Guiding Light Transcript Friday 9/4/09

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Proofread by Tanya

Previous on "Guiding Light"...

Olivia: I can't go to your sonogram. I don’t understand why you won't leave this alone.

Rick: James, you are a match.

James: It was my decision.

Phillip: It is not going to happen, you understand me?

Doris: Maybe now is the time, you know? To risk everything, to reach out.

Alan: You found someone?

Ed: Even though you are not Phillip’s biological father, you are a potential match.

Olivia: Okay, Em, let's go.

Emma: I have finish my collage for Daddy.

Olivia: Come here, sit. These cookies are going to make your daddy feel better because you made them for him.

Emma: And they're delicious.

Olivia: And they are delicious. But I don't want you to feel that if they don't make your daddy not sick anymore, because...

(Cell phone ringing)

Emma: Is it Natalia?

Olivia: Huh. Hi.

Natalia: Hi. Just checking up on my two favorite girls.

Olivia: We're okay. I'm about to take Emma over to see Phillip.

Natalia: Don't forget the cookies.

Olivia: They're right here.

Natalia: I'm really sorry that Phillip is sick. He's a really nice man and I know that Emma adores him.

Olivia: She just got him back. I really don't know what to do for her.

Natalia: If there is anything I can do?

Olivia: You helped make the cookies.

Natalia: I would do anything, you know, I would do anything I could for either one of you.

Olivia: You just take care of yourself, okay? You got your sonogram today.

Natalia: Yeah, in about two hours.

Olivia: Well, good luck. I know that everything is going to be fine.

Natalia: Thank you.

Olivia: I should really get her over there, so.. bye. Okay, Em, grab the cookies and let's skedaddle.

Buzz: Hey.

Ashlee: Here it is.

Buzz: Here's what? Oh, is this the book I didn't approve? The book that you and Blake had published without my approval?

Ashlee: Uh-huh.

Buzz: The book that you hoped that you would win me over in the back end of this deal, huh?

Ashlee: Yeah!

Buzz: Well, turns out you are a brilliant girl. You shouldn't have listened me, of course, you didn't listen to me.

Ashlee: Thank you, thank you, but there are two brilliant girls in all of this.

Buzz: I will talk to Blake later. I'm so proud of you for doing this. I mean, Coop would rather have no one else than you to do this project. So...

Ashlee: I did it for Coop, actually, you know? Looking through all his old notes and trying to decipher his terrible handwriting, I don't know, he was with me the whole time.

Buzz: Oh, you. I can't wait to read it. Can't wait.

Ashlee: Hi, Mom.

Buzz: Hi.

Doris: Hi, sweetie, what is all the excitement about?

Ashlee: Well, the gally just came back from the publisher and wanted Buzz to have the first copy. Yeah. Anyway, I have to go to WSPR.

Buzz: Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Ashlee: I love you, I love you, I love you.

Buzz: She is a great kid.

Emma: Daddy.

Olivia: Hey.

Phillip: Hi, sweetie.

Emma: I made you some cookies, they will make you feel better.

Phillip: Ohh... I feel better just seeing your pretty face. Thank you

Olivia: Hey, Em, why don't you take the cookies and go ask the cook for some milk and a plate. How's that?

Phillip: That's a good idea.

Olivia: She made those for you because she thinks that they'll heal you. That it will prevent you from actually dying. And I think we need to make her understand without giving her false hope.

Phillip: I'll tell her that they're delicious, but that I won't be able to make it unless I get some special medicine that hasn't been invented yet. Does that make any sense?

Olivia: Yeah, this is so unfair.

Phillip: Yeah. It is.

Alan: Ed, explain this. What does potential match mean?

Ed: It means that you met the first set of criteria to donate your bone marrow to Phillip. Now since then we've done a whole battery of tests. Turns out you are an 86% match. It's not ideal, but it's the best we can hope for given the time constraints.

Alan: So I could...

Ed: You could save Phillip’s life, possibly. But what you have to understand is the risk to you is extremely high. There's every chance that you could lose your life trying to save your son’s.

Alan: Ed, what are the chances that this procedure would save Phillip?

Ed: No one knows. Never been done. Works great on paper.

Alan: That's not a very good sales pitch.

Ed: You want to know what I really think?

Alan: Yeah.

Ed: I don't think you should even contemplate this procedure. No one can guarantee any results. The risks are way high. I just, I can't recommend it.

Alan: Well, I understand.

Ed: Plus the fact that Phillip is my patient. I am medically obligated to follow his wishes.

Alan: And he's made it very clear he doesn't want to go through is procedure, right?

Ed: He doesn't want to put anyone else at risk.

Alan: Yes, uh-huh.

Ed: I have even told him that, you know, that you are a match. As a father, your position is just untenable. Your son is going to die. You are the one person who has a chance of saving him. If you try, in all probability, he'll die anyway. And so will you. And if you don't try, he is sure to die. I am truly sorry, man, but you're just... you're really screwed.

Buzz: Yeah, your daughter brought me... your brilliant daughter brought me that copy of her latest project.

Doris: Oh, I didn't get one.

Buzz: I'll get you one. I should have asked her to sign it for you.

Doris: Well, it's not Ashlee’s book, it's Coop.

Buzz: Ashley finished it. She did it. She's brilliant. You did good.

Doris: What did I do?

Buzz: Well, you're her mother. You had to have something to do with it.

Doris: I don't think I can take any credit for her. Ashlee is Ashlee all by herself. In fact, you know, I think that I never gave her enough. Recently, she told me that she didn't know anything about me.

Buzz: Well... well, you can fix that. You just have to get on before it's too late.

Blake: Oh, hey. There you are.

Ashlee: What?

Blake: I was looking for you.

Ashlee: You... oh, yeah, I got your message. You said it was something about the book.

Blake: Yeah.

Ashlee: Okay, well, did the... is it bad? Did it miss its release date or something?

Blake: No, no, it'll be released by Christmas.

Ashlee: Okay, then why did you sound so frantic?

Blake: I wanted to see your face when you open this. Personally, I want to see it.

Ashlee: Okay, okay. This looks like a check.

Blake: It is. It's an editor's fee made out to you. $5,000!

Ashlee: Oh my God, oh my God! Well, I didn't even know I was going to get this.

Blake: No, I know, I didn't want to tell you in case I couldn't make it happen, but that's yours. And also a very tiny, tiny, tiny percentage of the book.

Ashlee: Oh my God. Oh, my God, I'm floored! Oh my God, thank you.

Blake: Good, good, I knew you would be. So spend it wisely.

Ashlee: Okay.

Blake: Good job.

Ashlee: Thank you.

(Cell phone ringing)

Ashlee: Hello? Hi, Mom. Yeah, no, sure, I’ll meet you in 20 minutes. Okay. Okay, bye.

Olivia: Oh wow. Look at you. Give that to Daddy. Yeah.

Emma: Can I go upstairs and play with Peyton?

Olivia: Sure, why don't you take her a cookie?

Phillip: No, not that one. Okay. (Laughs)

Olivia: So when do you have to check into the hospital?

Phillip: I'm not checking into the hospital.

Olivia: You're not? You're going to die in your own bed, is that it?

Phillip: Something like that. Maybe over there. I have always loved that chair.

Olivia: You do good in that chair. I really hate this, you know.

Phillip: The dead guy humor?

Olivia: Yeah, I hate the dead guy humor. And the fact that you're actually...

Phillip: The dead guy.

Olivia: Stop it. There's nothing that they can do for you at the hospital?

Phillip: They say they can make me more comfortable. But I don't want to spend my last few days with my family standing around bed waiting for me to die.

Olivia: Kind of like what I'm doing right now.

Phillip: Is that what you are doing?

Olivia: No. Well, okay, there was a time when I could have danced at your funeral... I might have.

Phillip: I think you did.

Olivia: Shoot, did you hear about that?

Phillip: (Laughs) Oh, yeah.

Olivia: Stop. Now, it just makes me really sad.

Phillip: Good. I’m glad.

Olivia: Me too.

How can you believe the heart is only a simple machine

and the love that's running through our veins is just a pulse the sea

don't you give up on finding this great big mystery and baby, don't give up

baby, don't you give baby, don't give up

don't you ever give up baby, don't give up

don't you ever give up on me.

Buzz: Hey, I didn't hear you come in.

Olivia: Hi. You by yourself?

Buzz: Well, yeah. Well, you know, until we get the stove in. No stove, no food. No food, no customers. Frank can go back to being a cop, doing the things he loves, being a cop, being a dad.

Olivia: He is a wonderful father.

Buzz: Can you tell him that the next time you see him?

Olivia: Sure.

Buzz: No, he is feeling lousy because Mallet and Marina broke up and he thinks he set a bad example.

Olivia: Oh, you can't do that. No, we all set bad examples for our kids occasionally. They are supposed to be better people than us.

Buzz: Mine certainly are.

Olivia: Mine definitely are.

Buzz: But, you know, he'll get another shot now. He's having maybe a girl or maybe a boy.

Olivia: They're going to find out today.

Buzz: Either way, the kids going to be in great shape. Natalia as a mother, Frank as dad. Doesn't get much better than that, does it? Except when it's you.

Blake: Ooh, that looks yummy.

Natalia: It is. I think the baby likes it too. He or she is kicking up a storm.

Blake: Oh, so you don't know what it is, right? You are going to find out, right?

Natalia: Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I mean, I can't afford to buy two sets of anything.

Blake: Oh, I hear you there. Do you know what Frank prefers, boy or girl?

Natalia: No, I didn't even think to ask him. I know Olivia loves having daughters. I love little girls.

Blake: I know you would love a girl. You're very good with Emma.

Natalia: Thanks.

Blake: And I know you want Olivia to help you with all of this, but please don't push Frank out in the process.

Natalia: No, no, I... no, I have no intention of pushing Frank out.

Blake: That's good. I was just checking because you're not going to find a better father than Frank for this baby.

Rafe: Ok, Alan, let me help you with this. Come here.

Alan: Thank you, Rafael.

Rafe: (Laughs) I'm sorry, I hope these weren't important paperwork.

Alan: Good to see you, son. I expect you came here to tell me something, is that why you're here?

Rafe: Grandfather, I have enlisted in the army.

Alan: And this is something you choose to do. You've enlisted.

Rafe: Yeah, totally. No one has convinced me of anything. It was my idea, definitely.

Alan: That's very brave of you, son. When do you leave, soldier?

Rafe: In about two weeks, maybe less.

Alan: Really?

Rafe: Yeah, two weeks.

Alan: I want to know something, your mother is going to be taken good care of. I'll make sure she has a good job.

Rafe: Thank you, sir.

Alan: And before you leave, will you come by to see me, so we can talk some more?

Rafe: I'm not going to disappear, of course. We still have a little time left.

Alan: I think your father would be very proud of you, my grandson. Come here.

Ashlee: Hey, Mom.

Doris: Hey, sweetie.

Ashlee: I can't believe this. I don't think we've ever done this before.

Doris: I know. I don't know why, either, you know, my office being right there. I just... I don't know. I don't know why I never did it before. You just get in the habit of doing things a certain way and it becomes hard to break out of them and open up.

Ashlee: Mom, is there Swiss cheese on this? You know I don't like Swiss cheese.

Doris: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't even know there was cheese in there. You know, the truth is I went to the cafeteria and I never go there.

Ashlee: Uh-huh.

Doris: You know that's what today is about, really, like doing things that you don't usually do, you know? Like opening up, sharing.

Ashlee: Want to share my sandwich?

Doris: Oh, God, I'm not doing this right.

Ashlee: Doing what?

Doris: Do you remember the day that I took you to the beach, you were seven. And...

Ashlee: Yeah.

Doris: You wanted to play, but I told you that we had to talk first.

Ashlee: Yes, yes, that would be the day that you told me about sex.

Doris: Yeah. Well, that actually wasn't the conversation I was planning on having with you that day.

Ashe: Oh, well, Mom, it's fine. Seven is a little young, but at the end of the day, you didn't scar me for life.

Doris: Oh, that's good. Because you know I've just been trying to do that, you know, not scar you for life to protect you from anything that would hurt you.

Ashlee: Mom, everything is fine. What... what's going on? What?

Doris: I'm a lesbian. I'm a lesbian.

Ashlee: Did you just say that you're a lesbian?

Doris: Yes. I like women.

Ashlee: Mom, I know what a lesbian is!

Doris: I have been ever since I could member, okay? I just... I couldn't always accept it, okay? And you got to understand that it was a different time then, okay? People did not understand it the way they do now. And I didn't tell anyone. I just went about my business. I went to school. I had boyfriends. It never quite worked. You know, it wasn't right for me. So I went to school and when I graduated I... I decided to live my life the way I wanted to, okay. And at a certain point, I wanted life to mean more. So I went to a sperm bank and I got you. You have meant everything to me. I remember holding your hand when you learned how to walk. We were so close. And all of a sudden you were seven, and you were asking me, "Why don't we have a daddy?" So I took you to the beach that day to try to explain. Only I chickened out. And I have been chickening out ever since. And I know that this wall developed between us. And I know it was my fault. And I couldn't do anything about it. And then all of a sudden you are this remarkable young woman, and I am stuck knowing that I have been lying to you and you are right, you don't know who I am. And the reason you don't is because I haven't shared myself with you. And I am so sorry.

Ashlee: I just don't understand why you don't trust me. Don’t you know that I love you?

Doris: I just didn't want you to suffer. The world can be really cruel.

Ashlee: Mom, I know. The world is cruel. Out of anyone I know, I know that the world is cruel. You were cruel to me. You were cruel.

Doris: I'm sorry.

Ashlee: Why couldn't you just trust me? Just trust me.

Doris: Are you ashamed of me? Are you embarrassed?

Ashlee: No, I'm not ashamed or embarrassed. I'm so angry. Because you didn't love me enough to be honest with me.

Natalia: Hi, Phillip.

Phillip: Hey, Natalia.

Natalia: Olivia told me and I'm so sorry.

Phillip: Thank you, yes, uh-huh. I'm the dying guy. I'll get t-shirts made up that say that.

Natalia: I'm so sorry.

Phillip: No.

Natalia: I'm really sorry.

Phillip: It's okay, no, I'm sorry.

Natalia: No, no, no. You are going through a lot right now and I just... I'm sorry.

Phillip: Hey, Natalia, listen, this may not be my place to say this, but dying does have its perks. I know that Olivia is trying to push you away right now. Don't be fooled. She needs you. And Emma really needs you. And they're going to need you a whole lot more once I'm gone. So don't let her keep you out.

Natalia: Oh, I won’t. I know what I want.

Phillip: Okay.

Alan: Hey, Buzz.

Buzz: Hey. What?

Alan: My son... my son is dying. First, there was Gus and now Phillip.

Buzz: I know. I'm sorry.

Alan: Ed tells me that there's a small possibility that he could be saved if he had this bone marrow transplant.

Buzz: I hadn't heard that. That's great.

Alan: Yeah. But there is a big problem. There's a great risk that the donor could lose his life during the operation. And now Phillip doesn't want to have the procedure.

Buzz: Well, I get that. I mean, who would choose to have someone else die instead of them?

Alan: I want to ask you something. When you... when you went to Vietnam, did you... did you enlist or were you drafted?

Buzz: I enlisted.

Alan: You enlisted, huh?

Buzz: Yeah.

Alan: I was drafted.

Buzz: What?

Alan: Yeah, I never told you. But I was drafted.

Buzz: I had no idea. Where did you serve?

Alan: I didn't go. I was scared of dying.

Buzz: We all were.

Alan: Yeah. But you went, Buzz, you went. See, I was a coward. My father went and bought my way out.

Buzz: Oh, lots of boys didn't go for lots of reason, Alan.

Alan: Yeah, yeah, but you see my father... my father was told by the board that he had to replace me by someone else. And he chose this guy who was on the Spaulding payroll. He was recently married and just had a brand new baby boy to take my place. And the only thing that came back from that war was an American flag. And I have been tormented by guilt. I've felt like a coward ever since.

Buzz: Oh, hell, Alan, we're all cowards.

Alan: Not you. You went and served your country. I never told you this, but it's something I always admired about you, but I also hated about you. Because you did what I couldn't do. You were brave.

Buzz: No, we all have our moments. Occasionally, we're brave. Mostly we're not. Mostly we're just getting by.

Alan: No, no, I've watched you. I've watched you deal with adversity. I've watched you with your family. You are a man of honor and integrity. You were brave.

Buzz: I went because I was running away from my wife and my kid. I mean talk about cowardice, come on. I was more afraid of what was going on here than what was going on over there. I am not a man of honor. I’m lucky, that's all.

Alan: Ed told me that I am match for Phillip.

Buzz: But you're not the biological father. That's ironic.

Alan: Ironic.

Buzz: So you could be the donor.

Alan: I could, but when he told me, you know, the same feeling that I had when I was 18 came up. I got scared again.

Buzz: Scared of dying? We're all going to die.

Alan: I just don't think I can do it, Buzz.

Buzz: You're going to do it. I know you will. You're going to do it because you can't t do it.

Frank: I got you some soda crackers in case you were feeling a little queasy.

Natalia: Thank you. I'm not really queasy any more but I am starving all the time. Speaking of which, I made some cookies with Emma yesterday, I brought you some. They're in the car.

Frank: Thank you.

Natalia: She was really sad, you know. Emma, her dad being sick.

Frank: Phillip.

Natalia: Yeah. There she is making him these cookies because she wants him to feel better. And she's thinking they're going to cure him.

Frank: Well, I thought my family had a lot going on.

Natalia: I know, it must really makes you think, you know, about how important family is and, honestly, Frank, that's really why I want Olivia to be a part of all of this, because I want this baby to have all the family around that they can have.

Alan: I want you to explain this procedure to me. Explain to me from beginning to end how this is going to affect Phillip’s body, how it's going to cure his infection and the chances that he has for survival.

Ed: All right. I will try to explain everything that will happen to Phillip and to you.

Alan: I don't care about me. I just want to hear about how this is going to save my son.

Phillip: Hey. You don't have to run, I'm not contagious. What's going on?

Olivia: Nothing.

Phillip: Is this like a routine for you? You come to the park and walk around crying, like going for a jog?

Olivia: Stop. I'm embarrassed, okay? I don't want to talk about it.

Phillip: You don't want to talk about it? It would seem a little odd at this point in our relationship to be hiding things from each other. I don't have a lot of time to be telling anybody anything.

Olivia: I was feeling sorry for myself, which is a really crappy thing to say to somebody who actually has something to worry about. I shouldn't feel worse for myself than I do for you.

Phillip: Why? When I go, I'm gone. I don’t have anything to worry about at that point. Sometimes I think it's a lot harder for the people that are left behind.

Olivia: You're being awfully grown up about all this.

Phillip: I just had a while to get used to the idea.

Olivia: Are you used to it?

Phillip: Well, I'm not happy about it. But I... I have had some time to work through the ups and downs and there have been plenty of both. I've been up on that hill many of afternoon talking to my headstone. We all get our dark moments.

Olivia: I was thinking about Emma, she's not going to have you. Ava doesn't have Jeffrey. Rafe is going off to fight some war. People leave, they leave and they die.

Phillip: They don't all die. Some of them keep living. And those are the ones that will give you their happiness, if you let them.

Olivia: I just feel like we've lost so many people.

Phillip: So don't lose any more. You have somebody. You have somebody that loves you. And wants you in her life. Don't lose Natalia by pushing her away.

Ed: So that's pretty much it. And it would be a couple of days of recovery.

Alan: Just a couple of days? That's all?

Ed: Well, a bone marrow transplant is fairly common. It's the amount we will be removing from your body that makes it dangerous. And it's the first couple of hours after the surgery that pose the most risk. But if you get through that, and your body... if it is responding well, than you could be on your feet, moving around in a couple of days. I don't want to belabor this point, Alan, but this would be the first time anyone has ever performed this procedure.

Alan: So you're saying that I would be a guinea pig.

Ed: Well, our lab rat.

Alan: For my boy, I want to do it.

Ed: You're a brave man, Alan. Now we only have one obstacle left. That's Phillip.

Alan: I will take care of Phillip.

Buzz: My goodness. Twice in one day.

Doris: I need a drink, a shot of something.

Buzz: Something?

Doris: You know what? I tried and I screwed it up.

Buzz: I'm not following this.

Doris: I tried to talk to Ashlee. I tried to have a mother/daughter talk.

Buzz: Good for you.

Doris: Yeah, well, it wasn't so good for me. She walked away from me. And I told her a truth. I told her a really big truth and she just walked away.

Buzz: Well, have some faith.

Doris: What if that's it, though? What if she's just done with me?

Buzz: Our kids are all better than us, you know. They find out we're human. They still love us.

Doris: I need that shot.

Buzz: Okay. Here.

Rafe: Hey, you never responded to my text.

Ashlee: I'm sorry.

Rafe: It's fine. Ash, you know your mom is inside if that's who are you looking for.

Ashlee: No, she is actually not who I am looking for at all right now.

Rafe: Are you okay? You look a little... a little mess.

Ashlee: I'm fine. Just had a very weird talk with my mother.

Rafe: You can talk to me out it if you want. It's not like anything will surprise me, right?

Ashlee: No, actually, I don't think that this would surprise you at all.

Rafe: Okay.

Ashlee: Okay, when I put together Coop's book, my mom said, "Why don't you write something about me?" And I said, "No, I can't because I don't know anything about you."

Rafe: Right.

Ashlee: So she decided to tell everything today.

Rafe: Okay. What does that mean?

Doris: My mother is gay, Rafe.

Rafe: (Laughs) Okay, that funny, Ash, I guess.

Ashlee: It's very funny. And 's very true.

Rafe: Are you serious? I don’t... what is this, like a bandwagon everybody is jump on?

Ashlee: No, no, this is no new bandwagony thing for Doris. She's known forever and has just kept it secret from me, for all of my life.

Rafe: I don't understand... I don't understand. Did she think you couldn't handle it or something or she thought it would upset you?

Ashlee: It upsets me that she thinks she can keep such a big secret from me, like I'd be homophobic, like she raised someone who would care. She's so angry. She's so sad. And it's because she wouldn't share this. She wouldn't let me be a part of her life. She has been so angry at me.

Rafe: Ash...

Ashlee: I thought it was because she didn't like me, but no, no, it's because she didn't like herself. (Crying)

Rafe: Hey, look at me, look at me, come here, hey. If you don't mind me saying, it's not like she kept it from you forever. She told you. It's not like you found out on your own. She trusted you enough to tell you this.

Ashlee: I know. I just want my mother to be happy and she hasn't let herself because she was afraid of what her own daughter would think.

Rafe: Look, this is all her. You can't make it about you.

Alan: Phillip!

Phillip: Hey. What are you doing here, you okay?

Alan: Yeah, I'm fine, son. I'm not the one who's sick.

Phillip: Yes, thanks for that. I had almost forgotten. Listen, after I check in with Ed, I'm heading over to Bill and Lizzie’s. You're welcome to join me if you feel like you're up to a little wallpaper steaming.

Alan: Well, I'd love to but I'm on my way to a meeting, but I do need to talk with you.

Phillip: With me? Why?

Alan: Well, just recently, I had my routine checkup and it was discovered, son, that I am your match.

Phillip: You're a match?

Alan: Yes. I could donate my bone marrow to you and save your life, son. I've gone over it with Ed. He explained everything. Now we need to get this procedure started as quickly as possible.

Phillip: Dad, I appreciate you wanting to do that. But there is no way in hell that I can let you.

Frank: This kind of new to me because Eleni and I, we didn't find out ahead of time. So our little girl was a complete surprise.

Natalia: Yeah. Well, I didn't find out with Rafe either. I was young and scared.

Frank: It must have been tough.

Natalia: I was pretty much all on my own, except after he was born, then I knew I’d never be alone again. He’s so mad at me these days.

Frank: He’ll get over it, he loves you. Besides you have a lot of people around you now that love you and will help you.

Natalia: Yeah. I just really want this baby to have a real family, you know. Everyone that I love the most, surrounding her or him from day one.

Olivia: Hi. Can I come in?

Frank: Well hello. You are actually just in time. You know I’m gonna go see if the technician is on their way, okay? Be right back.

Natalia: You’re here.

Olivia: I had to be, couldn’t waste anymore time.

Next week on “Guiding light,”

Mallet: Excuse me ma’am do you need some help? Are you kidding, what are you doing here?

Jonathan: How would you feel if it was more than a visit?

Lizzie: Stop wasting your energy trying to figure out why things happen the way they do.

Olivia: We have some good new, at least we think it’s good news.

Emma: What is it?

Josh: Here they come.

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