Y&R Transcript Tuesday 9/15/15

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Episode # 10754 ~ Jack extends an olive branch to Ashley; Kevin & Mariah turn up the heat; Neil scrambles to cover his tracks.

Provided By Suzanne

Abby: Hello. Come in. Come in. Grab a glass. This bottle is on me.

Mariah: All right.

Kevin: And we're toasting to...?

Noah: Uh, we're -- we're not sure.

Marisa: I think we're toasting Abby.

Abby: Um, I totally heard that, and, yes, I am not ashamed to say it. We are toasting me and my latest business triumph. Yes. We are toasting. To Newman enterprises and their continued world domination.

Noah: Okay, so, to my aunt being brainwashed, then.

Mariah: Yeah. It is against my religion to, uh, toast to Newmans. No, seriously. I mean, you can take the girl out of the cult, but you can't take the cult out of the girl.

Abby: Well, congratulations. You two are the world's biggest party poopers.

Mariah: But I'm sure that Kevin here will toast you. He is a huge fan of the local moguls, and as we speak is right smack dab in the middle of the titans and reveling in the power.

Jack: Hey.

Ashley: No. Stop with the formalities. I'm still angry with you.

Jack: Yes. That much I got.

Ashley: I can't believe you, hiring Gabe "on behalf of jabot."

Jack: And yet, it turns out employing Gabe was a good thing.

Ashley: Really? Well, I guess --

Jack: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm here to apologize.

Ashley: I'm listening.

Jack: You were right. My getting involved with Victor was unwise.

Ashley: Really? So, the paragon project isn't real. It's not a threat after all.

Jack: Exactly the opposite. It is real, it is happening, and we have to be ready.

Phyllis: How's it going out there, Fred?

Ian: Oh, swimmingly, if you'll excuse the pun.

Phyllis: Oh, I don't know if I can. How's our buddy, Mr. Trout, doing?

Ian: To properly gut a fish, you need nerves of steel and a razor-sharp blade. Fortunately, I have both.

Emma: I've retraced my steps. I've searched every inch of my house, my locker, the break room. I have no idea what happened to my ID.

Well, that badge is your responsibility. No badge, no work. It's that simple.

Stitch: I was just in the medication closet. The drug cabinet wasn't secure. Wide open for anyone to grab whatever they want. Come on. Do we need a refresher course on responsible staff behavior?

Emma: I am responsible. It's not like I leave my ID lying around.

Neil: See this badge? You know what I did to steal this badge? Oh, my goodness. I stole this to get these fluids to save your life. And I think we got enough for now. I don't understand it. How did this thing not break when it fell over? Maybe I didn't brace it properly. That could be. Or...I know you didn't do it. And if someone had come in here, they would have seen you, and then it would have all been over. They wouldn't understand what I'm doing for you. They wouldn't understand that I'm just trying to get you healthy again, back up on your feet so you can tell everyone what happened at that cliff. [Sighs] Ah, this -- this is -- this is not what I wanted at all. One moment in time. One impulse. And I can't take it back. I can't get away from it. [Sighs] How many more laws am I gonna have to break before this is all over? Come on, come on, come on. Hilary, you got to wake up, okay? It's time for you to wake up.

[Cell phone rings]

Neil: Yeah. Hey. Hi, Gwen.

Gwen: I wasn't sure if you'd answer. You were so preoccupied when you left last night.

Neil: Well, it seemed kinder to let you sleep. I haven't been getting much sleep since Devon became a suspect.

Gwen: Is that it?

Neil: Maybe not. Maybe the reason I didn't spend the night is...guilt.

Gwen: About what? About being with me?

Neil: Feeling good, uh, feeling happy, you know, for once while my son's life is -- is falling apart.

Gwen: Well, I'm glad you felt happy, even if it was just for a little bit.

[Cell phone beeps]

Neil: Go on. I'm not going anywhere.

Gwen: Hang on.

[Beeps]

Gwen: Hey.

Emma: I just got railed on at work because I can't find my I.D. Gwen, I-I need you to turn the apartment upside down again if you have to. Without this job, I can't make rent. I-I can't do anything.

Gwen: Okay. Just -- just try not to freak out.

[Beeps]

Gwen: Neil?

Neil: Yeah. I'm right here where you left me.

Gwen: Yeah, but now I got to go. Emma is climbing the walls because she can't find her I.D. Badge. She's convinced she's gonna get fired.

Neil: Okay. Go. I'd be happy to help you look for it.

Gwen: Really? You want to come over?

Neil: I would take any excuse to be invited over again.

Noah: What does she mean? Between the titans?

Kevin: Um, it's just some computer work I'm doing for Victor. It's not a big deal.

Noah: Not a big deal, but it's supposed to be confidential?

Kevin: Have you met your grandfather? Does he seem like the forthcoming, my-life-is-an-open-book type? Everything he does is confidential.

Noah: I'm not asking about everything he does. I just want to know what you're gonna do for him.

Kevin: [Sighs] What do you want from me? It pays well.

Marisa: I'm sure it does. Victor offered me half a million dollars to leave town.

Kevin: That's how much he doesn't want you two together? That's a whole lot of "do not want."

Marisa: Oh, no. That's nothing. Victor's getting lazy. When he didn't want my mom and Nick together, he hired me to pose as a ghost and haunt her. That's creative.

Marisa: She's joking, right?

Noah: No. No. Yeah, he just bribed you. On my aunt Victoria's wedding day, he had her arrested and thrown in jail. Starting to think that grandpa doesn't, I don't know, like romance.

Abby: Can we stop bashing my father now?

Kevin: Is it bashing if it involves facts?

Abby: Oh, I don't know, chipmunk. Knocked off any banks recently? Oh, wait. I'm sorry. Was that bashing?

Kevin: Hurtful. That was hurtful, Abby. And no.

Abby: And you're not so innocent, miss stalker who locked me in a loft. And I'm sure my dad was probably just trying to gauge your loyalty. And you passed, so win-win.

Marisa: And you're loyalty to your family is clear, as well. And I can...respect that.

Kevin: Time out. Abby's leaving out the part where she sued her father for half a billion dollars.

Marisa: Half a what?!

Abby: We're in a better place now. My father and I have a mutual respect and understanding. And, in fact, he thinks I'm brilliant after my latest coup. Which is what we were toasting before I was so rudely interrupted. I am making our fashion line, Chelsea 2.0, a massive success -- an internet-sales superstar.

Kevin: Internet sales. Online orders. The Newman system.

Abby: That's how business works now, Kevin. It's called the internet. You might have heard of it.

Kevin: Except...

Abby: Except what, buzzkill?

Mariah: Why don't you ask him what his super-secret job for your daddy is?

Mariah: Well?

Kevin: Victor hired me to monitor a potential breach of the Newman computer system, so your business coup may just be a big ol' glitch.

Jack: Gabe did some recon with Victor's tech specialists and found out there's been an effort to hack into Newman's cyber system.

Ashley: That's unbelievable. So, the paragon project is real.

Jack: Victor and I were going to share everything that we learned. I gave Victor a chance to tell me the truth or to lie to my face.

Ashley: And he chose door number two.

Jack: Not a word of mention of any effort to infiltrate Newman's system. No word of warning on how we might identify a possible hack.

Ashley: He left us wide open. You know, he can be such a piece of work. Unbelievable.

Jack: Our cyber system's fully protected, correct?

Ashley: Oh, firewall after firewall. Yeah.

Jack: I think our next move should be to get some backup on everything that's attached to jabot -- phones, laptops --

Ashley: I'm texting our IT department right now. Just don't tell me I have to actually thank Gabe, please.

Jack: Hey. He's doing what we paid him to do.

Ashley: A job you hired him to do and I disagreed with it, of course.

Jack: We're not in competition. We are a team. Who could protect this company any better than we can? Look. It doesn't matter who has the title. Both you and I are gonna protect each other and protect our dad's company.

Ashley: Protect it from whom, though? We don't even know who the real enemy is.

Ian: Now, just a little wiggle of the blade here.

Phyllis: Yeah. No. I'm gonna be right here.

Ian: [Chuckles] You? Squeamish? I don't believe it.

Phyllis: Not as rule, but you know, sometimes I'm not as tough as people think.

Ian: Well, it's bloody work, but it's respectful. I mean, we're seeing this fish for what it is, warts and all -- or guts and all.

Phyllis: Ugh.

Ian: [Chuckles]

Phyllis: That is an interesting perspective.

Ian: I mean, how can we appreciate anything if we don't see and know all of the time and energy that went into it reaching its final goal? I mean, some say it's the journey, not the destination, but me, I vote for both. Why not? We should be able to enjoy all of it.

Phyllis: All that from fish entrails.

Ian: A question for you, Phyllis.

Phyllis: Yes?

Ian: Why did you invite me to dinner?

Phyllis: Fred, there is something about the way you see the world that's refreshing. A little cockeyed, but it's real. I could use some of that right now.

Ian: Well, thank you. That's very flattering. It'll be a pleasure to fillet your fish for you.

[Both laugh]

Ian: It's too bad your husband missed out because of business.

Phyllis: Oh, not just business. His mission in life. Victor.

Ian: His mission is named Victor? [Chuckles] Wha-what is a Victor, exactly?

Phyllis: Fred, it's not even worth talking about.

Ian: Oh.

Phyllis: Now, I have a question for you.

Ian: Ask away.

Phyllis: I told you I cannot cook a lick, and yet you still showed up. What's in this for you?

Ian: Oh, my new friend, you got me. I've been holding back crucial information all this time.

Jack: If we don't know who the enemy is, I assume that means you've eliminated Joe Clark from the list of possibilities.

Ashley: He has no interest in pursuing a vendetta whatsoever.

Jack: Even though Victor pulled out of their development deal?

Ashley: He wants to leave all negativity behind him. You know, I'm trusting my instincts on this one. He's not it.

Jack: Okay, so that narrows it down to any of a hundred enemies Victor still has. Okay, look. You clearly thought this through. I'm sure you're on top of it all.

Ashley: You don't have to humor me. I'm not gonna bite your head off.

Jack: Again.

Ashley: [Chuckles] Again. I was very calm, wasn't I, when you suggested that we back up all of jabot's devices? You're right. We're a team. And I'm not gonna ignore good advice just to prove that I'm C.E.O.

Jack: Thanks. I'm gonna get back to my wife. She may still adore me, but it doesn't mean I don't tick her off.

Ashley: Yeah, we all adore you. And believe me, you tick us all off. You know why? You worry too much. You're very controlling, and you think you know everything, but I'm very happy to know that you've got my back.

Jack: I do. And now I'm gonna get back up to the cabin and assure Phyllis that I have hers, too.

Phyllis: I knew it. You see, I can smell a secret a mile away.

Ian: Mm.

Phyllis: You're really a marriage counselor.

Ian: [Chuckles] Hardly.

Phyllis: Okay. You are an internet chef extraordinaire. [Laughs] My sister would have a lot to talk to you about.

Ian: [Chuckling] No, not that either.

Phyllis: Oh, boy. Should I be worried?

Ian: I was looking for you, too, today. You know, when you said that you hoped you'd run into me, I had the same thought. Only I didn't want to seem too forward or have you misunderstand.

Phyllis: Misunderstand how?

Ian: Well, since my wife passed, it's been difficult meeting new people. She was in charge of our social life, and now I'm, uh, adrift. It's as if the world has moved on without me.

Phyllis: I get it. You know, that happened to me, too. It's a very long story, but life went on while I wasn't looking for an entire year.

Ian: Oh.

Phyllis: And after that, every second was about catching up, trying to understand why the world didn't stop. I had a lot of frustration.

Ian: Mm-hmm.

Phyllis: And I had a lot of anger and then hurt. And then life got even crazier, if you believe it. [Chuckles] And I needed to focus on the here and now, and I needed to focus on my husband and my kids.

Ian: Oh, you have children?

Phyllis: I do.

Ian: That's wonderful.

Phyllis: I have a beautiful son, Daniel, and his little girl, Lucy.

Ian: Mm.

Phyllis: And I have a gorgeous daughter of my own, summer.

Ian: Summer?

Phyllis: Mm-hmm.

Ian: What a beautiful name. I see sunshine and flowers.

Phyllis: [Laughs] Well, yeah, that sounds like her. Yes. She's tough, too.

Ian: Oh, well, she got that from you.

Phyllis: Damn straight. What about you? Do you have kids?

Ian: One. Sadly, uh, she decided that, uh, she no longer had any use for me, and, uh, she turned on me when I needed her most.

Mariah: Way to get stabbed with a size 7 stiletto, Kevin. Go ahead. Tell Abby that she is not the marketing maven of the world.

Abby: No. My coup, my success, my triumph is not a computer glitch.

Kevin: Okay, okay. I didn't say it was. I said maybe it was.

Abby: No. Not maybe.

Kevin: Someone tried to hack into the Newman system. That is a fact.

Abby: How? When? Did it work?

Kevin: Actually, no. It was an epic fail by all accounts.

Abby: See? Then it can't be the reason for the boost in sales, now can it? You're just trying to undermine my success. And it's not even logical. Who hacks into a computer to boost sales? No one.

Kevin: Not on purpose, but the worm could have screwed with the system.

Abby: No. You are just jealous. It isn't possible for you guys to be happy for me. Look. The uptick in sales -- it does make sense. It's predictable, in fact, because I changed the name of the company. I implemented a marketing plan, and I made a deal with a search engine. So hence -- hence I am a genius. But, yes, it is easier for you to rain on my parade than to say, "go, Abby, go." Well, you know what? I am gonna go celebrate elsewhere.

Mariah: Go, Abby. Go. Please. She's a drama queen.

Marisa: Poor thing. She was so happy.

Mariah: Funny thing -- Abby is actually allergic to reality. So, don't worry about it. We should close up.

Noah: So, Kevin...

Kevin: Hmm.

Noah: Uh, this deal that you made with my grandfather...

Kevin: The confidential one that I keep talking about? Yes. Let's talk about it some more.

Noah: Kev, people are useful to my grandfather until they're not.

Kevin: I'm not looking for a lifetime commitment. I'm making some extra money. And you know what? I should not even be talking about it.

Noah: Whatever he's offering you, it's not worth the price you're gonna pay in the end, buddy.

Gwen: This is nuts. Maybe it fell out of her purse or fell in between the seats of her car. You didn't have to come over here.

Neil: No, I-I actually -- I really did. I wanted to apologize to you personally. Gwen, my life has been really messy lately, and you have been such a shining star throughout. I hope I didn't blow anything by, you know, walking out of here without telling you.

Gwen: You didn't blow anything.

Neil: This is good, being with you. This is the first good thing in my life in a long time. I don't want to do anything to ruin it, you know?

Emma: [Sighs]

Gwen: Hey.

Emma: Whatever. You two have fun. Excuse me while I lose my job.

Gwen: Neil came over to help me find your I.D. Badge.

Emma: Yeah. I can tell.

Neil: Yeah. I -- hey! Look at this. This is -- this is your badge, right?

Emma: That's impossible. There's no way it could have been in the couch. I leave it right here on the table, always.

Gwen: Is that why you thought you might have left it at work or in the car?

Neil: Ladies, come on. The good news is that you got your badge back, right?

Gwen: She's grateful. I promise. She's just worked up and forgetting her manners.

Emma: Thank you, Neil. I got to haul it back to work, make sure they know I'm not a screw up.

Gwen: Life with a sister. I'm sorry.

Neil: No. Don't apologize. I mean, she was worried about her job. Now she doesn't have to be. So, I think we should get back to what we were doing. Let's focus on some of the good stuff. What do you say?

Gwen: You know, you must have magic hands, because I checked this couch I don't know how many times.

Neil: You did, huh? Well, why don't we check it out again? Who knows what we're gonna find.

Gwen: Come here, you.

Neil: Yeah?

Gwen: Mm-hmm.

Neil: Oh, I like that. Take me wherever you want me to go.

Kevin: You don't think I trust Victor, do you? No. And I am not about to put myself at his mercy. This is -- this is about the thrill of the challenge -- beating the hacker at his own game. And money. I do love money. Take it and run.

Noah: Well, you might find that running is a little harder than you think. You see, my grandfather -- he has a way of backing people into a corner, making sure that he has control. A few months ago, after the shooting, my dad came in here. He said stay away from my grandfather. Don't get sucked in. Now look at him. He's at Newman, wearing a suit, yessing my grandfather to death.

Kevin: Well, Nick knows Victor better than anyone. If he's okay being at Newman, I would take his word for it.

Noah: Sure. Yeah. He thinks he can handle it. I did, too. And then my grandfather tried to bribe Marisa to stay away from me.

Kevin: Well, it looks like she's made her choice.

Noah: Yeah, she has. So have I.

Mariah: That is what complete and utter devotion looks like.

Marisa: It's -- it's still new, but it's wonderful.

Mariah: You know, it's funny. You don't strike me as the ooey-gooey type. But you did turn down half a million dollars, so I guess it's love.

Marisa: Ugh. I gave up nothing. Victor and his money? But it does help to have the right person by your side, for sure. Noah -- he makes my old life go away.

Mariah: Was it really that bad? I mean, there's nothing you want to hold on to from the old days?

Marisa: [Chuckles] I-I don't want to be that person. Ever. I want to be the woman that Noah trusts.

Mariah: You almost make it sound like he shouldn't trust you. Is there something you're hiding from him?

Stitch: Ashley. Nice to see you.

Ashley: Hi. Is Abby with you?

Stitch: Uh, just a text from her. I'm meeting her here, but...no sign of her yet.

Ashley: Oh, well, you want to sit and wait?

Stitch: Yeah. You'll have to join us for a toast.

Ashley: Oh, really? Two of you have big news?

Stitch: I don't. It's all Abby's. Record-breaking sales for Chelsea's fashion line.

Ashley: Yeah, that is all Abby. She has a real gift for generating interest and knowing what the public wants. I'm sure this is the first of many successes for her.

Stitch: But...? 'Cause I can -- I can hear a "but" in that.

Ashley: Yeah, well, I definitely wish she was having that success at jabot or anywhere else, frankly.

Stitch: This is about her being at Newman.

Ashley: Yeah. Definitely. Her father's still playing games with my family.

Abby: Hi. Oh, no. What's wrong? I know those faces.

Ashley: No. We were just talking about your record-breaking sales.

Abby: And you think that it's a glitch or a mistake, that I couldn't have possibly have re-envisioned Chelsea's line and made it even bigger and better than ever. Thanks, mom. Thanks for your support. I knew I could count on you.

Stitch: Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. All right. Ease up. Ashley's not the enemy.

Phyllis: What is it like to be able to cook like this?

Ian: [Laughs] It's just nice to cook for somebody.

Phyllis: [Chuckles]

Ian: It's really great like this.

Phyllis: If you go back into the world, you can make new friends, meet new people, maybe someone special.

Ian: Oh, no. That's scary. Falling in love again? But life is for the brave, I guess.

Phyllis: Mm. You think you're ready?

Ian: I'm more ready now than I have been for a long time.

Phyllis: So, what kind of woman are you looking for? Have you thought about that? There are some really good apps for that now.

Ian: [Laughs] Oh, no. No, thank you. No apps. [Chuckles] I prefer to rely on kismet. When the time comes, it will happen, and not a moment before.

Phyllis: To kismet.

Ian: Ah.

Phyllis: And being ready.

Ian: [Chuckles]

[Cell phone rings]

Phyllis: Oh, it's Jack.

Ian: Oh, please go ahead. I'll get the dishes.

Phyllis: Oh, okay. Thank you. Hey, honey. Productive evening?

Jack: My work is done here. I just wanted to let you know I'm on my way back.

Phyllis: Oh. I thought you'd spend the night in town.

Jack: What? Without you? Not a chance. I'm on my way.

Phyllis: Okay. We'll have to save you some trout.

Jack: We? Who's we?

Phyllis: I met the most talented chef and fisherman.

Mariah: If you're keeping something from Noah, and this is just a heads up, nothing in this town stays secret for long. Everyone is in your business.

Marisa: Yeah, that much I know already. And, no, what I feel for Noah is very real, and I think he knows that. Now, what about you and Kevin?

Mariah: What do you -- what do you mean? I mean, do you -- no. You think we're -- no. I mean, we're not -- no, no, no. No.

Marisa: But you guys live together.

Mariah: Yeah. As roommates. That's all.

Marisa: I-I assumed it was more. The way you talk about him -- protective, caring, teasing, and bossy.

Mariah: I'm not bossy. I mean, maybe I'm assertive about my emotions or feelings or things that I'm thinking.

Marisa: But you guys are still roommates.

Mariah: Roommates. Yes. And, you know, there was a semi-accidental kiss thrown in there. I mean, we can't manage a date. We're both romantic failures, but at least we're failures together.

Marisa: That is ridiculous. Is there -- is there attraction?

Mariah: Okay, you're getting a little personal here.

Marisa: Is there affection?

Mariah: I am not the ooey-gooey type either.

Marisa: So, you're fine just being his roommate?

Mariah: I'm broken romantically. Abby is right. I stalked my last boyfriend. My father figure drugged me and tried to force me into marrying him. I-I'm damaged. Okay. Just please don't ask.

Marisa: Uh, okay. You say you want to forget about your old life. Right? Then start with Kevin. Tonight. Okay, calma, I will explain it to you nice and slow.

Noah: What's that look?

Kevin: What? There was no look. There was a slight turn of my head.

Noah: Are you two ever gonna stop being weird with each other?

Kevin: Evidently not.

Noah: You know that that's -- that's pathetic, right?

Kevin: That's your sister.

Noah: She's also a grown woman, and you're the only person she can spend more than 10 minutes with.

Kevin: Sometimes 30.

Noah: So...?

Kevin: So we're friends. Yay.

Noah: That's not enough? Fix it.

Kevin: You're the one who's in this big, passionate, romantic, embarrassing to be around phase. Mariah and I are like, uh, an old married couple. We fight over the remote.

Noah: Leave it how it is. Not pathetic at all.

Kevin: Hey, ease up. It's a rut. We'll get out of it.

Noah: How?

Kevin: I'll fix it. I'll hack it like I do everything else and then, uh, sparks will fly.

Neil: I'd like to stay tonight, if that's okay with you. I don't want to make the same mistake twice. Gwen. Gwen, you okay?

Gwen: [Sighs]

Neil: Hey. What?

Gwen: The other day, we saw you coming out of the meds closet at the hospital. And then lily was worried about you just even taking a sleeping pill. And today, Emma's ID badge went missing.

Neil: You got something you want to ask me?

Gwen: Neil, if you need help, let me help you.

Neil: Wait, you think that I stole Emma's ID badge to score some drugs?

Gwen: Did you?

Jack: Sorry. Wow. If that's what forgiveness tastes like, I could apologize all over again. You're amazing, you know that? Getting sucked in to all of Victor's nonsense is an old and a very bad habit I have to break.

Phyllis: I need to break some habits, too. Not to sound too profound, but if I'm going to respect your decisions, I'm gonna have to stop complaining about them. You're home. That is all that matters.

Jack: It smells like there's been some cooking in here.

[Sniffs] And no burning. How is that possible?

Phyllis: [Chuckles] Fred the fisherman did the honors. But he took off before I could say goodbye.

Jack: Kind of quirky.

Phyllis: Well, that or it's a figment of my imagination.

Jack: No, honey. That's trout almondine. No, you didn't do that. Fred's for real, wherever he may be.

Ian: Oh, you clever paragon project, program of pulverization, poisonous pandemonium. Unleash your fury on the unsuspecting, unenlightened, unworthy Victor Newman. [Chuckles]

Neil: Okay, so do I look like I'm on drugs or -- or strung out, waiting for my next fix?

Gwen: No. But you can see how it looks.

Neil: How does it look? See, a woman's hospital ID badge is stolen. You think, automatically, that I must have stolen -- why? Is it because -- is it because I told you that I'm an alcoholic?

Gwen: No. It's because you must be stressed about Hilary and Devon.

Neil: My son is suffering. His wife, my ex -- I can't even think about what might have happened to her. And, yes, my -- my life has been a slice of hell recently. And, Gwen, then there was you, being here with you -- the way you make me feel, the way you listen to me, the way you make me think that life -- it isn't all about guilt or pain and punishment. That -- that's what you gave me. Until right now.

Gwen: I'm sorry. I was just trying to make sense of things. I-I should have known better.

Neil: No, it's me. It's me who should have known better. This was a mistake. And I think that we should end it now before we get in too deep, all right? Before anybody gets hurt.

Gwen: No. It doesn't have to be this way.

Neil: Yes, it does.

Noah: It was pretty dead tonight.

Marisa: Does that have something to do with why you locked the door early?

Noah: What are you talking about? Well, I -- you saw that?

Marisa: [Laughs] Yeah. I notice things.

Noah: Did you notice that, uh, we have a -- I don't know. What's the word? -- Chemical attraction?

Marisa: Is that why I can't get enough of you?

Noah: You can't? See, that's why I locked the door.

Kevin: What are we doing here?

Mariah: Uh, Marisa wanted me to check on something for her.

Kevin: Check on something? What?

Mariah: Don't be nosy.

Kevin: I'm not. I just want to know what we're doing in somebody else's hotel room.

Mariah: It's nice, though, right?

Kevin: Yeah. It's fine.

Mariah: Well, uh, you know, she's staying at Noah's tonight. I think they're actually gonna move in together. And, uh, I thought maybe we could spend the night here.

Kevin: Why would we spend -- oh. Oh, I see what's happening. [Chuckles]

Mariah: You do? Oh, my gosh. That's -- thank God. I-I was feeling so nervous and weird about this, and you were acting so dense.

Kevin: Dense? Me? No. I get it. And I'm on board. I-I know why we're here.

Mariah: Well, that's a relief.

Kevin: The Wi-Fi signal is a thousand times better than at our place.

Mariah: Wi-Fi. You're working?

Kevin: Well, yeah. I have to research that attack on Newman for Victor. I have a signal. I have everything I need. This was a great idea.

Mariah: Yep. You have everything you need. A signal.

Abby: I'm sorry. It's just -- I made something happen with Chelsea 2.0, something epic as far as the company goes, and I can't even get the tiniest pat on the back.

Ashley: I'm giving you a big pat on the back. I think you're clever and...very intelligent. And you have a gift for business. I could not be prouder of you than I am right now.

Abby: Really?

Ashley: Really.

Abby: Thank you. So, why those faces when I walked in? Is it a patient?

Stitch: Uh, fortunately, no.

Ashley: I was sharing my concerns with Ben.

Abby: About what?

Ashley: I'm so proud of the work you're doing. I honestly am. It's gonna take more than that to make me feel comfortable with you working so closely with your father.

Abby: Because you think I can't handle my dad? Look, if that's what you're worried about, then don't be. I am on the inside of Newman enterprises. I'm a respected player, and I am not gonna let anything happen to my family, either side.

Ashley: How will you possibly stop it? Victor will do anything to get what he wants.

Neil: You remember Gwen. I hurt her badly today. She definitely didn't deserve that. You know, if she'd have come into my life before I knew you existed, we might have had something special. But that's not what happened. I met you, I fell in love, and, damn, it all went to hell in a hand basket, didn't it? But at least Gwen is away from it now. She can't hurt me. And I can't hurt her.

Kevin: Oh, come on! Another blackout?

Mariah: Not this time.

Kevin: Wow. [Chuckles] What are you doing?

Mariah: Um...I'm, um, trying to strike a sexy pose, but I don't know what to do with my hands. [Chuckles]

Kevin: I have an idea.

Jack: I am going to hire your friend Fred to cook next time Mrs. Martinez goes on vacation.

Phyllis: Well, I know you're joking, but at least it would get him back into the world. I just felt so bad for the guy. He had so much pain in his eyes, and, I don't know, this fear that the world would just be too much for him.

Jack: Wow. This is a heartfelt conversation over trout almondine. Do I have to be jealous?

Phyllis: Oh, yeah. Totally. Very. Not.

Jack: You sure about that?

Phyllis: Well, you mention it. He was very smart and insightful. [Smacks table] Listen to me! I can't even joke about something like this. You are it, Jack Abbott. Everything about you -- the good, the bad, the crazy-making -- you think about what we have been through to get back to one another.

Jack: When I was in town, I did something long overdue that made me think of just that. And I need your help.

Phyllis: [Laughs] A new wedding ring.

Jack: Yeah. Would you do the honors?

Phyllis: I will. Every time you look at this, mister, I want you to just think about the battle and how hard we have been fighting it. We're still standing, Jack.

Jack: How did we get to be so lucky?

Phyllis: We're not lucky. It's called kismet. It's fate. It's destiny. I don't care. Whatever it is, Jack, we are stuck with each other.

Jack: Wow. I like the sound of that.

Phyllis: [Chuckles]

[Tchaikovsky's "Waltz of the Flowers" plays]

Ian: Chelsea two-point-oh-oh-oh be careful what you sow-ow-ow misery and woe-oe [Chuckles]

Abby: So much for celebrating.

Stitch: Ashley just told you how proud she is of you.

Abby: Which turned into a dark cloud of misery and prophecies of business doom.

[Cell phone beeps]

Stitch: What's wrong?

Abby: The numbers are spiking again at Chelsea 2.0.

Stitch: Well, that's a good thing, right?

Abby: I don't know. I mean, these figures -- they -- they can't be accurate.

["Waltz of the Flowers" resumes]

Something's wrong.

Ian: Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh Chelsea, two-point-oh-oh you are my puppet show-ow Chelsea two-point-oh-oh [Laughs]

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Cane: What wouldn't I be happy about?

Charlie: [Cheers, laughs]

India: Tell mama your troubles, baby.

Dylan: I'd rather talk about Devon Hamilton's bachelor party.

Neil: I'm responsible for Hilary's disappearance.

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