Guiding Light Transcript Thursday 7/12/07

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Provided by Suzanne
Proofread by Tanya

Reva: Guess what my three new favorite words are?

Jeffrey: Are they dirty?

Reva: ( Laughs ) "No strings attached."

Jeffrey: Oh. Nice and clean. No messes, no garbage.

Reva: Well, at least not for us, but this room... don't you have a housekeeper or something that comes and cleans up for you?

Jeffrey: Yeah, well, uh... Deirdre and I, you know, we had a thing.

Reva: Oh. So I guess it didn't work out.

Jeffrey: She skips my room now.

Reva: ( Laughs ) You have to be careful who you piss off.

Jeffrey: Or who you turn on.

Reva: Mmm! You better be careful, because this is a drama-free zone.

Jeffrey: Oh, well then maybe I should hang a sign above the bed, you know. Maybe some traffic cones.

Reva: That would be fun. That would be fun. I think that's my new favorite fourth word: "Fun."

Jeffrey: "Fun?" ( Knock on door )

Josh: Jeffrey? It's Josh Lewis.

( Alarm clock ringing )

Dinah: Stop! ( Alarm clock ringing ) "Alarm clock, push button. Red button... back. Push button." Come on, you just did this. "Door, knob, pull." "Door, knob, pull."

Mallet: Frank, thank you for getting Buzz to close Company for the party.

Frank: Oh, I'm glad I could do it, man.

Mallet: Hey, listen, one more thing.

Frank: Name it.

Mallet: I'd like to take some more time off.

Frank: Okay. I can make that happen. I know you're putting a lot of hours in with the crime commission, so...

Mallet: Well, actually with the crime commission, I think I'm going to resign. I just... I want to be with Dinah.

Frank: Is Dinah really that bad?

Mallet: No, she's great. She's doing really, really well, actually. It's just, she needs me right now.

Frank: Have you told the Attorney General?

Mallet: No, not yet.

Frank: Oh, Mallet, man. I know that crime commission means a lot to you and all that, and you put a lot of time in on it. I tell you what? Why don't you take a little break, then maybe you can come back?

Mallet: No, it's cool, Frank. I've given a lot of thought. Dinah's going to fight me on it.

Frank: You haven't even told Dinah yet.

Mallet: Frankie, my boy, I haven't even told her about the party.

Frank: Oh, Mallet.

Mallet: I'll see you later, all right?

Frank: All right.

Mallet: Dinah, honey, you all right?

Dinah: Yeah.

Why?

Mallet: Well, I was just worried. It almost went to voice mail.

Dinah: Oh, I was just in the

bathroom.

Mallet: Okay. Listen, do you feel like getting out of the house?

Dinah: Out where?

Mallet: Company. I kind of threw together a party for you.

Dinah: ( Laughs )

Aw, honey, you didn't have to

do that.

Mallet: Yes, I did, because everyone wants to see you, so... I don't know, you feeling up for it?

Dinah: Sounds great.

Mallet: Okay, I'll swing by and pick you up.

Marina: Hey.

Cyrus: Hey. They picked the right girl for that job-- full of hot air.

Marina: I've been nice to you lately.

Cyrus: Yes, you have-- very, very nice.

Marina: Well, thank you for coming. They'll appreciate it.

Cyrus: Dinah and Mallet.

Marina: Yeah. It's kind of weird when you think about it.

Cyrus: What about you?

Marina: What about me?

Cyrus: It means nothing to you that I'm here?

Marina: Well, actually, I could use you on balloon detail.

Cyrus: Oh, right. You only want me for my air.

Marina: Well, I mean, if it's all right, if you're not too exhausted after driving Alexandra all over town.

Cyrus: Detective.

Marina: Okay, I'm happy you could be here. Are you happy now?

Cyrus: Happier. I'll be right back. I just got some business to take care of.

Marina: Yeah.

Cyrus: Terri, good to see you.

Terri: Can't imagine why.

Cyrus: Well, you're my favorite immigration agent.

Terri: Uh-huh. Does your little girlfriend know you're about to be deported?

Cyrus: Terri, I think you and I got off on the wrong foot the other day. There must be some amicable way we can solve this little green card issue.

Terri: You don't want to go there.

Cyrus: I'll go anywhere you like.

Terri: Australia-- one way.

Cyrus: You're quick, I like that.

Terri: And I like women. I'm not into men, you idiot. You want out of this mess? Come up with some cold, hard cash fast.

Josh: I know you're in there, Jeffrey. Mel told me you're working from home today.

Jeffrey: Just a sec!

Reva: ( Laughing ) Stop. We're both mature adults. Stop.

Josh: I really don't want to do this through the door, okay?

Jeffrey: Speak for yourself-- I would hide in the bathroom.

Reva: Yeah, fine, then you hide in the bathroom. I'm going to go answer the door.

Jeffrey: No. No, no.

Reva: Okay, then you go.

Jeffrey: Hey, Josh. Where's the fire?

Josh: Mel told me you're working with Reva and I'm looking for her. It's pretty important, so, if you...

Jeffrey: Oh, well...

Reva: I'm right in here!

Jeffrey: Okay, so you guys definitely need to talk and, you know, I've got to run some errands. See you.

Reva: So, you were looking for me?

Josh: Yeah. Um... I... I watched the DVD, the security footage from the hospital. In fact, Cassie walked in just as I was getting to the part where she switched the paternity results.

Reva: So, if Rick decides that he wants to keep that secret and raise the baby as his own, you're okay with that?

Josh: Yes. What?

Reva: I just find that hard to believe.

Josh: Why is that? Because I'm studying to become a minister?

Reva: Because you're you.

Olivia: Casual Friday?

Jeffrey: Is it Friday?

Olivia: I have to apologize for last night. When I walked in, saw you and Reva, and she's eating my food, and I just... I freaked out.

Jeffrey: Yeah.

Olivia: But I will say that, you know, in my defense, Counselor, I was... I was hungry.

Jeffrey: Okay, well, you know, just put it on my tab.

Olivia: Don't think that I won’t.

Jeffrey: We're all set, then.

Olivia: Yeah. No. I mean, see, the thing is is that when I saw that it was Reva, of all people, and Reva and I, we have this thing...

Jeffrey: Yeah, this mutual hatred?

Olivia: Well, we don't bring out the best in each other, but the point is that I... I walk in and I see her sitting there, you know, acting like she owns the place-- my place-- and you...

Jeffrey: Well, nobody owns me.

Olivia: No, I know. I know that. Look, I... and I know that nothing's going on with the two of you. Billy told me that the only reason she said you were sleeping together was to get a rise out of me.

Jeffrey: Olivia...

Olivia: And that is so like her. That is so like her, but it's so like me to take the bait. Look, I overreacted. I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking.

Mallet: Dinah?

Dinah: Hey.

Mallet: Hey.

Dinah: Hi.

Mallet: Are you ready?

Dinah: ( Chuckles ) Yep.

Mallet: Well, almost. Come here. ( Laughter ) Let me fix that for you. You're sort of ready. Did you do this on purpose? Uh-oh, you're trying to entice me.

Dinah: What?

Mallet: Ow, ow, you're twisting my arm. Okay, we can be late to the party.

Dinah: No, come on. It's me they're waiting for, I've got to be on.

Mallet: True. I guess this has got to be on, too. There we go. Baby?

Dinah: Yeah?

Mallet: It's so good to have you back.

Marina: You're not having Cyrus drive you around?

Alexandra: Well, he is my driver.

Marina: Well, yeah, but I thought you gave him the night off. I mean, especially after all the late nights lately.

Alexandra: What do you mean? I'm in bed by 10:00 every night.

Marina: Well, now this.

Alexandra: What's this?

Marina: Cyrus said it was business.

Alexandra: Well, not Spaulding business. It looks serious.

Cyrus: How am I supposed to get 100,000 bucks?

Terri: Stop hitting on me and tap that.

Cyrus: My boss? You've got to be kidding me. Terri, I'm a law abiding citizen.

Terri: Not yet. Come on, Cyrus, she's a Spaulding, she's rich. You're a very attractive man, if you're into that. We all win. I'll be in touch.

Cyrus: ( Sighs ) We all win.

Mallet: Hey, I just... I figured low-key was better than Towers.

Dinah: It's perfect. ( Applause )

Frank: Hey, everybody, look, our guest of honor is here!

Remy: Oh, man, it's so good to see you.

Marina: You look great, Dinah.

Alexandra: We're very happy you're going to put it all behind you. ( Applause continues )

Dinah: How do you always know just what I...

Remy: Hey! So good to see you up and out again, my God. So, what's the plan, you taking it easy? Probably going back to work?

Mallet: No, you know, the TV station, that... that can all wait.

Remy: But what about your fans?

Frank: Thanks for your tip the other day.

Alexandra: Well, I just thought you'd want to know.

Frank: So, Alex, what's your stake in all this?

Alexandra: Well, you know, it's very dangerous to have a distracted driver on the road.

Frank: I'm still working on it.

Alexandra: Mmm. Excuse me, I have to make a call.

Cyrus: Baby burgers.

Marina: Ah, you haven't lived until you've popped a few sliders.

Cyrus: That sounds naughty.

Marina: That's what the baby burgers are called.

Cyrus: Oh, I see.

Marina: I know you prefer champagne and caviar and long-legged business women, but...

Cyrus: No, there's no telling which way they swing.

Marina: What do you mean?

Cyrus: You talking about my associate outside?

Marina: No. No, I wasn’t...

Cyrus: You'd be bored if I went through that with you.

Marina: No. No, no, no. Your business is your business.

Cyrus: Let me ask you something. How many of these special baby burgers would it take to equal one big burger?

Marina: Sometimes it just takes one special one.

Jeffrey: Okay, look, we're going to have to push it back. I'm sorry. Thank you. That wasn't about Reva.

Olivia: Well, I didn't think that it was. Give me a little credit, will you?

Jeffrey: Well, you know, you really know how to push it sometimes.

Olivia: How am I pushing it when I'm just sitting over here minding my own business?

Jeffrey: Well, you know, I would love to take you at your word but, you know, I just find it a little hard to trust you, that's all.

Olivia: You... oh, I'm sorry. You want to talk about trust issues? I'll talk about trust issues.

Alexandra: Oh, Olivia! I'm just wondering if you know the meaning of the word "Trust."

Olivia: Well, we were just talking about that, Alex...

Alexandra: Yeah, right, right. You called my brother behind my back when you know I'm checking on his messages, I tell you...

Olivia: I told you not to worry about that.

Alexandra: Unless you two are planning to double-cross me in some way.

Olivia: No! No, we are not doing that. That is not what this is about.

Jeffrey: So, you're on my case about Reva, and then you and Alan...

Olivia: Okay, this is nuts. Nuts.

Jeffrey: It's about Reva, isn't it? You called Alan because you're going to go after Reva.

Reva: Don't they have rules about this in divinity school? Shouldn't you be in another room or something?

Josh: I... I thought you were happy about what I was doing.

Reva: I am happy. I am happy about it, Joshua, but what have 99% of our fights been about over the years?

Josh: You doing something wild and reckless.

Reva: And you being too judgmental about it. And now that you're going to be a minister...

Josh: Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. Do you hear me being judgmental toward Cassie for what she did, or you for helping her cover it up? No. Is the baby better off with Rick? Probably. Does Alan deserve this? Maybe.

Reva: Maybe?

Josh: Okay, definitely. You were hoping... you were hoping for a chance to ream me out for being high and mighty for telling the world about Beth’s baby...

Reva: Wait a minute. You came here looking for me.

Josh: I understand what Cassie did. I understand that she made a choice. It's not for me to condemn or condone. In the same way I'm not saying anything about what you're doing.

Reva: What I'm doing?

Josh: It's your choice, Reva.

Reva: Oh, you know, I was waiting for this.

Josh: If you want to spend your life this way, then...

Reva: I spent one night this way.

Josh: I'm just saying. I'm just saying. You do what you want. It's fine with me.

Reva: No, it's not. Come on, Joshua. We're just a couple of old friends around here, right? If you don't want me to be with Jeffrey, just say it.

Josh: Who you sleep with, Reva, is none of my business.

Reva: But you have an opinion about it. I saw it written all over your face the minute you walked into this room. You don't want me to be with Jeffrey O’Neill. Hmm? And why is that? Because he's a ladies' man? Because he's a bad boy? Or maybe because he looks a little too much like Richard? Just say it. But if you do, be prepared for a little follow-up. Why don't you tell me who you want me to sleep with?

Josh: I came here to tell you Rick knows and no one else. So don't say anything.

Reva: That's what I thought, because that's the path you're on, right? Don't admit to anything because then you don't have to own up to it.

Josh: It's up to Rick now.

Jeffrey: So, wait, you've been making deals with Alan when you know that he's just looking for an excuse to get back at Reva. Are you obsessed with Reva?

Olivia: No, no, you are obsessed with the woman.

Jeffrey: I am not. She’s... she's a client.

Olivia: Okay, you know, you should be thanking me for looking out for you.

Jeffrey: Thank you? Okay, I should thank you for what, making trouble for Reva?

Olivia: I know how damaging your "client" can get, okay? I've had it up close and personal. You know, forgive me for trying to do you a favor, not that you deserve anything. You've been playing me for months.

Jeffrey: I am just trying to make things right.

Olivia: For you. For you-- you're trying to make things right for you. I can't seem to get you to understand. You are the most insensitive man I have ever met.

Jeffrey: We can’t... why can't we... we can't just talk, can we? No, no, we have to collide, we have to clash. You know what? We can't fix it, so let's just forget it.

Olivia: Just... just go on with your simple, carefree life, is that it?

Jeffrey: Well, that's about all I can handle right now.

Olivia: Oh, I see, I'm too complicated for you.

Jeffrey: You... you are the most complicated woman I've ever met. Every time I think about you, I realize that.

Olivia: Oh, just fine. Go on with your little carefree life. Go sleep with the whole town, for all I care. Go sleep with Lizzie and Alex and Roxie and Moxie.

Jeffrey: Well, actually, right now, it's just Reva, thank you very much. That's right-- Reva. At least it's uncomplicated. It's something that you and I can never be.

Olivia: I had a man who wanted to marry me just for me. We were... we were getting ready to be married, and you stopped me. Why?

Jeffrey: I don't know.

Marina: What're you doing?

Cyrus: Um... just thinking about what you said before, about the little burgers.

Marina: What did I say?

Cyrus: I know I don't act like it sometimes, but I just... want you to know that the little things, they do mean something to me.

Marina: I... I was just giving you a hard time.

Cyrus: No, I'm just... I'm saying that sometimes big things get in the way of enjoying the little things.

Marina: Big things.

Cyrus: Outside stuff working against us.

Marina: Against who?

Cyrus: Us. You, me, whoever. And... this outside stuff can sometimes make something that should be so easy so not easy. What?

Marina: Usually, you're so smooth.

Cyrus: There's a lot going on right now that's complicated.

Marina: No, I meant, after everything you've been through, maybe you're being a little hard on yourself. Oh, okay. I'm going to go back inside.

Cyrus: No, no, no, stay out here with me.

Marina: No, I really don't want to make things more complicated, Cyrus.

Cyrus: Marina, I'm going to figure this out. What I'm doing a really bad job of saying is I'm not giving up, not when there's so much at stake.

Matt: Vanessa's stuck in traffic on her way out of Chicago. Mallet put this together for you last minute.

Dinah: Yeah, nice.

Matt: You okay?

Dinah: Yeah. It's just a lot. It was a very good idea for you to give me that notebook idea. It's really been helping a lot.

Matt: Yeah. You know, he won't think any less of you for using it.

Dinah: I know.

Matt: He can help you, too.

Dinah: I'm fine, I'm fine. I just... I'm getting my system down and it's all coming back to me, you know, and... I'm just going to talk to... I know his... I know his name. I know everything about him. What's his name?

Matt: Remy. Remy Boudreau. It's okay.

Dinah: I'm going to go outside and get some air.

Matt: Dinah.

Dinah: Just tell Mallet, okay?

Reva: No, that's unacceptable! Well, you know what? If you knew me better, you'd know that I don't take no for an answer. Oh! Sorry, fundraising.

Jeffrey: Sounded more like hell-raising.

Reva: Yeah, well, I'm trying to set up these meetings, these sessions about the cancer research fund-raisers and it just... I do much better when I'm angry. You know: Josh.

Jeffrey: Oh, yeah, I know, because I just ran into Olivia.

Reva: We're not supposed to do this.

Jeffrey: What, drink?

Reva: Talk. Whine about our love lives. This is when I should be leaving.

Jeffrey: You can’t. All right, go ahead, you know, go ahead. Go ahead, leave, leave. But you'll be missing out on a nice little game I devised just for the two of us.

Reva: What if I don't want to play?

Jeffrey: Well, then I'll get to drink both of these all by myself. But if you want to be a chicken, go ahead. Cluck. Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck. Chicken!

Reva: I'm listening.

Jeffrey: Okay, good. This game is called, "How stupid am I?"

Reva: Oh, no, no, no. We can't play that game. That does nothing for a person's ego.

Jeffrey: Give it a chance, please. Just give it a chance, okay? I'll go first, loser drinks.

Reva: ( Laughs ) Okay.

Jeffrey: Okay, good, good. It's very easy. Watch, I will demonstrate. How stupid am I? Okay, how stupid am I to constantly think about the one woman who reminds me of the worst moment of my entire life and the one woman who hates me more than anything else? And this woman, at the same time she hates me, she is jealous of anything that I talk to or anyone that I talk to. Beat that.

Reva: How stupid am I that I was trying to seduce my ex- husband, who's engaged to my sister when he was acting jealous but wouldn't admit it? Tie.

Jeffrey: That's a tie.

Olivia: Hi.

Josh: Hi. Is there a private party happening here?

Olivia: Well, if they let me in, they'll let anybody in.

Josh: For Dinah?

Olivia: Yeah, she got out of the hospital.

Josh: So, where is she?

Olivia: I don’t... I don't know. I missed her, too. Somebody said she went out for some air. Why don't you have some punch with me?

Marina: You're awfully quiet.

Cyrus: You complaining?

Marina: No. I'm just wondering what's causing it.

Cyrus: Things were easier when it was just about outsmarting the cops.

Marina: Thanks.

Cyrus: No, I mean, at least it was clear. Me on one side, everyone else on the other.

Marina: And now?

Cyrus: I could be in real trouble.

Marina: Well, if you're afraid about my dad or Alexandra...

Cyrus: No, don't worry about it. I'll take care of it. I'm very creative when I'm highly motivated.

Alexandra: Well, looks like the party's over.

Cyrus: Hey.

Alexandra: Dinah's left.

Cyrus: Oh.

Alexandra: Well, sorry, but I would really like to get home now.

Cyrus: Are you going to be here later?

Marina: Yeah. I... I'll probably clean up and then go home.

Cyrus: Okay.

Alexandra: Cyrus.

Cyrus: Right. I'll... I'll call you.

Marina: Okay.

Mallet: Hey. What's wrong? What happened? Come here. Hey, here.

Dinah: Hey, I'm sorry. I just needed to get out of there.

Mallet: No, no, it's my fault. I should have said something the second I knew.

Dinah: You knew?

Mallet: Yeah, the party. I mean, it's too much too soon. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I just wanted to do something nice for you and, obviously, I wasn't thinking. I didn't even give you notice.

Dinah: Well, if you noticed, then other people noticed.

Mallet: No, no, no. I don't think so. I just caught the look on your face when you walked in. Come on, you must be feeling a lot of emotional stuff.

Dinah: Yeah, a lot of emotional stuff.

Mallet: Listen, I talked to Frank, okay? I'm going to take extra time off. And I'm going to step down from the crime commission.

Dinah: No, you can't do that.

Mallet: It’s... it's done, it's decided.

Dinah: No, Mallet, I'm not always going to be like this.

Mallet: Baby, I know. I know. I know.

Dinah: You can't give up your life for me.

Mallet: You are my life. Everything else is just stuff.

Dinah: I love you.

Cyrus: Will you be needing anything else?

Alexandra: This damn clasp. It's so secure, I cannot get it off sometimes. Well, no, thank you. Thank you, that's all.

Cyrus: A five-year-old could crack that. Forget driving the car, they should have me working security. I wonder how much that crew gets paid. 100 thou? Those pearls are worth at least that much. Just do it. Crack the safe, grab the pearls, make that blackmailing U.S.C.I.S. agent disappear. How could she not be into me? The Spaulding’s are worth billions. Who's going to miss one strand of pearls?

Alexandra: Oh, good, you haven't left.

Cyrus: Need something else?

Alexandra: Company.

Cyrus: Oh, I'll drive you back.

Alexandra: ( Laughs ) Silly boy. I mean, your company. I felt like having a drink and I spend so many hours looking at the back of your head, I thought a little face time might be nice.

Cyrus: I'd like that.

Josh: I think you need to talk.

Olivia: No. Well, I'm just... I'm confused about Jeffrey and Reva.

Josh: None of my business.

Olivia: See, that's the party line, Josh.

Josh: Well, we are at a party. You just said yourself, the banner's still up.

Olivia: ( Laughs ) No, no. Come on, you cannot be happy about this.

Josh: Really, why should I care if he's her current...?

Olivia: Lawyer.

Josh: Whatever.

Olivia: Well, see, that's their party line, too. It's just I... they're spending a lot of time together.

Josh: Why do you care?

Olivia: Because... because he's the father of my daughter, just like Reva is the mother of your children.

Josh: She's my ex-wife. She can do whoever she wants.

Olivia: Well, I'm your ex- wife, too, but not exactly like Reva.

Josh: Besides, I love Cassie.

Olivia: It's not the love.

Josh: And I plan on spending the rest of my life with her.

Olivia: I... yeah. I mean, look, Cassie and I have been friends and business partners. I would love to see the two of you happy. What I wouldn't like to see is her flattened by the Josh-Reva steamroller. Speaking from personal experience. I'm just trying to be a friend.

Josh: I appreciate that. I'll be fine. Um... you should go easy on that punch, you know? Things will work out the way they're supposed to.

Olivia: Says the man who always gets the girl. Don't take it for granted.

Josh: I don’t.

Olivia: Cassie came to me a while ago and she asked me to hold the Beacon ballroom for the day after you got out of prison. She said you were getting married soon. I've been holding that ballroom for two months, Josh. Holding the ballroom, but not necessarily my breath.

Josh: Nice drinking with you.

Reva: Beat you! That was another tie.

Jeffrey: There's way too many of those.

Reva: ( Laughs ) Okay, I've got another one.

Jeffrey: Oh, my God, no, no, please. Okay.

Reva: Yes!

Jeffrey: No, last one, last one.

Reva: You are a lightweight.

Jeffrey: Well, you know, you lost more than me. Wait a minute, I lost more than you. I lost more than you!

Reva: Who is the master of "How stupid am I?"

Jeffrey: You are. Wear it with pride. Wear that with pride.

Reva: Okay, here we go, last round.

Jeffrey: Okay. Hit me.

Reva: How stupid am I that I want a man...

Jeffrey: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, wait, wait.

Reva: The man...

Jeffrey: You want a man. The man-- you mean your ex- husband who's dating my...

Reva: No, who's engaged to...

Jeffrey: My ex-girlfriend.

Reva: My sister!

Jeffrey: Okay, I got it.

Reva: Okay.

Jeffrey: I got it. Go.

Reva: ( Laughs ) How stupid am I that this man that I want wants to be a minister? A spiritual leader. A holy man. And I want him to come back to me, the slut of Springfield.

Jeffrey: Oh. ( Laughs ) Slut. Slut, slut, slut!

Reva: Stop it!

Jeffrey: I'm a slut. I'm a slut!

Reva: You are a slut!

Jeffrey: I'm a slut, too! I'm a bigger slut than you.

Reva: You're a big slut. You win!

Jeffrey: I win!

Reva: You win so big time.

Jeffrey: Yes! I win. Drink up, loser.

Reva: I'm the loser!

Jeffrey: Drink up! ( Both screaming ) You know who the bigger loser is?

Reva: No. Olivia.

Jeffrey: Josh.

Reva: Olivia! ( Laughter )

Next on "Guiding Light"...

Cyrus: Got a killer pearl necklace on hand and just wondering if you might be interested.

Harley: Gus is my husband, so I wish you would stop acting like you are.

Rafe: There's a lot of nice things in Springfield.

Harley: You mean Daisy.

Alan: Harley will be the one that drives Raphael out of this town.

Gus: You're picking your daughter over my son.

Cyrus: If I'm going to stick around, can we finally quit all these stupid games and just be together?

Marina: Yes.

Natalia: I'm going to go back to Chicago and I'm going to take Rafe with me.

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