Y&R Transcript Monday 1/26/09 -- Canada; Tuesday 1/27/09 -- USA

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Provided By Eric
Proofread By Emma

Nick: Can you messenger the proofs directly to the printer?

Woman: Yeah.

Nick: Thank you so much.

Phyllis: I thought you'd be at Newman.

Nick: Well, I work here, too.

Phyllis: Hmm. So, uh, did your time alone on the couch give you some perspective?

Nick: Uh, like what?

Phyllis: Well, some perspective about what happened yesterday.

Nick: Oh. Well, I'm not the only one who had some time alone, so you tell me.

Kevin: Here's your cappuccino, Lily.

Lily: Thank you.

Kevin: You're welcome.

Billy: Hey, can I make that two?

Kevin: Sure, as long as yours is to go.

Lily: Ooh.

Billy: Now is that any way to talk to your boss?

Kevin: I'm the boss around here, pal-y.

Lily: Okay, boys, play nice.

Kevin: You know what? I'm gonna let Willy have his 15 minutes at the top, because it's not gonna be long before he's back down with the rest of the peons.

Lily: (Chuckles) Willy--that's funny.

 (Laughs)

Billy: Yeah, it's cute, the little tool. God, he's a tool. What are you doing?

(Sighs)

Lily: Oh, I'm just looking for a part-time job.

(Sighs)

Billy: Yeah?

Lily: Yeah, just to pay for day-to-day stuff. I promised I wouldn't touch any of my modeling money.

Billy: You know, with your connections at Indigo, Newman and Jabot, I'd think you have your pick of gigs.

Lily: Well, see, the point is is that I want to work somewhere where everyone doesn't know my business, and I don't know theirs.

Billy: Ah. Well, what do you feel about waitressing?

Lily: Um, I think I'd like it. Why?

Billy: Mm. Excuse me.

Lily: Okay.

Billy: Hey, Jimmy, it's Billy Abbott. Yo. Uh, yeah, I'm great. Thanks, man. Do you have that, um, that waitressing job still available? Good. I will send her right over. Thank you. Jimmy is expecting you.

Lily: You're amazing.

Billy: Oh, I know that.

Lily: So first, does anyone from our crowd hang out there?

Billy: Just me.

Lily: Well, then I can live with that.

Chloe: Oh, look, another stuffed animal.

Esther: Yeah, well, I couldn't resist. Listen.

(Octopus squeaks)

Chloe: Oh, yeah.

Cane: Kid is gonna be spoiled rotten, Esther.

Esther: That's what grandmas are for.

Chloe: (Laughs)  You know, I-I would love for you to stay for lunch, but I actually have to get over to "Restless Style" for a little bit.

Esther: Oh, it's okay, Honey. I have other plans.

Chloe: Let me guess. It's Roger.

Esther: Yep.

Chloe: Yeah.

Cane: Aren't you spending a lot of time with Roger?

Esther: Well, since Mrs. C. died, I've been lonely, and Roger's so sweet, and he's funny. He treats me like a queen.

Chloe: (Chuckles)

Cane: And there's nothing wrong with that, Esther.

Esther: Well, I'm going to go freshen up, and then I'll be out of your hair.

Chloe: Okay.

Cane: You going?

Esther: Yeah.

Cane: Bye, Sweetie.

Chloe: (Clears throat)

Cane: (Sighs)

Chloe: You have to go with her.

Cane: You want me to go to the bathroom with her?

Chloe: No, I want you to go to lunch with my mom and Mr. Wonderful.

Cane: Oh.

(Sighs)

Cane: I'd just feel like an idiot horning in on your mother's date like this.

Chloe: I'm telling you, things are moving way too fast with this guy.

Cane: He seems like a nice enough guy.

Chloe: My mom is completely naive when it comes to men. Do you remember who my father was?

Cane: Um, all right. Look, my mum fired the guy 'cause he was looking too close at the antiques.

Chloe: Yes, exactly. We really don't know anything about him.

Cane: But I still don't want to intrude.

Chloe: Okay, just go and just see if you pick up on any weird vibes, okay?

Cane: (Sighs) Esther, hey. Would you mind if I joined you and your date on--on your lunch?

Esther: Uh, well, no, but--

Cane: It's just that, you know, after my mom fired Roger like that, I just want to kind of clear the air.

Roger: Calm down, Clint. I got it covered.

Clint: Easy for you to say, genius. All you're doing is playing lover boy.

Roger: While you keep an eye on the old broad, right?

Clint: Look, if she's Katherine Chancellor, your new girlfriend's inheritance goes down the tubes, and if she's Marge Catrooke, she--

Roger: She can identify you.

Clint: And put me back in the joint, which means, either way, she's gotta go.

Roger: Look, even if she was running around claiming to be the queen of England, she's not hurting us. I got Esther Valentine wrapped around my finger.

Clint: Then either move in for the kill and set the hook...

Roger: Or what?

Clint: I do it my way.

Murphy: You're not gonna be able to sleep if you keep guzzling caffeine.

Kay: I am too tense to sleep, Murphy, please.

Murphy: Waiting for the doctor to call with your blood test results?

Kay: Mm, that and my lawyer. (Sighs) Mm.

(Telephone rings)

Murphy: Hello. (Sighs) Yeah, yeah, hold on.

Kay: Hmm?

Murphy: Speak of the devil. It's Baldwin.

Kay: Okay. Yes, Michael? Really? Oh. The judge has denied our request for the D.N.A. test.

Murphy: Oh.

Kay: We'll have to think of something else to prove I'm Katherine Chancellor.

Murphy: (Sighs)

Kay: Yes, yes, uh, yeah, go on. Well, I thought the ring-- it would be the trick. Evidently, it-- it's also turned out to be a dead end.

Murphy: (Sighs)

Kay: Yes, yes. Yes, I will. Thank you. Good-bye.

Murphy: Oh. (Sighs) I'm sorry, Sweetheart.

Kay: If I could get a hold of my old medical records, maybe...

Murphy: Oh, no, no, no. Since they pronounced you dead, that--that's not likely.

Kay: Yes, but if I could-- if I could just get into my home-- no, get-- and find where my personal belongings are...

Murphy: Well, we could always bust in there at night.

Kay: Oh, no. Abso--no.

Murphy: I'm kidding.

Kay: I mean--I mean, what if we got caught? I mean, that will even make me less credible. Come on. Come on. I'm--I can't joke about this.

Murphy: (Sighs) So what's the answer?

(Sighs)

Kay: Uh... I'll tell you something. I know that I am Katherine Chancellor.

Murphy: Mm-hmm.

Kay: And by God, I'm just gonna take the high road.

Murphy: (Sighs)

Amber: I can't wait to tell Mrs. Chancellor we found out who the pawnbroker sold her ring to.

Kevin: Yeah, you know what? We're lucky we're not in jail. The guy almost caught us breaking into his shop.

Amber: Okay, "Almost" being the key word. Hey, uh, you got my phone? I want to call Mrs. Chancellor and tell her we're coming.

Kevin: I don't have your phone.

Amber: I didn't leave it in your car?

Kevin: I don't know. Jana has my car. Let me call and see. Hey, Baby. Uh, Amber thinks she may have left the phone in the car. Do you see it? No? Okay. All right, love you, too. Sorry.

(Sniffs)

Amber: Where could it be? Oh, my God.

Kevin: What?

Amber: (Whispers) What if I left it in the pawnshop?

Chloe: (Sighs)

Nick: Hey, Chloe.

Chloe: Hi. Oh, you don't look too good. Rough night?

Nick: Uh, yeah, something like that.

Chloe: (Sighs) All right, well, uh, I guess I'm gonna get to work while I can still fit behind the desk.

Nick: (Chuckles) Okay.

Phyllis: So you're lucky your daughter slept through the night.

Nick: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Phyllis: Well, she didn't know that you weren't home.

Nick: Mm. Well, I did miss not being around her last night.

Phyllis: Nobody forced you.

Nick: Don't do that, okay? Don’t.

Phyllis: (Sighs)

Nick: Don't make me out to be the bad guy here, and you're this innocent victim.

Phyllis: (Sighs) No. You know what? Let me be honest with you. I still don't think that you're taking responsibility for your actions.

Nick: My actions? You're the one who is so threatened by Sharon...

Phyllis: I'm not--I'm--

Nick: That you have to resort to these stupid--

Phyllis: You know what? Let--let me tell you something. I'm protecting my marriage.

Nick: After I have reassured you over and over again--

Phyllis: That--that you're just friends with Sharon. You and Sharon are friends.

Nick: Yes, that's right.

Phyllis: Yeah, that's right, right. Okay, you know what? I'm gonna give that to you that you feel that way, but let me tell you something. Sharon... (Scoffs) I'm not gonna do this with you again. I don't feel like doing this with you again.

Nick: Yeah, that's a good idea. This is not the place for it.

Phyllis: Yeah, it is. That's right. That's right. I'm gonna go look at some pictures.

Nick: Yeah, I have an editorial to write.

Phyllis: Okay, do that.

(Door closes)

Billy: Ah, just the woman I needed to see.

Chloe: (Sighs) Mm, somehow I doubt that.

Billy: I need, uh, a few extra copies of the men's issue.

Chloe: Oh, why, so you can wallpaper yourself all over your bedroom?

Billy: (Laughs sarcastically) No, I need to sign them to give to a charity auction. Okay.

Chloe: Hey, hands off. Those are spoken for.

Billy: You are in a wonderful mood today.

Chloe: We are all asking all the men in the issue to sign for our online auction, so you know, you can put your Hancock on those, and then you can take a few for whatever you're doing.

Billy: Fine. (Sighs) Ah.

Chloe: Now what?

Billy: What's wrong with you?

Chloe: Nothing. I'm working.

Billy: Uh-huh. Well, you've got that look.

Chloe: What look?

Billy: You know, that "Bite your nail" look that you do-- that one right there-- when you're worried about something.

Chloe: (Sighs) It's about the guy that my mom's dating.

Billy: The guy who Cane hired?

Chloe: Yeah, I don't know. He's making me all twitchy.

 (Sighs)

Billy: Twitchy?

Chloe: She's getting all googly-eyed over him, and she just met him.

Billy: Well, some women fall fast.

Chloe: Yeah, and we all know how well that works out.

Billy: (Sighs)

Esther: Oh.

Cane: (Clears throat) Hey. Rog, I hope you don't mind me tagging along.

Roger: Not at all. Sorry I'm late. I had an errand.

Esther: Oh, I'm just glad you're here now.

Cane: (Sighs)

Roger: So, uh... (Chuckles) You thought Esther needed a chaperone?

Cane: (Laughs) Not hardly. I, uh, actually, I wanted to talk to you about my mom firing you.

Roger: Oh, I guess I didn't make a very good impression.

(Sighs)

Esther: Oh, it wasn't your fault, Roger. Jill has a beef with me, so she took it out on you.

Cane: Is that what happened, Rog? Did, uh, Esther and my mom argue?

Roger: Well, she obviously wasn't pleased to have a strange man in her home.

Esther: Well, it's my home, too. I own half that house.

Roger: I was admiring an antique. I'd seen one like it in a museum, but not up close. She became upset with me.

Cane: Why?

Roger: Perhaps she thought I was casing the joint.

Cane: So that's all there was to it?

Roger: Well, she certainly seemed to have it out for me the moment I came down those stairs.

Cane: I'll tell you what. Chancellor Industries has, uh, some divisions that are looking for some top-level accountants. I can make a phone call if you want.

Esther: Cane, that--that--that's so nice.

Cane: Actually, our, uh, Minneapolis office has an opening immediately.

Roger: Thanks, but I think I'll pass.

Cane: You're gonna pass?

Roger: I have everything I want right here.

Esther: Oh, Roger.

Kevin: How could you have left your frickin' phone at the pawnshop?

Amber: I am not sure I did.

Kevin: But it's a possibility.

Amber: Well, I might have left it on the counter when we were looking through the file cabinets. I mean, we were hurrying.

Kevin: Yeah, yeah, hurrying so we wouldn't get caught.

Amber: I'm gonna go get it back.

Kevin: Uh, uh, uh. You cannot go back there.

Amber: Why not?

Kevin: A-- you pissed the guy off. You called him a liar and said he never had Mrs. C.'s ring, and--and b--you know how suspicious it looks if you show up there the day after the place was broken into?

Amber: Then you go. You go. He never even saw you. You--and--and if we're lucky, maybe he did--he didn't even notice my phone was there, huh?

Kevin: Are you high? Your obnoxious phone could blind a person from 50 feet away.

Amber: Just go in there, make up some excuse and get it back.

Kevin: (Sighs) Let's go.

Amber: (Sighs) I knew this was a bad idea from the start. You know how screwed we are if we get caught?

Cane: You know, Rog, Minneapolis isn't that far away. You would still see each other.

Roger: (Scoffs) Long-distance romances never work.

Cane: That's true. You know, jobs are hard to come by, though, in this economy.

Roger: Maybe I'll retire.

Cane: That's funny, because before, at Esther's birthday, you said that retirement wasn't for you.

Roger: That was before.

Cane: Before what?

Roger: When someone this wonderful comes into your life, suddenly you realize what you've been missing.

Lily: Hey.

Cane: Hey.

Lily: Hi.

Cane: Hey. Would your friend care to join us?

Lily: Oh, uh, thank you, but I'm actually here for an interview.

Cane: Excuse me. Come here.

Cane: What interview are you here for?

Lily: Oh, well, I just wanted a little extra spending money and work someplace where I wouldn't run into everybody I know.

Cane: (Chuckles) How did you, uh, find this place, though?

Lily: Uh, 'cause of Billy.

Billy: Maybe you should check on your mom.

Chloe: Cane's on it. Besides, what's it to you?

Billy: (Scoffs) How could you ask me that? It's Esther.

Chloe: So then why don't you date her?

Billy: You know what? I like it a whole lot better when you're quiet.

Chloe: You know what? Ditto.

Billy: What are you working on?

Chloe: (Sighs) An internet piece for Valentine’s Day.

Billy: Yeah?

Chloe: Yeah. Since the men's issue is so popular, we're gonna play off that and tell the girls what hot gifts to get for their guys and tell the guys how to look dreamy for their women.

Billy: Well, just upload a picture of me.

Chloe: Yeah, because you're such a fan of February 14th.

[Chloe remembering]

Chloe: (Giggles)

Billy: Uh-oh.

Chloe: (Laughs) I-I can't believe that our pancakes are made in the shape of hearts.

Billy: Yeah, well, obviously, the cook was sentimental. It's Valentine’s Day.

Chloe: (Laughs) You know what? I pity people like that. I pity people who--who actually buy into these ridiculous holidays, because they're just made up by the people who want to sell the cards and the little plastic cupids.

Billy: Oh, you're preaching to the choir, Sweetheart. You notice I didn't get you a corny little card.

Chloe: Yeah, you know what? You didn’t.

Billy: I didn’t.

Chloe: You didn’t. You didn't get me-- you didn't get me flowers. You didn't get me candy.

Billy: Mnh-mnh. You feel gypped, huh?

Chloe: No.

Billy: No?

Chloe: No, actually, I hate that kind of mush.

Billy: Really?

Chloe: Yeah. I mean, it's not like I'm in love with you.

Billy: You're not in love with me?

Chloe: Mnh-mnh.

Billy: I'm not in love with you, either.

Chloe: Mnh-mnh?

Billy: Mnh-mnh.

Chloe: And that's why we're so perfect together.

Billy: (Chuckles)

Phyllis: This fax came in. I thought you'd want to see it right away.

Nick: Is that a dig because of Sharon’s fax?

Phyllis: No. It's an estimate for the copy machine.

(Sighs)

Nick: Oh, okay. Thank you.

Phyllis: You're welcome. I think it's too high.

Nick: Yeah, I do, too.

Phyllis: Yep, I do, too. Want me to call him?

Nick: No, I can take care of it.

Phyllis: I can take care of it, too.

Amber: It is not my fault the pawnshop is closed.

Kevin: No, but it is your fault for leaving evidence that connects us to a crime.

Kay: I thought I heard someone out here. Come in. Come in. It's freezing, freezing. Is everything all right?

Kevin: Oh, yeah, yeah, everything's great.

Amber: So how are you feeling, Mrs. C.?

Kay: Well, climbing the walls waiting to hear from my--my doctor.

Kevin: Yeah, Amber said that you went to see someone. I'm glad.

Kay: Oh, by the way, finally, I get to, uh, thank you for bailing me out and, um, and, uh, hiring...

Kevin: Hey...

Kay: Michael as my attorney.

Kevin: It's no big deal.

Kay: Oh, yes, it is. Yes, it is. I'm--I'm deeply grateful.

Murphy: Oh, wh-what was this good news you mentioned when you called?

Amber: It's about Mrs. C.'s ring.

Kay: You found it?

Kevin: No, but we have proof that the pawnbroker had it, and we know who he sold it to.

Kay: I thought he said he never bought it.

Murphy: Yeah, and I hear he wasn't very nice about it, either.

Kay: What did you kids do?

Kevin: Nothing, nothing. We--

Kay: Truth. I want the truth, Kevin.

Kevin: W--

Amber: We just, you know, um, we...

Kay: Hmm?

Amber: Broke into the pawnshop.

Kay: You what?

Amber: Easy peasy.

Kay: Well... (Sighs) What if you had been apprehended?

Amber: We weren’t.

Murphy: The cops are gonna be looking for whoever broke in.

Amber: You know what? That jerk pawnshop guy was never gonna help us, okay? And this was something that was way to important to just sit around and do nothing.

Murphy: I agree.

Kay: Well, I appreciate your trying to help me, but I just don't want to see the two of you get into trouble. Understand?

Kevin: All right, yeah, yeah, but check this out. I copied the information about the ring onto my flash drive and printed out the copy for you. The pawnbroker sold the ring to a gem dealer named nelson Harkins.

Kay: $100,000?

Kevin: Mm-hmm. Yeah, that ring is easily worth half a million dollars.

Murphy: $100,000? That's way more than you got.

Kay: I thought I was so smart talking that jerk into paying me $10,000.

Murphy: (Scoffs)

Kevin: Don't you worry. We'll get it back.

Amber: Yeah. We know this is worth way more to you than money.

Kay: It's the only way I can prove I'm not a liar.

Lily: They look really happy.

Cane: Yeah, I know. Part of me thinks I'm overreacting, but it's just...

Jimmy: You Lily Winters?

Lily: Uh, yeah.

Jimmy: I'm Jimmy.

Lily: Oh, hi. I'm--I'm sorry. I--

Jimmy: You weren't expecting a woman.

Lily: Yeah, I'm sorry.

Jimmy: (Chuckles) So you're looking for a job.

Lily: Yeah.

Cane: I'm gonna give you guys some privacy, okay? So...

Jimmy: Oh, get back here, handsome. I mean, we're talking about working in a bar, not getting vetted for the Supreme Court.

Cane: (Laughs)

Lily: (Chuckles)

Jimmy: So tell me about yourself.

Lily: Well, um, I'm a college student, and--here, I'll just-- I'll give you my résumé.

Jimmy: Oh. You don't have waitress experience.

Lily: No, but my dad owns Indigo, and I have learned a lot from hanging out there.

Jimmy: Well, you seem like a bright kid, and Billy's a sweetheart, so I'm willing to take a chance on a friend of his.

Lily: So do I have the job?

Jimmy: As soon as I try your five best drinks.

Lily: Drinks, um, oh, I thought I would be waiting tables, not bartending.

Jimmy: Well, I need someone who can do both. Uh, is that a problem?

Cane: No, that's no problem. No.

Jimmy: Good.

Lily: No.

Jimmy: Yeah. Now I want real drinks. I don't want those girlie things with fruits and umbrellas.

Lily: Okay.

Jimmy: Back in ten.

Cane: All right.

(Grunts)

Lily: Why did you say that? I don't know how to mix drinks.

Cane: Yes, you do. (Whispering) I'm gonna coach you. Shh.

Lily: (Scoffs)

Phyllis: (Sighs) Okay, how you doing?

Chloe: Good, good. Um, I was just about to go through those clothes for the shoot.

Phyllis: Oh, okay, and then after we're done with them, you can take them home for Cane for Valentine’s Day.

Chloe: Yeah, uh, you know, we're not really celebrating that holiday.

Phyllis: Oh.

Chloe: Yeah.

Phyllis: Okay.

Chloe: Right, I mean, not that I'm complaining about it. I mean, I'm all about having the baby.

Phyllis: Yeah.

Chloe: You know, and... well, Cane and I are actually really getting along together, so that's great, but, you know, it's just not really the life that I expected to have, you know?

Phyllis: Right, yeah, I know the feeling.

Chloe: What do you mean? You have, like, the perfect marriage.

Phyllis: Oh, well, nothing's perfect.

Chloe: You have this great business together. You have a beautiful child. You've got--you actually, like, can't keep your hands off of each other.

Phyllis: Um, really? You think that?

Chloe: Yeah. Don't be so modest. I mean, honestly, I'm actually kinda jealous. I mean, you're sort of that nauseating couple that you see in the movies, you know? You just hate them so much 'cause they're so madly in love.

Phyllis: Oh, yeah, yeah. Is that how people see us?

Chloe: Yeah. You know, most of us can only dream about the relationship that you and Nick have.

(Sighs)

Nick: (Speaking inaudibly)

Billy: (Speaking inaudibly)

Phyllis: (Sighs)

Nick: I mean, this "Men we love" issue is killing it. It's thanks to Phyllis. It was her brainstorm.

Billy: It's really doing that well?

Nick: It's unreal. I mean, I gotta get J.T. over here to sign these, too.

Billy: J.T.--wow. I cannot believe the player I grew up with is married with a kid.

Nick: (Laughs) So I'm guessing fatherhood is not on your to-do list.

Billy: No, man. I'm fine being the cool uncle, but raising a kid-- I'm way too selfish for that.

Nick: Yeah, it's a huge responsibility.

Billy: One that I am allergic to.

Nick: I hear you. But you know, for me, having a family was the best thing that ever happened to me. Some days,

Kay: Well, I shall never be able to repay you two for your kindness and, uh, friendship, and in your case, young man, for all the money.

Kevin: I need to get something off my chest.

Kay: What's that?

Kevin: The money wasn't mine. It was yours.

(Grunts)

Amber: I knew it!

Kevin: Look, it's not like I stole it or anything. Look, the night of your-- the night of Marge's accident, you left a bag at Crimson Lights. It had $75,000 in it.

Kay: Now I remember. You owed me the money. We talked about that recently.

Kevin: Yeah. I guess I should have come clean then.

Kay: But what was I doing with all that money?

Kevin: All I know is you told me to come to the mansion, and--and I did, but nobody was there, so--so I kept it.

Kay: Mm-hmm.

Amber: Hmm. And then when everybody thought Mrs. C. died, you just didn't say anything.

Kevin: Um, so I spent some of the money. I-I bought my wife a scooter. I fixed some plumbing problems at Crimson Lights, but that--that's it. The rest of that money went for your bail and to Michael to represent you.

Amber: Mm. Now it all makes sense.

Kevin: I will pay back every penny with interest.

Kay: No, no, no, no. No. No. Consider yourself having repaid me. Kevin, thank you for your honesty.

Kevin: (Sighs)

Amber: And I am sorry I accused you of killing Mrs. C. for her money.

Kay: You--you did what?

Kevin: Whoa. Apology not accepted.

Amber: Oh, okay. You have to admit you look guilty as sin.

Kay: Now, children. Children--

Amber: No, you know what? He has a history.

Kevin: Oh, like you're perfect.

Amber: No, you know what I want?

Kay: Stop. Now stop. Stop it. I mean it. I will not tolerate this arguing. Am I understood?

Kevin: (Scoffs)

Kay: What--what in the hell are you staring at?

Kevin: That--that-- that is so Mrs. Chancellor.

Amber: It is so good to have you back.

Kay: All right, now no more arguing, because we're all in this together.

Murphy: You bet.

Amber: Hmm.

Roger: (Chuckles) My funny valentine.

Esther: I know it's crazy, but it feels like I've known you forever.

Roger: I never thought that after all these years I'd fall in love.

Esther: Love?

Roger: Yes. I love you, Esther. I'm head over heels.

Esther: I love you, too.

Lily: Okay, so what else goes in?

Cane: (Whispering) Gin. Gin.

Lily: Gin, okay. Ooh. Okay. All right, how's that?

Cane: Is anyone looking?

Lily: Uh, nope. You're all good.

Cane: It's perfect.

Lily: Really? Ah, yes! Okay, so what am I gonna do when I actually get the job? (Laughs)

Cane: (Chuckles) Well, you're gonna have to study a bartending guide like you would your textbooks.

Lily: Hmm.

Cane: And before you know it, you'll be a top-level mix-tress.

Lily: "Mix-tress"? Really? Is that even a word?

Cane: (Laughs) It is now. Come on, girl. You have three more drinks. Let's go. Let's go.

Lily: Okay, yes, Sir. (Laughs) All right, a martini is next.

Billy: Last one.

Chloe: (Chuckles)

Billy: Writer's cramp, man.

Chloe: You know, I-I can't decide which one of these I like better-- this one or this one.

Billy: (Clears throat) How about the first one?

Chloe: And that would make you wrong. Here, how about... try this. Ugh. How about... try this one. Ugh! No, no, no, no. Here, how about this? Ooh.

Billy: Hmm.

Chloe: That's perfect.

(Gasps)

Billy: What's wrong?

Chloe: Ooh, oh. Oh, the little booger's doing somersaults. Oh.

Billy: I've gotta go. I've gotta meet Lily.

(Clears throat)

Chloe: Well, all right. Yeah, I don't want to keep you. Um, hey, hey, hey. Don't--don't forget these.

Billy: Yeah, right.

Chloe: Two.

Billy: Thank you.

Chloe: Bye.

Murphy: Your friends sure are characters.

Kay: (Chuckles) Well, listen, I'm so blessed to have them in my corner.

Murphy: Yeah. Well, it's obvious they adore you.

Kay: Yeah, well, their hearts are in the right place, but to go to those extremes... oh, God, I hope they don't wind up regretting.

Amber: No matter what happens, I think it was worth breaking into that shop to help Mrs. C.

Kevin: Well, I will feel a lot better once we find your phone.

Amber: I could have left it outside, you know, dropped it outside my apartment or--or left it here. I could have left it here. I'm gonna--I'm gonna check the lost and found.

Kevin: Go, go.

Amber: Yeah.

Kevin: Check the lost and found.

Amber: Okay.

Wallace: Kevin.

Kevin: Hello, Detective. What can I get for you?

Wallace: Nothing, thanks. I'm here on official business. Does the name "Pogue’s pawn shop" ring a bell?

Kevin: It sounds a little familiar. I've never been there, though.

Wallace: Mm. That's funny, because the owner noticed a couple loitering outside last night, and he wrote down the license plate number.

Kevin: Hmm. What does that have to do with me?

Wallace: The vehicle was registered to a Kevin Fisher.

Roger: Esther Valentine, will you do me the honor of marrying me?

Esther: (Gasps)

Cane: Whoa, guys, guys, guys.

Billy: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy there, Tiger. What the hell do you think you're doing, man?

Cane: Thank you. My brother's right. You guys have known each other for, like, five minutes.

Esther: Days.

Roger: Haven't you ever heard of a whirlwind romance?

Cane: Yeah, but you guys are going for "The Guinness Book of Records" here.

Roger: You're spoiling the moment.

Billy: Yes, marriage is a humongous step.

Esther: I appreciate your concern, Honey, but s-sometimes a girl has to listen to her heart.

Roger: What is your heart saying, Ms. Valentine?

Esther: My heart says, "Yes."

Cane: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Esther: Yes, Roger. Yes, I'll marry you! Yes.

Cane: Oh.

Esther: Oh, Roger.

Nick: So what do you think of Chloe's Valentine’s Day piece?

Phyllis: Uh, I think it's great.

Nick: Yeah, I do, too.

Phyllis: Mm-hmm. Nick, I--

Nick: Phyllis--

Phyllis: (Sighs) Go ahead.

Nick: I hate what's happening to us.

Phyllis: (Sighs) I hate it, too. I don't want to fight with you.

Nick: I don't, either.

Phyllis: I was angry. I said things I regret.

Nick: We both did, but the thing is there was a lot of truth in those words.

Phyllis: Uh, listen. It's just-- it's that you refuse to see the situation with Sharon as a threat to our marriage.

Nick: And you don't trust me, so you act out and make things worse.

Phyllis: So where do we go from here?

Nick: Look, I don't know where we go from here, but I do know that me sleeping on that couch is not gonna solve anything. I need to be home with you and my little girl.

Phyllis: Okay. Well, that's a good first step.

Nick: Want to get outta here?

Phyllis: Mm-hmm.

Phyllis: I missed you.

Nick: I missed you, too.

Billy: I didn't see this coming.

Lily: Yeah, well, from what Cane told me, Chloe is gonna freak.

Jimmy: I tasted your drinks, kid.

Lily: Oh, and, uh, were they good?

Jimmy: Spot-on.

Billy: So she's got a job.

Jimmy: No. (Chuckles) But you can tell the cutie who was teaching you what to do if he wants the job, he's got it.

Lily: (Sighs)

Billy: Oh, I'm sorry.

Lily: Oh. (Sighs) No. (Sighs) That's what I get for trying to pull a fast one and for relying on Cane.

(Scoffs)

Billy: It doesn't seem to work out for you, does it?

Lily: No. I'm gonna go to the ladies' room, so will you be here when I get back?

Billy: Count on it.

Lily: Okay.

Billy: (Sighs)

Billy: (Sighs)

(Cell phone buttons clicking)

(Cell phone beeps)

Chloe: (Reading) "Your mom is sporting a new ring. I tried to stop it. Sorry."

Cane: Okay, um... I don't know how to tell you this.

Chloe: You mean my mom and Roger?

Cane: Got engaged.

Chloe: Oh, okay.

Cane: Uh...

Chloe: Okay, you realize that my mother has had bread around longer than that guy.

Cane: I know. I tried to stop it.

Chloe: (Sighs) You did?

Cane: Yeah, I did, but Esther wouldn't listen. Now I got a bad feeling about this.

Chloe: I told you. I told you.

Cane: Any man who would marry someone this quick-- I'm telling you, something's not right.

Chloe: (Sighs)

Roger: Happy?

Esther: I'm delirious.

Roger: I don't want to wait.

Esther: Neither do I.

Roger: "Mrs. Roger Wilkes"-- it has a nice ring.

Esther: I must be the luckiest girl in the whole world.

(Door closes)

Clint: So far, so good. As long as Marge or Kay or whoever the hell she is stays away, everything is gonna be just fine.

Kay: Michael, it turns out that the ring may not be a dead end after all, which means there's still hope for a D.N.A. test. Call me, please. I need to see you.

Murphy: (Sighs)

(Telephone hangs up)

Wallace: So are you telling me I'm mistaken?

Kevin: No, Sir. I didn't say that, but, uh, this pawnshop owner must have written down the wrong license plate number. That wasn't my car.

Amber: Kevin was with me last night.

Kevin: I can handle this. I was with Amber last night.

Wallace: The same Amber that wanted me to arrest this man for murder, and whose cell phone was found inside the pawnshop that was broken into?

Amber: You found my phone? I've been looking for that thing everywhere.

Wallace: You admit to being in Pogue's pawn shop?

Amber: Oh, yeah, a couple days ago, and the owner-- he's totally rude. Um, may I have my phone back, please? I am kinda lost without it.

Wallace: It's at the police station. It's being held as evidence.

Kevin: (Scoffs) Evidence?

Wallace: A crime's been committed here, Mr. Fisher. Why are you two so chummy all of a sudden?

Amber: Our relationship is complicated.

Kevin: She's-- she's a highly emotional person.

Amber: Yeah, you know, I mean, my friend died, and, you know, I've just been kind of a train wreck and had all these conspiracy theories, and...

Kevin: She's a basket case, Detective.

Amber: Yeah.

Kevin: Yeah, one minute we're--we're best buds, and the next minute, she's accusing me of being the devil's spawn.

Amber: I mean...

Wallace: You two want to play games with me, go ahead. Meantime, I'm gonna continue to collect evidence, and the next time you see me, we'll be talking downtown.

Next on "The Young and the Restless"...

Noah: You know my folks will never go for it.

Eden: Watch and learn.

Brad: We have a binding agreement guaranteeing me immunity from prosecution.

Victor: My daughter protected you. I won’t.

Man: Mrs. Chancellor, I thought you were...

Kay: 6 feet under?

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