Sharon's voice: Maybe if we could've grieved Cassie together, it would've been different. I still can't accept this is where we are. So much has changed. I think I've finally grown up. But even now, there is one constant that defines my life. I'm the girl who fell in love with you. And all these years later, I'm still in love with you, Nicholas. I know this is unfair as hell, but if I don't tell you, I'll regret it for the rest of my days, and always wonder... if there was any chance that you and I could be together again...

Sharon: Oh. Is--is that, um...

Nick: Yeah. It's the letter you wrote to me.

Sharon: Well, I never meant for you to read that. Never. I-I just--I wrote it for myself. I was just, um... trying to deal with my feelings and--and move on. And you know, I-I was-- that's why I threw it away. I should've just tossed it in the fire.

Nick: I had no idea you still felt like this.

Sharon: Well, just, um... pretend you didn't read it.

Nick: How can I?

Sharon: Give it to me. I'll burn it. We can pretend it never happened. Here. Nick.

Victor: Are you sure someone pulled you out of the water?

Noah: (Sighs) It's kinda fuzzy.

Victor: Uh-huh.

Noah: But yeah, I'm pretty sure. I remember someone grabbing me, lifting me up.

Victor: And then what? Remember anything else?

Murphy: Trying to, uh, beat your last winning streak?

Kay: Can't sleep.

Murphy: Anything wrong?

Kay: No.

Murphy: You wanna talk about it?

Kay: No. Wait, what-- what--what are you doing?

Murphy: Enough with the solitaire.

Kay: Well, now I'll never get back to sleep.

Murphy: How are you at rummy?

Kay: Good question.

Murphy: Hmm?

Kay: Good question. I don't know.

Murphy: Well, then let's find out.

Kay: (Laughs)

(Door closes)

Lily: Is it Brad?

Ashley: No. Hi. It's us.

Billy: Hey.

Lily: Hey.

Abby: So my dad didn't come home?

Billy: Not yet, Sweetheart. I'm sorry. But, uh, Colleen asked us to stay just in case.

Ashley: Yeah, right. She said. We were on our way home, but then we decided to stop here and check out the house.

Abby: I thought maybe something happened to Dad and he couldn't get to a phone.

Billy: No, we checked the whole house.

Abby: Are you sure you didn't miss something? Did you check the basement?

Lily: Yeah--yeah, I mean, we checked everywhere, so...

Billy: But you know what? I think you're right. We should check again.

Ashley: And maybe I'll check Brad's calendar. Maybe he had an engagement he forgot to tell us about, Honey.

Abby: Well, he's super responsible. He would've at least called Colleen.

Ashley: And how many times have I tried to call you and your cell phone was dead?

Abby: Okay. Point taken.

Lily: Maybe something came up last minute, like an old friend from out of town or something.

Ashley: Or who knows? Maybe he was abducted by aliens, you know?

Abby: Nice one, Mom.

Billy: Well, don't worry, Scully, I've got my trusty ray-gun.

Abby: You are such a dork, Uncle Billy.

Billy: Who, me?

Lily: Here, I'll come with you guys.

Colleen: What is his car doing in the middle of nowhere?

J.T.: It looks like it's unlocked. Hold on, I can open it.

Colleen: Oh, my God! His cell phone! He didn't take it with him.

J.T.: That doesn't necessarily mean anything. The battery may be dead.

Colleen: It's on. J.T., what if--

J.T.: Don't--don't start speculating, all right? Don't start speculating.

Colleen: He might be in trouble. What is something's wrong?

J.T.: We're gonna find him, all right? We'll find him.

Murphy: So how much do I owe you now?

Kay: Well, you're up three points, um, $6 million.

Murphy: Boy, am I glad that the guys at the bait and tackle are not seeing this. Hey, you know, you looked real snazzy in those duds that Amber bought for you today.

Kay: Yeah, she has good taste.

Murphy: Yeah, well, not only the clothes.

Kay: Are you going to discard today?

Murphy: I, uh, just checking to see if you're paying attention. Are you gonna wear the same outfit when you see the owner of the pawn shop tomorrow?

Kay: Murphy, I haven't given it any thought. What's got you so interested in my wardrobe?

Murphy: Well, I thought he might be more inclined to help you if you saw--he saw you were all decked out.

Kay: Well, I don't think the way I'm dressed is gonna sway that pawnbroker into admitting that, um, he bought the ring.

Murphy: Well, it's no skin off his nose.

Kay: Well, he'd be admitting that he underpaid me for it.

Murphy: He's just a pawnbroker.

Kay: He also might be afraid that I'd be trying to squeeze him for more money. What am I going to do, Murphy? You know, without that ring and, uh, and the pawnbroker's help, I don't have any leverage. I mean, Michael won't be able to convince a judge to order a D.N.A. test to prove my identity.

Murphy: Katherine, you are worried about something that hasn't happened yet.

Kay: Even if the pawnbroker admits that he bought that ring, the authorities can still claim that I stole it. I just have a very bad, bad feeling about this whole situation.

Murphy: Ah.

Billy: Find anything?

Ashley: No, nothing in Brad's appointment book.

Abby: What about his voice mail?

Lily: Uh, we thought of that, but we didn't have the code.

Ashley: Let's check and see. He's got messages. He hasn't checked it. He's got messages.

Colleen's voice: Hey, Dad, it's me. Ashley said she could drop Abby off at the Athletic Club, so dinner's a go. See you tonight. Bye.

Victor's voice: Carlton, I'm expecting to see your letter of resignation from the Newman board of directors before our next meeting. I have a company attorney looking into the matter. If you don't resign, I intend to proceed with the lawsuit against you for stealing company secrets, you got that? Now whether I win or lose, I'll see to it that you are publicly disgraced. Your name will be dragged through the mud. I promise you, Brad Carlton, I'll destroy what's left of your reputation if you don't resign, effective immediately.

Abby: Why would Victor say that to my dad?

Noah: I wish I could tell you exactly what happened. It's all kinda messed up in my head.

Victor: Well, do you remember someone talking to you, as you were being pulled out of the water?

Noah: Not really. Sorry.

Victor: Well, it'll come to you. Just give it time.

Noah: I just wanna thank whoever helped me.

Victor: Whoever it was that saved my grandson's life is gonna be richly rewarded, I promise you that.

Noah: Thank you.

Nick: So you just... gonna burn this? Throw it away? Hope that your feelings for me go away, too?

Sharon: I asked for the letter back, Nick. Please, can I--

Nick: "You're my one true love. My home, my life, the man to whom I'll always be intimately connected."

Sharon: Stop, okay. Just... please don't read any more of it. I told you that it wasn't meant for you to read. You just... you should've never seen it.

Nick: I did see it.

Sharon: Please, can we just-- can we just forget that this ever happened? I'll burn it. I'll burn it, and we'll just-- we'll never mention it again.

Nick: I can’t. I can't forget. I've never forgotten. It was my fault. I wasn't there for you the time you needed me most.

Sharon: No...

Nick: I let you down. I let us down.

Sharon: You needed to take care of yourself.

Nick: I shut you out. You... the person I was closest to in the world. The person...

[Nick kisses Sharon]

Victor: Thank you, Sweetheart.

Noah: Aunt Victoria.

Victoria: Noah, I'm right here.

Noah: Did Mom and Dad call?

Victoria: No, not yet.

Noah: I'm so tired.

Victoria: Yeah, why don't you just close your eyes and take a little-- take a little nap, okay?

Victor: He told me that someone pulled him out of the water.

Victoria: Who?

Victor: He doesn't remember. He just knows that someone helped him.

Victoria: The paramedics never mentioned anyone else being on the scene. Maybe he's just imagining it.

Victor: Possibly. Although, that would explain how someone who was literally freezing to death made it onto the ice.

Victoria: So whoever rescued him, why haven't they come forward?

Victor: That's the question I'm asking myself. It doesn't make much sense, does it?

Abby: What is Victor talking about? What stolen secrets? Why would he wanna sue my dad?

Ashley: Honey, I'm sure it's not as harsh as it sounded.

Abby: He just sounded so nasty. I've never heard Victor talk like that. Except for tonight at the hospital with Uncle Jack.

Ashley: Well, you see, that says it, doesn't it? He's concerned about Noah, Honey.

Abby: That still does not explain why he would say such awful things to my dad.

Ashley: You're right. And I don't know what to say, except I'm sure that Victor has a reasonable explanation.

Colleen: What are you doing?

J.T.: I'm checking your dad's call history to see if it'll give us a clue about where he went.

Colleen: It just seems that if he left his phone behind that he'd either taken off in a hurry or someone...

J.T.: Carjackers aren't gonna come out in this kind of weather, Colleen.

Colleen: What if he's in some other kind of danger, J.T.? What if someone from his past?

J.T.: Why--why would that happen now?

Colleen: I don't know! None of this makes any sense, okay?

J.T.: Look, it's more likely that he--he hiked out of here and found a warm place to wait out the storm.

Colleen: I've gotta go find him.

J.T.: No, no, no, hold on, not in this weather. You're not dressed warm enough and neither am I.

Colleen: J.T., he might have tried to get out and hurt himself. He might be on the road and in trouble, and I would never forgive myself.

J.T.: It is too dangerous to go looking for him in a storm, Colleen.

Colleen: J.T., he could have hypothermia.

J.T.: Look, your dad is a smart guy. He's a navy seal. He can take care of himself. Now look, I'm gonna call Paul and get a search going on this.

Colleen: Well, can you tell him to come fast, please?

J.T.: Yeah, I'm gonna call Paul and get his friends on the force on this. Hey, Paul, listen, its J.T. Brad's gone missing. Yeah, he was supposed to meet Colleen and Abby for-- for dinner and he never showed up, never called. Yeah, I'm with Colleen now. We, uh, we found his car out on Lake Shore Drive. It's been abandoned. No, nothing out of place. It just looks like he hiked outta here, but he left his cell phone, so we can't get a hold of him. Yeah, would you? Yeah, thanks. All right. Bye. All right, Paul’s gonna call his buddy on the force. We'll get a search and rescue team going immediately. They got the proper equipment and the experts to search every grid, every inch of this place, all right? It's gonna be okay.

Colleen: Okay.

J.T.: All right? Don't worry, it's gonna be fine.

Sharon: Nick... I... I...

Nick: It's okay.

[Nick and Sharon make love]

Ashley: Yeah, Honey, I'd love some tea with honey.

(Cell phone ringing)

Ashley: Thanks. Hi.

Victor: Hi, Sweetheart, it's me. I just wanted to make sure that you got home safely.

Ashley: We're not home yet. We stopped at Brad’s.

Victor: Did he show up?

Ashley: No. We have no idea where he is, no clue.

Victor: Really?

Ashley: Yeah. How's Noah doing?

Victor: He's doing better. He remembers that someone pulled him out of the water. He doesn't recall who. But thank God someone did help him.

Ashley: Yeah. Listen, Victor, there's something you should know. We listened to Brad's voice mail, and Abby heard the message you left for him.

Victor: Mm. Sorry to hear that.

Ashley: It's not good. I tried to smooth things out, but I don't know.

Victor: Well, don't you worry. I'll talk to her later. I'll explain everything. Um, when will you be home?

Ashley: We're gonna stick around, see if we hear anything from Brad, so it could be a while.

Victor: Okay. Bye, Sweetheart.

Murphy: Gin. Hey, that's two in a row. Are you letting me win?

Kay: I'm sorry. My mind isn't-- isn't on the game.

Murphy: Yeah, look, I know I tease you sometimes. It must be really rough, knowing you're somebody and not being able to prove it.

Kay: Even worse, I can't remember it. Do you know the only person I remember is Amber. Everyone else is just a bunch of flashes, nothing more. These... with no memory, the only people who believe that I am Katherine is Kevin, Amber and Michael.

Murphy: Uh, what about that odd duck in, uh, in jail?

Kay: Oh, Gloria? She's--everybody else treats me like I'm poison ivy.

Murphy: Yeah, yeah, like Nikki Newman, that day she was here.

Kay: Some people who loved Katherine, they... those people... might not accept me.

Murphy: Well, they will, after the D.N.A. test.

Kay: Even my daughter doesn't wanna know. I mean, if I could just... remember more than bits and pieces. I mean... imagine a jigsaw puzzle. There's no picture on the cover of the box to let you know what it's like. And as hard as--as you-- you try to--to--to--to solve the puzzle, you can’t. You have bits and pieces. It's all out there and you just cannot put it together!

Murphy: Okay, okay, okay. I-I-I couldn't imagine that.

Kay: Do you know... the life that--that I'm missing seems more unreal that the life I'm leading now with you.

Murphy: Well, don't fight it so hard. Look, you're welcome to stay here as long as you want.

Kay: Oh, Murphy, you're such a dear to offer that to me. You see, I cannot live between two lives. It's like being in purgatory. I can't choose this life, although it's just been heavenly, most of the time, but knowing in my heart that it's false. It's not me. It's not who I am. I, uh... I have to choose the other life. My real life. Even if it turns out to be... hell on earth.

Abby: But Dad was supposed to to have dinner with us. What was he doing out on Lake Shore Drive?

Colleen: I don't know.

Ashley: How did you find the car?

J.T.: Well, the state troopers were closing the highway, and they said the lake road was the best way back into town.

Abby: Why would he walk away from his car and leave his cell phone?

Ashley: There could be lots of explanations. Maybe his phone slipped out of his pocket.

J.T.: Yeah, it looks like he had car trouble. And he could've gone in either direction, the snow covered the tracks.

Lily: Maybe your dad got a ride with someone. I will be you anything that he's some place warm.

Billy: I'll help you look for him.

J.T.: Yeah, look, the state--the state troopers are doing a door-to-door search of all the cabins in the area. Look, I've seen people survive worse storms than this. Odds are, Brad just found shelter for the night.

Ashley: Yeah.

Abby: What if he didn't?

Colleen: Hey, did you know that Dad delivered me? If he can stay cool in a crazy situation like that, then he can do anything.

Ashley: Colleen's right. Your dad's really capable.

Abby: Okay.

Lily: Here, you should get out of those wet clothes.

Colleen: Yeah, I have some upstairs in my old room.

Lily: Okay, I'll help you.

Abby: Uh, would you like one of Dad's sweaters or something?

J.T.: I'll just take something hot to drink.

Abby: Hot chocolate?

J.T.: Yeah, that's-- that's perfect.

Ashley: Okay, I'll help you. It's gonna be okay.

Billy: So the, uh, non-sugarcoated version? What are Brad's chances?

J.T.: Your guess is as good as mine. We're doing everything we can to find him, but this blizzard's making it impossible. If he didn't get a ride or find some shelter, then, uh...

Sharon: Noah's accident... it made me think of Cassie... and us and our family.

Nick: Did the same for me.

Sharon: You know, when she died... all I wanted was for you to hold me and share the pain that we were both feeling.

Nick: I wanted to. But I couldn’t. Not then.

Murphy: It's decaf.

Kay: Thank you. Thank you. I'm still not gonna be able to sleep. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.

Murphy: What are you talking about?

Kay: Well, by telling you I didn't want to live here.

Murphy: That's nonsense. I mean, you're right. I mean, you don't belong in a--in a double wide.

Kay: You have been so kind to me.

Murphy: Well, this isn't exactly a 4-star hotel.

Kay: You know, the more I feel like myself, the more the job at the diner, living here, feels more alien.

Murphy: And well it should. You didn't hurt my feelings at all.

Kay: Oh, Murph, Murph, Murph, Murph... do you know I've never been with a man as kind and loving as you. At least, that I can remember.

Murphy: (Laughs) That's a good one. So are you up for another hand?

Kay: Absolutely. But let it be known, you are in pretty deep.

Murphy: Well, I let you win that, because you looked so down in the dumps.

Kay: One, two, three-- nobody lets me win. And you're gonna be sorry you said that.

Murphy: One more.

Kay: Okay. (Humming)

Murphy: (Humming)

Murphy: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you can't do that.

Kay: What?

Murphy: Well, you-- it's in the rules. You can't pick up a card and then throw it down again.

Kay: I didn’t.

Murphy: You have to keep it. And you sure did.

Kay: No, I didn’t.

Murphy: Yes, you did. I mean, I threw it outta my hand. You picked it up. Don't you remember?

Kay: No! I-I don't remember! Damn it!

Murphy: Hey, Katherine, it's only a game.

Kay: No, it's not a game! It is my life! And it's disappearing!

Victoria: Be sure to thank Paul for getting the state police on it right away. He's asleep. No, J.T., don't worry about me. No, I'm fine. Just stay with Ashley and the girls. They need you right now. Okay, I love you. Bye.

Noah: Was that my mom?

Victoria: J.T.

Noah: How long have I been asleep?

Victoria: Not long.

Noah: Did Mom and Dad call?

Victoria: No, not yet. You know, the cell service up at the cabin is pretty sporadic right now.

Noah: They're still up at the cabin?

Victoria: Yeah, the roads are still closed. But trust me, as soon as they're open, they will be here. Okay?

Nick: It's a blizzard out there.

Sharon: You want some hot chocolate?

Nick: Yeah. Thanks. Wow.

Nick: (Laughs)

Sharon: Where'd you find that?

Nick: I found it in the trunk of the car. I haven't heard this song in ages.

Sharon: Oh, this brings me right back to school, driving around in your pickup listening to the radio.

Nick: I loved that old pickup. You know... when I turned 16, my dad said, uh... I could have any car I wanted, any car, but I wanted that old truck.

Sharon: You know... not many of the other boys had old pickups. It gave you a mystique.

Nick: I kinda felt like... Clint Eastwood, riding around, you know? It was kinda bumpy, I know. It must've been hell for you.

Sharon: Oh, no, it was fine, except, uh, a little rough on my kidneys.

Nick: Why didn't you say anything?

Sharon: I'm just kidding. What, and give up my Clint Eastwood fantasy?

Nick: Ooh. So what other fantasies do you have?

Sharon: Wouldn't you like to know?

Nick: Well, you're gonna tell me eventually.

Sharon: Am I? How do you know?

Nick: Because you have never been able to resist this face.

Sharon: No, I never have been able to.

[Nick and Sharon kiss]

Kay: I want you to test my memory.

Murphy: I'm not a doctor.

Kay: I want you to pick out a few--few cards, a couple of them, and see if I can remember them.

Murphy: Katherine, don't torture yourself. You just made a mistake, that's all. I make them all the time.

Kay: No, no, no, no, it's more than a mistake. Don't you understand that? And--and--and something is not right. I mean, uh... could my loss of memory be due to just a simple bump on the head? I mean, after all-- no, Amber said I was losing my memory before the accident. What--what other reason could there be? I mean, if... my loss of memory... could be Alzheimer’s? You know, dementia?

Murphy: No, no, no, you're twisting yourself up.

Kay: Yeah, but for good reason, Murphy. Now really, I feel like I'm racing against time to--to prove who I am before I lose myself altogether. You... I just want my friends and my family to know that I'm Katherine Chancellor while I can still remember that is who I am. I really need my loved ones around me, Murph. I do. I do.

Murphy: Whatever happens, I promise, you won't be alone.

Victoria: So we play the same game every single night. I tell Reed that its bath time, and he runs off and tries to hide from me. He's such a funny little kid, you know? He hates to take a bath, but the second I put him in there, I can never get him out.

Noah: Hospital rooms are freezing. I wish I had my sweater.

Victoria: Oh, Honey, I'll get you a blanket.

Noah: Where are my clothes? I was wearing a sweater tonight.

Victoria: Well, I'm sure your sweater was soaking. No, no clothes, and I don't see your blanket. Excuse me, I'll be right back, okay? Oh, Nurse? Nurse, can I get another blanket in 319?

Woman: Oh, there should be one in the dresser.

Victoria: Oh, thanks. Oh, and also, um, where are the clothes that he was wearing when he was brought in? I don't want them to get lost.

Woman: I'll bring them to you.

Victoria: Thank you. Okay. I feel very silly. Here we go. All right. You, um... you just let me know if you need another blanket, okay?

Noah: Thank you.

Victoria: That should be good.

J.T.: Billy Abbott’s on his way. Who should he ask for?

Lily: Okay, Colleen's taking a shower. Where--where are you going?

Billy: I'm going home to get my winter gear. I'm gonna join one of the search parties. They're calling in the dogs.

Lily: Well, I'm coming with you.

J.T.: Okay, yeah, you can reach me on this number, thanks a lot. Okay, look, this is who you ask for when you get there.

Billy: Okay.

Abby: Um, here's Dad's dirty shirts from the laundry basket.

Ashley: The dogs should be able to pick up a scent from that.

Billy: I will call you as soon as I hear anything, okay?

Ashley: Okay. Thank you, Billy. We will be here, all right?

Billy: Let's go.

Ashley: It's gonna be okay, Honey.

Victor: Hello, Billy.

Billy: Hi, Victor.

Lily: Hi, um, how's Noah doing?

Victor: He's doing well, thank you.

Lily: Oh, thank God.

Billy: Good. Excuse us, please.

Victor: Sure.

Lily: Sorry. Bye.

Ashley: They're joining the search and rescue team looking for Brad.

Victor: Any news on finding him?

Abby: Not that you care. You wanna sue him.

Victor: Sweetheart, this is not the time to discuss this, all right? We need a little--

Abby: You said you would drag his name through the mud.

Victor: When you get a little older, we will talk about it and you will understand.

Colleen: Well, I know I won't be able to forget that message.

Sharon: More?

Nick: No thanks. Hey, look at that-- a Crimson Lights mug.

Sharon: Mm-hmm. Oh, you know what? There were two of them and I broke one.

Nick: I loved running that place.

Sharon: We had so much fun there. You proposed to me there.

Nick: How could I forget? It's the main reason I bought the place. I wanted to run it with you for the rest of my life.

Sharon: Hey, you know what? Just in case I never said it, thank you. For all of it. Everything. Thank you.

[Sharon kisses Nick]

Colleen: That wasn't business talk, that was you being horrible to our father. You hate him because Ashley married him, because Abby loves him, and because he won't bow down and kowtow to you like everyone else does! You know what? For all we know, he heard your message and was so upset that that's why he didn't show up for dinner.

J.T.: Colleen, you're upset, all right? You're worried about your father. This isn’t the time to start pointing fingers.

Victor: Colleen, I understand your feelings, okay? But my phone call to your father is not important right now. What is important is to try to find him. And I promise you, I'll do everything in my power to give as much equipment or manpower to the search and rescue team as possible to find your dad, all right?

J.T.: Paul's coordinating with the state police.

Victor: Okay. So why don't you all go home and get some rest?

Colleen: I'm gonna stay here and see if Dad shows up.

Abby: Yeah, I wanna stay, too.

Ashley: We're staying.

Victor: All right, um, J.T., you and I have, uh, our work cut out.

Nick: Buzz kill. I guess the batteries died.

Sharon: Hey, are you hungry?

Nick: I'm starved.

Sharon: Well, you are in luck. Because I went to the general store and they had a pickle barrel.

Nick: All right.

Nick: Hey, what about that thing? It doesn't even need batteries. You just have to wind it up. You know, I can do a mean Charleston. I might have to throw some hip-hop in there, too.

Sharon: Um, wait, don't touch that.

Nick: Why?

Sharon: Because Jack brought that up here for me.

Nick: So what do you got to eat in this place? Otherwise, I'm gonna start gnawing on the furniture.

Sharon: I've got, um, peanut butter and crackers and beef jerky.

Nick: Chunky or smooth?

Sharon: Do you even have to ask?

Nick: Well, then let's crack that jar open.

Woman: This should be everything he was wearing when he came in.

Victoria: Thank you. All right.

Noah: I wonder if my cell phone survived.

Victoria: Not likely.

Noah: Every important number in the world is on that phone.

Victoria: Well, here it is. But, uh...

Noah: I hope the sim card still works.

Victoria: Oh.

Noah: My favorite sweater.

Victoria: Looks like it actually might be salvageable. Let's see... here's one... there's only one. Why would your mother buy you such expensive gloves like this? I used to go through at least three pairs of these every winter when I was your age.

Noah: That's not mine.

Victoria: You know, it looks exactly like the gloves I helped Abby pick out for Brad one Christmas.

[Noah remembering]

Brad: Okay, almost there.

Noah: I can't reach any further.

Brad: Okay, you don't have to. I'm gonna get you. Just stay right with me. I'm gonna pull you. We're gonna do this on three. We're gonna do this together.

Noah: Okay.

Brad: We're gonna get outta here.

Noah: All right.

Brad: One... two... three!

Noah: That's who pulled me out of the water.

Victoria: Brad?

Noah: Yeah. It was Brad.

Victoria: Well, if he pulled you out, where is he?

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Kevin: We're just gonna scope the place out.

Jana: No breaking laws just yet.

Jack: Eventually, it was gonna go too far. Apparently, it already has.

Phyllis: Things are not over for me.

Woman: Aah!

J.T.: That came from the lake. Stay here.