Y&R Transcript Tuesday 8/11/09 -- Canada; Wednesday 8/12/09 -- U.S.A.

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Chloe: (Inhales deeply)

Billy: Delia's snoring a little. It's cute.

Chloe: So, uh, time for the big talk. Did you bring a sledgehammer, or do you want to borrow one? You know, so you could do a number on my heart. (Chuckles) Mac--she beat you to it... unless you're gonna tell me that she was wrong and you guys aren't together.

Billy: We are.

Chloe: (Clicks tongue) And poor, dumb Chloe-- just the last to know, as always.

(Sighs)

Billy: All right. (Clears throat) You know, um, we should talk about Delia.

Chloe: Wow, you actually gave your daughter a thought? Wow. I'm stunned.

Billy: (Sighs) I want to see my little girl as often as possible.

Chloe: You mean after the divorce. There. I said it. Are you proud?

Nina: I'm so glad you could come out with me and celebrate your new job.

Chance: Well, I am pretty psyched about it.

Nina: Hey, they are lucky to have you. You're gonna be a great detective.

Chance: Thank you.

Nina: So you ready for your first case? It's about a young man who won't admit that he's got a crush on a particular married woman.

Chance: (Laughs) That's very funny. It's very funny.

Nina: I'm not laughing.

Chance: Well, I am, Mom.

Nina: Admit it. There's something going on between you and Chloe.

Chance: No. No, you're wrong. There is-- there is nothing going on between Chloe and me. But I wish there were.

Jeff: Man, what do people flush down those toilets anyway, "The New York Times"?

Gloria: I got news.

Jeff: I'd settle for that ham and Swiss you're making.

Gloria: Unh, unh, unh, unh. This ham and cheese is for Victor's very special friend who just happens to be out on the patio as we speak.

Jeff: Mary Jane Benson? She's here?

Gloria: Yeah. Yeah, it's gotta be her, and she looks terrible.

Jeff: Oh, no, no, no, no. Au contraire, pussycat. I haven't even seen her, and I know she looks like a million bucks of Victor's reward money.

(Chuckles)

Mac: Two club sodas.

Phillip: Thank you.

Mac: On the house. My way of saying thank you, because if the two of you had never come to Genoa City, I would not own this place.

Cane: Now that is some twisted logic.

Phillip: Just don't give away all your profits.

Mac: That's right. You own a bar. I should pick your brain.

Phillip: Yeah, sure. Happy to oblige. W-whatever.

Mac: Are you heading back to Australia to check on your place, or sell it, or move here permanently?

Phillip: (Sighs) So much of it is in the air right now, you know? A lot depends on my son Chance. But this one here, he can't ever go back.

Mac: Really? Why? Hold that thought.

Cane: Sure.

Phillip: (Whispers) I'm sorry.

Cane: That's okay. Don't worry about it.

Phillip: (Sighs) (Normal voice) So what a-- what about your plans?

Cane: What about my plans?

Phillip: You said you were gonna leave after Lily got home from the hospital, I mean, after she had surgery.

Cane: Yeah, I know. I said that, didn't I?

Phillip: Yeah, so you're sticking around? 'Cause she's home now, right?

Cane: Yeah, she's at her dad's, and she's about to face another round of chemo. See, the problem is, it's not up to me. I mean, how am I supposed to abandon her right now when she's going through this?

Phillip: Who is it up to? Her dad?

Cane: Neil's devoted to his kids, but we both want what is best for Lily. That's the problem.

Phillip: You guys just can't agree on what that is.

Cane: Mnh-mnh. And I don't think I'll ever make peace with this man.

Phillip: And he's the gatekeeper.

Cane: Look, it's more than that. Lily is in the middle of this, and I don't want to put any--any more stress on her on top of what she's already going through. Look if--if-- it would be hard for me, but if I thought that me leaving here would be the best thing for her, medically or emotionally, I would go. It's just what's she's gotta face, it's horrendous and she might die. How--how--how am I supposed to leave her at a time like this?

Phillip: And Lily doesn't have a vote of her own?

Cane: I-I don't think Lily knows where her head is. I mean, I-I-I don't know where Lily's head is. I just know I want to be with her, and I would do anything for that to happen again.

Mac: Sorry about that. So what did you mean when you said Cane can't go back to Australia?

Cane: (Clears throat)

Neil: So Cane is coming over tonight, huh? Since when?

Lily: I said I hope he'll come over. I haven't spoken to him yet.

Neil: Ahh, okay. That's a big difference. Um, Lily, just take my advice. Don't call him. Don't make contact.

Lily: Dad, I want to spend time with him.

Neil: Yeah, I know you do. That's exactly what I'm worried about. I-I see--I see the two of you getting closer again. And I know it feels good, and I know it's comforting. I realize that you still love him in spite of everything. You don't just switch off feelings like that overnight.

Lily: Okay, then if you understand that, why are you so against me seeing him?

Neil: (Sighs) Lily, um, did you forget that we made plans tonight to go to Devon's, maybe play a little bit of cards, get out of the house for a bit? Did you forget that?

Lily: Dad, look, yeah, no. I am exactly where I want to be, okay? And when Cane gets here, if he can make it, which I'm really hoping that he can...

Neil: Lily, my biggest worry is that you will reattach, and then two months into chemotherapy, your immune system is shot, and you'll need all the strength just to get through your day. Cane could break your heart again and jeopardize your entire recovery.

Lily: Dad--

Neil: I know. I know, I know. I don't think it's gonna happen, but it could. Sweetheart, this is the biggest challenge of your life. I'm sorry. I can't allow it.

Devon: So how long is your study group gonna be?

Roxanne: Don't worry. I will be back in plenty of time for game night.

Devon: Yeah?

Roxanne: Mm-hmm.

Devon: Come here.

(Knock on door)

Devon: (Groans) Yes?

Tyra: Hey, I'm sorry. I forgot my key. Hey, Roxy.

Roxanne: Hello. Good-bye.

Devon: Um, don't forget the trivia cards.

Roxanne: Oh, okay.

Devon: Okay?

Roxanne: Do you want me to bring "Scrabble," too?

Devon: Yeah, sure.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Devon: That would be great, all right?

Roxanne: All right.

Devon: (Sighs) Bye. I love you.

Roxanne: Bye. I love you, too.

Tyra: "Scrabble," Devon?

Devon: Yes, "Scrabble," Tyra. Uh, Neil's bringing Lily over here for game night later.

Tyra: When? Tonight?

Devon: Yes, is that a problem?

Tyra: Uh, no. I mean, I just, I had a hard day. I was looking forward to a nice quiet night at home.

Devon: Oh, well, you can hang out upstairs then.

Tyra: Uh, excuse me, but I do live here, too. Look, why didn't you just ask me if you could have people over?

Devon: Well, excuse me. I thought you'd be happy. Your boyfriend's coming over. You don't look very happy, though. What's wrong? Did the great romance hit a snag?

Tyra: (Sighs)

Nina: Look, I know. Chloe is cute and she's hip and she's funny. And I can see why you'd be attracted to her, but you don't know the whole story.

Chance: What whole story?

Nina: When she came back to Genoa City, she didn't even tell her own mother.

Chance: Esther, right?

Nina: Yeah. No one even knew that she was Kate Valentine until she tricked Cane into marrying her, never mind that he was spoken for, didn't love her, wasn't the baby's father. Billy was, and she knew it all along. But he didn't want to have anything to do with her because of the way she stalked him in New York. I mean... (Sighs) Tell me, what kind of mother wouldn't want her son to be involved with such a woman?

Chance: Chloe's her own woman. I mean, she doesn't make excuses or apologize for the way she is or how she acts or what she does. She is who she is. What you see is what you get, and I like that. That's what I dig about her, okay? I mean, to tell you the truth, I mean, if we're speaking honestly here, she reminds me a lot of you.

Billy: Is it really so hard to imagine why I'd want a divorce?

Chloe: (Sighs)

Billy: Look, we're not really Romeo and Juliet here.

Chloe: No. That's you and Mackenzie-- star-crossed lovers.

Billy: I'm not saying it was oh, so terrible, okay? Something beautiful came out of this-- Delia. She's the reason why we got married, and she's also the reason why we can handle this like civil adults.

Chloe: Civil. Right. Yeah, and then you'll disappear, and it will be like we just never existed.

Billy: What are you talking about? That little girl's my number one priority.

Chloe: Yeah, until you and Mac start turning out kids, and then Delia, she's just gonna be a leftover from a marriage that mercifully went belly-up. She deserves more than that, Billy. I never wanted her to grow up the way that I did, like an orphan and alone. I couldn't stand that.

Gloria: Here. I even gave you extra pickles.

Mary Jane: Um, I-I-I-- I don't have any money.

Gloria: Oh, Honey, you don't need any money. You go ahead. Eat whatever you like. It's free. And Jeffrey's gonna bring you a nice hot cup of coffee, and if you want anything else--

Jeff: There you go. Um, sugar and cream?

Mary Jane: Mnh-mnh. Black is fine.

Jeff: Okay.

Gloria: Mind if we join you?

Jeff: Yeah. Yeah, my--my dog's are barkin'.

Gloria: (Chuckles) Oh, Jeffrey's not used to these hard floors. Actually, we're just filling in for my son. He and his wife deserved a night off.

Jeff: So how'd you wind up in these circumstances, if you don't mind my asking?

Mary Jane: You look familiar.

Gloria: He does?

Jeff: I do?

Gloria: (Chuckles)

Jeff: (Laughs) I-I-I must have one of those faces. People tell me that all the time. So tell me about you. You don't strike me as the kind of woman who'd wind up on the streets.

Mary Jane: My, um, my husband abused me and I ran away.

Jeff: Mm-hmm.

Gloria: Good for you.

Mary Jane: I-I was able to escape with my sweet, darling kitty. Yeah, and then he, um, he's gone now. A horrible, horrible, horrible dog got to him.

Jeff: (Sighs)

Gloria: Oh, my gosh. That's terrible. I'm really, really sorry. Hey, hey, hey.

Mary Jane: (Sniffles)

Gloria: Had you been married for a long time?

Mary Jane: Um, you know what? Thank you for the sandwiches.

Jeff: All right. (Stammers) Where are you staying?

Mary Jane: Why?

Jeff: Well, uh, because if you don't have anyplace to go, we've got a terrific guestroom.

Mary Jane: You're inviting a stranger to stay with you?

Jeff: Well, yeah. Sure. Why not? I mean, you can, uh, grab a shower, a big, fluffy towel, relax in front of the tube, get a good night's sleep.

Mary Jane: (Sighs) So why are you guys being so nice to me? What's in it for you?

Gloria: We're big believers in karma.

Mary Jane: Which means?

Gloria: Which means we know what it's like to be down to your last dime. It's humiliating. Nobody cares. They treat you like you're invisible.

Jeff: Yeah, just as soon kick you as say hello.

Gloria: Yeah. And Jeffrey and I vowed that when we got back on our feet again, if we were ever in the position to help somebody else, we'd do it. Oh, listen. Listen, there's no pressure. You think about it, and in the meantime, I'll pack up some more food to take with you.

Jeff: Yeah, and if you, you know, decide to bunk with us, I'll--I'll drive you over, get you settled in. You can, uh, raid the fridge to your heart's content.

Gloria: (Laughs) So you sit tight, and we'll be right back.

Gloria: Would you slow down? You're gonna scare her off.

Jeff: I'm trying to hold onto her. I want her at the penthouse where we can keep an eye on her, trade her for the money.

Gloria: Fine. Fine. I got it. I'll get food. Go talk her into being our houseguest. (Sighs)

Jeff: She's gone.

Gloria: Don't just stand there. Go get her!

Jeff: (Sighs)

Tyra: (Sighs) Devon, I said I do not care to discuss your father.

Devon: You know I warned you, right? I told you he wasn't ready for anything serious, but you wouldn't listen to me. You just kept giving me attitude.

Tyra: (Sighs) Why are you being so nasty, huh? I thought we passed all this, Devon.

Devon: That's what you thought?

Tyra: Yes.

Devon: You thought I just forgave and forgot? I didn't forget about any of it, Tyra, all right? I just didn't want to add any more tension while we were in the hospital with Lily.

Tyra: However you need to justify being a hypocrite. Like father, like son.

Devon: You stay right there. What's that supposed to mean?

Tyra: It means one minute he needs me, one minute he shuts me out. He's hot, he's cold. He's back, he's forth. I mean, hell, who's leading on who?

Devon: (Scoffs) Oh, my goodness, Tyra. He was married. Remember that?

Tyra: (Sighs)

Devon: And you kept going after him, and now you're here complaining that he's not 100% into you? It's not all happily ever after? That's naive.

Tyra: You know what, Devon? It takes two people, okay? And for your information, your father is no saint. Stop acting like I came in here and I corrupted him, and I'm some kind of villain, because I'm not, okay? And for your information, relationships take work, a lot of work, and if you don't think so, you're the naive one, not me.

Devon: That's just it. You're not in a relationship, okay? You think you are, but you're not. Neil has way too much stuff on his plate to be worrying about your happiness.

Tyra: I don't even know why I put up with this garbage.

Devon: I don't know why you keep threatening to leave. You need to just do it already and make us both happy.

Jeff: (Sighs) Great. A million bucks just flew out the door.

Gloria: Well, we gotta go after her.

Jeff: Well, what about this place? We can't--

Gloria: Stop. Just...

Jeff: Okay. Uh-huh. Uh, ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? Crimson Lights is now closed. Thanks for your business. See you soon.

Gloria: (Sighs) Okay. (Inhales deeply) Okay. Let's go.

(Door closes)

 Mac: I haven't seen him all night. I sure will. That was your wife, Jerry. Drink up, buddy.

Phillip: (Laughs) Looks like you don't need any pointers.

Mac: Anyway, now that you got me curious, why can't you go back to Australia?

Cane: Uh, too many bad memories. Let's just leave it at that.

Mac: Sure. Okay. Uh, excuse me a second.

Cane: Sure.

Mac: It's good to see you. I've been worried about you.

Mary Jane: I, uh, I-I need a place to hide. I've--I've got somebody following me. He's--

Mac: Okay.

Mary Jane: Yeah?

Mac: It's okay. Yeah. You're safe. Come on. Let's check out your old room, make sure you have everything you need.

Cane: So you taking off?

Phillip: Yeah. Cane, uh, about Lily, I-I know that this is tough, you know? But you've got your head on straight, so you're gonna do the right thing.

Cane: So are you, mate.

Phillip: Good luck.

Cane: Thanks.

Neil: I know it's gonna hurt you when I say this, but I don't think--

Lily: But you don't trust Cane, and you don't want him anywhere near me.

Neil: Lily, come on. He lied... for two years, right? I mean, the only thing we know about Cane for sure is that we can't believe a single word that comes out of his mouth.

Lily: Okay, Dad. You know what, Dad? You have to listen to my side, too, okay?

Neil: Okay, fine. Go ahead.

Lily: Three months ago-- three months ago, I was on my honeymoon. I had my life laid out in front of me like this amazing dream. I had an amazing husband, a beautiful home. Cane had just bought jimmy's bar, and I was gonna model as long as I could until I got pregnant. And then just like that... (Snaps fingers) It was gone.

Neil: I know. I know, baby. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Lily: I'm not in control. This cancer is. And being with Cane makes me feel a little less vulnerable and alone. And I know that you're looking out for me, okay? And I love you for that. But if I want to see him, Dad, I will.

Billy: I mean, what was it? Bad dream or something?

Chloe: Yeah.

Billy: But she's okay?

Chloe: Yeah, she'll be fine, for now.

Billy: Chloe, come on.

Chloe: What, Billy? She's gonna end up second-best, especially when you guys start having kids. She's going to. I mean, you're gonna look at her-- you're gonna look at her, and you're gonna see me and how much you hate me.

Billy: No, listen to me. I don't hate you.

Chloe: The girl who tricked you into raising your own daughter? As long as I'm in the picture, Billy, she's gonna pick up on that resentment.

Billy: Okay, so how do I convince you how wrong you are, huh? That little girl up there, she's not gonna feel anything but loved by me, I promise you.

Chloe: All I ever wanted for my child was not to grow up like I did, and that meant having a mom and a dad and a brother and a sister and a dog and a parakeet, full-time. Not on weekends and Wednesdays and every third Thanksgiving.

Billy: Okay. What the hell are you saying?

Chloe: I want you to have full custody of her, because then you can give her what I can’t.

Billy: (Sighs) You—

(Clears throat)

Chance: What?

Nina: I'm just still trying to digest the comment you made earlier...

Chance: (Sighs)

Nina: Comparing me to Chloe.

Chance: (Chuckles) What, is it giving you a stomachache now?

Nina: You really don't understand why I'm concerned? Honey, she's got so much baggage.

Chance: Yeah, that I noticed. She's in love with Billy still.

Nina: Oh, well, that's pretty one-sided on Chloe's part, and I can see her lining you up for the day that he dumps her for Mackenzie.

Chance: (Laughs) Jeez, Mom, would you just lighten up for one second? Chloe and I are just friends. That's it.

Nina: Yeah, until she finds herself alone and needy, which isn't far off.

Chance: Look, here's the deal-- she's made some mistakes. We all have.

Nina: People don't change unless they really, really want to, and that's rare.

Chance: (Sighs)

Nina: Look, we're--we're-- we're humans. We fall into our patterns. And I am willing to bet that Chloe will repeat hers and try and lay a trap for you. I mean, you're... (Scoffs) You're a Chancellor male.

Phillip: Laying traps for Chancellor men? Talk about a blast from the past.

Cane: (Sighs) Neil.

Neil: She's expecting you. Come on in.

Cane: Thank you. I-I appreciate that, Neil. Thank you.

Neil: She's gonna be right out, so I'm gonna make this real quick, okay? This right here, this is a visit, not a first step back into our good graces. If you think you're gonna win me over somehow by playing "Mr. Supportive," "Mr. Nice guy"--

Cane: Neil, listen, with all due respect, I'm here because Lily wants me to be here, not because I want to take advantage because she is sick, for God sake. I would rather be back in Australia than see her suffer because you and I can't get along.

Neil: My friend, Australia might not be far enough.

Tyra: Devon, I am not going anywhere until Ana gets home from music camp.

Devon: Well, leave Ana here. I'll look after her.

Tyra: (Scoffs) Please, Devon.

Devon: (Stammers) Please? How many times are you gonna to uproot that poor child? I'm actually starting to think that Karen might have been a better mother for her after all.

Tyra: (Scoffs) Did you say Karen?

Devon: Yes, I said Karen. Karen--you remember her? Neil's ex-wife. She always put Ana first, no matter what. With you, it's "Me, me, me, me, me, me, me." You're here right now complaining about how Neil isn't 1,000% into you. His damn daughter has cancer right now. Do you remember that? Do you realize? Seriously, what man do you ever think is gonna want to be with you when you're that selfish and that insincere?

Tyra: (Sobs)

Devon: Hey. Come on, Tyra.

Tyra: (Sobs)

Devon: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things, okay?

Tyra: (Sobs)

Neil: I don't want you to overdo it. If you get tired, then you go to bed.

Lily: Yes, Dad. Thank you.

Neil: Bye, baby.

Lily: Bye.

Cane: Thank you, Neil. Uh, you have a good night. Thank you.

Neil: Thanks.

(Door closes)

Lily: (Sighs) I'm sorry he's so hard on you.

Cane: Don't worry about it. Your dad loves you. He's just being protective. I can't fault him for that.

Lily: (Sighs) Cane, I, uh, I, um...

Cane: What?

Lily: Well, when I walked in before on you and my dad, I heard you mention Australia. Are you thinking about going back there?

Chance: So are you saying that Mom trapped you into marrying her?

Phillip: I-I just find it amusing.

Nina: What do you find amusing?

Phillip: That you are warning our son about somebody with Chloe's background.

Nina: Yeah, I'm warning my son about Chloe.

Phillip: Okay, whatever-- whatever you say.

Nina: Well-- (sighs) I think what your father is so cleverly hinting at is that there's a reason why I have some insight into how Chloe operates beyond just her history.

Chance: Did you go after men for messed-up reasons? Is that it?

Nina: Well, it's embarrassing to think about it now, but--

Chance: Uh-huh.

Phillip: Uh, let-- let me tell you a story about your mother, because if she were to say it, she wouldn't paint herself in a good light. But I've had 20 years to think about it, and I've realized that what people said and what the truth is, they're two different things.

Nina: Oh, you mean I wasn't a brazen opportunist?

Phillip: People thought your mother loved me for my money and the Chancellor name. But she didn’t. She loved me for me, who I really was. And considering that my head was so screwed up back then, that wasn't easy to do, you know? I'm just sorry that I-- I didn't realize it until now.

Nina: It's very sweet of you to say that.

Chance: So if she loved you for yourself and who you were and not because you were loaded or the Chancellor name, how do you know that Chloe isn't the same way?

Nina: Because I'm an excellent judge of character.

Chance: Ahh, excellent judge of character. But you're not a mind reader. So what I'm saying right now, it could be--could be-- it could be right.

Nina: Okay. You give it 20 years, all right? If she grows up by then, you've got my blessing.

Phillip: Mine, too. 20--20 years.

Chance: (Sighs)

Nina: (Giggles)

Chance: All right, 20 years. I'm gonna hold you both to that. (Knocks on table) 20 years.

Billy: I don't believe you want this.

Chloe: I don’t. But I think it's what's best for Delia.

Billy: What's best for Delia is that she has her mother. You're a good mother, and she needs you. So look, just stop being so pessimistic, okay? W-we're gonna work this out. We're--we're gonna share custody, and we'll make sure that we both have equal time with her, and wherever this little girl goes, she's gonna be top kid.

Chloe: Fine. Fine, we'll do it your way. And then you get to have your bright, shiny tomorrow with your best girl Mac. It's fine.

Billy: (Sighs) Okay, so besides custody, we should probably talk about something in the way of a settlement.

Chloe: I-I don't want your money. I never married you for your money.

Billy: I know that.

Chloe: Do you?

Billy: Yes, I know that. It wasn't ever about who can keep you in the most Prada or Jimmy Choo.

Chloe: Thank you for that. (Sighs) I should have known it was happening. You know, I saw it. I saw it. As soon as I knew what she meant to you, I just knew that we didn't stand a chance, and I should have just given up then, and... I think you know why I didn't, right?

Billy: Yeah, I do.

Gloria: What the hell are you doing in here? You're supposed to be looking for Mary Jane.

Jeff: It's hot out there.

Gloria: And so was her trail. At least, it was till now.

Jeff: Hey, you know, I've been running around, chasing up and down alleys. My shirt's sticking to my back, and I thought, whoa, wait a second. Here's a smart woman. Where would she be? Someplace where it's air-conditioned, right?

Gloria: She's not here, and she's not in that beer glass.

Jeff: Oh, Angel, look--

Gloria: No, you look. There is $1 million on the loose out there. If you think for one minute I'm gonna spend my old age pilfering doughnuts from my son, you are mistaken. Now come on. Let's go.

Jeff: (Sighs)

(Door opens)

(Door blinds rattle)

(Door closes)

Cane: I won't be going back to Australia, not now, not ever.

Lily: (Sighs) Thank God, because when I heard you say that--

Cane: All right, listen. I-I don't want to lie to you. I considered leaving because the last thing I want to do is create friction between you--you and your dad, 'cause I know it's the last thing that you need.

Lily: Cane, what I need is you. I don't want to go through this without you. Please say that you'll stay.

Cane: All right, listen, you call me, and I am here. You need me, I'm here.

Roxanne: Where's Lily? She's not feeling up to it?

Neil: Um, well, unbeknownst to me, Lily had other plans tonight.

Roxanne: Oh.

Neil: Yeah.

(Cell phone rings)

Neil: Oh, excuse me, one second. Got a phone call.

Roxanne: Okay.

Neil: Yeah, it's Winters. Really? What's the latest demand? No, no, no. That's okay. I, um, yeah, I'll-- I'll be right there. All right. Bye-bye.

(Cell phone hangs up)

Roxanne: That didn't sound good.

Neil: No, it's not good. It's work stuff, you know? A potential strike at one of the plants. Um, can you tell Devon that I'm sorry? It just couldn't be helped. It's work.

Roxanne: Oh, okay. I mean, it's not gonna be much of a game night with just the two of us.

Neil: Well, I promise you we will try again next weekend.

Roxanne: Okay.

Neil: All right? You take care. And do me a favor. These are some sweets for you and your sweetie to eat.

Roxanne: (Chuckles)

Neil: And freeze whatever you don't eat. All right, babe, take care. Bye-bye.

Roxanne: Okay. Bye.

Jeff: Man, what a waste.

Gloria: Yeah, well, at least we tried.

Jeff: Yeah, and now we gotta close out the place.

Gloria: You know, maybe if you hadn't been quite so suggestive.

Jeff: What are you talking about?

Gloria: "Oh, come on over to our place. Take a shower--big fluffy towel. Raid the refrigerator. Watch the tube."

Jeff: I didn't think of that.

Gloria: So what else is new?

Jeff: Now--

Gloria: Unh, unh, unh! I'm frustrated.

Jeff: (Shudders) Well... (Clears throat) At least we know she's still out there somewhere. I'm willing to bet most people are looking for the old Ms. Benson-- sharp-looking businesswoman. We might be the only ones who realize she's not so sharp anymore.

Gloria: You think?

Jeff: Yeah. Yeah, just have a little faith. Keep your eyes open. We'll find her, collect that dough, and finally be back where we belong.

Gloria: (Sighs)

Jeff: In a magical place...

Gloria: (Giggles)

Jeff: Where there aren't any toilets that need plunging.

Gloria: (Laughs) Well, Honey, that can't happen soon enough, 'cause this is getting real old.

Jeff: (Chuckles)

Nina: Thanks for that, by the way.

Phillip: For what?

Nina: The things you said earlier about us.

Phillip: I just wanted to make sure our son had the straight story.

Nina: Well, I'm glad that you understand that now. I did love you, Phillip. It wasn't your money. It wasn't your fortune. It wasn't anything else. If you would have realized that then, do you think...

Phillip: Nina, I was in such pain. I-I don't think anything could have kept me here.

Nina: (Sighs)

Phillip: And I'm not sure anything can keep me here now.

Nina: Does--does that mean you're--you're thinking about leaving again?

Phillip: Look how much turmoil I've caused here, right?

Nina: Oh, please. It's Genoa City. We love turmoil.

Phillip: (Laughs) Well, I still can't help feeling bad about it, and Chance, he doesn't seem gung ho about me.

Nina: (Sighs) Leaving would be a mistake.

Phillip: Why?

Nina: Look, I know our son isn't the easiest person to read, but you're making progress. It's important for Chance that you stay here.

Phillip: All you need is to say that. That's all I need to hear.

Nina: Does that mean you'll stay?

Phillip: I'll stay.

Nina: Good.

Chloe: (Sighs) (Sniffles) (Sighs) Sorry, I--

Chance: No, no, no, no.

Chloe: (Sniffles)

Chance: Don't apologize.

Chloe: Well, I don't think you want to deal with me and my problems.

Chance: Well, it'll give me a break from me and my problems.

Chloe: (Chuckles) You don't have any problems.

Chance: Well, now you would be very surprised.

Chloe: (Sighs)

Chance: Hey, okay, let's fix that.

Chloe: (Laughs) I'm a mess.

Chance: (Laughs) Its okay. So what are you crying about? I mean, unless you don't want to tell me. I know it's none of my business, but I figured I'd ask.

Chloe: (Sighs) Well, first an annulment. (Sobs) And now the big "D." (Sniffles)

Chance: You're getting a divorce?

Chloe: (Sighs) I'm really batting a thousand, aren't I?

Chance: Well...

Chloe: (Laughs)

Chance: Maybe I can cheer you up.

Chloe: Yeah, please. Go ahead. That'd be great.

Chance: Okay, um--

Chloe: Wait. Wait, let me go first. Um...

Chance: All right.

Chloe: I got a good joke. (Sniffles) A girl walks into a bar, and she has a baby, and she walks up to the bartender, and she says, "Hey, bartender, guess what? I just got dumped by my lying, cheating jerk of a husband." (Sniffles) Come on, it's a funny one, right?

Chance: No, not really. That's--that's pretty awful.

Chloe: (Sighs) All right, well, do you have something better? Make me laugh, please.

(Laughs)

Chance: Well, I-I might, maybe. Um...

Chloe: (Clears throat)

Chance: Knock, knock.

Chloe: Who's there?

Chance: A guy.

Chloe: A guy who?

Chance: A guy who would really like to take you out sometime.

Chloe: You mean, like on a date?

Chance: Yeah. Yeah, I guess like on a date. I mean... (Chuckles) I know my timing isn't the greatest right now, but I--

Chloe: No, actually, it's perfect.

Chance: Yeah?

Chloe: I would love to go out on a date.

(Chuckles)

Chance: Good.

(Chuckles)

Billy: Would you just sit still for a minute and let me tell you about my news, please?

Mac: You have to wait, Billy.

Billy: Wait for what?

Mac: A second between orders.

Billy: All right, look, you need to get some warm bodies in here to help out so I can at least have you for a minute alone sometimes, please?

Mac: Poof! Your wish is granted.

Cane: So I'm ready for my shift.

Mac: How's Lily?

Cane: It was fantastic spending time with her, and I'll tell you all about it.

Billy: Hold on. Wait up. Did you say "Shift"? Did I miss some--"Shift"?

Mac: I need help, like you said. Cane's gonna pick up bartending shifts when we're busy.

Billy: You actually hired this son of a -- (Clears throat)

Mac: Billy.

Billy: Look, what'd I tell you about taking in strays? You--you know what? No, I'm outta here. Later. You and "Oz" here have a pleasant evening, okay? Yeah.

(Door slams)

Mac: (Sighs)

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Victor: Who is this?

Mary Jane: It's your partner in crime.

Abby: Wh-what's that?

Ashley: What?

Abby: It looks like a spy cam.

Sharon: I need to see you. There's something that you need to know about.

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