Y&R Transcript Monday 4/7/14

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Episode # 10384 ~ Victor & Chelsea deal with unexpected news; Avery's new projects create a stir; Billy & Victoria come to a crossroads.

Provided By Suzanne

Proofread by Akpene

Jack: Where on earth did you get the idea that I'm dating Kelly?

Abby: Hello! I just heard you on the phone with her confirming your date.

Jack: Dinner. Confirming dinner.

Abby: Oh. I feel so foolish. You know what? I don't get it. It's like you made it your mission to become this woman's personal knight in shining armor, defending her non-existent honor... wait. Oh, my god. I do get it. I know exactly what you're up to.

Kelly: Hey.

Tyler: Kelly?

Kelly: Can I have the, um...?

Tyler: Hey, uh, do you have a minute?

Kelly: Sure.

Tyler: Tyler Michaelson. We met at Delia's fundraiser?

Kelly: Oh. I remember.

Tyler: Yeah.

Kelly: Uh, nice to see you again, Tyler.

Tyler: I was hoping that you could please sit with me just for a second. I just need your opinion on something really quick, because, well, because I'm a guy. [Chuckles]

Kelly: Yeah. I get that. So, what's the part you need my help for?

Tyler: Well, the thing is, I found the perfect woman, but, um, do you think this is a perfect ring?

Stitch: You're asking the wrong person, my friend. Other people's marriages -- Kelly couldn't possibly care less. Right, Kel?

Billy: Victoria, please. It's a simple question. Just tell me. Did you sleep with Stitch?

Victoria: Let's not do this now.

Billy: How many times have you tried to get this through my head? If we can't be honest with each other, we don't stand a chance. And you're right, and that's all I'm asking for.

Victoria: Can we just be honest someplace quieter?

Billy: Why do we have to be quiet?

Victoria: Billy, not now.

Billy: When? Huh? When's a good time to have this conversation? You and Stitch left the Underground. And then what?

Victoria: And then I slept with him.

Avery: I look forward to working with you, too. And thank you. Thank you so much for thinking of me.

Dylan: Hey.

Avery: Hey.

Dylan: Place looks great.

[Door closes]

Dylan: So do you. Welcome home.

Avery: Hmm.

Dylan: I want to hear all about New York.

Avery: And I will tell you all about New York after you tell me what's wrong.

Dylan: Uh, what do you mean? I'm fine.

Avery: No, you're not fine. Can I help?

Dylan: [Sighs] Uh, you know, I wish you could. I wish I could. Unfortunately, I don't think there's much anybody can do.

Avery: About?

Dylan: Just Billy and Victoria and Chelsea and Chloe.

Avery: Oh, no. What now?

Dylan: Well, I walked into the coffeehouse, and Chelsea and Chloe were having a pretty nasty fight.

Avery: Well, Chloe kidnapped Connor.

Dylan: So did I, remember? And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse between Billy and Victoria, she's starting to make some serious mistakes on her own, and... it's just like this whole fallout with Delia and the whole thing with Adam, it just keeps ruining a lot of good people's lives, and it doesn't seem like we can do anything to make things right again.

Avery: Thank you. You just validated a decision I made right before you got here. Unfortunately, I don't think you're gonna like it.

Chelsea: No, if the dental records say that that body is Adam's, then the dental records are wrong. It -- it can't be, Victor. It's just -- it's not Adam.

Victor: Chelsea, there was no mistake. I wish there were.

Chelsea: But -- but that phone call, that hang-up phone call I got from New Orleans was...

Victor: From a confused, old lady who was calling from the garden district of New Orleans to dial her sister's number in Pennsylvania. She misdialed her. That's all.

Chelsea: A wrong number?

Victor: Yeah.

Chelsea: That's all that was?

Victor: Yeah.

Chelsea: Then it's... [Voice breaking] then it's true? Adam's gone?

Victor: Come here.

Chelsea: [Sobs]

Victor: [Sighs] He's gone.

Dylan: So, is this, uh, a good news/bad news situation, or is this a bad news/bad news situation?

Avery: You know, I don't like to think of this as good news/bad news situation. Why don't we just call it news?

Dylan: Okay. Go ahead.

Avery: Okay. You know how I do pro bono work for the Innocence Foundation.

Dylan: [Sighs] Yes.

Avery: Well, just before you got here, one of the lawyers there called me and asked if I would do some consulting on a couple cases.

Dylan: Okay, that's, uh... what kind of cases? A murder case?

Avery: Uh, you know, they're quite serious, so there might be a murder in there.

Dylan: So you don't know?

Avery: I don't know because they're not my cases. I would be consulting.

Dylan: For now. But I know how involved you like to get.

Avery: Yes, well, is that a bad thing? Getting involved, fighting for the wrongfully accused?

Dylan: Well, the last case you took was a murder case for the Innocence Foundation, and your brakes were tampered with and this whole apartment was ransacked.

Avery: That was an extremely rare situation.

Dylan: But you can't say for sure that it's completely safe.

Avery: Well, you can't say that about your job. I mean, look at the coffeeshop. That demonic espresso machine could fall on you.

Dylan: You're not comparing the Wheeler case to my espresso machine.

Avery: I'm just saying all jobs have hazards. Are you mad that I didn't discuss this with you before making a decision?

Dylan: Look, I know how important it is for you to fight these injustices. I mean, I know that's who you are, so I can't be angry. That's what you want to do.

Avery: It's what I want to do. Thank you.

Dylan: I'm not thrilled with the decision, but I do understand it.

Avery: Good.

Dylan: Good.

Avery: But that's not the decision I thought you wouldn't like.

Abby: Uncle Jack, you're a genius.

Jack: Thank you?

Abby: Letting Kelly think you're interested so she'll leave Billy alone and let him focus on putting his marriage back together. It is positively inspired. And that gold digger won't suspect a thing.

Jack: I hate to disappoint you, but I've already given my best shot at keeping their marriage from here on.

Abby: Then what is dinner about?

Jack: I thought it might be nice if someone in the Abbott family showed Kelly that the Abbotts are kind and compassionate and not a lynch mob, which would be a whole lot easier if you'd stop referring to her as a gold digger.

Abby: I'm entitled to my opinion.

Jack: So am I. And in my opinion, Kelly is a decent person who made an unfortunate and impulsive mistake. Listen to me. Stop worrying about Billy and Victoria, keep your nose out of my business, and use your boundless energy to enjoy your brand-new engagement to Tyler.

Abby: Thank you. And enjoy your stupid dinner. And don't you dare fall for that "unfortunate, impulsive" woman.

Jack: You know me better. I'm also happily engaged. When Phyllis comes back -- and she will -- I'm gonna be here waiting for her. [Sighs]

Kelly: Ben, let's just face it. This whole victim act of yours isn't really working for you. You couldn't hold on to your marriage.

Stitch: No thanks to you.

Kelly: So just pull up your big-boy pants and get over it. Jenna had every right to know who she was married to.

Stitch: [Chuckles] And you just cared about Jenna's rights so much. You felt morally compelled to enlighten her.

Kelly: Well, guess what? Someone had --

Tyler: Okay, uh, it was nice seeing both of you.

Kelly: Tyler. Sorry. That ring -- it's lovely. She's gonna be very happy.

Tyler: Thanks.

Stitch: Do you just not know the word "enough"?

Kelly: Are you crazy? Really? Are you nuts? You picked this fight. I thought we said we were gonna stay out of each other's way.

Stitch: That was before Jenna finalized the divorce and told me she's taking our son to Australia.

Kelly: Australia? Well, that's unfortunate.

Stitch: Yeah.

Kelly: But really not my concern. What? Are you coming after me now seeking retribution? It's really not your style, Ben. You're a lot of things, but you're not a revenge monger.

Stitch: I am just trying to keep you from destroying another relationship. You need to stay away from Billy.

Kelly: I want you to listen to me closely. I am staying away from Billy.

Stitch: How many more families you gonna destroy before you get bored and decide to switch hobbies?

Victoria: Okay, listen, don't blame Ben, all right? There was no gun pointed to my head.

Billy: So it's "Ben" now, huh? Since when?

Victoria: Since the night that you took off looking for Adam, okay? I was frantic. I didn't know what was going on. I was worried. The mood you left in, Billy, it had me really scared. And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Ben showed up. He came by to check on your broken hand -- and to check on us. And I invited him to stay for dinner because I could use the company. And there was nothing more to it than that. It was as innocent as I stupidly thought your friendship with Kelly was.

Billy: I swear to god to you, Vicki, Kelly was a terrible, mindless, one-night mistake.

Victoria: And after I found out about it, I filed separation papers. But for some reason, even though it was my idea, I just couldn't bring myself to sign them.

Billy: You couldn't?

Victoria: No. I just kept going back and forth wondering how you could betray me after I stood by you when nobody else would. And how was I supposed to give up on a marriage to a man that I love so much? So I was driving myself crazy with these thoughts, and I... I just needed to go for a walk to clear my head. A walk right here in the park.

Billy: Oh, my god. You saw me with Kelly?

Victoria: It's amazing. Really amazing. My head just cleared right up. No more questions. No more confusion. No more hope. I was just done.

Billy: For what it's worth --

Victoria: I'm sure you have some sort of explanation. You always do.

Billy: Vicki, this wasn't some sort of pre-arranged meeting. I was in the park doing the same thing you were -- trying to clear my head. I ran into Kelly.

Victoria: You couldn't just keep walking? Less than 24 hours after you promised me that you would stay away from her?

Billy: She was upset.

Victoria: She was upset? Oh, okay. Well, sure. Then why keep a promise to me if she was upset?

Billy: You saw me and Kelly in the park, and then you ended up at the Underground with Stitch?

Victoria: After I left here, I went to Nick's club. Ben was already there, and he was dealing with his own night from hell.

Billy: And so you both thought, uh, having sex would numb the pain? And how is that different exactly from what happened between me and Kelly? Or were you just trying to even the score?

Victoria: You know me better than that. You and I were still married when you left Kelly's bed and you came home to me. By the time Ben and I happened, I had already signed separation papers. So no cheating, no lies, not one damn thing to apologize for.

Stitch: That was harsh, even for me. It's this thing with Jenna and Max.Kelly: Yeah, I'm surprised at her, Ben. You and Max are so close.

Stitch: He's my best friend, Kel.

Kelly: He is. And you're gonna miss him like crazy. And it's not just the big stuff. You're gonna miss the little stuff, too, like teaching him how to shoot a free throw.

Stitch: Well, he's... [Chuckles] he's probably better off if someone else teaches him that. I have a terrible technique.

Kelly: Yeah. And you're gonna miss letting him beat you at video games and coming up with names for his pet turtle.

Stitch: [Chuckles] How do you know he's gonna have a pet turtle?

Kelly: Oh, please. Every little boy has a pet turtle. But the difference is, there's cell phones, there's computers, there's big planes you can go on. You will see your little boy. I don't care what continent he's on. He's still on the planet. Guess how much I would give to be able to say that about Sam.

Stitch: I've been so busy throwing this big pity party for myself, I didn't even think about how much worse off I could be. I'm sorry, Kel. I am. I'm sorry for everything.

Noah: What's up, player? Don't make me tell Abby I caught you staring at another blonde.

Tyler: Ha. You wouldn't do something like that.

Noah: You're damn right I would. You mess with my family, you mess with me. But lucky for you, I know you're too far gone.

Tyler: You know what? You're gonna even gonna hear me deny that. In fact...

Noah: Oh.

Tyler: Check it out.

Noah: [Whistles] Buddy.

Tyler: You think it's okay? That was the most expensive diamond I could afford.

Noah: Congratulations, man. She's gonna love it.

Tyler: Even though she can afford one 10 times this quality.

Noah: If Abby cared about that kind of thing, you wouldn't be in love with her. And she sure as hell wouldn't have said yes.

Tyler: Yeah, but she said yes to a lame, half-assed proposal. But now that I've got Victor's blessing, I'm gonna do it again, and I'm gonna do it right.

Jack: Victor, I heard things didn't go so well in Washington. I thought I'd stop by and... Chelsea? Hey, what's wrong?

Chelsea: They found Adam's body, Jack.

Jack: The police are sure it's his?

Victor: If we had left it up to the police, we would never have known what happened to Adam. My private investigator matched Adam's dental records to a John Doe. He was found in a morgue two counties away.

Jack: Oh, dear god.

Chelsea: I let myself believe that Adam had somehow survived that night -- that he made it to New Orleans to recuperate.

Jack: Why New Orleans?

Victor: Chelsea got a hang-up call one night. We traced it back to New Orleans.

Chelsea: There were no words. There was just this...silence, and I was so sure that it was him.

Victor: It was a confused, old lady who simply dialed the wrong number.

Chelsea: When Victor told me it came from New Orleans, a city Adam loved, I just let my imagination get the best of me.

Jack: So, you and your private investigator have been stringing this poor woman along, feeding her false hope?

Victor: This is my son we are talking about. I was desperately hoping as desperately as Chelsea that it was Adam, okay?

Jack: Of course you were. I apologize.

Chelsea: Well, at the very least, Billy and Chloe will get some satisfaction knowing Adam died cold and alone. [Sniffles] At least now we can bring him home, say goodbye.

Chelsea: Adam and I never spoke about where he wanted to be buried. Um...maybe in Kansas by his mom or maybe, uh, Paris. He wanted us to start a new life there. But I don't really know. I'm sorry.

Victor: There's no need for you to make a decision right now.

Jack: And whatever decision you make, we will both be there for you.

Victor: And I will see to it that the body is transported back to Genoa City.

Jack: It's been a long day. How about I help you get home?

Chelsea: I have my car, but thank you.

Victor: Are you sure you should be alone now?

Chelsea: I won't be alone. I have a dinner date with the best little boy in the whole, wide world. He looks more and more like his daddy every day. [Sighs] [Sniffles]

Victor: Bye. Drive carefully, please, okay?

Chelsea: Yeah.

Jack: In case it needs to be said, I intend to honor Adam's wish that that baby not be taken away from Chelsea.

Victor: And it doesn't need to be said, Jack. For once, in our long, hostile acquaintance, you and I are on the same page.

Abby: Excuse me. Hi, Stitch.

Stitch: Hey.

Abby: I just wanted to thank you for getting my sister home safely from the underground the other night.

Stitch: Oh, uh...pfft. You know, I really didn't do anything. I just called her a cab. [Chuckles]

Abby: Come on. We both know you did a lot more than that. Victoria told me all about it.

Stitch: She did?

Abby: Oh. There's my fiancé. Thank you again. I'll see you soon.

Tyler: Hey.

Billy: I hope you know I will regret that one night with Kelly for the rest of my life. I had no business letting it go that far.

Victoria: I understand it better than I did a few days ago. That's for sure.

Billy: It was really only once.

Victoria: I believe that.

Billy: But who cares, right? It was one time too many. And let's face it, huh? It was just the latest in a long line of regrets I've asked you to forgive. If I were you, I'd leave me, too.

Victoria: That's your advice to me?

Billy: Well, you know, I'm terrible at giving advice. Who would listen to me?

Victoria: Listen. You have no idea how badly I want to ask you to come home and how badly I want to tear up those separation papers and try one more time.

Billy: Do it.

Victoria: Billy. [Sniffles]

Billy: Ask me. Just -- say the words, Vicki.

Victoria: If I thought that we wouldn't end up exactly where we are right now sooner or later having the same conversation, if I thought that I wouldn't live a part of every day bracing myself to go through the same kind of pain, if I could think of something different to do or say or try. But I can't, and I'm so tired. I've already loved you the best that I can. [Sighing] I'll have Avery file the papers first thing tomorrow.

Dylan: There's more?

Avery: The cooking show.

Dylan: That's right. I almost forgot. So, what happened? What did the producers say? Did they make you an offer? Do they want you to do the show?

Avery: It went very well. They want me to do a test segment.

Dylan: That's great! I knew it. I knew that you would be a hit. I knew it.

Avery: Dylan. Dylan. I'm turning down the cooking show.

Dylan: What?

Avery: Yep. That's the decision I didn't think you'd like.

Dylan: You're right. Why would you do that? This is a great opportunity, and you're perfect for it.

Avery: Yes, and the producer thought so, too, but then the Innocence Foundation called.

Dylan: So?

Avery: Okay, let's see. Uh, helping two innocent people get out of prison or sharing my foolproof quiche recipe with the world? What do you mean, "so"?

Dylan: Okay, I'm not trivializing the Innocence Foundation. I know that's what you want to do.

Avery: Thank you.

Dylan: Which is exactly why I think if you turn this cooking show down, you're gonna regret it.

Avery: [Sighs]

Kelly: You hypocrite! You and Victoria? Are you kidding me?!

Stitch: Hey, you want to say it a little louder? I think there's a guy in Seattle who didn't quite hear that.

Kelly: I should have seen this coming. Of course you would swoop down on poor Victoria when her and Billy were having problems.

Stitch: Oh, that is hilarious coming from the root of the problems.

Kelly: Billy and I were friends. Friends.

Stitch: Oh, yeah, yeah. You made a mistake. You shared some grief. You had a weak moment. Blah, blah, blah. So you keep saying.

Kelly: I forgot that you weren't a fan of the truth.

Stitch: If -- and that's a very big if -- Victoria and I had a weak moment of some shared grief for the death of our marriages, who the hell are you to throw stones?

Kelly: Oh, my god. You think you have a chance with her.

Stitch: No more than you thought you had a chance with Billy.

Kelly: That never, ever entered my mind. You've seen Billy and Victoria together. Even if they don't make it through this with their marriage intact, have you ever seen two people more in love?

Stitch: Yeah, that's really enough, right? Just like there really is a tooth fairy.

Kelly: Poor Victoria. Talk about out of the frying pan and into the fire. Will you give her a message for me? Tell her good luck with that.

Billy: I'm just gonna grab the rest of my stuff. Uh, I won't be long.

Victoria: Yeah, of course. No hurry.

[Door closes]

Billy: Do you mind if I spend a few minutes with Johnny? There's something about watching him sleep.

Victoria: Yeah. Sure.

Billy: It's kind of funny watching him sleep with his butt up in the air. [Chuckles] I guess he doesn't do that anymore. He's grown up.

Victoria: Yeah. Kids, they grow out of things. But he's still the happiest, sweetest, little boy.

Billy: Yeah, if he only could stay that way.

Victoria: I'll never keep him from you, Billy. You know that, right? I would never do that to either one of you. He adores you. And you're an amazing dad.

Billy: Thank you.

Victoria: [Sighs]

Avery: Okay, I might have a regret at first, but I love my work with the Innocence Foundation. There's nothing more satisfying to me than helping people.

Dylan: Absolutely.

Avery: Dylan, this is what I do. These people, they come to me in the roughest times of their lives, and I have the skills and the expertise to do something about it. And you times that by 100 or so, and that's this Innocence Foundation opportunity.

Dylan: Right. And it'll gratify you like crazy, and it's gonna stress the hell out of you at the same time.

Avery: Well, that's true, but --

Dylan: And what are you gonna do to help yourself just unwind and relax, you know, besides me when you're so stressed out that you can't even think straight? What do you do?

Avery: I'm gonna cook.

Dylan: You're gonna cook. Exactly. So, what about all those stressed-out people there who don't know how therapeutic cooking can be? "There is nothing more satisfying than helping people." That's what you just said. Are you just talking about people with legal problems?

Avery: Are you saying that I should do a cooking show instead of working for the Innocence Foundation?

Dylan: Not instead of. I'm saying do both.

Avery: Both?

Dylan: Mm-hmm.

Avery: Dylan, I am one person. The scheduling alone makes that impossible.

Dylan: [Chuckles] Come on. You're an attorney. I'm sure you've negotiated your way through a scheduling conflict before. When does the producer in New York want you back to shoot the test?

Avery: He wants to come here.

Dylan: Here? Genoa City?

Avery: Here, my apartment.

Dylan: [Laughs] This is getting more perfect by the minute! Are you kidding me? You get to leave your job at the Innocence Foundation, you get to come home and do what you normally do to unwind -- get in the kitchen and cook. The only difference is, you're gonna have a production crew here filming it.

Avery: [Sighs] Well, you're gonna have to fix my oven.

Dylan: Well, I'll just bring my tools tomorrow.

Avery: All right. I'll send him an e-mail, and I will tell him I'll do it, pending my availability. And I'm telling you, if this is a complete disaster, it's on you, McAvoy.

Dylan: Yeah. And what if it's a huge success?

Avery: I will send this e-mail later.

Dylan: Yeah.

Avery: [Chuckles]

Courtney: So, have you guys set a date?

Abby: Oh, we've been so busy trying to find a place of our own, we haven't even thought about our wedding day.

Tyler: Yeah, but we found a couple really nice houses that Abby doesn't completely hate, so I hate to say it. You might have to start looking for a new roommate.

Noah: Oh, yeah, that's surprising. Like I haven't been thinking about that the last few weeks.

Abby: [Laughs]

Courtney: Hold on. Wait. You're seriously moving out of that gorgeous house on Cottage Grove Road, though?

Abby: Yeah, we want to find a place that's our own.

Tyler: Yeah, plus Aunt Traci still lives there, you know, and what newlyweds want to settle in with a chaperone?

Noah: Couldn't you ask her to leave?

Abby: I could, but I will not. She is my aunt.

Noah: You're my aunt. That mean if you were living at my place, I couldn't just kick you out?

Abby: Absolutely. And Aunt Traci isn't the only reason why we're moving out of that house.

Tyler: The house? Let's just actually call it what it is. The place is a mansion.

Abby: I could, but I will not. Tyler thinks the house is too big. He has this weird hang-up about living within his means.

Tyler: Okay, well, on the bright side, I've got a surprise for you.

Abby: Oh, am I gonna like it?

Tyler: God, I hope so.

Abby: [Laughs]

Tyler: We'll catch you guys later.

Noah: God, I thought they'd never leave. Good luck, buddy.

Courtney: Have fun, you two.

Abby: Bye.

Noah: [Clears throat]

Courtney: What's that?

Noah: That is the key to my apartment. Or our apartment if you say yes and move in with me.

Courtney: You want us to live together?

Noah: Like I said, I've been thinking about it a lot. And yes, I would. Very much.

Jack: Victor, I don't begin to know what you're going through.

Victor: No, you don't, Jack.

Jack: It's not just the pain of knowing beyond all doubt that your son is dead. It's the agonizing guilt of knowing that had it not been for you, he might still be alive.

Victor: Let me ask you something. In the countless hours you have obsessed about my role in this tragedy, have you ever asked yourself the question what you would have done had you been in my position?

Jack: I wouldn't have blackmailed my own son to gain access to my grandson.

Victor: I didn't ask what you wouldn't have done. You said you were close to Adam, right?

Jack: He felt like a son to me, too.

Victor: Uh-huh.

Jack: And in those last weeks, I knew something was eating him alive. He wouldn't talk about it.

Victor: And did you get to the bottom of what was eating him alive? I did.

Jack: I guess you were more desperate than I for leverage.

Victor: In other words, you weren't compassionate enough about your "son" to find out what was eating him alive. Is that it? For that matter, Jack, let's assume that you were in my shoes and you had found irrefutable proof that one night your "son," Adam, had accidentally killed young Delia. Would you then have called the police to tell them what had happened knowing full well that you would have ruined not only Adam's life but Chelsea's life and the life of the newborn baby? Would you have done that? You think about that. But not on my time. I'm busy, so kindly...

Chelsea: I need to break a promise to you. But I need you to know that when I made this promise, I truly believed in my heart that it would come true. [Smooches] [Sighs] I promised you that Daddy would be coming back to us. But I was wrong. He won't be. And not because he doesn't want to. Because he can't. [Sighs] And I can't tell you how much it makes my heart hurt to think that you'll grow up with no memory of him.

[Connor coos]

Chelsea: But I will make sure that every single day you know how much he loved you, and I will make sure you know every single day that without even [Sniffles] Trying, you brought your daddy more joy than he had ever known. [Sniffles] It's just you and me now, sweet boy. And I know -- I know that I can never take your daddy's place. No one can. But you have my word, there is nothing I won't do for you. Nothing. [Sniffles] Nothing. I promise. [Sniffles] I promise. [Sniffles] [Sighs] [Sniffles] Another minute.

Abby: All right. I can't take the suspense another minute. What do you want to show me?

Tyler: Hold on. There it is right up there.

Abby: The star you named for me. Do you know that I look at that star every single night and I smile?

Tyler: You know, I remember telling you that, um, it was the only thing I could think of that you didn't already have. But I was wrong.

Abby: What are you doing?

Tyler: Proposing. Properly this time. Abby Newman, will you marry me?

Abby: You got me a ring.

Tyler: You like it?

Abby: Tyler, it is the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. [Sighs] Yes. [Laughs] Yes, I will absolutely marry you. I love it. [Laughs]

[Door opens]

Victoria: [Sobs]

Next on "The Young and the Restless"..

Chelsea: Sharon, I have news.

Paul: Anything you say in here right now is completely off the record.

Lauren: We're pregnant.

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