Guiding Light Transcript Friday 11/1/02

Provided by Suzanne
Proofread by Tanya

Alan: Good evening, Alexandra. I trust that your enforced stay on Mystic Island has been pure misery.

Alexandra: On the contrary, Alan. It's been very refreshing to have some time away from the company, so thanks for making it happen.

Alan: Are you telling me you're feeling overworked already, Alexandra? Now, that's not good.

Alexandra: No, Alan, running Spaulding was great fun. It was planning a wedding that took it out of me. By the way, how is the blushing bride? And how come you're not with her instead of digging your claws into me?

Alan: My claws are not the claws that you should be worried about, Alexandra. I forgot to tell you that half of Mystic Island is a wild animal preserve. That's right, Alexandra. And from time to time, some of the wild animals get loose. Now, they never found the ranger that disappeared from there last year.

Alexandra: He probably ran off with his father's fiancée.

Alan: The ranger was a she. Now, you're not afraid of things that go bump in the night, are you? Ah, I remember when we were children, when the sound of squirrels on the roof used to set you screaming. Well, Alexandra, there are lots of squirrels out there. There are rats, snakes, bobcats.

Alexandra: If you really think these cheap scare tactics are going to make me sign that piece of paper, you are wrong.

Alan: Well, maybe not. But if the new CEO of Spaulding Enterprises is missing for a week, a month, a year, the board will be forced to find someone to take her place.

Alexandra: Are you threatening me, Alan?

Alan: I don't make threats, Alexandra. I just make promises. Enjoy communing with nature.

Alexandra: You son of a... You're being ridiculous

Olivia: You look like the cat who just swallowed the canary.

Alan: Yes, a very big, self- important canary.

Olivia: Well, I just hope the canary doesn't give you indigestion.

Alan: Oh, no, not at all. As a matter of fact, I gave this canary indigestion.

Phillip: Hello.

Rick: Hello.

Phillip: Something's missing.

Rick: No costume, no Halloween party for me tonight.

Phillip: No wife. Where's Mel? Isn't that why we're here? I thought we were celebrating her reinstatement at Cedars.

Rick: We are. In fact, that's where she is. She's at the hospital filling out a bunch of reinstatement papers, and she told me to tell you to let us party all by ourselves.

Phillip: Did she?

Rick: Yes.

Phillip: She is way too good for you.

Rick: I know. I get reminded about that on a daily basis from every family member in my house. And now... And now my best friend.

Phillip: Here's to Dr. Boudreau-Bauer.

Rick: Cheers.

Phillip: She's something, man. I'll tell you. If I ever end up at Cedars again, she's the Bauer I want taking care of me.

Rick: Don't even think about it, buddy. You know, in reflection, I probably should have invited your father and your lovely, sexy new stepmother.

Phillip: Here we go. Here we go.

Rick: (Laughs)

Phillip: Go ahead, ask.

Rick: Ask what? I'm just sitting here minding my own business.

Phillip: Go ahead. Go ahead, ask me how things are going at the house now that Alan and Olivia are married.

Rick: How are things going at the house?

Phillip: They're going fine. They're going fine. Actually, they're fine. Olivia and I had a talk on the beach last night.

Rick: You did? Was it as nice a talk as you guys had at the elevator before the wedding?

(Laughter)

Phillip: Okay, all right, go ahead. Have your fun.

Rick: I saw the look on both your faces when you guys came off the elevator.

Phillip: Oh, you know what? If you saw anything other than relief, you have an incredibly overactive imagination.

Rick: Guilt.

Phillip: No.

Rick: Guilt.

Phillip: Guilt about what?

Rick: Shh. Now, why don't you just tell Uncle Rick what happened?

Phillip: Nothing happened, Rick. Nothing happened.

Rick: Look at me. Come on, come on, come on.

Phillip: All right, I kissed her.

Rick: You kissed her?

Phillip: Would you please? One kiss, all right? It was one stupid little kiss, that's all. What? What?

Rick: Get out.

Phillip: What?

Rick: Get out of that house. Get away from your father, and more importantly, get away from Olivia.

Michelle: Oh, oh...

Bill: One question.

Michelle: Shoot.

Bill: Are you all right?

Phillip: I am not going to move out of my home and away from my family because of one kiss.

Rick: No, no, no. You pack your bags, you get your kids, and you get out.

Phillip: No.

Rick: I've got the garage apartment. You can rent it.

Phillip: Please.

Rick: Free. I'll give it to you free.

Phillip: I don't care. I am not moving out because of a kiss. All right, I told you, Olivia and I talked, everything is fine.

Rick: You talked about what? What, agreeing to keep your lips and hands off each other?

Phillip: Essentially, yes.

Rick: Uh-huh, okay. So no more sexual tension, no more longing looks across the room?

Phillip: You know what, pal? You're in the wrong business. You ought to be writing romance novels. Why don't you talk to Blake? Maybe she could hook you up.

Rick: I know you. I know you. I know you. You know, a kiss is just not a kiss. Anybody you kiss, you end up getting married to.

Phillip: Oh, Rick, please. You know what? Trust me, if that's possible at this point. Everything will be fine. I don't want to talk about this anymore. We ought to talk about something else.

Rick: That's fine, we don't have to talk about this.

Phillip: Hey, how was Jude's first Halloween?

Rick: It was great. I took five rolls of film and a video.

Phillip: Great.

Rick: I'm assuming you took your kids out?

Phillip: Mm-hmm.

Rick: Good.

Phillip: It was great. We had a wonderful time.

Rick: What's going on with the Zach situation?

Phillip: (Laughs)

Rick: I don't mean to bring you down.

Phillip: Actually, Harley and I are going to work it out.

Rick: So you might... Zach might be moving back?

Phillip: Yeah.

Rick: Good. That's great. Uh-oh.

Phillip: What?

Rick: She's here. Do you want to make the great escape?

Phillip: There's nowhere to hide. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. See, Beth and I actually have to be okay with each other for Lizzie and James' sake.

Rick: Are you okay enough to go over there and have a cocktail with her?

Phillip: Sure.

Rick: Okay.

Phillip: Why not?

Rick: Let's go. Hello again.

Phillip: Hi, Beth.

Beth: Hi.

Rick: Hi.

Beth: Phillip.

Phillip: You look nice.

Beth: Thank you. How was trick or treating?

Phillip: It was good. It was good. Oh, don't worry, I took some pictures.

Rick: Have you been waiting at the hotel all this time?

Beth: Uh, no. No, not the whole time.

Rick: Oh, so then he finally showed up?

Phillip: Who showed up?

Beth: Bill Lewis. And no, no, he hasn't shown up yet.

Phillip: Little Bill running a little late. He had to finish his paper route. (Laughs) I'm sorry. I understand you're going to be picking James up from preschool tomorrow?

Beth: Yeah. Yeah, I want to take him clothes shopping.

Phillip: Lizzie has informed me that she needs a whole new wardrobe.

Beth: Well, I invited her to come, Phillip. She's not returning my phone calls.

Rick: She's probably just busy yacking on the phone with her friends, that's all. Waiter!

Phillip: I guess Bill understands that your kids come first, right?

Beth: I guess he does, yeah. Why do you even ask?

Phillip: I don't know. I just thought maybe he didn't get that impression, you know, the way you took off the way you did.

Beth: And you rolling around with Olivia...

Phillip: Hey, hey, whoa, whoa.

Beth: ...Are we going to revisit that?

Phillip: It's okay, okay. Whoa, didn't mean to touch a nerve, Beth. As long as you're happy.

Bill: Apple?

Michelle: I think I'm supposed to be offering that to you.

Bill: So, you admit it? You're the one who tempted me.

Michelle: Oh, in your dreams, Lewis.

Bill: You know, at least tell me, has my technique improved or...

Michelle: Well, I don't know. I don't know. I think I kind of liked the one when we were kids better. That kiss was better.

Bill: But come on, I've had so much practice ever since.

Michelle: How much practice?

Bill: You first.

Michelle: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Bill: Come on, what are you, afraid to share?

Michelle: I asked you first.

Bill: Oh, chicken. (Clucks like a chicken)

Michelle: No, no. Stop it, stop it.

Bill: Hey, come on, if you can't tell me, who can you tell?

Michelle: Single digits, okay?

Bill: Single digits, including me?

Michelle: How many girls have you kissed, not including me.

Bill: A lot more than that.

Michelle: A lot more?

Bill: Not unlikely, so... But let's get back to more important things.

Michelle: Well, what could be more important than the number of girls you kissed?

Bill: Like why you didn't think my kiss was any good.

Michelle: Aw, look, as long as Beth's happy, what are you worried about?

Bill: Well, I would like a chance to change your subjective mind.

Michelle: You want a do-over, don't you?

Bill: Absolutely I want a do- over. What are you afraid of?

Michelle: I don't know. It's just your powers of seduction just terrify me. All right, go ahead. Give it your best shot. (Makes kissing sounds)

Bill: Now you look like a fish.

Michelle: (Laughs) Aw, see, now look who's scared.

Bill: Hmm.

Michelle: (Laughs)

Alexandra: Are you enjoying this, Alan? Watching me suffer, hoping I'm going to have a nervous breakdown? Well, darling, I've got news for you. I'm not. You should have admitted defeat and you should have said that you knew that I was there to help the family, but instead, you've just declared war on me. Big mistake. (Rustling noises outside the cabin) Who's there?

Alan: A toast.

Olivia: To us? Or the reason why you're looking so smug?

Alan: Both. To our future happiness-- and to my sister's future unhappiness.

Olivia: Oh, I'll drink to that. (Glasses clink) So you know something I don't? Come on, Alan, I want details.

Alan: Soon. When I'm reelected CEO and you and I are bringing Spaulding Enterprises back to its former glory.

Olivia: And where is Alexandra in all this?

Alan: The deepest pit of hell.

Olivia: Oh, I love it when you talk dirty.

Alan: Really? Well, why don't we just go upstairs and I will talk dirty some more.

Olivia: Yeah, that's not going to happen.

Alexandra: Who's there? I've got a gun and I'm warning you, and I won't hesitate to use it.

Edmund: It's Edmund Winslow.

Alexandra: What the hell are you doing here?

Edmund: Are you going to kill me or redecorate me?

Alexandra: You didn't answer my question.

Edmund: Well, I'm here for you, of course.

Alexandra: Why?

Edmund: My dear, I've come to rescue you.

Alexandra: Oh, so sorry, prince charming. Sleeping beauty's not home. (Door slams)

Alan: Olivia, I can understand you playing the chastity card when we were engaged, but now that we're on our honeymoon, I...

Olivia: I want to make love with you. I do. I want to make love with you. It's just that you've had two heart attacks; you almost died.

Alan: But I didn't die. I am fine.

Olivia: Yeah, says you.

Alan: Yes. Isn't my word good enough?

Olivia: Absolutely-- if your doctor backs it up.

Alan: Well, he will back it up. I tell you that I am in perfectly good health. I promise you.

Olivia: Well, good, because I asked Dr. Kirby to drop by and tell me in person.

Alan: Excellent. All he will tell you is that he put me through some very intense tests and that the only thing that stops my heart is when you walk into the room.

Olivia: As long as it doesn't stop when we're making love, Alan.

Alan: It won't, because your love and devotion to me has made my recovery one of the fastest in human history. (Knocks on door)

Dr. Kirby: I'm sorry, your butler said I could come in.

Alan: Come in, doctor. Doctor, can I get you some champagne?

Dr. Kirby: No, no thanks. I can't stay long.

Olivia: It's good news, isn't it?

Alan: Well, why wouldn't it be good news? Doctor, will you please tell my new bride that I am in perfectly good health so that we can get on with our honeymoon.

Dr. Kirby: I'm... I'm sorry, Alan, but unfortunately, it is much too soon to be thinking about resuming sexual activity.

Alan: Arthur, you cannot be serious. We just had a series of tests...

Dr. Kirby: And they showed that your heart is not yet entirely healed.

Alan: That's ridiculous!

Olivia: Don't. Shh. Don't do that. Shh. We can wait as long as it takes.

Alan: Olivia, would you mind leaving the doctor and me alone? Just... Just, darling, just for a few minutes, I promise you. All right, what the hell is going on?

Dr. Kirby: Alan, your heart...

Alan: We both know that my heart is just fine. Now why, all of a sudden, am I not able to make love to my wife?

Dr. Kirby: I'm sorry, Alan.

Alan: Alexandra, huh?

Dr. Kirby: Your sister came to my office. She knew I helped you fake those heart attacks.

Alan: And she is now threatening to revoke your license, is that it?

Dr. Kirby: And to bring me up on charges of criminal misconduct. I'm sorry.

Alan: All right, you just stay right here. Olivia.

Olivia: Alan, it's all right.

Alan: The doctor is just being a little overly cautious, that's all, and I'm sure a second opinion will prove him wrong.

Olivia: Sure, if you pay the second opinion enough.

Alan: I won't have to pay for anything because I am fully recovered, Olivia.

Olivia: I'm sorry. I'm going with what Dr. Kirby says. He knows you best.

Alan: He doesn't know me as well as he thinks he knows me.

Olivia: What are you going to do, punish the doctor because he's worried about you? There's more to our marriage than just sex. I'm in this for the long haul, for better or for worse, remember?

Alan: I was just hoping the "worse" part didn't happen so soon, that's all.

Olivia: This isn't the worst part. The worst part is if I lost you because you didn't take care of yourself. I can wait. We're not going to make love until Dr. Kirby says it's okay. I'm going to go tell the housekeeper to put my things back in my room, only because there's no sense in letting temptation get in the way of your health.

Edmund: Alexandra!

Alexandra: Rescue someone else, Edmund. I'm watching the stock market collapse.

Edmund: Well, then I'm sure you can watch the Spaulding stock collapse along with it, now that rumor of your absence has gotten around. Oh, please. At least open the door and let me explain why I'm here.

Alexandra: If I don't, are you going to stand there all night?

Edmund: Well, I won't have much of a choice, really. You see, all the other cottages are locked up tight as drums.

Alexandra: So, how did you know I was here?

Edmund: Well, when you disappeared from a party you carefully planned and for which you had handsomely paid, I followed your brother around and heard he had hatched a plot and talked about you and this island.

Alexandra: Oh. So, what took you so long?

Edmund: Well, ferry service has been suspended for the winter, so I had to find someone who would very kindly overcharge me for the rental of a boat, which is right now down at the beach waiting to whisk you away to wherever you'd like.

Alexandra: Ah. So I suppose you are going to demand my eternal gratitude?

Edmund: Well, that would be nice, but if I can't have that, I'll just settle for the old scandalously-intimate friendship.

Alexandra: (Laughs)

Michelle: You know, Danny and I separated weeks ago, and if I let the first man I see lay his lips on me. How desperate is that, huh?

Bill: That was a desperation kiss? Gee, I'm flattered.

Michelle: I mean, come on, how many girls have you kissed where it's meant nothing, right?

Bill: I don't know, Michelle. A kiss always means something.

Michelle: No, not this time.

Bill: Ouch. Are you telling me that that kiss turned you off guys for good? Because I thought that little rendezvous on the beach with Ben was responsible for that?

Michelle: Oh, you are so jealous. You're just going to keep bringing that up over and over again, aren't you?

Bill: Yes. Yes, I am.

Michelle: I was hoping that you would be a little bit more helpful.

Bill: You mean, you want me to kiss you again?

Michelle: (Laughs) No, I was hoping maybe you'd give me some dating lessons.

Bill: Wait a minute, you're thinking about getting back into the dangerous dating pool?

Michelle: What, don't you think I'm ready?

Bill: Well, I've got to admit, I hate to brag, but any woman that kisses me definitely wants more. That's true.

Michelle: That's only because I taught you how to do it right.

Bill: Yes, and you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to return the favor. Under my tutelage, you will be a one-woman dating machine with a money-back guarantee.

Michelle: All right, not so fast Poncho, there. I've got to get divorced first, right?

Bill: See, I knew you'd find an excuse.

Michelle: It's not an excuse. How appealing am I right now? With my soon to be ex-husband, the mobster, I've got a little boy still in diapers, I have a very overprotective father and brother, for that matter. I mean, I think I'm a guy's worst nightmare right now.

Bill: See, that's the problem right there. You don't want most guys. What you want is one special guy.

Michelle: I had one.

Bill: All right, well tell me, what would you be looking for?

Michelle: (Sighs) Oh, I don't know, that's not easy.

Bill: Come on. Come over here. Sit down and talk to me, will you? No pain, no gain. Let's go.

Michelle: Um, well, let's see. Sense of humor is important. You know, someone that can make me laugh, I think that's a plus.

Bill: Okay.

Michelle: But he doesn't have to be funny all the time. You know, he could be... Have some serious moments with me, as long as he's not Mr. Doom-and-Gloom.

Bill: Hmm-mm.

Michelle: Of course, if he liked his family that would be nice, and liked his job, as long as it wasn't his life. But I guess the most important thing, I just want to be with someone that I feel comfortable with, you know? Someone who I can be myself around and he can be his self with me.

Bill: You know who you just described, don't ya?

Michelle: Yeah. Mr. So-perfect-he-doesn't-exist.

Bill: He exists all right.

Michelle: (Laughs) You think I described you?

Bill: Of course you did. Didn't you?

Michelle: (Laughs) Oh, God!

Bill: What would be so funny about that?

Michelle: You have such an ego.

Bill: Admit it, babe. You want me.

Michelle: Oh, that's right, babe. But you're already taken!

Bill: Oh, I forgot. I'm supposed to meet Beth.

Phillip: Listen, Beth, if Bill makes you happy, I'm not going to stand in the way of that.

Beth: Well, I appreciate that, Phillip.

Phillip: I mean it. I mean, I did think that he was way too young for you at first. And not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that sometimes that youth can, you know, lead to immaturity, sowing oats, you know? Not being willing to settle down and commit yourself to a woman, no matter how beautiful she is, that's got two kids. But you know, hey, obviously that's not the case here. Gosh, he just must think an awful lot of you.

Beth: Uh, will you excuse me? I have to make a phone call.

Phillip: Sure.

Rick: Hey. You coming back?

Beth: Uh, maybe. Maybe. Hey, it's me.

Bill: Hey, you just read my mind. I was about to head on over there.

Beth: That's great.

Bill: Um, listen, just give me a few minutes because Robbie fell asleep and I'm just going to help Michelle carry him out to the car.

Beth: I'll tell you what? Why don't you send Michelle and Robbie on their way and I'll come to you.

Bill: But your fundraiser?

Beth: Forget it. I'll see you soon.

Bill: All right. Um, that was Beth. She's going to come on over.

Michelle: Oh, that's perfect. You can practice that kissing technique I taught you tonight. I'll go get Robbie.

Bill: Yeah.

(Doorbell rings)

Bill: Well, trick or treat.

Beth: Mm. Tastes like candy corn, chocolate, and caramel.

Bill: That's right. Guilty as charged. And there's plenty more. Come on in and tell me about that shindig over at the Beacon.

Beth: Yeah, it was great. It was great, raised a ton of money.

Bill: Well, that's good.

Beth: And I sat next to this woman who was about 100 years old and kept peering at me through her lorgnette. I mean, who uses a lorgnette these days?

Bill: Right. Who uses one of those? What the heck is a lorgnette?

Beth: Opera glasses.

Bill: Oh, yeah. That's right.

Beth: Well, anyhow, the thing is that lorgnette woman kept asking me why the seat next to mine was empty. She thought that Phillip had bailed on me and it was easier to say nothing than to tell her the truth.

Bill: I'm sorry. You know what? The party just got out of control, more and more kids kept coming and then we ran out of candy...

Beth: You were busy.

Bill: It was unbelievable.

Beth: And Michelle, she stayed to clean up?

Bill: Yeah, yeah. Actually, Robbie, he wanted to stay, see the haunted house. And then he ended up falling asleep. So, yeah. If you didn't have the fundraiser, you could have brought James.

Beth: No, no. James had a party to go to, so the nanny took him, along with Zach.

Bill: Oh.

Beth: So, uh, did Michelle and Robbie have a good time?

Bill: I think Robbie did, although he slept through most of it, but Michelle was... She was pretty down.

Beth: About?

Bill: You know, Danny, the divorce, all that.

Beth: And you, what, cheered her up?

Bill: (Laughs nervously) Why are we wasting all of this time talking about Michelle when there are other things we could be doing, hmm? What is going on?

Beth: Nothing. Nothing. No, that's... That's not true. I'm confused about something, so I'm about to ask you what I guess is a dangerous question: Who am I to you?

Bill: (Laughs) I... I... Wait a minute. Did, like, some new Cosmo come out and there's a test in it?

Beth: Bill, I don't want to joke. I believed everything that you said to me.

Bill: Well, that's good because I meant every word of it.

Beth: I'm not sure that that's true.

Bill: What is that supposed to mean?

Beth: I just need to know, who am I to you? Am I some girl you picked up in a bar and had sex with?

Bill: Well, no, what are you talking about? That was Lorelei.

Beth: Exactly. And Lorelei walked out on you. But I walked out on Phillip and my two kids for you.

Bill: For me? But you said you were going to leave Phillip anyway. I had no idea that I was the major reason why you left him.

Alexandra: So, how much is your friendship going to cost me?

Edmund: It's not about money.

Alexandra: (Laughs) Oh, please. Edmund, this rescue attempt has got to have cost you in the pocket. I mean, greasing palms, hiring boats. Don't tell me that Carmen Santos is approving of you doing all this, too.

Edmund: Well... Is it so hard to believe that I actually might like you?

Alexandra: No, it's not hard to believe. It's impossible to believe. Tell me something, would you be doing all of this if I wasn't a Spaulding?

Edmund: Well, if you were a poor and ugly Spaulding, you'd never see me again. But your power is quite an aphrodisiac. I won't deny that and I'm not going to apologize for it.

Alexandra: Really? (Laughs) Well, that's a very good line.

Edmund: It's not a line.

Alexandra: Oh, no?

Edmund: All right, trust me or not, but do you want to get off this island?

Alexandra: Oh, what do you think, Edmund?

Edmund: Then let me help you. And I assume you want revenge against your brother for stashing you away here?

Alexandra: Yes, I certainly do.

Alan: I don't care what Alexandra told you, I want you to tell my wife that I am perfectly fine.

Dr. Kirby: And if she studies your fake charts, hmm? Or the monitors with the false readings?

Alan: But what if they disappear, doctor? And the nurse who lies for us finds that she has a beautiful new home in Miami Beach?

Dr. Kirby: And if your sister gets her a better one? A mansion in France, say?

Alan: Not if we get to the nurse before Alexandra.

Dr. Kirby: Oh, God!

Alan: Wait a minute. I'm not so sure this is about your career. Why don't you just tell me how much Alexandra paid you to lie about my condition?

Lizzie: Grandpa?

Alan: Elizabeth. Come in, come in. I will talk to you later about this.

Lizzie: What did Dr. Kirby lie about?

Alan: Oh, he didn't lie.

Lizzie: But I heard you. Grandpa, did you... Did you fake your heart attack? Are you just going to lie to me like everybody else? Like my mom about her boyfriend, and my dad when he's pretending that he's not really mad at her when he is?

Alan: Elizabeth, sit down. We need to talk. Do you like Olivia?

Lizzie: I guess so. She's been really nice to me lately.

Alan: I'm not going to lie to you. I'm going to tell you the truth. Yes, I did fake my heart attack.

Rick: Hey.

Michelle: Didn't anyone ever tell you that it's dangerous to drink tonic water alone.

Rick: Well, it's good I'm not alone. So what brings you here?

Michelle: I dropped Robbie off at home and dad said you were here, so I thought you might need a ride.

Rick: Oh, I appreciate that. So how was Robbie's Halloween?

Michelle: It was good. He enjoyed it.

Rick: Good.

Michelle: It was tough getting him out of that turtle costume, though. You should have come with us to Ben and Bill's.

Rick: Bill was there?

Michelle: It's his house, too.

Rick: Well, I know that. It was just... He was supposed to meet Beth here.

Michelle: I know. He totally forgot. He felt really bad about it.

Rick: Did he talk about Beth at all with you?

Michelle: Not really. Why, did she talk about Bill?

Rick: No, not really. Man, we are terrible in the gossip department.

Michelle: Totally clueless. But it's obvious that they like each other. I mean, that's a good thing, don't you think?

Rick: Well, you'd think so, but, you know, look at Beth and Phillip. I mean, they adore each other and look what happened to them.

Michelle: And you and Abby?

Rick: Thanks for bringing that up because I was starting to feel... But getting back to you and Bill, I always thought that you guys would just ride off into the sunset together.

Michelle: (Scoffs) Oh, yeah right.

Rick: No, I'm serious, Michelle. You guys always were really comfortable with each other. It was like you could read each other's thoughts.

Michelle: Well, that's what happens when you grow up in the same sandbox. But usually you become best friends, not boyfriend and girlfriend. It's actually a little weird to think about it.

Rick: Have you?

Michelle: Have I what?

Rick: You know, thought about, you know, hooking up with Bill.

Michelle: Sure. When I was 12. But not because I wanted him. Probably because I wanted the piece of pizza he was eating.

Beth: Well... (Laughs uncomfortably) ...I didn't mean it like that.

Bill: Well, it sure sounded like you meant it like that.

Beth: You are a part of the reason that I left Phillip and why shouldn't that be? You were the one that kept telling me how attracted you were to me; how great we were together.

Bill: Listen, will you listen to me? I meant every word of it and I, for not one minute, regret that I am with you, Beth. Not at all. But I've got to be honest with you, I'm not so thrilled about all this pressure that you're putting on me right now.

Beth: Well, that's not what I'm trying to do.

Bill: Well, help me understand one thing. We're having a good time, right?

Beth: (Laughs nervously) Yes.

Bill: Right? And we still want to see each other, don't we?

Beth: Yes.

Bill: But I thought that you...

Beth: No promises about the future.

Bill: Okay, now call me crazy, but isn't that what you wanted?

Beth: It was, yes.

Bill: It was. So that's past tense. Now, what are you doing to me? Are you changing the rules on me?

Beth: Well, you know, I wasn't aware that the rules were written in stone. And you said that this wasn't about Lorelei, that you were falling for me.

Bill: And I did. I am. I was.

Beth: But you just want it to be fun, exciting, and simple.

Bill: Isn't that enough?

Alexandra: I'll just get my bag and I'm ready to go.

Edmund: Right. Take your time. Alan, I'm on the island. Alan, I'm on the island. Your sister is very eager to be rescued. She doesn't trust me yet, but I think she will in time. And I do believe that when she does, this business arrangement you and I have made will prove very profitable for both of us.

Alexandra: Who are you talking to?

Edmund: Oh, the coast guard. I wanted to find out if our sail back to Springfield will be smooth.

Alexandra: Oh, will it?

Edmund: Well, unfortunately no. You see, the tide has gone out and where I put my boat they told me I'm more likely than not going to hit a rock, so I'm afraid we're stuck here for the night. I'm sorry.

Alexandra: Ah. Well, I'm not. My bed's extremely comfortable. Unfortunately, that's more than I can say for that chair. You'll have to let me know in the morning. Good-night, sweet prince.

Lizzie: Why did you pretend to be sick?

Alan: I had no choice.

Lizzie: That doesn't make any sense.

Alan: Elizabeth, sometimes it's hard for people to admit they love someone and they need to be reminded and shoved, if you will.

Lizzie: Who were you trying to shove? Olivia?

Alan: She's been very hurt, and she's afraid of love.

Lizzie: So by pretending you were sick, you were making her less afraid? That's weird, Grandpa.

Alan: I know it sounds weird. I understand that. But you see, it worked. She realized that she did love me.

Lizzie: But you lied to her.

Alan: I'm sure that Olivia will be the first person to admit that it's all right to lie if it's for a good reason.

Lizzie: She already did.

Alan: Well, then, you understand now why I lied.

Phillip: Hi.

Olivia: Hi. I was just about to join Alan in his study for a nightcap. Would you like to join us?

Phillip: Um, sure. If you don't mind.

Olivia: No, why would I mind?

Phillip: Well, it's technically your honeymoon.

Olivia: Well, technically Tahiti is a honeymoon. This is really just helping him get better so we can go.

Phillip: Right. Actually, you know what? I'm going to change my mind about that. I need to talk to Lizzie about something.

Olivia: Well, she's in the study with Alan, or at least that's what Nolan told me, so maybe you should just join us anyway.

Alan: I told that lie for a very good reason. I hope I can trust you to keep it our secret. Can I?