Y&R Transcript Thursday 7/2/09 -- Canada; Friday 7/3/09 -- U.S.A.

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Provided By Eric
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Nikki: I know. Nicholas, just calm down, okay? Calm down. The most important thing is that you and Phyllis clear yourselves of these ridiculous charges, so you can get back to your daughter. Yes, Victor and I are here. We are not going anywhere. Okay. We'll call you as soon as we hear any news. All right, son. Were you able to talk to the hospital administrator?

Victor: Found he's on a sailing trip. They're trying to get a hold of him as we speak.

Nikki: (Sighs)

Michael: Hey.

Nikki: Oh, Michael. Thank God you're here.

Michael: Mm. Oh. I came as soon as I got your call. Not any word yet from Phyllis?

Victor: Not since Heather Stevens had Phyllis escorted out of the room by cop.

Nikki: How Heather can give any credence to the idea that Phyllis would intentionally hurt Summer thinking that Nicholas would come back to her is outrageous!

Victor: Now wait a minute now. Our daughter-in-law may be capable of a lot of things, but not that, all right?

Nikki: (Sighs)

Michael: Is Nick with Phyllis?

Victor: (Sighs)

Nikki: They asked us to be here with Summer, but we're not allowed in her room.

Michael: Yeah. Well, I made a few phone calls on my way over. Once an accusation like this has been made, the system throws a protective net over the child.

Victor: Who's the accuser?

Michael: The court does not have to release that name.

Nikki: Oh, real--what--

Victor: Are you serious?

Nikki: What ever happened to "Innocent until proven guilty"?

Michael: As unfair as this seems now in this case, most reports of child abuse and endangerment-- they turn out to be true.

Nikki: So our hands are tied?

Michael: Until there's an investigation.

Nikki: (Sighs) This is unbelievable. It's unbelievable.

Victor: What happens next?

Michael: Well, the county has temporary custody of Summer, and the court will appoint a guardian.

Victor: What?

Nikki: Until when?

Michael: Well, if this case is not resolved by the time Summer, God willing, recovers and can be released, then Summer will go into foster care.

Nikki: Oh, my God.

Victor: Under no circumstances will anyone else take care of that child. You got that? You talk to the judge. Have him appoint me and Nikki guardians.

Michael: Victor-- Victor, I understand this. I'm not sure the judge will go for that.

Victor: Then find a way!

Kevin: Here you are.

Jana: Well, now how do I rate such service?

Kevin: Well, I am your love slave.

Jana: Now that presents a lot of interesting possibilities.

Kevin: (Laughs) Mm.

Jana: (Giggles)

Daniel: Oh, look at you guys. You must be celebrating Jana's release from jail.

Kevin: Yeah, amongst other things.

Jana: Yeah.

Kevin: Hey, how is Summer doing?

Daniel: I haven't heard anything in a while, so I don't know. Let's just hope that no news is good news, right?

Kevin: Yeah. I'm praying for her, buddy.

Jana: We both are.

Daniel: How bad does it suck that the judge didn't dismiss those charges against us?

Kevin: Well, now we just need to find the man who killed Thomas Balfour.

Daniel: Yeah, well, I had an idea.

Kevin: You're gonna have to do it yourself. One more arrest, and I am toast. You want to steal evidence from the feds, have at it.

Daniel: But that didn't pan out.

Jana: Oh.

Kevin: Ugh. Oh, you guys must be here for the department of justice convention.

Jana: (Sighs)

Aucker: We have warrants to search Crimson Lights...

Kevin: (Sighs)

Aucker: Your apartments, your vehicles.

Kevin: Well, whatever it is you're looking for, you're not gonna find it.

Aucker: Yeah, well, that's what you said about the 100 grand.

Kevin: Oh, yeah.

Jana: Okay, how long are you going to keep harassing us, Agent Aucker?

Amber: What, you're gonna try to tell me I can't be here? I know my rights. I can be here--

Aucker: It's okay.

Amber: What the hell is your problem?

Aucker: Excuse me?

Amber: I came home from the gym and found our place trashed and a search warrant on the front door.

Kevin: No, no, no. It's okay. They're just collecting stuff to put on eBay. I think they're raising money for the D.O.J. ball.

Aucker: You know, joke all you want, but last night, Balfour's cell phone was stolen from the evidence box, okay?

Billy: Uh, you sure Katherine's okay?

Mac: Yeah. She's feisty as ever.

Billy: (Chuckles) Somebody up there must have been looking out of her last night.

Mac: Same somebody that made sure I overheard you in the chapel.

Billy: Oh, are you saying this is divine intervention?

Mac: I don't know, but I finally got to see the Billy I fell in love with.

Billy: Hmm. You still want to keep this a secret?

Mac: Yeah. I want to savor it.

Billy: Oh, before the whole world weighs in.

Mac: Yeah.

Billy: Oh.

Mac: I have nothing to say to you, Billy.

Billy: Whatever.

Chloe: She's still pissed off you slept with Sharon, huh?

Billy: I don't know. I really don't care.

Chloe: Yeah? Since when?

Billy: Since I decided that life's too short to go through it miserable all the time.

Chloe: Yeah, I heard you dodged that major bullet. Good for you.

Billy: Yeah. Yep. The D.N.A. Gods giveth. Jack is the father of Sharon's baby. Unfortunately, the D.N.A. Gods also taketh away. "Crocodile Dundee" is still my brother.

Lily: Hi.

Cane: Hey.

Jill: Oh, there's my handsome son and his beautiful bride.

Katherine: For heaven's sake.

Lily: Hi.

Jill: Hello, Sweetie.

Lily: Happy Fourth of July.

Cane: Hey. Mm.

Jill: Thank you. Same to you.

Kay: Some goodies! Wonderful!

Lily: Yes, cupcakes with a little American flag.

Kay: Cupcakes with American flags.

Murphy: Oh, I'll put them on the table.

Kay: Thank you, Darling.

Lily: I will help you.

Murphy: Okay.

Lily: Okay.

Kay: Um...

Jill: Mm.

Kay: (Laughs) Oh. Can you ever, ever forgive me for doubting you were Phillip?

Cane: Can you ever-- ever, ever forgive me for doubting you were Katherine?

Kay: Then we're even.

Cane: Then we're even.

Kay: (Laughs)

Jill: The only reason I stuck around is to share this holiday with you.

Cane: (Sighs)

Kay: Don't do us any favors, Jill.

Cane: Guys, guys, please. Just today can we get along, okay? We've had so many close calls, it's a miracle the three of us are even standing here...

Jill: (Laughs)

Cane: So just today.

Jill: Or a curse?

Cane: Listen, all right. I love you both so much. I love you so much, and I just want you to be happy, happy like me, please.

Jill: Sorry, darling. I bet you wish that you got in with a more normal family, huh?

Cane: (Sighs)

Jill: (Giggles)

Cane: Well, it's like I said to you--the family may be crazy, but it's my crazy family. And I wouldn't trade any of you for the world.

Kay: Hmm. (Chuckles) Oh.

Nina: So I was right. There was a mistake.

Paul: Well, it's not a mistake, exactly. The sample that Cane gave was a D.N.A. match to Jill, but additional testing showed that the red blood cells had broken apart.

Nina: What does that mean?

Paul: It appears as though the blood sample had been frozen.

Nina: What?

Nikki: That precious little girl is in there fighting for her life. And what sane person believes that being separated from her family is in her best interests?

(Sighs)

Victor: Michael, think for a moment. What if it were Fenmore in there? Wouldn't you move heaven and earth to be by his side?

Michael: Well, of course, Victor. If it were Fenmore, I'd want to do everything we can--

Victor: Well--

Nikki: We should be in there. You know, a lot of doctors agree that people in a coma can often hear what's going on in the room.

Michael: I agree and understand everything you're saying. Unfortunately, courts in these situations, they hesitate to give a child to a family member.

Victor: It doesn't make any sense, though.

Michael: They don't think that you're gonna play by their rules.

Nikki: What do you mean? I don't understand that.

Michael: In most instances, a grandparent's loyalty lies with his or her kids, not with a judge.

Nikki: Do you know how devastating it will be if she wakes up with nothing but strangers around her and then they whisk her off to a foster home?

Victor: I will do everything in my power to make sure that we get custody of that child.

Michael: Okay, this isn't like breaking a zoning code. A child's welfare is at stake, and the judge takes this very, very seriously.

Victor: Michael, then you talk to that judge very, very seriously and convince him that I'll pay whatever amounts it takes in order to ensure around-the-clock monitoring by some policeman or social worker-- whatever it takes.

Michael: All right. All right, you know what? You win. I'm gonna go find a judge.

Nikki: (Sniffles) We should be with her. I mean, what if, God forbid... (Sniffles) The worst happens and we're not even there to say good-bye?

Victor: Sweetheart, please, just don't talk like that right now, okay?

Nikki: I know, I just--

Victor: Please don’t.

Nikki: (Sobbing)

Victor: Please don’t.

Esther: You kids go enjoy the party, and I'll watch over my beautiful little granddaughter.

Chloe: Oh, okay, thank you.

Billy: Yeah, I'm starving.

Chloe: Yeah, me too. Mackenzie, you want to join us?

Mac: No. I'm good. Thanks.

Chloe: Yeah? All right.

Esther: Okay, Honey.

Mac: (Clears throat)

Esther: Isn't she beautiful?

Mac: Mm-hmm.

Murphy: Do you think that, uh, Jill is gonna behave today?

Kay: No, because she's, uh, too busy gloating over the fact that Nina was wrong to cause trouble.

Murphy: Oh... (Laughs) Come on, admit it. You are pleased.

Kay: Yes, I am.

Murphy: (Chuckles)

Kay: No, I adore him, I-I really do, but I just can't get over the fact that such a lovely young man would have a mother like Jill.

Murphy: Mm.

Pearl: Hi, Guys!

Murphy: Hey, hey, Pearl.

Kay: Oh. Oh, my, you made it. You made it. You made it. Good, I'm so glad.

Pearl: Joe Jr. sends his regrets. He's on his annual fishing trip.

Kay: Oh.

Murphy: Ahh. All right, hey, can I take that?

Pearl: Oh, thanks, Doll.

Kay: Oh, thank you, Murph. Thank you, Darling, so much.

Murphy: You're welcome.

Pearl: Now I can't stay long.

Kay: Oh.

Pearl: My granddaughter's in the Moose Lodge Fourth of July parade.

Kay: Oh, well, I'll take whatever I can get. I've missed you so much!

Pearl: Oh.

Kay: Oh. Oh.

Cane: So I hear you saved Katherine's life.

Mac: If, uh, if you call taking her blood pressure saving her life...

Cane: Oh, come on. I know for a fact you did more than that.

Chloe: Hmm. Yeah, don't be so modest. I'm sure that when you were a baby you had, like, a Girl Scout badge pinned to your diaper or something.

(Laughs)

Billy: Hey. What?

Chloe: Mmm, pickle.

Cane: Hey, so, uh... you ready for a rematch?

Billy: I gotta warn you, I've been practicing.

Cane: Oh, I'm scared.

Billy: You should be scared.

Cane: I'm scared.

Billy: I'm telling you, look at this.

Jill: What are you two talking about?

Billy: Uh...

Cane: Basketball.

Jill: Are you telling me the two of you are finally starting to bond?

Mac: Chloe, will you tell my grandma that I had to go drop hot dog buns off at the homeless shelter?

Chloe: Oh, yeah.

Mac: Thanks.

Chloe: Yeah. Be right back.

Jill: Oh, what's this for?

Cane: It's for being the best mom that someone could ask for. That's what it's for.

Jill: Oh, Honey, thanks.

Neil: Hey, hey. Happy Fourth of July!

Murphy: How you doing, Neil?

Kay: Oh, you made it. Oh, I'm so glad.

Neil: Hi, Sweetheart. Mm.

Kay: Aw.

Neil: How are you feeling?

Kay: Oh, well, uh, it was a little frightening, but nothing serious.

Neil: So was it a stroke?

Kay: Um, no. Um, it's called mini stroke-- not--not really a stroke. Uh, transient ischemic attacks, I think they call it.

Murphy: Uh...

Kay: Uh, say that three times real fast.

Neil: Uh, tran--tran-- transient ischemic a-- I'm gonna pass on that.

Kay: Okay.

Neil: I'm just glad you're okay, sweetheart.

Murphy: And I am gonna make sure she stays that way.

Neil: Good man.

Kay: Listen, come on out here. I think you know everybody here.

Neil: Okay, I think so.

Kay: I think you know that one over here and that one over there.

Neil: Yes, yes.

Lily: Hi!

Neil: Hi.

Lily: So have you guys heard?

Neil: Have we heard what?

Kay: Well, the D.N.A. test proved that, uh, Cane really is Phillip Chancellor.

Lily: Yes. Now Nina can stop upsetting everyone.

Murphy: Mm.

Jill: I wish she'd just go back to "Hollyweird" where she belongs.

Cane: All right, because everyone's here, I would like to propose a toast, if I may.

Kay: Of course.

Cane: They say that "Home is where the heart is." Well, my heart is here with my amazing wife, who married this lunkhead from Australia.

Jill: (Chuckles)

Cane: And my beautiful mom...

Jill: (Laughs)

Cane: (Sighs) Who has a fierce brand of humor which I'd never encountered till I moved to G.C. and to the matriarch of this dynasty... a lady who survived trials and tribulations that would have killed a weaker person, and she's always faced them with an encouraging word and smile. I just want to say thank you. Thank you so much. I finally have a home.

Jill: (Chuckles)

Cane: Thank you.

Kay: Hear, hear.

Cane: Cheers.

Lily: Cheers.

Neil: Cheers.

Lily: (Chuckles)

Cane: (Whispers) Hey.

Neil: That was very moving...

Kay: Yes, with your daughter.

Neil: For his grandma.

Nina: How can Cane's blood have been frozen?

Paul: Well, it doesn't matter how. The lab checked the test results several times.

Nina: I-I was right there. I saw the nurse draw Cane's blood in the Chancellors' living room.

Paul: Right. Well, my first guess was that the sample they tested was not the sample that Cane gave.

Nina: But it was the one that matched with Jill.

Paul: Yes.

Nina: So Phillip's blood didn't come from Cane Ashby’s arm.

Paul: And Phillip's body is missing. There was never a body in the casket. So where did the blood come from?

Nina: Can they tell how old it is? I mean, has it been frozen for 20 years?

Paul: I don't know. I'll find that out.

Nina: At least now I have proof that Cane's a fraud, maybe even a body snatcher.

Paul: Yeah. Um, Nina, I-I think it's a mistake to go off half-cocked.

Nina: I'm not gonna remain quiet when Cane can answer every question I have!

Paul: And it would be prudent to find out more before we tip him off.

Nina: No. I'm not gonna let that creep spend one more minute enjoying Phillip's life.

Paul: (Sighs)

Daniel: Look, if someone stole that cell phone, it wasn't me.

Jana: Yeah, and I was behind bars for something that I didn't even do.

Aucker: What about you, "Mr. Chipmunk"?

Kevin: Silver chipmunk. I was arranging for my wife's bail.

Jana: (Sighs)

Amber: Don't look at us. We left the courthouse right after the hearing, together.

Aucker: I'm sorry, but the two of you being each other's alibi is kind of like Butch Cassidy vouching for the Sundance kid.

Daniel: You know what? I'm not a thief, Agent Aucker, any more than I am a murderer. So why don't you stop hassling us and go find the real culprit before the trail goes cold?

Aucker: You know, that's-- that's--that's a nice speech, Romalotti, but why--why don't you put your money where your mouth is?

Daniel: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Aucker: Why don't you prove to us that you didn't steal that cell phone last night? Take a polygraph.

Daniel: (Sighs)

Kay: Yes, listen to me. I-I know you're frightened, but do you remember after Clear Springs? Ye--Victoria was in that coma. The doctors were not all optimistic that she would make it, but she did. Well, Summer is going to make it, too, and you have to believe in that, Darling. Please, just believe in that.

Pearl: Isn't she terrific? She's as kind and genuine as she was when she was slinging hash.

Jill: Yeah, she's a real peach... to everyone but me.

Pearl: Maybe if you'd be nicer to her...

Jill: What the hell do you know? You spent a couple of months with her in a diner when she was an amnesiac. God! Everybody thinks she's such a sweet old lady. In reality, she is a vindictive, cruel witch.

Kay: Yes. Okay.

Pearl: I gotta go.

Kay: Oh, must you?

Pearl: (Sighs) Boy, that Jill's a piece of work.

Kay: Oh, isn't she, though?

Pearl: You watch out for her, okay?

Kay: Oh, Honey, listen, I've been taking knives out of my back for years, and I'm still here.

Pearl: (Laughs)

Kay: (Chuckles) Oh. I love you.

Pearl: See you.

Jill: (Sighs)

Billy: You know, Murph, I tell you, it was a good thing that Mackenzie was home when, uh, Grandma got sick.

Murphy: Oh, yeah. The way she jumped into action-- I mean, just took over.

Billy: I guess all that Darfur training just kicked in.

Murphy: Yeah. God, I don't know what I'd do if I lost Katherine.

Billy: Oh, man, come on. She's gonna outlive all of us.

Murphy: (Chuckles) Boy, who'd have thunk it? I fall for a gal in a trailer, I wind up with a lady in a mansion.

Billy: That's pretty good work.

Murphy: Yeah.

Billy: (Chuckles) You know, speaking of trailers, um, what are you gonna do with yours?

Murphy: I don't know. Sell it, I guess.

Billy: Yeah?

Murphy: Yeah.

Billy: Consider it sold. We'll work out the details later.

Murphy: Really?

Billy: Yeah, why not?

Murphy: (Laughs) Okay.

Billy: All right.

Murphy: Hey, want a burger?

Billy: Nah, I just got a trailer.

Murphy: (Laughs)

Kay: Uh, Neil, putting you in charge of my company is the best thing I've done for myself in years.

Neil: Well, thank you. Appreciate that-- uh, except for marrying Murphy.

Kay: Yeah, well, that's what's so fabulous. My company in your capable hands gives me time to relax and sort of fool around with the old boy.

Neil: Nice. And my daughter seems to be enjoying her new husband, as well.

Kay: Yeah. Those two are very much in love.

Neil: Although I must say, Nina had me starting to doubt Cane.

Kay: Well, thanks to the wonders of D.N.A., all--put all that nonsense behind us.

Neil: Yeah.

Lily: Oh, look, she's blowing bubbles.

Cane: Cleverest baby on the planet.

Chloe: And dressed to impress in her little swimsuit. It's designer, of course.

(Chuckles)

Billy: Dee Dee's snoozing, huh?

Chloe: Yeah.

Billy: All right, well, I'm gonna go check in on Ashley since Victor's in the hospital.

Chloe: Okay. Uh, am I gonna see you back here later?

Billy: Maybe.

Cane: Hey, when she wakes up, can I take her in the pool?

Chloe: You might, uh, give Jack a run for his money in the "Best uncle" department. Yeah, go ahead. I'll be right back. I'm gonna go grab a soda.

Cane: Okay.

Lily: You know, it's our first Fourth of July as an old married couple.

Cane: Hmm.

Lily: (Chuckles)

Cane: Come here.

Lily: Mm, looks like the fireworks are starting early.

Cane: Mm. Well, there's more where that came from.

Lily: Hey, just think, by next Fourth of July, Delia could have... (Singsongy) A little cousin.

Cane: Well, if she doesn't, it's not from want of trying.

Lily: (Chuckles) (Normal voice) You know, I never knew that I could feel this close to anyone as I feel to you.

Cane: Come here.

Lily: (Chuckles) (Sighs) You know, sometimes I worry that I'm too happy.

Cane: No one can be too happy.

Lily: Well, it's just that the more you have, the more you've got to lose.

Cane: Yeah, I know. I feel the same way.

Lily: Maybe it's because we've overcome so many obstacles to be together.

Cane: Well, let's just hope from now on, it's gonna be smooth sailing.

Nina: Where'd the blood come from, Cane?

Cane: Excuse me--

Nina: The blood that you gave them for the D.N.A. test, where did it come from?

Esther: What?

Chloe: Do me a favor and take Delia inside, okay?

Esther: Sure, Honey.

Chloe: Thanks.

Nina: Answer me, Cane. Where'd the blood come from?

Cane: You can't be serious about this.

Jill: Nina, you have got to get off of this crusade you're on.

Lily: Yeah, haven't you checked? Jill and Cane's D.N.A. matched.

Jill: You just can't stand it that you're wrong.

Nina: I'm not wrong. The blood that they tested was from your son, but it wasn't from Cane.

Jill: Now you've lost it.

Nina: I am telling the truth.

Jill: I watched them take the blood sample from him myself.

Kay: So--so did I, Nina.

Lily: Yeah, uh, we all did.

Jill: Oh, my God, would somebody please throw her out of here?

Kay: All right, everybody. Please, just calm down. Go ahead, Nina.

Jill: No. She's a lunatic, Katherine.

Kay: Continue with what you were saying, please.

Jill: Oh, my God.

Nina: Additional testing of the blood showed that it had been frozen.

Jill: You lying bitch.

Nina: You don't have to believe me, okay? Ask Paul.

Paul: She's telling the truth. I've had the results tested and retested.

Nina: You didn't think a test would show that, did you? You know, Cane might have ice running in his veins, but frozen blood? I don't think so. Oh, my gosh.

Paul: What is it?

Nina: I know when he switched the samples. Remember when he knocked the vial over?

Jill: You know what? You've missed your calling. You should be writing science fiction.

Nina: You know where my husband's body is.

Cane: I don't know what you're talking about.

Nina: How else could you get his blood?

Cane: Nina, I don't know what you're--

Nina: Cane, tell me! Where is Phillip?!

Kevin: Don't-- don't do it, Dude. He's gonna twist your words, make you say things you don't mean.

Amber: Yeah, Kevin's right. It's a trick.

Jana: Look, this man is not your friend, Daniel.

Daniel: No, you know what? If taking a lie detector test will help clear up this mess?

Kevin: Fine, then at least have Michael go with you.

Daniel: For what? I don't have anything to hide. Yeah, I'll take your polygraph.

Victor: No, she's still in a coma. Yeah. No, Ashley, my darling, don't-- don't come to the hospital. A lot of sick people here full of germs, this is not the right place for you, okay? Okay, my sweetheart. Bye.

Nikki: What do we do if the court refuses?

Victor: Then we have to find another court.

Nikki: Plea--please. Ju-just another minute, please.

Man: Against the rules, Ma'am.

Nikki: I-- (Sighs)  Look, do you have children?

Man: Twin girls.

Nikki: That's my granddaughter in there, and I-I really need to go in and make sure she's okay. I mean, imagine if it were one of your girls.

Man: I sympathize, Ma'am, but--

Nikki: Please, please, I-I'm begging you, Officer. Please have a heart. Please.

Man: Just for a few seconds.

Nikki: Thank you.

Nikki: Has there been any change?

Doctor: Sorry. No.

Man: That's enough.

Nikki: Thank you. (Sniffles) (Sighs) She just-- she's so very still. I mean, almost as if she's--

Victor: Please don't, okay?

Nikki: (Sighs) I know. I'm just--

Michael: Victor. Victor.

Victor: Yes?

Michael: The judge granted you temporary custody.

Victor: All right.

Nikki: (Sighs) Oh, thank you.

Michael: (Chuckles)

Nikki: Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Michael: All right, the clerk is gonna fax it to the hospital, and I'm gonna wait for it.

Nikki: Oh, God, we need to tell Phyllis and Nicholas.

Michael: Yeah, I'd do it.

Victor: You're a good man, Michael.

Michael: Well, I'm glad to be of help.

Victor: I appreciate it, okay?

Michael: Any time.

Nikki: I will never forget this, ever.

Michael: All right. I'll see you upstairs, okay?

Nikki: Thank you so much.

Victor: Thank you, my boy.

Michael: Yeah.

Nikki: (Sighs) Oh, thank God.

Victor: Now you know what I'm thinking about?

Nikki: What?

Victor: If we can just get Summer out of the hospital, we take her to the ranch, and then I buy her a pony and teach her how to ride. Remember, Victoria wasn't much older.

Nikki: I know. I know, but--

Victor: What? But what?

Nikki: Look, be-before you make a lot of plans...

Victor: What?

Nikki: Look, I-I am praying that Phyllis will be cleared by then, of course, but if she's not, I think Summer should come home with me. Yeah...

(Lock beeps)

Billy: Mm.

Aucker: Okay. Very good. All right. (Sighs) It's all set. Let's go.

Amber: I'm coming with you.

Aucker: Uh, you know, its okay. He's a--he's a big boy.

Daniel: It's all right, baby. This ain't gonna take but a second, okay?

Amber: I love you.

Kevin: (Sighs) Aucker's up to something.

Jana: We should find Michael.

Kevin: Well, it's too late. Daniel already agreed to take the test. Guess we just have to trust that he knows what he's doing.

Amber: Well, Daniel, I trust. Agent Aucker, not so much.

Lily: Cane, tell them it's not true.

Nina: He can't, Lily.

Lily: Shut up! There has to be an explanation for this.

Cane: Sweetheart--

Nina: Yeah, there's an explanation. He's a fake.

Jill: I don't know what the two of you think you've found--

Paul: Look, look, look. This is science, Jill. It is not personal.

Jill: Its crap, and I can't believe you're falling for it.

Nina: Thank you very much for your help, Paul. I'll take it from here.

Paul: Are you sure?

Nina: Yeah. This isn't your battle.

Paul: All right. Call me if you need anything.

Nina: Thank you.

Jill: Why do you hate me so much?

Nina: I don't hate you, Jill. You're a victim, just like I am, just like Lily is.

Lily: Okay, just stop it! I know my husband, okay? He would not do this.

Jill: Of course he wouldn’t. Who'd you pay off at the lab?

Murphy: All right, all right. Pipe down, all of you. My wife just got out of the hospital.

Kay: No, obvi-obviously, something is wrong, but screaming at one another is not helping. If you have something to say, Cane, you need to speak up... now.

Victor: To be honest with you, I think I'm better equipped to take care of Summer.

Nikki: (Sighs) That's your heart talking, not your head.

Victor: But, Sweetheart, I have a big house, a full staff. She's surrounded by familiar faces-- Ashley, Abby, Noah.

Nikki: Ashley's had a difficult pregnancy. A small child in the house will just add more pressure on her.

Victor: Well...

Nikki: And then there's Adam.

Victor: What about Adam?

Nikki: Well... (Scoffs) Is a convict on house arrest really a very good influence?

Victor: Point well taken.

Nikki: And most importantly...

Victor: Mm-hmm.

Nikki: Summer's going to need maternal love. I can give her that.

Victor: Don't you think you should discuss that with Paul first?

Nikki: Paul will be fine with it.

Victor: Okay.

Michael: (Sighs) Hey. All right, so here's the deal. You both have to go before a judge tomorrow, but it's confirmed. You have temporary custody of your granddaughter for a while.

Nikki: (Sighs) Thank God.

Michael: Why don't you go visit her?

Nikki: Thank you, Michael.

Michael: Sure.

Billy: Mm. So...

Mac: Hmm?

Billy: Hot dog buns-- did they make it to the shelter?

Mac: They did. What was your excuse?

Billy: I said I had to drop in on Ashley.

Mac: And did you?

Billy: I sure did. I walked in, I said, "Hi, Ash. Bye, Ash." And I got in the car, and I drove here like a maniac.

Mac: Mm.

Billy: Mm. (Grunts) This is, uh, this is kind of exciting, isn't it?

Mac: What, meeting secretly?

Billy: Yeah. It--it reminds me of Joanne Fleming back in the day. When we were in the fifth grade, we used to sneak off to the janitor's closet, and we used to make out.

Mac: You never told me about her.

Billy: Oh, well, don't worry. Last I heard, she's married with, like, 6 kids, 300 pounds. She's huge.

Mac: Good.

Billy: Good?

Mac: Yeah.

Billy: You know, I bet Katherine would be happy for us.

Mac: I hope so.

Billy: Chloe is going to freak.

Mac: She knows you're done.

Billy: That doesn't mean she wants you to have me.

Mac: Mm, other people are gonna be shocked, too. We should probably enjoy this before it all hits the fan.

Billy: Oh, I intend to.

Mac: Mm.

Cane: I-I'm sorry. I-I-I am so sorry. I'm sorry.

Lily: Cane, no.

Cane: I'm sorry.

Kay: What are you telling us?

Jill: Don't say it. No. This isn't true. It can't be.

Cane: It's true. It's true. I'm not your son. I'm not Phillip Chancellor III. I'm sorry.

Jill: (Sighs)

Cane: I'm sorry.

Chloe: (Mouthing words)

Jill: (Chokes back sob)

Billy: Mm.

Billy: Okay. It--I know anticipation is the best foreplay, but come on, six years?

Mac: Mm.

Billy: Unh-unh. Mm.

(Clears throat)

Mac: So here we are.

Billy: Yeah. You know, I didn't ever think this moment was gonna happen.

Mac: I tried so hard to forget you.

Billy: Well, I didn't try to forget you.

Mac: (Laughs)

Billy: Well... when my mom came to the door that night of our wedding and everything fell apart, and we wasted all that time thinking that we were cousins, ew, yeah.

(Laughs)

Mac: Okay, gross, but it wasn't wasted. We both had a lot of growing up to do.

Billy: Then why do I feel like a teenager with sweaty palms?

Mac: When I close my eyes, I can almost believe that we're back in our honeymoon suite.

Billy: Yeah?

Mac: Yeah.

Billy: Well, this time, no one's gonna come knocking on the door.

Mac: Mm.

Billy: Mm.

Kevin: I know.

Amber: How'd it go?

Daniel: Nailed it.

Jana: Okay. So now will you leave us alone?

Aucker: I just follow the evidence, Mrs. Fisher. It's not my fault it always leads back to you four.

Amber: Hmm, so what now?

Aucker: Don't anybody--

Kevin: Leave town. Yeah, we know the drill.

Amber: (Sighs)

Kevin: Ahh.

Amber: Hey. I thought you'd be jumping for joy.

Jana: Yeah, so did I.

Kevin: Yeah, you proved you had nothing to do with the missing cell phone.

Daniel: The phone's still missing. And that was our only lead to try and figure out who shot the fake department of justice guy.

Kevin: (Sighs) Anybody want some cake?

Amber: We just got worked over by the feds and you want to eat cake?

Kevin: Well, this here-- this is a very, very, very special cake. It has very special filling.

Amber: (Scoffs)

Jana: Well, uh...

Amber: I really don't want cake right now.

Kevin: But-t-t...

Jana: Me neither.

Kevin: It's a little messy, but let's see.

(Humming)

Jana: (Gasps)

Kevin: Da.

Daniel: You sly dog.

Kevin: Hmm.

Amber: Uh, wha--how, uh...

Kevin: I might have-- might have taken a slight detour on my way to bail out Jana.

Jana: (Scoffs)

Daniel: Yeah, I-I-- well, what happened to, "I'm not gonna do it. It's too risky"?

Kevin: You kidding me? I would do anything for you guys.

Amber: (Laughs)

Daniel: Thank you, brother. I owe you one.

Jana: Well, now I don't know whether to kick you in the bum or kiss you.

Kevin: Ooh, I'll take both.

Jana: (Laughs)

Daniel: All right, lovebirds, playtime is over, because until we can I.D. the third person in that alley, we are a long way from being in the clear.

Kevin: Hmm.

Nikki: (Whispering) Wake up, Sleepyhead. Its Grandma and Grandpa. We're right here. You don't have to be scared about anything.

Michael: Hey, kiddo. Fenmore's been asking about you. I mean, he's dying to come out to the ranch and s--go swimming with you.

Nikki: Hmm.

Michael: He's even got some new floaties.

Nikki: (Giggles)

Michael: Um... well, I gotta go. Uh, but I'll be back.

Michael: Take care.

Nikki: Thank you.

Victor: Thank you for everything you have done, all right?

Victor: (Sighs) I think you're right.

Nikki: (Normal voice) About what?

Victor: I think she should stay with you and Paul when she gets out.

Nikki: Really?

Victor: Mm-hmm. A little girl needs her mother, and you're the next best thing.

Nikki: I promise, we'll take very good care of her.

Victor: I know you will.

Jill: You're lying.

Cane: I wish I was.

Jill: (Scoffs)

Kay: You are not Jill's son?

Jill: This can't be happening.

Lily: If you aren't Phillip, then who are you?

Jill: (Sniffs)

Nina: He's a lying bastard who couldn't care less about who he hurts.

Cane: That is not true. You don't understand.

Nina: Oh, I understand perfectly. I'm calling the cops.

Cane: Please don't do that. Please listen to me. I need you to listen to me, okay? I didn't do any of this out of malice.

Nina: Oh, bull. You're a con artist. What are you after, the Chancellor fortune?

Cane: Listen. Listen, this had nothing to do with money. I--and I never... I promise you, I never meant to hurt any of you.

Nina: Oh, give me a break.

Cane: It is true. This is true. Listen to me. What I said to you earlier, I mean it. I... I-I did this to heal you. And I-I love you. I love you, and I said that you have become family to me, and I would never-- I would never do anything to hurt you.

Jill: (Inhales deeply)

Cane: I would never hurt you.

Lily: You love us? I don't even know who you are.

Cane: Sweetheart, Sweetheart, please, please listen to me. I-I'm--I'm--I am the same person I've always been. I promise you that.

Lily: Cane, you have lied to me for years!

Neil: You son of a bitch. You're gonna pay for this, Cane. You're gonna pay for this.

Jill: How could you do this? Look at me. Look at me! How could you pretend to be Phillip and let me believe you were my son?

Lily: (Crying)

Cane: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Kay: Speak up, young man. How could you do this to all the people who have shown you nothing-- nothing but kindness since you have entered into their lives?

Langley: He didn't do it. I did.

Nina: (Gasps) Oh!

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Chloe: It's all a lie.

Billy: What? What's a lie?

Neil: You stay away from my daughter! You hear me?!

Cane: (Grunts)

Nina: Ooh! Oh, my God!

Kay: Oh, my God.

Langley: The first thing you should know is the accident that I died in, it wasn't an accident.

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