Y&R Transcript Monday 3/26/12

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Episode # 9870 ~ Jess Takes Action to Stop Gloria's Wedding

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Emma

Victoria: Okay, so what is this fashion emergency that was so dire that I had to come straight from the airport?

Chloe: A wedding... (Sighs) Gloria's.

Victoria: Gloria's.

Chloe: Spur-of-the-moment but I'm guessing that Kevin's gonna be there.

Victoria: Oh, um... uncomfortable.

Chloe: Well, I-it would have been fine, seriously. Delia and I ran into him today and we spent some time together, and it was good, you know? I--we had ice cream with each other and he's so sweet with Delia, and I thought, you know, I can do this. We can be friends. You know, that's what I miss most-- my friend, but then he had to pick a fight with me and remind me of what a dipstick he can be.

Angelina: Probably doesn't make you very happy that we're still gonna be related, even after we get divorced but stepsibs are better than husband and wife, right? (Sighs) Look, Kevin, um, Daddy's over being mad at you for wanting out of the marriage, but blowing off his wedding... (Sighs) He'll take that as big disrespect. We don't even have to go together. You wouldn't even have to talk to me.

Kevin: Huh? I'm sorry. I have no problem talking to you.

Angelina: Kind of hard to tell.

Kevin: Look, I'm just a little preoccupied. I bumped into Chloe tonight with Daniel and made an ass of myself.

Angelina: 'Cause you were jealous. Bet you that's exactly the reaction she was going for.

Kevin: No, it wasn't. She bit my head off, practically.

Angelina: Well, once you explain to her what happened, she's gonna--

Kevin: What difference does it make? Seriously, if I was only pretending to move on, why is she gonna care if she actually did move with my best friend? No, no, my former best friend. You know what? Maybe I'm better off.

Angelina: No!

Kevin: I mean it, seriously. If she was able to move on that quickly, how much did she care in the first place? Maybe you did me a favor.

Angelina: (Sighs) You don't really think that?

Kevin: Forget it. Let's just go.

Angelina: Ugh, like that? (Chuckles) Daddy's not gonna like that, and neither do I.

Kevin: Well, you and daddy are both gonna have to take what you can get, because I could wear a clown nose and a rainbow wig to this wedding. It wouldn't make it any more ridiculous than it already is.

Angelina: I'm coming.

Angelo: Things are gonna come together.

Gloria: Come on, Angelo, I don't even have a dress. What if Lauren can't find anything for me? And I forgot to tell her to bring me shoes, and how am I supposed to do my makeup? Look at these hands!

Angelo: (Laughs) Ohh, these are not problems. You look beautiful just the way you are.

Gloria: Ohh.

Angelo: But if it makes you feel any better, I'll bring in someone to do your makeup. I'll get someone to fetch you shoes. Hell, I'll buy you a whole new shoe store. Nothing is too extravagant for my bride.

Gloria: Ohh! (Laughs)

Jill: Bride?

Angelo: (Laughs)

Gloria: Yeah, that's right. We're getting married... tonight. (Laughs)

Jill: (Laughs) Wow, and here I didn't even know you were engaged.

Angelo: We weren't. Sort of like a carpe diem thing.

Gloria: Yeah.

Jill: Ah, impetuous youth.

Angelo: (Laughs) That's just the way Gloria makes me feel, like a kid again, and my best days are ahead of me.

Gloria: Ohh, now how can any gal resist a guy who talks like that?

Jill: Yeah! So tell me, is, uh, Jeffrey on the guest list?

Jeff: Gloria! Aah! Gloria, don't do it! Gloria, can you hear me? Don't marry Angelo! Gloria! Honey bunny... (Grunts)

("Good Goodbye" playing)

Devon: Hey, Mom. What do you think?

Tucker: Who knew he had this kind of talent?

Devon: Well, you would have known if you'd been paying attention when I worked for you.

Tucker: All right, don't rub it in. I'm already kicking myself I don't still have you under contract.

Harmony: (Chuckles) That girl has come a long way.

Devon: I agree. You know that she wrote most of these lyrics herself?

Harmony: Really?

Devon: Yes, she poured her heart and soul into 'em.

Harmony: Was it her idea to go country?

Devon: N--actually, that was Tucker's inspiration.

Harmony: Well, isn't that special? (Chuckles) So this is becoming a real group effort here. I mean, you're--you're even doing the mix.

Tucker: Oh, Devon just needed someone to be his ears. You just needed someone to be your ears.

Devon: No, no, you know what? My mom is right. This was a total collaboration. We did this all together.

(Knock on door)

Michael: Uh, Justice Clarice Collins?

Clarice: If I say yes, will you hand me a summons?

Michael: No, uh, I'm... here about a wedding.

Clarice: Oh, you want to get married.

Michael: I'm already married.

Clarice: Oh, we don't do that sort of thing here, Son.

Michael: What sort of thing? I don't-- oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. I-I-I'm not here to get married. Uh, uh, in act, I'm here about a-a ceremony you already performed, for, uh, a Kevin Fisher and an Angelina Veneziano, and... (Sighs) I could really use your help.

Clarice: Oh, well, in that case...

Victoria: Wow now that is an eat-your-heart-out dress. I love it.

Chloe: (Hums fanfare)

Victoria: You don't have to put yourself through this, you know?

Chloe: (Sighs) No, I told Gloria that I would be her matron of honor. There's no one else to fill in. If she had any real friends, she would not have asked her son's ex-fiancée.

Victoria: If she had any real friends, they would tell her to think twice about this wedding. Billy says Angelo is nothing but trouble.

Chloe: He definitely has a dark side, but you know what? You have to keep on reminding yourself of that when you're around him, because he's kind of adorable. He totally pampers Gloria.

Victoria: Hmm. She's loving that, I bet.

Chloe: Well, she did have her heart stomped on when Jeffrey left her.

Victoria: So, what, is this, like, a rebound thing with Angelo?

Chloe: Maybe. It's not my place to judge. I have been there. But how am I gonna deal with Kevin and his wife?

Victoria: (Inhales deeply) Okay, you are just going to maintain your dignity.

Chloe: (Laughs) Yeah, it's easier said than done, because when he's standing there being a butt-head, criticizing me for being insensitive when he left me, I'm sorry, I just--I lose it.

Victoria: Mm-hmm. Well, you're gonna be okay.

Chloe: (Sighs) Come with me.

Victoria: What?

Chloe: Yeah, moral support.

Victoria: No, look, I-I just got off a plane, Chloe. I haven't even been home to unpack.

Chloe: Right, you can borrow a dress. It'll be really quick. You owe me. I gave you my wedding.

Victoria: (Gasps) You are gonna hold this over my head for the rest of my life, aren't you?

Chloe: Mm-hmm.

Victoria: Can I wear that one?

Chloe: (Laughs) (Singsong voice) Bribery!

Victoria: I like it.

Chloe: (Giggles)

Gloria: Anyway, that's so-- oh, she's here, she's here, she's here! Okay, you--you--you, go away.

Lauren: Yeah, you have to go.

Gloria: It's bad luck for the groom to see the dress.

Lauren: It's true.

Angelo: Well, uh, I'll go, uh, make some honeymoon plans. How's that sound?

Lauren: Fabulous.

Gloria: Perfect, perfect.

Jill: Yeah, sounds great.

Lauren: Okay.

Gloria: Oh, I cannot wait to see. (Sighs)

Jill: Oh, please tell me you got a deposit in advance.

Lauren: (Chuckles)

Gloria: Uh, no.

Lauren: No? All right, well, I got you a few different options.

Gloria: Good! So dazzle me.

Lauren: So this one--yes, this one just came in. Oh, I think it's so simple and elegant--

Gloria: And so sweet and so--

Jill: Age-appropriate!

Gloria: Ha ha ha.

Jill: (Laughs)

Gloria: Oh, come on, Lauren, don't you have a little something that shows a little more, you know, leg? (Laughs)

Lauren: (Laughs) You know, I thought you were gonna say that, so I brought this suit with a very, very-- don't say it-- short skirt. It's very, very--

Gloria: A suit?!

Lauren: Yeah, I knew you were gonna say that.

Gloria: No, no, Lauren.

Lauren: It's fabulous.

Gloria: No, no, no! No, no, no, no! No suit. (Stomps foot) What's that one?

Lauren: Oh, no, no, no, that just caught my eye on the way out. It's for your honeymoon.

Gloria: Let's see it.

Lauren: No, really, it's not for the wedding.

Gloria: (With clenched teeth) Let's see it.

Lauren: Okay.

Gloria: (Gasps)

Jill: (Singsong voice) Oh, now you've done it.

Gloria: (Whispering) Yeah, that's it. (Normal voice) That's my dress.

Lauren: No, no, no, no, no.

Gloria: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

Lauren: This does not say "Bride." No, it doesn't.

Gloria: Aah! I am not your typical bride. I have fun, I take risks, and I like to have a good time, and that is what this dress says!

Lauren: Oh--

Jill: (Normal voice) Yeah, that's what the bathroom wall says, too, but you don't wear it down the aisle.

Lauren: (Chuckles)

Gloria: If you two old fuddy-duddies will excuse me, I'm gonna go try on my dress.

Jill and Lauren: It was a good one.

Jill: Yep.

Lauren: (Laughs)

Jill: Mm, mm, mm, mm.

Kevin: (Exhales quickly) Well, that's just great.

Angelina: What's the matter?

Kevin: Some idiot left the cash register open. (Slams drawer closed)

Angelina: They're lucky it's you that noticed, and not Daddy.

Kevin: Yeah, we'll see how lucky they feel when I'm done kicking their butt.

Daniel: Hey, um, I'm looking for Kevin. Is he around?

Angelina: Yeah, uh, but hold up a sec. I need to ask you something.

(Persistent knocking on door)

Michael: Hello? Justice Collins? Clarice? Clari--

Clarice: Do you plan to keep knocking all day?

Michael: If I have to.

Clarice: (Sighs) God, vultures, snakes, the whole lot of you. Like I've told the others, I'm not talking!

Michael: Wait a minute. Excuse me?

Clarice: You're a reporter, aren't you, here to pump me for information on Angelina?

Michael: No, no, no, I'm not a reporter. I'm a lawyer.

Clarice: Oh, my God, even worse.

Michael: No, no, no! All right, listen to me. I am Angelina's brother-in-law, and I'm just here to make a bad situation better.

Clarice: Oh, my God. Angelina and Kevin--they're not in trouble, are they?

Michael: Uh... in a manner of speaking, but you could make all of the difference in the world.

("Good Goodbye" playing)

Harmony: Gosh, that is nice. Nice!

Devon: Yeah?

Harmony: And he bumped up the guitar, he beefed up the guitar, just to give it a little oomph.

Devon: Oh, good, good. Tucker?

Tucker: Uh-huh.

Devon: You know the part with the new chorus, where you said Angelina was really into it?

Tucker: Yeah.

Devon: What do you think about putting in just some-- some, uh, background harmony, something really basic, you know, and letting the lyrics stand on their own?

Harmony: (Laughs)

Tucker: You mean, like a-a Keith Urban kind of vibe?

Devon: Yes, yes, exactly.

Harmony: Ahh.

Tucker: Should try that, Man. It could be powerful.

Neil: Hey.

Sofia: Hey.

Neil: Hey, what's happening?

Devon: Hey, Guys.

Neil: Hey, are we still on?

Harmony: Hey! Hey, you know what?

Devon: Hi.

Neil: Right on, Man.

Harmony: Hi, hi. Listen, listen. Wait-- wait till--wait until you hear what your son has done. It's gonna blow your mind, I swear. I swear!

Neil: Oh, okay. Yeah?

Devon: Are we-- are you listening?

Neil: That's-- that's beautiful, Man.

Devon: Oh, thanks.

Neil: You're really doing it. You're making it happen. You know that.

Harmony: (Chuckles) He's gonna be the next Max Martin or Dr. Luke, I'm telling you! And I'm gonna be wanting some autographs.

Neil: Yeah.

Devon: Okay. (Chuckles)

Neil: (Laughs) Right.

Angelina: Over there?

Angelo: Need a refill?

Jill: Mm. Thank you. Oh, and congratulations, if I didn't say so before.

Angelo: Yeah. We caught you by surprise.

Jill: Yeah. How did Jeffrey take the news?

Angelo: Does it matter?

Jill: No, no, I'm just curious. I mean, he doesn't remember being married to Gloria, but they had a very strong connection.

Angelo: Well, not after tonight. Gloria is mine now, and there's nothing that bum can do about it.

Jeff: (Grunting) Damn it. (Grunts) Oh, come on. (Groaning) (Breathing heavily)

Lauren: Okay.

Gloria: Well?

Lauren: (Sighs)

Gloria: (Laughs)

Lauren: It was made for you.

Gloria: Ohh, I think so, too. Oh, and I can't thank you enough. So what do we do with my hair?

Lauren: Uh, okay, Gloria, can we just put everything on pause for a second? Are you sure you want to rush into this wedding?

Gloria: Who's rushing? I've known Angelo for a long time.

Lauren: And how long have you loved him? Do you love him?

Gloria: What's love done for me lately, Lauren?

Lauren: (Sighs)

Gloria: Thanks to Jeffrey, I don't exactly trust it anymore. No, this time, I'm going for a man who respects me, who will take care of me... smart choice.

Lauren: But are you gonna be happy?

Gloria: I will be taken care of, I will be safe, I will be protected, and, yes, that makes me very happy. Don't you dare feel sorry for me. This is what I want. I'm very grateful that Angelo is in my life.

Lauren: (Sighs) I love you, and I want the best for you.

Gloria: That's Angelo.

Lauren: Then I hope it works out exactly... the way you want it.

Angelina: But I confessed everything to Daddy, and now we have his blessing to get divorced.

Daniel: Oh, now-- that--that's good. You could have done that when you first got back.

Angelina: I know. I should have. You don't have to look at me like that. I already feel like slime.

Daniel: You practically kidnapped Kevin. You blackmailed him. You terrified him. I mean, is that what you think that love is?

Angelina: Not anymore.

Daniel: (Scoffs) I knew--I knew that there was more to it than that. He wouldn't just bail on Chloe and Delia. I knew it in my gut, and I should have dragged it out of him.

Angelina: You couldn't have. He was way too worried about what might happen to Chloe.

Daniel: (Scoffs) Yeah. I mean, she's been sitting around thinking that he doesn't give a damn about her this whole time. She's been miserable. She's been heartbroken. She still is.

Angelina: Is she really? No, no, I-I mean, Kevin thinks that she's totally over him.

Daniel: Well, she's totally not.

Angelina: Thank God. Then we can still make things right and put everything back the way it was before Kevin even ever laid eyes on me. (Scoffs) He still loves Chloe, now more than ever. Well, right at this moment, he's a little P.O.'d at her.

Daniel: Eh, she feels the same way about him.

Angelina: (Chuckles) Well, we can fix that. I have a plan. No, no, no, no, no, no. This time, it's a really good one, trust me.

Kevin: Count it up, now, and it better all still be there. (Sighs)

Lauren: Kev?

Kevin: Hey.

Lauren: You've got--ooh.

Kevin: I got it.

Lauren: Do you mind? Oh.

Kevin: Here, here.

Lauren: Thanks. You okay?

Kevin: Yeah, I'm fine. (Sighs) I don't-- I don't want to talk about it.

Lauren: You know, Gloria's gonna be a while getting ready, so if you'd like to take a walk and blow off steam, you have time.

Kevin: That's a good idea. Maybe I should.

Lauren: Yeah. All right, I'll be right back. I'm just gonna put this in coat check.

Kevin: Okay.

("Good Goodbye" playing)

Harmony: You nailed that, Boo. (Laughs)

Neil: Yeah, you did. You know, it seems unfair that you're the only one who hasn't heard it yet.

Devon: Oh, I have a pretty good idea of what it sounds like.

Tucker: Oh, yeah. Devon heard it in his head first. He described to me what he wanted, and I've just been trying to re-create that for him.

Harmony: Yeah, well, you better hope what you've done here lives up to Devon's imagination.

Devon: You know, I'm not too worried. I think the man knows what he's doing.

Harmony: Uh-huh. Well, what about when you get your hearing back and he plays you the song and you don't like it?

Sofia: Well, that wouldn't be the first time. (Laughs)

Tucker: Sof.

Neil: Come on, are you-- you telling me that somebody dared challenge the expertise of Mick McCall, living legend? (Laughs)

Sofia: Uh, yeah, a very big somebody, too.

Tucker: What are you doing?

Sofia: Ooh, Tucker.

Harmony: Wait--wait a minute. Hush, hush now. Uh, th-this is getting good.

Neil: Right.

Sofia: Okay. Now it was way before my time, but the way my dad told it, Tucker was working with this big celeb for the first time, right? And he wanted to show off what he could do, so he made changes to the song secretly, and just sprung it on the guy.

Neil: Ooh.

Devon: Oh, uh-oh. (Laughs)

Sofia: (Laughs)

Neil: Right.

Sofia: I know. It almost ended his career.

Neil: Wow.

Tucker: That's enough.

Sofia: Tucker, what?

Tucker: Certain stories are not for public consumption.

Sofia: Public? What are you talking about? I was just telling a funny story. We're talking to family.

Tucker: Well, you can stop talking right now.

[Jeff remembering]

Jeff: To have and to hold, in sickness or in health, as long as we both shall live.

Gloria: Or the money runs out.

Jeff: (Laughs) Oh, you're good.

Gloria: Well, when I'm bad, I'm better. (Laughing)

Jeff: (Laughing) Oh, jeez.

Jeff: God, Angelo, you pig! (Groans) Come on, man. Angelo!

Kevin: What, girls' night out? Don't you think you'd be happier, you know, somewhere else?

Chloe: No doubt, but your mother asked me to be in the wedding.

Kevin: You're not serious.

Chloe: No, matron of honor.

Kevin: Well, that's just-- that's just great.

Chloe: You don't have to deal with me. Believe me, you are the last person I want to talk to right now.

Kevin: Good. Excuse me, then.

Chloe: (Sighs) Uhh! What did I ever see in him?

Victoria: Come on. Let's find Gloria.

Angelina: I thought we could wait till after Daddy's wedding, but we gotta move now, before Kevin makes her so mad, she'll never take him back.

Daniel: Let's just hope it's not too little, too late.

Angelina: Don't say that. (Exhales sharply) What Angelina wants, Angelina gets... and I want my Kevvie to be happy.

Daniel: You sure you're ready to do this?

Angelina: (Sighs) I am. Are you?

Daniel: Yeah. Yeah, I'm probably taking my life in my hands, but...

Angelina: Let's do this. Oh. Oh. (Laughs) All right.

Chloe: Well, trust you to turn tradition upside down and give it a spanking.

Victoria: You really are the only one who could carry it off.

Chloe: Mm-hmm.

Gloria: Why, thank you. I agree. Who knows? Maybe I'll start a new trend. Daniel!

Daniel: Hi, I heard you're getting married.

Gloria: Yes! And I hope you'll stay. We have to have you.

Daniel: Yeah, um, could I borrow her for a second? Could I borrow Chloe?

Gloria: Sure. One sec.

Chloe: Okay, what--what's up?

Gloria: (Humming)

Jill: Oh, you're back. That was a quick trip.

Victoria: Yeah, yeah, it was. Too quick.

Jill: So Billy didn't come back with you?

Victoria: No, he didn't, but for a very good reason. They're filming the "Restless Style" pilot.

Gloria: Now that's exciting!

Jill: Ahh.

Victoria: Yeah.

Jill: My son, the TV star.

Gloria: (Gasps)

Victoria: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Jill: (Chuckles)

Victoria: So I-- I-I assume you've heard.

Jill: Oh, about the wedding?

Gloria: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Jill: Yeah, good luck with that.

Gloria: Oh, you're not staying?

Jill: No, I am about to fall asleep on my feet. Jet lag. I was in Japan.

Victoria: Oh, okay.

Gloria: Mm, well, don't let keep you, Honey.

Jill: Yeah.

Gloria: (Gasps)

Angelo: Va-va-va-voom! Whoo-hoo! Look at you. You're, um, you're a vision.

Gloria: Yes, but you are not supposed to see me before the wedding.

Angelo: Oh.

Victoria: You're not superstitious, are you?

Gloria: Well...

Angelo: No, we are not.

Gloria: (Chuckles)

Angelo: We make our own luck.

Gloria: Yeah.

Angelina: (Gasps) There you are. I--Daddy wants to talk to us right away.

Kevin: What for?

Angelina: I don't know. He's waiting in the office.

Kevin: (Sighs) Just when you think your night can't get any worse.

Angelina: Well, um, let's use the side entrance. It's getting kind of crowded in there.

Kevin: Okay, go ahead.

Lauren: Oh, hi, Baby.

Michael: Oh, hey. Please tell me you were kidding about this wedding.

Lauren: Um...

Gloria: Mm.

Angelo: Oh, what a night.

Michael: Remind me to remind her of all those fabulous decisions she was so dead set on that ended in catastrophe.

Lauren: Yeah, that's not gonna help. It's not gonna help because she's already down about her past heartbreaks, and that is what's making Angelo so appealing right now.

Angelo: Ohh. (Laughs) All right. We're gonna get started in about two shakes. Uh, you guys over there, you might want to find a better spot to stand to really appreciate this view.

Gloria: Ohh. (Laughs)

Angelo: (Laughing)

Michael: I have a new stepdaddy. And I thought Jeffrey was bad.

Jeff: (Chanting) Om... om...om...om...

Jill: (Knocks on metal) Hello, is somebody in there?

Jeff: Yes, I'm here, I'm here. Help me, please, please!

Jill: Jeffrey?

Jeff: Oh, am I glad. You gotta get me out of here before Angelo sends somebody out here to finish me off. Come on.

Jill: (Scoffs)

Tucker: You don't want to get involved in this, Neil.

Neil: Because you're handling it so well on your own?

Tucker: I didn't say that. Obviously I lost my temper, and I shouldn't have.

Neil: Okay, Man, you know what to do. You just apologize to the lady and move on, right?

Tucker: That wouldn't resolve the underlying problem.

Neil: And what is the underlying problem?

Sofia: Yeah. I'd like to know that, too. What is your problem?

Tucker: All right, I'll tell you. I expect a certain level of discretion from my employees, especially those privy to the inner workings of my organization.

Sofia: I was just telling a funny story.

Tucker: Do I need to remind you, you signed a confidentiality agreement?

Sofia: Nobody in this room was surprised to hear you have a huge ego. It's not a big secret.

Tucker: Ohh. We're gonna wait until you calm down to discuss this further.

Sofia: Tucker, just because you've known me since I was a child does not mean you get to treat me like one! Excuse me.

Neil: Hey, Honey, wait.

Tucker: You just let us work this out, Neil.

Neil: Hey, so far, everything you've had to say is making it worse.

Chloe: (Sighs)

Daniel: Sit down.

Kevin: What the hell is this?

Angelina: I lied, again. (Chuckles) Uh, Daddy didn't ask to see you.

Daniel: And I don't need to talk to you, but you two need to talk to each other.

Chloe: Actually, no, I am not going to be insulted anymore.

Kevin: You thought it would be helpful to rub my face in this?

Chloe: You can forget it.

Kevin: No way.

Angelina: Kevin never loved me. He doesn't even like me very much.

Daniel: Yeah, and Chloe was never into me. All we ever do is we talk about you.

Angelina: Same for him.

Chloe: That's funny, because all he ever does is say how much he loves you.

Angelina: He did that to protect you. He didn't want Daddy blaming you for breaking up our "Happy home," which it never was. Kevin hasn't been happy one minute since I tricked him into skipping your wedding. So do us all a favor-- kiss and make up already!

Daniel: Mm-hmm.

Angelina: For the record, he never touched me, except when all he wanted was for you to see it.

Daniel: You know nothing happened between me and her, right? Never would have, Man. Best friends. (Clears throat)

Angelina: All right, uh, talk amongst yourselves. (Clears throat)

Daniel: (Whispers) After you.

Angelina: (Whispers) Thanks.

Chloe: (Groans)

Daniel: Go.

Angelo: Angie, why'd I buy you this phone if you're not gonna pick up when I call?

Gloria: I do not understand why Kevin left.

Lauren: He just went for a walk.

Gloria: Is he angry because I invited Chloe?

Lauren: You invited Chloe?

Gloria: Yes, I invited Chloe, but now she's gone, too.

Michael: (Sighs) There's no sign of him out front.

Victoria: There's nobody in the ladies' room.

Angelo: Oh, here's my baby girl. (Laughing)

Angelina: Sorry to hold things up.

Gloria: Do you know where Kevin is?

Angelina: He'll be here in just a minute.

Gloria: All right, thank you.

Victoria: Where's Chloe?

Daniel: Um, she's temporarily detained. She'll--

Michael: She's det-- okay, hold on. You know what? Let's crack open a bottle of champagne while we wait. It's my treat. All the kids are doing it.

Angelo: Unh, unh, unh, unh. We're not waiting. Unh-unh. No, we're getting married now.

Gloria: Without Kevin and without a matron of honor?

Angelo: You got two beautiful daughters-in-law that are ready and willing. Kevvie will not mind. Besides, between you and me, Padre's been knocking down those Moscow mules. We better get rolling before he passes out.

Gloria: Mm.

Victoria: Okay, so what's the deal with Kevin and Chloe?

Gloria: All right, so am I perfect?

Angelo: Yeah, you--

Gloria: Okay, come on. (Exhales slowly)

Minister: How lovely.

Gloria: Thank you.

Angelo: (Chuckles) Ready whenever you are, rev. Come on.

Minister: Dearly beloved, we are gathered to mourn the passing of-- (Laughs) Oh, I am so sorry. (Hiccups)

Angelo: Why don't you just start over? Come on, come on.

Jeff: Stop!

Minister: Dearly be--

Jeff: Stop the wedding. Take your hands off my woman.

Gloria: Aah! (Gasps) Jeffrey?

Jeff: Honey Bunny. (Exhales sharply)

Gloria: You!

Jeff: Oh, jeez! Man.

Devon: You know, Sofia and Tucker have had their blowups before. He fired her.

Harmony: Really?

Devon: Yeah.

Neil: Yeah, but that was something completely different. It was very major. Sofia was keeping secrets from him. I mean, this-- this was totally uncalled for.

Harmony: Yeah, well, he might see it as an issue of loyalty.

Devon: Hopefully, they're working it out right now.

Tucker: I think you were having a little too much fun with that argument.

Sofia: Ohh. (Laughs) This is not fun for me, Tucker. I don't like deceiving Neil.

Tucker: Well, we can call the whole charade off right now, if you're not comfortable.

Sofia: No. No, I'm sure he's gonna understand why we did what we did when this is all over.

Tucker: Yeah, okay. If we want the business community to believe we have irreconcilable differences, we have to-- we have to make the family believe it, too.

Sofia: All right, just hope you don't alienate Devon, lashing out at me.

Tucker: Just let me worry about Devon. Now let's get back in there, tell 'em you apologized, and it's all good.

Sofia: (Laughs) I apologized? Did you see all of that? They are not gonna believe that.

Tucker: All right, I apologized.

Sofia: There you go.

Gloria: What do you think you are doing? And why do you stink?!

Jeff: Well--

Jill: Jeffrey has had a rough night.

Jeff: Mm.

Angelo: Yeah, and it's just about to get rougher.

Michael: Oh, whoa, whoa. I think--I think we should hear what he has to say.

Jeff: I know why I left you. He forced me to. He made me write that letter where I told you I was gonna run off with all the money. Well, he's the one who took it.

Angelo: That's ridiculous. Don't listen to him.

Jeff: I tried to tip you off in the letter when I wrote "Farewell, my lovely." I mean, come on. I don't talk like that. I figured you'd know it was fake.

Gloria: Well, I did think it was a little strange at the time.

Angelina: Daddy...

Angelo: He's lying!

Jeff: How could you even think I tried to screw you over like that?

Gloria: Huh?!

Jeff: Well, maybe, you know, a little bi, sometimes, off the top... (Laughs) Around the edges, but nothing that big. I love you. Tell me you still love me.

Gloria: (Sighs)

Jeff: Or at least that you're not gonna marry this wise guy over here.

Angelo: (Growls)

Michael: No, no, Angelo. No, no! Daniel, Daniel!

Gloria: No, no!

Michael: No, Angelo, calm, calm, please.

Daniel: Its okay, it's okay.

Michael: Yeah, calm down. Calm down, just-- please, Angelo.

Chloe: Were you really trying to protect me?

Kevin: I would have stayed married to Angelina forever if I had to. What about that kiss between you and Daniel that I saw?

Chloe: I told you-- I had just found out about you and Angelina. I was hurt, and I was drunk.

Kevin: (Chuckles) You were?

Chloe: It didn't mean anything.

Kevin: Okay. Well, I guess that changes everything.

Chloe: Well, I guess it does.

Michael: Angelo, just calm down!

Angelo: (Growling)

Michael: Not now. Angelo, not--listen to me! Don't do this! Just relax.

Angelo: (Growling)

Daniel: Just calm down, calm down.

Michael: Think happy thoughts, Angelo, just think happy thoughts.

Daniel: Calm down. Shh!

Angelo: I'll kill him, spreading lies like that...

Michael: Daniel, hold him!

Angelo: Ruining my wedding!

Jeff: You gotta believe me.

Gloria: I don't know what to believe!

Jill: Oh, you're such a ninny.

Michael: Hold on. Stop it! It would help, maybe, if you knew that the only reason Kevin married Angelina and stayed with her was because Angelo was threatening him.

Gloria: What?

Angelo: It's not true!

Angelina: Yes, it is.

Angelo: Baby!

Angelina: I'm sorry, Daddy, but we gotta stop hurting people to get what we want.

Jeff: Yeah, you try getting dumped in a trash can and see how you like it.

Kevin: You guys, what is going on?

Victoria: Well, Angelina just admitted why you married her.

Angelina: And, uh, we're gonna get a quickie divorce.

Michael: Ohh. There's no need for that, courtesy of Justice Clarice Collins.

Angelina: (Gasps)

Michael: I've had your marriage annulled.

Chloe: Uh, let-- let me see those. Thanks.

Lauren: Nicely done, Babe.

Jeff: It looks like the biggest loser here is you, Fatso.

Gloria: (Gasps)

Kevin: Well, you know what this means, right?

Jeff: Yeah. It'd be a shame to let this go to waste. Will you marry me?

Kevin: Will you marry me?

Gloria: (Sighs) (Giggles)

Next on "The Young and the Restless” --

Jill: Here's my motto for the day--don't ask questions. Just let the good times roll.

Adam: I'm used to awkward run-ins. It's kind of my life in Genoa City. I'll just concentrate on present company.

Sharon: You're going to Japan?

Nick: We both are.

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