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Episode # 9543 ~ Cane & Colin Come Face to Face

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Emma

(Sniffles)

Lily: You look tired.

Cane: Yeah, I'm okay.

Lily: I know it's all those hours you've been putting in.

Cane: Yeah, well, uh, you know, I took off so much time, so I suppose it's only right I do the work now, huh?

Lily: No, I know. I just, you know, I feel bad that you've been so loaded down over Thanksgiving.

Cane: Hey. What's this?

Lily: What?

Cane: Look.

Lily: (Laughs)

Cane: Under the tree. There's a--there's a box. I wonder, uh, I wonder who this is for.

Lily: I wonder how it got there.

Cane: I don't know. Hmm...

Lily: Who's it for? Is it for... me? Yep. Can I open it?

Cane: Uh...

Lily: (Laughs)

Cane: I don't know. Have you, um, have you been a good girl?

Lily: Of course.

Cane: Mm?

Lily: You sly devil. What did you do?

Lily: Oh, my gosh. (Gasps) Cane, this is so beautiful. Thank you. I love it. (Chuckles)

Cane: I'm glad.

Lily: You know that you got me another one last year for our first Christmas together, remember?

Cane: Mm-hmm, I remember.

Lily: I have it somewhere. Where'd I put it? See? Remember that? (Laughs) Oh, my gosh, we have had the most incredible year. I feel so blessed.

Cane: You just wait and see. It's gonna get better.

Sofia: Ooh. (Chuckles)

Lily: Hey.

Cane: (Sighs) Hey. Hey.

Lily: Hi.

Sofia: You two are so sweet inviting me over to stay and decorate.

Lily: (Chuckles)

Sofia: But, uh, first, uh, Cane, um, while I was out, I got a call. Um, the background check is ready on our colleague from Australia. They're about to e-mail me the results.

Jill: Please join me.

Man: Thank you.

Blake: Yeah. Okay, good work. Well, it better be covered, or the boss is gonna deal with us personally, all right?

Jill: So... you're from out of town. How long are you in for?

Man: Mm... depends on how business goes. Why don't you tell me how long you've lived in Genoa City?

Jill: My whole life. You're an Aussie. I have a son who's Australian.

Man: Uh, how'd you do that? Have you ever been to Australia?

Jill: (Chuckles) That is a long story.

Man: Why don't I buy us both a drink?

Jill: Great. (Cell phone rings) Hi. Ooh, I see you. Hello? Speaking. Wait, what? Where? Child protective services? What's this-- about Cordelia? Okay. Wait, what complaint? She's with her mother. Has something happened? Okay, yeah, I'll-- I'll be right there. Uh, Chloe, you better answer your phone.

Chloe: Look, I demand to know who called you. What exactly am I supposed to have done?

Kevin: Let's keep our voices down. Whatever this is about, I don't want Delia hearing it.

Woman: The party who placed the complaint said that you were taking inappropriate photographs and traumatizing the child.

Kevin: What?

Chloe: Oh, my God, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

Woman: We take reports of child mistreatment very seriously.

Chloe: Well, I can assure you that there was no mistreatment going on, Ma'am.

Kevin: We were at a Christmas tree lot having our photo taken by a professional photographer. There was a million people around.

Chloe: Yeah, and so--so what? We--we were goofing around in front of the camera. I mean, is there really a crime in that?

Woman: Please, just bring the child back out here. I need to speak with her immediately.

Chloe: (Sighs) I just don't understand who would have done this.

Jana: Hello, Gloria.

Gloria: My, my. First the Christmas tree lot, and now here. So who are you stalking, Jana? Me or Kevin?

Jana: Look, if I have done something to offend you--

Gloria: Other than break my son's heart?

Jana: You know how sorry I am about that.

Gloria: Of course you are. And Kevin may be the forgiving kind. I'm not. Excuse me. Well, well, well, if it isn't one of my favorite men.

Hogan: Where?

Gloria: (Laughs) You know I'm talking about you.

Hogan: How are you, Beautiful?

Gloria: Careful, careful. Flattery will get you any place. Table for one?

Hogan: You take such good care of me.

Gloria: (Chuckles) This way.

Hogan: So how's business? Any problems while you were in Florida?

Gloria: Not one. The place practically runs itself these days.

Hogan: Great. Uh, you kids have fun?

Gloria: Oh, it was absolutely heaven. First class all the way. Jeffrey rented a condo right on the beach-- dancing every night.

Hogan: Jeff around, by any chance? I'd love to say hi.

Gloria: Oh, I'm sure he's around here someplace. Why don't you have a seat?

Hogan: Thank you.

Daisy: (Sighs) You'll really let me stay with you until the baby's born?

Daniel: Look, I'm not doing this for you, all right? Summer needs to be with her mom and away from you.

Daisy: Summer in her room?

Phyllis: Oh, my daughter's of no concern to you. (Sighs)

Daniel: Hey, listen, I'm gonna check with the courts about seeing if we can change these arrangements.

Phyllis: What--what-- what happened to, "Hey, this is my mom's deal. I'm out of it"?

Daniel: Maybe I'm done letting my problems ruin everybody else's life.

Phyllis: You're not doin' this. You are not moving her into your home. It's not happening. Forget about it right now.

Daisy: (Sighs)

Jill: Now where were we?

Man: You were telling me how Cane had come into your family, and you'd believed that he was your son.

Jill: Yes, yes. He pretended to be Phillip for two years. He had us all fooled, and we're not unsophisticated people.

Man: I can see that. So what did he tell you about himself?

Jill: That he'd been raised poor with no real family, except for an uncle who raised him in the outback. Um, I really don't think that Cane ever felt wanted in his entire life.

Man: What a sad story.

Jill: Yeah, it is. He's fiercely protective of his family now. I mean, Lily and the twins-- they're his whole life. I think a big part of that is the emotional depravation he suffered as a child.

Man: Lily's his wife?

Jill: Yeah. They're so in love. And the twins-- they're just little miracles.

Man: Tell me about Lily.

Jill: Lily? Lily's great. I'm very fond of her. She was devastated-- well, we were all devastated when we found out how deceptive Cane had been. I didn't really think that I'd be able to have any faith in him ever again.

Man: You're telling me you do now?

Jill: Oh, Colin. Now I couldn't love or trust that man more if he were my own flesh and blood.

Colin: Jill, you've got a big heart, and I really admire that. I just hope all this trust isn't misplaced.

Sofia: Ohh.

Lily: So since Humphrey’s mission in life is to eat everything he sees, then--

Sofia: Oh, tinsel is out.

Lily: Yes, out.

(Cell phone alert chimes)

Sofia: Oh, that must be the e-mail I've been waiting for.

(Ornament shatters)

Lily: Oh.

Cane: Uh, sorry.

Lily: No, that's okay. Listen, no Christmas is complete without an ornament breaking, so don't worry.

Cane: Listen, I-I'll clean it up. It's okay.

Lily: Okay. It's all right.

Sofia: Oh, this is it-- James Collier's background report.

Lily: Wait, James Collier? Who's that?

Sofia: Oh, that's Blake’s formal business name.

Cane: So, um, what's the report say?

Sofia: Everything checks out. Credit's great, no criminal background, credentials are bona fide.

Cane: (Sighs) Well, that's great. It means we can keep workin' with him, so...

Sofia: (Chuckles) That is great, 'cause I have a stack of reports in my attaché that need analysis by tomorrow.

Cane: Yeah, uh, hey, just give them to me. I'll run them over to him then for you.

Sofia: Great.

Lily: Wait. What about the tree?

Cane: I think this tree is in very capable hands. Uh, besides, I have a couple of, um, errands that I need to run.

Lily: Errands?

Cane: Errands, yeah.

Lily: Does it have anything to do with wrapping paper?

Cane: Mm.

Sofia: Honey, don't you know not to ask your man a whole lot of questions this time of year?

Lily: (Laughs) Okay. You're right. Well, you take all the time you need to run those errands.

Cane: Mm, errands. Thank you for being so understanding.

Lily: You're welcome.

Cane: Mm.

Daniel: You know, my little sister doesn't understand why she can't stay in her own room, or why she can't put up a Christmas tree with her mother.

Phyllis: All right, Summer and I will spend a lot of time together after this is over.

Daniel: Just not in her own home.

Phyllis: Uh, Daniel, it's only a few weeks until this baby's born, and then she's going back to prison.

Daisy: If I have any say in this--

Phyllis: Yeah, no, you don’t.

Daniel: You don't have--no. You don't have any say in this. This is my problem, my kid. I'll take care of it.

Daisy: (Sighs)

Phyllis: (Quietly) What are you doing? What are you doing? You're gonna take care of it? Like you took care of it before when she drugged you and got pregnant? Come on. Come on. You don't know what she wants from you.

Daniel: (Quietly) It doesn't matter what she wants from me. She's not gonna get it.

Phyllis: How do you know that? She's crazy. She's a master manipulator. I don't want her taking advantage of you again.

Daniel: Okay, so instead, you're just gonna let her take advantage of you.

Phyllis: Oh, come on. She's not gonna take advantage of me.

Daniel: She is. She is taking advantage of you right now.

Phyllis: No, she is not.

Daniel: She is living here, and Summer isn’t.

Phyllis: Daniel, no. Daniel, that's not true. She's not taking advantage of me. I'm trying to protect you.

Daniel: It is true. Look, I need to do this. Help me make this happen, all right? Call the judge and help me do this.

Phyllis: Shh. Shh.

Woman: Do you like having your picture taken, Delia? Yeah? (Chuckles) What about dressing up in costumes in front of people?

Chloe: Right? Do we do trick-or-treat?

Woman: (Gasps)

Chloe: (Chuckles)

Kevin: Okay, look--look-- look at this pictures. We're having a blast. She is giggling up a storm.

Chloe: Yeah. We had such a fun time, right "Boo-boo"?

Woman: We'll consider this a false alarm then.

Chloe: You know, I would really like to know who was so interested, they felt compelled to pick up the phone.

Woman: An anonymous caller, although even if I did know, I couldn't reveal any more information.

Kevin: Hey, you, what do you say we get back to that tea party, huh?

Chloe: Go with Uncle Kev.

Kevin: Aw, come on. Let's go.

Chloe: (Sighs)

Woman: I am always glad when a tip like this turns out to be nothing.

Chloe: Um, yeah, well, I understand that you were just doing your job.

Woman: I'll show myself out.

Chloe: Okay, thank you. Have a nice day.

Woman: Uh-huh.

Chloe: (Sighs)

Kevin: (Sighs) She took off?

Chloe: I swear, I was this-- I was this close to losing it.

Kevin: Who the hell would have done this, and--and why?

Chloe: I-I don't know. I don't know, but... (Sighs)

Kevin: What? What?

Chloe: Jana was there. I don't-- I-I saw her watching us. And, you know, she has a problem with our friendship. I know that.

Kevin: I'm gonna go talk to her.

(Knock on door)

Chloe: (Sighs)

Chloe: Hi, Billy.

Billy: What's going on with child services, and why are they calling about my daughter? Hmm?

Chloe: So that's it. That's the whole story. It was really not a big deal, and it was a big misunderstanding.

Billy: Yeah, wrong. People don't sic the authorities on innocent parents.

Kevin: What are you implying?

Billy: I'm not implying anything. I'm gonna go out and say it so you can understand. You are a lousy influence on my daughter.

Chloe: What? No--no, he is not, Billy.

Billy: Oh, come on. How often has "Kevie" here been involved in questionable activities with shady people?

Kevin: Oh, you-- you are the last person who should be saying that to me given your history.

Billy: Yeah, and-- and look at this. Hmm. So you guys, uh, playing house with my daughter? I mean, it's pretty obvious. Are you shacking up now? That's great. You gonna send out a Christmas card? Is that what's goin' on?

Chloe: Okay, first of all, Kevin and I are not sleeping with each other. And that family portrait, that was a joke, and you're an idiot if you can't see that.

Billy: Oh.

Kevin: Uh... (Clears throat) I'm gonna go follow up on that angle we talked about.

Lily: So have you and Malcolm set a date?

Sofia: No, not yet. (Chuckles) But we are just happy to be livin' in the same city together.

Lily: Yeah. I don't know how you guys stood to be apart. I remember when I thought that Cane was gonna be deported, it was... (Scoffs) Awful.

Sofia: (Chuckles) Well, Malcolm and I both have jobs I mean, we both travel a lot. You and Cane, you know, you wouldn't have been separated by choice.

Lily: Yeah, that's true. I don't know. I mean, I'm just--you know, I'm happy that it's all over, and that he's home with us and everything. I just wish, you know...

Sofia: What? Lily, wh-what were you about to say?

Lily: No, you know, listen. It's work. It's not my place, so it doesn't matter.

Sofia: Lily, I want you to feel free to speak your mind around me, okay?

Lily: No, I do. I--     

(Telephone rings)

Lily: Oh, hold on. Sorry. One second. Hello? Yes. You do? Okay, great. I will be right there. (Chuckles) Thanks. Bye. Um, okay, so great news. Trumble's just got in the new shipment of "Bumpy the Camel," the sequel, so I want to go and get it before they sell out-- sell out again.

Sofia: Do you want me to stay and sit with the twins?

Lily: Uh, no, no, it's fine. We have a neighbor that's down the street. Her daughter's trying to get her childcare badge... so she has dibs, but come with me, and we'll go shopping, we'll get some lunch...

Sofia: And we will continue with this conversation?

Lily: (Chuckles)

(Footsteps approach)

Blake: Surprised you're not celebrating.

Cane: Well, that's because, uh, whatever I did to, uh, reinforce the identity I created for you obviously worked.

Blake: Oh, come on. You're not dealing with amateurs here, Mate. You should know that.

Cane: Well, that's a relief, huh?

Blake: So the pressure's off now.

Cane: Good news.

Blake: But the bad news is, you're in a bar working. Back home, that's a hanging offense.

Cane: Well, since, uh, everything came back clean, Sofia’s decided to lump more work on you. Oh, I'm sorry, should I say lump more work on me? Since you wouldn't know the difference between a geothermal hot rock fracture system if it bit you in the butt.

Blake: (Sighs)

Cane: Right?

Blake: You better do a good job, then. Make me look real smart. 'Cause we don't want to jeopardize those fat checks going into James Collier's bank account now, do we?

Jill: Cane is one of the most honest, forthright, genuine people I have ever met.

Colin: You speak so highly of him.

Jill: I know what he did was wrong, okay? But his intentions were pure.

Colin: Why did Phillip go along with the deception?

Jill: Phillip was in hiding. He was ashamed. I think he felt guilty because he'd abandoned all of us, his family. And then all of a sudden, there was Cane, and Cane had always longed for a real family.

Colin: And...

Jill: I think they thought that they could help each other out and heal some old family wounds at the same time.

Colin: And you picked up an extra son in the bargain.

Jill: Yeah, I did. I did. Boy, the first time I ever set eyes on Cane, I felt this connection. I can't even describe it to you. I think that I just saw myself in him.

Colin: (Sighs) How do you mean?

Jill: Well, never having had a real family, and feeling so alone in the world, you know, and always searching for where you belong, it can affect your whole life.

Colin: Mm-hmm. I had a son once. I gave him everything I had. (Chuckles) And then I lost him. I'd do anything to get him back.

Gloria: There is someone very anxious to talk to you.

Jeff: Yeah, well, if it's Mark Hogan, I don't--

Gloria: Unh, unh, unh, unh, unh. Mr. Hogan?

Jeff: (Sighs)

Gloria: Look who I just found.

Jeff: (Laughs)

Hogan: Hey, there, Jeffrey. Long time, no see.

Jeff: Yeah, I was just on my way out.

Gloria: Mnh. Honey, I think you can find time for one of our finest customers.

Jeff: (Sighs)

Gloria: Can't you? Mr. Hogan.

Hogan: While you're at it, why don't you find that 15 grand you owe me?

Jeff: 15? I thought it was 10.

Hogan: It costs money to owe money. If you can afford fancy vacations in Boca Raton, you can pay me.

Jeff: Yeah, well, there's Kevin. Maybe he can help us figure this out.

Kevin: (Sighs)

Gloria: (Stammers) No. No. No. No. She is trouble. You stay away.

Kevin: What, are you the hall monitor now?

Gloria: Hey, your judgment hasn't always been exactly right on, you know?

Kevin: Look who's talking. You know what?

Gloria: (Stammers) Stop--

Kevin: Leave me alone, Mom, and stop meddling in my life.

Jana: Oh. (Chuckles) Hello. (Clears throat) Where'd you come from?

Kevin: Somebody, Jana, called child services accusing Chloe of traumatizing Delia.

Jana: What?

Kevin: You wouldn't know anything about that, would you? Would you?

Jana: (Sighs) No, Chloe’s, um, she's a wonderful mother. I can’t... (Chuckles) I mean, just to think-- that--that's just-- that's outrageous.

Kevin: Yeah, that's what we thought. Yet there we were in my apartment trying to convince a social worker that we hadn't scarred this kid for life.

Jana: Well, is there anything I can do? I'd vouch-- I'd vouch for you.

Kevin: No, I handled it. But you know what burns me the most, though? It's that whoever did this didn't for a second think about Delia, because had she been taken away from her mother, that's what would have traumatized her.

Jana: (Sighs) Wow, uh, Chloe must really be a wr-- a wreck. Um, this isn't gonna go in any official file or anything, is it? I mean... come back to bite her one day?

Chloe: Well, I'm glad you're not purple anymore, 'cause, you know, it's really not a good color on you.

Billy: Yeah, all right. I'm sorry if I overreacted a little bit. It's just been a very rough day. I'm going on fumes.

Chloe: Well, you know, you weren't totally off base.

Billy: (Sighs) Oh, yeah? About you and Kevin?

Chloe: I mean, you know me. You know, I've been chasing the whole "White picket fence" deal for pretty much my entire life. (Sighs)

Billy: (Sighs)

Chloe: And, I don't know, sometimes I wonder what I'm doing here. Why am I living in this apartment with Kevin? You know, taking funny pictures and making a whole caricature of, like, the real thing? Which is really funny, because you-- you're the one who would have an allergic reaction if you actually had to settle down, you know, and now look at you. You've got it all. You've got the house, the fence, the swing set in the backyard.

Billy: Well, sometimes, the picture isn't as perfect as it appears.

Chloe: Wow. Is... is that about Victoria? I mean, is she not pregnant like she was hoping to be? I'm really sorry.

Billy: Hey, it's not your fault.

Chloe: Are we okay?

Billy: Mm-hmm. We're fine. We're fine. I just want to say hi to DeeDee before I leave if that's okay.

Chloe: Yeah, okay. Well, for the record, you know, a little brother or sister... I would, uh, I would actually like that.

Billy: Hmm.

Phyllis: Thank you, your honor. That was the judge, and, uh, she thinks it’s... a fine idea. She's very happy you're stepping up.

Daniel: Perfect. Fine.

Daisy: I'll--I'll go pack. (Grunts)

Phyllis: Please be careful. Don't lift anything. Daniel and I will do that. (Sighs)

Daniel: Thank you. Thank you for not fighting me on this.

Daniel: (Whispering) I-if this doesn't work out, I will bring her right back here. I promise.

Phyllis: There--there are groceries in the refrigerator. I want you to take them.

Daniel: (Normal voice) Thank you. I... (Scoffs) I guess I'm gonna go help her pack her stuff.

Phyllis: Wait a minute, Daniel. (Voice breaks) Thank you. (Normal voice) Thank you for giving me my daughter back. I know this isn't easy for you, and I'm really, really proud of you for stepping up. But listen to me. Please be careful.

Daniel: I will. I will. It's not just a game - it's the game.

Jana: My God, you have offered to raise Daisy's baby.

Kevin: Ask me with a little more disdain in your voice.

Jana: (Stammers) If you do this, y-you're never going to be free of her. Do you understand that? She's always going to be a threat.

Kevin: Well, hopefully, she's going to be too busy making license plates for the next 50 years.

Jana: That does not matter, okay? The point is is that woman is capable of evil, and nobody, no one, including the baby will ever feel completely safe.

Kevin: All I know is the only way I can protect that kid is to raise her myself, okay?

Daniel: Hey, uh, thank you. Let me know if you need anything out here.

Daisy: Things were really tense at your mom’s. Maybe the baby'll be a lot less stressed here.

Daniel: Daisy, I'm just trying to do what's best for everyone, okay? Well, guess this is where it all started, huh? Where you got me into this mess.

Daisy: If I could go back, I would. I--

Daniel: I-I don't need to hear apologies, okay? Amber, she could have forgiven me for having sex with you because you manipulated me into it. What she couldn't forgive me for was not wanting to have kids. And, well... (Clears throat) Now here I am being tricked into fatherhood, so thanks a whole hell of a lot.

Sofia: Whew, I had no idea Bumpy the Camel was such a rock star.

Lily: (Chuckles) Oh, yeah, big-time.

Sofia: Well, so since I have you secluded, what was it you wanted to talk to me about with Cane?

Lily: Um, yes, uh, well, listen. I don't want to sound selfish or ungrateful. But, you know, Cane has just been working so hard, and he's been pulling all-nighters for weeks now.

Sofia: Well, I don't know why he's working extra hours, especially with Blake on board. You know what? If you want, I can ask him if he needs some backup.

Lily: Oh, no, no, no, no. Please don't do that. I would be so embarrassed if he knew that I was complaining to his boss.

Sofia: Lily, you are not complaining. You're just being a good wife.

(Cell phone rings)

Lily: Yeah--oh, sorry. Oh, it's Cane. Hold on. Hey, how's it going?

Cane: Uh, I'm still out and about. Um, yeah. H-how are you? Is everything okay?

Lily: Everything's good. Uh, we bailed the tree to do some shopping, of course. (Laughs)

Sofia: (Laughs)

Lily: Um, we're gonna go to Gloworm, though, to get a bite to eat. Do you want to join us?

Cane: (Clicks tongue) Uh, you know what? I might be a while, so...

Lily: Please?

Sofia: Say, "Pretty please with a whole bunch of sugarplums on top."

Lily: Did you hear that? Sofia wants you to come.

Sofia: (Chuckles)

Lily: (Chuckles)

Cane: Listen, you ladies go. You have fun, okay? Yes, look, I'll be there as soon as I can, all right? I promise. All right, I love you. Bye. (Sighs)

Blake: Well, the word around the bar is you're ruining the atmosphere.

Cane: You know what? I'd really appreciate it if I could just get this work done so I can go and have lunch with Lily and Sofia if that's okay with you.

Blake: Oh, that sounds good. I'll tell you what, um, I'll go keep the ladies company while you sit here and power through the charts and numbers.

Cane: You listen to me, you little pissant, all right? I've had enough of your attitude for one day.

Blake: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Back off, Mate.

Cane: Mate? No, no, no, no. See, that's your mistake. I'm not your mate, all right? You're nothing. You don't give me orders. You're an errand boy. You're a lackey, all right? Lackey. There is one man pulling the strings, and we both know who he is.

Jill: Look at me. I've just been sitting here monopolizing the conversation. I'd like to learn something about you.

Colin: Well, I've been working for the Queensland government for the last few years.

Jill: Mm.

Colin: But I've recently, uh, returned to my previous profession. I'm in town to recruit an old colleague back into the team.

Daisy: I have no expectations, Daniel.

Daniel: Good.

Daisy: The way I was raised, surrounded by hatred, I would wish that on no kid. I-I don't know how to be a good mom. But at least she knows she'll be loved.

Daniel: (Scoffs) Wait a second. You're--you're acting like you think you're gonna raise this child. You're not. As soon as you have her, you're going back to jail. Unless you give it up for adoption...

Daisy: No, but Kevin said he's--

Daniel: Uh, no, no. I know what Kevin said--that he wants to take it. No, there's no way I'm gonna let that happen. I want her to grow up far away from here, having no idea where she came from.

Daisy: I won’t. I won't give up this baby.

Daniel: (Scoffs)

Billy: Is Daniel nuts?

Phyllis: I could argue it either way.

Billy: Okay, well, I understand that he's your son, but--

Phyllis: Yeah. Yeah. Stop right there. He's my son. Right. Okay? And I'm glad I went after Adam. I'm glad, because it knocked Daisy and my son off our cover of the next issue of "Restless Style."

Billy: All right. Adam and Sharon, they are bigger news. However, the return of a vicious kidnapper seven months pregnant, that's pretty juicy stuff.

Phyllis: Okay, right, yeah.

Billy: And it is our bread and butter, mind you.

Phyllis: Yeah. No. No. No. It's not. Listen. Get this straight. My son is a victim. She drugged my son, had sex with him.

Billy: I know, which is all the more sensational, and people want to read this stuff. Look, here's my point. Everybody is fair game, even if their last name isn't Newman, okay?

(Doorbell rings)

Phyllis: That's our messenger. Our messenger with the latest issue of "Restless Style." Thank you very much, John.

Billy: (Chuckles)

Phyllis: Behold. Are you ready to lay your eyes on our next issue before it hits the stands?

Billy: (Chuckles) Lay it on me.

Jeff: (Sighs)

Kevin: Welcome back. You can thank me now. While you were gone, I saved your ass.

Jeff: If that's all you came here to say, then... (Vibrates lips)

Hogan: Hey, you might want to treat our friend here with a little more respect.

Jeff: Yeah, well, I think our "Friend" here is gettin' a little too big for his britches.

Hogan: Is that what you think?

Jeff: (Grunts)

Hogan: No civility these days. Such a doggone shame.

Kevin: (Sighs)

Jill: I have so enjoyed meeting you, Colin, and I hope that your visit here is a tremendous success.

Colin: Well, thank you, Jill. Perhaps we could do this again sometime.

Jill: That would be--

Lily: Jill.

Jill: Oh, Sweetheart.

Lily: Hi, how are you?

Jill: Oh, you have the best timing. Hi, Honey.

Lily: (Chuckles) Hi.

Jill: There's a new acquaintance that I would like you to meet. Colin Atkinson, this is Lily, Cane's wife.

Lily: Hi, nice to meet you.

Colin: Hi, nice to meet you.

Jill: And his boss Sofia Dupre.

Sofia: Hello.

Colin: Well, you know, Jill speaks so highly of Cane. And now I-I've got these two lovely faces to go with the names.

Jill: (Chuckles)

Sofia: Do I detect a New South Wales accent?

Colin: Oh, she's good.

Jill: Oh, she is.

Sofia: Well-traveled.

Jill: Hello, Darling. Hi.

Sofia: I, um, work for McCall, Unlimited. Perhaps you've heard of it. We have a large project in Australia.

Jill: (Sighs)

Lily: Hey.

Cane: Hey.

Lily: Hi, you made it.

Cane: I promised you I would, Baby.

Lily: Hello.

Sofia: Hey, Blake.

Cane: Hey, Sofia.

Sofia: Oh, hope we're not in trouble for, uh, ditching the Christmas tree.

Cane: Uh, you know, I'll let you off the hook just this once.

Sofia: (Chuckles)

Jill: Colin, there's someone here I would love you to meet. This is my son Cane Ashby. Cane, this is Colin Atkinson. He's from Australia, too. I thought that you'd have a lot in common.

Colin: Oh, yeah. I'll bet we do.

Billy: (Sighs) You know, not to belabor this--

Phyllis: I-I--okay. Yeah, I know. I know. I know. Just open it.

Billy: No, look, you and I, we need to come to an understanding if you want to continue with this magazine.

Phyllis: I get it-- no sacred cows, I understand. I understand. I'll embroider it on a pillow. Just open that.

Billy: Fine. I trust you...

Phyllis: (Giggles)

Billy: That you got my message.

Phyllis: (Gasps)

Billy: Ooh.

Phyllis: (Sighs)

Billy: So is she a damsel in distress or evil temptress?

Phyllis: Oh, that's fantastic. Oh, my gosh.

Billy: This is a surefire hit.

Phyllis: Absolutely. I can't wait to see it hit the stands.

Billy: Oh, well, that's not all you-- that's not all you can't wait to see.

Phyllis: Well, um, what? Sharon's reaction?

Billy: Mm-hmm.

Phyllis: Sure. How do you know me? (Clears throat) You know, Billy, I would have to agree with what you said before. There are no favorites. Everybody's fair game. But there are some games that are more fair than others.

Daniel: I don't really want to talk about this anymore. This is a really small apartment, and unless the two of us can figure out how to get along, we're both gonna go crazy.

Daisy: As long as you understand I'm not giving my baby up to some stranger.

(Knock on door)

Daniel: (Scoffs)

Daisy: (Sighs)

Jana: The guard said I could knock.

Daniel: What are you doing here?

Jana: May I please come in?

Daniel: Uh, yeah, sure. Why not?

Jana: Ahh. I stopped at Phyllis', and she told me that Daisy is here now. Hello, Daisy. These are for you. Welcome to your new home.

Daisy: (Chuckles) Thank you.

Jana: Mm-hmm.

Daniel: You're giving flowers to the woman who almost killed you.

Jana: Well, you know, I figured the only way to move past all of that is forgiveness. (Sighs) So no hard feelings.

Daisy: Hmm.

Daniel: Okay, we have now officially entered "The Twilight Zone."

Jana: Well, I know you're getting all settled in here, so I think I best be on my way.

Daisy: Are you sure you don't want to stay and talk?

Jana: No, another time. We'll have a nice, long chat over tea, see if we can come to some sort of an understanding, hmm? Okay, well, bye.

Daniel: (Sighs)

Jeff: (Sighs)

Kevin: Hey. Hey, where's Delia?

Chloe: Uh, I dropped her off at my mom’s.

Kevin: What was so urgent?

Chloe: What do you think? I want to know what Jana said.

Kevin: Uh, Jana says that she didn't narc us out.

Chloe: (Sighs) Okay, well, I'm sorry that Billy was such a toad.

Kevin: Well, thank you for defending me.

Chloe: No, no, thank you for being so terrific. You know, I'm--I'm not used to having someone to lean on and having someone to take fun pictures with. You know, we would be a really cute, little family. It sucks that we're just buds. Really. (Sighs) Such is life.

Kevin: Such is life. Excuse me.

Jeff: (Sighs) Man. (Sighs) This better not turn into another shiner. I had a hard enough time explaining where the last one...

Hogan: I'm sure you'll think of something.

Jeff: I should never have gone into business with you.

Hogan: Oh, about that-- there's been a change in our corporate structure. Kevin's in charge now. You work for him.

Jeff: You're joking.

Hogan: I'm taking what you owe from your cut of the bookie operations. I'll expect a payment out of the till here every night.

Jeff: Look, I'm sure we can discuss this like two--

Gloria: Mr. Hogan. You're very bad. You haven't paid any attention to me at all. (Chuckles)

Hogan: And now I have to leave.

Gloria: Oh.

Hogan: Life's so unfair. Isn't that right, Jeff?

Jeff: (Scoffs)

Blake: I'm so glad to meet you, Mr. Atkinson.

Colin: Colin, please.

Blake: Colin. Absolutely.

Jill: (Chuckles)

Lily: So where are the shopping bags?

Cane: They're in the car.

Jill: You know what? Why don't we grab a table and have a bite to eat? Could you join us, Colin?

Sofia: Oh, that'd be good.

Colin: I'd love to. Let me get the bar tab, and I'll be right over.

Jill: Great. Okay.

Lily: Good idea.

Sofia: What about right here?

Colin: I'll bet you didn't expect to see me out so soon, given the fact that you put me in prison to begin with.

Cane: (Whispering) You stay the hell away from my family. You got that?

Colin: (Chuckles) Oh, that's funny. I thought-- I thought you and I were family. I think it's time you came home, Son.

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Noah: You still want Adam, which means I don't want to know you anymore.

Daisy: I'm not giving my baby to Kevin.

Jana: You're gonna give it to me.

Phyllis: (Grunts) Oh! Oh, my God!

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