Y&R Transcript Thursday 1/23/03--Canada; Friday 1/24/03--USA

Provided By Eric

(Doorbell rings)

 Jack: Coming.

 Diane: Here I am, as promised.

 Jack: Where's kyle?

 Diane: I told you. He's sick. It's freezing outside. I don't want him exposed to that.

 Jack: You could have asked me. I would happily have come over and picked him up.

 Diane: Didn't you hear me? I don't want him outside unnecessarily. When I left him with drucilla--

 Jack: Is he really sick? I mean, did you take him to the doctor?

 Diane: I will later.

 Jack: Out in this terrible cold?

 Diane: Jack, the doctor is a must.

 Jack: And obviously I'm not.

 Diane: Well, if you say so.

 Jack: So what, did you just come here to jerk me around?

 Diane: I'm being a responsible parent.

 Jack: Yeah, wasn't too long ago I would have bought that.

 Diane: You know what? I did not come here to argue with you. I came here to give you our itinerary.

 Jack: Your itinerary?

 Diane: Yes. For our trip to florida. I booked a lovely condominium just outside miami that kyle and I will be spending the rest of the winter in. We'll be leaving in a couple of days.

 Jack: Over my dead body.

 Victor: Let me get this straight. The men who attacked you are coming out here?

 Diego: Yeah, I set it up.

 Victor: Come in.

 Victor: What do you mean, you set them up?

 Diego: I've been in touch with them. Larry warton and I-- we told them you gave us 100 grand. They think there's more where that came from.

 Victor: How do they know that?

 Diego: We sold them on it. Told them there'd probably be more in your safe.

 Victor: You told those two thugs toome out here and look for more money? And then what?

 Diego: We take 'em down.

 Diego: So what do you think?

 Victor: I don't think you want to know what I think. Perhaps I shall throttle you right now and throw you out of here.

 Victoria: Why are you acting like this?

 Diego: I don't expect you to understand. I'm not asking you to understand. Just promise me you will not interfere.

 Victoria: So I'm supposed to sit back and just let you get yourself killed?

 Diego: That's not gonna happen.

 Victoria: How do you know?! These people are criminals. I mean, they already put you in the hospital once, and now you're going back for more?

 Nikki: Well, looks like you're having the same kind of day I a

 Victoria: Glad you're here. I've been worried about you.

 Nikki: Don't be.

 Victoria: Did you even go to bed last night?

 Nikki: I'm fine.

 Victoria: Mother, come on. Talk to me. When I came home, I could tell you'd been crying. Dad made me promise to find out what was wrong.

 Nikki: Oh, he did? As if it's some big mystery.

 Victoria: This is really serious, isn't it?

 Isabella: I have a really bad feeling about this, michael.

 Michael: All right, okay, before we all jump off the deep end, tell me about this woman. You said her name was... kelly something?

 Isabella: Simmons.

 Michael: Hmm, simmons. And she was over at your place, and she was asking questions about james?

 Isabella: Yes, she said he was up for a work release and wanted my input.

 Michael: Which he isn'T. We know that's a hoax. James isn't going anywhere anytime soon. So this woman-- who'd she say she worked for?

 Isabella: Well, I assumed she was a parole officer.

 Michael: And why did you assume that?

 Isabella: Because she said her office was preparing a report.

 Michael: Her office?

 Isabella: Yes.

 Michael: What office? The department of corrections? Did she state that categorically, what?

 Isabella: Well, now that you mention it, she was a little vague.

 Michael: Okay, so absolute stranger shows up, out of the blue, asking questions about your ex and you, what, you... answer them.

 Isabella: Look, michael, I'm creeped out enough. I don't know who she is and what she wants, what kind of game she's playing--

 Michael: Well, we know she wasn't a parole officer. We can be certain of tha right? Okay, this kelly simmons-- describe her. What did she look like?

 Isabella: Dark hair, brown eyes, glasses...

 Michael: What else?

 Isabella: She was professional-- well-dressed, attractive... she had a southern accent.

 Michael: That's it?

 Isabella: Yes, that's it. What do you want, michael, her phone number? Maybe you could ask her out on a date.

 Lynne: Not used to contacts, huh?

 Christine: Well, they're a bit irritating, but they definitely do the trick.

 Lynne: Such a trip.

 Christine: My little disguise?

 Lynne: If anyone had told me that I could stand right in front of you and not even have a clue...

 Christine: (Southern accent) surprise, y'all.

 Lynne: The accent really clinches it.

 Christine: It was so strange. I mean, talking to isabella and not even a glimmer of recognition... it was kind of fun in a weird way.

 Lynne: Chris, come on, we both know you're not doing this for laughs.

 Christine: No, you're right about that. So nobody knows we've been in touch, right?

 Lynne: No. When you called yesterday, I could tell it was something important.

 Christine: You've been a huge help, and I really appreciate it.

 Lynne: We both want the same thing--information.

 Christine: About isabella. 

 Andy: Hey, how did it go with phyllis yesterday? Where are you, man? You're a million miles away.

 Paul: Yeah, well, maybe you should just leave me there then.

 Andy: Okay.

 Paul: Hey, I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. You know, I take that back. I do know what's wrong-- baldwin was here earlier... getting to me, like he normally does.

 Andy: No doubt about chris.

 Paul: He's convinced that she left town because of whatever went down between chris and me after the baptism.

 Andy: Turn the tables on this guy. I mean, remind him what a jerk he was. He turned the whole thing into a free-for-all.

 Paul: He is a jerk, but he's not stupid. And you know what? He is right. Chris left because of me. I am responsible, and I have to live with that.

 Christine: Here's some tea for you.

 Lynne: Thank you.

 Christine: Uh-huh.

 Lynne: I just wish I had more information for you.

 Christine: Are you kidding? You've already filled in so many of the gaps.

 Lynne: I've had my suspicions for a long time.

 Christine: All right, so isabella pops up here out of nowhere.

 Lynne: Yeah. She had the clothes on her back and that's about it.

 Christine: You didn't find that odd?

 Lynne: I sure did, especially the timing. Just that morning I bought paul a plane ticket-- round-trip to hong kong.

 Christine: And enen, suddenly, he's too distracted to make the trip.

 Lynne: You're thinking it wasn't a coincidence.

 Christine: Lynne, I don't know what I'm thinking.

 Lynne: What do you mean?

 Christine: I just keep asking myself, "am I looking for something that isn't there?" Am I trying to blame someone or something for what happened to paul and me?

 Lynne: No, if you took that attitude, you'd never look into anything. You'd never try to uncover the truth about anything.

 Christine: At the same time, I wouldn't be the first person who looked at a coincidence and tried to make it out to be some big plot.

 Lynne: Chris, my every instinct tells me there's more here than just a coincidence.

 Christine: Whatlslse can you tell me about isabella's so-called case, if paul was concerned enough to insist that she move in here?

 Lynne: Well, the threats from her husband in prison, they seemed real at the time.

 Christine: And you said she was attacked at one point?

 Lynne: Yeah, sure looked that way. She showed up at the office in terrible shape--she had torn clothes, blood, bisises.

 Christine: Convincing? I mean, she could have been faking it. Look, I said I don't want to be seeing things that aren't there, but you tell me. I mean, is that possible?

 Lynne: At the time it seemed warranted. Isabella told us that she feared for her life and given all that she'd gone through--all the drama.

 Christine: All right, so if she heard now that james were up for parole, and her story was on the level, how do you think she'd react?

 Lynne: I think she'd be terrified. At the very least, she'd want some sort of protection, wouldn't you think?

 Christine: You would think that, wouldn't you?

 Lynne: How did she react?

 Christine: Lynne, she seemed totally and completely unconcerned that this man, who had her beaten and stalked, might be out on the streets again. Now you tell me what's wrong with this picture?

 Michael: Well, that brings up another very good point. Did kelly-- if that's really her name-- did she leave you her number, card, anything?

 Isabella: No.

 Michael: And, of course, it never occurred to you to ask for it, did it?

 Christine: Get off my back, michael. I'm worried enough as it is. If this is some sneak attack to destroy my life I want--

 Michael: All right, stop! Stop whining. Let me put this together. Okay, tell me again exactly what you talked about. What kind of questions did she ask about james?

 Isabella: If I had seen him. If I was afraid of him. If he'd be a good candidate for work release.

 Michael: Okay, and you said what?

 Isabella: That I didn't want to get involved. I barely said anything. Michael, help me. Don't just stand there.

 Michael: You're not the only one with something at stake here. If she's digging into your past, she's digging into mine.

 Isabella: Don't even try to compare our situations. I have a husband and a child. What do you have, a vague agreement that christine's gonna marry you? No one's even seen her in months. So don't you even think about putting your interests before mine.

 Diane: Don't need to be so hostile. I know we both want what's best for our son.

 Jack: You can't just bundle him off to florida animime you feel like it. You have to get it approved by the court.

 Diane: And as i mentioned earlier, you'll be receiving notice of a hearing. I've already filed the petition. We should be on the docket in two or three days.

 Jack: So as soon as you got off the phone, you went straight to your lawyer?

 Diane: Our son is sick. And that weather isn't helping any. I don't want his cold growing into something worse.

 Jack: This isn't about kyle! This is about retaliation!

 Diane: As soon as the judge okays it, we'll be leaving. Come on, jack, it's only a couple of months. For the sake of your child's health.

 Jack: Nobody's buying your little act, sweetheart. You and I both know this is part of your little game to get back at me.

 Diane: Because you took advantage of me? Slept with me? Touched me? Made a fool out of me? Well, I must say, your upset is hardly my concern. Yes, I do take a certain amount of pleasure in giving you just a taste of what you gave me, but that's not what this is about. It's about acting in our child's best interests.

 Jack: The hell it is. - No! from coast to coast and we saw some pretty amazing talent I'll never forget. Watch this. 

See what I mean? U

 Nikki: Victoria, please don't concern yourself.

 Victoria: Well, of course I'm concerned if you two are already having problems.

 Nikki: I don't want to discuss it. Where did you see him, anyway?

 Victoria: This morning, downstairs. I guess I couldn't avoid the man forever. You know, he seems really upset about whatever's going on.

 Nikki: So how did things go? Were you able to stay civil?

 Victoria: Yeah, I used my time-proven technique of walking out the door before I completely lost it.

 Nikki: Yeah. Sometimes with victor that's the only way.

 Victoria: He just can't seem to grasp the idea that there's a difference between giving advice and controlling people.

 Nikki: You asked him for advice?

 Victoria: No. No, I just told him what my plans were for the day, and he started going after ..

 Nikki: Did your plans happen to involve diego?

 Victoa: Why, are you gonna go off on me, too?

 Nikki: Why do you say that? Is that how you think I've been responding to you?

 Victoria: No, you haven'T. It's just... so frustrated.

 Nikki: I know, honey. I know. The same reason as before?

 Victoria: You know, I've stayed away. I've been really good. I've given diego a lot of space to think about what he's doing.

 Nikki: Trying to get revenge against those men who hurt him.

 Victoria: Yeah, only now he's not just trying. He's actually been in touch with tsese creeps.

 Diego: Look, mr. Newman--

 Victor: What the hell do you think you're doing? These men are criminals. This is my home.

 Diego: Well, I was about--

 Victor: They have guns! Are you nuts?!

 Diego: Please, mr. Newman, just--

 Victor: They nearly killed you, guittierez! You're not supposed to make friends with people like that. Now you listen to me! This is the dumbest idea I've ever heard of in my life! This is my home! I live here with my family-- my wife, my daughter, my daughter-in-law and two beautiful grandchildren! And what do you think you've done now?! You're inviting two thugs out here! They're jeopardizing our safety! And now you want me to help you catch these bastards? And teach them a lesson?! Are you crazy or what?!

 Diego: You were entitled. It's your money they stole.

 Victor: This is your money! I don't want any part of this harebrained scheme of yours!

 Diego: You can't tell me you don't want payback.

 Victor: I've always known that you're nuts and that you're crazyand nothing but trouble. I hope that my daughter will finally see the light after she realizes what you're bringing into her home!

 Diego: You know, we don't have much time. They're gonna be here today.

 Victor: Now listen to me. You're playing a very dangerous game with me right now, because I might just kill you and throw your carcass by the back gate as a warning to those punks!

 Jack: The way you use kyle without even thinking about it, it makes me want to vomit.

 Diane: Jack, please--

 Jack: This is all about you, isn't it? All about your twisted agenda. You don't care what this does to kyle. You don't care that it could hurt him.

 Diane: You are just not happy unless you're up on your soapbox all holier than thou. God, it gets old.

 Jack: You be careful. I'm warning you. You don't want to push me over the edge.

 Diane: Oh, really? Is that a threat? Maybe you've been spending too much time with phyllis. You're starting to sound just like her. (Door slams)

 Phyllis: Oops. Thank you, diane. I take that as a compliment.

 Diane: You do that.

 Jack: You'll never guess what our friend diane here is doing. She's petitioned the court. She hasn't wasted any time trying to get kyle off to florida.

 Phyllis: Oh, really? Is that what you plan to do? W oaw w oawpoawaoc

]

 Michael: Okay, stop babbling. We're all in the same boat. Just shut up and let me think. You know, it's obvious the woman was there to pump you for information.

 Michael: Someone hired her-- private investigator.

 Isabella: Oh, come on, michael, I know when I'm being questioned. This felt different.

 Michael: How do you mean?

 Isabella: She knew about james and why he was in prison and that we were married.

 Michael: When she left, was she at all frustrated?

 Isabella: Not really.

 Michael: Maybe she got what she was looking for.

 Isabella: Oh, great.

 Michael: The only question is what was it? Who sent her? What were they after? At any time, did this woman ever mention my name?

 Isabella: No.

 Michael: Good. At least that's something.

 Isabella: Oh, dear god. What if james sent her?

 Lynne: Are you telling me that you went over there talking about james possibly getting out on parole, and isabella didn't freak?

 Christine: I gave her every opportunity to voice an opinion. Did she know of any reason why james shouldn't be allowedback in the community? I basically gave her a say in the matter.

 Lynne: My, god. I know how I'd respond if it were me and this guy had messed with me. I'd say keep him in prison or give me a protective order.

 Christine: Well, not only did she not say anything like that, she didn't even show a flicker of concern.

 Lynne: Are you going to paul with this?

 Christine: As much as I would love for him to realize that he's married to a total con artist, this isn't enough proof.

 Lynne: I disagree. I think you should do it.

 Christine: Lynne, I would come off pathetic, like a sore loser, a bitter ex-wife who is trying to break up her ex-husband's happy new family.

 Lynne: But you're not. You're worried about paul, right?

 Christine: Oh, god, I don't even know why I'm stirring all this up again. Does it make any sense to you?

 Lynne: I can't answer that for you, chris, but I know I'm worried about paul, because I definitely think isabella is not on the up-and-up.

 Christine: Even if I were right and she did come into his life under false pretenses, there's a marriage now. There's a child.

 Lynne: But if it's all based on a lie...

 Christine: Then she wouldn't be the first woman to play the damsel in distress to snag a man.

 Lynne: Why this man?

 Christine: Because he was vulnerable, thanks to me.

 Lynne: So that's what this is about? Guilt? The way your marriage ended?

 Christine: I guess, I don't know. I don't think either one of us have ever really dealt with the situation. I... yes, I was gone, and, yes, isabella was here. And lord knows she was available.

 Lynne: Or maybe more than just available.

 Christine: Even if she was aggressive. We were still married, lynne. We were on the outs, yes, and I had been gone a long time, but...

 Lynne: You and paul never stopped loving each other, did you?

 Andy: Baldwin hasn't heard from chris either?

 Paul: No. No, he hasn'T.

 Andy: You sure?

 Paul: Yeah, he's as anxious to see her as I am.

 Andy: Somehow I doubt that, buddy.

 Paul: You know, I can't get it out of my mind-- what I did to her.

 Andy: You just-- you gotta take it easy.

 Paul: That's easier said than done. You know, there's not a day that goes by, not a minute... I can't concentrate at work. I'm no good for anybody at home. Until I see chris, I... I don't know.

 Andy: And say what?

 Paul: You asked me that before.

 Andy: Have you thought about it any more?

 Paul: Well, I need to apologize.

 Andy: Okay. That's gonna take two sentences. Then what? You want to try to explain why you forced yourself on her? See if it was mutual? Ask for forgiveness?

 Paul: I don't know, andy. You know, I really don't know. A lot of it depends on chris. I mean, hell, everything depends on chris.

 Diane: Let me make this perfectly clear. As soon as I have the judge's approval, kyle and I are leaving.

 Phyllis: Really?

 Diane: Yes, really. It's practically a done deal. There will be a hearing early next week, and then we are off to sunny miami.

 Phyllis: Oh, because it's so much better for his health.

 Diane: If only jack understood that.

 Jack: I'm warning you.

 Diane: Jack, there is no law that says you can't come to florida and visit your son. You could play on the beach. I'm sure he would love that.

 Phyllis: Oh, I'm sure he would, honey. Hey, why don't you just toddle out of here, and jack and I will discuss it.

 Diane: Wow, you almost sound civil.

 Phyllis: Well, if you'd rather I throw you out on your butt, that's fine. It's up to you.

 Diane: So magnanimous. You know, this really is fascinating. Usually, jack's the one that's in control and you're, well, you.

 Jack: Out!

 Diane: Fine.

 Jack: Only I want the doctor's name and number. I want an honest appraisal of how my son is doing.

 Diane: Ah, phyllis, work your magic.

 Phyllis: Okay.

 Diane: Help him accept the inevitable. Though why you two insist on fighting me is just mystifying. 'Cause you're never going to win.

 Michael: James? Please.

 Isabella: I'm serious, michael. What if he sent someone to check on me?

 Michael: Isabella, stop believing your own lies. James is no al capone, running his gang of thugs from behind bars. He's just a regular schmo doing his time. Now paul, on the other hand-- he was the one protecting you from james. He thought so, anyway.

 Isabella: What?

 Michael: You said you didn't wanna get involved. Is that what you told kelly?

 Isabella: So?

 Michael: And what was your reaction when she told you that james may be released from prison?

 Isabella: My reaction?

 Michael: Yes. You said she asked you if you were afraid of him.

 Isabella: Yeah, I said no, it didn't matter if he was released from prison.

 Michael: Tell me you didn'T. Tell me you did not do that.

 Isabella: Michael, I wanted her to leave. If I seemed worried, she would've wanted a statement, maybe I wouldn't even had to testify.

 Michael: ,H, isabella!

 Isabella: What? What?! Michael, tell me! You're scaring me.

 Michael: Your cover story-- the one you told paul about james having you stalked, that he had a gang of thugs that were going to harass you. Whoever sent this woman-- if they're questioning that story...

 Isabella: Oh, god.

 Michael: You see what's going on? Yeah, you see the discrepancy? You know, a woman who's being terrorized by a man in prison, upon hearing that he might be released, she could be deeply concerned. She may even demand a restraining order, but you, on the other hand, you're completely blasé.

 Isabella: No, I was telling the truth.

 Michael: Yeah, well, that's the last thing you wanna do if you've been lying your head off since you hit town.

 Isabella: Michael, that was so long.

 Michael: Everything you have, this sweet little dream you've built-- it's all based on that lie.

 Isabella: You honestly think that paul sent that woman?

 Michael: Paul. No, no. I think if paul had suspicions about you, you'd know, but I do know there is someone who does have suspicions.

 Isabella: Paul's mother.

 Michael: Mary. Suspicions, yes. Wherewithal, doubtful. I mean, she's a nosy old bag, but I doubt she's up to hiring spies. Lynne... lynne, on the other hand... lynne's another story.

 Christine: Lynne, some very heavy, very bizarre stuff went down between paul and me. My feelings-- I don't wanna go there. What I wanna figure out is how isabella wormed her way into paul's life, because something just doesn't connect up.

 Lynne: Seems to me your visit today raised some very interesting questions.

 Christine: Didn't it, though?

 Lynne: You don't think paul ought to know?

 Christine: Not from me, not right now.

 Lynne: Chris, he wants to see you in the worst way. He hasn't been himself since the baptism.

 Christine: Lynne...

 Lynne: Sometimes I catch him talking to himself, only I think he's really thinking of things to say to you.

 Cisistine: I'm just not ready.

 Lynne: What's your next move?

 Christine: Uh, I figure that I'd hide out here for a while, observe the marriage,y and get some mdirt on isabella.

 Lynne: And what about your fiancé michael?

 Christine: My whole world has been turned upside down. At the same time, he doesn't deserve to be left dangling. Chris, if you're not sure, if you're not absolutely positivehahat this marriage is right--

 Christine: Lynne, I'm not sure of much of anything these days.

 Lynne: Does that include your feelings for paul?

 Christine: You ask too many questions, you know that? I have a lot to work out. Let's just leave it at that. Okay, I'm gonna head back out there.

 Lynne: You want company?

 Christine: Um, no, no. You better not.

 Andy: When you see chris, and she says what you did was definitely not what she wanted, and she's furious about it, what are you gonna do? Apologize? Walk away?

 Paul: I don't know. I don't know.

 Andy: What about if she saidshe wanted you to make love to her? What are you gonna do then? Abandon your family? You can't do that to them. You can't do it to yourself, man. Look, I don't blame you for not wanting to deal with this, but you have to.

 Paul: Yeah, well, I can'T. I can't deal with it, not until I know how chris feels. I mean, god, andy, if she feels like...

 Andy: Paul... rape is not about sex, okay? It's about power and humiliation, and what you and chris did-- it seems to me was not that at all. It was about passion, you know, unfinished business-- two people who would not let go.

 Paul: Yeah, well, you weren't there.

 Andy: No, I wasn't, and obviously, you went way too far, but still...

 Paul: It never should have happened. That's one thing I know. It never should have happed.D.

 Jack: Diane cannot take my son away from me. I'm not gonna let it happen. There's gotta be some way to stop her.

 Phyllis: Sweetie, sweetie, calm down.

 Jack: Calm down? You really expect me to calm down now?

 Phyllis: Listen, she's pushing your buttons, and you're reacting to it. It's exactly what she wants.

 Jack: I cannot believe I'm hearing this from you.

 Phyllis: I know. It's amazing, isn't it?

 Jack: What, you really don't care? Is that what's happening?

 Phyllis: Listen, how many times have you told me in the past few days, "let this woman's garbage roll off your back, phyllis"? Well, that's what I'm doing. I think you should relax. In fact, I think that we should let fate do its thing.

 Nikki: Diego found those thugs? He's actually spoken to them?

 Victoria: Oh, yeah. I mean, when he told me, I just couldn't believe it.

 Nikki: Oh, my god. And what does he intend to do?

 Victoria: I have no idea. I mean, he's got this scheme. He's out to prove himself. I mean, it's this macho pride. It makes me sick. I couldn't take it. I had to walk out.

 Nikki: All right, look. Until this whole thing is settled and these men are behind bars, I want you to stay away from diego.

 Victoria: Fine, dad.

 Nikki: Honey, I'm sorry, but this time I have to agree with him. This is very dangerous business.

 Victoria: Don't worry. I'm not sticking around for the cops and robbers garbage.

 Nikki: (Sighs) aren't we the pair?

 Victoria: What do you mean?

 Nikki: Well... just that we've both learned something about the men in our lives that we don't particularly like.

 Victoria: I know better than to ask.

 Nikki: Please don'T.

 Victoria: You know, men are always complaining about how women are so infuriating. Why don't they take a look at themselves for a change?

 Nikki: Hmm. If I had the answer to that...

 Victoria: Maybe there are no answers, mother. I mean, it's about time I realized that.

 Diego: Larry warton and I-- we're counting on you to help us nail these lowlifes.

 Victor: Mr. Guittierez...

 Victor: This is sheer idiocy, you know that?

 Diego: Just say you're in.

 Victor: You leave me no choice.

 Diego: Thank you.

 Victor: Listen to me. You do it my way, you got that?

 Diego: But I--

 Victor: I don't give a damn what cockamamie scheme you and larry warton have come up with. Around here, we do it my way. Th means we contact the cops.

 Diego: Mr. Newman, with all due respect, we--

 Victor: I'm telling you one last time, around here, I'm in charge. You do exactly as I tell you. You got that?

 Phyllis: Jack, here. Ohh, let me help you. I'm gonna make it all better.

 Jack: Have you lost your mind?

 Phyllis: I don't think so.

 Jack: Then why are you behaving this way? She's not playing around. She's gonna follow through with this.

 Phyllis: I know that. I understand. I think we have something to talk about. Listen--ooh! Look at you. You're all tense.

 Jack: Honey...

 Phyllis: Tense man. Why don't you come over here? I'll give you a massage.

 Jack: Oh, no, I don't want a massage.

 Phyllis: Just sit down. You need to relax. See? There you go. Isn't that better?

 Jack: Honey, this-- this isn't gonna work.

 Phyllis: Oh, jack. Look at you. You know, you need to quiet down that brain of yours, and I... have just the thing. What a coincidence. Look it there.

Ta-da!

 Jack: Champagne? What are we celebratg,g, my son leaving town?

 Phyllis: I think you should get a hold of yourself. Ha. How funny. Isn't that what you've been telling me all these months?

 Jack: I can't believe diane--

 Phyllis: Whoo! Oh, yes!

 Jack: Phyllis, phyllis, I don't want champagne.

 Phyllis: Humor me.

 Jack: (Sighs)

 Phyllis: I think you'll be glad you did.

 Phyllis: I would like to propose a toast.

 Jack: Oh, come on, phyllis. Let's not do this, please.

 Phyllis: I would like to give you something special.

 Jack: I thought I would never say this to you, but I am not in the mood.

 Phyllis: It's not that. It's something else. (Whispering) and it's right down here. See?

 Jack: Phyllis.

 Phyllis: Why don't you just dive in?

 Paul: Chris didn't want it to go as far as it did. You know... I know her feelings are confused. So are mine. But if I had backed off, it never would have happened. She never would have gone through with it.

 Andy: Maybe you wouldn't have either if you had just taken a moment to think.

 Paul: Oh, andy, I was so angry. I couldn't see. I kissed her. She kissed me back. I just got carried away.

 Andy: It happens, okay?

 Paul: You know...

 Paul: You're really the best friend anybody could ask for, and I appreciate everything you're trying to do for me here.

 Andy: I'm saying the right things. Paul, paul, paul, I'm not trying to whitewash any of this, okay? But I know you, and you're not a violent guy, okay? And I think maybe u're just being a little hard on yourself here.

 Paul: I am responsible. I lie awake nights thinking about chris out there all by herself, alone dealing with this because of me and what I did.

 Paul: If I could take it back in a second, I would. But I can'T. It is something I have to deal with. It's something I have to live with. I wish to god I could take it back, but I can'T.

 Jack: I don't wanna do this. This is starting to get annoying.

P phyllis: Reach down, please. There's a prize in there. It's more than usual.

 Jack: Phyllis, how many times do I have to say--

 Phyllis: Jack, please, reach down my top!

 Jack: I don't wanna do this.

 Phyllis: I'm telling you-- give me your hand. Reach down there. It's the answers to your prayers. Right there. (Giggles) there you go. Ooh, ooh. What's that?

 Jack: What is this?

 Phyllis: Read it.

 Jack: Oh, my god.

Oh, my god.

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