huh.

Mariah: No, it's -- it's bad.

Kevin: Really? I-I-I've never had any complaints before.

Mariah: Yeah, they were probably being polite.

Kevin: While we're on the subject of what not to do, that growl thing that you did -- do not do that again.

Mariah: That was not -- that was not a growl.

Kevin: That was a growl. You growled. You scared me.

Mariah: It's -- it's not a growl. It's like -- it's like a purr.

Kevin: Mm... tomato, tomahto.

Colin: Listen to me, dick Tracy. I don't know what happened to Hilary, but it had nothing to do with me. I haven't crossed any city lines, much less gone to the virgin islands.

Dylan: Then why do I get the feeling you're not telling me something?

Colin: 'Cause you're a guy with a suspicious nose who finds everything suspicious. Look, I'm no saint in this town, but I'm not into kidnapping. I have a quiet existence. I'm a-an upstanding citizen of Genoa City.

Dylan: Who just made a nation to eor service.

Colin: Oh, well, I like to be a philanthropist.

Dylan: Yeah, who put Devon in a, uh, compromising position to get something out of it.

Colin: If I wanted to get something out of it, do you not think I would have offered up a ransom note by now?

Dylan: Yeah, but you're not giving me answers.

Colin: You're asking the wrong person the wrong questions. Now, you look for someone with an ax to grind or... someone who doesn't want the happy couple to live happily ever after.

Back to the Hilary case. The police are claiming there's nothing new to report, but perhaps they're looking in the wrong place. If my interview with husband Devon is any indication, this playboy turned grieving newlywed has been investing his sizable fortune in a good acting coach.

Devon: Me loving Hilary is not extraordinary. The fact that that amazing woman loves me as much as she does -- that's remarkable. And the fact that she wants and has chosen to spend the rest of her life with me -- that's a blessing. And I'm not going to rest until my beautiful wife is back home with me.

Lily: So, now that we're all caught up, why don't we head home. I know Mattie will be excited to see you.

Cane: I'd like that. I'd like some family time. [Smooches]

Lily: Okay. Well, I'll get our little pirate.

Joe: Yeah. That's one special kid you have there. It was a lot of fun spending time with him at the game. I really appreciate that. You know, hopefully, we can get back on track with our friendship.

Cane: We are not friends, and we will never be friends. You understand that?

Joe: Cane, I said I was sorry. I thought you understood.

Cane: Oh, I understand more than you know. Stop moving in on my wife.

Joe: Look, you got it all wrong, Cane.

Cane: You have been after lily since you first saw her, and you are still after her.

Joe: No.

Cane: What is it? You got a taste of her? Is that what it is? You decided you want some more? One more time? Is that it?

Joe: Okay, look, what happened between lily and I -- that was a mistake. It's over. I swear. Okay, she and I put that in the past. I thought you did, too.

Cane: I may have forgiven her, but I'm not gonna forgive you. You took advantage of our breakup to go and sleep with my wife. And you know, for that, you know what I should do?

Joe: Yeah, what? What? You want to hit me, Cane? If that makes it all better, then by all means, go ahead.

Cane: See, Joe, I'd love to. I'm not going to. That's gonna make you look like the victim here. You know that, don't you? What are you even doing here in the city still? Why are you here?

Joe: I've got business, all right? Is that all right with you?

Cane: As long as that business means you're nowhere near my wife or my kids, yes.

Lily: I found this little one terrorizing the kitchen staff with his sword.

Cane: Well, let's go and blow this popsicle stand. Come on, mate. Let's go.

Charlie: Thank you, uncle Joe, for taking me to my game.

Joe: Yeah, yeah. Of course.

Lily: Is everything okay here?

Cane: Yeah. Everything's great. Joe and I settled everything, haven't we, Joe? Come on, guys. Let's go. Let's have some family time.

Noah: I'm glad we finished that inventory. I hate counting all those lemons and limes.

Marisa: Yeah. Now we can get back to work.

Mariah: It's okay, guys. It's safe to come in.

Kevin: Mariah and I are done talking.

Mariah: And we are back to being friends again.

Kevin: Just friends.

Mariah: [Laughs]

Marisa: You seem happy about that.

Mariah: We are.

Kevin: Yeah. So happy that we're gonna go out and celebrate never having sex together again.

Mariah: Never.

Noah: I think that's something that we can all celebrate.

Marisa: Yeah. Ha-have fun.

Mariah: See you.

Noah: Can you imagine celebrating never having sex again?

Marisa: [Sighs] Well, that is one problem that we don't have to worry about.

Noah: No. It's not.

Marisa: [Chuckles]

Noah: Mm, hold on. Um, sorry, pal. We're -- uh, we're not open.

Luca: That's okay. I'm here to see my wife. Hello, Marisa.

Devon: Is there any news? What did Paul have to say?

Michael: Uh, well, he did some digging for us, but what he found -- uh, I don't know what to make of it.

Devon: Why? What is it?

Michael: The, uh, private plane that we assumed Hilary was on -- it landed in Dallas from virgin Gorda.

Devon: We already knew that.

Michael: Well, then it took off again, and then, 24 hours later, it returned.

Devon: Well, where the hell did it go in between? That could be where Hilary is.

Michael: That's the problem. We don't know. Nobody filed a flight plan. Hilary could be anywhere.

Dylan: Neil.

Neil: Oh, Dylan. Hi.

Dylan: You all right?

Neil: Yeah, I-I'm fine. I'm fine, considering the situation. Um, here. Take a seat if you want it. I got to get going.

Dylan: There's something you might want to hear first. I had a very interesting, uh, conversation with Colin.

Neil: With Colin, huh? About what?

Dylan: Uh, about Hilary and how you might be involved in her disappearance.

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Neil: I've been lying to you.

Sharon: Are you saying I should check myself into a facility?

Nick: At least until you get the situation stabilized.

Ian: I guess I better confess why I'm really out here.

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