Y&R Transcript Wednesday 12/24/14

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Episode # 10562 ~ Friends & family celebrate Christmas, as Michael & Lauren plan for their future, Neil surprises his family, and Dylan opens up to Nikki.

Provided By Suzanne

Sharon: It's Christmas Eve, sweetie. Santa comes tonight.

Faith: He's not gonna bring me what I want.

Mariah: I don't think anything that comes in a box is gonna cut it this year.

Sharon: I think you're right.

Mariah: Wait, you got me a present?

Sharon: Um, no. Santa did.

Mariah: I -- I didn't do any shopping.

[Knock on door]

Mariah: [Sighs]

Sharon: Dylan! Hi!

Dylan: Merry Christmas.

Sharon: Merry Christmas.

Dylan: Hey, Mariah.

Mariah: Hi.

Dylan: These are for you.

Sharon: Oh, thank you!

Dylan: And one's for faith.

Sharon: Oh, so sweet of you. We got something for you, too.

Mariah: Am I the only person who doesn't have a clue about this holiday?

Sharon: Well, just you being here is gift enough.

Dylan: So how's faith doing after her traumatic day yesterday?

Mariah: Great. She hasn't run away in hours.

Sharon: Mariah. She's okay. Just trying to adjust to all the change.

Nick: Ho, ho, ho!

Victor: Joe, don't give me phony reassurances, all right? You tell me what you're gonna do to counter McAvoy's protest movement. Not a cocktail party. I'm not gonna sell this to your consortium. Okay, a merry Christmas to you. Hi, sweetheart. How was your shopping?

Nikki: Never mind about that. How can you do this to my son?

Courtney: What are the odds that I'd actually have Christmas Eve and Christmas day off?

Noah: Yeah, I don't remember the last time I saw you this excited.

Courtney: I don't remember the last time I had two full days to spend with my guy.

Noah: Thank you for going with me to my mom's. She could use the Christmas cheer.

Courtney: I bet.

Noah: Ready?

Courtney: Let's do this.

Noah: Okay.

Courtney: Thank you.

Noah: You're welcome.

Courtney: Kevin.

Kevin: Yo.

Noah: It's Christmas Eve, dude.

Courtney: What are you still doing here?

Kevin: Well, Harding is out of town, and he asked me to do him a favor.

Courtney: Seriously? You guys aren't exactly buds.

Noah: Yeah, the night of the bachelor party, it seemed like throwing you in a holding cell was, like, the highlight of his year.

Kevin: Yeah, we have a complicated relationship. But he trusts me, and he needed someone responsible to handle this particular task. Thought it was a good way to earn some brownie points.

Noah: So he won't throw you in jail again.

Kevin: Exactly.

Michael: You really outdid yourself, Lauren. This lasagna looks great.

Lauren: [Chuckles] You do not have to panic. I only was responsible for the salad and the dessert. The lasagna is from the club.

Michael: Yes! Gina's recipe. Much better.

Lauren: Honey, will you please say grace?

Fenmore: Uh, that's really not my thing.

Michael: Why does it have to be your thing? Just do it.

Lauren: Honey. You don't have to push it. It's okay.

Michael: Just speak from your heart. Give thanks for this food, for your family, for good health.

Moses: Merry Christmas, Daddy!

Neil: Oh, merry Christmas, Moses. I love you so much. Santa's little helper. [Chuckles] Hey, Charlie, Mattie! Come here. Give me some love. Where are you? Who's that? Oh, I can feel that's Charlie. Mm!

Lily: Dad's doing better today.

Hilary: Well, there's nothing he loves more than having the kids around.

Lily: And you. Need help in the kitchen?

Hilary: Well, I have to baste the ham one last time, and the salad's not started.

Lily: Okay, well, let's prep so we can relax.

Mattie: Can I lick the bowl?

Charlie: No, me!

Neil: [Laughs]

Hilary: There are no bowls, silly.

Lily: You can help make the salad. Come on.

Mattie: Okay.

Neil: Go on, you two.

Charlie: I'm gonna put on the carrots.

[Doorbell rings]

Cane: Stay there. I'll do it.

Neil: No, no, no, no, no. This little man is portable. I will get it, and I do believe that you're gonna be needed in the --

[Clang, children laugh]

Neil: In the kitchen.

Cane: How'd you do that?

Neil: Just experience. Where's my cane? Here we go. Okay. That's the table there. All right. It's coming up soon. Should be right -- there it is. There's the door. All right. Merry Christmas.

Devon: Hey. Merry Christmas, dad.

Neil: There he is.

Devon: Look at you, little man. How are you?

Moses: Hi. Merry Christmas.

Neil: Hey, buddy. So, merry Christmas to you and Gwen. Is she with you right now?

Devon: No, she's not with me today.

Neil: Why not? It's Christmas Eve, son.

Devon: Yeah, she had other plans.

Neil: Yeah? Well, today is all about spending time with the people you care about most.

[Doorbell rings]

Devon: You want me to get that for you?

Neil: No, no, I will. Thanks.

Devon: Okay.

Neil: Merry Christmas.

Jill: Oh, merry Christmas, Neil.

Neil: Hi, Jill.

Jill: Hi.

Devon: Hi, Jill.

Neil: How you doing, man? Merry Christmas.

Devon: Let me take your coats, please.

Jill: Thank you very much.

Colin: Thank you.

Neil: Oh, thank you.

Colin: And here's your lovely bride. Hilary.

Hilary: Merry Christmas.

Jill: Merry Christmas to you, too, Hilary.

Colin: Your first Christmas together as husband and wife. Must be a very special time for you.

Neil: That it is.

Hilary: Champagne and whiskey coming right up.

Neil: Colin and Jill, I really appreciate you coming by for dinner.

Jill: Oh, are you kidding, Neil? It's our pleasure. Although, I have to tell you I promised Lauren and Michael that we'd stop by there for desserts and coffee later.

Neil: Oh, I understand completely. You have to make your Christmas Eve rounds, don't you?

Colin: Yeah, I've squandered many a holiday during my lifetime. But, you know, now that I have a gorgeous wife, these family occasions mean a lot more to me. Not to mention the rewards they bring.

Jill: [Chuckles]

Lily: Yeah, Colin here even managed to sit through Mattie and Charlie's Christmas pageant without falling asleep.

Colin: Come on! They stole the show!

Neil: Spoken like a true grandfather.

Jill: Oh, how cute was Mattie when she came in holding that giant star bigger than she was?

[Laughter]

Hilary: I need to get Jill and Colin their drinks.

Devon: Just a minute. Just a minute.

Hilary: You were supposed to bring Gwen.

Devon: I didn't want to do that to you after you told me how much it bugged you.

Hilary: It doesn't matter how I feel.

Devon: I didn't want to do it to Gwen, either. All right? It's like Neil said. This is a time when people really care about each other should be together.

Hilary: I can't change how I feel about you. But now that we know that Neil is on the verge of drinking again? We can't be together in any way.

Devon: Are you saying --

Hilary: Yes, Devon. No more sneaking around. Not while I'm married to your father. Agreed? Okay, one glass of bubbly.

Jill: Oh, thank you.

Hilary: And whiskey. No ice.

Colin: You know, as I was saying... there's nothing quite like being around this kind of unconditional love.

Lily: Aww. Hear, hear. [Chuckles]

Hilary: Dinner should be ready any minute.

Neil: Wait, quick announcement first. Before the evening's over... I'm gonna have a surprise. For everyone.

Michael: I feel bad that you had to cancel your ski trip with your friends.

Lauren: Yeah. I mean, you were really looking forward to that.

Fenmore: Maybe we could all go next year. Ski the alps.

Lauren: I don't remember the last time I had a pair of skis on.

Michael: It's been awhile for me, too.

Lauren: Honey, what classes are you taking next semester?

Fenmore: Econ, statistics, abnormal psych. And astronomy for my science elective.

Lauren: Abnormal psych?

Fenmore: Yeah, I mean, it's pretty interesting. I needed another social science credit.

Michael: Well, living amongst the Baldwin-fishers, you should have plenty of first-hand source material for your papers.

Lauren: That's true.

Fenmore: Yeah, Kevin is claustrophobic on account of his dad being abusive. I could research that, and, of course, your father is a --

Michael: Is a sociopath. Oh, and Gloria. There's a case study.

[Laughter]

Lauren: How about more salad. Anybody?

Fenmore: Yeah, I'll have some.

Lauren: There you go. You're welcome.

Michael: All right. That's it. [Inhales deeply] No more walking on eggshells. It's time we talked about what's really going on.

Faith: Who's that?!

Nick: Ho, ho, ho!

Sharon: I'll find out.

Nick: Ho, ho, ho.

Sharon: Honey, look! It's Santa!

Nick: Ho, ho, ho, ho!

Dylan: Man, did I time this visit right.

Faith: You're not Santa. You're daddy.

Nick: Aw, man! Can't get anything by you.

Faith: [Chuckles] You came!

Nick: I just wanted to come and drop you a couple presents here. It's your night to be with your mother.

Faith: You're leaving?

Nick: Yeah. You remember that talk we had the other day?

Faith: I know. You and mommy aren't together. But you're here.

Nick: Sweetheart.

Faith: Okay. I get it. Please, daddy. Can't we all try to get along? Just for tonight?

Nick: Well, I suppose I could stay. If it was okay with your mother.

Sharon: I have problem with that.

Faith: [Laughs] Yes! You guys are the best.

Dylan: Well, I should get going.

Sharon: Oh, wait. Your present.

Dylan: Oh.

Sharon: Merry Christmas, Dylan.

Dylan: Oh, thank you. Same to you. Santa, always good seeing you.

Nick: You, too, man. I'll walk you to the door.

Mariah: Bye, dude. Merry...whatever.

Dylan: Merry whatever to you, too, Mariah. And what about you? Where's my Christmas hug?

Faith: Right here!

Dylan: All right! Merry Christmas.

Faith: Merry Christmas.

Nick: I just want to thank you again for everything you did for faith the other day. I'm just sorry you got dragged into this mess.

Dylan: I'm just glad she came to me. It's what family's for.

Nick: You got it.

Dylan: Merry Christmas.

Nick: Merry Christmas.

Dylan: Hey!

Noah: Merry Christmas!

Dylan: You too!

Noah: We're here!

Sharon: Hey! Noah and Courtney! You're right on time. I was just about to pour eggnog.

Mariah: Ooh.

Noah: Dad. I'm glad you're here.

Nick: Well, I'm doing it for faith. I wasn't gonna stay, but she asked me to.

Noah: Well, I'm sure she's thrilled.

Nick: Well, I'm just worried it's gonna send the wrong message, you know? I don't want to get her hopes up.

Noah: What, that you can put your anger aside during Christmas for your daughter's benefit? I don't think that's such a bad message.

Mariah: Kev, Kev, Kev. Slow down. What's going on?

Kevin: Just get over to the police station right away. I need your help.

Mariah: I don't know if you heard, but it's kind of Christmas Eve.

Kevin: And I'm desperate, or I wouldn't be calling. Can you just get here now, please? Thanks. Bye.

Jill: Ah, but to you, they're just derelict buildings. The people who live there and work there probably don't feel that way.

Cane: Since when did you become so anti-business? That's what I'm trying to understand.

Jill: I'm not anti-business, all right? I'm anti-bulldozing the livelihoods and homes of hundreds of people.

Colin: Let's change the subject. Business, politics -- it's kind of --

Neil: Bad for the digestion.

Cane: Exactly, so let's all just agree to disagree.

Jill: That's fine with me.

Cane: All right.

Jill: Absolutely.

Colin: Uh... what time are we expected at Michael and Lauren's?

Jill: Oh, my God! Oh, Neil, I am so, so sorry.

Neil: Oh, no, that's okay. That's fine. Just give them my best, okay?

Jill: Mwah! I will. Thank you both for a lovely, lovely dinner.

Neil: Thank you for joining us. Thanks, Colin.

Hilary: I'll get your coat.

Jill: Okay. I am so sorry to eat and run like this.

Hilary: Oh, no, no. It's okay. I'm just -- I'm glad that you could come. It means a lot to Neil to have everyone together.

Jill: You know, Hilary, I've given you a hard time for a very long time. But now that I've been around you more and Neil and I've seen how happy you make him --

Hilary: Okay, Jill. Don't feel obligated to say anything you don't mean just because it's Christmas.

Jill: I never say anything I don't mean, not ever, okay? So if I give you a compliment, it is real. You've been a very gracious host in more ways than one.

Hilary: Well, you seem happy.

Jill: And the reason for that is that man standing right over there.

Colin: Well, thanks to that money I got, I was hoping to buy some very nice presents this year.

Devon: I'm so happy to hear you're putting it to good use. But if you're thinking of going to that well again, don't, because I told you that we're done.

Colin: And a merry Christmas to you, too.

Devon: Same.

Lily: Well, goodbye, you guys. Have a good night. Merry Christmas.

Neil: There's something I want to talk to you about. I hope I can trust you to keep a secret.

Cane: You know, believe it or not, that's something I'm very good at doing.

Neil: I've been accepted into an experimental program that specializes in my type of blindness.

Cane: That's fantastic.

Neil: Yeah.

Cane: That's great.

Neil: They say that I'm a good candidate. I am not getting my hopes up too much right now. But, oh, what I wouldn't give to see everything that I've been missing.

Nikki: I got a call earlier from the club. Kelly wanted to know how many people would be at our table?

Victor: For what?

Nikki: Joe Clark's cocktail party. Why on earth would you accept an invitation from a group that supports the demolition of the warehouse district? Do you know the stakes for Dylan here? If this goes through, he'll lose his coffee house.

Victor: Sweetheart, we're simply gathering some information. You know, then there's a q&a for the developers later on.

Nikki: Oh, really?

Victor: Yeah.

Nikki: All right, I'm sorry. I just -- I get so upset when I think about these out-of-towners who just want to come in and raze a neighborhood.

Victor: Sweetheart.

Nikki: Can't you talk to the sellers, Victor?

Victor: It's Christmas Eve. Can we not talk about this another day?

Nikki: It's on my mind.

Victor: I understand.

[Doorbell rings]

Victor: Who's -- who's this?

Nikki: I don't know, but as you say, it's Christmas Eve. People like to come around and say hello. Oh, Dylan! What a surprise. Come in.

Dylan: Thanks, thanks.

Nikki: Gosh. This is nice.

Victor: Hello, Dylan.

Dylan: Victor.

Victor: Nice to see you.

Dylan: You too.

Victor: Well, I got a stop to make, so I'll leave you alone with your mother for awhile. Okay, sweetheart.

Nikki: Okay. [Sighs] Victor and I were just talking about those awful people who want to just come in and destroy neighborhoods. As far as I'm concerned, they are just evil bean counters who don't give a damn who they hurt.

Mariah: Kevin? Kev?

Kevin: Down here.

Mariah: Hi. Did you lose a contact?

Kevin: Roscoe got out of his cage.

Mariah: Oh, my God. You let a criminal escape?

Kevin: No, it's Harding's pet. I'm supposed to be watching it while Harding is out of town.

Mariah: Are you joking?

Kevin: Does it look like I'm joking?! This is his cage. It's empty. I didn't latch the door correctly.

Mariah: Why are we whispering?

Kevin: Because I don't want to scare him away.

Mariah: Okay, well, what is he? Is he an iguana or a python or?

Kevin: A rabbit.

Mariah: [Laughing] A rabbit?

Kevin: It's not funny. It's not funny.

Mariah: [Laughs] Tough guy Harding has a -- has a pet bunny rabbit?

Kevin: Stop laughing! This is serious. He could fire me or kill me or both!

Mariah: [Laughing] Oh, my God.

Kevin: I don't even know why I called you. I'm screwed, but why would you care?

Mariah: No, Kevin! [Laughing] Kevin. Kevin, Kevin. I -- [Laughs] I care. I do. I care. I promise. I will help you find this poor little bunny rabbit, okay?

Kevin: Thank you.

Mariah: Okay. Um... come here, roscoe. Roscoe?

Kevin: Roscoe.

Mariah: Okay. Roscoe.

Kevin: Roscoe.

Mariah: Come here.

Kevin: [Gasps] I see him. There he goes. Roscoe, Roscoe! [Grunts] He's under here. I -- I can't reach.

Mariah: Okay, let me try.

Kevin: Yeah.

Michael: There is a subject that we feel that we all have to tiptoe around. And the subject is making us all very uncomfortable, and if neither of you are courageous enough to say it, I will. This lasagna is dry. There is not enough sauce. And there isn't nearly enough cheese.

Lauren: Oh, tragedy strikes!

Fenmore: Holiday ruined!

Lauren: And it's all my fault, of course!

Fenmore: Actually, it's dad's fault for being too lazy to fire up the grill.

Michael: What?!

Fenmore: Yeah.

Michael: Oh, no. Really? You want me to go on the roof in the cold and barbecue a steak on Christmas Eve?

Both: Yes.

[Both laugh]

Michael: Look... we all know what I'm dealing with.

Lauren: What we're dealing with.

Michael: What we're dealing with. And what we're dealing with has a name. Cancer. Can-cer. Cancer!

Lauren: [Laughs]

Michael: Cancer

Lauren: [Laughs]

Michael: Ca-a-ncer ca-a-a-a-ncer

Lauren: Oh!

Both: Cancer, ca-a-ncer what are you doing?!

All: Ca-a-a-a-ncer cancer, ca-a-ncer there's cancer

[Laughter]

Michael: Cancer! Cancer!

[All chanting "cancer"]

[Laughter]

Michael: Oh! Now, doesn't that feel better, family?

Lauren: Much. [Laughs]

Fenmore: Yeah, actually.

Michael: It's so important that we keep our sense of humor. [Sighs] It is. I mean, we've dealt with -- we've dealt with so much. We're gonna deal with it with strength and grace. And humor. Mwah! Mwah! I want us to make a pact right now, that we will not let this disease that I have rob us of who we are as a family. Or rob us of our capacity for joy. In all its forms. Little and small and big and great. Agreed?

Lauren: [Chuckles]

Michael: Yeah?

Fenmore: I do so solemnly swear.

[Doorbell rings]

Michael: What is that?

Lauren: I totally forgot. Oh, no.

Michael: Who is it?

Lauren: Jill.

Jill: God, what happened? Are you all right? We were down the hall and we heard screaming. What's the matter?

[Laughter]

Dylan: I'm doing all I can to fight this thing, but I also got to be realistic. If I can't stop the redevelopment plan, I'm probably gonna have to figure something else out.

Nikki: It just upsets me that it might even be necessary. Crimson lights is very important to Nicholas, too.

Dylan: Nick's been very supportive. So have a lot of other people.

Nikki: I asked Victor if he could possibly stop this, 'cause he has a lot of friends in government and in business.

Dylan: We're not gonna spend our whole visit talking about this, are we? Because I brought you something. Your Christmas present.

Nikki: That is so sweet. Ooh, I have something for you and Avery, too.

Dylan: No. No, you first.

Nikki: Okay. [Sighs]

Courtney: Noah, that's gorgeous.

Noah: It's the one that you saw in the window, right? The one that you loved?

Courtney: Yeah.

Noah: Good.

Courtney: I love it.

Sharon: Can I see?

Courtney: Sure.

Sharon: Oh. It's so pretty.

Courtney: Want to help me put it on?

Noah: Of course. [Clears throat] All right.

Faith: [Smooches]

Noah: One second. Do you think that's funny? Do you think that's funny?

Sharon: [Laughs]

Nick: Oh, you're gonna get it!

[Knock on door]

Noah: It's not funny!

[Faith laughs]

Sharon: Victor.

Victor: I just wanted to bring by a present for faith. From grandma and me.

Faith: Stop it!

Mariah: Did we lose the bunny?

Kevin: I don't know. Oh, my God. What if somebody opens the door and he gets out that way?

[Cell phone rings]

Kevin: [Sighs] It's Harding. What do I do?

Mariah: You answer it or you let it go to voicemail. I think those are you only two options.

Kevin: Hey! Harding! How's it going? He's great. He's -- he's living the dream. Getting waited on paw and foot. What? N-no. No, no. You don't owe me at all. Merry Christmas to you, too. I'm a dead man.

Mariah: Worst-case scenario, we just -- we get the guy another rabbit. They all look the same. He's not gonna know the difference.

Kevin: He hasn't had roscoe that long, but I think he's gonna know. I give Harding a hard time, but he's a pretty smart detective.

Mariah: We have to be detectives. We have to think like one. Why would a rabbit leave the comfort of his home for a foreign environment? Where is he going? What does he want?

Kevin: He wants carrots. I think you're mocking me.

Mariah: No, I'm not, I swear. It just kind of sounds that way. Wait, shh, shh. Do you hear that? It sounds like a rabbit.

Kevin: Rabbits don't make noise.

Mariah: Okay, well, that non-noise is coming from over there.

Kevin: [Gasps] I see him. I see him, I see him. Um... look what I found!

Mariah: Uh, nice bunny, but you're gonna want to see this.

Kevin: [Laughing] What? Oh, my God. Baby bunnies!

Mariah: They are adorable!

Kevin: That's so cute!

Mariah: I guess Harding didn't know enough about his little friend over here.

Kevin: Yeah. I guess roscoe is a, uh... a Roxie.

Mariah: [Chuckles] I guess so.

Kevin: That's crazy.

Mariah: Hey.

Kevin: Wow.

Victor: What the hell are you doing here, son? How can you stand to be in the same room with the woman who has done so much damage to you and our family?

Nick: I'm here because I care about faith.

Sharon: And if you care about her, too, then you won't ruin this night for her.

Victor: And you have the audacity to say that to me? After what you have done to this family? Don't you realize what the hell she's doing? She's manipulating you, son.

Nick: Okay, just stop.

Victor: Are you that naive?

Nick: Stop.

Victor: I'm not gonna lose faith. I'm not gonna lose our granddaughter because of your weakness.

Nick: Dad, it's Christmas Eve. If this is how you're gonna act, then you got to leave.

Victor: I can't believe that you're standing up for her.

Sharon: He's not. He's standing up for our little girl on Christmas Eve.

Nikki: How old were you when this was taken?

Dylan: I was 8 or 9.

Nikki: Aww.

Dylan: After my dad, terry, died, I found all this stuff in his personal effects, and I really had no idea what to do with it. And then it hit me one day that you hadn't seen any pictures of me as a kid.

Nikki: Mnh-mnh.

Dylan: And you missed out on all that growing-up stuff, so... here's a little bit of it. My baseball trophy right here.

Nikki: Aww.

Dylan: Report card.

Nikki: Oh!

Dylan: Slingshot.

Nikki: [Laughs]

Dylan: And some artwork. I don't know if you'd call that artwork.

Nikki: Oh, my gosh. Oh, this is just the best gift ever. I will treasure it always. These things must have meant a lot to your father that he kept them for so long.

Dylan: Ah, who knows? Maybe he forgot he had them.

Nikki: Oh, I don't think so. I think he cherished all of this. Especially when you were overseas. I'm very honored that you're entrusting me with this.

Dylan: That's pretty amazing if you think about it. You know how far we've come since last Christmas.

Nikki: Oh, we knew nothing about each other, and I had no idea where to start. I just worried and wondered if we would ever have any kind of relationship.

Dylan: Yeah, at the time, I just, you know, I felt like I couldn't -- couldn't trust anybody or anything.

Nikki: I know.

Dylan: But...you hung in there with me. And I'm really glad that you did. [Chuckles] I'm just feeling really blessed. Merry Christmas, Mom.

Nikki: Oh, Merry Christmas, my dear, dear son.

Neil: Everybody, it's time to open a Christmas Eve present!

[Cheers and applause]

Lily: Okay, hey, you can open one tonight and the rest tomorrow morning. Okay?

Hilary: Okay, come on, guys. Help me play Santa Claus.

Neil: All right.

Lily: I'll light the Christmas candle.

Cane: Want me to get you some matches?

Lily: No, I have them right here.

Cane: Okay. Is everybody excited? Ready?

Cane: Yes!

Lily: Whoo!

Cane: Yay!

Lily: Dad, do you want Moses to sit with you and open presents or you want me and cane to help him?

Devon: Dad? You all right?

Kevin: Nice work getting that nest moved into roscoe's cage without disturbing any of those baby bunnies.

Mariah: Thank you.

Kevin: Who knew that you could be maternal?

Mariah: Me.

Kevin: [Chuckles]

Mariah: What about old fluffy here? She must have been preggers when Harding got her.

Kevin: I cannot wait to see the look on his face.

Mariah: You know, do you think that Harding would let faith have one of the bunnies? After it's okay to be away from the mom.

Kevin: Yeah, I don't see why not. What is he gonna do with all those baby bunnies?

Mariah: What is he gonna do with one?

Kevin: [Laughs]

Mariah: You know, I'm glad that you called me. This was fun. You're fun.

Kevin: Well, I try.

Mariah: [Laughs]

Kevin: Okay, now that the crisis has been averted, I guess I should head over to Michael's.

Mariah: And I should get going back to Sharon's, so...

Kevin: Merry Christmas, Mariah.

Mariah: Merry Christmas, Kevin.

Jill: I hate to tell you guys this, but your singing voices are terrible.

Colin: I have to agree with that. It's unlike any caroling I've ever heard. More like, uh, fingernails down a blackboard.

Lauren: Really? Well, we apologize for the quality of our voices. I'm a [Clears throat] Little rusty.

Michael: Mwah! We are sorry that we scared you. But I personally would like to start eating sweets and other things that are not good for me, and I would like to open a Christmas Eve present.

Jill: Well, that sounds very appealing to me, and luckily, look what we brought -- champagne, because of our successful year.

Michael: Yes!

Lauren: Fen, will you please show Jill and Colin where the glasses are?

Jill: Please do.

Fenmore: Sure. It's all in the kitchen.

Jill: Okay, great. Thanks.

Michael: [Laughs]

Lauren: Come here.

Michael: What?

Lauren: I have something for you. I wanted to give you something.

Michael: Ohh. [Sighs]

Colin: Well, it looks like your mom and dad started ahead of us.

Jill: [Laughs]

Michael: Lauren just gave me two tickets to the ring cycle in New York...for next October.

Colin: All this for four days of Wagner in 10 months?

Jill: [Chuckles] They must be big fans.

Colin: Mm.

Noah: Is everything okay?

Nick: Yeah, grandpa just wanted to drop by some Christmas cheer.

Victor: Well, how is Christmas going?

Faith: Perfect.

Victor: Yeah?

Faith: I didn't know you were coming, too.

Victor: Yes, sweetie.

Faith: I would have saved you some of the cookies we made for Santa.

Victor: Oh, yeah? Well, that is so sweet of you. But you know what I did? I brought you a present from grandma and me.

Faith: [Chuckles]

Victor: Merry Christmas to you.

Faith: I love you, grandpa.

Victor: Oh, sweetheart. I love you so much. Are you curious what's in there?

Noah: Merry Christmas, grandpa.

Victor: Merry Christmas, Noah. Okay. Well, you have a nice evening.

Nick: Merry Christmas, dad.

Victor: Merry Christmas, son.

Mariah: Is this an alternate universe? What did I just see?

Noah: Oh, just your run-of-the-mill Christmas miracle.

Neil: I'm fine, Devon. Everything is good. It's just a very special evening for me. That's all.

Lily: Okay, Devon. For you. From Neil and Hilary.

Neil: Let me know what it is. My lovely wife did all our shopping this year.

Cane: Yeah, so I want to know what you get the man who's got everything.

Lily: [Chuckles]

Devon: Okay. All right. Let's see what it is. It's a fruitcake.

Lily: What?

Neil: Seriously?

Hilary: Yes, seriously.

Devon: This is, um... it's perfect. It's perfect. Thank you, guys.

Neil: Now, the billionaire who has everything. Now he's got some fruitcake. Who knew?

Devon: Hey, Charlie. Can you hand me the present with that's green with the gold wrapper on it? There you go. Thank you. This is my gift to you and Hilary.

Neil: Should we open it?

Hilary: I'm not waiting.

Devon: The top of the box just comes right off, dad.

Neil: That's the top?

Hilary: It's right --

Neil: Thank you.

Hilary: Oh, wow. It's a crystal bowl.

Devon: Dad, I know you like to dump your change on your dresser every night, and I figured you can have something nice to put it all in.

Neil: Yeah, it's thick and heavy so I can't knock it over. I like that. It's very nice. Thank you, son.

Devon: You're welcome. You're welcome.

Neil: [Clears throat] Um, lily, can I talk to you for a second? Would you guys mind?

Devon: Not at all.

Neil: Hey.

Lily: What?

Neil: I've got something... [Whispering indistinctly]

Devon: I'd like to see you tomorrow for Christmas.

Hilary: No, Devon. We already agreed.

Devon: Just five minutes. Okay? Not in a suite, no beds involved. I just want to talk to you. Please.

Neil: Everyone, I'd like you to gather 'round. I got a surprise for you.

Neil: [Chuckles] I am going to read one of the all-time favorite Christmas stories, "'twas the night before Christmas."

Lily: [Chuckles]

Neil: Thank you.

Lily: Mm-hmm.

Neil: Okay.

Hilary: You're reading? In Braille?

Cane: Didn't know you made so much progress.

Neil: Well, lily has been helping me practice. I got to admit, it's been hard, but, hey. I've got the first part of this story memorized. [Chuckles]

Neil: You ready?

Charlie: Yes.

Neil: Okay. "'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, with hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there"... ..."but I heard him exclaim ere he drove out of sight, 'happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.'"

[Cheers and applause]

Lily: Good job, dad!

Neil: Thank you. [Laughs] Merry Christmas. I appreciate it.

Devon: How long did that take you?

Neil: It took me forever. Hey, what about opening presents in the morning, guys?

[Children cheer]

Neil: Is everybody -- yeah?

Lily: Presents?

Neil: Does anybody want to do that?

Charlie: Yes.

Neil: Yeah? Well, you're gonna have to wait.

[Laughter]

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Phyllis: This is the information I have been craving.

Nick: Is there something you want to tell me?

Hilary: It looks like a wedding ring.

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