Guiding Light Transcript Friday 5/11/07

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Provided by Suzanne
Proofread by Tanya

Ava: So that's it? You're just giving up?

Buzz: Either help or get out.

Olivia: Well, if you think I came looking for you, you're wrong. That's your fantasy, not mine.

Jeffrey: Pure coincidence, right?

Olivia: How on earth would I know you'd be here?

Jeffrey: I guess it was just luck.

Olivia: I don't need this.

Jeffrey: Wait. What happened?

Olivia: I'm roaming the streets in my wedding dress instead of walking down the aisle. You figure it out.

Jeffrey: He broke it off?

Olivia: No, I did. I did the final honors. I thought I'd just save him the trouble.

Jeffrey: So I guess this is supposed to be where I say I'm sorry.

Olivia: If it were true.

Jeffrey: Olivia...

Olivia: No, don't. Don't make up some phony apology for my benefit, okay, because I want to keep it real, Jeffrey. Real bad, real twisted.

Jeffrey: Real works for me.

Olivia: There is nothing between us but a lousy history.

Jeffrey: And a beautiful daughter.

Olivia: Who probably feels like dirt right now, thanks to you.

Jeffrey: Look, don't lay this all on me.

Olivia: You ruined me. You ruined me. That's why I'm standing in a complete mess instead of toasting my new husband. And it wasn't just that kiss last night.

Jeffrey: Okay, go ahead.

Olivia: You destroyed any shot I had at a normal life 20 years ago.

Lizzie: Ooh, Mom, see! I told you the baby store was having a huge sale. Come on.

Beth: Lizzie, Lizzie, wait.

Lizzie: Come on, they're going to close!

Beth: That's why tomorrow was invented.

Lizzie: No, Mom, come on.

Beth: Lizzie, no. We've been shopping non-stop all day. And we already missed dinner. You're wearing me out. I need to rest.

Lizzie: But there' still so much stuff we have to get for the baby. Ooh, those little socks that look like shoes. Oh, and coral-colored summer blankets. We haven't even started shopping for dresses yet.

Beth: Lizzie, stop it. Now come on, I'm not giving birth tonight. And I already told you, we don't even know if this is a girl yet. So it doesn't make any sense to... wait a minute. These were all of the things you bought for Sarah.

Cassie: Josh?! Hello! Tammy, is that you? You're here, aren't you, baby? I want to show you something. I ordered this for you, before the wedding, and they just delivered it today. And there's a gift card. Isn't that beautiful? You'd be really beautiful in it.

Josh: Hey.

Cassie: Hey.

Josh: Hey, I thought I heard someone call my name. What are you doing up here?

Cassie: I just thought I'd come and see if you were ready for a break.

Josh: Oh, that's great. Unfortunately, no, I can't take a break. In fact, I think we may end up working here all night.

Cassie: Wow. So it really-- it was an emergency?

Josh: Yeah. The lighthouse caretaker called me and said there was some problem with one of the trusses, so we're working on that. But the cool thing is, I also found this bell mechanism hidden behind some of the newer construction. I'm going to try to work on that a little bit, see if I can get it going again.

Cassie: Really? I didn't even know lighthouses had bells.

Josh: Yeah, well, neither did I, but I'm thinking, you know, it's the anniversary here and all that, so what the heck? I might as well get it going. And besides, it was probably used for fogs and storms, stuff like that, and you never know. There may be a storm coming in any minute, right? Cassie, you okay?

Cassie: Yeah. Of course. Why?

Josh: I'm just asking, that's all. You know, this lighthouse, it has a tendency to make things seem clearer. Maybe it will do that for us. You know what, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done this.

Cassie: No, I think it's great.

Josh: No, no, no. I'm just saying I should have had somebody else oversee this job.

Cassie: Josh, I said I'm okay. And this isn't just some job, this is like a... like a mission.

Josh: A mission? Yeah, maybe I am looking for something like that.

Cassie: You mean you don't want to be a man of leisure and spend all of your time taking care of my needs?

Josh: I'm quite certain I can take care of all of your needs and do other things at the same time. I'm just-- I'm talking about, you know, what's next for me? In fact, maybe I came up here to the top of the lighthouse to figure that out.

Cassie: It's funny how things can just jump out at you out of nowhere sometimes, you know, catch you by surprise.

Josh: Yeah.

Cassie: Hey, are you okay?

Josh: Yeah. I'm just trying to adjust to the way things are.

Remy: Man, these are some work hours you keep.

Josh: Hey. What, you've got something else you've got to be doing?

Remy: Well, you offered me a job, and I'm here.

Josh: I'm glad.

Remy: You surprised I showed?

Josh: A little bit, yeah.

Remy: Well, I needed the bucks. Plus, I was this close to laying Rick Bauer a cold the other days, so I figure it is better to bang on them than him.

Josh: Well, you made the right choice. Cassie-- Cassie, come here! What are you doing?

Lizzie: Here you go. It is banana mango.

Beth: Lizzie, we need to talk about this.

Lizzie: Okay. So I printed out the same shopping list I used when I was buying Sarah's stuff. Who cares?

Beth: Who cares? We don't even know if this is a girl yet.

Lizzie: It is going to be, okay? Trust me. I've got a feeling. Look at this incredible stuff. Okay, wait. Is this not the most precious thing you've seen in your entire life? Wait, wait, wait. Oh, my God. To die for.

Beth: I'm not saying that these things aren't sweet.

Lizzie: Hello! They are beyond adorable. And, personally, I think it's good that I have something positive to focus on. I have all of this energy. Why not devote it to the baby?

Beth: Because there are so many things you could be focusing on in your own life.

Lizzie: You know what I do every night now? I fall asleep going over in my head all the things I want to teach with her. I dream about pushing her in the stroller, I swear. And, ooh, and taking her to mommy and me.

Beth: Mommy and me?

Lizzie: Yeah, she's going to love it.

Beth: Honey, you're not the mommy. I am.

Ava: Okay. There's still time to turn this around here. Make one of those incredible Cooper grand gestures.

Buzz: ( Laughs ) What do you think the wedding was?

Ava: Okay, fine. Something else then. There's still time. It's not too late. Buzz.

Buzz: That's exactly what it is. Look, we had a window of opportunity. Yeah, she might have married me today, but... here, put it in the bag.

Ava: No. Wait, wait, wait. No, no. Finish that. She might have married you today if what? If I hadn't pushed Jeffrey into talking to her before the wedding?

Buzz: Oh, don't blame yourself. Come on. It would have happened sooner or later anyway. We both know that.

Olivia: I better hurry up and do this because I'm about to lose my free booze privileges.

Jeffrey: Are you ever going to stop playing the victim?

Olivia: I'm sorry, do you think I enjoy feeling this way?

Jeffrey: I think you might get some satisfaction playing the poor pitiful me card over and over again.

Olivia: Don't you dare assume to know how I feel.

Jeffrey: You know, you kissed me today.

Olivia: I was confused. My marriage had just blown up in my face.

Jeffrey: No, not yet.

Olivia: How cruel can you be?

Jeffrey: You know, I feel like a bastard, okay? I feel like a bastard for all of it. That's why you're going to still need that dress.

Olivia: What?

Jeffrey: Because I'm going to go to Buzz, I'm going to sit him down and I'm going to set him straight. I'm going to put this whole thing back on track.

Olivia: No, you're not. No.

Jeffrey: I am not going to be responsible for ruining your life yet again, Olivia.

Olivia: Oh, once-- once is plenty, isn't it? Isn't it?

Jeffrey: You think this is funny?

Olivia: You can't fix it. You can't fix it. No matter how hard you try. I have been trying for 20 years to fix it. It doesn't work.

Jeffrey: It's not too late.

Olivia: Yes, it is. I've done everything. I've tried to get rid of it with men and money and booze. I tried to ignore it, stuff it down, leave it behind. I can't! Don't you get it? What you did to me is not just a part of who I am, it is who I am.

Jeffrey: Why does this have such a strong hold over you?

Olivia: I don't know. I don't know. All I can tell you is I can't let it go.

Jeffrey: Do you even want to get past this anger?

Olivia: What?

Jeffrey: Well, you keep bringing it up, the hurt, the anger, the outrage.

Olivia: What, do you think I enjoy it?

Jeffrey: No, I don't. But I do wonder if on some level you don't need it. Because there has to be some reason why you won't let yourself heal and move on.

Olivia: I have been living with so much rage inside of me for so long, and no one to direct it toward. All I have is this alcohol- tinged memory of this teenager, this kid, really, who led me up to a bedroom and took off my clothes... and I thought for sure that I'd never see him again, and certainly if I did, he would have to be a full-grown monster.

Jeffrey: With horns and a pitchfork?

Olivia: Why not? He sent me to hell. And it would be so easy to wish the worst things on him and want to hurt him the way that he hurt me. And that's exactly what I tried to do to you when I found out that he was you.

Jeffrey: You still have your moments.

Olivia: Can you blame me? Why do you think I didn't want you anyway near Ava? You don't deserve it. But then I saw something in you, something that scared me.

Jeffrey: What?

Olivia: You were kind to her. You were kind. You weren't totally evil. If you had even that much good in you, it changed everything. I think I hate you more now for taking my anger away. And I've tried so hard to walk away from this. If I had any sense at all right now, I would take off.

Josh: What was that? What were you doing?

Cassie: I don't know. I... I don't know.

Josh: Cassie.

Cassie: I'm going to go home before I get rained on. So good luck with the bells, and um... I'll have some dry clothes waiting for you when you get home, okay?

Josh: Okay. Cassie, wait! Cassie! Cassie!

Remy: These gears are jammed, man.

Josh: Did Cassie seem okay to you?

Remy: Is Cassie okay?

Josh: Yeah.

Remy: Is that what you're asking me?

Josh: Well, yeah, I guess so.

Remy: From here the Spaulding mansion looks like a birthday cake, all lit up and shiny.

Josh: Okay.

Remy: A big, happy birthday cake.

Josh: So what's your point?

Remy: It has manicured lawns, eight-car garage and has servants waiting hand and foot on Alan Spaulding. Every night he drinks the best wine, has a big Cuban cigar, and sleeps without dreams. You'd think he never killed Tammy, right? It doesn't matter to him. Nope, dude's living large. So to answer your question, Josh, I think Cassie is pretty damn far from being okay. I doubt she'll ever be okay again.

Josh: I don't believe that, Remy.

Remy: Believe what you want.

Josh: Look, what Cassie is dealing with right now, I can't even-- I can't even begin to imagine. But I know she's going to get through it. We're all going to get through it.

Remy: If you say so.

Josh: I'm saying it because I know it and because I believe in it. Our lives are not dictated by what's happened, good or bad, in the past. I'm saying it because I know it and because I believe it. Remy, our lives are not dictated by the bad things that have happened in them. I just know that I have to have some kind of faith, that there is some good, some tiny, good thing that is a reason for what happened to Tammy and to Jonathan and to Sarah. It just can't all have been for nothing. It just can't.

Cassie: He would love that, baby, wouldn't he?

Lizzie: Don't look at me like that. What, I'm not allowed to go shopping for the baby now?

Beth: That is not it and you know it.

Lizzie: Then what is it?

Beth: You are obsessed with this baby.

Lizzie: Would you rather I didn't care?

Beth: No, of course not. But you know who you're acting like? You're acting like your grandfather, and this obsession is not healthy.

Lizzie: Fine, I'll just take everything back.

Beth: That is not the point. The point... dwelling on this baby puts off the healing that you need to do around Sarah. It keeps her alive in a way that holds you back.

Lizzie: Oh, okay. So I'm just supposed to forget I was ever a mom, is that it?

Beth: No, no. But you are supposed to be out having fun with your friends, though.

Lizzie: What friends?

Beth: Lizzie.

Lizzie: No, it's cool, okay. I got the message. Being my usual crazy self and it's scaring you.

Beth: I'm just concerned, that's all.

Lizzie: I thought this was supposed to be a new beginning for all of us. That is why you and granddad are pretending the baby is his, right?

Beth: We are not pretending. This baby is Alan's. Lizzie, wait, wait. Lizzie, you've got the car... keys.

Cassie: Beth, hey, I have my car. I can give you a lift. It's going to start raining any second, Beth.

Beth: Oh, yeah. That's okay. I was just about to call my driver. He can come and pick me up.

Cassie: By the time he gets here, you're going to be drenched. Come on.

Beth: No, I'm fine, really.

Cassie: Beth, I'm going by your place, anyway. Okay? And it will give me a chance to apologize.

Beth: That's really not necessary.

Cassie: Well, you know what, I think it is. Because I was pretty harsh with you while Josh was in prison.

Beth: You were upset. It's understandable.

Cassie: Well, I want to put it behind us. So why don't you let me help you with your bags? Come on, it will give us a chance to talk.

Josh: Remy, you think there is not a day that goes by when I don't think about the people that I love, and how I might have saved them from whatever. The fact that I couldn't save Reva from cancer, I couldn't save Jonathan and Sarah from going off that road.

Remy: And you couldn't save Tammy, either.

Josh: Yeah, that's right, I couldn't.

Remy: Then what good are you? What good are any of us?

Josh: That's not for us to ask! Don't you get it? We do the best we can as often as we can, and then we move forward.

Remy: So, in other words, you don't have an answer.

Josh: No, I don't. If I did, I'd be a millionaire right now. If I did, I'd be a man who doesn't make mistakes, who doesn't have any regrets. And I'm not that, Remy. I'm only human.

Remy: Well, human sucks.

Josh: Remy, life is a precious thing. If it wasn't a precious thing, it wouldn't have mattered that Tammy died, would it? I may not have all the answers, but I know I have my belief.

Remy: Then you keep going, Josh.

Josh: Look, look, look, I know I can't fix everything. No matter how hard I try. But I do know that I can fix the things that are right in front of me, right here and now, including this bell thing. If I can do this, if I can fix this, it will count for something. If we can fix this, Remy, it will count for something.

Olivia: I... I have to go. This is too much. This is too wrong.

Jeffrey: What if it's not? What if it's not wrong? What if it's right? Did you ever think of that?

Olivia: Never, no.

Jeffrey: We're both, you know, we're both damaged goods, we're two of the most messed up people in the whole world.

Olivia: And that's something to be proud of?

Jeffrey: At least it's something that we both understand.

Olivia: You're unbelievable. Two hours ago I lose the man that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, the most wonderful, loving, giving...

Jeffrey: Maybe that is not the kind of man you need.

Olivia: I have to go. I have to get out of this dress. ( Knock on the door ) Go away, you son of a bitch!

Ava: It's Ava!

Olivia: You go away, too.

Ava: I'm not going away. Let me in.

Olivia: What the hell were you thinking last night?

Ava: I'm sorry.

Olivia: Don't give me sorry. You tell me-- you tell me why you sent Jeffrey here last night. Did you really think it was a good idea?

Ava: Yes, I did!

Olivia: You! You might as well help me with this dress. I can't get it off.

Ava: No. I came here to apologize. But I also came here to tell you not to give up.

Olivia: Your timing stinks.

Ava: There is still time to patch things up with Buzz. I am sure of it. I'm sure of it.

Olivia: You're sure, like it was a good idea to send Jeffrey over here last night sure?

Ava: I am trying to make up for this right now, okay? You told me you wanted to help me get back together with Coop. I want to do the same for you and Buzz.

Olivia: It's not going to happen.

Ava: It can happen if you want it to. He loves you.

Olivia: Not anymore.

Ava: You're wrong. He's devastated. I saw him, okay? It's not too late.

Buzz: I've been looking for you.

Jeffrey: Yeah, I figured you might be.

Buzz: What are you drinking?

Jeffrey: Scotch.

Buzz: Perfect.

Jeffrey: Okay. Let's skip the small talk. Go ahead. If you came here to hit me--

Buzz: ( Laughing ) No. I came here to ask you a favor.

Jeffrey: A favor?

Buzz: Yeah, I figured you owed me one. No, Olivia and I are through, it's over.

Jeffrey: And you blame me?

Buzz: Forget about blame. Listen, we all know what you did to her when she was a kid, right?

Jeffrey: Ruined her life and caused her so much pain that she'll never recover.

Buzz: So here it is, I have a question.

Jeffrey: A question and a favor. It must be my lucky day.

Buzz: Why do you think you can give her what she needs?

Jeffrey: What?

Buzz: Oh, come on, I'm not an idiot! You've had your sights on her for months.

Jeffrey: That's not true, Buzz.

Buzz: Okay, so you get things started with her. What if you being in her life ends up hurting her more? I mean, given your history, it could happen easily, right?

Jeffrey: That's just something we'll have to find out, isn't it?

Buzz: Have to find out? I don't want her to have to find out!

Jeffrey: Relax. Relax! Relax. Olivia and I aren't exactly leaping into something here. She hates me, Buzz, as much as she loves you.

Buzz: Oh, come on, that isn't the whole story. She's a complicated lady.

Jeffrey: Well, you know, there are some issues that we have to have some closure on. Excuse me.

Buzz: Tough, isn't it, living in the nightmare that you set in motion yourself? So you want to make it up to her, you want to help her get over the pain you caused?

Jeffrey: That's the idea.

Buzz: Because you care about her?

Jeffrey: I care about her feelings, yes.

Buzz: Well, then walk away.

Jeffrey: It's not that simple.

Buzz: Oh, it is that simple. You just have to do one simple thing: Figure out how much you do care about her.

Ava: Just stop!

Olivia: Who was I kidding? I never should have put that thing on.

Ava: You love Buzz every bit as much as he loves you. You wouldn't be flipping out so much if you didn't.

Olivia: I do love him.

Ava: Of course you do.

Olivia: I've never felt so secure and safe than when I was with him.

Ava: Okay, good. Well, then, find him and tell him that.

Olivia: No.

Ava: You are not making sense right now.

Olivia: It's not fair for me to go running back to him after I've just hurt him like this. And I will again.

Ava: Why do you say that?

Olivia: Because, Ava, sweetheart, it's me, it's me in this dress. I mess up the good things in my life, especially the best ones. Somehow it's going to blow up in my face. I might as well get out before it happens.

Ava: Okay. This is about Jeffrey, isn't it?

Olivia: Not the way you think.

Ava: Do you...

Olivia: Love him? Absolutely not.

Ava: Well, then what is it?

Olivia: Honestly, I don't know how to live my life without Jeffrey. I've hated him for so long. He's probably closer to me than Buzz could ever be. I need to hate him, and I need to forgive him, which is my problem.

Ava: You cannot go on living like this anymore.

Olivia: No, I can't.

Ava: Okay.

Olivia: But I'm stuck, and I'm stuck with Jeffrey because he's a part of me.

Remy: I'm going to try to not take this as a bad sign.

Josh: Well, rain's not a bad sign, it's a good sign.

Remy: How do you figure?

Josh: Well, if nothing else, it's over.

Remy: I guess I got to give you that one.

Beth: Cassie, what are we doing here?

Cassie: There's something I want to show you.

Beth: In there?

Cassie: Yes. It's just going to take a second, Beth, come on.

Beth: No, no. You want to show me something, you can bring it out here. I'm tired, I'm staying here.

Cassie: You're tired. Didn't you just tell me in the car you had an energy shake with Lizzie?

Beth: Okay, Cassie, I don't know what you want from me, but whatever it is, let's just talk about it right here.

Cassie: Beth, you will understand when you get inside. Please, will you just do this for me from one mother to another?

Olivia: You're going on a business trip?

Jeffrey: I'm taking our advice and leaving town.

Olivia: I thought you were going to stick with it for the long haul, in case we were good for each other.

Jeffrey: Well, you know, I changed my mind.

Olivia: Why?

Jeffrey: Call it an epiphany, okay? I had a realization that things wouldn't end well. And I'm also sick of being hated and I'm tired of having my mistake rubbed in my face.

Olivia: You said that things could change.

Jeffrey: Well, you know what, even if they could, I would end up hurting you all over again.

Olivia: So you're just leaving?

Jeffrey: Go back to Buzz.

Olivia: You know I can't.

Jeffrey: I can't give you what you need. I can't.

Olivia: Jeffrey, I...

Jeffrey: No, no. Just have a good life. I want you to have a good life. I've got to get out of here.

Remy: Man, this thing is messed up.

Josh: What, you want to quit?

Remy: Oh, is that a trick question?

Josh: No, no, no, not at all. Just, if you're done working on this, you can go work with the guys downstairs, that's fine.

Remy: Well, I can do some more work-- I mean if you're up for it.

Josh: I'm up for it. We'll do this thing.

Remy: Okay.

Josh: Tell you what, though, let me call Cassie first and let her know-- uh-oh. It's probably not a good thing.

Remy: Does it work?

Josh: Yes, amazingly so; it does work.

Remy: Get that phone to talk to these bells.

Josh: Hey, Cassie, it's me. Look, I hope you didn't get caught in the rain because I did. I'm soaking wet. But Remy and I, we're still here at the lighthouse, and we're going to work some more on these bells. In fact, if I wasn't talking to your voicemail, I would tell you exactly what I think of those bells. Listen, I just wanted to make sure that you got home safe and sound and that everything is okay. Um... listen, um... call me back.

Beth: Cassie, there is nothing in here but a bunch of old boxes.

Cassie: I know. I lied. Beth, I don't have anything to show you. I just wanted some time alone with you where it's quiet and we could talk and I could think.

Beth: Think?

Cassie: Yeah. You know, I've had a lot of different ideas in my head, and I'm trying to sort them all out.

Beth: Well, Cassie, there is certainly nobody here to disturb you. Hello!

Cassie: It's very quiet, isn't it? Quiet is good. I like quiet.

Beth: Cassie, do you want to talk about Tammy? Is that it? Is that--

Cassie: Yeah, you guessed it.

Beth: Okay. I know that I've said this before, but I am really, really sorry that Tammy's gone.

Cassie: Then do something about it, Beth. Make Alan pay. Keep that baby away from him.

Beth: What are you talking about?

Cassie: You have to take that baby away from him, Beth, please. It's only right.

Beth: Okay, I'm going to--

Cassie: It's only fair. No, no, no. Please, you have to promise me that you're going to do this.

Beth: No, I am going.

Cassie: Don't go anywhere--

Beth: Let me go!

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