Y&R Transcript Tuesday 9/30/14

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Episode # 10508 ~ Nick & Sharon's bachelor/bachelorette party turns into a night to remember.

Provided By Suzanne

Michael: [Groans]

Abby: Obviously, this wasn't part of the plan.

Sharon: Really?

Abby: Sorry?

Lily: I mean, they're really gonna arrest a man using a cane?

Stitch: Come on, man! She's pregnant! Stress isn't good for the baby, man!

Michael: Neil, the things you get me into.

Neil: Back at you, counselor.

Devon: If you could have seen the guy's face.

Neil: Oh, no, no. I can picture the guy's face just fine.

Kevin: [Grunts] Harding! Harding! Harding!

Harding: Hey, fish! You teaching all these first-timers how to behave in prison?

Kevin: You got to let us out of here, man.

Harding: No, I don't.

[All grumbling]

Harding: Okay. All right! Everybody shush! No one's getting out! No bail hearings till the morning! You're all stuck with each other! Enjoy it!

[Grumbling continues]

Noah: What are you smiling about?

Sharon: Nick! [Singsong voice] Nick!

[Men shouting]

Noah: You were so scared, dad! You were so scared! You were scared, right?

Nick: Well, I actually heard you call me "dad," so -- and it's not like I don't know Devon's voice. What is this?

Devon: Oh, I was trying to disguise my voice.

Nick: Yeah. Not a good job. Not good. Not good. What's going on?

Neil: My man Nick Newman, this is just a friendly get-together. That's all it is.

Nick: Oh, the kind of friendly get-together where you put a bag over someone's head and then snatch them off the front porch? And do I smell perfume?

Neil: Yeah. This is a Jabot delivery van -- you know, courtesy of Jack. He got it for the evening.

Jack: Hey, Nick!

Nick: Oh, hey. What is wrong with you and Neil? You are grown men.

Michael: [High-pitched voice] What about me, Nick?! What about me?

Nick: You're almost a grown man.

Michael: Oh, I see how it is. That's the way it's gonna be, Newmanator? You're on.

Nick: What is going on?

Jack: Nick, welcome to your bachelor party.

Michael: Whoo-hoo!

Jack: Hold on!

[All shouting]

[Laughter]

Ashley: Now, here's the thing -- I think we might want to try some of the chemical compounds that were rejected early in product development -- thank you so much -- I mean, before you were on the team, because, you see, those rejections were based on previous testing. But those initial base compounds have been tweaked since then. And it's weird, but we came up with was a strange combination of wet dog and old gym socks, and I personally don't care for that very much.

Stitch: I'm sorry.

Ashley: It's okay. I did warn you, though, we might have to work late, and getting this to market is our highest priority, especially if there's some kind of corporate espionage. If we could just figure this out, you know...

Stitch: We can and we will. It's just this place is a little distracting. You never know who's gonna walk in here.

Ashley: Okay. Do you want to go to the office or something?

Stitch: No. We need to think outside the box. We need someplace inspirational. Come on. I know just the place.

Ashley: Okay.

Lily: Oh, my gosh. You will never believe this.

Cane: Wait, wait, wait. You're gonna tell me how attracted you are to me.

Lily: Yes, but now.

Cane: Okay. All right.

Lily: Housekeeping casually mentioned to me that Devon claimed a room, and, evidently, it wasn't for a business meeting.

Cane: Doesn't mean anything.

Lily: Doesn't mean anything? Of course, it does. He needs something to smile about. I just wish I knew who she was.

Cane: Oh, look. Our sitter just got back to me, and she said the kids are in pajamas, reading books, and they're almost ready for bed.

Lily: Oh, good. Well, we should be done early enough to tuck them in.

Cane: Yeah.

[Knock on door]

Sharon: Nick!

All: Surprise!

Abby: Yah! Nice!

Summer: Um, can I borrow that next Summer, please?

Sharon: [Laughing] Wait. I-I thought that Nick was -- where is he?

Victoria: Oh, don't worry about Nick. He's in good hands. Trust me.

Abby: And you will be in good hands, too. Now why don't you go put on something cute, something that covers a little more?

Sharon: What is going on?

Summer: It's your bachelorette party! It's time to get down, Stepmama!

Sharon: Whoo!

Summer: Yes! Yes!

Abby: Go get changed! Go on!

[Laughter]

Kevin: Hey!

[Indistinct conversations]

Nick: Oh, yes.

Noah: Well, dad, this is it -- G.C. High school football field, where it all began.

Nick: Yeah.

Noah: No, I'm not talking about your career as an all-state outside linebacker, because that never happened. I'm talking about the epic love story of Sharon and Nick. It's right here.

Nick: Yeah. All right. Stop talking. Somebody throw me a beer. Thank you!

Noah: Oh, thank you.

Neil: The smell of this place reminds me of chancellor park -- my wedding day. I'll never forget how gorgeous Hilary looked.

Devon: She still is.

Neil: Yeah, but I'm saying that she's just beautiful on the outside, as well as in her soul. I'm a lucky man.

Kevin: Aw, nice! Somebody brought the good stuff!

Noah: Oh, compliments of the underground storeroom, gentlemen.

Nick: Okay. So, I'm paying for the beer at my surprise bachelor party?

Michael: And we thank you.

Devon: Great taste, Nick. You are the best.

Nick: Yes. You're welcome.

[Can opens]

Jack: What are you looking at me for? You don't need my blessing. You want a drink, it's fine.

Austin: A soda's fine, too.

Kevin: What, are you waiting for permission from your father-in-law?

[Laughter]

Neil: Young man, can I please see some ID?

Austin: ID? Okay. I'll show you an ID.

Neil: As long as it's in Braille.

[Laughter]

Kevin: Here.

Austin: Yeah.

Noah: So, I heard that you and mom -- when you first met, you guys were dating other people. But that chemistry, that connection, was so powerful that you guys --

Austin: That can happen sometimes.

Michael: Absolutely. Absolutely. There's nothing wrong with true love.

Neil: This is actually sounding very sappy here. I mean, we're sitting here, talking about the women that we love in our lives. This is supposed to be a man's party, you know, and all I'm smelling here is perfume. Are we men, or are we men?

Nick: We're men!

Noah: We're men!

Neil: We're men! And this man right here -- I'm the only one who's going home to no woman tonight.

Kevin: No, no, no. There's two of us. I'm not going home to anyone.

Devon: What were you saying, Nick, about when you met Sharon?

Kevin: Yeah. Tell that story.

Nick: Oh, man. Well, you got to understand, back then, I was a serious slice of beefcake.

Noah: [Groans]

Nick: [Laughing] I mean, not to put too fine a point on it.

Michael: Modestly put, my friend.

Neil: When I said, "this is a man's party," this isn't exactly what I meant.

Nick: Okay, just -- okay, just picture me coming back from boarding school, totally single.

Jack: And how much hair gel were you wearing back then?

[Laughter]

Nick: So, I run in to this girl. She's the new girl in town -- blond, gorgeous. She just has this glow about her, and, uh, you know, of course, I hit her with the dazzling smile.

Jack: Well, that explains it.

[Laughter]

Noah: Hopeless romantic.

Nick: So then I look at her, and I say --

Noah: He said, "you must be new in town, because I'd remember you."

Jack: Yes!

Noah: Really.

[Laughter continues]

Sharon: Oh, my gosh! Where are we -- is it dinner?

Lily: Sharon! You made it!

[Cheers and applause]

Abby: And she's full dressed!

Lily: Should I ask?

Sharon: No. No. Never mind. I'm just -- this is so wonderful. Thank you all, and, Nikki, it's very nice to see you.

Victoria: Are you kidding me? She wouldn't miss it. It was her idea.

Sharon: Really? Oh, my gosh! I'm touched!

Nikki: I merely came up with the idea of a shower. The girls put this whole thing together.

Lily: You are a VIP guest of the club this evening, and it's gonna be very elegant but fun, which is our specialty.

Sharon: Thank you, lily. This is lovely.

Kelly: Would anybody like a drink? I know I would.

Lily: I do. Yes.

Kelly: Yeah! Let's do it!

[Indistinct conversations]

Nikki: Gosh. It's pretty cloudy out. Did anybody check the weather forecast?

Mariah: It would really suck if we got rained out -- just tragic.

Lily: Uh, okay. So, we have some hors d'oeuvres behind you and then some virgin and non-virgin cosmos, so please eat, drink, and enjoy. This one's non-virgin.

[Thunder rumbles]

Nikki: Well, now, you guys, it's gonna start raining any minute. We've got to get inside quick.

Lily: The private dining rooms are booked.

Sharon: Oh. Well, you know, that's okay. This was a really nice thought anyway. Thank you.

Summer: We're not giving up, are we? We can't.

Sharon: We won't. You know what? I have an idea. I know another place. Let's go.

Cane: Hey! Did I miss anything good?

Noah: Yes.

Michael: Just a lot of Nick fawning all over himself.

Cane: So, I missed my favorite subject.

Neil: Well, look who showed up. Where you been?

Cane: GCAC. I had to take care of some of Devon's best interests over there.

Austin: Well, you did miss the story about how Nick and Sharon met.

Nick: Yeah. I was just about to get to the part where I had to chase off the competition.

Michael: Is there really such a thing as competition for the great Nicholas Newman?

Jack: Actually, Nick has been on a winning streak for quite a while.

Austin: What were you like back then?

Neil: What do you mean, "back then," kid? Are you talking about the olden days?

Kevin: Way, way, way, way back.

Michael: Way, way, way. Ohhh.

Nick: I was a lot like you, Austin -- no focus, no passion, except for Sharon.

Noah: Oh, dad, that's my mom.

Michael: [Chuckles]

Nick: Yeah, but you're different, you know? You have work ethic. You have drive.

Jack: And there might be a place at Jabot for Austin and his camera.

Austin: Okay. Well, I know Summer -- she came to you about a job, but, listen, I want to prove myself with my work ethic and my ability.

Devon: It's a good mind-set to want to earn it. I've had my dad try to hand me a job once or twice.

Neil: Yeah. What are you talking about, rich dude? Katherine -- what did she hand you, $2 billion?

Jack: You need to earn it, but it helps to get the door open first.

Nick: Yeah. That's what I mean. You know, you didn't jump at the job. You didn't knee-jerk reject it out of pride. You have smarts.

Austin: Well, my wife deserves a husband who isn't an idiot, so I try my best.

Nick: That's what I'm talking about -- integrity. You do your best to instill that in your children, but, ultimately, in the end, it's up to them.

Michael: Hear, hear.

Neil: Yeah, that's true enough, but some of us, you know, got very, very lucky in life, and that -- that means you, Devon.

[Laughter]

Devon: I know -- I know that.

Austin: Well, you did a great job with Summer, and, eh, with Noah, not so bad.

[Laughter]

Kevin: Hey, it is too soon, new guy, for you to be taking on your brother-in-law.

Michael: Okay. You're boring me. Back to the man of the hour. Oh, please, Nick, I beg of you, tell us more of you.

Noah: Oh, oh, I was just a young man with a dream.

Michael: Say it.

Noah: I owned a humble little coffee shop called crimson lights.

Austin: Whoa, whoa. Seriously?

Neil: The heir was pouring coffee.

Kevin: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I poured it better. Just sayin'.

Noah: He did pour it better.

Nick: With Sharon at my side, where we met and, most recently, got engaged.

Cane: So, once again, everything goes full circle, which is...excellent.

Neil: And Victor did his damnedest to get Nick to work at Newman.

Nick: Hey, I was off and on -- mostly off.

Michael: Way off. Way off.

Neil: Yeah. We've all been there.

Austin: Wait. So, everyone here has worked at Newman?

Jack: Actually, uh, some of us have owned it.

Michael: Yeah, and don't forget restless style.

Austin: That sounds familiar.

Jack: Yeah. That was a fashion and lifestyle magazine. You probably saw it on the stands. Nick and I got that started with our wives, and then Nick bought me out and ran it with Phyllis.

Austin: Wait. When you say, "wives," is that when you were married to Phyllis?

Nick: It was, uh, complicated.

Jack: Yeah, to say the least.

Make sure you show this to the bartender.

Summer: Okay.

Kelly: This is awesome! I love it!

Lily: Uh, we left my beautiful roof deck to come here?

Kelly: Well, you know, the other options are getting rained on or partying in your office, so I think this is pretty good.

Lily: Yeah, but why here?

Abby: This is so much better. We can hover over the jukebox, and we don't have to make chitchat with Sharon.

Victoria: Okay. Just slap a smile on for one night. It won't kill you. Nice.

Abby: What's he doing here?

Kelly: Well, that is some look. You sure you're not over him?

Victoria: I am.

Abby: I am. What?

Victoria: I mean, she -- she is...over Tyler.

Kelly: Wow. I'm gonna go get myself a big fat drink.

Abby: Oh, hell, yes.

Stitch: Hi. Looks like a party.

Victoria: Much like your party of two. Were you hoping for a bonus or something?

Stitch: [Sighs]

Tyler: [Sighs] Don't you have people to hang out with?

Mariah: Oh, you mean my new mom and her posse? I'm sure you heard about all of that. I'm almost a Newman by marriage now. You know, those are exactly the type of homeowners we would have ripped off in the old days -- stupid rich liars.

Tyler: Come on. Why would you even come with Sharon if you're gonna talk that way?

Mariah: That's my form of entertainment. By the way, you used to like my smart mouth. You used to like all of me. So, tell me something -- how ticked off is Abby that you are talking to me? Sneak a peek for me? [Chuckles]

Tyler: [Chuckles] You know what? I'm not part of your little games anymore.

Mariah: No. You're really not. You're also not an artist who was gonna change the face of the world, but some people change.

Tyler: Yeah. And I guess some people don't.

Mariah: And proud of it. Richie, hi!

Richie: Hey, kid! Hey! Hanging with this group?

Mariah: Please, please don't ask.

Richie: Yeah. I'm gonna sell three chardonnays and one cosmo all night. When it's lame like this, I don't make anything in tips.

Mariah: Maybe I can fix that. I bet you I can get this party started.

Sharon: Okay, it's not the rooftop bar, but the place has its own ambiance.

Lily: Oh, you mean like Billy's dive bar? [Laughs]

Sharon: No. I used to come here with Nick when we were kids. I mean, we were not underage, but -- Nikki.

Nikki: What? Oh, of course.

Sharon: You know, this place is nice. You can sort of let your hair down, and you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not.

Richie: What can I get you ladies -- vodka tonics all around?

Nikki: I'll have a club soda, please.

Lily: Um, I'll have a cosmo.

Kelly: Two.

Sharon: I'll have a chardonnay.

Richie: You got it.

Kelly: Hmm. [Chuckles]

Stitch: Ashley and I came to talk about work -- that's it.

Victoria: Great. Well, you don't have to explain that to me, because, honestly, it's really none of my business.

Stitch: It can be if that's what you want. I can tell Ashley we're done for the night.

Mariah: Summer. Summer, Summer, Summer. I need 50 bucks.

Summer: For what?

Mariah: Now.

Summer: Well, what makes you think I have $50?

Mariah: Can you please just give it to me now?

Summer: [Sighs] Fine. Here.

Mariah: Thank you. Whoo!

Sharon: Maybe this was a bad idea coming here. I should have just let everyone off the hook.

Sharon: No, no! This is fun! Everybody's having a great time, really! Whoo!

Richie: All right, listen up, everybody! We're taking requests. The first one goes out to Sharon in honor of her big day coming up.

Sharon: What?

[Mid-tempo music plays]

Sorry, ma'am, but I didn't get you at the door. I need to see some I.D.

Sharon: Uh, excuse me?

No, excuse me.

Lily: Oh, my gosh!

[Laughter]

All: Whoo!

Lily: Oh, my gosh!

[Laughter continues]

[Music continues]

Kelly: Whoo! Whoo!

Lily: Yeah!

Kelly: Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

Lily: [Laughs] Oh, yeah!

Austin: Well, I understand complicated. I mean, the way Summer and I -- well, we were fugitives so... you want to talk about baseball?

[Laughter]

Kevin: What? What? Suddenly we're squeamish about divorce, marital problems of the conjugal persuasion?

Michael: I don't think that means what you think it means.

Kevin: I-I'm just saying that, you know, life happens.

Cane: So, how much has he had to drink?

Neil: Mnh-mnh. That's not the booze talking. That's the pain.

Kevin: Like, I've had two wives where the cheese has fallen off the cracker, as they say.

Neil: That's a little bit of the booze talking.

Kevin: And I -- and I don't know Nick the way you all know Nick. I'm not his son or his stepson or his son-in-law, and we've never shared any ex-wives.

Michael: [Chuckles]

Kevin: But look at him, you know? This isn't his first trip to the altar. He's not young and stupid, and he's not all like, "oh, marriage -- it's gonna be awesome and perfect!"

Michael: Here, brother. I think you should eat a chip.

Kevin: No, no, no. Listen. Listen. Listen.

Nick: No, no, no. Let him go. Let him go.

Kevin: I have a point. Life happens, right? And people get sick and people cheat. Sometimes people fall so far off the deep end that you almost drown trying to bring them back. And sometimes love just dies. But it didn't for Nick and Sharon. That's my point, okay? Constantly surrounded by chaos and upheaval, and they're solid. They're in love. They're together. Do you have any idea how huge that is? To Nick and Sharon.

Michael: There you go.

Noah: To Nick and Sharon.

Michael: All right.

Cane: To Nick and Sharon.

Noah: To Nick and Sharon!

Cane: To Sharon and Nick.

Jack: There you go!

[All howl]

[All cheer]

Lily: Go, Sharon! Go!

[All cheer] Whoa!

Kelly: That's it!

[Laughter]

[Cheers and applause]

Summer: Yes! Yeah!

Lily: Take it off! Take it off! All right!

[Cheers and applause]

Sharon: Thank you. Thank you.

[Laughter]

Kelly: Yeah! Good job!

Lily: Yay!

Richie: Ladies...

Kelly: Ooh!

Richie: ...This round is on the gentleman at the bar.

Kelly: Let me see.

Lily: More -- give me more.

Kelly: Delicious. Oh, wait.

Lily: Thank you so much.

Mariah: You are a hero.

Tyler: [Chuckles] You really wear me out. You know that, right?

Mariah: I've heard that before.

[Both chuckle]

Richie: Excuse me. One for you?

Summer: Uh...

Nikki: Hey, hold it. You see that stamp on her hand? She's underage.

Richie: Come back when you're legal. We like a little class in this joint.

Nikki: [Sighs]

Summer: I wasn't gonna drink it.

Nikki: No, I'm sure you weren't. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea having you come here.

Summer: No, I'm -- I'm fine. Are you?

Nikki: Well, this isn't my kind of event, for obvious reasons, but we have to support Sharon, so I've got to find somebody to take care of this.

Abby: [Whispering indistinctly]

Kelly: Cheers one more time!

All: Cheers!

[Laughter]

Kelly: Okay, ladies!

Lily: Ladies, it is time to shake your booties!

Both: Come on!

Stitch: You know, I guess this place isn't very conducive to creative problem-solving. Bad idea.

Ashley: I think it's a great idea. It's called a brain reset.

Stitch: Oh, yeah?

Ashley: Yeah! It's where you try to find a creative solution while being distracted from the problem at hand.

Stitch: Really?

Ashley: Hey, Victoria. How are you, sweetie?

Victoria: Thank you. Uh, I'm fine. I'm not eavesdropping, trying to steal your latest product or anything like that.

Ashley: Uh-oh. I think maybe Abby spoke with you. She's very protective of our new product.

Stitch: Yeah, but we're, uh -- we're actually taking a break from work. Uh, you know, maybe a quick dance? Come on. You game?

Victoria: No, actually. Why don't you guys dance? I-I'm good. I -- you know, I twisted my ankle, remember?

Ashley: Actually, we're here on just business, Victoria.

Victoria: Oh. Okay.

Stitch: [Sighs]

Lily: Come on, Sharon! Shake what your mama gave you!

Kelly: Up, up, up! Come on! Let's do it!

Sharon: Okay.

Kelly: You can do it!

Sharon: Whoo!

Abby: It's not like we're asking you to drop it like it's hot. Come on. Drink, drink. Dance, dance. Leave, leave. [Laughs]

Sharon: Oh, okay. I didn't know that was what the agenda was.

Kelly: Um, hey, Abby, why don't you come over to the jukebox with me and we'll, um, pick out a new song?

Abby: Are we friends now? Oh, my God! That is so cute! 'Cause maybe my uncle Jack will marry you and we could throw a party this fun for you! Yay!

Ashley: We're getting you a soda. We're getting you a soda. We're getting you a soda.

Abby: Mom, come on. I am of age. I am perfectly entitled to have a drink.

Ashley: Abby, you've had more than one drink, okay?

Abby: Okay. Well, I'm not talking about the drink. It's gonna take more than one drink for me to pretend like this isn't a disaster of epic proportions! Yeah!

Kelly: I think it's a perfectly fun evening.

Abby: Really? I'm not talking about the night. I am talking about this marriage. How many times have you been married? I'm sorry. Let's see. There was Nick, Adam...

Ashley: Stop it, Abby. Abby.

Abby: ...[Laughing] My dad, Nick again. Yeah! Come on!

Ashley: Knock it off. Stop this right now.

Abby: [Laughs]

Ashley: Stop it.

Nikki: Well, at least Abby isn't a hypocrite hiding her feelings. I would think you'd respect that, Ashley.

Ashley: Excuse me? Please just stop. I mean, there's hypocrisy, and there's having good manners, okay? Knock it off.

Nikki: And then there's being in denial. If she says she's miserable and having an awful time, well, then, that's how she feels.

Victoria: Mom, are you okay?

Nikki: Honey, I'm fine. I'm just -- I'm a little emotional, you know? My son is getting married.

Abby: Ooh, and, yes, and he will get divorced again!

Mariah: Hey, princess, why don't you do us all a favor and shut the hell up? You got dumped! That's what this is about. If you want everybody to whine and complain like you, tough cookies. It's not gonna happen. So, why don't you take your pity party home and let Sharon celebrate however she wants to?

Abby: You spit venom about Sharon every chance you get. Yeah. You do. You are nothing but a lying, cheating --

Mariah: You have two options -- shut the hell up or go home.

[Men cheering and laughing]

Noah: What?

Nick: Sharon. What are you doing here?

Phyllis: [Gasps] [Crying]

Nick: All right. Who planned this -- you?

Sharon: No! No! No one did. I just made this sudden decision to come here. Did you follow us?

Nick: No!

Noah: It's just your deep psychic love connection.

Michael: Well, it was gonna rain outside. It's dry in here. Good a place as any. Nick!

Kevin: The beer selection is better in the van.

Summer: Austin? Hi!

Austin: Summer!

Summer: Hi!

Austin: Hi! [Grunts]

Summer: Why do you smell like perfume?

Austin: That's a long story, so... [Chuckles] The Jabot van.

Lily: I am stealing your bride-to-be! Whoo!

Nick: All right. All right.

Sharon: Hey, big fun, bust a move! Whoo!

Noah: Yeah! Go!

[Laughter]

Ashley: Oh.

Abby: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Ashley: Stitch. Come on. Think outside the box. Let's go.

Mariah: [Laughs] What, are you wishing that that was you? I have some more singles left over if you want some.

[Laughter]

Mariah: Oh, come on. You're being pathetic. Let me throw you a bone, big boy.

[Indistinct conversations, laughter]

Neil: Hey.

Devon: Hmm?

Neil: Everyone dancing, huh?

Devon: Yep. Yep.

Neil: Yeah? What'd they do -- they move the tables and the chairs or what?

Devon: It's a full-on dance party. You want to stick around, or do you want to head out?

Neil: No, no, no. I'm good. I like to listen to it.

Devon: That's -- that's nice.

[All cheering]

Noah: You're crazy! You're all crazy!

[Cheers and applause]

Nick: Cheers.

Noah: Cheers.

Nick: I'm gonna go dance with your mother.

Noah: No.

Nick: Yeah, yeah.

Noah: No.

Nick: Yeah.

Noah: Oop. There it goes. It's all downhill from here.

[Mid-tempo music plays]

Jack: Bizarre, isn't it?

Nikki: Hmm?

Jack: Oh, watching all these people drink, get a little loopy, knowing that you and I will never get to do that again.

Nick: Hey, you, me -- darts. Let's go.

Jack: Excuse me.

Mariah: Hey. Another beer. Thank you so much.

Kevin: [Clears throat] So, are you done doing lap dances with Turk thrust?

Mariah: His name is Steve.

Kevin: Well, that figures.

Mariah: [Chuckles]

Nick: Ohh! Bad result but nice try.

Jack: I'm just lulling you into a false sense of security. That way I can close in for the kill.

Nick: Yeah, but now you told me your evil plan. That's not an effective strategy.

Jack: No strategy, Nick. No lies, no deception -- just the truth. I'm good at this.

Nick: So, if Sharon throws the bouquet, are you hoping Kelly catches it?

Jack: Summer has gained a father and lost a mother in the last year. I'm not sure a new stepmother would be in her best interests.

Nick: Yeah, well, Summer seems pretty happy with Sharon, and, I got to say, I'm impressed with the way she's handled Mariah. She is pretty prickly. And, considering she's basically been lied to her whole life by the man who raised her, it's...

Jack: Well, maybe that's what Summer and Mariah have in common.

Nick: Wait. What? Is there something you want to say to me?

Jack: Yeah. Your turn.

Michael: Oh, yes!

Ex con: Hey.

Michael: Hey. How are ya?

Ex con: Are you Michael Baldwin?

Michael: Yes. Have we met?

[All gasp]

Jack: Oh, my God!

Nick: You got a problem, buddy?

Ex con: This jackass put me in jail when he was DA.

Neil: Hey! Why you got to be so rude to my friends? Didn't your mama teach you any good manners?

Ex con: You telling me your wingman's this blind guy? Man, you really are stupid.

Neil: [Chuckles] Wait. What did you just call me?

Devon: Dad, come on.

Ex con: I called you a blind guy.

Neil: You're a funny dude.

Ex con: Yeah.

Neil: I might be blind... [Grunts]

Devon: All right! Dad! Dad!

Neil: How's that for you? How's that for aim?

Ex con: Hey, what are you doing, man?!

Lily: [Shouts indistinctly]

Cane: Hey, hey, hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Victoria: Duck down, Nick!

[People scream]

Sharon: That's my husband!

[People scream]

Cane: Hey, Nick! Nick, come here.

Sharon: That's my husband!

Bitch! Bitch, get off me! Bitch!

Abby: What the hell --

Mariah: Oh, my God! Don't you --

Abby: [Shrieking]

Bitch!

Abby: [Shrieking continues]

[People shouting indistinctly]

Everybody just relax! Now come on!

Noah: What are you smiling about?

Nick: Ah, it's just with all that chaos and turmoil that is life, we're still together.

Noah: You guys are so crazy in love, not even jail can snap you out of it.

Nick: [Sighs]

Noah: [Scoffs] Look, it's...not what it looks like.

Courtney: It never is, jailbird. But you all should be thanking the half-naked bouncer at the bar. He refused to rat anyone out.

Ashley: So, what? Does this mean we can go?

Courtney: Not quite. Richie, the bartender, is still pressing charges. And your bail hasn't been set yet.

Noah: Bye.

Nikki: Nicholas Newman, in front of all these people, the best bachelors parties I've been to, I can't remember, but it will be very hard to forget this one. And I am happy for you.

Nick: Thank you.

Neil: Me, too, right? No small thing, making a family, putting all these different people in one place, some born to you, some not. You're just bringing them together. They do right by you, and you do right by them.

Jack: Sharon is the defining love of your life -- that and your love for your kids, Cassie, Noah, Faith... Summer.

Nick: Jack --

Jack: No, wait. You have a great family. And now you and Sharon are gonna make it official again, and I wish you joy -- both of you.

Nick: Thanks, man.

Kelly: Well, I know I might be a little new to the group to be piping in on all this, but, uh, boy -- seeing how you guys love each other is just so adorable and powerful and just really clear what you two share, and -- I don't know -- it's just reassuring to know that still exists.

Mariah: Like unicorns.

Kevin: That's it. You two are like unicorns.

[Laughter]

Summer: You know what? That's true. Y-your love -- it's almost mythical, but it's not. It's -- it's real and it's beautiful, and... we're all really, really happy for you.

Noah: [Clapping]

Jack: Oh, yeah.

Noah: For the unicorns.

[Applause]

Neil: Unicorns!

[Laughter]

Michael: Whoo! Yeah!

Harding: You're free to go.

Nick: Oh! We can really leave?

Harding: Bill Abbott woke the judge up, paid all your bail.

Ashley: Ohh. Our brother is so generous.

Summer: See you at the wedding?

Mariah: Hey, matching dresses and bracelets -- I'm so excited.

Summer: Mariah, it might actually be fun.

Mariah: And it might also be like the black plague. Your husband is waiting.

Michael: Hey, Neil, you know what?

Neil: What?

Michael: You can tell her you were my hero today.

Neil: [Chuckles] Sure.

Michael: [Chuckles]

Tyler: Well, you're really fitting in. These are your people now, Mariah.

Mariah: Not all of them.

Stitch: I'm gonna get a cab. Let me drop you off.

Victoria: You know, I should make sure that my mom's okay.

Stitch: I can drop you both off.

Victoria: No. You know what? We're gonna be okay on our own.

Cane: So much for our early night, huh?

Lily: No more parties, okay?

Cane: Agreed, baby. Come on. Let's go.

Sharon: [Chuckles] That was...

Nick: Amazing, awe-inspiring, reeking of perfume.

Sharon: We have got to try and get some sleep.

Nick: Yeah. We will -- you here, me down at the tack house.

Sharon: What?! No!

Nick: Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to jinx anything.

Sharon: All right. I won't argue.

Nick: Besides, this is just gonna make the wedding night that much hotter.

Sharon: You should have said that first.

Nick: [Chuckles]

Sharon: [Chuckles] Good night.

Nick: Good night. Oh, you know what? That's not gonna cut it. I need one more for this long walk home.

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Kevin: There's also the other thing. You like me.

Mariah: [Chuckling] Oh, do I.

Victor: I flew all the way to America to find out if my son is my granddaughter Faith's father.

Avery: I promise you this case will never go to trial.

Harding: You can't make evidence go away.

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