Y&R Transcript Tuesday 5/25/10 -- Canada; Wednesday 5/26/10 -- U.S.A.

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Episode # 9406 ~ That Didn't Happen

Provided By Eric
Proofread By Emma

Jill: I'm just checking in on my favorite Chancellor junior exec. Oh, you're welcome. Yeah, that bag did look like you. So anyway, I heard there was something brewing between Tucker and the Newmans. What do you know about that?

Billy: A Louis Vuitton handbag. Mom, how is this a business expense?

Jill: (Quietly) It's for my source, and she's on the line. Now go away.

Billy: Well, your source better--

Jill: (Normal voice) Margaret, sorry, what were you saying now?

Rafe: Hey, Billy, you got a sec?

Billy: Yeah, anything to get away from "The hand." (Clears throat) She makes me feel like I'm 6 years old.

Rafe: So, uh, I've been in touch with the Jamaican authorities about your annulment. It's slow going, though.

Billy: Yeah, well, it's the island time. It's kinda great, huh?

Rafe: Yeah, unless you're trying to get an annulment.

Billy: Right.

Rafe: But I am-- I am working on it.

Billy: Great, man. That’s... good.

Rafe: Unless, of course, you don't want me to bother. You and the missus can stay married.

Billy: (Chuckles) I tell you what, Victoria already has her lawyer working on it, so you need to keep up with him. Otherwise, you're gonna make me look like a slacker.

Rafe: Mm.

Reed: Mommy!

Victoria: (Gasps) Baby! What are you doing here? Oh! Are you here with your dad? Mwah, mwah, mwah! Mm, mm!

Tucker: So how's your boy little Reed doin'?

J.T.: Well, he's, uh, he's good. Thank you for asking.

Tucker: I'm glad to hear it. You know, kids need stability. It's better for him to be with you all the time. I'm happy for both of you. So any progress on that assignment?

J.T.: Yeah, listen, uh, about the, uh, Newman/Mitsukoshi deal, it's, uh, it's not gonna be easy to get that information.

Tucker: Which is why you're the only man for the job.

Kay: Um, do you have time to sit?

Daniel: (Sighs) Do I have a choice? I haven't seen you around much since, uh...

Kay: Amber left? Have you two been in touch? Sit down.

Daniel: A couple of texts. (Sighs)

Kay: (Sighs)

Daniel: It just makes it harder.

Kay: Hmm.

Daniel: The quiet's better for now.

Kay: Well, I've had a rather long e-mail from her, and said she wakes up every morning hoping that this is the day you will change your mind, that this will be the day that you show up on her doorstep.

Ashley: I just can't get over this. It's so absurd. Abby's suing us for her inheritance.

Victor: Bet you one thing, when Brad Carlton left her that money, he didn't expect her to finance a reality show with it.

Ashley: Oh, I guarantee you, when Brad and Colleen gave her this inheritance, this is the last thing they expected.

Victor: (Sighs) I can have my legal team dismantle her case. But I'd rather she come to her senses by herself.

Ashley: Victor, I mean, really. After a naked protest, $85,000 necklace, a lawsuit, I mean, what else? Oh, yeah, plans for a reality show? She's having too much fun. She's not gonna stop now.

Victor: Do you think we have indulged her too much? I think I have. I know I have spoiled her. But something about this bothers me. There's something more to it. She's being so utterly disrespectful and unreasonable. I have the feeling someone put her up to it.

Abby: I was supposed to receive the first installment of my inheritance from Brad and Colleen, $3 million.

Jack: (Stammers) Your mom just wouldn't sign off on it?

Abby: I-I--plus, Dad won't let me collect on the trust fund that he set up for me. Well, a-as if that's not bad enough... (Scoffs) They've cut off my credit cards. I'm on, like, a financial time-out, like I'm a little kid or something.

Jack: Do you think that has anything to do with your recent trench coat performance on Viewclick?

Abby: (Sighs)

Jack: You do know how to make news, Kid.

Abby: That's what I did, so if you want to lecture me, just--

Jack: No, no, no, no. I'm not lecturing. I'm just-- I'm just pointing out something. I--you don't seem yourself lately.

Abby: Well, that's not true. This is adult goal-oriented me. Mom and Dad just resent my independence, like I can't go into business without them.

Jack: W-wait, you're going into business?

Abby: Television. You can invest with me, and I'll make us millions.

Jack: (Sighs) You know what's coming?

Daniel: Did Amber send you after me?

Kay: No, strictly my idea. You two love each other. I just thought I would make sure that you've thought this through.

Daniel: Well, no offense, but all I've done is think about this. A-and what I don't understand is how come no one can see it from my side?

Kay: Then, Daniel, help me to understand.

Daniel: Amber asked me to be a father. She asked me to raise a child. We didn't go from--from, you know, starting with a plant, and then moving on to a kitten. She wanted me to play daddy to this kid that was, like, this far away from being a teenager.

Kay: Well, I can see you've thought about this a lot.

Daniel: Yeah, and you know, call me crazy, but in order to be a good parent, don't you have to want to be a parent first? Amber may think that she wants me out there to show up on her doorstep, but what's best for her and for Eric is for me to stay right here.

Kay: Daniel, I understand that feeling. Truly, I do. There was a time the idea of sacrificing any part of my life to raise a child was laughable. It was absurd. But let me tell you something, I cannot say I have no regrets.

Tucker: You're the best. You wouldn't have been head of security at Newman if you didn't have the goods. Now I know you can get the lowdown on this deal.

J.T.: Well, yeah, like, I can get the public records, the S.E.C. filings.

Tucker: No, my second string's already covered those bases. I'm looking to you for a creative way to get information out of Newman. That's why I brought you onto my team.

J.T.: Because I was a Newman.

Tucker: Well, not only that, but because you work with Paul Williams, all your other experience. Listen. You don't have any illusions about business. You know that sometimes, it's necessary to roll up your sleeves and get messy. You know, just like you did when you fought for custody of your son.

J.T.: Which you helped with.

Tucker: I wouldn't leave you hanging any more than you would me. Now when I told you to get the specs on the Mitsukoshi deal, I knew you'd come through for me. I can't wait to see what you come up with.

J.T.: (Sighs)

Jill: Yeah, maybe next time, Margaret. Enjoy the purse.

Billy: Tell me that overpriced accessory got us something we can use.

Jill: I should have given her a key chain. Nothing. I got nothing about Chancellor I can use.

Billy: (Clears throat)

Jill: I'm telling you, there is something going on between Newman and McCall.

Billy: Well, step up your game, Woman.

Jill: You're the one who told me to ignore the Newmans. You've been to that well, and all that. And now it's, "Get me this story!" What is up with this?

Billy: (Clears throat) Excuse me, uh, $350 for lunch at the Athletic Club? Mom, did you get the diamond burger or the solid gold bun?

Jill: Baby boy, I will personally pay that bill if you tell me why you're suddenly so interested in the Newmans again.

Victoria: Oh, you're with Mac again. How fun.

Reed: Can I go play with the trains?

Mac: Yeah, of course.

Victoria: Yeah, go have fun. (Clears throat)

Mac: I know that this must be difficult, and I-I really wish that this-- that it could be different for everybody.

Victoria: Yeah, well, it's very easy for you to be generous since you get to spend more time with my son than I do. Yeah, it must be very fulfilling for you. He's a great kid. He's smart, and he's sweet, and he's affectionate. And you-- you have this whole "Mother Earth" nurturing thing down pat, don't you? What with spending so much time with my son and carrying Lily's twins. But... ultimately, you don't know how a mother really feels.

Mac: The twins are none of your business. As for Reed, yeah, I get a kick out of him. I like spending time with him, and whatever I can do to make J.T.'s life a little easier, accommodate him, I'll do.

Victoria: I'll bet you accommodate J.T. all the time.

Mac: J.T. and I are friends.

Victoria: Oh, right. Such good, good friends.

Mac: Why do you even care? You've moved on. Billy made that clear.

Victoria: What did-- what did he say to you?

Mac: He gave you an alibi for the night Adam died. Beyond that, trust me. I-I don't want to know.

Victoria: (Sighs) Oh, hi, Honey. (Chuckles) Oh, how were the trains? Were they cool?

Reed: Cool.

Victoria: Yeah? Do you want to show me?

Mac: Actually, J.T.'s expecting him at home now.

Victoria: Oh. Okay, well, that's okay. Um, we can look at the trains later, some other time, okay? I love you.

Reed: I love you, too, Mommy.

Victoria: Mm, good night.

Reed: Good night.

Rafe: Vick, hey.

Victoria: Oh, hi. Uh, what are you doing here?

Rafe: Well, I-I can't spend all my time on Jamaican annulments.

Victoria: Oh. Billy hired you.

Rafe: He hasn't told you?

Victoria: No, of course he has. Uh, he told me that he was moving forward with your help. Why wouldn't he? I mean, not why wouldn't he move forward. Why wouldn't he, um, why wouldn't he tell me? Which he did tell me.

Rafe: Okay, well, uh, then I should probably coordinate with your attorney. You're using Michael Baldwin?

Victoria: Uh, no. No. No.

Rafe: Okay, uh, then who?

Victoria: You know, I've just-- I've been really busy. (Chuckles)

Rafe: You don't have an attorney yet?

Victoria: I will have them contact you by the end of the day. How about that? I, um, I have, uh, I'm busy, so bye-bye.

Jill: It's really not that complicated. You know, you say, "No more Newman stories," and now it's, "What do you have on Newman and McCall?" I'm just curious.

Billy: You know, curiosity is good, Mom. It makes you a born journalist.

Jill: One halfhearted suck-up doesn't answer the question.

Billy: (Sighs) Look, I respect you. I say, "The Newman angle-- it's old. It's tired. It's boring." And you say, "No, wait a minute. Add Tucker to the mix. Something's going on. Could be a deal. It could be Tucker trying to stick it to the Newmans. Could be the other way around." But anyway, if you say people are interested in it, Mom, I'm all for it. Good stuff.

Jill: That's a much better suck-up. It still doesn't answer the question.

(Cell phone rings)

Billy: (Sighs) (Grumbles) Ahh.

Jill: God.

Billy: Hello?

Jill: Tell him you'll call him back.

Billy: What was that gesture you gave to me earlier? Oh, yeah. It was like... oh, yeah, that. Look at that. It works. I like this. Thank you. Talk to me. What's going on?

Kay: And I've certainly had enough time to consider the decision in not raising that child. Would it have affected other people? Cost me my business? Affected my relationships?

Daniel: Okay, but that was your kid.

Kay: (Sighs) Raising a-a child, giving birth to a child is not what caused this turmoil. Rejecting him did. Daniel, blood is not what connects you to your father. And--it's love. And Danny has certainly proved more than that.

Daniel: Yeah, absolutely. You know, let's go with that. Let's go with that right there. Danny loved me. He fought for custody for me. He got it, and you know what? I still--I spent half my childhood with nannies and in hotel rooms and on tour buses.

Kay: Well, do you plan on becoming a musician and going on the road?

Daniel: No, but if somebody offered me a gallery show in Berlin, I'd go. I'd do it, because I can. Because I'm not responsible for anyone.

Kay: (Sighs) Somehow you have this vision of family life as, uh, some sort of a '50s throwback. You're not--that is not you, nor is it Amber, either. The two of you could just make it up as you go along. And you--you'd do it together.

Daniel: (Sighs) Why does everyone care about this so much?

Kay: Well, if you mean Kevin and me and--and, um, everybody else who loves you and Amber, that's why. Don't you realize you could have everything even better than you dreamed?

Daniel: No, we can’t. Not anymore.

Kay: Mm-hmm. Well, then I would suggest you call or write her one last time, because I would certainly hate to think that Amber's just hanging around waiting for you to show up... (Chuckles) If it's never going to happen.

Victor: I guess we're going to have to rein our daughter in without alienating her.

Ashley: We definitely can't give her the money.

Victor: No, we can’t. If she finances the reality show with that, my God, what would that do to our family?

Ashley: Do you remember that producer she mentioned the other day? I bet he just zeroed right in on her. He probably told her what a beautiful girl she is, how he could make her a star. And you know what people like that do to girls like her?

Victor: Mm-hmm.

Ashley: They exploit them. They humiliate them. You know, she's-- she's always gonna be my baby girl.

Victor: And I will not allow anyone to exploit her. I will protect her.

Ashley: From herself?

Victor: I'm gonna make sure that she drops the case before it goes to court.

Ashley: I hope so.

Victor: Yeah.

Ashley: I mean, this is the kind of thing that just tears families apart.

Abby: As producer, we own a huge portion of the product.

Jack: "We"?

Abby: We'd make money off the advertising, licensing, merchandising. See? That is what George Lucas did. He kept the merchandising from "Star Wars," and now he's a trillionaire.

Jack: So you're comparing your show to "Star Wars." Well, you gotta aim high.

Abby: (Chuckles) It's all about branding. I am my own brand.

Jack: And what is that brand?

Abby: Smart, young, rich, with a social responsibility.

Jack: "Naked without fur."

Abby: Or maybe dolphins. I mean, they can talk. We should protect them from the fishing industry.

Jack: Phone applications, games, advertising, tie-ins.

Abby: Well, you know, TV is all about reality now. It's cheap to produce. It brings in major returns. If this was a face cream, you would be crazy not to make it.

Jack: Unfortunately, a face cream does not destroy a family's credibility... unless Gloria is involved.

Abby: I'm, like, the only Newman who hasn't been arrested recently.

Jack: (Chuckles)

Abby: And as far as the Abbotts go, Mom is at Jabot. It's perfect for product placement if I could ever get her involved. Come on, Uncle Jack. Invest in the new "It girl," Abby Newman.

Jack: Kiddo, your families have never been strangers to the news. You just have never had to take the heat. You put yourself out there, there is no privacy, no holds barred, nothing they can't do, nothing they won't ask.

Abby: It's not like privacy exists for anybody anymore. I mean, come on, there are cameras at the gas station, at the A.T.M. (Stammers) Credit card companies. They know all of our ugly secrets. And you--you are being taped as we speak.

Jack: Where is your camera crew?

Abby: Oh, uh, next table over. Lipstick camera, shotgun mike on his lap. Because everyone will want to know how a scrappy heiress gets what she wants.

Mac: Let me guess, "One more book, Daddy"?

J.T.: Yeah. And then he fell asleep before I could say no. Thanks for waiting.

Mac: Oh, of course. You seemed pretty wound up when we got here.

J.T.: Well, I'm just ready for this day to be over.

Mac: Well, if you want, I can put my bartender hat on, and you can tell me everything.

J.T.: (Chuckles) Well, it turns out that I didn't get custody of my son because I'm such a great dad. Tucker pulled some strings.

Mac: With the court?

J.T.: Yeah, and, uh, now he wants me to show my gratitude. Let's just say Newman Enterprises is involved and leave it at that.

Mac: Did he come right out and say you owe him?

J.T.: Well, not in so many words.

Mac: He threatened you?! Tell him to go to hell.

J.T.: No, no, no. He didn't threaten me. That's--that's not Tucker. It's just--this is just how he operates.

Mac: Oh, it sounds like Victor.

J.T.: Yeah, which is why I couldn't wait to get out of Newman. (Sighs)

Mac: What have you done about this assignment?

J.T.: Well, I, uh, went over to Victoria's, tried to get some information when she wasn't around.

Mac: J.T.

J.T.: And I don't know if I should have been pissed off or relieved when Billy interrupted.

Mac: He just waltzed right in when she wasn't there? I don't think he was there on business.

Billy: Look at you. No disguise? You know, somebody could have seen you come in here.

Victoria: Yep, well, then I'd have to kill 'em, wouldn't I?

Billy: Is that a joke? Did--did you just make a joke? Oh, my goodness. I thought you left all the funny in Jamaica.

Victoria: Maybe I'm not joking.

Billy: Another joke! Oh, wow! Wow, look at "Ms. Funny Bones."

Victoria: (Sighs)

Billy: Or should I say "The Missus"?

Victoria: Would you stop it, okay? 'Cause I'm mad at you. I got totally ambushed by Rafe. You didn't tell me that he was handling our annulment.

Billy: I tried to yesterday when I went by your house.

Victoria: Well, they have this thing called, uh, it's new. It's called the telephone.

Billy: Oh, yeah, well, I ran into J.T. instead.

Victoria: What?

Billy: Yeah, he was going through your computer.

Victoria: Well, he never said anything about that. What--why would he-- why would he go through my computer?

Billy: Mm, beats me. Something for Reed, allegedly. I don't know.

Victoria: Um, wait a minute. If you saw J.T., then was J.T.-- did he see you?

Billy: Well, I wasn't the one snooping.

Victoria: Oh, my gosh. Okay, so you just walk into my place, and J.T. knows, and--

Billy: I-I think you're missing the point.

Victoria: No, the point is, this whole marriage annulment thing is supposed to be hush-hush. No one's supposed to know about it, except you go tell your pal Rafe.

Billy: My lawyer.

Victoria: Yes, but then you just walk into my place where anyone can see you.

Billy: Okay, how does that scream "Married on a beach in Jamaica"?

Victoria: Well, it's-- I don't know, but somebody could put it together if they wanted to.

Billy: Well, maybe your lawyer's gonna spill.

Victoria: No, he won't, or she.

Billy: Your lawyer has gender issues?

Victoria: No, I haven't hired one yet.

Billy: (Chuckles)

Victoria: I just decided that I don't want to hire Michael, or anyone that knows my family.

Billy: Mm-hmm.

Victoria: I'm being cautious. I'm just being cautious...

Billy: Yeah.

Victoria: Unlike you.

Billy: Oh, well, I've actually done something about the annulment, unlike you.

Victoria: Well, what you've done could actually screw us.

Billy: Ooh, careful there, little missy. You might get me all excited.

Victoria: Oh.

Billy: Tell me what you want. What do you want?

Victoria: I want new lawyers who can't accidentally out us.

Billy: (Sighs)

Victoria: So call Rafe. Tell him to drop the annulment.

Billy: Oh, yes, Ma'am.

Abby: It's not like privacy exists for anybody anymore. I mean, come on, there are cameras at the gas station, at the A.T.M. (Stammers) Credit card companies. They know all of our ugly secrets. And you--you are being taped as we speak. (Inhales) They got your good side. (Sighs)

Jack: I don't care what they got. I didn't sign a release form. You can't air that.

Abby: (Sighs) Well, I could blur out your face, but what fun would that be? Come on. You're not that mad.

Jack: I am a little annoyed. I'm also impressed, though. You clearly have the Abbott business instinct.

Abby: Exactly. Look, Mom and Dad are going to regret not backing me on this, but you're not gonna have any regrets, 'cause you'll invest.

Jack: Maybe.

Abby: That means yes. (Gasps)

Jack: No, that means maybe. I will read this. I will make a few phone calls.

Abby: And then it'll be yes.

Victor: Sweetheart?

Abby: Hi, Dad. Okay, well, I've gotta run. Catch you later. Bye.

Jack: Seen any good TV lately?

Victor: She just told you about her business plan?

Jack: She's a very clever young woman.

Victor: Did she also tell you that she's gonna sue for access to her trust funds?

Jack: Ballsy move.

Victor: One I'm sure she didn't think of herself.

Jill: Hi, Ashley, how are you?

Ashley: Hey, fine, thanks.

Jill: Oh, I'll bet you're better than fine. You've just been named C.E.O. of Jabot. You must have really impressed Tucker to land that job.

Ashley: It's a great position.

Jill: Mm.

Ashley: You of all people should know.

Jill: (Clicks tongue) Yep.

Ashley: I'm very happy.

Jill: Good.

Ashley: How are you doing? Keeping yourself busy since Billy let you go?

Jill: Mm. I've been, um, catching up on my life.

Ashley: Yeah?

Jill: In between worrying about Katherine. You know, Tucker must really have something on her for her to hand over Jabot to him like that. Don't you think?

Ashley: Interesting.

Jill: Yeah, it is. It's very interesting.

Ashley: No, I mean, it's interesting that you don't ask Katherine yourself. Unless, of course, you did, and she just wouldn't answer you.

Kay: Ahh, did I hear my name?

Ashley: Well, hello there.

Kay: Hello.

Jill: Oh, Katherine, you look fantastic.

Kay: Thank you.

Jill: How's Murphy?

Kay: Fishing. Oh, everybody's fine.

Tucker: What a vision. The three most glamorous...

Ashley: (Chuckles)

Tucker: Movers and shakers in this burg.

Jill: (Chuckles)

Kay: (Chuckles)

Tucker: Seems a shame I can only take one to dinner.

Jill: Oh, I don't know. There's a table for four right over there.

Ashley: Uh, we're gonna be talking business, you know? It wouldn't be very interesting for you, Jill. (Chuckles)

Jill: No, of course not.

Ashley: Well, anyway, shall we?

Tucker: Sure.

Ashley: Excuse us.

Jill: Mm.

Kay: Mm-hmm.

Kay: Um, oh, you have a little, uh...

Jill: What? Did I get it?

Kay: Oh, no, no, I'm sorry. I thought your fangs were showing for a minute.

Billy: Rafe... (Sighs) He's not in here. Why is my own lawyer not in my phone book?

Victoria: Maybe because he's a guy? So far, I only see about 10 million female names.

Billy: Are you jealous?

Victoria: Please.

Billy: Because you're the one who said call off the annulment.

Victoria: I said call off Rafe. Hire a new lawyer.

Billy: But continue with the annulment, correct? Because that would-- that would be genius, really, because if we ever do get back together, it won't be, like, boring marital sex. It'll be that single, hot, sticky, fun stuff.

Victoria: Yeah, like that's ever gonna happen again?

Billy: Okay. Oh, what was I thinking? "T" for "Torres." Yep, here he is. Rafe Torres, and I'm callin' him now. Okay, that's what I'm doing. You ready for more sordid affairs?

Victoria: No!

Rafe: Torres.

Billy: Uh, B--Abbott.

Rafe: What's up, Buddy? So I, uh, I ran into Victoria earlier, and, uh, she seemed to, uh, have no idea about this whole annulment thing.

Billy: Yeah, about that. Um, you're off the case, Buddy.

Rafe: No annulment. I'm stunned.

Billy: Easy with the sarcasm, okay?

Rafe: You don't want to do this. It's obvious.

Victoria: (Whispers) Listen. Uh, not that I recall very much, but I don't think that there was anything very boring about our marital romp.

Rafe: And, uh, I'm pretty sure that Victoria doesn't want to get the annulment, either.

Billy: What did you say? I can't hear you. There's a draft.

Rafe: You heard me.

Victoria: Hammocks can be so much fun, can't they?

Billy: What, are you insane?

Rafe: What?

Victoria: (Giggles)

Billy: Um, um, I said, how insane is it that she doesn't like me? I mean, me of all people. She can't stand me.

Rafe: Yeah, okay.

Billy: Um, anyway-- wow. Uh, we--we just don't fit, and, um, we have nothing in common, and we can't sand-- stand the sight of each other. And you just--just-- just send me a bill, all right? Thanks. Bye. Okay, come here. Mm.

Mac: It's just so weird-- thank you...

J.T.: Mm-hmm.

Mac: That Billy would show up at Victoria's like that.

J.T.: No, it's not weird, considering.

Mac: Reed told you we ran into Victoria at the bookstore?

J.T.: Yeah. Yeah, you know, I'm just glad he was okay about it, didn't ask to go home with her.

Mac: Yeah. Well, no, she, um, clearly didn't want him going anywhere with me, though.

J.T.: Do you want me to talk to her?

Mac: No. God, no. I just thought you should know.

J.T.: (Sighs) Well, the reality is she doesn't really get to decide who Reed hangs out with.

Mac: But it's her territory.

J.T.: Reed is her son, but this is not her territory.

Mac: Okay, is it just me, or are we dancing around the real topic?

J.T.: We don't have to dance. I'm not married anymore. I like being with you. But maybe that's just me.

Mac: Are you fishing?

J.T.: I'm just saying.

Mac: Well, Chloe could tell, and Victoria could definitely tell.

J.T.: Tell what?

Mac: What I want.

J.T.: Which is?

Tucker: So how'd you like the announcement in the trades about you taking over at Jabot?

Ashley: What's not to like? Lots of compliments.

Tucker: It's all true. You're well-respected in the business world. Now that's gonna come in handy when we take Jabot to the next level... with Beauty of Nature.

Ashley: Really?

Tucker: Mm.

Ashley: You want to put 'em out of business?

Tucker: No, more like take 'em over.

Ashley: It's a Newman company.

Tucker: For now. But when we merge Jabot with Beauty of Nature, we'll dominate the market.

Ashley: You know, there's a fine line between being optimistic and being delusional.

Tucker: I know there's some hurdles. Victor, of course.

Ashley: You don't want to mess with him right now, Tucker.

Tucker: Yeah, well, he is a worthy opponent. I know that.

Ashley: (Sighs) And you just can't wait to go toe-to-toe with him, right? Right. (Sighs)

Tucker: What?

Ashley: I can’t... I can't deal with this right now. I have too much family conflict going on. I can't listen to the business bloodshed and all of it.

Tucker: Okay.

Ashley: I just--I just-- I can't do it.

Tucker: O-okay. No more business talk.

Ashley: I'm really sorry.

Tucker: No.

Ashley: I'm willing to reschedule.

Tucker: No, no. Hell, no. I don't want to reschedule. I'll tell you what I want to do. I want to get some champagne and relax. Does that work for you?

Ashley: Yeah, actually, it does.

Tucker: (Laughs)

Ashley: (Laughs)

Abby: Gin and tonic, please. Save your scowl. I'm legal. If you try to spank me again, I will shove my heel right up your--

Daniel: Here, uh, keep the change.

Abby: Come on. Why are you always in such a mood?

Daniel: Why are you in my way?

Abby: You drink alone. You look depressed again. It's like you're begging for someone to say, "You poor, tortured artist. Tell me all your deep, dark thoughts."

Daniel: Do you think maybe I just want to try and have a drink in peace without some twit in my face?

Abby: You'll be begging for my attention when I blow up.

Daniel: (Laughs) Oh, yeah. That's right. You're gonna be a big TV star, huh? A wild and crazy "Celebutante" all sassy and camera-ready and... (Yawns loudly) I'm sorry. What were we talking about? Oh, yeah, out-of-control you.

Abby: Right, well, it might bore you, but my parents are flipping out.

Daniel: That's 'cause they think your little act is for real.

Abby: (Laughs) Are you saying that I'm a fake? 'Cause I might have to spank you for that.

Daniel: (Chuckles) Cute. Someone write that for your show?

Abby: Yeah, because I'd waste a single second of airtime on you.

Daniel: Oh, that's right. You can edit out anything you don't like.

Abby: It's my own call.

Daniel: It's not like reality at all.

Abby: I'd cut this whole conversation. You really are depressing.

Daniel: And you're a punch line.

Abby: Laugh this off.

Victor: Refer them all to Fran Ortenberg in P.R. no, I don't want to deal with this now. I'll get back to you later. Thank you.

Jack: Sounds like the press is circling. Want to know what daddy thinks about "The Naked Heiress."

Victor: Maybe they'll soon enough come to Uncle Jack and ask what he thinks. If I were you, and for Abby's sake, I would stay clear of the situation.

Jack: You know what? Abby's her own woman. And if she asks for help, I may just help.

Victor: You mean the way you helped Colleen when you sent her into the lion's den at Newman Enterprises to do some dirty work for you because you were too cowardly? Is that it?

Jack: Unless it's to express your gratitude for saving your worthless life, do not bring Colleen's name up to me again, you got that?

Victor: I will do everything in my power to keep you away from my daughter. This reality show is a disgusting idea. (Sighs) And her now suing for access to her trust funds... she's obviously acting out.

Jack: Why, 'cause she doesn't buy your particular brand of parental disapproval?

Victor: She's going after me and after her mother. And if she pursues this idea, she'll put herself at risk. It wouldn't be the first time that you've turned one of my children against me.

Jack: Wait, who are we talking about now? Adam? Let's leave "The crispy critter" out of this, shall we? Look, your daughter is a beautiful, intelligent young woman with a mind of her own. And I know that drives you crazy. Ashley and Abby will always find their way back to each other. You on the other hand, well, I hope she gets her money and her TV show and whatever the hell else she wants. And then I hope she gets as far away from you as possible.

Victor: She is my daughter, and I don't give a damn how much you interfere. She will always come back to me.

Ashley: (Laughs)

Tucker: No, so I'm coolin' down.

Ashley: Oh, in a public fountain? I mean...

Tucker: No one else was around.

Ashley: (Laughs)

Tucker: I go to get my pants.

Ashley: No way.

Tucker: Mm-hmm.

Ashley: No.

Tucker: Way. Way. My pants are gone.

Ashley: (Laughs)

Tucker: They're gone! I'm lookin' all over the place. I see this monkey. He's holdin' up my pants. He's wavin' 'em around.

Ashley: Uh-huh.

Tucker: He's got this big grin on his face. It's like he's sayin', "You may be a billionaire, Buddy, but you're buck naked now."

Ashley: Mm.

Tucker: You don't believe me?

Ashley: I don't know.

Tucker: I have pictures-- of me, not the monkey.

Ashley: (Laughs)

Tucker: (Laughs)

Kay: There they are again.

Jill: Shut up, Katherine. I don't have fangs, and I am not jealous.

Kay: But you are riveted.

Jill: I am not riveted. I am curious.

Kay: Why?

Jill: It's none of your business.

Kay: Don't do it, Jill. No more hit pieces on Tucker.

Jill: Take a good look, Katherine. "Sonny boy" there doesn't need your kind of protection.

Tucker: (Laughs)

Ashley: (Laughs)

Tucker: It is. (Laughs)

Ashley: (Laughs) Okay.

Abby: (Sighs) This gets cut, too. Tomorrow, it never happened.

Daniel: Don't flatter yourself. It's not happening now.

J.T.: (Sighs) I wish you could stay.

Mac: No! (Sighs)

J.T.: That's okay if you don't want to. It's fine.

Mac: No, no, I-I-I do. Uh, it--it's just... (Chuckles) It's--I-I shouldn't--

J.T.: You--you yelled it, actually, said no, and you kinda yelled it, so I, uh...

Mac: Right, I just-- I shouldn't stay because of Reed, and because it's been years since you've seen me like that, and--and it's been twins.

J.T.: You're beautiful.

Mac: (Laughs) I am huge.

J.T.: You're beautiful.

Mac: I'm hormonal.

J.T.: You're beautiful.

Billy: And that skirt? I hate that skirt.

Victoria: It's really not so very funny anymore.

Billy: Who's being funny? And if I see that bra ever again, Mrs. Abbott, it is gonna be too soon.

Victoria: (Sighs) You have too many clothes on, Mr. Newman.

Billy: Mister--whatever. Come here. Mm. Mm.

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Daniel: We can try and figure out a way that we can you look after Eric, and you and me can still be together.

Jana: I was hoping that I could help you. Actually, that we could help each other.

Victor: Do you recognize this man?

Boy: That's Adam. He saved my dad's life.

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