Y&R Transcript Tuesday 8/7/12

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Episode # 9965 ~ "Restless Style" TV Debuts; Abby & Sharon Argue

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Emma

Lily: It was just too cute, right? Having those kids over for dinner last night.

Neil: Yeah, it was great having those kids over for dinner last night. Really, really great.

Lily: I know. The twins had so much fun helping give Moses a bath.

Neil: (Laughs) The bath. Those little kids surrounded by bubbles in that tub. It was just too cute, right?

Lily: And Moses has the most adorable belly laugh. It's so cute. (Laughs) What's wrong?

Neil: Just that Moses, you know, he's growing up so fast. I don't know. It's getting tougher to say good-bye when I drop him off at his mom's. I...

Lily: Well, you know, he's only a few blocks away. I mean, if Sofia moved to New York, then...

Neil: Unfortunately, my--my happiness came at Sofia's expense. Harmony made me realize just what that cost.

Lily: Wait, so-- I didn't know that she was back from visiting Ana. How are things going with you two?

Neil: Wish I knew, Baby Girl. Wish I knew.

Abby: (Sighs)

Harmony: Oh, my goodness, look at you.

Abby: Oh, please do. (Giggles)

Harmony: That dress is gonna pop on camera. You excited?

Abby: I am so excited. Are you?

Harmony: Well, actually, the--the idea of me being on TV kind of makes me want to puke.

Abby: Oh... (Laughs) Well, that totally goes away once the camera's on. Trust me, I'm an old pro. Is Chloe around?

Harmony: Uh, yeah, she's, uh, over there with George.

Abby: Okay, well, I better check in, but if the camera does catch you, don't freak out. Just flip your hair and strike a pose. It's what all the celebs do on the red carpet.

Harmony: Uh, okay, I'll remember that, thanks.

Abby: (Chuckles) Oh.

Chloe: So Tagngrab is going to launch on Friday.

George: That sounds really interesting.

Chloe: Oh, it is. I think you're gonna love it.

George: Oh, totally.

Chloe: So I, you know, if you could just plug it on your show, that would be great.

George: Oh, yeah, sure, sure.

Abby: George, hey!

George: Hey, Abbs! Hey! So good to see you.

Abby: Chloe!

Chloe: Yeah, no air kisses for me, thank you.

Abby: Have you seen Billy? Shouldn't he be here by now?

Billy: Rafe, you have got to get this judge to lift the gag order. I'm running out of time, man. The show premieres today. I-if I can't report that Phyllis Newman is under investigation for attempted murder, then... (Chuckles) What the hell am I gonna do? People are gonna think I don't have the guts to go after the big stories.

Victoria: So what are you doing now? Are you looking for another way to screw my family into the ground?

Billy: N... (Sighs)

Kevin: All right. Well, thanks for your input.

Adam: Yes, very good work. Keep it up. Thank you.

Kevin: (Laughs) It's all coming together.

Adam: Everything's scheduled for launch to be Friday.

Kevin: Uh-huh.

Gloria: Time for a toast! Free mimosas. (Laughs)

Jeff: (Laughs) Honey Bunny, don't you want to wait and see how this thing's gonna fly before you start offering free drinks?

Adam: You can go ahead and line up the drinks, Gloria. This is a venture that can't lose.

Jeff: Ah, Buggabear, perfect timing. We were just gonna open a bottle to celebrate your hubby's burgeoning bank account, uh... (Laughs) Business.

Chelsea: Well, don't pop that cork just yet.

Adam: Oh, no, no, no, no. Come on.

Kevin: What? What does it say?

Adam: There's a web site very similar to ours. It's launching tomorrow.

Kevin: What?

[Phyllis remembering]

Phyllis: It was me. I was driving the car that hit Paul and Christine.

Tim: But you better come through for me, or I press "Play" and your life goes boom.

(Door opens)

Phyllis: Hey. Do you want some coffee? It's really good. I made it.

Nick: How about the truth?

Phyllis: Okay, it's bad. I can't tell a lie. You know, but in my defense, I didn't own a coffeehouse.

Nick: Okay, enough.

Phyllis: Just, you know.

Nick: Just--I-I want you to tell me where you went after you left my mother's wedding.

Adam: "Buzz in the cyber world is this is the ultimate user-friendly retail web site experience." Perfect.

Gloria: Well, that doesn't sound so bad. There are tons of web sites out there. What's one more, huh?

Jeff: (Sighs) Snookums, the one in the article is exactly like the one our kids are working on.

Gloria: Oh.

Adam: We should have had the graphic designer locked in a lot sooner. We couldn't agree on one, and so I think we lost a lot of time.

Kevin: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I am not taking the heat for this, Adam. We did what we thought was best for the web site. Do not second-guess our decisions now.

Adam: This changes everything. We have to redesign our site. We're gonna have to push back the launch date.

Kevin: Or we get ours up and running today.

Chelsea: Is that even possible?

Adam: No, no, it's-- it was--a lot of stars would have to align. The graphic designer, he told us that he could have the site up and running by Friday, and that would be pushing it, so...

Kevin: Well, then we don't use him.

Adam: (Clears throat) Uh-huh. And who are you suggesting we use?

Kevin: Me.

Phyllis: Listen, I'm--I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I told you I was with Daniel when I wasn't. I apologize. Just, I was freaking out. And--and Jack stood up, and everybody was so happy, and I-I felt like the walls were closing in. I was just freaking out. I needed to get some air. That's all. I just--

Nick: Why couldn't you just tell me that?

Phyllis: I'm not gonna make you hold my hand every time I'm freaking out, you know? I'm not gonna make you miss your mom's wedding because of it.

Nick: Well, I would have preferred that to being lied to again.

Phyllis: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Nick: Look, you gotta tell me what you're feeling. You have to. Otherwise, what's the point in me hanging around?

Phyllis: What-- don't do that. Don't--don't insinuate you're gonna leave if I-- if--if I don't talk to you. You said you were gonna support me. That's what you told me.

Nick: Okay, okay, okay, I didn't--I didn't mean it like that, all right? I'm not going anywhere. You gotta believe me. (Sighs) But you need to tell me what you're thinking and feeling. You gotta let me in.

(Knock on door)

Phyllis: Come in. The door's open.

Avery: Hey, Guys.

Nick: Hi.

Avery: I brought snacks for the viewing party.

Phyllis: Oh. Party, really? I-I hardly call watching my dirty laundry aired on national television a party.

Avery: Okay, listen, I have the judge's clerk on speed dial. If Billy ignores that gag order, we will shut him down immediately.

Abby: Can you switch seats with me? I'm not really feeling this one.

Chloe: Uh, no, because this lighting is perfect, but you already know that.

Abby: Well, maybe we could switch mid-break.

Chloe: No. George, let's go pretend to talk about something fascinating...

George: (Laughs)

Chloe: So I don't have to talk to Abby anymore.

Devon: You need to cool off before you, uh, blow up there, Abby. (Chuckles)

Abby: She makes it so difficult to be nice to her. I don't even know why I try.

Chloe: I swear to God, we should just get rid of her, and that dress is so ugly. Uh, hell, no. Hey, excuse me, do we have security? Because someone needs to escort this guy out of here.

Abby: Excuse me, um, I cleared it with Billy. Carmine stays.

Chloe: Oh, I'm sorry, this juiced-up baboon is not sticking around here. He doesn't even have anything to do with "Restless Style." He goes.

Carmine: Chloe, we haven't had a chance to talk since Abby and I got back into town.

Chloe: Oh, right, because you were in jail and I didn't know and I didn't care when visiting hours were.

Abby: He's trying to apologize, if you would zip your over-glossed lips and listen.

Harmony: This is a mess. Where is Billy?

Chloe: Look at your dress. Are you serious?

Abby: (Scoffs)

Billy: Rafe, I have to go. Just call me the moment you hear anything. Thank you.

Victoria: (Sighs)

Billy: Okay, Honey, you've got about five minutes to let me have it before I have to get out of here. Okay, then I'll do it for both of us. You say that you're still pissed that I released that video of your father marrying Sharon, and I tell you that your father gave me permission. He wanted to be seen. I didn't go behind his back.

Victoria: No, you went behind my back. You made the choice to post that video before you mentioned the marriage to me.

Billy: Honey, "The Wedding March" was practically playing when I told you. You said not to say anything else.

Victoria: You are not getting off on a technicality, Billy. What you did was wrong, and yes, I am pissed at you!

Billy: Okay, well, that's fantastic. I mean, I'm not stressed out enough about having to go on live television. Now I've gotta do it with my wife still really pissed off at me. That's not gonna be distracting, not even a little bit. Look, I'm sorry. You know I don't like hurting you. I was just hoping for a little bit more support, that's--that's all. Uh, I've gotta go, I'm late.

Victoria: Billy, wait. Hold on. I don't like fighting with you, either. I guess my family is always gonna be a source of contention between us...

Billy: Hmm.

Victoria: But not today. I'm gonna let this one go... if you promise not to mention any of the recent drama on the air-- not my father's wedding, not my mother's wedding, not Sharon showing up at the reception, none of it.

Billy: Well, Honey, we did break the story. The network's gonna want us to comment on it.

Victoria: Billy, I have made a lot of concessions for you. I have overlooked a lot of things, so you owe me.

Billy: Okay, there'll be no Victor talk.

Phyllis: I thought I would be sitting in the makeup chair getting ready to be a part of "Restless Style TV," not sitting on my sofa getting ready to see if I'm the lead story.

Nick: I think you can rest easy. I don't think Billy's gonna risk the wrath of Avery Bailey Clark by breaking the gag order.

Avery: That's right, I've got my hammers of justice ready to pulverize him.

Nick: See? She's got pulverizing hammers. It's all good. Rest easy.

Avery: (Laughs)

Phyllis: (Chuckles) Doesn't, you know, the stuff usually hit the fan when people say that?

Avery: All right, listen, while we're waiting for the show to start, I think we should talk about your case.

Phyllis: I don't think we should.

Avery: I think we should, specifically Tim Reid.

Nick: What about him?

Avery: Well, his presence in town could--   

(Cell phone rings)

Avery: Hang on. Hello. You can't do that. Uh... y-yes, I'm gonna contest that. I'll be right there.

Phyllis: W-who--who was that?

Avery: That was Rafe. He's at the courthouse.

Phyllis: He wants to lift the gag order, right?

Avery: I am not gonna let that happen.

Phyllis: See? See what I said about it hitting the fan? See what I said? I was right.

Lily: So what's the holdup with Harmony? Have you asked her out on a date yet?

Neil: (Chuckles) Actually, uh, she asked me out to--to dinner.

Lily: What?

Neil: Mm-hmm.

Lily: Well, okay, obviously she's interested, so why haven't you gone out yet?

Neil: Well, because, uh, she went to see Ana, and I-I've been dealing with Sofia.

Lily: Okay, Dad, well, she's back now, so...

Neil: Right, but last time we spoke, uh, it was right after Sofia and I had an argument. It wasn't exactly the most opportune time to set up a date.

Lily: So are you having doubts, or...

Neil: You know, truthfully, Harmony has had a lot of issues to get past before, you know, wanting to test the waters, I think, with me, but, um, I don't know. Just--I don't-- I don't want to push, that's all.

Lily: My gosh, Dad. Okay, listen, that's noble and all, okay? But get over it. (Laughs) Obviously, you're both interested, so just go for it.

Neil: Yeah, uh... it's funny, I-- who--who would have thunk that I would be sprung over, all people, Yolanda. Remember how messed up she was?

Lily: (Laughs) I know, but she's a different person now.

Neil: Yeah. Yeah, she--she really is. She's sober and happy, you know? She's trying 100% to be the mother that she never was to Devon and Ana. She's very warm and caring, especially when she calls me out on my stuff, you know, and-- I don't know, I-I just think she's a, you know, she's a special lady.

Lily: (Chuckles)

Neil: Wh--

Lily: (Laughs)

Neil: What, what? (Chuckles) What?

Harmony: Ohh, I hope like hell they don't put me on camera.

Devon: Why do you say that? You look beautiful.

Harmony: Oh, aren't you sweet?

Devon: It's the truth. You don't think I got all my good looks from Tucker, do you?

Harmony: (Laughs)

Devon: (Laughs)

Man: Okay, has anybody seen Billy?

George: Okay, you know what? Don't worry about it. I-if there's--if he doesn't show up, I can come in, police the situation, so to speak. We're fine. It'll be great.

Abby: What an awesome offer, George, thank you. But, you know, being the biggest household name here, I think that I should be the face of "Restless Style TV."

Chloe: Right, okay, if you want, uh, everyone to be naked by your first commercial break, then that's a good way to go, but I think that you should just stick with George. Yeah.

Abby: (Sighs loudly) Why do you have to be such a... a "B"?

Chloe: Uh, because you are dating the guy that tried to kidnap me.

Carmine: Come on, you two.

Abby: (Sighs)

George: Ladies, ladies, ladies, let's save the catfight for the show, okay? This is great television.

Chloe: (Groans)

George: Come on.

(Microphone feedback whines)

Harmony: Ooh!

Chloe: Oh, my God.

Billy: Okay, come on, people, I thought we had a show to shoot. What's going on?

Chloe: Oh, thank you.

Billy: Yes, yes, yes, now go, go. Let's go, come on. Wow.

Jeff: Wow, kid's good, huh?

Gloria: The kid is a genius.

Kevin: Uh, the kid was just answering an e-mail. I'm not working on the web site.

Gloria: Hmm. (Laughs)

Kevin: Will you grab me some of those, uh, parmesan cheese fries?

Gloria: Of course. You're gonna need your fortification for the long day ahead. Come on, Jeffrey, give the man some room.

Kevin: Oh, uh, extra spicy ketchup, please, thank you.

Gloria: Done.

Adam: Okay. Good, then we'll talk more about it later. Great. Okay, Fenmore's is a go for a launch today.

Kevin: Oh, that's great news. We should send Lauren a thank-you.

Adam: Yeah, I'm gonna call Jason Moore, see if we can get him on board, too.

Kevin: Okay, look, Adam, I appreciate the updates, but--

Adam: Okay, you do you, I'll do me, we'll get this thing up and running in no time.

Kevin: Yeah, we will.

Jeff: Sweet Pea. You need anything? Beverage, appetizer, lunch?

Chelsea: All three, if you're paying.

Jeff: Ha ha. Oh, well, sure, um, water, tomato bruschetta, and a light salad coming right up.

Chelsea: No, you know what? Let's make it a cup of that really expensive imported coffee, um, those lobster thingies, and a really fat, juicy steak.

Jeff: Uh... whatever you want, Peaches.

Chelsea: I just have to run to my car to get my phone, and then I'll be ready to chow down.

Jeff: Ah. Great.

Chelsea: Mind if I join you?

Victoria: Sure.

Chelsea: (Chuckles) That's a--that's a cute outfit John has on.

Victoria: Thanks. It was a-a gift from Grandma Nikki.

Chelsea: Look, I haven't really thought this through and Adam would freak if he knew that I was discussing this with you, but I'm going to tell you anyway. He and I are thinking about starting a family. Uh, we're not sending out any announcements or anything, but I just thought, if you knew that, it would... I don't know, give you some sort of peace or something.

Victoria: Because?

Chelsea: Because I'm going to have a kid of my own, which means I won't be coming after yours, not that I ever, ever intended to. Victoria, John is your son, and although I will never, ever forget him, I know in my heart that he belongs with you and your family.

Victoria: Chelsea, um... I wasn't expecting to hear that.

Chelsea: Yeah. Well, I just thought that maybe we needed a little reboot.

Victoria: Yeah. Actually, it would be really good for my blood pressure if we didn't get all high-strung when we saw each other.

Chelsea: Yeah, no kidding. So... olive branch extended.

Victoria: And accepted.

Neil: Here you go, Babe.

Lily: Thank you.

Neil: Sure.

Lily: So if you want help planning the perfect date, I'm available.

Neil: Hey... (Laughs)

Lily: (Laughs)

Neil: I haven't been out of the game that long, come on.

Lily: Oh, okay, sure you haven't.

Neil: Mm-hmm.

(Cell phone rings)

Lily: Mm. Hey, Devon, what's up?

Devon: Hey, where are you?

Lily: I'm at Crimson Lights with crazy old man daddy.

Neil: (Chuckles)

Lily: You want to join?

Devon: Can't, I'm at, uh, "Restless Style." The show's gonna start soon and I want to hang here.

Lily: Oh, that's right, the "Restless Style" TV show debuts today.

Devon: Yeah, you guys should get to a television if you can. You might catch a glimpse of my mom.

Lily: Okay, we will. I'll talk to you later.

Neil: What, what, what?

Lily: Okay, we gotta go inside and watch TV. Devon says we might catch your new squeeze on the tube.

Neil: My new--what? Are you--did--you did not just say that, little girl.

Lily: Come on.

Man: All right, talking points are on the blue cards.

Billy: All right. Oh, Guys, sorry, the Phyllis storyline is still a no-go.

Abby: But that's a huge story.

Billy: Yeah, well, the gag order is still in effect. There's nothing I can do.

Abby: (Exhales slowly)

Chloe: Okay, well, at least we still have the great Victor Newman to publicly flay.

Billy: Not exactly.

Chloe: Are you kidding?

Billy: I love this job, but I love my wife more, so if she doesn't want us to talk about her dad, then we're not gonna talk about her dad, okay?

Chloe: Okay, so then what are you having us talk about, Billy?

Abby: (Scoffs)

Chloe: Oh, a reality star's luaus for her kids?

Billy: We've got really great footage.

Abby: (Scoffs)

Man: Five, four, three...

Billy: Hi, I'm Billy Abbott. Welcome to "Restless Style TV" live, where anything can happen, but we hope it doesn't... or do we? We might. (Chuckles) On this show, we will give you the inside scoop of how we put together an issue of "Restless Style," available on newsstands everywhere, and how we decide what content we put up on our web site. We'll also give you all the juicy celebrity gossip in a no-holds-barred way. It's gonna get gritty in here, because there's no news too scandalous for us to report. Allow me to introduce my intrepid team of gossipmongers. We have George Kotsiopoulos...

Gloria: That Billy is so handsome. You must be so proud of your husband.

Victoria: We'll see.

Jeff: You might want to invest in a Kevlar vest for him.

Gloria: Now why on earth would you say something like that?

Jeff: Well, it's one thing to write about people you see every day, but to go on national television and start talking trash...

Gloria: Chloe looks so beautiful.

Jeff: You might as well paint a big ol' target on his chest.

Kevin: I can't believe I'm missing this, and I can't believe the way you're all hovering.

Adam: Tell me about it. We can watch this thing online later, Kevin. We gotta save the company from being obsolete.

Kevin: Yeah, I know.

Chelsea: I can't imagine being on live TV.

Gloria: Mm.

Chelsea: I feel like I would just start cursing by accident.

Gloria: Well, if anybody can make it work, it's Billy. I think he could charm the pants off anybody. Ooh, sorry. Bad choice of words.

Billy: Okay, let's get into one of the biggest stories here in Genoa City, Paul Williams' murder trial. As many of our readers may or may not know, Paul Williams' son Ricky, the victim, was actually an employee here at "Restless Style."

Chloe: Yeah, for, like, a nanosecond.

Abby: He was a total creepazoid.

Chloe: Yeah, I'm surprised you didn't date him.

Billy: There were rumors that he was trouble, but nobody witnessed it firsthand. That's why his death was such a shock.

George: Right, his father shot him, right?

Chloe: Yeah, actually, he fell out of a window and died instantly.

Abby: It happened at the Genoa City Athletic Club.

Lily: Have you seen Harmony yet?

Neil: No.

George: Wait a second, that's where I'm staying!

Lily: Well, Devon said that she's a little camera-shy.

Billy: And it's still a fine establishment. It's also one of our sponsors.

Neil: There she is.

Abby: You could be staying in the very room where the shooting took place.

Chloe: Yeah.

George: All right, look, tell me more. Come on. I want to hear it.

Billy: Ricky was in his room, allegedly threatening another young woman, uh, Eden Baldwin.

George: The D.A.'s sister?

Billy: Yes, with a knife, but according to my sources, they haven't been able to locate the weapon, and Eden cannot recall the actual events of the night.

Abby: All those years on the ashram smelling incense fried her brain.

Billy: We'll be following this case to the end, bringing you all the latest developments. Check the web site daily for any breaking news. Moving on, what reality celebrity threw a luau for her kids? Chloe's gonna tell us.

Chloe: Right.

Phyllis: This is a snoozefest, completely. Are they really following a murder story with luaus? Really? You know, if it were me, I would have cut right to that, um, that case about the mob princess/missing bride that fell overboard.

Nick: I'm surprised they didn't lead with Dad's marriage to Sharon...

Phyllis: Well--

Nick: Since they broke the story.

Phyllis: Yeah, but I'm sure Victoria put the kibosh on that.

Nick: Since when does Billy play by the rules?

Abby: See, those kids were rockin' those leis.

Chloe: What's next, Billy?

George: (Gasps) I think it's time for our "Can't unsee that" segment. All right, which Hollywood starlet was spotted at the farmers' market wearing plaid overalls, a matching hat, pink hair, crazy boots, and eating a bag of cheese puffs? It's just so wrong.

Chloe: (Chuckles)

Abby: Talking about things that you can't unsee, there was a little video posted on the web site last night that made me want to poke my eyes out...

Billy: Abby--

Abby: My father Victor Newman marrying my ex-sister-in-law Sharon Newman. At least she doesn't have to update her driver's license. She already took his last name, like, three other times.

Victoria: (Sighs) Oh, no.

Billy: What the hell was that? I told you we weren't talking about Victor. Did you not hear me?

Abby: Hello, I just saved your butt and this show. We have to hook the audience. You're the one who posted the video of my dad marrying Sharon. It got, like, a gazillion hits. That's what people want to hear us talking about.

Billy: I promised your sister I wasn't gonna--

Abby: Well, I didn't. Victoria can huff and puff all she wants, but I am not letting her ruin my comeback.

Man: All right, here we go. And in five, four...

Abby: Who is ready to hear all the dirt on my dad and his quickie marriage?

Chloe: Here!

Abby: I thought so. Okay, so let's talk about my dad's bride and my new stepmommy, Sharon.

Victoria: (Exhales sharply) Unbelievable. He's just sitting there, letting her go on and on.

George: I, well, I have seen better.

Abby: Yeah, I totally...

Adam: Well, I'm feeling a bit overlooked. They haven't mentioned my name once.

Gloria: (Chuckles)

Abby: She probably didn't have time to find something decent to wear. Here's the best part of the story-- my dad ditched Sharon as soon as they got home. Can you believe that? And then Sharon crashes my uncle's wedding reception, looking for her newish husband, and ends up in the pool.

George and Chloe: Mm!

Chloe: And this is the very same Sharon Newman who was cofounder of this magazine.

Billy: Hey! Harmony, hi, come here, Harmony, I want you to meet all the viewers at home. This is Harmony Hamilton, a valued member of the "Restless Style" family. Say hi, Harmony.

Harmony: Hi. (Clears throat)

Billy: Can you do that, say hi?

Harmony: Hi.

Billy: Okay, let's see what Harmony handed me here, and it's breaking news, and yes, it is good.

Chloe: What's up, boss man?

Billy: There is one story we haven't touched, and it is a doozie. It involves another cofounder and the ex-editor in chief of this very magazine, Phyllis Newman, who was just charged with attempted murder. Nick Newman, Phyllis' ex-husband, now current husband, and--full disclosure-- my brother-in-law, paid me a little visit the other day to let me know just how he felt about me firing Phyllis after her criminal past caught up with her. Roll it.

Phyllis: Oh, God.

Billy: How about that, Folks? But don't worry, no TV hosts were harmed during Mr. Newman's outburst. Seems I'm getting a signal here, so we have to go, but tune in next time. I've got a big, big, big leak on the state vs. Phyllis Newman case that's gonna blow your minds. Keep stylin'.

Man: And we're out.

Abby: Whoo!

Billy: Whoo! Yep, yep, yep, yep.

Chloe: Oh, my God, oh, my God.

George: Okay, that was fun.

Chloe: You looked so good. Thank you. I look good, you look good, we all look good. Ahh.

Carmine: You are a big superstar.

Abby: Aw! It was exhilarating.

Carmine: Yeah.

Abby: (Laughs)

Devon: That was a great show, and you, Mom-- you were good. (Chuckles)

Harmony: I looked good?

Devon: Yeah, you did.

Harmony: (Laughs)

George: Hey, hey, Billy, Billy. Man, that was some tease. That was great. I can't wait to hear what you have on Phyllis.

Phyllis: Oh, my God, I can't believe this. I used to work with those people, every single one of them. They totally threw me under the bus.

(Knock on door)

Avery: Oh, your faces tell me everything. Billy opened his big mouth.

Phyllis: Oh, not only opened his mouth-- buried me, completely buried me and Nick.

Avery: (Exhales sharply) The video of you knocking him on his butt.

Nick: He said there was a leak in Phyllis' case, made it sound like it was pretty awful for us.

Avery: Freedom of the press trumped every argument I gave for keeping the gag order intact.

Phyllis: What do you have on me, Billy?

Neil: Yeah, w-we, uh, we actually saw you in the background, but when Billy introduced you, it was really, you know...

Harmony: Crazy! You know, I was trying to blend into the wall, and--and then his lawyer called and made me interrupt the show.

Neil: And a star was born.

Lily: Uh-oh, Tyra Banks better watch out.

Harmony: Yeah, yeah, right. No, it is just too much tension up in that office for me.

Devon: Well, they were all stressing about what they could and couldn't discuss, until you swooped in there all calm and cool, and gave 'em something to talk about.

Lily: Hey, let's go get some drinks.

Devon: All right.

Lily: (Mouthing words)

Neil: You, um... you know, when I-I-I saw you on the TV, I couldn't help thinking how far you've come. You know, you've turned your whole life around. It's incredible. You're incredible.

Harmony: And you got all that from my ten seconds of fame?

Neil: Um... (Laughs) If, uh... it's still on the table, the offer, you know, that you made for dinner...

Harmony: I thought you forgot.

Neil: No, I didn't forget. You free right now?

Harmony: What, you're-- you're asking me to go on a-- a date right now?

Neil: You in?

Chloe: (Giggles)

Kevin: Babe, you looked so beautiful.

Chloe: Thanks, Babe, except say more of that later, in private and dirtier.

Kevin: Mm.

Gloria: (Laughs) Oh, I just loved all the snappy banter between you and Abby.

Chloe: Oh, please. That poser? She was the worst part of the entire show. I mean, she's not even an employee of "Restless Style."

Jeff: Yeah, I mean, and what's the point of being called "The Naked Heiress" if you don't take your clothes off?

Gloria: Oh, shh.

Chloe: Uh, okay, enough of all the talk about the glitz and the glamour. I want to find out what's going on with the web site. I mean, you know, I mean, he filled me in while I was driving over. What's the latest?

Kevin: Well, we are just a few minutes away from being up and running.

Chelsea: Should we do the whole speeches and spectacle thing?

Adam: I love the way you think, Baby, but we-- we ain't got time. Kevin.

Kevin: Uh, yeah, okay. (Clears throat) Whoa. Okay, Tagngrab is officially open for business.

Gloria: Whoo-hoo!

Chelsea: Whoo!

Adam: Ahead of the competition. All right.

Gloria: Any hits yet? Ohh!

Kevin: Mom, it just went online a second ago, but I did send out an e-mail blast to all of our contacts, so hopefully, people will check it out.

Chelsea: Once word spreads, there'll be more traffic than this bandwidth can handle. (Chuckles) Whatever computer nerd lingo was appropriate for this moment.

Gloria: (Laughs)

Phyllis: All right, um...

Nick: Where are you off to?

Phyllis: I-I just--I gotta go out and--and get some air, take a walk.

Avery: Phyllis, I'm gonna get that gag order reinstated. Don't let Billy's blustering get to you.

Phyllis: Oh, of course not. Never happen. (Sighs) (Quietly) Hi, Tim. Uh, did you talk about the details of my confession with any egotistical television hosts lately? So you don't know what I'm talking about? Okay, let me tell you something. You keep your mouth shut. You keep your mouth totally shut, or don't expect any money from me.

Abby: Victoria, where is my cutie-patootie nephew?

Victoria: With the nanny.

Abby: Okay, before you get all red-faced and finger-pointy, I was the one who decided to spill the deets about Dad's marriage.

Victoria: Well, Abby, I'm not exactly thrilled, but you're an adult, and you can do what you want.

Abby: What, that's it? No lecture?

Victoria: No.

Abby: Okay. Carmine, we should get out of here. I've seen this look before. The stack is about to blow.

Carmine: (Sighs)

Billy: So... (Clears throat) Is she right? Are you about to go off?

Victoria: No. I mean, I was, but now I'm not. A lot of thoughts knocked around my brain on the way over here, one of which was threatening you with violence...

Billy: (Chuckles)

Victoria: But I really didn't want to ruin the state of euphoria that I felt after speaking with Chelsea earlier.

Billy: Astonished man says "Huh?"

Victoria: She told me that she and Adam are thinking of starting a family...

Billy: Oh, fantastic. That's all this town needs is the devil's spawn running around.

Victoria: And reassured me that Johnny was a part of our family.

Billy: Yeah? What con was she working?

Victoria: I think Chelsea was sincere, and we came to an understanding. We're not gonna get our hackles all prickly around each other anymore.

Billy: Okay, will this prickly hackles thing-- does that apply to me?

Victoria: It does.

Billy: Ohh, Baby.

Victoria: When I dropped Johnny off, I saw the end of the show.

Billy: Yeah, you didn't see the whole show, did you?

Victoria: No, no, I left after Abby started ranting about Dad.

Billy: Oh.

Victoria: "Oh"? "Oh" what?

Billy: Well, we, um... aired the video of Nick socking me. Yeah.

Victoria: Eh, you had prior permission for that one.

Billy: Baby, you are aces.

Victoria: So... as the wife of the host, do I get any perks? Do my perks include, perhaps, getting the inside scoop?

Billy: They do, that is right.

Victoria: All right, so what is this bombshell that you have about Phyllis' case?

Billy: Oh, well...

Victoria: "Oh"?

Billy: I don't have one. (Clears throat)

Victoria: But you said that--

Billy: Yeah, I-I know, it just kind of flew out of my mouth before my brain could shut myself down. I didn't think we had anything big enough to get more viewers to tune back in, so I fibbed just a little bit.

Victoria: A little? What are you gonna do?

Billy: Well, um, I've got a whole week to find something major on Phyllis. Otherwise, I get to go back on national TV, admit that I lied, eat my words, and look like a royal jackass. (Chuckles)

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Sharon: I crashed Nikki and Jack's wedding.

Tucker: What else did you do?

Jack: I am in charge now, Cane. There are gonna be some changes around here.

Billy: I'm not gonna go after your dad or your brother.

Victoria: How far will you go to make that show a success?

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