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Episode # 9306 ~ Billy & Victoria Try to Remember New Year's Eve

Provided By Eric
Proofread By Emma

Billy: (Groans, sniffles) Oh, man. Where the hell is this from? (Laughs)

Victoria: Come on. Walk.

Billy: Hey, take it easy.

Victoria: Jeez. Do I have to carry you?

Billy: Take it--so pushy.

Victoria: (Sighs)

Billy: I can't find my key.

Victoria: Well, you should have done that in the car.

Billy: Well, I don't... where the heck is it?

Victoria: Hurry. It's freezing. I'm freezing my butt off here.

Billy: It's-- (laughs)

Victoria: Oh, that's funny.

Billy: I had it in my hand the whole time.

Victoria: I'm glad that you find that so amusing. That's great.

Billy: I don't know which key it is.

Victoria: Give them to me.

Billy: I-I--

Victoria: Can't open your own door. Let me open the door.

Billy: Well, there is the Vicki I know and love. Give me this. Hee hee hee.

Victoria: Give it back.

Billy: Unh, unh! Ow! Ow! Yeah. Yeah. That's--that's where I got this. (Sighs)

Victoria: I can't find my scarf, and it's really bothering me. It was the one that Katherine gave me for Christmas. I can't find it so I'm looking, and I thought it was in the car, but I don't see it anywhere. And... what? Yeah. Fine, okay. (Sighs) Well, just tell Reed that I'll be home soon, all right? All right. Bye. You can lean on me, you know.

Billy: Look.

Victoria: Be careful. Can you see where you're going?

Billy: I see just fine...

Victoria: Well, I just don't want you to trip, that's all.

Billy: Just fine. I'm trying to find my key, lady.

Victoria: (Vibrates lips)

Billy: Just I don't know where--

Victoria: Need some help there, "Sparky"?

Billy: No, I just-- I'm not a total... it's in my hand.

Victoria: Yeah, that's cute.

Billy: It's in my hand. Yeah. It's--

Victoria: Can you just hurry up? 'Cause I'm freezing my butt off here.

Billy: I'm hurrying. I can't--which one is this?

Victoria: Give it to me. Obviously, you're in no shape to find the keyhole.

Billy: Bitch.

Victoria: Excuse me?

Billy: I said that's a switch.

Victoria: Oh, you mean me being nice to you after all the jerky things you've done? Yeah, okay. I'll go along with that, sure.

Billy: Just open the door.

Victoria: Hang on.

Billy: Okay? That's very nice. You know, that is not a very good color for you. I should just take this. Thank you very much.

Victoria: And thank you so much for the tip.

Billy: (Sighs)

Victoria: Got one for you. You should take two aspirin, 'cause you're definitely gonna need them. Here, let me help you.

Billy: (Groans)

Victoria: (Sighs) (Sighs)

Cane: All right, there's another pillow. Can you see the TV okay?

Lily: Yeah, I'm good.

Ashley: (Knocks on door) Hi. Am I interrupting?

Devon: Hey, how you doing?

Lily: Hey!

Neil: Hey, Ashley. Come on in. Right on time.

Ashley: Yeah? Well, I-I don't want to intrude on your family time. I just heard about your scare, Lily, and I wanted to see how you're doing.

Lily: Oh, I'm a lot better now. Thank you for asking.

Ashley: Yeah?

Lily: Yeah.

Devon: Yeah, we're hoping she'll be coming back home soon.

Ashley: Oh, that's fantastic news.

Devon: Yeah.

Lily: Yeah, so can you hang out for a while?

Ashley: Oh. Uh...

Cane: Game's about to start.

Neil: We've got so many munchies. Please don't say no.

Ashley: Well, it sounds like fun, actually. And--and if you don't mind, I mean, Faith is gonna be napping for a while, so sure.

Malcolm: Hey.

Ashley: (Gasps)

Malcolm: Room for one more?

Ashley: (Laughs) Hi! When--when--when did you get back?

Malcolm: Just got in the other day. It's great to see you, Ash.

Ashley: Great to see you, too. It's been--how long has it been?

Malcolm: Too long. (Chuckles)

Emily: (Sighs)

Jack: Hey.

Emily: Oh, hey.

Jack: What's all that?

Emily: Oh, I had a craving for guacamole, so I went to the store to get all the fixings, and plus, I'm making my famous chili.

Jack: Well, that sounds great. What's the occasion?

Emily: (Sighs) What's the occasion? You're pulling my leg, right? My boys are on the tube.

Jack: Your--oh! Oh! Football.

Emily: Yeah. Yes, football. You have to get used to it, Darling. Your woman's a sports nut. In fact, I'm glad we're getting married before March madness. You don't want to see how crazed I get during basketball season.

Jack: I didn't realize we'd already set a date.

Emily: Oh. I-I thought Valentine's Day. I hope that works for you.

Jack: It's perfect.

Emily: Mm. Okay. (Giggles)

Patty: Jack, Jack it won't be long and I will have you back, back, back Jack, Jack won't be long and I will have you back, back, back

Devon: Now nobody told me that you were gonna be here.

Neil: It's 'cause we didn't know.

Devon: Well, it's good to see you, man.

Malcolm: You, too, baby boy.

Devon: Yeah.

Malcolm: (Chuckles) So how you doing today?

Cane: I, uh, guess we're about to find out.

Man: Hey, I just need to check Lily's vitals if, uh, if you all wouldn't mind stepping outside just for a moment?

Ashley: Sure.

Malcolm: Not a problem.

Lily: Uh, my husband can stay.

Man: Sure.

Neil: We will be close by.

Lily: Okay.

Lily: (Sighs)

Cane: So it looks like things are still tense between your dad and Malcolm.

(Door closes)

Lily: Yeah, I'm not sure that'll let up anytime soon. And, of course, I'm in the middle of it. (Sighs)

Cane: This is not good.

Lily: Well, Cane, I'll deal. (Scoffs)

Cane: All right, listen to me. I don't want you having to deal with this, okay? I don't want any more pressure on you after what you're already going through.

Lily: Well, what else can I do short of banning them both from my room?

Man: All right, excuse me, guys. I just need to take her blood pressure here real fast.

Cane: Yeah, sure.

Man: Hi.

Lily: Hey.

J.T.: Here you go, Buddy. All right, so why would you be worried about Billy?

Mac: (Sighs) Well, he wasn't, uh, he wasn't in very good shape when he left last night, and he wasn't driving, but...

J.T.: I-I thought you were done being his keeper.

Mac: It's hard when there's no one else looking out for him.

J.T.: You're not calling Billy, are you?

Mac: Just to see if he's okay.

J.T.: Mac, don't, all right? Look, if anything happened to him, you would have heard by now. You're gonna have to cut the tie. Otherwise, he's gonna still think he has a chance.

Mac: (Sighs)

J.T.: Let Billy be somebody else's problem.

Billy: Oh, yeah. It's freezing.

Victoria: Uh, yeah. Well, no wonder its freezing. You're soaking wet.

Billy: (Grunts)

Victoria: How long were you out there on the sidewalk for?

Billy: I broke Delia's globe.

Victoria: What?

Billy: She's not gonna forgive me.

Victoria: What globe? What are you babbling about? Just put your feet in the car, please.

Billy: I missed her wedding.

Victoria: What? Look, uh, didn't you do this in high school-- pass out in the snow? How old are you?

Billy: I've got to make this up to her. I've got to make this--

Victoria: Of all the idiotic, stupid things-- could you move your arm so I can get this buckled? Could you move your arm? Just let me get this buckled. Then I can--what?

Billy: Hey. Hey, have you ever-- have you ever taken a good hard look at your life?

Victoria: (Sighs)

Billy: The path that you're on?

Victoria: (Sighs) Oh, God, now he's getting philosophical on me. Would you please just let me do this?

Billy: I-I'm serious. Have you?

Victoria: Right now, all I want to do is get you home and get you out of my car.

Billy: Why are you doing this? We hate each other.

Victoria: I wouldn't let you freeze to death out there.

Billy: Why not? No one would know.

Victoria: (Sighs) I would know. Besides, one of my new year's resolutions is to be kind to animals.

(Car door slams shut)

Billy: Wow. (Exhales)

Billy: (Sighs)

Devon: Oh! Tackle him!

Cane: Take him down. Take him down! Take him down!

Neil: Get him! Get him! Get him!

Announcer: ...Is gonna catch him and Peterson is in the end zone.

Neil: Oh!

Malcolm: Yeah! It's a touchdown! (Laughs)

Lily: Yeah! All right! Yeah!

Devon: Boo!

Malcolm: Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

Announcer: And it's another 6 points for Minnesota, and the capacity crowd here at the Metrodome is loving it!

Devon: Come on, guys.

Lily: That's right, they are.

Malcolm: Did you see that? Ah! You know? You know?

Neil: Ooh.

Devon: You know, it's good to see you smiling again, Lily. Good timing, man. I'm glad you're here.

Malcolm: Me, too. However I can help. (Sighs) A lot of years to make up for.

Ashley: Well, I bet my brothers are having a fit.

Neil: Oh, yeah. Jack's a serious Bears fan, huh?

Ashley: Oh, so is Billy.

Cane: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Longwell's gonna miss this. I can feel this. Watch this.

Malcolm: Oh, please, man. He could make that with his eyes closed.

Devon: No, that's his famous last words.

Lily: Okay, wait. Turn it up. Turn it up.

Announcer: The snap. There it goes!

Lily: Whoo! That's right!

Cane: Boo! Boo!

Malcolm: Got him.

Lily: I knew he would make that. I knew it! I knew it!

Announcer: And it's good! Putting the Viking's opponents down by only 24 points!

Billy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut up, you idiots! You're throwing it away. (Groans) Stupid football game. Great. Come on. What, do you think I'm gonna break it? I just--

Victoria: Just hol--hold on.

Billy: I need the heat.

Victoria: I know where everything is, okay? I can do it quicker.

Billy: (Groans) Gosh, O.C.D.

Victoria: (Sighs)

Billy: Are you this big of a control freak over everything?

Victoria: Is that better? Can you feel the warm air?

Billy: Yes. I--it's--I--

Victoria: All right.

Billy: Thank you. I can feel it. Thank you.

Victoria: Good. Good.

Billy: Gosh! I mean, I-- I don't know. Middle of the night going out of your way-- this is, um, it's-- I gotta say, it's--

Victoria: Incredibly nice of me. Yes, I know.

Billy: Hey, I can be nice, too, you know.

Victoria: (Sighs) Yeah.

Billy: I can! I promise! I'm a pretty nice guy.

Victoria: Uh-huh. Yeah, you're nice.

Billy: Uh, look, uh... (Scoffs) People misunderstand me, you know? I mean, I got some things I got to fix in my life, but, I mean, come on, who doesn't? You know what I mean? I-I-I'm-- I'm a pretty loveable guy.

Victoria: Yeah. You're a loveable guy who sprayed my personal life in the ugliest possible manner just to make a buck. (Sighs) Really nice, nice guy.

Billy: Okay. Maybe I'm not so nice to you, but I'm a pretty nice guy to everybody else. Oh, come on, Vicki. Think hard in that little O.C.D. brain of yours. You could think of something nice to say about me.

Victoria: For a drunk, you're fairly articulate.

Billy: That's true. Wait. That--that's all you got? That's it? (Groans) (Clears throat) (Sets glass on table) (Sighs)

Emily: Ooh! Why is the volume down?

Jack: Why do you think?

Emily: (Sighs) Oh. It's only an indirect ass-whupping. Not so painful.

Jack: Can I ask you something?

Emily: Yeah.

Jack: How can you be rooting for Minnesota when you're a die-hard Packers fan? Isn't that against the law or unconstitutional or something?

Emily: (Laughs) First of all, I'm from Minnesota. Second of all, Brett Favre is hot.

Jack: (Sighs)

Announcer: Quarterback sets up, has time...

Jack: Here we go.

Announcer: Fires it downfield. Oh, intercepted by Winfield!

Jack: No!

Emily: Oh, ho ho! Sorry! You were saying? (Laughs)

Jack: I was saying I can't wait to marry you.

Emily: (Sighs) Mm. Oh, my God. That's, um, six weeks away.

Jack: Yeah, not much planning time.

Emily: (Sighs) Ohh. Well, it doesn't have to be huge.

Jack: Well, how many people do you want to invite?

Emily: Well... (Sets glass down) You tell me. I don't know that many people here yet.

Jack: Well, Minneapolis isn't that far away. You can invite whoever you want.

Emily: Are you gonna be this agreeable when we're married?

Jack: I'm gonna try. Oh, here we go.

Emily: (Groans)

Jack: Okay, now hold them! Don't make it easy.

Emily: (Clears throat loudly) Oh, second and goal. They're on the 3? Straight over the top.

Jack: (Sighs)

Emily: (Laughs) It's not much of a challenge.

Jack: Yeah, if the defense holds, it's a challenge.

Emily: Oh. That's gonna do--

Jack: Time-out.

Emily: It's gonna be a quick turnaround for the invitations.

Jack: Yeah, well, we can always wait till June.

Emily: Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. I don't want to wait that long.

Jack: No, neither do I. That would be torture.

Emily: It would. (Sighs) I'm so glad you're okay with a Valentine's wedding.

Jack: You want me to book the Colonnade room for the reception? I can do that right away.

Emily: Oh. That place is huge, isn't it?

Jack: Or we could make it more intimate-- whatever you want.

Emily: Uh, no, that--you know what? That will be fine. That will be fine.

Jack: "But if I had my way, Jack..."

Emily: Oh, you're right. I've always wanted a fairy-tale wedding. I just, uh... (Laughs) Kind of gave up on it when I hit 30 and didn't meet my prince charming.

Jack: If it is fairy tale you want, it is fairy tale you're gonna get, no expenses spared. This is your first wedding. This is my last, and I want to make it everything you ever dreamed it could be.

Emily: Jack, you are... (Sets glass on table) (Sighs) The most wonderful man in the world.

Jack: Worth the wait?

Emily: So worth the wait. Mm. Mm! What the hell? No, no! That is holding!

Jack: (Laughs)

Emily: Throw in the flag! Oh, come on!

Patty: Pauly, Pauly, Pauly.

Paul: Oh!

Patty: Oh! I was waiting for the man to bring me some art supplies when they said I had a visitor.

Paul: Well, I hope you're not disappointed.

Patty: Mm, bite your tongue.

Paul: (Laughs)

Patty: I'm very happy to see you, Pauly.

Paul: Me, too.

Patty: Oh, hey. Happy New Year! (Giggles)

Paul: Happy New Year.

Patty: Remember-- remember the last time you were here, you said, "I'll see you next year"?

Paul: That's right. I did.

Patty: Yeah. Oh, God, it's gonna be a great year. (Giggles) Jack's and mine. I can hardly wait. (Sighs)

Paul: So, um, are you gonna make me a collage?

Patty: What about?

Paul: Oh, I don't know. It doesn't matter. Why don't you surprise me?

Patty: Okay. Whoo! You know what I was thinking about making mom? A, um, card, and, uh, I was gonna make, uh, Dr. P. an early Valentine's Day card to let her know how much I appreciate her and how she is the only doctor that I trust. Yeah. (Giggles)

Ashley: So I don't get what happened on that last play. I mean, the receiver caught the ball.

Cane: Yeah, but it was ruled out-of-bounds.

Ashley: Yeah, but that's because the Vikings player pushed him out-of-bounds. That's not fair.

Cane: It doesn't matter. Both have to--both feet have to be in balance when the ball's caught for it to count.

Devon: That's a new rule for this year.

Ashley: Well, I don't think I like that rule very much.

All: (Laughing)

Malcolm: Hey, everybody, while we got a minute, I just-- I just want to tell you all that I know I just kind of burst in out of nowhere, but I'm glad I did, and it's been really great reconnecting with everybody. (Sighs) I was gonna show this to Lily in private, but I think everybody will get a kick out of this.

Lily: (Laughs) What is it?

Malcolm: It's a homemade card you made me when you were about 5. I was on a shoot in Italy, and you were in Paris with Dru.

Lily: Well, what was it for?

Malcolm: Go ahead and read it.

Lily: "To my Uncle Malcolm, I miss you. Paris is good. Maybe you can come here. I love you, Uncle Malcolm. Love, Lily."

Malcolm: That drawing there with you and me on the front holding hands, I happen to know you did that all on your own.

Lily: I cannot believe you kept this for all this time.

Cane: Wow. And you folded it like origami, too.

Malcolm: (Laughs)

Neil: I'll be right back. (Sighs)

Devon: Hey, but the fourth quarter's almost over, man.

Neil: I said I'll be back.

Ashley: Uh, excuse me for a second.

Cane: (Sighs)

Devon: Uh, yeah, I think I'm gonna open some more bean dip.

Malcolm: Yeah, good stuff.

Devon: Mm-hmm.

Cane: Hey. Hey. Hey. You can't worry about Neil like that, okay? Your job is to get better.

Neil: You know, Ash, uh, there are very few people outside the family who know that Malcolm is Lily's father.

Ashley: No wonder there's so much tension between the two of you.

Neil: You know, I'm not threatened by Malcolm at all. I'm not. And he'll never take my place in Lily's heart. Still, I mean, I--the guy shows up out of nowhere, right, trying to ingratiate himself.

Ashley: Neil, you are and always will be Lily's dad, no matter what the D.N.A. test said. The minute they put that little baby in your arms, she was yours. No one can take that away from you.

Neil: Yeah, I know. Thanks. I need to hear that more often. Thank you for reminding me of that. I-I-- (Sighs) It's just, though, the one thing that really gets me more than anything now is the timing.

Ashley: Yeah, it puts a lot of pressure on Lily, doesn't it?

Neil: Oh, sure it does. I have been biting my tongue so my daughter doesn't see how upset I am.

Ashley: But she's very sensitive. I mean, she knows. And it can't be helping things. Can't you just explain that to Malcolm? I mean, I'm sure he'd understand.

Neil: (Sighs) I-I feel like a horrible person for wanting to ask him to leave, like I-I should just swallow my resentment so that my daughter can benefit from the extra support.

Ashley: Mm.

Neil: But it's-- it's not easy.

Ashley: You're not a bad person. You really aren't. You're a very loving father. You know what? There's gonna be the right time and place for you and your brother to work through this, but it's not now while Lily's fighting for her life.

(Cell phone rings)

Billy: (Groans) (Grunts) Aah. What? This is Billy. Oh, I said online that Jack got engaged? Oh, y-yeah, I stand by it. No, I didn't forget. You just--you caught me in the middle of a--in-- no, if they want to find out more, they can buy a copy of "Restless Style." I'm not in this for charity. Thank you. Yep. (Groans) (Scoffs) (Inhales sharply) (Groans) Oh. (Sighs)

Victoria: Wh-where's, uh, where's your thermostat? I'll turn up the heat.

Billy: You got to light the pilot first.

Victoria: What pilot?

Billy: (Sighs) It's the propane tank. It's alongside the trailer.

Victoria: Wait a minute. Outside? In this cold?

Billy: (Groans) Just relax, Princess.

Victoria: Oh. (Scoffs)

Billy: I'll do it, okay? I can do it. I'll--you just--you go. I-I just--I have to do--

(Thud)

Billy: Aah!

Victoria: Oh. Oh, God. Are you okay?

Billy: Yeah, I'm fine. I just--

(Thud)

Billy: Ow!

Victoria: W-would you please just sit, okay? I'll take care of it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I don't want to have to-- I don't want to have to pour you into the emergency room.

(Knock on door)

Billy: Go away. (Sighs)

(Knock on door)

Billy: I'm coming! (Sighs) You left your scarf.

Victoria: I forgot my scarf.

J.T.: Sure you don't want a refill?

Mac: No, thank you. I have been O.D.'ing on herbal tea ever since I found out I was pregnant.

J.T.: (Laughs) I remember Vi-Victoria drank that when she was pregnant. You got any other cravings?

Mac: No, not really. Not this time. The first time that I was pregnant...

J.T.: Hey, it's all right. We can talk about it.

Mac: I still regret the way I handled it, not telling you until after.

J.T.: We were young, you know? Although I-I do wonder sometimes what might have been. Well, I wonder what's keeping Victoria. She should be here by now.

Billy: I appreciate the ride home last night. (Sighs)

Victoria: Yeah, sure thing.

Billy: Did I thank you properly? I don't really remember a lot from last night.

Victoria: You were your usual charming self, just drunk on top of it.

Billy: Yeah, that's what I thought. Hope I didn't say anything that would get me in trouble.

Victoria: Well, if you did, you'll read about it online. I'll make sure of that.

Billy: Yeah, I deserve every crummy little thing that's coming to me, as I'm sure I was reminded many times last night.

Victoria: Ooh! (Shivers) (Sighs) (Scoffs) You look like something out of a Dickens novel-- make that Edgar Allan Poe. (Shivers) Here. Here.

Billy: (Coughs) Thank you.

Victoria: (Sighs) You should warm up soon. (Sighs) Is there anything else? 'Cause I'm leaving.

Billy: What happens to people anyway?

Victoria: What do you mean?

Billy: My priorities are all screwed up.

Victoria: You're just now realizing that?

Billy: Well, with me, I come first, money comes second, and everybody else, they're just somewhere out there. I do whatever I damn well please and people get hurt, and it's too bad, so sad. No wonder people can't stand me. (Sighs)

Victoria: Sounds sort of like an apology.

Billy: I should have never written that garbage about you and Deacon Sharpe... even though it was true. (Laughs) I should have never published it. I'm sorry.

Victoria: You know, those articles, they really messed things up for me. (Sighs) (Clears throat) You knew that, but that didn't stop you.

Billy: You could have stepped right over me on that sidewalk. I wouldn't have blamed you. But you didn't. And I feel like the world's biggest jackass, so...

Victoria: You know, you're just drunk enough, I believe you're sincere. Yeah, everybody knows what a jerk you are.

Devon: Well, you can't fault Lily for falling asleep. It wasn't much of a game.

Malcolm: Well, unless you're a Vikings fan.

Devon: Yeah.

Ashley: That was still a lot of fun. Thank you so much for including me.

Neil: I had a good time.

Devon: See you.

Cane: Uh, hey, Malcolm? Would you mind if we just had a word for a minute?

Malcolm: Yeah, what's up?

Cane: Um... okay, listen. It is--it's obvious, okay, how much you love Lily. And, look, I appreciate you being here for her and what--what that means, okay? But I think it's putting a lot of stress on her having to walk around like she's on eggshells when you and Neil are in the room together.

Malcolm: Well, that wasn't the intent.

Cane: Yeah, yeah. I know that. I do. I know that's not the intent, but the problem is that, you know, I-I-I appreciate what you are doing by being here for her, but, you know, have-- making her feel-- you know what I'm saying here?

Malcolm: Um, I hear you, but, uh, since Neil is the one with the problem...

Cane: Right.

Malcolm: Maybe you should be talking to him.

Cane: You see, I'm talking to you about this, all right? And, look, I am just asking you this, all right? Ask yourself the question-- are you here for Lily, or are you here because you need to come to terms with your own guilt?

Malcolm: Of course I'm here for Lily. She's my blood, all right?

Cane: Okay.

Malcolm: I have a right to be here, and she wants me here.

Cane: Okay, all right. Well, you know what? I just don't think that's entirely true.

Neil: All right, guys, what's the problem? What's going on?

Cane: It's--its cool.

Malcolm: Cane here seems to think that my being here is a detriment to Lily somehow.

Neil: You see, that beautiful girl in there is dependent on us to help her survive, and what we don't need right now are distractions.

Malcolm: (Laughs) Are you-- are you actually asking me to leave?

Neil: Malcolm, yes, I think it would be best.

Cane: All right, listen, we can't force you to do anything, okay? I'm just asking-- well, and I'm hoping-- that you're just gonna put Lily's needs first. That's it.

Malcolm: (Sighs) Yeah.

Cane: (Sighs)

Emily: Mm. All right, if we're gonna have a bunch of kids, we'd better get started.

Jack: I've made more than my share of mistakes in the dad department, you know.

Emily: Yeah. Well, I'm glad I can give you another chance. (Giggles)

Jack: This has been kind of a roller-coaster year what with everything that happened with Sharon's baby.

Emily: Yeah, that must have been really hard, knowing that she wasn't yours and having to pretend because Sharon was so fragile.

Jack: Eh, it was more than the fates that kept me from being a father. I-I'm to blame for lots of it-- my own selfishness. Patty really wanted to have a baby.

Emily: Okay, but you weren't ready then. Now you are.

Jack: Now that I've met the mother of my future kids, yeah, it's a whole lot easier to imagine.

Emily: (Sighs) Mm.

Jack: (Inhales sharply) (Sighs)

Emily: (Sighs) The middle, he shoots,

(Cell phone rings)

Jack: Oh, I'm telling you, I kiss you, I hear bells.

Emily: (Laughs) Answer it. (Ring)

Jack: Oh, that's my phone. Jack Abbott. What article?

Emily: (Sighs)

Jack: No. No, no comment.

Emily: What's going on?

Jack: If Billy leaked our engagement, I swear, I am...

Emily: What--what--who was-- who was just on the phone?

Jack: That was a reporter asking for my comment... I don't believe this. "A big 'Restless Style' shout-out to Jack Abbott and Dr. Emily Peterson tying the knot. Good on you, Bro."

Emily: Oh, no.

Jack: I'm telling you, that kid, he-- I tell him something in confidence, and this is what he does.

Emily: What if Patty finds out?

Jack: Does she have access to the internet?

Emily: No, thank God.

Jack: Okay, then we're in the clear on that, but he is not. Look, I'm sorry to run out on you. I got to deal with this now.

Emily: No, it's fine. Go. Go, okay?

Jack: Okay.

Emily: (Sighs)

Emily: (Sighs) Hello, Paul.

Paul: Well, if you're answering the door, it must be true.

Emily: Come on in. What have you heard? (Sighs)

Paul: I don't suppose you have seen this, by any chance?

Emily: No. No, I didn't.

Paul: Um, where's Jack?

Emily: He, uh, just went out. You missed him.

Paul: Well, in that case, maybe you can tell me why this is in the local paper where anyone can read it, including Patty?

Emily: Okay, Jack and I never intended for this news to get out, not like this. I-I feel if Patty finds out--

Paul: Well, she sure as hell is not gonna find out from me. But I-I don't understand why you can't see the conflict here. You know, I just came from the hospital. Patty goes on and on about how much she trusts you and admires you. So you tell me, Doctor, do you really think it's fair to go on treating her when you have to keep hiding the truth about the man you're in love with?

Emily: No. You're right, Paul. This can't continue.

Billy: Anyway, thanks again. Hope I didn't ruin your night.

Victoria: No, it wasn't all bad. Here. Just let me help you.

Billy: I got it. I got it. I got--lady, I got it! Got--

Victoria: Just let me help you.

Billy: Ow! That's my ears! Ow!

Victoria: You know what? You're gonna strangle yourself with this shirt.

Billy: No, those are my ears. They're big.

Victoria: Now--I'm sorry. Okay, here, just--you got to--

Billy: Just stop--what-- what are you doing? I got it. Look. See?

Victoria: I'm just trying to help, that's all. I just--

Billy: Hi.

Victoria: (Laughs)

Billy: What's so funny? (Laughs)

Victoria: (Laughing)

Billy: (Laughs) I'm a little nutty sometimes. (Laughs sarcastically) Aah! Oh!

Victoria: (Sighs)

Billy: Give me this. This is mine.

Victoria: You think maybe you can be a good boy for the rest of the night? Come on, I--

Billy: Look. Look how pretty I am.

Victoria: (Sighs) Go to sleep. Good night.

Billy: Night.

(Door opens)

Victoria: Anyway, uh, see ya.

Billy: Yep. (Sighs)

Victoria: The boxer shorts, uh... (Clicks tongue) Great.

Billy: (Laughs)

Victoria: Very nice, very festive.

Billy: Yeah. (Clears throat) (Clicks tongue)

(Door closes)

Ashley: Did Malcolm say he was leaving?

Neil: Not in so many words. I think it took him by surprise.

Cane: Look, if Malcolm wants to come back when Lily's stronger, it's probably gonna be okay. It's just now, I...

Ashley: Well, I think you did the right thing.

Neil: Let's hope my brother can see that. He can be pretty stubborn sometimes.

Lily: Hey. So can I clear a room, or what? (Laughs)

Malcolm: Oh, it's--it's tough to stay awake when it's that lopsided.

Lily: (Laughs) No, it wasn't the game. I just get so sleepy, I can actually crash mid-sentence sometimes.

Malcolm: (Sighs) Yeah. I'm glad that you and I have a moment alone. Um... hey, Lily, um, is my being here in Genoa City, um... well, is my being here stressing you out? Is that how you feel? 'Cause if it is, I can-- I can take off and come back when you're up to a visit.

Lily: No. (Sighs) No. I-I--you know, I-- I'll admit, it has been, you know, awkward having you here and seeing you and my dad try to deal with each other. I don't want him to feel uncomfortable, but... at the same time, I do like having you here.

Malcolm: (Sighs) I was really hoping you'd say that.

Lily: (Giggles)

Malcolm: (Sighs)

Lily: I just wish that things didn't have to be so weird all the time, you know?

Malcolm: If having both of us here is gonna help you beat this cancer, then Neil and I are just gonna have to suck it up, make things work, maybe even heal some old wounds in the process.

Lily: (Sighs) That would be great. (Sighs)

Malcolm: (Chuckles)

Lily: (Giggles)

Victoria: Mwah! Wow, what a day. I'm dying for a latte.

J.T.: Yeah, I've had two since I've been sitting here waiting.

Victoria: (Sighs) Sorry. I didn't realize I'd-- I'd be so long.

J.T.: (Clears throat)

Victoria: I should have called. (Laughs)

J.T.: It's all right. It's all right. It's just, uh, it's just past his nap time, so we need to get him home. All right, you can, uh, ride with me, big guy, okay? Come here.

Reed: (Giggles)

J.T.: All right, we'll, uh, see you at home.

Victoria: Sure.

(Knock on door)

(Knock on door)

Billy: Okay, okay. Hey, Jack, I didn't expect to see you today.

Jack: Yeah, just like I didn't expect to hear from reporters today asking about my engagement to Emily.

Billy: Okay, about that--

Jack: And then I go pick up the paper in the driveway on my way to the garage, imagine my surprise.

Billy: Jack, I--oh.

Jack: We finally have a meaningful conversation, and you stab me in the back again.

Billy: Look, Jack, I-I-- I shouldn't have posted your news online. And--and I know it's too late to put the genie back in the bottle, but for what it's worth, Jack, I'm sorry.

Jack: If I didn't know better, I'd say you meant that.

Billy: Last night, I had a, uh, I don't know, an epiphany, of sorts. And I know how much family means to me now, and I want to be a better man.

Jack: Just like that?

Billy: Isn't there a way we can get past this? I'll do anything you want me to do, Jack. You name it and I will do it. I hate the way things are. I need my brother back.

Jack: It isn't that simple, Billy. After all the crap you've pulled, you can't just get a fresh start.

(Door opens)

Emily: When Jack and I were dating, I thought I could justify being Patty's doctor.

Paul: You know, I didn't agree then, and I don't agree now. My sister deserves better, Emily.

Emily: You're right. I can't agree with you more. I will go see Patty and break the news that I can't be her doctor any longer.

Patty: (Humming) (Giggling) La la oh. Hmm. (Breathing heavily) (Grunts) (Screaming) (Sobbing)

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Ashley: It's just Faith and me. Why don't you and Sharon move in here?

Emily: I am going to talk to Patty.

Jack: Wait, to tell her?

Emily: Well, that would be the second-worst thing I could do.

Patty: (Screams, yells)

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