One Life to Live Transcript Monday 7/22/13
Aired on OWN on 9/3/13

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Episode #31 ~ Who the Hell Are You?

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Gisele

Voice Mail: Record your message after the tone.

[Beep]

Dorian: Oh! David, hi. I got your answering machine. I just wanted to assure you that there are no hard feelings. In fact, I found a few of your things that you left behind, and, uh, I've put them in the foyer. You can, uh, stop by and, uh, pick them up. Ciao.

Matthew: I wish you didn't have to go.

Michelle: Me, too. But my shift starts soon. [Sighs] And Cinderella has to turn back into a maid.

Matthew: Oh. Well, then, can you leave me a glass slipper? Something to remember you by?

Michelle: You have plenty of memories to remember me by.

Matthew: Come here.

Michelle: Why?

Michelle: 'Cause that maid outfit has to come off one more time. [Chuckles] Hi.

Jack: [Sighs] [Sighs]

Shaun: [Sighs]

Jack: Hey! Um, Ms. Lane. Hi, Jack. I have a question about this book report you have me writing.

Kate: Jack, I'm in a rush. Um, let's talk about it in class this afternoon.

Shaun: [Sighs]

Blair: Last night was a mistake.

Todd: Oh, you bet.

Blair: It can never happen again.

Todd: Never.

Blair: You know, we were finally over each other.

Todd: Uh-huh.

Blair: Mm-hmm.

Todd: And, uh... I'm terrible for you.

Blair: Yes, you are.

Todd: All I ever do is hurt you. Break your heart.

Blair: Lie, cheat, disappear.

Todd: I know.

Blair: [Voice breaking] I'm afraid of losing you again.

Todd: You're not gonna lose me.

Michelle: Thanks for making my first time perfect.

Matthew: It was perfect for me, too. [Kiss] Where are you going with those?

Michelle: We didn't use them, so it's really wasteful to wash them twice.

Matthew: Oh. Very eco-friendly.

Michelle: I'll just put them back on my cart. [Gasps] Oh, my God. My cart has been out there all night. Oh, my God. [Gasps]

Matthew: Well, I hope they didn't tow it away.

Michelle: [Chuckles] I'll see you soon.

Matthew: Counting on it. Actually, it'll have to be at my apartment, though, 'cause I can't afford this place another night. [Chuckles]

Michelle: That's okay.

Matthew: Really? You don't mind putting up with my cramped room and my roommates and the fact that I don't have a stack of clean towels?

Michelle: Steal them. I won't tell.

Matthew: [Chuckles]

Tea: Oh, this is a nice surprise. Come on in.

Dani: Just came to say hi and make sure that you're still breathing. [Sarcastically]

Tea: Ha ha ha.

Dani: Are you sure you're okay?

Tea: I'm fine.

Dani: Mom, Mom, coffee? Really? You think that's a good idea?

Tea: Dani, you heard the doctor. It was a panic attack. That's all.

Dani: You spent the night in the emergency room.

Tea: Yes, that's because you and everyone else overreacted. Do you want something to eat?

Dani: You -- you really don't want to talk about what happened, what got you so worked up that you passed out cold and couldn't breathe?

Tea: You're right. I don't want to talk about it. Strawberries?

Dani: You can't ignore this. Mom, think about everything you've been through. There's definitely a mind/body connection here.

Tea: Thank you so much, Dr. Dani.

Dani: Would you stop? Can you just take me seriously, listen to me for one minute?

Tea: Okay. You have exactly 60 seconds. Go.

Dani: Okay, you lost the baby, you lost your husband, he came back, he left again, I overdosed. Let's not forget the shooting and -- and the fact that the mob is after us. Stress much?

Tea: You're right. I've got a couple things going on.

Dani: And you've done great. But...even the strongest woman in the world needs help sometimes.

Tea: You mean medications?

Dani: No, I mean you can lean on me, mom, as much as you need to.

Arturo: I'm so glad you called, Commissioner. I was afraid your team had forgotten about Briana.

Bo: No, no, no, no. We haven't forgotten, but, uh, this is -- this is tricky.

Arturo: Why? You know who saw her last. Wasn't he a good lead?

Bo: No, I'm sorry. I can't discuss this case with you.

Arturo: Then why'd you call me?

Bo: Because I have a few more questions for you.

Arturo: Please. How can I help?

Bo: Now, you had a-a romantic relationship with Briana.

Arturo: That's correct.

Bo: Which included paying her for sex?

Arturo: That's a bit crude and far from accurate.

Bo: I know, I know, but you've already admitted that you, uh, paid all of her expenses.

Arturo: We were involved. That's hardly illegal.

Bo: Mr. Bandini, believe me, I am not accusing you of anything, okay? I'm just trying to get to the bottom of this.

Arturo: I'm sorry. This is... really difficult for me.

Bo: I know. I know. I'm sure that it is.

Arturo: That...other man, the one she was with that last night, was he paying for sex?

Bo: Look, I can't --

Arturo: Discuss the case. Yes. Yes.

Bo: Where did you meet her?

Arturo: At Shelter. It was her favorite spot. [Chuckles]

Bo: Did you pick her up?

Arturo: Actually, she came over to me. I was sitting alone.

Briana: Hi. This seat taken?

Arturo: It is now. Please. Sit down.

Briana: I'm Briana.

Arturo: Arturo. Arturo Bandini.

Briana: Come here often?

Arturo: No, I'm not from Llanview. How about you?

Briana: I live here. I'm a law student at LLU.

Bo: Did you never consider that you just might have been a mark?

Arturo: Excuse me?

Bo: That she was setting you up?

Arturo: That's impossible.

Bo: Is it?

Jack: You know, I'm getting sick of this.

Shaun: [Sighs]

Jack: Your job is ruining my life.

Shaun: That's really unfortunate.

Jack: So, when's it gonna stop?

Shaun: You're gonna have to ask Mr. Manning.

Jack: You know what? I will. I...will. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Sorry.

Shaun: You must be out of your mind.

[Door opens]

Matthew: You okay?

Clint: I'm fine.

Matthew: You don't look fine. What's going on?

Clint: Not your problem.

Matthew: Hey, I don't just work here, okay? I'm family. You can talk to me.

Clint: Right.

Matthew: I'm serious. You need some coffee.

Clint: I don't want coffee.

Matthew: Just drink it. And take a shower. This place smells like a gym.

Clint: Viki and I are finished.

Matthew: Wow. Why?

Clint: [Scoffs] I can't talk to you. You're Bo's kid.

Matthew: And I'm your nephew. And assistant. Okay? I won't tell anybody. Not my mom, my dad, no one.

Clint: Okay. How long has this been sitting there?

Matthew: Oh, just drink it.

Clint: Fine. [Groans] You know, the thing is that Viki, she lost a lot of money in that Pellegrino fiasco.

Matthew: Right. I read about that.

Clint: But I secretly covered her losses.

Matthew: That's a good thing. Romantic, even.

Clint: That's what I thought.

Matthew: Yeah.

Clint: But she didn't. She called me controlling and other names that we don't need to get into.

Matthew: Ouch.

Clint: But I did it secretly because her stupid pride wouldn't allow her to take the money any other way, and I knew that.

Matthew: I'm so sorry, Uncle Clint.

Clint: Where's scotch? Where's my scotch?

Matthew: You know, hey, why don't we just stick to coffee, okay? You got to pull yourself together, Uncle Clint. We got to get you ready for the photographer.

Clint: What photographer?

Matthew: Uh, you know, man of the year. You're man of the year for Llanview Veterans Organization?

Clint: Well, cancel that.

Matthew: I can't.

Clint: I said cancel it!

Viki: Dorian, what are you doing here?

Dorian: We had an appointment. The steering committee.

Viki: Oh, my God. The gala. I forgot. Do come in.

Dorian: You forgot? And where's Nigel?

Viki: I have no idea.

Dorian: I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry. Things are that bad between you and Clint?

Viki: Oh, Dorian, don't. Don't even try.

Dorian: Fine. Very well. Uh, the printer for the program of the man of the year gala has a deadline -- this afternoon.

Viki: Yes, and if I'm not mistaken, the, uh, program was your responsibility.

Dorian: Yes, but Clint keeps canceling his appointments for the photo shoots, and we need that photo, like, now.

Viki: So, call his office. If he's not there, he has a very large staff. Someone will know where he is.

Dorian: I see.

Viki: You see absolutely nothing.

Dorian: And I see that you're not wearing your engagement ring.

Todd: I was serious before.

Blair: Me, too.

Todd: About not losing me.

Blair: I can't have that conversation now.

Todd: I don't see why not. What else do I have to do to prove it to you? I'm right here.

Blair: You're good in a time of crisis, but... what happens when all of this is behind us?

Todd: We go back to a normal life.

Blair: Really?

Todd: Yeah.

Blair: We don't do normal. We can't change who we are.

Todd: I think you like who I am.

Blair: I like you, too.

Dani: [Chuckles] Thanks. Okay. So, well, obviously the boot camp wasn't a great idea.

Tea: You think?

Dani: But exercising is such a good stress relief, you know?

Tea: Really?

Dani: Would you take me seriously? I'm serious, Mom. We need to find something to mellow you out.

Tea: In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not the most mellow person on the planet.

Dani: Yeah, exactly. When you get a wake-up call, you... I mean, do you know what stress can do to a person's immune system?

Tea: Yes, I actually do. Okay, you're right. I have a lot going on, but it's not like I'm gonna be able to, like, just light a candle and meditate my problems away, all right?

Dani: Okay. But you can talk. You can share.

Tea: Yeah. With my own personal psych major?

Dani: Yes. And you can cook your own personal psych major breakfast while you share any day of the week you want to.

Tea: Deal. [Clears throat] That is such a beautiful scarf.

Dani: Yeah?

Tea: Where did you get that?

Dani: Oh, oh, it was a present.

Tea: Did Todd give it to you?

Dani: No. No.

Tea: Are you seeing someone?

Dani: No.

Tea: Oh, my God! Who is he? Do I know him?

Dani: I'm not!

Tea: Come on. You can tell me.

Dani: No.

Tea: I thought we were gonna share.

Dani: You're supposed to share. I'm supposed to listen.

Tea: Yeah. That's why I always hated therapy. I've had my fill of one-way relationships.

Dani: I'm not seeing anyone, okay? This is... the girl that died, Briana?

Tea: Yeah.

Dani: Her family gave me some things, and this is one of them.

Tea: Oh, Dani, I'm sorry.

Dani: No, it's okay.

Tea: Please forgive me.

Dani: No, seriously, Mom. It's fine. I have to go to class. I'm gonna be late. Call me when you want to talk, okay?

Tea: I love you.

Dani: Love you, too.

Tea: And I'm gonna be okay.

Dani: Me, too. [Chuckles] Bye.

[Door opens]

Bo: I guess I just don't get it. I mean, did Briana just come up to you and say, uh, "Hey, how would you like to pay all my expenses and then I'll smile pretty, and I'll make you happy"?

Arturo: Haven't you ever bought anything for someone you're involved with?

Bo: Yeah, but buying something for a woman and then keeping a young girl -- those are two different things.

Arturo: [Chuckles] You are incredibly traditional, aren't you?

Bo: Yep. Tell me about the night you met.

Briana: My parents always said I was born to be a lawyer.

Arturo: And you made it to law school? You must be very determined.

Briana: I don't have a choice. It's just me. No one's gonna take care of me if I don't take care of myself.

Arturo: Looks like you're taking quite good care of yourself. You're a beautiful girl.

Briana: Thank you.

Arturo: Can I buy you a drink?

Briana: I'd like that.

Bo: So, how did you get from one drink to the whole kit and caboodle?

Arturo: Pardon me?

Bo: I mean, how did she reel you in?

Arturo: She didn't. I fell in love with her.

Bo: Right.

Arturo: You don't seem too convinced.

Bo: Well, it's hard to talk about love when, uh, this girl is seeing other guys on the side.

Arturo: Guys? Wait, you found more than that one?

Bo: Not yet. We're looking.

Arturo: Knowing there was another man in Briana's life... breaks my heart. But I care more about getting justice for her than I do about my own feelings, so I want to help you any way I can.

Clint: Well, look at me. Man of the year.

Matthew: All right. You know what? Go to the bathroom. Take a shower. Shave. Put on a clean shirt. You're gonna feel like a new man.

Clint: [Sighs] If only if it were that easy, that simple.

Matthew: There's really no time for self-pity, okay? We got to move. Photographer's on his way. Those pictures got to be out to printer by the end of the day, okay?

Clint: I can't do this. Reschedule.

Matthew: It's not possible, okay? He's coming.

Clint: [Sighs] God, Viki called the engagement off.

Matthew: I know. I know, uncle Clint. All right, but you got to pull yourself together for this photographer, all right? Come on. Come on.

Clint: Let's go. I'm not a bad man.

Matthew: No. No.

Clint: You know, there are lots of women who would do anything to be married to the C.E.O. of Buchanan Enterprises.

Matthew: Yes, sir.

Clint: I'm talking lots of women. Just... not the woman I want.

Matthew: I know. But Buchanan men don't quit. Okay, you've been telling me that since -- since I can remember, okay? And they don't wallow like sappy little girls.

Clint: [Chuckles]

Matthew: All right?

Clint: Thank you, Matthew. Sappy.

Viki: I think we need bigger spacing between the names of our top-tier donors than in the list of those on the lower levels.

Dorian: Viki, I don't mean to pry.

Viki: Then don't. Let's just work on the program. It's just that -- Dorian, my personal life is my business.

Dorian: Except as co-chair of the steering committee, I do feel it's my business to make certain that you and Clint are up to this.

Viki: As co-chair of the steering committee, you are in charge of the program!

Dorian: [Sighs]

Viki: Right.

Dorian: It's quite an honor -- man of the year.

Viki: Yes, it is, and Clint definitely deserves it.

Dorian: Man, after everything he's done to break your heart...

Viki: I am asking you to stop this.

Dorian: Very well. My lips are sealed. [Sniffs]

Viki: [Sighs]

Dorian: Except... [Sighs] I do know a thing or two about broken hearts.

Viki: Please don't.

Dorian: You're going to hear about it eventually. Everybody is going to hear about it eventually.

Viki: Dorian, can we please get back to work?

Dorian: I have thrown David out -- lock, stock, and video camera. [Sighs] So, you see, you and I are in exactly the same boat. Oh, except that... I'm not broke.

Viki: Really? Dorian: Neither am I.

Jack: Why the hell are you having me followed?!

Todd: For your own good.

Jack: I can take care of myself!

Todd: [Laughs]

Jack: Do you know what it's like to have some buffoon following you around like -- I knew it.

Blair: Jack, this is not your business.

Todd: Shut up! Shut up! Hey!

Jack: You make me sick!

Todd: Hey!! You don't talk to your mother like that.

Jack: Who the hell are you to tell me that?

Todd: I'm your father.

Jack: Not to me, you're not.

Blair: Jack!

[Door opens, slams]

Matthew: Uncle Clint, we really need you out here now. Just... Hey! You look great!

Clint: I have my moments. So, what do I do? Where do I go?

Matthew: All right. Right over here. Have you stand right here.

Clint: [Clears throat]

Photographer: Okay. Angle your chin to your left shoulder just a bit.

Matthew: Yeah, Uncle Clint, you're Llanview's man of the year, okay? Give us that million-dollar Buchanan smile.

Clint: [Chuckles]

Matthew: All right?

[Camera shutter clicking]

Dorian: What do you mean, you're not broke?

Viki: Don't sound so disappointed.

Dorian: I'm not. I just don't understand.

Viki: And you don't need to. My finances are my business. But please be assured that I have more than enough money to sue you should you make even one little false statement about me, Clint, or this entire Pellegrino affair.

Dorian: Well, why would you think such a thing?

Viki: Because -- and I don't quite know how you did it, but you were behind the whole thing.

Dorian: Viki, how can you say that?

Viki: You were so shocked to hear that I'm not destitute.

Dorian: I was shocked because I heard the situation was hopeless. But [Laughing] Hey, I couldn't be happier!

Viki: Right. Right.

Dorian: [Chuckles]

Viki: Dorian, the veterans organization is counting on you and me for the success of this gala, right?

Dorian: Right.

Viki: So, let us finish the program, and then we need to figure out how to sell the last of the tickets.

Dorian: Right.

Blair: Jack, I need to talk to you.

Jack: Well, the feeling's not mutual.

Blair: Well, it doesn't matter, because I'm your mother, and I really don't need your approval.

Jack: Right. Because if you cared at all about what I thought, you wouldn't have been in that hotel room with him.

Blair: Jack, look at me. Look at me, please! Thank you. I know how you feel about Todd, all right?

Jack: The same way you should.

Blair: I have a lot of feelings for Todd, but the strongest is love, and I know that that's hard for you to handle.

Jack: It's insane.

Blair: Yes, it's insane. Love is completely insane. We're getting back together.

Jack: After everything he's done to you?

Blair: I haven't forgotten any of that, all right? Love is complicated. You take the good with the bad.

Jack: Even when there's so much more bad?

Blair: Okay.

Jack: Mom, the guy put you through hell.

Blair: Yes, there have been some rough times, but -- "but"?

Jack: "But"? There is no "but," Mom!

Blair: Yes, there is! Todd is my soul mate, Jack! And he's your father!

Jack: Everything wrong with our lives can be traced back to him.

Blair: [Sighs] I'm not denying that he hasn't hurt me. He has. He's hurt us, but I have -- I've grown to forgive him, because I see a completely different side of him, and you will, too. If you would just give him a chance, you will. And you will respect him.

Jack: No way in hell.

Blair: Jack, you will. But until then, will you please just accept our choice?

Jack: No! You need to accept that I won't.

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