Guiding Light Transcript Wednesday 9/3/08

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Provided by Suzanne
Proofread by Melanie

Reva: I found a lump.

Jeffrey: Stop trying to give me an out, and marry me. And when those results come in, we'll deal with that, too.

Reva: I have never been happier in my life. I had no idea I could even be this happy.

Rick: Your test results just came in.

Reva: I'll be there . . . later.

Lillian: You know, I like this. It's nice and simple. If only life were so simple.

Buzz: You do, huh?

Lillian: Mm-hmm.

Buzz: I think the idea of, you know, of being married, rather than getting married. Whatever that means.

Marina: I think it's awesome. I mean, the whole hotdog, hamburger kind of wedding. I think it's nice.

Buzz: What? What?

Frank: Where do you want this?

Buzz: What?

Frank: This! The ice.

Buzz: There.

Frank: There.

Coop: Here, I'll give you a hand.

Frank: That's great. That's terrific . . .

Buzz: Where's Mallet?

Marina: Mallet's out picking flowers.

Buzz: Picking flowers? (Laughter)

Marina: Hey, we needed flowers.

Lillian: Where's the groom guy?

Jeffrey: Ahh!

Josh: Ahh! (Grunting) (Struggling)

Mallet: Ow! That ones got thorns. I can't believe I got stuck doing this.

Daisy: I'm stuck here, too.

Mallet: Yeah, but it makes sense that they put you in charge of flowers. Daisy . . . Daisy! Daisy.

Daisy: Shut up! What, did you want to be on? What, hammer detail?

Mallet: Hammer detail? (Laughs) Now you're reaching.

Daisy: If you're going to be so grumpy, I've got to entertain myself somehow.

Mallet: I'm just . . . I'm a happy florist.

Daisy: I don't know what that is.

Josh: Ow!

Jeffrey: All right . . .

Josh: Ow! Oh!

Jeffrey: Now just stop it, Josh. Stop it, and get the hell out of here before Reva sees us, and you ruin this whole day for her.

Josh: You mean, before you ruin it for her!

Jeffrey: Josh, I'm going to marry her!

Josh: Yeah? We'll see about that!

Jeffrey: Watch me!

Reva: Stop! Stop it! Stop! What is going on? What is wrong with the two of you?

Josh: I'm doing -- I'm doing what I had to do, all right, Reva?

Reva: You started this?

Josh: Yeah!

Jeffrey: You thought I did?

Reva: If it meant getting him to leave, yes.

Jeffrey: He is gone. He is out of here. You are out of here . . .

Josh: I don't see her telling me to go.

Reva: Go!

Jeffrey: Josh, just leave, all right? She has enough to worry about right now.

Reva: It's okay. My cancer may be back. I, um . . . I found a lump. I don't have the test results yet.

Josh: When? Did you . . .

Reva: It just happened.

Josh: You . . .

Reva: He knows. He knows it all. I tell Jeffrey everything. And I'm not saying that to hurt you, Josh. I'm saying it so you know I learned my lesson.

Jeffrey: Do you need a minute?

Reva: Please.

Jeffrey: You look beautiful.

Reva: You weren't supposed to see me yet.

Jeffrey: What the hell?

Reva: I don't want the kids to know yet. Not until I've talked to the doctor and get the -- the results.

Josh: I'm sorry you have to go through this again.

Reva: Yeah, me, too.

Josh: At least you have Jeffrey, so . . .

Reva: You can be angry . . .

Josh: I'm not angry. I'm not, Reva. I love you. I love you -- as much as I did back then. And I would have been there for you if you had told me you were sick. And we wouldn't be standing here right now, with you in a wedding dress, getting married to someone else.

Reva: We don't know that, Joshua. We don't know that. I made a choice. And right or wrong, it was never meant to hurt you. And I'm making a choice again, today. And it's not meant to hurt you either. It has nothing to do with you.

Josh: You really love -- you really love him?

Reva: I do.

Josh: Okay. Okay, then I don't belong here. I'll go. Um, could you let me know what happens with the test results, because if I talk to the kids, I'd like to know what I'm talking about? If you don't -- if you don't want to tell me, that's fine . . .

Reva: Of course I'll let you know.

Josh: Okay. Billy -- he should be able to find me. Is it okay if I -- if I, uh . . . if I tell him?

Reva: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you -- yes, please tell him, but no one else. I really don't want it getting around until I know more from the doctors. Wait . . . where are you going?

Josh: I don't know. I don't know. Everybody's waiting for you. Bye.

Reva: Joshua?

Josh: I've got to go.

Jeffrey: Are you okay?

Reva: Are you?

Jeffrey: Uh, well, you know, I've heard of fighting dirty before, but not like this. And not today. I am sorry.

Reva: What woman wouldn't want two handsome men fighting over her on her wedding day? It's a first for me.

Jeffrey: Well, it's good to know there are still some firsts left.

Marina: Hey, you.

Remy: Hey. Can't figure this...

Marina: Here you go.

Remy: Thanks.

Marina: No problem.

Remy: It's Ava's.

Marina: You talked to her?

Remy: Yeah. You know, sometimes I don't want to interfere with her treatment.

Marina: How is she?

Remy: She's okay, I guess.

Marina: How are you?

Remy: I'm hanging in there. I miss her, and -- did you know Max would have been two weeks today? Maybe he would have been strong enough today to come home. I -- I don't know. He's on my mind all the time. It's just too soon, you know? Every day is a bunch of "should haves," "could haves."

Marina: I'm so sorry.

Remy: I asked Ava if I can, kind of, represent her, come to this for her and take some pictures. She wishes she could be here, but . . .

Marina: Yeah?

Remy: Yeah.

Marina: All right. Come here.

Remy: Wait. No.

Marina: No.

Remy: Give me that . . .

Marina: Smile.

Remy: No!

Marina: Remy, smile, damn it! There!

Remy: Mm-hmm?

Marina: Uh-huh!

Remy: Mm-hmm?

Marina: All right. See, now there's a picture that Ava will definitely want to keep. (Laughter)

Mallet: What am I supposed to do with these?

Marina: Oh, you shouldn't have.

Mallet: Oh, you're right. I shouldn't have.

Remy: That is my cue.

Mallet: Take your flowers.

Marina: See you, Remy.

Remy: See you.

Mallet: I have a better job for you, one that you'll really like.

Mallet: Hmm!

Buzz: Boys, we need more.

Coop: We're working as hard as we can here, Dad.

Daisy: I'll help.

Frank: No.

Buzz: No.

Olivia: Daisy, we need more flowers for the back.

Daisy: Mallet has them.

Lillian: Oh, where is he?

Marina: Right here.

Mallet: Flowers! More flowers. Oh, beer.

Coop: Yeah, get to work.

Mallet: Okay, good.

Buzz: There they are!

Lillian: Hey, what happened?

Jeffrey: Nothing. We're fine.

Lillian: Well, I think the minister is probably at the house already . . .

Reva: It's okay. We're going to go ahead and get hitched just like this.

Jeffrey: What the hell?

Reva: What the hell? (Laughter)

Buzz: So, who's doing the driving?

Reva: Well, not these three.

Jeffrey: Well, I'll drive us, but the rest of you . . .

Remy: We can take my car.

Lillian: Mine, too.

Jeffrey: Well, let's go, Ms. Shayne. The next time you get in this car, you're going to be Mrs. O'Neill.

Reva: Or you'll be Mr. Shayne. We'll have to figure that out on another day. (Laughter)

Billy: Hey, hey. Where's Reva? Holy . . . what -- what . . .

Josh: Don't ask, okay?

Billy: What did she do, kick your butt?

Josh: No, actually, Jeffrey did. Well, that's not -- that's not true. I gave as good as I got. But I started it, though.

Billy: What happened to the plan where we were supposed to be kidnapping Reva? Where we should be halfway to --

Josh: Billy --

Billy: It was a good plan.

Josh: It was a terrible plan, okay?

Billy: Is this a better plan?

Josh: I don't know what the plan is anymore.

Billy: Okay, just answer me one thing. Are you giving up now?

Josh: Yeah. I'm giving up Reva because it's the right thing to do. She loves him.

Billy: No, not as much as she loves you.

Josh: Billy . . . Billy . . . the cancer may be back.

Billy: What?

Josh: She had some tests -- some tests done. She's waiting for the results. She said I could tell you. I'm sorry, okay? I know how hard it was for you to go through that with her the first time around.

Billy: Yeah. You just found this out?

Josh: She just told me.

Billy: Did she tell Jeffrey?

Josh: Yes, she did. She actually said she learned her lesson from the first time around, when she didn't tell me about it. Go figure.

Billy: You know she's going to be okay, don't you? She's got to be.

Josh: Sure.

Billy: You're going to be okay, too.

Josh: Hey, I'm not going through anything compared to what she's going through.

Billy: Yeah, yeah, but you are going through something.

Josh: Do you want to go for a drive?

Billy: Yeah. Let's take a little road trip.

Josh: No. Just, um . . . just to the church.

Billy: Oh. Okay. That's better. Go in and say a few prayers. You get in, I'll drive.

Josh: Okay.

Marina: No, wait . . .

Remy: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! (Horn honking)

Marina: No. Get in the car. Stay in the car. We're not finished.

Reva: Oh, my God.

Jeffrey: What happened?

Remy: Just some guy that was here said it's been scheduled.

Jeffrey: My wedding was scheduled!

Marina: It's okay. We're just going to go to plan "B." We'll go to plan "B."

Jeffrey: There is no plan "B."

Marina: Then we'll . . . I don't know what we're going to do.

Remy: Hey, Reva?

Reva: It's a sign.

Jeffrey: It's not a sign.

Reva: Yeah.

Jeffrey: No, it's not a sign. You want to see a sign? Here! See? That's a sign, Reva. That's a sign!

Reva: Just married?

Jeffrey: What?

Reva: Just married -- that sign is a sign. She didn't have time to finish it. Maybe we don't either!

Jeffrey: Reva, we do have time to get this done, okay? This is gonna get done, and it's gonna get done in time. In time for what? What are you talking about? Oh, my God, did you hear from the hospital?

Reva: I got a call. The hospital has the test results, but I told them later.

Jeffrey: Good, because I'm going to marry you. I'm going to marry you now.

Reva: Jeffrey --

Jeffrey: No. Listen, we have everything we need. We have friends, we have flowers, we have cake. We even have a half finished sign that says this is supposed to happen! Okay? So what more could we possibly need?

Reva: I have all I need. Okay, quick, before the car breaks down.

Marina: Hey, wait!

Remy: Hey, where you going?

Mallet: What are these things?

Buzz: Mosquitoes, you -- ow!

Coop: You had one on you. I'm sorry.

Lillian: Oh, oh, oh, oh! We're not ready for you yet.

Reva: Why does everybody keep saying that?

Lillian: Um, I'm really sorry about the house and everything, but are you feeling okay?

Jeffrey: We're fine. We'll just do it here.

Lillian: Well, a lot of bugs --

Buzz: Ow!

Lillian: Well, we put the food out too early, and there were ants crawling all over it, we've got mosquitoes, but it's under control.

Marina: Hey, what's going on?

Remy: Yeah, you guys sped out of there.

Reva: I know. We were in a hurry to get married. Thanks.

Buzz: Oh!

Lillian: Bugs.

Remy: Oh.

Marina: Ew!

Frank: Oh, my God, whatever you do, don't -- don't eat the potato salad, okay?

Daisy: It's not the food. It's karma for being mean to your niece.

Marina: Maybe it was all that beer.

Lillian: Buzz just has the worst luck with potato salad.

Reva: You think he has the worst luck? Jeffrey --

Jeffrey: All right. You know what? All we need is the cake? Do we have a cake? We just need to cut the cake.

Reva: That's good.

Mallet: Yeah, um . . . about the cake, guys --

Reva: Oh, please don't tell me there aren't anymore of those little cupcakes left?

Coop: Um, two or three, maybe. I mean, I think the deer got the rest of them.

Mallet: Groundhogs, maybe.

Coop: Yeah, well, anyways, who took the lid off the cupcakes in the first place? I mean --

Reva: Oh, uh, that was probably us. We were testing the icing.

Jeffrey: It was good.

Reva: Really good.

Jeffrey: I -- I hate nature. Um, you know, I wanted to do this for you.

Reva: It's okay. It is. It's fine. Let's just forget the party, and let's go find the minister. Okay.

Jeffrey: Don't tell me --

Buzz: The minister had a family emergency. And  Hawk is somewhere over the Rocky Mountains.

Daisy: I'll give her away.

Reva: Yeah, I bet you would. You know what? It's fine. It's fine. We don't have food, we don't have a house . . . that's cool. Flowers? We have flowers.

Mallet: Deer, maybe.

Coop: Uh, groundhogs, possibly.

Jeffrey: Okay, you know what? We don't need -- we don't need any of that. We don't need anything. You know what? We have us, and that is all that we need, right? And we'll just -- we'll just go get married over there, you know, by the wagon. And afterwards, we can all go to the wagon for lunch or something.

Reva: Hotdogs.

Jeffrey: Okay?

Reva: Hotdogs!

Jeffrey: Nothing is going to ruin today. Okay? So let's all just -- let's go to the wedding, okay? Everybody! And the last one there has to eat Buzz's potato salad.

Reva: (Laughing)

Frank: Oh, no. No, no.

Buzz: What? (Laughter)

Buzz: Did you guys make a crack about the potato salad?

Josh: Okay, God . . . Billy's gone, and Reva is off getting married somewhere, so . . . it's just you and me. God, I thought this place -- I thought I belonged here. And I thought my calling would give me some answers. But the fact is . . . I just have more questions. I'm kind of thinking that I've been spending too much time telling you how to do your job. So maybe it is time for me to just shut up and let you tell me how to do mine because I really don't know what's next for me. Of course, the way I've been acting lately, I probably don't deserve any special favors. (Cell phone beeps) My son wants to see me. "On my way, Shayne." Thank you. Oh, um . . . one more thing. Could you look after his mom because . . . too many people need her, you know? We need her to be here with us. Thanks.

Jeffrey: Hello? Mr. Weenie wagon man?

All: Mr. Weenie wagon man!

Jeffrey: Anybody there?

Hot Dog Man: It's the weenie wagon man! What can I get you?

Jeffrey: Hi, um . . . how fast can you cook up 40 hotdogs?

Hot Dog Man: Would you like mustard on those? (Everybody yelling) (Laughter)

Reva: Oh, that feels good. So . . .

Jeffrey: Yeah?

Reva: This wedding better be good because the honeymoon could be over before it starts.

Jeffrey: Just . . . think of it like it's just a regular old doctor's appointment.

Reva: Yeah, one that could turn our lives upside down. It's not fair to start a marriage like that. It's not fair to put all that kind of pressure on you.

Jeffrey: We don't even know anything yet, right? Okay? Don't worry about me because I don't mind living my life upside down as long as I have you in it. And in case you didn't know, I am taking this husband gig very seriously. Focus, okay? Focus. Wedding.

Reva: Wedding.

Mallet: I don't know why I'm not on beer patrol.

Marina: (Laughing)

Mallet: What's this all about?

Marina: I like weddings.

Mallet: Well, I like weddings like this, you know, where you throw it all together and keep it real, and make it more about the people than the party.

Marina: Really?

Mallet: Yeah. Why?

Marina: I don't know. I guess I never really thought about what kind of wedding you would like. I think I kind of like that kind, too. You know . . . theoretically speaking.

Mallet: Mm-hmm. "Theoretically."

Marina: Mm-hmm.

Mallet: How come you didn't marry any of those other guys?

Marina: You really want to talk about all my fugitive ex- boyfriends right now? Because I don't.

Mallet: Yeah, me either.

Reva: What are you doing?

Daisy: I was just thinking about how I should walk you down the aisle. How does this look?

Reva: Very graceful. You don't want to be here.

Daisy: I do.

Reva: That's my line. (Laughter) Hey, thank you for not bringing Grady.

Daisy: Yeah. Well, it's just for today. Don't take it as a sign or anything.

Reva: I'm trying not to take anything as a sign today, believe me.

Daisy: What does that mean?

Reva: Forget it.

Daisy: Yeah, well, just know that he's not around today, but don't get used to it.

Reva: (Laughing) Come on. Why don't you practice walking me to the beer?

Daisy: Oh, sure!

Reva: None for you.

Buzz: Okay, everybody, on three. One, two, three!

All: Here comes the bride, all dressed in... black and white --

Reva: Enough, enough, enough!

Lillian: Are you guys ready?

Jeffrey: I know I am.

Reva: Me, too.

Buzz: Okay, then let's get to it! (Chattering)

Cassie: Hey.

Josh: Hey. Are you surprised to see me? You thought I would be off somewhere breaking up a wedding someplace?

Cassie: Uh, yeah. Just for the record, Reva did invite me, but I -- so that's still happening?

Josh: If it hasn't already.

Cassie: So why -- why did you come here?

Josh: I came to say good-bye.

Remy: Wait, can you even do that?

Mallet: Well, he's the lawyer. He'd know, right?

Jeffrey: There is no law that says I can't.

Buzz: So it's settled. Let's go!

Frank: No, no. Hold on one second. Shouldn't we confirm this?

Marina: No!

Coop: No!

Lillian: Have you all figured something out?

Buzz: Yes!

Reva: So who's marrying us?

Jeffrey: I am!

Reva: Okay.

Jeffrey: Ah, wait a minute. Would you stand up there with me? I think that Ava would really like that.

Remy: I'd be honored. (Laughter)

Daisy: (Clears throat)

Reva: (Laughing) Gracefully. So, um . . . how do we do this?

Jeffrey: I'm not sure. Dearly beloved . . . (clears throat) . . . we are gathered here today because this beautiful woman and I, we want to -- we want to get married. Uh . . .

Reva: (Giggling) So far so good. Keep going!

Jeffrey: Okay. So, uh, well, let's just cut to the good part, shall we? Uh, Reva Shayne, do you take me, Jeffrey O'Neill, as your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health?

Reva: I've heard enough. I do.

Jeffrey: Okay. And do I, Jeffrey O'Neill, take you, Reva Shayne . . . wait a minute, I forgot something I'm supposed to ask them . . . I was supposed to ask you -- you know, if anyone here has any objections, speak now or --

Buzz: No!

Coop: No!

Marina: No!

Mallet: No! (Laughter)

Jeffrey: Okay, but you know what? There is something I do want to say. I want to tell you, and I want to tell everyone. Reva, my life with you has been so incredible ever since we've been together; ever since I started living it with you. And when we first got together, it was just supposed to be because we wanted to have a little fun. But the best part is it's still fun. It's a special kind of fun now. And it's fun . . . it's still fun because, I love you. And I love you . . . I love the way you smile. I love the way you keep me on my toes. I love the way you make me want to be a better man. I love it all, you know. And I promise you that I'm going to do everything I can to keep that smile -- that one right there on your face -- for as long as we both shall live. And do I take you to be my wife? You bet I do!

Daisy: Wait, not yet! Jinx!

Jeffrey: Oh, right, yeah. We wouldn't want to jinx the wedding because it's gone like clockwork so far!

Reva: (Laughing) (Laughter)

Jeffrey: So, um . . . I now pronounce us man and wife. And I am going to kiss my bride. (Cheers and applause) (Laughter) Let's party! (Cheering)

Reva: I want to propose a toast! (Cheering) Oh, yeah! Come on in. Come on, grab it. Here. Sweetie, that's for you.

Daisy: Thank you.

Reva: You're welcome. Okay. Everybody ready? Here's to my wonderful new husband.

Buzz: Here, here.

Reva: Thank you. But I'm not done yet. (Laughter) Here's to the surprise of finding love at this time in my life. And . . . to marrying a man who likes me just fine the way I am.

Jeffrey: Someone who loves you the way you are.

Reva: And to a man who interrupts me to say the things that every girl wants to have him say. I love you, Jeffrey.

Jeffrey: Right back at you!

Buzz: Here -- here.

Reva: And I want to thank all of you for sharing this day with us here, today, because I'll -- I'll never forget this. And now . . . if I can find my bouquet, ladies? It's right over here. Hold on. Come on. Ready? Come on, Lillian! One, two, three!

Marina: Daisy!

Buzz: Oh! (Everybody talking)

Mallet: Cheers.

Reva: (Laughing) You're a lucky man.

Josh: Thank you. I really wanted to tell R.J. myself.

Cassie: That's okay. You can tell him when you get back. I'll just explain to him that sometimes you get to be a dad here, and sometimes you have to be a dad somewhere else. I'm sure Shayne is really excited.

Josh: Well, it was his idea. It couldn't have come at a better time.

Cassie: Yeah, before you actually broke your hand on Jeffrey's jaw?

Josh: It's got nothing to do with Reva and Jeffrey. It's not even about Reva. I know that now. I don't know what's next for me. I really don't. But I have come to realize something. We didn't fall apart because of Reva or anybody else. We didn't fall apart because of cheating. I have been lost. I think, just as much as you have been. The only difference is I just didn't know it, or I just -- I didn't admit it to myself. And it's time for me to go away somewhere, figure some things out. Which is, kind of, funny because that's something you've been telling me that you've needed to do for a long time.

Cassie: I wish I could help you, but I'm no farther along to figuring anything out than you are.

Josh: I think, I just want to say that . . . we didn't fall apart because we didn't love each other enough. Or because I love somebody else. I wanted you to know that.

Cassie: Thank you. (Cheering)

Buzz: Oh! Oh, my crazy kids!

Lillian: Oh, I love your crazy kids.

Buzz: You know, for all of the catastrophic, horrendous, idiotic things that happened today, one thing went right. It was that they found each other, Jeffrey and Reva. I mean, if they can survive this --

Lillian: They can survive anything. (Inaudible)

Reva: How's your hand?

Jeffrey: It's fine. I mean, I can still . . . strum.

Hmm. Not exactly the wedding night of your dreams, huh?

Jeffrey: Yours either.

Reva: True.

Jeffrey: You know, I never really had a wedding night in my dreams. I never dreamt that I would ever even be married, so . . . that's a first for me. And I'm sure there are going to be many, many more of those with you.

Reva: You hope there will be.

Jeffrey: I know. I love you.

Reva: I love you.

Jeffrey: You okay, Mrs. O'Neill?

Reva: I'm -- I'm sick about all of this, especially after how perfect yesterday was.

Jeffrey: Who says today can't be just as perfect?

Reva: Well, the doctor?

Jeffrey: It's just a regular old checkup. Unless we hear something different, that's all this is.

Reva: Uh, you know, I think I really am going to be sick. Um . . . you go ahead. I'm just going to --

Jeffrey: I'll go with you.

Reva: No, no, it's fine. It's just nerves. I'll be back in a second.

Jeffrey: Dr. Hendrix. Reva will be back in a minute. Could you tell me, you know, if it's bad? Because if it's bad, I think that I should really tell her. Please?

Doctor: Have a seat. It's good news. There is no cancer.

Jeffrey: Oh! Thank you. Thank you. I'll go tell her --

Doctor: Wait. There's one more thing.

Jeffrey: What?

Doctor: Mr. O'Neill, your wife is pregnant.

Coming up on "Guiding Light" . . .

Jeffrey: Reva is pregnant?

Jeffrey: That's right.

Reva: I need a shot of whiskey... maybe a dozen. I need a drink. Here's to cancer! I beat you once, I can beat you again. And screw you for almost messing up my wedding!

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