One Life to Live Transcript Monday 6/24/02

By Linda
Proofread by Kathy

>> Previously on "One Life to Live" --

Rae: Maui is a big island. They don't know where to go, where to look.

Judith: Mark?

Antonio: Maybe this will ring a bell.

Lindsay: There's only one thing that keeps her sane.

Ben: What's that?

Lindsay: When she's talking about Dave.

Niki: I'm just going to have to start planting some crazy seeds in that nosy little redhead.

***********************************************

Keri: Don't try to cheer me up, Antonio.  I wanted to find Mark.

Antonio: I know you did, ok? Come on. Look, I can't take that frown.

Keri: I'm sorry, but we've been all over Maui. We even found Rae's school. And we have nothing to show for it.

Antonio: Yes, we do.

Keri: Did you find something? Have you been holding out on me?

Antonio: Come on. I'll show you.

***********************************************

Rae: What did you just say?

Judith: You were right. Your colleague and her detective boyfriend were looking for the great love of Rae Cummings' life.

Rae: Did you say anything?

Judith: Of course not.

Rae: Thank you. Thank you, really. Thank you.

Judith: Don't thank me yet. I told them I couldn't remember any Mark that matched the guy in the photo, but I have a bad feeling these two are not going to quit until they dig up the truth.

Rae: But they can't do that. You know they can't do that. Listen, I will call you back, all right, later? Ok. Oh, God.

Hank: Rae -- hey, whoa, slow down. Wait, wait -- where's the fire? Rae, Rae!

***********************************************

Ben: No way. There's no way I'm going to pretend to be Dave just to coddle that psychopath.

Lindsay: But you wouldn't be coddling anyone. You would be preventing someone's murder, namely mine.

Ben: Yeah, but Allison isn't going to hurt anyone once I report her for harassment.

Lindsay: I don't want you to report her. Don't you understand? She grew up here. Her father was the warden.

Ben: You're kidding.

Lindsay: The guards treat her like she's visiting royalty. She gets anything she wants. She even told me that she made a knife in arts and crafts.

Ben: Tell the authorities. Better yet, I will.

Lindsay: No, I don't want you to do that. If you try to get her punished, something's going to happen, someone's going to get hurt, or worse!

***********************************************

Allison: This ought to be good. So, where's my visitor?

Mrs. Sharp: The stud muffin's over there.

***********************************************

Jen: Drop the innocent act, Natalie. I am not buying it. You deliberately pushed me in the garden shed. I could have gotten hurt.

Natalie: I was never in the garden shed, I told you.

Jen: Why are you lying?

Natalie: I'm not. I -- ask Viki, ask Lois. They saw me. I went upstairs, I took a nap, and I just came down here. Go on, ask them.

Jen: I don't need to ask anybody. I was there. I saw you.

Natalie: Well, then you're the one who's lying.

Jen: Ok, either you're a bigger liar than I thought or you are completely crazy.

***********************************************

Niki: This is so great. Well, hate to eavesdrop and run, but got to ditch the wig.

Cristian: Is something wrong, Mrs. Davidson? - I can't find it! - What?

***********************************************

Emily: You know what you're doing, right? Because the last guy who claimed to be a computer genius crashed my hard drive. I lost everything. It was a total pain.

Chad: Relax, ok? Computers are my thing.

Emily: Famous last words.

Chad: Yeah? Well, check this out.

Emily: Wow! I didn't even know I had a schedule program. Now I can keep track of all my summer school classes.

Chad: Among other important dates.

Woman: Mr. Bennett, may I have a quick word with you?

Chad: Sure. Don't go anywhere.

Shawna: Who's the new girl Chad's been hitting on?

Mollie: Not a clue, but since the dean just dragged him away, shall we?

Shawna: Congratulations. You've just been noticed by the two coolest people in Llanview U.

***********************************************

Hank: Hey.

Rae: Yes.

Hank: Welcome back.

Rae: I am fine.

Hank: No, listen, you fainted.

Rae: No, I know, but I'm fine.

Hank: What do you say we get you to a doctor?

Rae: Hank, I really don't have time for that.

Hank: There's always time to check on your health. Besides, there might be something seriously wrong.

Rae: No, no -- you know what? I have low blood pressure. You know, I got up too fast. I got dizzy. You know, it happens to me all the time.

Hank: Ok, fine. So we'll have a doctor check you out just to be sure.

Rae: I really appreciate your concern. And I will. I will make an appointment with my doctor, I promise.

Hank: You know, I know a brush-off when I'm feeling it.

Rae: No. No. Well, yes, because I just don't have time to talk to you right now. All right?

Hank: Slow down. Now, look, you're just moving too fast. Now, what is going on with you?

Rae: You don't understand. I have a professional crisis. Actually, I have to leave town right away.

Hank: Leave town? For how long?

Rae: I don't know.

Hank: All right, Rae, will you at least be back in time for the Woman of the Year awards dinner?

Rae: Yes. Of course I will. I -- I would not miss that.

Hank: All right, fine. Are you sure you're ok?

Rae: Yes. Yes, I'm fine. Ok?

Hank: Ok. Now, listen, you -- you take it slow, all right?

Rae: Ok.

Hank: And I want you to see a doctor.

Rae: Ok.

Hank: You're going to need all of your energy and your strength for your big night.

Rae: Right. Thank you. Thank you.

Hank: Ok. Bye.

Rae: Bye.

Rae: Awards dinner. I won't be going to any awards dinner unless I can stop Antonio and Keri.

***********************************************

Antonio: Close your eyes. I want this to be a surprise. No cheating.

Keri: Look, don't knock me into anything.

Antonio: You're going to have to trust me.

Keri: Ok.

Antonio: Ok? All right. Hmm?

Antonio: Ok. You can look.

Keri: The room is exactly how we left it. The maid's been here --

Antonio: Look harder.

Keri: Is this a trick?

Antonio: A trick? Now, why would I trick you?

Keri: Maybe because you want to get me alone.

Antonio: Oh, you think I'm taking advantage of you?

Keri: Maybe I'm hoping.

Antonio: Well, maybe later.

Keri: Well, then what is this about?

Antonio: Right now it's about making me forget everything but how much I love you.

Keri: I like that. But I thought this was going to be about our search for Mark.

Antonio: Right. Oh, and it's about your failing powers of observation, Det. Reynolds.

Keri: Nothing is different in this room.

Antonio: You give up way too easily.

Keri: And you're a tease.

Antonio: As I said, you need to hone your powers of observation if you're going to make a good detective.

Keri: Nothing has changed!

Antonio: No, keep looking and don't take anything for granted.

Keri: Those books. These are Maui University yearbooks. How did you get these?

Antonio: Oh, I just sweet-talked the librarian into loaning them to me.

Keri: You are so good at that.

Antonio: Well, the badge helped. I -- I found Rae in the top one, you know, so if you -- if you think you're up to it --

Keri: Of course I am. You are a genius.

Antonio: Well, I wouldn't go that far.

Keri: Ok. I'll take half. You take half. I know we're going to do this. We're going to find Mark.

Antonio: Yeah -- don't look for just Mark or guys named Mark because it could have been a nickname or a middle name, like Rae used to be Gretel back then.

Keri: I thought you hated the idea of finding this guy.

Antonio: Yeah, well, I -- I, you know, I came here to be with you. Who knew you'd turn out to be such a gooey romantic?

Keri: Well, I think under that tough exterior, Det. Vega --

Antonio: Mm-hmm?

Keri: You're just as gooey as I am.

Keri: Thank you. I really thought we were going to have to give up on this.

Antonio: Never. I can never accept that disappointed look you get.

Keri: Oh, you are good.

Antonio: That's what I've been trying to tell you.

Keri: There will be plenty of time for that after we bag the suspect.

Antonio: You're killing me.

Keri: Get to work, Det. Vega.

Antonio: Yeah, ok. All right.

***********************************************

Allison: What's she doing with him?

***********************************************

Ben: You're telling me that Allison has a knife and nobody's doing anything about it?

Lindsay: I'm telling you that Allison is going to kill me and she's going to get away with it. She's nuts, Ben. I mean, she's -- she's really nuts and the only thing that keeps her calm is this character that you've created for her.

Ben: I can't -- I can't do it. I can't be Dave for you.

Lindsay: Then you just signed my death warrant.

Ben: Oh, come on, Lindsay!

Lindsay: Please, I'm begging you. Can't you be Dave just one more time? Please, can't you just make her think you still care about her?

Ben: Look, she's not stupid. She knows Dave wasn't real.

Lindsay: No, she doesn't, trust me.

Ben: Trust you?

Lindsay: Please. You're my only hope. And Dave is the only thing that's going to keep Allison from going off.

***********************************************

Allison: Get away from him! Mrs. Sharp said he's here to see me.

Lindsay: He was just asking me how you're doing.

Allison: Is that true, Dave? Are you worried about me? Is that why you came to see me? Is it Dave, or is it Ben?

***********************************************

Cristian: Is everything all right?

Niki: [As Viki] oh, yes. You startled me so, that's all. This shopping bag is filled with work for "The Banner." It's not very chic, but it does the job.

Cristian: Yeah, yeah, sure. Whatever.

Niki: Jessica's not here.

Cristian: Well, actually, I'm looking for Jen. Dr. Cummings told me she came over here, and I'm kind of worried about her and Natalie.

Niki: Actually, I'm quite worried about the both of them, as well.

***********************************************

Jen: I saw you with my own two eyes, Natalie. Why would I make that up?

Natalie: Because you hate me? Because you keep accusing me that I'm trying to take Cristian away from you?

Jen: Ok, if it's not true, then why did you make me chase you? Why did you shove me?

Natalie: I didn't -- you know what? I don't have to listen to this.

Jen: You are being such a baby!

Cristian: Jen, what are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to wait for me at the student union.

Jen: I know.

Natalie: Yeah, she's harassing me. That's what she's doing.

Jen: No, I came to return your hair clip, Natalie, the one you left at our apartment.

Natalie: Ok. What one? What hair clip?

Jen: Yeah, I couldn't even get a chance to give it to you because you ran away from me.

Cristian: Jen.

Jen: I had to chase her all the way to the garden shed.

Natalie: I was upstairs sleeping. Viki, please, tell her.

Cristian: Natalie said she was upstairs.

Jen: Are you defending her?

Natalie: I'm telling the truth.

Jen: Ok, then you're nuts because I saw you, right there. When you saw me, you ran away. You know, I would have just given you the dumb clip, but I wanted to straighten a few things out.

Natalie: Oh, yeah, I'm sure you did.

Jen: Oh, look there. It's the jacket you were wearing. Look at that. Now what do you have to say for yourself?

***********************************************

Antonio: Oh, yeah, that's good.

Keri: Look at all that big hair.

Antonio: Yeah, check out the sideburns, huh? What do you think, should I maybe do the John Lennon look?

Keri: No.

Antonio: Good.

Keri: Oh. Gosh, look how young and innocent they all look. I wonder where they are today, all these kids, what their lives are like.

Antonio: You are so beautiful.

Keri: And you are distracting me.

Antonio: Hmm? You're the one who's doing the distracting.

Keri: I will be over here.

***********************************************

Shawna: I'm Shawna and this is Mollie, and we're basically the who's who of Llanview U.

Emily: I'm Emily MacIver.

Shawna: Oh. You new in town?

Emily: My brother Troy runs the free clinic.

Mollie: You mean Troy MacIver, the guy that Lindsay Rappaport kidnapped and chained to the big wheel?

Emily: I know that woman held him captive. He didn't mention any wheel.

Shawna: Oh, yeah. Get him to give you all the gory details.

Emily: Anyway, Troy and I -- we haven't seen each other for a while, so I decided to come here and take some summer school classes.

Shawna: Why would you do that?

Emily: Something to do?

Shawna: Oh, girlfriend, we'll give you plenty to do. See, we rule.

Mollie: Yeah, there's two types of crowds here -- in and definitely out.

Shawna: Oh, and then there are the townies, but you don't even want to go there. We'll tell you who to stay away from.

Emily: Great. Sounds just like my last school.

Mollie: In fact, the Delts are throwing a really hot party tonight. You should come with us, get your feet wet.

Emily: Maybe. I just need to check with someone first.

Shawna: Well, give me a call. It's always on.

Mollie: Hey, Chad.

Shawna: Chad.

Chad: Hi.

Shawna: Don't let him give you any trouble. Ta!

Emily: That was strange.

Chad: Are you friends with those two?

Emily: Never seen them before in my life. But I think they just tried to adopt me.

Chad: You want my advice? Stay away from both of them. They're completely toxic.

***********************************************

Ben: Hello, Allison.

Allison: Dave? Is it really you?

Ben: Don't you recognize me?

Allison: Lindsay said you came to see me the other day.

Ben: Yeah. The guards here are mean. They wouldn't let me come to your cell. I dragged them there all by myself. I think love made me strong.

Allison: That's so sweet. Get lost, Rappaport.

Ben: This place is creepy, Allison. You don't belong here.

Allison: Oh, don't worry, Dave. I can handle it.

Ben: I'm sorry we never had hamburgers. I miss you.

Allison: So why did you hang up on me before? Or it was Viki -- it was Viki. She was there, right?

Ben: I don't think you're going to like this, Allison, but we need to talk about Viki.

***********************************************

Niki: [As Viki] ok, that's enough, both of you, all right? I think when we all calm down, we'll be able to figure out what happened.

Jen: Mrs. Davidson --

Cristian: Jen, don't.

Niki: Look, we're all -- all of us are really upset. Maybe it'd be better if you and Cristian went on home. You can leave Natalie and me alone and we can have some quiet time together.

Cristian: Are you ok with that, Natalie? Do you want me to leave?

Jen: Cristian, Mrs. Davidson wants us to go.

Cristian: Do you want me to leave?

Natalie: Yes, please.

Niki: Jen, I'm really sorry about whatever it was that happened. I'm quite sure it was just a misunderstanding.

Jen: Yes, I guess so.

Niki: And obviously we'd like to pay for the cleaning of your clothes.

Jen: No, forget it.

Niki: No, no, I insist.

Jen: You know, really what I'd like is an apology.

Cristian: I'm really sorry, Mrs. Davidson.

Niki: Don't worry about it, Cristian. It's perfectly all right.

***********************************************

Cristian: Why did you go off on Natalie just now?

Jen: Me? She didn't even apologize to me.

Cristian: If anybody owes anyone an apology here, Jen, I think it's you.

***********************************************

Niki: Natalie, darling, are you all right? Listen, if you say you didn't run away from Jen, I believe you. I expect she mistook one of the servants for you.

Natalie: Oh, right, like Lois has long, red hair.

Niki: Yeah, well -- the thing is that Jen has a real problem with your relationship with Cristian and she's a very insecure young lady. It's entirely possible she made the whole thing up just to get back at you, right? Don't ever forget that she's Lindsay Rappaport's daughter.

Natalie: Yeah, but she's nothing like her mother. She didn't make this up. You heard her. She believes what she's saying.

Niki: Well, you don't really know Jen very well. There might be a great deal more to her than meets the eye.

Natalie: But what about my coat? It was perfectly clean when I was wearing it earlier. Now it's totally dirty. What happened?

Niki: I'll have it cleaned.

Natalie: That's not the point! How did it get like that? I mean, what if Jen was telling the truth? What if I'm --

Niki: What if you're what? Oh, honey, you can tell me anything. What is it that you are so afraid of?

Natalie: I can't.

Niki: Oh, but you can. I'm your mother. I'm here to help you.

Natalie: Oh, God.

***********************************************

Emily: Shawna and Mollie did seem a little full of themselves, but toxic? Come on, you're exaggerating.

Chad: Just be careful, ok? Those two have caused major problems for a lot of people around here.

Emily: Like what?

Chad: Trust me -- Shawna and Mollie trash anybody they don't like, which is, well, just about everybody. Believe me, those two are nothing but trouble.

Emily: Wow. Sounds like they did a number on you.

Chad: Just watch your back.

***********************************************

Allison: You want to talk about Viki?

Ben: Don't be mad, Allison. I know you don't like Viki.

Allison: No kidding.

Ben: I like you when you're nice. You're pretty when you're nice. When you get mad, you get this scary look on your face.

Allison: You're scared of me?

Ben: Only when you're mad. Especially when you're mad at Viki. But I know you're really not like that.

Allison: I would never do anything mean to you, Dave -- never, ever.

Ben: I just want you to be happy, Allison. I know you feel bad inside when you're mean. I just want everybody to be happy, even Viki. That's why you like me so much, right?

Allison: Don't worry about Viki. She's got more money than God.

Ben: But money can't buy happiness, Allison.

Allison: Maybe not, but it can buy a lot of stuff that makes unhappiness feel a whole lot better.

Ben: Money can't buy love.

Allison: That's true, Dave. Viki doesn't know you're here, does she?

Ben: No. She's nice to me. Not as nice as you are, but nice. Sometimes people are mean to her, and that makes her really sad. I could never love somebody who makes people sad, so could you stop making people sad, Allison?

Allison: I suppose.

Ben: People think you're mean, but they don't know you like I know you. You've had a hard life. You're beautiful and pretty. You just want people to give you a chance.

Allison: You're right, I do.

Ben: So now that we're friends again, will you stop being mean to Viki, ok?

Allison: Oh, ok. You know, I thought I'd never see you again. I thought you were gone for good.

Ben: Well, not for good. Love keeps us together.

Allison: Oh. Oh, I'm so happy to see you, to be with you again. This changes everything.

Ben: What do you mean?

***********************************************

Jen: Apologize to Natalie? She attacked me. Whose side are you on, Cristian?

Cristian: From what I saw, Jen, you were attacking her, and Natalie doesn't deserve that after everything she's been through.

Jen: What about me? I'm supposed to be your girlfriend. I was the one getting pushed around. It's like you don't even care.

Cristian: Well, maybe I'd care more if I didn't know you came here looking for trouble.

Jen: I came here to return Natalie's hair clip, end of story.

Cristian: Is that why you were chasing her around the garden? You couldn't just have left it with the maid?

Jen: I wanted to talk to her.

Cristian: Right, because you wanted to straighten things out.

Jen: Yes.

Cristian: Don't you mean you came here looking for a fight?

Jen: No. I just wanted to see why she's always hanging around with you when she knows that it upsets me. I mean, what's the big fascination? There are plenty of other guys.

Cristian: There's nothing going on.

Jen: You're taken.

Cristian: She knows that.

Jen: Yeah, so why won't she leave you alone?

Cristian: Did you ever think that it takes two people to hang out together? Why don't you ask me about it?

Jen: Because every time we talk about it, we get in a fight, just like right now.

Cristian: Jen, I don't want you telling me who I can or can't be friends with. I mean, you hang out with Al. You want me to make a big deal about that?

Jen: That's different.

Cristian: Oh, right, that's different. Al, who is in love with you, who kept us apart for months, who almost married you, and talk about a liar, Jen. And then you go attacking Natalie behind my back. How do you think that makes me feel?

Jen: Not good. I was wrong. I'm sorry.

Cristian: Apology accepted.

Jen: There's just something definitely wrong with that girl. Why is she acting so weird?

Cristian: I don't know, but maybe there's something going on that we don't know about.

Jen: Yeah, like she's nuts.

Cristian: Well, obviously you can't be fair to Natalie right now.

Jen: What is that supposed to mean? I'm blinded by jealousy or something?

Cristian: You said it, not me. Why won't you believe me when I tell you that Natalie and I are just friends? Why does it bug you so much?

Jen: Well, if you don't know, then you're just as crazy as she is.

Cristian: About that apology -- if you don't make it, I will.

Jen: Do not apologize for me, Cristian, because I am definitely not sorry.

***********************************************

Niki: [As Viki] Natalie, sweetheart, I'm sure there's a logical explanation for all of this.

Natalie: Or not.

Niki: Of course there is, I promise you. Please don't be so upset.

Natalie: What's happening to me?

Niki: Well, I think you probably know the answer to that -- you've lost your mind.

Natalie: What did you say?

Niki: Honey, I said, "put it out of your mind." Why? What did you think I'd said?

***********************************************

Cristian: Hey, Natalie? Natalie, wait!

***********************************************

Niki: [As herself] oh, man, I am so good. This is working like a charm.

***********************************************

Keri: Ok. All right, I have two marks here. One's a Hawaiian zoologist and the other's a blond anthropologist with horn-rimmed glasses. This is not helping. Antonio? Are you just totally bored with this?

Antonio: I found him.

Keri: What? You did? Let me see.

Antonio: Don't get too excited just yet. You might want to take a look at this.

***********************************************

Rae: Maybe you don't understand. I really need to get a seat on that flight to Maui. It's an emergency.

Woman: Look, I'm sorry, ma'am, but this flight is overbooked. There are seats available on tomorrow's flight.

Rae: I am a doctor. It really is a matter of life and death.

Woman: I can't sell you a seat that doesn't exist. Now, if you'll please step aside --

Asa: Having trouble, Gretel?

Woman: Mr. Buchanan, how nice to see you, as always. Did you have a pleasant flight?

Asa: Oh, yes.

Rae: Excuse me?

Asa: It seems kind of turbulent down here, though. You got a minute? I'd like a word with you. I'm having some scotch flown in.

Woman: Oh, yeah, certainly, sir.

Rae: If you don't mind, Asa, I'm trying to book a seat on a flight that's leaving any minute. Ok?

Asa: Wait, wait, wait -- you're leaving town? Well, that's good. How long are you going to be gone, Gretel?

Rae: As long as it takes, Asa.

Asa: Ooh, that's better yet. Hmm.

Rae: So, if you don't mind, thank you. Now --

Woman: Look, I told you, there's not a seat on this plane.

Asa: Hmm. You heard the lady, Gretel. It sounds like you're not in a hurry after all. Out of my way.

***********************************************

Emily: So, what did the dean want? Are you expelled?

Chad: Yes. Tough break, huh?

Emily: No, seriously.

Chad: Seriously, she just needed a little computer advice.

Emily: And you're the expert.

Chad: And you're learning. But I do have to run. She wants me to check out her computer. The network's down. I don't know, something like that. Can we push lunch back, like, a few minutes?

Emily: No problem. I'll just put my new dates in my new scheduler.

Chad: That sounds good. Be sure to slot me in every, like, two hours.

Emily: What was your name, again?

Chad: Ooh. That's terrible. I'll see you.

Mollie: Hey, Em, how well do you know Chad Bennett?

Emily: I just met him. He seems like a nice guy. Why?

Shawna: Nice, huh? Nice and sleazy?

Emily: Chad?

Shawna: A word to the wise, girlfriend -- be careful you don't end up on one of his XXX web sites.

Emily: What?

Mollie: He didn't tell you?

Shawna: Oh, figures.

Mollie: Yeah, that's what he does -- web porn, shower cams, all co-eds -- that kind of stuff.

Shawna: And sometimes not with the model's permission.

Emily: I don't know Chad that well, but that doesn't sound like --

Mollie: You saw how good he is with the computer.

Shawna: Ask Cristian Vega. He installed hidden cameras all over his loft and then charged membership fees to get in on the action.

Mollie: He called it hottiebaresall.com.

Shawna: Oh, and it was, too.

Emily: That's not funny. Why are you guys trashing Chad like that? What did he ever do to you?

Shawna: Whatever. Just don't say we didn't warn you.

Mollie: Oh, and that party we invited you to? Sorry -- no losers allowed.

Shawna: Well put, Mollie.

***********************************************

[Lindsay coughs]

Mrs. Sharp: All right, visiting hours are over. Everybody out.

Allison: Dave, it was so good that you came to see me. I feel so much better.

Ben: Me, too, Allison. So you're not going to be mean to anybody anymore, right?

Allison: I promise.

***********************************************

Ben's voice: Your stuff came.

Natalie's voice: What stuff?

Ben: What you ordered from the silver moon boutique.

Natalie: I told you, I didn't order any of these.

Woman: Ms. Buchanan, I talked to you on the phone myself. This is your credit card number, isn't it?

Jen: You saw me and you went running like some crazy lunatic!

Niki: [As Viki] lost your mind --

Woman’s voice: Talked to you on the phone myself.

Jen's voice: Crazy lunatic --

Niki's voice: Lost your mind --

Natalie: Go away!

Cristian: Natalie, come on, open up. I'm not leaving.

***********************************************

Antonio: That's him.

Keri: We did it. Why aren't you excited?

Antonio: Get a load of the name.

Keri: Oh, no, Antonio, this can't be right.

***********************************************

Rae: I absolutely have to get on that plane to Maui, so how about I buy your ticket. Name your price.

Man: But I'm going on vacation.

Rae: No, no, no. Just think about it -- a night at The Palace hotel on me? Dinner, a room --

Asa: That won't be necessary.

Rae: Asa, let go of me.

Asa: Quiet down, Gretel. I, Asa Buchanan, the man you're trying to make a petty, insignificant bundle of bull, just snapped his fingers and got you a seat on this flight.

Rae: Why? I know you hate me.

Asa: Exactly. That's why if you're halfway on the other side of the world, I'm free. No therapy.

Rae: Now, that's certainly your loss, isn't it?

Asa: Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm so heartbroken.

Rae: So, where is my ticket?

Asa: Not so fast. There's a condition.

Rae: Oh, of course there's a condition. There's always a condition.

Asa: Look, while you're on this long, long flight, I want you to think real hard about our last session -- the one you told me that I should rot in jail for the way I made my money.

Rae: That has nothing to do with this.

Asa: Really? Because I just paid a poor slob for his seat on this flight in exchange for a first-class round-trip ticket. Now, aren't you happy I'm not behind bars?

Woman: [On P.A.] This is a final boarding call for Universal Airlines flight 32 to Maui. Will all remaining passengers please proceed to the gate?

Asa: Here is your ticket. You're flying coach. You're between a sumo wrestler badly in need of deodorant and a hyperactive 3-year-old kid.

Rae: Thank you.

Asa: Oh, Gretel -- one minute. That is a one-way ticket. And if there's any damn justice, you will not be coming back. Have a nice flight.

***********************************************

Chad: Hey, ready to chow down?

Emily: I was until Shawna and Mollie did a number on my appetite. You were right about them.

Chad: What did they do this time?

Emily: They came back and started ragging on you. You'd think if they were going to make up a lie, they'd at least be smart enough to make it believable.

Chad: I never said those two were smart. Devious, completely. But smart? I don't think so.

Emily: Obviously not.

Chad: No.

Emily: The things they were saying about you were way out there.

Chad: Oh, really? Like what?

Emily: Supposedly you set up some porn web site. Can you believe that? Like I would actually believe that for a minute.

***********************************************

Lindsay: So, did you have a nice visit with Dave?

Allison: Very nice.

Lindsay: I told you. You believe me now?

Allison: My Samson. He dragged the guards to my cell, and the only reason he hung up on me was because of Victoria.

Lindsay: I told you. So, what do you think?

Allison: I think Dave wants me after all.

Lindsay: Of course he does.

Allison: I think he wanted to say something to me at the end -- something secret.

Lindsay: Really? Like what? Like what, Allison?

Allison: I don't know. But he was speaking in code, you know? Like coded message. And I just can't figure it out.

Lindsay: Do you think it was, you know, like, he wants to get back together with you? Because he hinted that to me before you walked in.

Allison: That's it. He was secretly saying he wants me to bust out of here so we can be together forever.

Lindsay: That's great. So what are you going to do?

Allison: What do you think, dope? I'm going to blow this joint.

***********************************************

Cristian: What is it, Natalie? What's going on?

Natalie: I can't. I'm too afraid.

Cristian: Hey, come on. You can tell me anything. You know that.

Natalie: Can I? What if I wanted to tell you that I think I'm losing my mind?

***********************************************

Niki: Ain't nobody ever going to find that wig in there because ain't nobody ever going to read that junk. Yes, ma'am. Here's to you, Einstein. You did it again. Whoa. Ok. I've laid all the groundwork. Poor Natalie is exhibiting violent tendencies. From there, it's just a hop, skip, and a jump to being a killer, right? So pretty soon, she's going to kill poor, dear Dr. Ben. Oh, what have we here? Cool -- I'm alive. Ok.

Niki: Bingo.

>> Stay tuned for scenes from the next "One Life to Live."

***********************************************

>> On the next "One Life to Live" --

Bo: You moving out?

Jen: You know Natalie really well, right? What is wrong with her?

Natalie: Could I have --

Cristian: D.I.D.?

Niki: [As Viki] what are you doing?

Ben: I'm calling Rae.

Niki: No!

Man: What do you want?

Max: Well, I thought we should talk about my wife.

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