Guiding Light Transcript Wednesday 1/22/03
Provided by Suzanne
Proofread by Tanya
Harley: What is the point in giving me a tracking number if you can't use the number to find my package? No. You know what? Actually, it's Detective Cooper, and I don't want you to put me on hold again because I... Ugh!
Gus: I know, honey. I used non-dairy whipped creamer in that coffee. You don稚...
Harley: No, no, no. It's something else. Do you remember I told you that I was going to look into Alexandra's past to find the connection between her and your dad?
Gus: Yeah. But I told you it was a long shot. What, it wasn't a long shot?
Harley: No, the jury's still out on that. It's just I... I have a P.I. friend of mine in Paris, David Grant...
Gus: Yeah.
Harley: ...And he managed to dig up some of Alexandra's old bank statements.
Gus: You're kidding? How did he manage to do that?
Harley: I don't know, and I didn't ask. The point is he said he was going to mail them to me overnight. That was two days ago, and they still haven't arrived. So now I知 on the phone with this bimbo trying to figure out where my package... Hello? No, no, that's not possible. Because it's not. Yeah, yeah, you're right I知 going to take care of it on my end.
Gus: What?
Harley: She said the package was delivered, that I signed for it. It's not possible, because I think I'd remember if the thing was delivered. I was standing out there talking to your sister, waiting for the guy to come.
Gus: Honey, when my sister was over here yesterday and you kicked her out, maybe she took your package.
Harley: Maybe she took my package? She stole my package! I wouldn't put it past her.
Gus: Oh, well, I just... Well, what... I mean, what would it have gained her to steal the package, I知 just saying.
Harley: Spite. I don't know. And then Alexandra shows up, and I'm wondering why would she come out of the blue, and she's angry at me. Well, obviously Eden got the package, and she opened it up, and when she saw that...
Gus: Saw something in there regarding Alexandra...
Harley: Exactly. She showed it to her.
Gus: Mm.
Harley: Or worse, she gave it to her.
Gus: No, she didn't. More likely she sold it to her. She doesn't give anything away for free.
Harley: It doesn't matter how it happened. The point is that whatever was in that package is long gone, and you and I are back to square one.
Alexandra: No, no, Pierre, I'm not upset. I'm furious. How could your people allow a private investor access to my financial records, hmm? No. No, just don't bother. I just cancelled all my accounts with you. Mr. Baker, you had better keep your part of the deal, because we both have a hell of a lot to loose.
Marina: Okay, there you go.
Ben: Will you stop for two seconds and look at me? Marina, come on. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, all right? How many times do I have to say that I知 sorry?
Marina: One burger with extra sleaze. Oops, I mean cheese.
Ben: Okay. All right, let's be fair here. I think sleazy is way too strong a word for what I did.
Marina: Oh, yeah. What would I know though? I'm just a blue collared nobody. You are the precious little trust fund baby who obviously doesn't mind sticking his best friend with a bad check.
Ben: I did mind. Why do you think I got so defensive? And while we're on that subject, why did you? Look, I heard you. You were right. And okay, and to prove it I知 going to make good on that check to Bill today.
Marina: How? Ben, you keep forgetting the fact that you have no money.
Ben: Yeah, well, that's all about to change. I'm on my way over to see Alexandra Spaulding. I'm going to ask her for a loan.
Marina: Ben, get a job. You know, it's not going to kill you to work. What are you so afraid of?
Marah: I hope the desk sergeant was right. He was, Frank's here.
Tony: Marah, hold on. Hold on. I don't think showing this email to Frank Cooper is such a hot idea.
Marah: What? Why not? This guy made a threat against me and my mom. He should know about it so that he could do something about it.
Tony: But the chances are he won稚. He'll just give you some double talk about how it's not enough information to go on. Or how it... Until a crime's committed his hands are tied, Marah.
Marah: What? Since when is threatening not a crime?
Tony: It's not if the threat is that vague. Look, Marah, I知 telling you I know the law. These cops aren't going to do anything to bust this circle. And the truth is, I don't want them to anymore. This guy crossed the line when he threatened you. He made this personal and that's how I'm going to take care of it: Personally.
Reva: Hey.
Josh: That was a fun day.
Reva: Life seemed full of possibilities.
Josh: Still is, darling. Once we get a beat on this crank caller, get him out of our lives, things will be back to normal again. Listen. Listen. I know Annie said some unsettling things to you yesterday. You got to try to put those things out of your mind.
Reva: I never should have gone back there, because she said exactly what I didn't need to hear. That the person whose making these calls could just be the beginning of something far more dangerous.
Josh: Reva, she's insane. You can't believe her.
Reva: That's why I do believe her, because she is as crazy as whoever this is that's harassing me.
Shayne: So I guess I can take Annie off my suspect list then?
Reva: Well, hello, you little eavesdropper.
Shayne: Well, you know, it's the only way I could get information around here since you guys are so tight lipped about this whole situation.
Josh: Son, it's not like we're trying to keep information from you and your sister. It's just...
Reva: We just don't want you to worry needlessly.
Josh: Right.
Shayne: The only person I知 worried for is that crank caller. He walks up in here he's getting my hockey sticks. (laughter)
Reva: Yeah? Not if I don't get him first with this! Ya! Ha-ha-ha!
Josh: Oh, oh.
Reva: I'm ready for a fight, you varmint! Where are you?
Josh: Okay. Okay, it's finally happened. Your mother has gone completely nuts.
Reva: Oh, maybe you're under here.
Shayne: That happened a couple of years ago, Dad.
Reva: I'm not crazy. I'm just mad. I'm stinkin' mad and I'm ready for a fight. Whoo!
Josh: Wait, wait. No, no, don't go outside. Honey, come back.
Reva: Come here.
Josh: Reva!
Reva: I'm right here. Reva Shayne Lewis in the flesh. Every Oklahoma bred inch of her.
Josh: Sweetheart...
Reva: Come on, and show yourself before I freeze my tootsies off.
Josh: Come on. Let's go.
Reva: Come on! Come on, you low down stinking murdering son of a bun. (Josh laughs) You little merciful whimp!
Josh: All right, all right. Down trigger. Down you go. (laughter) Well, I'll tell you what if the caller I.D. isn't scaring this guy off, that performance most definitely will.
Shayne: I don't think that creep is coming around here anytime soon.
Josh: All right. Easy, easy.
Reva: Get around me.
Josh: Oh, you killed him. He's gone. He's dead. (laughs)
Reva: Wake up.
Shayne: Hello?
Reva: Boy, did I need that.
Josh: I think we all did. And wouldn't it be nice if we could go outside and give this whacko a piece of our minds, huh?
Reva: Yeah, what makes me crazy is that we can't because he's so anonymous.
Josh: Well, he won't be anonymous for long. Between the caller I.D. and the fact that we got taps on all of our phones, this guy... (phone rings) Shayne. Son.
Shayne: It's blocked. It's probably him.
Josh: Just give me the phone.
Reva: No, no, let me do it. I have a better chance of keeping him on the line long enough to trace it.
Josh: Go ahead.
Reva: Hello?
Intruder voice: You think you're safe, but you're not. And neither is your pretty daughter. You're not the only who could hurt people.
Reva: Who is this? Answer me! Who... Long enough?
Josh: Not even close.
Reva: He mentioned Marah.
Josh: What?
Reva: He threatened her.
Josh: He threatened her?
Reva: Yes. It sounded serious.
Josh: Do we know where she is right now? Are you calling her cell phone?
Shayne: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got nothing. It went to voice mail.
Reva: I don't like this.
Josh: I don't like this either. Let's see if we could track her down. Come on.
Marina: What, so it's okay for people like me and Bill Lewis to have normal jobs? But for some reason you're like above it. What are you saying? You're saying you're above us?
Ben: No, that's not what I said at all.
Marina: Yeah, well, that's what it sounds like, Ben.
Ben: Excuse me, are you the same girl I met last summer? The one who looked at me with my trust fund and my sports car and only saw dollar signs in her head?
Marina: That is not all that I saw in you and you know it.
Ben: Hmm. So if I'd been dirt poor, you'd been just as interested in me?
Marina: Okay, no.
Ben: Come on, Marina.
Marina: No. Maybe I would not have been at first until I got to know you. But you know at least was honest about it. Because I'm an up front person. Ben, I don't lie about important things to people that I claim to count as friends. And I sure as heck don't stiff them either. It's just so wrong.
Ben: Look, I told you why I gave Bill that check, all right? It's because I was embarrassed.
Marina: Yeah, and I知 telling you, you don't have to be. You just need to get a job like a normal person and you're not going to have any trouble holding your head above water. But I don't know, if making an honest living and having a little humility his so beneath you, then, you're beneath me.
Gus: All right, the motel said that Eden didn't leave a forwarding address. Now just wait. Listen, listen. Think to yourself. Did David, the P.I. in Paris, did he say what was in the package? What should you be expecting?
Harley: Yes, it was... It was, you know, copies of old checks and her old bank statements. And I guess that's it, because I didn't ask for anything else. Because I didn't know what else to ask for.
Gus: Okay, well, just... Let's just say that we're right. That Eden stole the package and then she sold it to Alexandra. So that means it must have been incriminating inside the package.
Harley: Exactly.
Gus: Right.
Harley: But the point is, what?
Gus: We need to get a whole new angle on this thing.
Harley: Yeah. We need a whole new source.
Gus: Yes. Okay, think. Think.
Harley: Honey, before you gave me this beautiful ring of your mother's, I知 assuming that you kept it with other stuff that belonged to your dad, right?
Gus: Yes, uh-huh. Very, very well preserved.
Harley: Where? In a safety deposit box or something?
Gus: No, somewhere a lot more convenient than that.
Harley: Oh.
Gus: What a mess!
Harley: Wow, you're not kidding convenient.
Gus: Yeah.
Harley: When's the last time you went through all these precious artifacts?
Gus: About a year ago. What are we looking for?
Harley: Ah.
Gus: Yeah.
Harley: I haven't a clue. (sighs) Look.
Gus: Don't go through that.
Harley: Oh. Old Cubs ticket stubs.
Gus: Mm-hmm.
Harley: And more Cubs tickets stubs.
Gus: Cubs ticket stubs.
Harley: And all these Cubs tickets stubs. What are those?
Gus: These are love letters that my father sent my mother when they first got married.
Harley: Love letters?
Gus: Yeah.
Harley: Really?
Gus: Easy. Don't rip them.
Harley: So have you ever read any of these letters?
Gus: Well, I started to... Once, but I felt like you know, they're very personal. I felt... Like I felt like I was invading my folks' privacy, so I, you know, I stopped.
Harley: Via government pouch, you know?
Gus: Yeah. Because he was in the marines, and he was in Nam, and that's when he wrote those letters. And he had... He had just gotten out of the Academy before he went and they called him, and then when he came back he joined the force right away.
Harley: So your dad had already been in the Academy... So maybe he knew Roy Baker when he wrote these letters.
Gus: Baker... Yeah, that's possible. Well, maybe from the Academy.
Harley: The Academy. So maybe we should read them. Do you mind?
Gus: All right, let's do it. Just give me half of them.
Harley: Here. Those are his.
Gus: My father wrote this one. "Dear, Angela, I bought you a box of French chocolates while I was on leave in Saigon. And I hope you get them for Valentine's Day. They're shaped like little hearts to remind you that you're always in my heart. Honey, even when I知 in this God forsaken jungle." I didn't realize that he was such a romantic guy.
Harley: Well, like this is... This must be her reply. Ha-ha. "Perfect timing as always. The chocolates arrived right on Valentine's Day all the way from Saigon and not a scratch on them. (laughs) That's how I know you'll come home to me too, safe and sound. And then we can finally start our married life together and have the family we've always wanted." That's you. (laughs)
Gus: "Dear, Angela, I figured that between my salary and a GI loan, we should be able to swing the down payment on a house when I get home. It'll have to be the size of a shoebox though."
Harley: "Joe, as long as we have a roof over our heads and a room for a nursery, it'll be plenty big enough for me. Gosh, I miss you so much. Time passes so slowly without you here. Every day there's so much I want to share with you and can稚."
Gus: "Dear, Angela, every time I get one of your letters, I feel like it's my birthday and Christmas all rolled into one. I've got every single one of your letters memorized. Dear, Angela, what did the doctor say when you saw him again? Does he want you to have more tests?"
Harley: "Just three more months till you're home. I can't wait to feel your arms around me, Joe. It's been really hard going through all this medical stuff without you."
Gus: "Honey, I ship out tomorrow and with any luck, I'll be home in Chicago by the 15th. Hang in there, baby, and try not to worry. I don't care what the doctor says, I know that we're going to have lots of children of our own... Lots of them. Don't lose hope. I love you. Joe." That's weird, you know. The last three letters, it's like that she, you know, she can't conceive, or they can't have children.
Alexandra: Ben?
Ben: Oh, she doth teach the torches to burn bright. It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night like a jewel in an Ethiop's ear; beauty too rich for use, for earth.
Alexandra: Oh!
Ben: Too dear. (laughter)
Alexandra: Ben, Ben, what art thou doing here? (laughs)
Ben: Well, I came to see you, of course. I missed you, Alexandra. We have not seen nearly enough of each other since you came back to Springfield. I mean certainly not the way we used to when you and my dad...
Alexandra: (sighs) (laughs)
Ben: Well, I was here a lot more when we were kids. We had some great times back then, didn't we?
Alexandra: Yes, we did. We did. I miss those times with you and your father, too. Come on, sit down. Sit down.
Ben: Thank you.
Alexandra: Now, why bring this up now? Do you need something?
Ben: No.
Alexandra: No?
Ben: Am I really that obvious?
Alexandra: Just a little. Ah-huh. Ah-huh. Are you in trouble, Ben?
Ben: No, I... Well, kind of. All right, I致e got a problem. My trust fund has pulled the titanic.
Alexandra: Oh, really? Well, none of us are fairing all that well in the market these days, you know.
Ben: I'm not fairing. Period.
Alexandra: Mm.
Ben: I'm tapped out.
Alexandra: Mm-hmm.
Ben: I was wondering if you could possibly extend me a loan.
Alexandra: Possibly. Yes. And how would you pay me back? I mean, aside from you said dead trust fund, what other sources of income do you have?
Ben: My tutoring at the university.
Alexandra: No, but that's only part-time isn't it, dear? I mean it sounds to me like you may need a full-time job.
Ben: Well, I plan to get one, but until then I don't...
Alexandra: Yes, and until then you'd like me to subsidize you, which I really think is a rotten idea. And know your father would loathe it. But I think I have a better way to help you. I will employ you.
Ben: At Spaulding?
Alexandra: The idea doesn't appeal to you?
Ben: No, no. I just... I don稚...
Alexandra: Don't like the idea of working period? (laughs) Ben, darling, I've got three words for you: Get over it. Come on, I will call our HR people in the morning and I値l set you up with a meeting with them immediately.
Ben: Okay. What exactly am I going to be doing at Spaulding?
Alexandra: Well, we'll discuss it in the morning. Mm-hmm. Ciao, bello.
Ben: Oh, ciao, bello.
Alexandra: Yeah, yeah. Romeo, Romeo.
Ben: (laughs) Thank you.
Alan: And what was that all about?
Alexandra: I just gave young Mr. Reade a job at Spaulding.
Alan: Really? Doing what?
Alexandra: Whatever he ends up being good at, which could be quite a number of things. He's a very bright young man. Ben was telling me he had such fond memories of when he lived here-- back when we were a family.
Alan: We're still a family.
Alexandra: Uh-huh, and family means everything to you, doesn't, Alan?
Alan: You know it does.
Alexandra: Mm-hmm. Then why are stabbing your oldest son in the back and depriving him of what's rightfully his?
Alan: I'm not depriving Phillip of anything, Alexandra.
Alexandra: Really? Well, my darling, father's last will and testament says otherwise.
Reva: Marah? Oh, I'm so glad you're all right.
Marah: Yeah, of course. Why?
Shayne: We tried your phone, but it was off.
Josh: Your mother got another call.
Shayne: And this time it was directed at you.
Tony: Marah, you better show them that. Go ahead.
Marah: I came here to show this to Frank, but Tony sort of changed my mind.
Reva: "All my sympathies on the death of your mother."
Josh: Tony, you didn't think Frank should see this? Why not?
Tony: Because 10-to-one, he won't do anything about it.
Josh: Well, let's find out. Frank?
Frank: Oh, hey guys. What's up?
Josh: You've heard about these phone calls that Reva's been getting, right?
Frank: Yeah, unfortunately I have. Harley filled me in on it. What, did you just get another one?
Reva: Not long ago at the house, but the caller didn't stay on the line long enough for us to trace it.
Josh: Yeah, and Marah just got this lovely message in her e-mail.
Marah: Actually I got it last night. I just didn't want to worry you.
Josh: What can you do about it?
Frank: Unfortunately, not much, Josh.
Josh: Frank, it's a death threat.
Frank: No, it's not. It's just that it's not...
Tony: Oh, it's not specific enough, am I right?
Frank: But it definitely qualifies as harassment. Let's all get to my computer, guys, and put a trace on this for you. And I'll still monitor your phone calls.
Josh: But beyond that, what?
Frank: Josh, the only thing I can do... I'm sorry. I could get a patrol car to make a couple extra swings past your house.
Josh: That's it? That's everything?
Tony: That's what I expected.
Josh: Frank, this is my family we're talking about it and I don't like where it's headed.
Frank: I understand that. And if I get something more concrete, I will let you know.
Tony: This is such garbage.
Marah: Tony?
Tony: No, I mean it. What... What it's going to take for you cops to get it together and catch this guy? Or maybe you want to wait till after somebody gets hurt.
Josh: I'd like to hear the answer to that myself, Frank. What's it going to take to get a little action out of the police, huh? A break-in, a hostage situation, what?
Tony: You know, Josh, why don't you try all of the above? This is so unbelievable. Marah, I'm going to go take care of that thing that we discussed before, and I'll meet you back at your house.
Frank: Actually, what thing are you referring to, because the last I heard you were trying to keep your nose clean.
Tony: Yeah, you heard right. Later.
Reva: Frank, there really isn't anything more you can do?
Frank: Reva, come on, you know me, right? If there's anything I could do, I would love to help you out. But until you actually get a physical threat, now, there's nothing I can do. I'm sorry.
Reva: Okay, gang, well, it looks like we defend ourselves.
Josh: Sounds like it.
Reva: Thanks.
Josh: Thanks anyway, Frank. See you soon.
Ben: Hello.
Marina: Hi, Ben.
Ben: Guess what? Alexandra came through for me.
Marina: Okay, so great. Now you're out of the black till the money she loans you runs out. That is... That's really solid financial planning, Ben.
Ben: Well, Alexandra didn't give me a loan, Marina. She gave me a job!
Marina: Get out.
Ben: Yeah, at Spaulding.
Marina: Get out! That's awesome.
Ben: A real fast-track position with lots of potential. Of course, I知 going to have to wear a suit every day, but, you know...
Marina: You look awesome in a suit. Wait, are you... I mean, is this for real? Are you sure this is what you want?
Ben: What I want, Marina, more than a job or money or anything else, is for you to be proud of me again.
Alan: How did you get a hold of this?
Alexandra: Oh, Alan, a will is a public document. You have one... A copy of it in your own files.
Alan: Why would you unearth something like this now, because...?
Alexandra: Because... Look, I came back here because I thought you were dying. I thought it was apropos to get certain documents in order.
Alan: Ah, that's my sister預lways looking out for her own enrichment.
Alexandra: Yes. Well, we can debate my motives all you want, dear, but it's actually right here in black and white. And this document states that at a certain age your firstborn shall assume significant authority at Spaulding Enterprises. Phillip's birthday came and went without you ever informing him.
Alan: I am well aware of what this document says. And in case you haven't noticed, Phillip has plenty of authority at Spaulding Enterprises.
Alexandra: Well, not all he's entitled to.
Alan: Are you aware that this was written when Phillip was a child? Our father had no idea if he would want to assume such power or would be capable of handling it.
Alexandra: Well, are you saying he's not?
Alan: I am saying that it is not our father's call to make; it is mine.
Alexandra: No. Actually, Alan, it's mine since I am currently CEO.
Alan: You know, Alexandra, I don't get you. Why would you want to open a can of worms like this? Our father played us like puppets when we were children. He manipulated us and controlled us. And now then, after we're finally free of him, you want to concede him power even from the grave.
Alexandra: All right, Alan, just stop rationalizing. You had a legal responsibility to inform Phillip of this clause.
Alan: No, I didn稚. If Phillip wants a copy of that, all he has to do is go down to town hall and get it himself. I have no legal obligation of telling him what is in that document.
Alexandra: Oh, come on, now. You are just splitting hairs!
Alan: Just believe this: Phillip has plenty of authority at Spaulding Enterprises!
Alexandra: Yes, and more than you'd like him to have at home.
Alan: Leave it alone!
Alexandra: I'm not sure I can do that, Alan.
Alan: You can and you will, because if Phillip claims what is rightfully his, he will return the favor by putting us both out to pasture.
Harley: Honey, these letters don't say that your parents couldn't have kids. They just say that the doctor was concerned there was a problem, see? And, obviously, there wasn't.
Gus: I guess you're right.
Harley: There's no guessing. You and Eden are here, aren't you? (laughter) That is so sweet. What a romantic guy, the things that he writes to her.
Gus: That's what I'm saying. Not only was he a romantic guy, but... Look, he went off to war and he came back with all these medals. Then he comes back to work and he gets all these medals. He was a good man, he was a decent man, he was an excellent cop. That's what I'm saying. There's no way that he was taking money from the Santos's, or anybody else for that matter. There's just no way.
Harley: Okay. But there is a connection there, especially with Federico. Maybe Alexandra was right. Maybe the deal they had wasn't about money; maybe it was about-- I don't know-- something else.
Gus: But what? What?
Harley: I don't know. Well, I say we... we keep looking.
Gus: (sighs) Hmm.
Harley: A-ha! Look who was being a big alarmist. "Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Augustino joyfully announce the arrival of their son, Nicholas." I could never call you Nicholas. "Seven pounds, eight ounces." Cutie pie. What?
Gus: Honey, this... This announcement is a lie.
Frank: You know, Pop, I知 so damn frustrated. I really want to help out Josh and Reva, but I don't know what I can do.
Buzz: Frank...
Marina: (clears throat) Dad, Grandpa, Ben has something that he would like to tell you.
Frank: Really? Ben, as in the guy that you just gave the major heave-ho to?
Marina: Come on, tell them.
Ben: I got a job. I start tomorrow.
Buzz: You got a job?
Ben: Yeah.
Buzz: Really?
Ben: Yeah.
Buzz: Doing what?
Frank: Well, hold on. Let me guess here. Uh, ski lessons to debutantes?
Ben: No. No, something far more mundane. Just a normal, boring job at Spaulding.
Marina: Yeah, courtesy of Alexandra Spaulding, who is very impressed with him.
Frank: A job at Spaulding, really? All right, well, that's a start.
Buzz: Alexandra Spaulding actually hired you?
Ben: Well, you can call her if you don't believe me.
Buzz: She's a pretty tough cookie, you know. I wouldn't count on any special treatment from her.
Ben: Well, I would never, I知 just really grateful for the opportunity, and I intend to make the most of it.
Buzz: Well, that's a good attitude, Ben.
Frank: Yeah. Hey, it's one thing to get a job and another to keep it.
Marina: Could he possibly be more supportive?
Buzz: After what you put him through? No. Congratulations, young man. Good luck.
Ben: Thanks. Well, that went well.
Marina: Yeah, it did go well, because you got a job. I am so proud of you.
Ben: Yeah? Show me.
Alexandra: Alan, you're good. You're very good用ulling out the brotherly loyalty card right now. "We're in this together, kid. You know, you keep your mouth shut or Phillip will put us both out to pasture."
Alan: If it's not the truth, Alexandra, why do you look so worried?
Alexandra: The truth is you didn't withhold this out of any concern for the company or for me; you did it out of fear, pure and simple.
Alan (laughing): Fear?
Alexandra: Yes, your jealously, your competitiveness, and whatever this thing is you have with Phillip that never allows you to let your guard down completely around him. Now, now, you have the right to even suspect his loyalty again, because he what? Possibly run off with your wife?
Alan: He's done no such thing.
Alexandra: Alan! This even brings up another question. The stakes are even higher, aren't they now, dear? With Phillip having more authority at Spaulding, that makes him even more attractive to Olivia, which will make it even harder for you to gain her back!
Alan: No.
Alexandra: Oh, no, you certainly do not want this piece of paper out in the open.
Alan: You're right about one thing: I'm very competitive-- but not only with Phillip; I知 competitive with everything. Now, if Phillip wants more power at Spaulding, let him go out and grab it the same way you did.
Alexandra: Mm, mm, mm. Now it's the mutual loyalty, mutual respect card again. (laughs)
Alan: No, that's the mutual mind-your-own-business card. Why do you insist on borrowing trouble? Let it be, Alexandra.
Alexandra: Alan, it just may not be my call to make.
Alan: You said that before. I have no idea of what you're talking about.
Alexandra: Well, just this. You know that the truth has a very strange way of always coming out in the ways you... you least expect it, okay? So I知 just saying that when the proverbial horse manure hits the fan, don't say I didn't warn you.
Gus: All right, where is it? Where is it? Right. All right, look at this.
Harley: What? What?
Gus: Right, okay, here's three letters, right, that my father sent-- the last three letters that he sent to my mother talking about not being able to conceive when he was away. Look at the date on that. Now, here's my birth announcement. Look at the date on this. Now tell me what the difference... Just tell me the time apart.
Harley: Six months.
Gus: Six months, right. Six months. So the last time I checked, you know, it takes nine months to have a baby, right?
Harley: Maybe you were premature.
Gus: Three months premature? Six months? Come on, six months I'm seven pounds, eight ounces. What am I? A freak?
Harley: Honey, calm down.
Gus: No, I'm talking about... Six months... They're talking about not being able to conceive. Six months later, I pop out and I知 a healthy, bouncing baby boy. I don't think so. That's not possible.
Harley: Calm down.
Gus: No, it's not possible.
Harley: There's any number of explanations.
Gus: No, maybe there's two, okay? Either it's a miracle, like a miracle of God, or who... You know, I've been calling mom and dad-- whoever they are-- they're not my parents.
Alexandra: Hmm. Lies, lies all in vain. I'd like to so much just... No.
Gus: I don't understand. I don't understand. Can you come up with one thing that makes better sense, one thing that can explain it?
Harley: The birth announcement's wrong, okay? It was a printing error and your parents kept it because they thought it was funny.
Gus: What, it's a typo? Honey, come on, you can do better than that. That's a stretch for you.
Harley: No. Maybe, you know, look, seven pounds, eight ounces-- they printed that incorrectly, and you were actually premature. It's possible.
Gus: No. You know what's more likely, what's more likely is that my father was off in Vietnam getting shot up and my mother was just shacking up with some guy. That's what's more possible.
Harley: Gus...
Gus: Whatever. She was lonely. She missed him. One night, one guy...
Harley: No, I don't... I think that is the most unlikely explanation, because when I read these, all I hear is how much they loved each other.
Gus: No, it's the only thing that makes sense. I can't believe this. I'm listening to all this stuff about my father not being the man that I thought he was, and now this. Is this what Alexandra was hinting at the other night? But no... How could she... You think she knew my folks? I mean, did she live in Chicago? Did she know my folks? Did she...
Harley: Okay, listen, listen. Obviously there's a connection there.
Gus: But what? What? You know, Eden and Carmen talking about my father is not the man that I think he is. I mean, I prepared myself for the worst, but... If Joe August is not my father, then, baby, who am I?
Josh: All right, here's the deal. The alarm system stays on full time from now on. The outdoor lights at night stay on full time. Nobody answers the door unless you're expecting somebody, and only then after they identify themselves.
Reva: And then what? We sic the mad dogs on them?
Josh: You going to make fun of me now?
Reva: No, I just... I don't want this to get out of hand.
Josh: It's already out of hand.
Reva: You're right. Go ahead.
Josh: Son, you said you saw some gadgets on the internet that might help us out?
Shayne: Yeah, I saw this... It's a tracking device. You can put it on any car, and if someone starts tampering with the electrical systems, trying to get in it or...
Reva: One of our pictures is missing.
Josh: What?
Reva: The silver picture, the one that we were looking at just this morning, it's gone.
Josh: Wait, wait. Maybe you moved it when you were dusting.
Reva: No, no, no. I know I put it right there. Somebody's been in our house.