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Episode # 9488 ~ Jack & Phyllis: Back to Old Habits?

Provided By Eric
Proofread By Emma

J.T.: So Reed, Summer, and Delia all at once, huh? You sure you guys are ready for this?

Victoria: Yeah, I mean, we wouldn't have arranged it if we couldn't handle it.

Billy: Yeah, besides, it's good practice for, um... (Clears throat)

Victoria: Number three in our blended bunch.

Billy: Yeah.

Mac: Okay, then. If you guys need backup, call us.

Victoria: Yeah, we won’t.

Cordelia: (Coughs)

Billy: Uh-oh.

J.T.: All right.

Billy: You guys have fun, you crazy kids.

J.T.: Yeah. You guys be good, okay?

Billy: You okay?

J.T.: See ya.

Billy: Bye.

Victoria: Bye-bye!

Billy: Bye.

Victoria: O-kay. What do you guys want to do?

Together: Play!

Billy: Play? Play?

Victoria: Well.

Billy: What do you think?

Victoria: They're loud.

Billy: Yeah, they're loud. And--and some of them are soggy.

Victoria: That's all right. That's okay. We've got it covered.

Billy: Yeah?

Victoria: Mm-hmm.

Billy: Piece of cake?

Victoria: Yeah.

Billy: Should we get 'em?

Victoria: Let's get 'em.

Billy: Let's get 'em. (Makes airplane noises)

Victoria: Where are you?

Nick: I mean, did you see that face? She is an old soul.

Sharon: (Laughs) You said the same thing about Noah.

Nick: Who also happens to be a genius, by the way.

Sharon: Mm-hmm.

Nick: Hey, am I, uh, screwin' up bedtime?

Sharon: Oh, yeah, she looks like she's about ready to pass out. I think you should go. Really. Bye.

Nick: Eh, mommy's a comedienne. Let's hope you get my sense of humor.

Sharon: (Gasps)

Nick: Want to give mommy some of that?

Sharon: Can I have some of that?

Skye: The Newman fund is good business and good copy. Your readers will thank you for this piece.

Jack: What's Junior up to now?

Phyllis: I don't know. They're being interviewed.

Jack: By what? "Sociopath Weekly"?

Phyllis: Let's find out. Let's find out. Let's find out.

Adam: Jack. Phyllis.

Phyllis: Adam.

Jack: Why so cheery, Junior? I thought you had the world by... the string.

Skye: We both do. We just finished an interview with "Financial Views" about the fund. More attention means more capital. Therefore, more profit.

Phyllis: Mm.

Skye: Your very wise investment just got a little wiser.

Jack: Lucky us.

Adam: Yep. I'm going to stop pretending I care about this conversation. You can quote me on that.

Jack: What?

Phyllis: You invested with them? So what's your angle?

Jack: You really want to waste time talking about those two, or you want to tell me what's new in your life? You love a good audience. And I'm your biggest fan.

Phyllis: Oh, my gosh. You are flirting with me.

Jack: Bad Jack.

Mac: The place is kind of quiet without Reed.

J.T.: Yeah, that's true, but on the upside, I don't have to yell over a toy guitar to ask if you're hungry.

Mac: I'm not. I'm okay. (Sighs)

J.T.: You sure? 'Cause I could make you a... ketchup and jelly sandwich. Uh, no, scratch that. Actually, no bread. Ketchup and jelly on a crouton. Hmm?

Mac: I'm sorry. I-I was supposed to go to the market, and I forgot. I'm--I'm so sorry.

J.T.: Hey, come on. Don't worry about it. We can get takeout. But what we can't get anybody to deliver is the big stuff, you know? Like you being here for Reed. And guess what? You got that covered.

Mac: Do you know that hanging out with Reed is the best part of my day?

J.T.: (Chuckles)

Mac: Aside from being with you.

J.T.: Well...

Mac: But I'm--I'm not trying to take Victoria's place. I mean, I know she's his mother, and nothing can change that ever.

J.T.: No, I know. Of course not. Nobody thinks that. But you're a hell of a stepmom, and you're gonna be an amazing mom.

Mac: Well, if that happens one day, I would love it. But until then, Reed is enough.

Victoria: Aah!

Billy: (Grunting) Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! I smell ice cream in the kitchen.

Victoria: I do, too. (Inhales deeply, exhales)

Billy: I-I smell--see? You smell that?

Victoria: Ooh! (Laughs)

Billy: Nice move. Nice move. Now we just need this one. Okay, come on. Give me the-- give me the gun. Give--give it to me. Give me-- come on. Give it to me.

Victoria: Yeah. Yeah. Give him the gun, Summer.

Billy: Give it to me.

Victoria: Give it to him, Summer.

Billy: Hey! No! Oh, come on!

Victoria: Yeah! Whoo!

Billy: Quickly! Quickly! Oh, you traitor! You little traitor!

Victoria: (Laughs)

Billy: Aah! Aah! Aah! (Groans)

Reed: (Grunts) (Giggles)

Victoria: What-- what's that smell? (Sniffs) I smell something.

Billy: What? Hey, I-- I already tried that trick.

Victoria: Oh! My cookies!

Billy: Ooh, wait, wait, wait. Come on. Scoot. Scoot. Scoot.

Victoria: Oh, no! My cookies!

Summer: (Giggles)

Billy: Get in. Get in. Get in. Get in. (Whispering) We're gonna get her. Ready? Wait till she pops out.

Victoria: I'm such a failure. Oh, my cookies.

Billy: Ha!

Summer: Ha!

Billy: We got you!

Victoria: (Groans)

Billy: (Normal voice) Aw, well, Honey, that's what you get for making cookies and not "Making cookies."

Victor: (Sighs)

(Water sizzles on cookie sheet)

Victoria: (Laughs) I'm so sorry.

Billy: (Laughs)

Summer: (Giggles)

Skye: After this article goes to print, we are that much more legit. I'm securing our future here. Feel free to thank me.

Adam: Thank you, Skye. Thank you for what? For... bustin' my chops? Being a pain in my neck? You think I'm gonna forget what you did to me before that interview?

Skye: (Sighs)

Sharon: Where's the baby?

Nick: Oh.

Sharon: (Gasps)

Nick: There she is!

Sharon: There she is.

Nick: Yay!

Sharon: (Laughs) So who was daddy making out with?

Nick: Wha-- uh, what?

Sharon: Tell your daddy that Phyllis likes to spread gossip about him whenever she can.

Nick: (Sighs)

Faith: (Babbles)

Nick: Okay. Yeah, I figured, uh, once she called me out on what happened at Jimmy's, she would go to you.

Sharon: So you were making out with a blonde in a bar?

Faith: (Babbles)

Nick: This is gonna sound like a really cheesy line, but, uh, she's actually a really nice woman.

Sharon: And this "Nice woman" looked enough like me that Phyllis could mistake her for me?

Nick: No. Uh, it just was a bad night, and it seemed like the right thing to do. But that's as far as it went, and it is definitely done.

Sharon: Well, daddy seems to think that everything I do is about him, so what do you think?

(Knock on door)

Sharon: Do you think that this nice, strange lady was about mommy?

Nick: (Groans)

Sharon: I don't know who's at the door. Security didn't buzz me.

Nick: Must be someone on the ranch.

Sharon: (Gasps) Noah? Noah! (Laughs)

Nick: Hey, you're home. Noah's home.

Noah: (Laughs)

Sharon: (Chuckles)

Jack: Really, Red. "A woman scorned"?

Phyllis: Just a little piece of fluff to pass the time.

Jack: Yeah, fluff. Sticking it to anyone and everyone and enjoying every minute of it.

Phyllis: So what if I am? Who cares? I'm trending. Somebody made a web site for me, and I got 10,000 likes.

Jack: Oh, then you're screwing friends and neighbors as a public service.

Phyllis: Right, friends. Sure. No, I did it because it's fun and also I'm tired of walking around this town with a smile on my face, like a Stepford wife, at all the hypocrites. That's why. Also, I miss publishing.

Jack: Oh, and you call this publishing?

Phyllis: Yeah, that's what it's called.

Jack: This is slash and burn with puns and quips, and you, my dear, and I know this from experience, play rough.

Phyllis: Do you want to lecture me, or do you want to flirt? Because that's a lot more fun, and you can't do both.

Jack: Oh, no, no, this isn't a lecture at all. This is admiration. This is the old Red. This is classic Red, and I missed that.

Phyllis: You should learn from example and bring back the old Jack.

Jack: I never went anywhere.

Phyllis: You used to be the roving wolf. Then you turned into the... the snoring golden retriever at Dr. P.'s feet.

Jack: So should I get us a room now, or do we wait to finish these drinks?

(Camera shutter clicks)

Nick: All right.

Sharon: (Giggles)

Nick: Well, how come you didn't call and tell us you were coming home?

Noah: Just a last-minute surprise.

Sharon: So is Eden at--at Lauren and Michael's?

Noah: Um, she's still in Paris, actually.

Sharon: Oh. You broke up. What happened?

Noah: It didn't work out. She's hurt, and I just, you know, I thought it would be better if I headed home.

Nick: I'm glad to see you home, and you should be single at this age anyway.

Noah: Yeah. Especially since when I take this one out, girls are gonna be all over me. (Gasps) "She's so cute."

Sharon: (Gasps) Oh.

Noah: "You're so good with kids."

Sharon: (Groans)

Noah: "Here's my number." (Laughs)

Nick: It's--it's a good plan.

Sharon: Faith is not your babe magnet, okay? (Laughs)

Nick: You can do it after.

Sharon: So does this mean that you're--you're home for good?

Noah: I don't have any plans one way or the other, but I'm here for now. Is that okay?

Sharon: That's...

Nick: (Chuckles) Of course.

Sharon: Wonderful! (Chuckles) And don't you tease me, okay?

Noah: (Whispering) What's that? What's that?

Sharon: 'Cause I know that you're just as happy about this as I am.

Nick: Yeah.

Noah: So I was wondering if, uh, mom and dad were back together yet. I guess I have my answer.

Sharon: Oh, uh, no, we're--we're--we're not.

Nick: Mnh-mnh.

Noah: What? No. How long? (Gasps) I'd say a month till reunion, tops. Oh, because we all know it's gonna happen. The only question is, when?

Victoria: (Groans) Wow. They are beasts.

Billy: They're bad.

Victoria: (Sighs)

Billy: And three of them at the same time-- that was a bad idea.

Victoria: That was your idea.

Billy: (Grumbles)

Victoria: And what happened, by the way? We did what you said to do. We switched from man-to-man to zone.

Billy: I know. I know. And we lost anyway.

Victoria: (Sighs) Mm-hmm.

Billy: Mm-hmm.

Victoria: You just wait till this one comes along.

Billy: (Sighs) Well, I've got eight months to think of some new plays, and I also have an 8:00 A.M. meeting, so...

Victoria: Yeah?

Billy: Mm-hmm.

Victoria: Well, you're gonna be up at 6:00 A.M. with the sponge.

Billy: Hmm?

Victoria: Mm-hmm. Then you can scamper off to your little meeting, and I'll be stuck here at home unemployed.

Billy: Are you unemployed? Aw. (Chuckles) You know, you can call Tucker, and you can take him up on that offer.

Victoria: No, I'm not gonna call Tucker. He's the one who followed us to Japan. He's the reason that the department of justice knows about the Mitsukoshi deal. And besides, the only reason he offered me that job was to needle my father.

Billy: Well, come on. Let's be fair here. Jabot's a good company. And Ashley’s there. She'll look after you. It's good.

Victoria: Yeah? Who's gonna look out for Ashley? No. Tucker is too unpredictable.

Billy: Okay, well, maybe you can open up a bakery because, you know...

Victoria: (Sighs)

Billy: You are such a wiz in the kitchen.

Victoria: Hmm, I thought you liked my cookies.

Billy: (Laughs) Okay. Okay. Well, uh, you know, I've been in between jobs before. Take some time off, okay? Hang out with the kids, all of 'em. It'll be fun.

Victoria: God, no. Are you kidding me?

Adam: So here's how it's gonna play out, Mrs. Newman. You think you have this ax that you can hang over my head, and you'll reveal all my little secrets, and I'll rot away in jail, but you see, I have an ax, too, much like yours. And it's right about... here. I have put up with enough of your crap. If you push me any further, I might... just... snap.

J.T.: You know, I love this. I love this, you know, living with you, feeling you next to me in bed hearing you and Reed singing in the kitchen. You know, and I love... I love that he's enough for you, that he's not a nuisance or--or something you're stuck with because of me.

Mac: Oh, God, no. Never.

J.T.: You know what? You're amazing with him. You really are. You know, you're even more patient than I am, and... (Sighs) You know, and I... I think about you when you were carrying the twins.

Mac: You're not watching the movie because I carried twins?

J.T.: No, I am not watching the movie because I want you, this, us... forever. You know? And I-I-I-- I keep thinking how I want to start a family with you.

Mac: You want me to, um...

J.T.: Have our baby.

Mac: (Sighs)

Billy: Here you go.

Victoria: Thank you.

Billy: Okay.

Victoria: I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. That came out the wrong way.

Billy: Oh, so you mean staying home with Delia, Reed, number three-- that's a good idea?

Victoria: God, no!

Billy: (Chuckles)

Victoria: No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That came out wrong... again.

Billy: I-I understand. It's fine. You're just not an über-full-time mom. That's all.

Victoria: No, that's not true. Every mother is a full-time mother, even... it doesn't matter where the kids live, if mom's working. But, no, I am not a stay-at-home mom.

Billy: Okay, I-I apologize. That's my fault. I-I had the wrong terminology. I take it back.

Victoria: It's just that-- okay, listen. After Reed was born, I tried to stay at home. I did. And by the end of the day, I was climbing the walls.

Billy: Okay, you know, I-- I understand. I get it. You hate our children. That's what you're trying to tell me.

Victoria: No, I love our children. (Laughs) I do.

Billy: Mm-hmm.

Victoria: I love them.

Billy: Okay.

Victoria: But a part of my personal pride comes from business. I love business. I love meetings. I love contracts. I love all of it.

Billy: Yeah, the thrill of victory.

Victoria: Yes, and it is just as valid for me to work as it is for any father to work.

Billy: I agree, okay? And even if I didn't, I am not your boss. So I'm not gonna tell you what to do. If you want to go to work, Baby, do it. If you want to stay here, Baby, do it. You want to come with me to "Restless Style" and work, you could do that.

Victoria: (Sighs) You know that we'd kill each other by lunchtime, don't you?

Billy: I know, but it would be a hot, sexy death. It'd be nice. Mm.

Victoria: No!

Billy: Oh, okay. Well, then what are we gonna do here? If there's not gonna be Jabot...

Victoria: (Sighs)

Billy: I guess there's not gonna be any Newman. There's not gonna be any "Restless Style." What do you want to do?

Victoria: Well, obviously, my specialty is cosmetics.

Billy: Mm-hmm.

Victoria: Or I could always sign up with Abby and her production company. I could pitch an idea about a reality show based on "Father Knows Best" starring you and me and all three of our children. And...

Billy: Mm-hmm. Mnh-mnh.

Victoria: And--no?

Billy: Mnh-mnh. No, because I would be the star. I'd be the father who supposedly knows best, except for when I walk around the corner and a camera follows me, and some slick producer cuts at me scratching my butt, and I look like some real doofus. Yeah. Great.

Victoria: (Laughs) That is so true. You would.

Billy: (Laughs sarcastically)

Victoria: But you'd at least be a famous doofus.

Billy: Oh, that would be wonderful. Come here, you little smart-aleck.

Victoria: (Laughs)

Billy: You think that's cute? You think that's funny? Ow! Ow!

Victoria: No. Leave me alone. I have some cookies to bake.

Billy: You're gonna bake some cookies? Ne-need some help?

Victoria: Aah! (Laughs)

Billy: I want some cookies. I'll get some cookies. (Laughs)

Victoria: Oh! I'm spilling my water!

Phyllis: I'm tingly. Is that wrong?

Jack: Hey, you said you wanted the wolf back. I'm suddenly overwhelmed with lupine urges.

Phyllis: So that translates into "Go upstairs with your ex?"

Jack: Where's the harm there? Neither one of us is attached. We were very good together. Of course, if you're still hung up on your wedding date Deacon Sharpe...

Phyllis: Ooh. (Clears throat)

Jack: Well, then. Shall we?

Phyllis: No. No. It's wrong. You know, it's actually more right to go upstairs with someone like Deacon Sharpe.

Jack: Ouch.

Phyllis: No, because he's... creepy. It makes more sense. All right, listen. He was my date for the wedding, and, you know, other things. But I just did that as a power trip and to get back at Nick.

Jack: I'm always happy to be part of a well-timed flip off.

Phyllis: (Laughs) No. No. Listen, as good as we were together, and as hot as we were together, I would be thinking that I was doing it to get back at Nick again, and I don't want to do anything like that. I mean, it's a pride thing. How many years did I spend reacting to Nick? Being calm, being stoic? Being angry? I don't want to do that anymore, because if I go upstairs with you, I'll be thinking in the back of my head, this is because of Nick, and I don't want to make it because of Nick. I mean, if I'm stupid enough to want to get lucky, it's gotta be with someone, well, one of the few people, that... I don't feel I can survive without.

Jack: So let me see if I've got this straight. You like me too much to have sex with me, and it's a pride thing.

Phyllis: You have to pretend to understand at least.

Jack: I can do that and a whole lot more.

Phyllis: (Chuckles) Stop.

Jack: What? What did I do?

Phyllis: I love you. I love you.

Jack: I love you too, Red. I love you just this much more when you're not so damn reasonable.

Nick: You know...

Sharon: Good!

Nick: Even Faith knows that your mother and I are not getting back together.

Sharon: Got it! Yeah, romance isn't exactly a priority right now.

Noah: A little too much drama?

Sharon: Maybe now you can relate?

Noah: Hey, uh, congrats to Phyllis on her new blog. Very Phyllis. She had to snark out big-time, especially when she went after Mom.

Sharon: She's always been that way.

Noah: It doesn't make it okay. Everything on the web is there forever, and Faith will see it someday.

Nick: Phyllis is just mad at me right now. She's taken it out on everybody in town. Maybe, you know, when she gets it out of her system, she'll drop the blog.

Noah: What about Summer? She with Phyllis tonight?

Sharon: Um, I think she's at a sleepover.

Nick: Yeah, she's with Reed and Delia at Victoria's place.

Noah: Oh, yeah, how is, uh, Aunt Vicki? Abby texted me about the feds and all that. Is everything okay?

Nick: Eh. For now.

(Cell phone alert chimes)

Noah: I hear ya. (Sighs) Don't get used to it.

Noah: (Sighs) I gotta read this. Um, is it okay?

Sharon: That's always gonna be your room, Noah.

Noah: Okay.

Nick: I'm really glad you're back, Son.

Sharon: Was that weird?

Nick: (Sighs) He's not a kid anymore. He just needs some privacy. What a surprise, huh?

Sharon: Wow. He's just so... he's so handsome and grown-up, My baby.

Nick: Yep. You got all your babies under one roof.

Skye: Where are you going?

Adam: Out.

Skye: You said your piece, and I'm glad. We've always been straight with each other. It's what makes us unbeatable. And... that's why I love you.

Adam: You love me?

Skye: I'm not about to make us gag and say it all the time, but its there. I push you because we could own this town. Hell, the whole world if that's what you want.

Adam: Skye, you are so good at bluffing at the table. It's too bad you're pathetic at it in real life. You love my name. We made trade. You give me a lawyer, you pay my bail, I pay you with my name. And then we have this little partnership. And that little partnership warped into something where it's a dog and pony show and I'm jumping through hoops. Now listen. I took a chance. I walked away from my father and all the little bonuses and all the little perks and the cachet of being his son. So if you don't think that I wouldn't walk away from you... in a heartbeat, Skye. And when I leave, I will take my name with me.

Jack: Oh, please, I was forward and ungentlemanly. I'll pay.

Phyllis: (Chuckles) Yeah, you pay. You invested with Satan and his bride. You buy me dinner.

Jack: Speaking of whom... there appears to be trouble in paradise.

Phyllis: That woman Skye is deranged. She's married to him. She's definitely deranged. I kind of pity her, because she's married to a guy who's obsessed with Sharon, and I kind of know how that goes.

Jack: You will recover. You're already halfway there.

Phyllis: I am totally there. Thank you for dinner. Thank you very much. (Clears throat) Um, I have to say, for a second there...

Jack: You were tempted, weren't you?

Phyllis: (Laughs) You got your mojo, Jack.

Jack: Yeah, me and my mojo. At least I won't have to drink alone. Good night, Phyllis.

Phyllis: Good night.

Jack: Well, "Mrs. Junior." I couldn't help but notice your, uh, hubby leaving in a huff. Problems?

Skye: Not for long. Scotch, neat. And come back soon.

J.T.: (Sighs) Look, I'm sorry, all right? That was crazy. How-- what you just went through with the twins and-- and trying to run two businesses, and me and Reed, it's just a lot.

Mac: Yes.

J.T.: What?

Mac: Yes.

J.T.: Yes?

Mac: Yes. Yes, I will have a baby with you.

J.T.: What--that didn't sound like a yes before.

Mac: Well, I wasn't expecting you to say that. But, to be honest, I've been thinking about it, as well.

J.T.: Really? Really? You never said anything.

Mac: Well, I had to make sure that this was about us, you know, and not about the twins, and I know that it isn’t. It's about being with you and feeling like-- like there's someone missing from the table, you know? What about you? Do you think this is because Victoria's having a baby with Billy?

J.T.: No. No. Trust me. Look, the idea of having our own kid has been rolling around in my head for a long time, all right? It doesn't have anything to do with anybody else. Well, actually, that's not true. You know there's a-- there's a part of me that always wondered about the baby we lost, you know? How amazing that kid might have been. And, you know, it-- here we are. And it feels right. So my head goes places, you know, like forever and family and babies.

Mac: Wow. I'm gonna be a mom. (Laughs)

J.T.: Well, look, you know, there's no expectations, all right? It'll happen when it happens.

Mac: I'm-- I'm pretty positive it could happen tonight.

J.T.: That's some serious optimism.

Mac: Well, no matter what, we can have fun trying.

Victoria: (Sighs) Beaten. Beaten by three small children.

Billy: Yeah, well, maybe, you know, we actually won, because they're sound asleep, and we are wide awake.

Victoria: Yeah. (Sighs) We are so domestic.

Billy: Oh, come on. We will never lose our edge.

Victoria: You're right.

Billy: Mm-hmm.

Victoria: Mm-hmm.

Billy: Mm-hmm.

Victoria: Even if we have 50 kids, we'll still be kickin' it back at the arcade, because we are so wild.

Billy: 50?

Victoria: 50.

Billy: 50? Well, I've got a wild idea in mind right now.

Victoria: Yeah?

Billy: Mm-hmm.

Victoria: Upstairs?

Billy: Mnh-mnh.

Victoria: No?

Billy: No. No upstairs.

Victoria: No?

Billy: No.

Victoria: Mm.

Billy: Mm.

Victoria: Then maybe here? Like this?

Billy: Yeah, sofa works.

Victoria: Yeah?

Billy: Or maybe, uh, over there.

Victoria: Over there?

Billy: Mm-hmm. How about that wall right there? (Growls)

Victoria: Oh, yeah, that could work. The wall or the fireplace.

Billy: Well, that's why God invented throw pillows. (Chuckles)

Victoria: He did?

Billy: Mm-hmm. He did.

Both: (Laugh)

Noah: Phyllis?

Phyllis: (Gasps) Noah! Oh, come here. Look at you. Oh, my gosh! Wow, you're all grown up. When did this happen?

Noah: Just today. Well, the getting here, not the growing up.

Phyllis: Yes, of course. Of course. I was so--

Noah: How are you doing?

Phyllis: I'm good.

Noah: That's great.

Phyllis: I'm really good. Summer's gonna be so happy to see you. She's at Victoria’s.

Noah: Yeah, she's gonna be more excited to see all the stuff I brought her, so...

Phyllis: Oh, good. Good. Where's Eden?

Sharon: Ready?

Nick: Ooh, yeah, let's go for the chocolate.

Sharon: Yeah.

Jack: Gee, I hope this sour mood isn't about the hedge fund. I mean, I put my money in good hands-- yours, that is-- not the weasel’s.

Skye: We all know you hate Adam, Jack. It's not news. And it's not all that interesting.

Jack: No, it isn't, is it? You know what is interesting? What you're doing with him. Yeah. This guy is a carbuncle on humanity's backside, a freak who tortured my sister, and I can't, for the life of me, figure out what you're doing with him. Is this like those reality show contestants who go off to exotic countries, insult each other and eat bugs for dinner? Or to see how much you could torture yourself without running?

Skye: I never run.

Jack: Oh, then you pride yourself on your ability to put up with a jackass.

Skye: I take pride in a lot of my abilities.

Jack: Well, you deserve a lot more than whatever that yutz brings to the table. Look at you. You're gorgeous. You're intelligent, ambitious, voracious. These are all great qualities in my book. And Adam... Adam is a loser. Adam would not be where he is without you.

Skye: Thanks. But I came down here to get my mind off Adam.

Jack: A worthy mission. Gee, I wish I could help, but I don't know how.

Skye: Oh, I'm sure you could think of something.

Jack: Check, please.

Phyllis: Well, this is so great that Noah’s back. It's terrific. You must be so excited.

Nick: Yeah, we are.

Phyllis: Your whole family's back together. That's great.

Sharon: Yeah.

Phyllis: Well, I have a lot to do. I'll see you later, okay? We'll talk.

Noah: Okay.

Phyllis: All right. Have a great evening.

Adam: First the club, now here. Don't you ever go home, Phyllis? Or is your, uh, big, empty apartment just too big and empty now?

Phyllis: Oh, Adam, look over there. Oh, my gosh.

Nick: (Clicking tongue)

Phyllis: (Clicks tongue) Yeah, just take it all in. Just take it all in.

Mac: Pizza. Let's order some pizza.

J.T.: You hate pizza. Remember? You ate so much of it when you were pregnant, you got sick of it?

Mac: That's true. I did. I did. I did. I got sick of pizza because I craved it all the time, and I ate it all the time when I was pregnant...

J.T.: (Chuckles)

Mac: And now I need pizza.

J.T.: Look, I don't think it works that fast.

Mac: Well, I have a craving, and a feeling, and I-I vote it worked. I think we're pregnant.

J.T.: Okay, well, look. I'm gonna reserve judgment until I see that little stick, but in the meantime...

Mac: Mm-hmm?

J.T.: Practice makes perfect.

Mac: Mm.

Reed: Mommy! I'm thirsty!

Summer: I have to go to the bathroom!

Victoria: Oh, we'll be right there!

Billy: Yeah, yep, you guys stay there. We're--we're--we're comin' up the--right--

Victoria: God, they were asleep ten minutes ago.

Billy: Yeah, okay, all right. Tell you what, you give 'em water and a potty run, and I can go to sleep, and I can make my meeting in the morning. What do you think?

Victoria: Oh...

Billy: I'll give you 5 bucks.

Victoria: You know what? You're right. You are so right. You work so hard, and you really do need your sleep.

Billy: Thank you.

Victoria: You can get the damn water.

Billy: Fine. You can do the potty run. (Grunts) We are so edgy.

Victoria: (Laughs)

Billy: (Growls)

Victoria: Aah!

Billy: (Laughs)

(Door opens)

Jack: Wow. Rotten timing, Junior. Nice to see you, Skye.

Adam: (Sighs) You didn't listen to a damn thing I said, did you?

Phyllis: (Thinking) Pride is a hell of a thing-- one of the seven deadly sins, which would be a bad thing. But on the other hand, pride's supposed to be good-- pride of ownership, team pride. Have some pride, why don't you, you little pathetic twit? Okay, maybe I just think that last one about a few special G.C.'ers. But pride can make you settle for status quo when you want a whole lot more. Pride can convince you you rate, when really, you're not squat. Pride can make you flip off someone in an ass-backwards way. And I'm all for that... as long as it doesn't bite you in the end. Or you can swallow your pride until you choke on it and vow to never, ever do it again. Let me tell you, Buckaroos, this cowgirl's pride is now shiny and hard and good as new. But some other folks--

Nick: (Making silly sounds)

Sharon: I got you!

Phyllis: (Thinking) Pride goeth before the fall, and that first step is a doozy.

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Nina: You told her, didn't you?

Kevin: Feel however you're feeling for as long as you need to feel that way. You don't have to pretend around me.

Ashley: Trust your instincts, Tucker. I do.

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