Y&R Transcript Tuesday 6/2/09 -- Canada; Wednesday 6/3/09 -- U.S.A.

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Proofread By Emma

Lily: So I think we should sample the cheesecake now.

Cane: Hmm, and I think that you should wait for your party, Mrs. Ashby.

Lily: Uh, it's my birthday.

Cane: And your dad, Devon and Roxy would like to watch you blow out the candles, not to mention we have to save a piece for Ana and Tyra 'cause they can't make it.

Lily: Okay, that is all logical and rational, but shouldn't you be humoring me?

Cane: Yes, I know, we should, um, especially when we should be in Australia now instead of Genoa City.

Lily: Ahh, with my husband, friends and family-- it's just so unfair.

Cane: Look, I know you're joking, okay? But I appreciate that you understand there are some parts of my past I just want to-- I just want to leave 'em in the past.

Cane: Mm.

Chloe: Billy?

Chloe: (Sighs)

(Door closes)

Mac: (Sighs) You really want to do this?

Billy: Yeah, I really do.

Kevin: (Sighs) Are you still on hold?

Amber: Are you?

Kevin: Uh-huh. Hey, look, don't get me wrong, maybe going public to plead our case might be an okay idea--

Amber: Mnh, not okay--genius.

Kevin: Oh, come on, "Loveline"? That's--that's for relationship disasters, like--like Marina and Herve.

Amber: Look, someone broke in to Herve and my place, okay? We just--we just need the public to know that we're not bad people and just back off. Oh, I think they're putting us through. Hi, "Loveline"? This is, uh-- what do you mean, "Dr. Drew doesn't want to talk to me"? Did you tell him it’s Marina? He thinks I'm beyond help? What kind of therapist says that?

Kevin: A smart one.

Amber: You know, I have connections with the governor. He can make life--hello?

Kevin: Well, then I guess it wasn't meant to be.

Amber: Oh, no. You know what they say? If at first you don't succeed...

Kevin: Take a hint and stop trying.

Amber: Hi, uh, can I have the number for Rush Limbaugh?

Kevin: Hang up. Hang up now.

Daniel: You're Howard Aucker from the justice department?

Aucker: Just like the I.D. says. Care to tell me why you loaded up my voice mail with a lot of angry calls?

Daniel: Is it possible that there's maybe, um, two Howard Auckers working there? I--an Inspector Aucker got in contact with me about...

Jana: (Sighs)

Daniel: An art theft ring. Said he needed my help. Is--does that sound familiar? Does it make any sense?

Aucker: The FBI's got a separate division for art theft. It's not my department.

Jana: But if there was a Howard Aucker there, then--

Aucker: I'd know about it, and there isn’t.

Daniel: And I've been had.

Jana: You see, Daniel is an artist, and this man Aucker came to see his show.

Daniel: He bought all of my sketches, and then he said that he was from the department of justice and that he needed my help.

Aucker: Did you check his credentials?

Daniel: Yeah, I called the department of justice and asked if there was an Aucker working there.

Jana: (Sighs) But it was obviously you.

(Sighs)

Daniel: He wanted me to help him locate stolen art by forging a Terroni painting.

Jana: Supposedly to lure out some thieves.

Daniel: But if this guy's not with the D.O.J., then...

Aucker: You're-- you're an artist, as in you can sketch the guy?

Daniel: Yeah.

Aucker: You do that. Write down his height, weight, hair color. Why don't you also write down all the contact you have with this guy and then fax it to that number?

Jana: But what do we do if he contacts Daniel again?

Aucker: Just call us A.S.A.P., and, uh, we'll see what we can do. Thanks very much.

Jana: Yeah.

Daniel: Thank you.

Jana: (Sighs) Okay, I know this seems really awful--

Daniel: That poser-- that poser the other day, he called me from a number that was not on his card. Why don't we give that a try, huh?

Daniel: (Scoffs) Of course, disconnected.

(Slams phone down)

Amber: But the silver chipmunk and I are hot news. You know, we could get you big ratings.

Kevin: Huh? Oh, yes, sure, I can hold. Got nothing better to do.

Amber: Controversy is Dr. Laura's middle name. It's too out there? Oh, t--not conservative enough? I, you know, we can be conserv--

Kevin: What? What were you gonna say, Amber? We can be conservative? We're as conservative as Dennis Kucinich.

Amber: Hey, if it gets us on the air...

Kevin: Well, it hasn’t. I think we need to forget this.

Amber: No way. It's too sweet of an idea.

Kevin: Oh, yeah? Well, guess what? The talk radio people don't seem to agree with that.

Amber: That's just because we haven't found the right show yet... until now. Oh, my gosh, listen to this. This is perfect. "Can't get over the blues? Call in live weeknights at..." that's right now. Sweet. It's right now. 1-800... (hums) Hi! Hi. I have a question for Tommy, and he's the only one who can help me. Sure, I'll hold. This is it.

Kevin: Oh, brother.

Tommy: You're on with the "King of the blues." What can I do for you?

Amber: Hi, Tommy. Uh, thanks for taking my call. Um, I'm here with my friend Kevin, and we've got the blues bad.

Tommy: Summer's the best time for that.

Amber: Uh, I guess, but, uh, we're tired of feeling blue.

Tommy: Tired of blue? What kind of person gets tired of the blue?

Kevin: Uh, the kind of person that gets kicked when they're down again and again.

Tommy: I get it. You kids are Padre fans.

Amber: N-no, no, not really. We're from Wisconsin.

Tommy: Brewers or Cubs?

Amber: Um, no, actually, um, this has nothing to do with baseball. Um, we just want everyone to know that we're not bad people and, um, you know, w-we didn't mean to hurt anyone, and we're sorry for all the trouble we caused.

Tommy: I'm striking out here. What's any of this have to do with the Dodgers?

Amber: The Dodgers, as in L-los Angeles Dodgers?

Tommy: Yeah. I'm Tommy Lasorda, and you're on Dodger Blue live.

Kevin: (Sighs)

Billy: Well, read the card before you decide they're toxic.

Mac: "Congratulations on the engagement of my two oldest and best friends. All the best, Billy."

Billy: See? You guys are getting married. You deserve to be happy.

Mac: You don't have to do this alone, you know. You could go get Chloe and the baby and take them home.

Billy: Oh, yeah. I really do wish you all the happiness, but, uh... (Taps fingers) Good night.

Cane: I am just glad that you like it.

Lily: Like it? I love it! Thank you so much.

Cane: Mm, you're welcome, Sweetheart. Hey, Billy, how you doing?

Billy: I'm good. How are you?

Cane: I'm good.

Lily: Spoiled rotten.

Cane: (Makes kissing sound)

Billy: Well, with good reason. Happy birthday.

Lily: Thank you.

Billy: Well, good night.

Cane: Good night. Mm.

Lily: Mm.

Cane: Mm.

(Door closes)

Lily: Dad, thank you for coming.

Neil: Well, as opposed to, what, missing my baby girl's birthday party? Are you kidding me? Come on.

Lily: (Laughs)

Cane: How you doing, though?

Neil: I'm doing good. How you doing?

Cane: I'm good.

Neil: Looks like, uh, we're in competition now.

Cane: Uh, I got the feeling that we don't really share the same clientele.

Neil: I kind of agree with you.

Cane: Mm-hmm.

Neil: So I-is this the loot location here?

Lily: Oh, my gosh, no.

Cane: "Oh, my gosh, no" what?

Lily: You did not get me another gift.

Cane: Okay, fine. You sit down, and you open the gift that I did not get you. I'm gonna get us a drink.

Lily: Okay.

Cane: Mm.

Neil: Hey. Now you'd better be careful. That smile on your face is gonna hurt after a while.

Lily: Can you believe that this whole crazy year finally turned around?

Neil: Do you remember last year's party? Tyra and Ana showed up, right?

Lily: Mm, mm-hmm.

Neil: A lot has happened since then.

Lily: Yeah, for all of us.

Neil: We got through it.

Lily: Yep, you were so angry at Cane, and now you-- you've changed.

Neil: See, you know what he did? He proved that he's one of the good ones, and look at you smiling ear to ear. He makes you happy.

Lily: (Laughs)

Neil: Ohh.

J.T.: Guess who?

Mac: Two months. Two months, and you finally come to see me!

J.T.: Hey, welcome home, Mac.

Chloe: (Sighs)

Billy: Hey. Where's Delia?

Chloe: She's home.

Billy: Is she in the pool house?

Chloe: No, the Chancellor house, where we live now, in case you haven't noticed.

Billy: Oh, so you came over here to hammer me, huh? Come on, Chloe. Just, uh...

Chloe: Come on. Come on where, Billy? Where? Back to a shiny, bright tomorrow where you continue to act like a jerk?

Billy: You're the one who bolted with my kid, okay? I begged you to come back here.

Chloe: Yeah, you fit in that heartfelt plea while you're obsessing over your ex, 'cause that's the family man right there, that's it. Is this really who you want to be?

Billy: No, I am exactly who I was before we got married, okay? I'm a self-indulgent screw-up. We all know that, and, yeah, maybe I can pull a model or two, but I sure as hell don't deserve someone like you or Mac or a precious little kid like Delia, and none of this is news, okay? We all know this. So stop acting like I pulled a bait and switch on you.

Chloe: So this is just who you are?

Billy: Yeah.

Chloe: What a crock.

Billy: No, well, then stand in line with that observation. You're not the only one.

Chloe: You know what? If this is really who you believe that you're just capable of-- all of this--I don't believe it. I don't believe it for a second.

Billy: Then maybe you should reassess that thought.

Chloe: So this is what you really want? You want me and Delia gone forever?

Billy: (Scoffs)

Amber: Is this really Tommy Lasorda?

Kevin: Like-- like the Tommy Lasorda?

Tommy: It's me, the one and only, which my wife Jo is very grateful for.

Amber: (Laughs) Oh, my gosh! I used to go to Dodger games all the time when I lived in Los Angeles. You guys are awesome. Your players are totally hot. I mean, André Ethier and Matt Kemp and--

Kevin. Dude.

Amber: Oh, um... (Laughs) Listen, um, obviously, I-I made a mistake. I didn't realize this was a sports show and that you were Tommy Lasorda. Um, but, listen, uh, tha-thanks for taking our call anyway. Um, it was nice talking to you.

Tommy: Hold on. Sounds like you could use some help. You said you wanted everyone to know how sorry you were. Sorry for what?

Amber: Um... ha-have you ever heard of the silver chipmunk and his accomplice?

Tommy: The Bonnie and Clyde bank robbers? Who hasn't?

Amber: Huh. Yeah, that's us. I'm Amber Moore.

Kevin: And I'm Kevin Fisher, the silver chipmunk.

Tommy: Holy moly.

Amber: Um, okay, here's the thing. Um, it--it wasn't Kevin behind those crimes.

Kevin: Mnh-mnh.

Tommy: Are you saying the chipmunk head was on someone else?

Amber: No, it--it's complicated.

Tommy: Didn't I read that the governor of Wisconsin pardoned both of you?

Kevin: Yeah. Yeah, you did, Tommy. He's a very generous guy.

Amber: Yeah, yeah, a total good guy. I mean, a little quirky, but, um...

Tommy: This smells worse than the "Black Sox" scandal. Two kids go on a bank robbing spree, and the governor of Wisconsin goes to bat for them.

Kevin: (Sighs) What the hell's going on here?

Daniel: So this fake Howard Aucker or one of his buddies breaks into this apartment, trashes it, steals a classic forged oil painting-- I gotta be the biggest chump in the world.

Jana: No. Daniel, no. You were exploited as an artist, as a good decent human being who was just trying to do good for his country.

Daniel: I don't think I have any other choice but to track this guy down and find that painting.

Jana: No, absolutely not. You listen to me. Those people have spied on your friends, they have ransacked your home, okay? (Sighs) We almost lost Amber and Kevin just not too long ago. There's no way we are gonna risk something happening to you, too.

Tommy: That makes 14 callers against the chipmunk and his pal.

Kevin: (Sighs)

Tommy: Zero callers for them. This could be a no-hitter, folks.

Amber: Okay, you know, you're not being fair.

Kevin: Mm-hmm.

Tommy: Okay, let me play devil's advocate here. Kevin, I read somewhere...

Kevin: (Sighs)

Tommy: You suffered some heavy abuse from your father. Is that right?

Kevin: Yeah, yeah, that's right.

Tommy: Hey, I'm no shrink, but I gotta figure that kind of thing stays with you. Someone who was knocked around as a kid might act out in ways they never would have otherwise.

Amber: See, you get it, Tommy. You're a total good guy.

Tommy: But rob an armored truck wearing a rodent head? I don't know. The box score's not adding up for me.

Amber: Okay, did you read about all of the details of his past? Because it's pretty heartbreaking.

Kevin: Uh, unh, unh, can--can we not do this? I've had more than my fair share of head shrinking lately. I don't feel like doing it in front of an audience.

Tommy: You kids called me, remember?

Kevin: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, we called you to talk, to explain, but not to be dumped on. I've--I've had enough of that.

Tommy: Don't hang up. I want to help if I can.

Kevin: (Sighs)

Amber: Do you want to do this? Because if you don't want to, then we can--

Kevin: No. No, I'm ready. I want to do this. Okay. Okay, I'm ready to tell my side. So--so the reason what I did seems so crazy is... is because I am, okay? There, I said it. I'm insane.

Billy: Do you want me to pretend like I can just walk away from my kid? Well, I can't do that, all right? Do--do you want me to pretend like I can be your über-husband? It's not gonna happen.

Chloe: You know, I would settle for you not chasing after other women.

Billy: Mac is engaged to another person. You are the one who's obsessing on her, not me.

Chloe: You know what? I'm--I'm not your consolation prize. We have something. We do. This is not just all in my head, and I have been waiting for you to just wake up and realize that and finally make this a real marriage.

Billy: Oh, it is a real marriage-- consummate and everything, more than once.

Chloe: (Scoffs) Consummated. How romantic.

Billy: Oh, when the hell were we ever romantic?

Chloe: Our version of it? Plenty. We've got the same sense of humor, we--we enjoy the same exact things. We love people and--and gossip and New York, and heat, we've got. We've got that because we ended up married with a kid, and I wish that you would just focus on that, focus on what we have rather than going after some girl who doesn't want you anymore. You're--

Billy: Why don't you give that a rest for a bit, okay?

Chloe: Yeah? You're a grown man. You are a grown man. Why don't you wake up and start expecting something from yourself, rather than just hiding behind "This is who you are"? "This is who you are" cost you a lot, right out of your hands and into Cane's, and that is because he realized what he wanted, and he went after it.

Billy: Listen to me, don't you ever-- don't you ever for the rest of your life compare me to him. Do you hear me?

J.T.: Life's good, you know? I can't--can't complain... although, uh, it's not quite as dramatic as everything you just told me about the Sudan, but still...

Mac: And Victoria is well?

J.T.: Yeah, she is. Thanks for asking.

Mac: You didn't think I could say her name, did you?

J.T.: Well...

Mac: Hey, you made a beautiful family. You can't argue with true love.

J.T.: Even if some of that started while we were still together?

Mac: Mm... (Sighs) Show me baby pictures, we'll call it even.

J.T.: All right, it's a deal. Here, scroll through those. So, uh, you-- I hear congratulations are in order. You, uh, you're engaged.

Mac: Yeah, to Raul.

J.T.: To Raul. I mean, I-I didn't realize you guys were so close.

Mac: We dated a little bit in high school. Grow up, people change. Look at those cheeks!

J.T.: And Billy-- I'm sure you've seen him by now.

Mac: Yeah, I walked in on his wedding.

J.T.: Ouch. That's tough.

Mac: Yeah.

J.T.: Well, well, you know, I, uh, I see Billy around a little bit here and there, but, uh, you definitely hear things. I guess he's not quite the kid he used to be.

Mac: It's not like he's a lost cause. He just needs to let himself be a good guy again. And he--he can be. I know he can be.

Devon: What do we got here?

Roxanne: (Gasps) Oh, my goodness! Not that I'm hinting, but the next time you go gift shopping...

Devon: Mm.

Roxanne: Use the buddy system and take Cane.

Lily: (Laughs)

Devon: Really? Wow, you gonna stand for this? Your son-in-law is making me look bad.

Neil: (Laughs) And every other guy in the place.

Lily: (Laughs)

Devon: Sheesh.

Roxanne: (Gasps) Oh, how many more?

Lily: Ohh.

Cane: There's 22, 1 for each birthday, and they're all hidden with great care.

Lily: Ohh, and, Honey, I only got you one gift.

Cane: It's not my birthday.

Lily: Well, this one is one of this useful gifts.

Devon: "Useful"?

Lily: (Laughs)

Cane: Useful.

Devon: What is it?

Cane: Ohh.

Devon: Oh, wow. Yeah, that's useful. It is.

Lily: And romantic, if you know the details, which you don't need to know.

Devon: Okay.

Cane: There are hearts once a month. What is this, days from my past?

Lily: More like for our future. It's a kind of a road map to a family.

Cane: Ohh.

Roxanne: Are those baby-making days?

Devon: Oh, wow.

Lily: Yeah.

(Laughs)

Devon: Okay, the next round's on me, guys.

Lily: (Laughs)

Neil: Hmm.

Jana: So, Daniel, you haven't told Amber about any of this because you're worried it's too dangerous, and yet, you want to go out chasing after these criminals yourself?

Daniel: I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to her.

Jana: What would she do if something were to happen to you?

Daniel: I know, I know, but you can't tell her, and you can't tell Kevin because the two of them have been all up in each other's business recently.

Jana: Oh, God. So, what, I have to lie to my husband now?

Daniel: I don't like it, either, okay? But as soon as this is done--

Jana: It can be done--now-- at least your part can, all right? I mean, leave it up to the authorities. The fake Aucker has already got what he wanted, and there's no reason for them to come after you or Amber unless they just--

Daniel: Unless I go after him first.

Jana: (Sighs) Fine. I will keep your secret, as long as you promise to stop doing this and stay out of it.

Daniel: (Laughs) That's blackmail.

Jana: Yes, it is.

Daniel: Hey, Noah. What?

Jana: (Sighs)

Daniel: Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm getting it right now. Thanks, Dude.

Jana: What? What is it?

Daniel: Amber and Kevin on the radio.

Jana: What, "Loveline"?

Daniel: Oh, no. You're gonna have to hear this to believe it.

Tommy: This is Tom Lasorda, and we're back on Dodger blue. On this line, I've got...

Jana: It's a sports show or something?

Tommy: Kevin Fisher...

Daniel: Yeah.

Tommy: And Amber Moore. You know them as "The silver chipmunk" and "His partner in crime." They want to tell you their side of the story. Kevin, you're up.

Kevin: Okay, uh, okay, here's the deal. I'm sorry. Like, you have no idea how sorry, and I know all that junk about "Blame it on his poor abused childhood," that--that would make me angry, too, but you know what? It's all I got. A bunch of beatings and time in a closet by my dad, the guy who was supposed to protect me. But you know what? I got past that, or at least I thought I did. So then--then this other S.O.B. comes along, right? And he locks me in a closet, too. And after enough time in there, in my own warped head, I start thinking that my dad has come back. And so what do I do? Do--do I run? Do--do I try and beat him down? No, I-- I just, um, I just want to make him happy because he's my dad. And that meant doing bad things, like taking people's money. And I know--look, I know that is no excuse, and if I could take it back... (Sighs) Okay, I get that a lot of people listening to this are probably gonna think that that is just a load, but it's not, okay? That wasn't me. That's not who I am. I'm not this bad guy who wants to scare people, a-and take their money and give them nightmares. I'm--I'm just a regular guy who--who has his life back, and I've got a great wife and great friends and family and--and a second chance, and, uh, and for that, I am really, really grateful.

Tommy: Sounds like you're ready to move on.

Kevin: Uh, yeah, yeah, but you can't just move on, you know? You've gotta battle your demons and beat 'em down, and only then can you really live.

Tommy: You don't sound crazy to me, Kevin.

Kevin: Well, you know, not "Rocking in a corner" crazy, but if the chipmunk taught me anything, it's that we're all a little nuts.

Billy: Cane Ashby is a smug, sanctimonious jerk, okay? He tried to claim our kid. Y-you couldn't stand him before. Now he's your hero?

Chloe: No, he's not my hero. I don't want to go out on a double date with him and Lily, but he has actually been pretty decent since he dropped the case for Delia, and he's tried to reach out to you.

Billy: Yeah, well, score 1 for the suck-up.

Chloe: (Scoffs) Oh, wow, so, uh, so now you're jealous of a guy who-- he's not in charge of Chancellor or Jabot or-- I mean, he's running a bar.

Billy: Yeah, my bar. That was my place. He swooped in, and he took it from me, just like he did my family, my job, and all it took was... (Australian accent) G'day, Mom. I'm back from down under. (Normal voice) And then she sweeps him up and she puts him under his arm like a shih tzu.

Chloe: So you want to be a lapdog? Is that what you want?

Billy: No, I want what I deserve from my mother, okay? Maybe just a tenth of the attention that she pays to him.

Chloe: Maybe she pays attention to him because he pays attention to her. It's not all about you. You don't give her anything! Do you realize what she has been through in the past couple of months? She has been there for-- for Delia, for me, and she doesn't get anything from her own son.

Billy: So what are you now, huh? Are you the righteous police, after putting a target on my head and then Cane's because you just had to bag a Chancellor?

Chloe: You know why I went after Cane, because you were very clear, very clear, that you were not ready to step up and be an adult.

Billy: Ohh, it's me. So, uh, what you did to Cane and Lily, that was mature? That was upstanding?

Chloe: No. I am ashamed of that. You think that I want Delia to know about what I did? That makes my stomach turn. So now I have to do everything in my power to make sure that she will never be ashamed of me. So what about you, Billy? (Drops hands to lap) Who do you want to be?

Cane: Come with me. I'll show you. Hey, Lily, I'll be back in a minute.

Lily: Okay.

Mac: Hey.

Nina: Hi.

Mac: Everything okay at home?

Nina: Yeah. Yeah, it's fine. Actually, I came to talk to your boss, but it looks like he just stepped out.

Lily: (Laughs) Is it terrible that I'm loving all this?

Neil: Mm, your mother-- God bless her-- you know, she would have-- she would have just piled on more. Lily, she'd be so thrilled to see you this happy-- married to a guy that you love, ready to start a family.

Lily: Yeah, that was a little awkward with the calendar.

Neil: Yeah, well, you know, um, you take your time. Just enjoy each other. Maybe--maybe you do, uh, some more modeling, like you talked about.

Lily: (Sighs) I know it seems fast, but Cane and I lost a year of our lives. If we had never split up, but--

Neil: Right, right, you might be pregnant again right now, I hear you.

Lily: Yeah.

Neil: So this isn't about Cane and Delia?

Lily: No, not at all. No, it's about the baby that we lost, you know? I-it's about starting a family and sharing all the love that we have for each other.

Neil: And that's all I need to know.

Cane: (Clears throat)

Devon: Ay-yi-yi.

Lily: (Laughs)

Devon: Your man put me to work...

Neil: Did he?

Devon: Hauling a delivery-- yeah, at a party.

Lily: Well, Devon, women like that manly sheen...

Cane: There you go.

Lily: Of physical labor, okay? Just ask Roxy.

Cane: Uh-huh.

Roxanne: I don't hate it.

Lily: (Laughs)

Devon: Oh, no? You got anything else you need moved?

Neil: Good. Nice.

Nina: Um, hello.

Neil: Hey!

Nina: Hi.

Neil: Hello, it's so good to see you again.

Nina: It's good to see you, too. I hope I'm not interrupting.

Neil: I'll get you a chair.

Nina: I was just hoping that we might have a minute to talk.

Cane: Uh, I'm not sure if it's a really good time right now.

Lily: No, no, Honey, it--its fine with me.

Cane: You sure?

Lily: Yeah.

Cane: Okay, sure. Sit, sit.

Nina: Okay, great. Um, you might know that Amber Moore and I are adapting Katherine's memoirs into a screenplay, and it's kind of weird, but every time I ask Amber for details about how you got reunited with Jill and Katherine, she kind of avoids the subject. You don't s-seem surprised.

Cane: Well, that's 'cause it's not really an issue anymore.

Nina: Well, it seems to be for Amber.

Devon: Yeah, well, she pulled some pretty crazy stuff to get Cane to Genoa City. It doesn't make her look too good.

Nina: Oh. I had no idea. I can't wait to hear more. Well, it makes for pretty good drama.

Cane: Yeah, well, you know, I'm a big fan of movies, as my beautiful wife knows, but, you know, this is about Katherine. You know, that's who people want to know about, not me.

Nina: Well, I mean, maybe because you lived it, it's old hat, but that you all found each other at all is a stunning story, and I have Katherine's blessing, so please, tell me more. Can you tell me about Violet? I know that Katherine h-had arranged for her to raise you, but that she died early on?

Lily: Well, it sounds like you know as much as the rest of us.

Nina: Well, with a name change, I'd really like to include her in this.

Cane: Well, uh, you know, m-my wife and I have some more presents to unwrap, so, uh, I'd love to talk about this, so can we do it another time?

Nina: Oh, sure, of course. Whatever works for you.

Cane: Okay.

Mac: This was a great surprise. Thanks for coming.

J.T.: Well, yeah, you bet. I'm just glad you're back home and happy. I'm happy for you and Raul.

Mac: Thanks.

J.T.: All right, see you later.

Mac: Get home safe.

Billy: We both knew this wasn't gonna work. Okay, you were right. I'm a horrible person, but you and Delia, you move back into that pool house, and I will clear out.

Chloe: Great, so you're-- so you're just giving up?

Billy: Well, what do you want to do? I mean, do you want to do this every night? This is all we do--we fight. We're gonna fight night after night after night.

Chloe: You kill me. You kill me! You do! You don't--you don't get it. I look at you, and I see--I see charm, and I see-- I see so much, Billy. Everybody loves you. There is a spark about you. Everybody loves you, even when you're acting like a jerk, and if you would just make the slightest effort, do you realize how amazing your life would be?

Billy: Yeah, "Billy the underachiever." That one never gets old.

Chloe: Do you realize that I love you? Do you realize that? You're it. And that might make me the biggest idiot in the world, but I do, and I'm sorry, but I don't think that my love is the worst thing to have.

Billy: If there's, um, something that you want me to say back to you...

Chloe: If you could just let Mac go-- that's it. Just let her go. Then I can make this work, okay? You, me and Delia. But only if you're willing to make an effort. So you tell me, and you tell me the truth, because I deserve that.

Tommy: Mark, from Valencia, California, what's your feeling about Kevin?

Mark: The guy was abused as a kid. Give him a break. Kevin, man, I don't know about these other bozos, they're probably Angel fans...

Amber: (Laughs) But you got my support.

Kevin: (Laughs) Thanks, man.

Tommy: Okay, sports fans, we're out of time. My thanks to Kevin and Amber.

Kevin: (Sighs)

Tommy: I have a feeling you guys are going to be okay, although rooting for the Brewers or Cubs won't help.

Kevin: (Laughs)

Tommy: You should fly out to Los Angeles and take in a couple of Dodger games.

Amber: Well, if we do, we'll be sure to look you up.

Tommy: You know where to find me, and if you can't make it to L.A., you know what my dad, Sabatino Lasorda said cures all your ails-- "A big plate of lasagna and a bottle of my very own gold medal Lasorda Chianti classico."

Kevin: Hey, uh, thank you so much, Tommy, and I don't think you're gonna need it, but good luck to the Dodgers this year.

Tommy: Hey, we can all use some luck, kid. From Chavez Ravine, this is the skipper Tommy Lasorda signing off.

Amber: (Sighs) Oh, thank you again, Tommy. Okay, thanks, bye.

(Sighs)

Kevin: Thank you.

Amber: I told you I was genius, didn't I?

Kevin: Yeah, yeah, and you're modest, too.

(Door opens)

Jana: Ohh.

Daniel: Hey! You still on?

Amber: You heard?

Jana: I am so proud of you.

Kevin: Mm, come here.

Jana: I'm so proud.

Daniel: This your idea?

Amber: Maybe.

Daniel: Maybe. Well, maybe it was brilliant.

Kevin: (Laughs)

Daniel: Hmm?

Amber: Then I change my "Maybe" to a "Yes."

(Laughs)

Kevin: So where were you? You guys heard the whole thing? Why didn't you come here sooner? What have you been up to?

Jana: Well, actually, we were just--

Daniel: Actually, we were, um, researching new art dealers, you know, foreign markets.

Amber: Oh, buyers with accents and lots of money-- that's hot.

Jana: (Laughs) But you know what? Tonight is about you...

Kevin: (Laughs)

Jana: My darling. God, I was so worried when I first turned the radio on.

Kevin: Yeah, right? I mean, who would think that talking things out with Tommy Lasorda would help? But, um, but it did.

Jana: Yeah, well, not just you. I mean, God knows how many listeners it helped.

Amber: Yeah, maybe all the real crazies will stop with the hate mail and apartment-trashing now, hmm?

Kevin: Hmm.

Jana: (Sighs)

Kevin: You know what? I think that this is the beginning of the end for us, in a good way.

Amber: Yeah, no more bad juju for "The Fab Four," hmm? (Laughs)

Kevin: (Laughs)

Jana: (Laughs) Yay.

Amber: (Laughs)

Man: Its perfect-- identical, just like I told you. And that Romalotti kid, he's got no idea what he's gotten himself into.

Devon: Don’t.

Cane: I've gotta make a call, and then it's gonna be gifts 17 through 22.

Devon: Wow.

Lily: Oh, how will I survive the wait?

Neil: Oh, boy. (Laughs)

Cane: You'll find a way.

Lily: (Laughs) Okay. Um... (Clears throat) Excuse me for a second. Um, are you taking off?

Nina: Yeah, again, I'm so sorry about the timing.

Lily: Oh, no, it's fine. Um, I-I think it's obvious that Cane didn't have the easiest time growing up, you know? So he doesn't like to talk about his past really with anyone.

Nina: Okay, well, is there something in particular that I should avoid? Just, you know, like an incident or something?

Lily: Um, you know, I think he just likes to keep his past where it is. You know, so I would just keep that in mind when you're asking him questions. I mean, he'll-- he'll want to help because he loves Katherine, but, you know, it's just hard for him.

Nina: Okay, sure. I understand, okay. Have a good night.

Lily: Okay.

Nina: Happy birthday.

Lily: Thanks.

Cane: Um, we have a problem.

Billy: Okay, fine. Um, I miss Delia.

Chloe: Duh.

Billy: I miss you, too.

Chloe: Good. And?

Billy: And if I can be this guy that you think I can be...

Chloe: You can.

Billy: It's not that easy.

Chloe: I never said it was.

Billy: All right, look, if I'm gonna do this, I have to, uh, I gotta come clean to you.

Chloe: (Scoffs) Great, there's more. (Scoffs) W-what am I saying? There's always more with you.

(Sighs)

Billy: Yeah, and, uh, it's--it's pretty tough.

(Clears throat)

Chloe: Okay. (Sighs) Say it.

Billy: Sharon's pregnant, and it could be mine.

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Ashley: Now I'm crazy because I had a dream that maybe gave me a different perspective on things? Maybe I should be committed?

Sharon: I couldn't stand the thought that I had been with him that morning.

Chloe: You slept with my husband on our wedding day?

Nikki: I'd like to say something.

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