General Hospital Transcript Tuesday 9/17/13

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Provided By Suzanne

Shawn: The guys who have been hitting our shipments, the ones muscling onto our territory -- we know who's in charge.

Sonny: Who?

Shawn: Julian Jerome.

Sonny: There's only one problem with that. Julian Jerome's dead!

Ava: A quick death was too good for that rat, if you ask me.

Derek: Hmm. Well, at least I didn't lose my touch. Now that I've taken care of that annoying piece of business, I need to go check in on my daughter.

Silas: Danny's doing really well. I'm -- I'm gonna take off, okay?

Alexis: Not so fast, Dr. Clay!

Silas: I'm sorry. Is there a problem?

Alexis: Well, it's -- it's not so much a problem, but a question.

Sam: Mom!

Alexis: What deal were you striking when I -- when I just walked in on the two of you?

Sam: Stop that! Mom -- you do not have to answer that.

Alexis: Sure, he does! I'm her mother.

Sam: What are you talking about? I am not a teenager anymore.

Alexis: Well, then, maybe you want to answer.

Sam: Fine. Um... it's just that we --

Alexis: Just what? That what?

Silas: We were just...making plans to go out for dinner.

[Cash register dings]

[Door opens]

Kiki: Morgan!

Morgan: Hi! Where you been? I missed you.

Kiki: You don't even want to know.

Morgan: And yet I have a feeling you're gonna go ahead and tell me anyway.

Kiki: I had a meeting with the wicked witch of the east and west, otherwise known as Monica and Tracy.

Morgan: Why would you want to do that?

Kiki: I didn't want to do it. It wasn't up to me. [Chuckles dryly] They're voting us off of Quartermaine island.

Morgan: Voting us off?

Kiki: They're evicting us, just like they did to my dad -- [Sighs] ...I mean Franco.

Franco: Can I help you?

Felix: Uh, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that Franco?

Carly: It is.

Felix: Okay. If he's out here...

Carly: Who's in there?

Carly: Who's in your room?

Franco: No one's in my room.

Felix: We heard a noise.

Franco: You heard a rat.

Carly: I don't have rats in my hotel.

Franco: You have ghosts --

Felix: You're gonna have to do better than that, unless you want us to open the door and walk in on whoever you're hiding!

Franco: You're, like, uh, Mr. Suspicious guy! Anybody ever tell you that?

Felix: Call me paranoid, but I don't trust known serial killers.

Franco: Alleged serial killer -- nothing's ever been proven. In fact, all the charges have been dropped, because I suffer from --

Felix: Okay, he's stalling. I'll control the artiste. You check and see what he's hiding.

[Beep]

Morgan: This doesn't make any sense. Since when did Tracy and Monica agree on anything?

Kiki: Well, they did come to a meeting of the minds. 'Cause, first, they gave my mom the boot -- which she completely deserved, by the way. And then, as soon as Franco was dropped of all of his charges, they kicked him out, too! I guess they don't need him or his ELQ shares anymore.

Morgan: Yeah, well, I-I can see why they would get rid of Franco, but what --

Kiki: Well, guess what? Now it's time for us to pack up and move out.

Morgan: But why? It's -- it's not like we're living in the main house. A couple months ago, this place was nothing but oars and flotation devices.

Kiki: Morgan, don't you get it? The only reason the Quartermaines let us stay here was because they thought I was one of them and that I was in a position to make demands. But I'm not a member of their family. Franco's not my dad. Silas clay is.

Alexis: So, you two are going to go out on a date...with each other.

Sam: Well, uh, that was --

Silas: It usually takes two.

Sam: We were gonna do that.

Alexis: Okay.

Sam: Mm-hmm.

Alexis: Great!

Sam: [Chuckles]

Silas: Great?

Alexis: Great!

Silas: Are you sure? 'Cause I had the distinct impression that you did not like me.

Alexis: Oh, I didn't. Uh, before you saved Danny's life, I really couldn't stand you. You know, that whole thing with Rafe, and -- and then in court, when you implied that she was an unfit --

Sam: Mom! Come on.

Silas: Yeah, I did. And I couldn't have been more wrong. I've seen it firsthand. You are a -- you're a great mother, Sam. Truth is, if anyone -- if anyone doesn't deserve to be a parent, it's me.

Ava: Are you serious? You're going back to the hospital?

Derek: I'd like to check in on my daughter and grandson, if it's all the same with you.

Ava: Have you forgotten that your less-than-loyal soldier Vince just gave you up to Sonny's goons?

Derek: Uh...no, he gave Julian Jerome up to Sonny's goons -- a man who died two decades ago.

Ava: Except for the fact that he's standing right in front of me.

Derek: Yes, well, I've got a new identity, not to mention a new face, to go along with my new life -- Derek Wells, respectable businessman -- so when we go after Sonny... he won't know what hit him.

Sonny: Julian Jerome died in a shootout years ago.

Shawn: Are you sure?

Sonny: The Jeromes controlled most of Port Charles in the '80s along with the McKays. They are long gone.

Shawn: Look, man. I don't know what to say, man. That's the name Vince gave me.

Sonny: Did it ever occur to you he could be lying?

Shawn: The man was scared. He was ready to crack, okay? Look. Max and I, we threatened him with the deep fryer -- the whole nine.

Sonny: Okay.

Shawn: The guy was caving in as soon as the oil started bubbling, man! I was sure he was telling me the truth!

Sonny: Did you let him go?

Shawn: Yeah.

Sonny: So that's how you do your job, Shawn?! By just letting him go when he's lying to you!

Olivia: S-Sonny, what's going on here?

Derek: Although it really is a shame about Vince. I mean, he's the last person I thought would ever turn on me. No matter. Corinthos is still in the dark. There's no way for my new identity to come to light. I mean, even if he does believe Vince's stories, there's no record linking Derek Wells to Julian Jerome. So when we hijack his shipment, Corinthos won't know where to look.

Ava: No one could ever accuse you of a lack of confidence.

Derek: Except there's one remaining hiccup. I have to make sure that Sonny's nowhere near the action.

Ava: Well, then, you can thank me, brother dear. The night the deal goes down, Sonny will be more than occupied at my party.

Derek: You're having a party?

Ava: Yeah! I'm throwing it with Sonny, actually, to celebrate the union between his son and my daughter. And so, while Sonny is toasting the happy couple, you'll be making off with his shipment.

Derek: [Sighs, chuckles] What... exactly... did you do?

Ava: I went to see Sonny. We had a lovely chat. He really is a very interesting man. And something tells me that if he were firing on all cylinders, he would be quite a challenge. So we are fortunate that he's nearly crippled by grief at the moment. By the way...you're welcome.

Derek: Y-yeah, that's all wonderful, except... I specifically told you to stay away from Sonny. What the hell is wrong with you?

Shawn: You know, I'm-a -- I'm-a get out of here.

Sonny: Yeah, you do that, Shawn!

Olivia: [Sighs] Okay. What is that all about? Sonny, why are you so mad at Shawn?

Sonny: He was supposed to find out about somebody who's muscling into my territory, and he -- he came up with a name.

Olivia: And that's a bad thing?

Sonny: Yeah, it's a bad thing when the name turns up to be a dead man.

Olivia: Who?

Sonny: Julian Jerome, which is impossible.

Olivia: Well...maybe not.

Sonny: What do you know about it?

Olivia: Uh, nothing! I don't know anything except for...two people named Jerome just moved into this town. And your son's married to one of them.

Morgan: What about your dad? Not -- not Franco. The real one, Silas.

Kiki: What? Why would Silas clay give me a place to stay?

Morgan: Because he's a doctor, right? So that means he probably has pretty nice digs. And, I mean, he is your father, so he's, like, legally required to help you.

Kiki: No -- the last time I saw Silas, I was a little busy telling Franco that he wasn't my father. I told him that I would talk to him later, and he's still waiting. So...

Morgan: Still, it doesn't hurt to ask.

Kiki: Morgan! I don't know him!

Morgan: Okay. I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm thinking. Uh, we'll find another place, all right? I'll make sure of it.

Kiki: Okay.

Morgan: Okay?

Kiki: That is why I married you.

Morgan: [Chuckles] Mm. But, I mean, why -- why -- why don't you try to talk to Silas? I mean, he is your father. Don't you want to get to know him at all?

Kiki: To tell you the truth, I don't.

Silas: You know, I should've done this before. I'm sorry about those things that I said. Not only were they completely untrue... I was in no position to judge.

Sam: I-I really don't know what you're talking about, because you and Rafe have made really good progress. I'm not saying you're uncle of the year or anything, but your relationship is in a lot better place than when you first met him.

Silas: The thing is, I didn't know anything about kids! I mean, what was I supposed to do -- you tell me.

Sam: I-I-I tried to tell you before! I mean, it would've been great if you got to try to know him first before you just showed up unannounced, trying to take custody of him. I mean, get to know him on -- on his terms in some way.

Silas: All right. Great. Thank you for that.

Sam: Not that you need my advice anymore, because Rafe -- I think he really likes you. I mean, he's seen what you've done for Danny, and -- [Sighs] This has nothing to do with Rafe... does it? This is about Kiki.

Silas: Like I said, Sam, I got to get going. I'll call you about that dinner sometime. Good night, Sam.

Sam: Good night, Silas.

Franco: Wait, wait! Carly, you can't go in there.

Felix: Why not? What don't you want us to find, or who? Oh, you got someone kidnapped in there! You got them chained to the radiator!

Carly: I don't have radiators.

Felix: Well, she's chained to something! She's bound and gagged and desperately trying to get our attention!

Carly: Don't you think you're going a little overboard?

Felix: Let me remind you we're talking about Franco -- the man who considers death an art form. You know what? Enough stalling! Open the door!

Franco: Wait, wait, wait! I, uh -- there -- there -- [Clears throat] Yeah, there -- there's, uh -- there's a-a woman in there.

Carly: There is?

Franco: Yeah.

Felix: And do you have her held against her will?

Franco: No, she really, really wants to be there.

Felix: [Scoffs, laughs] You're kidding. He got a hooker in there.

Carly: No, it's not a hooker, 'cause he doesn't have any money. Wow, you didn't waste any time. How long was I gone -- an hour?

Felix: [Chuckles] Man works fast.

Carly: Yeah. Looks like you worked up an appetite. You went and got a snack, huh?

Franco: Carly, this is not what it looks like.

Carly: I don't care what it looks like! I don't give a damn! I mean, it's none of my business who you sleep with! It's not like you're gonna have me, at all! You can stay here in my hotel. I just need a credit card -- one that works.

Franco: You don't understand.

Felix: Oh, she understands perfectly. Come on, Carly.

Carly: Goodbye, Franco.

Felix: I hate to tell you I told you so --

Carly: But you're going to!

Felix: Yeah, I told you so.

Sonny: There's no link... between Ava and Kiki as far as the Jerome crime family.

Olivia: W-what do you actually know about Ava Jerome, other than the fact that she was lying to Kiki about who her father was?

Sonny: Maybe she had good reason.

Olivia: Now you're defending this woman. You don't even know her?

Sonny: Oh, I know her. She was here earlier. She wanted to pay her respects.

Olivia: Oh. So Ava Jerome showed up here with what -- a plate of cookies and some baked ziti to offer her condolences to you?

Sonny: She didn't bring any food. She just -- she... brought an idea. Yeah.

Olivia: About what?

Sonny: She wants to throw a party for Morgan and Kiki.

Derek: Not only did you go see Sonny, you are now planning parties with him.

Ava: Inspired, don't you think?

Derek: Not the word I'd use. And just so we're clear... staying away from somebody doesn't translate to co-hosting social functions with them.

Ava: As long as we're making things clear...you're not my boss.

Derek: This is business, Ava. I don't want you complicating the plan, if you haven't derailed it entirely.

Ava: If you would stop lecturing me and just let me --

Derek: What if you tipped him off? What if this little party of yours makes him suspicious? What if he starts asking questions, and -- I don't know -- puts two and two together?

Ava: And comes up with absolutely nothing? You just got through telling me there is nothing that connects Derek Wells with Julian Jerome!

Derek: Yeah, except my sister, who's now planning parties with the guy that we're trying to take down.

Ava: Just give me a little credit, will you? I've been dealing with these people for months.

Derek: Yeah, and gotten exactly nowhere.

Ava: Are you serious? I'm the reason that Morgan met Kiki in the first place. Me. Not you, Julian. So I would think twice before you forbid me to do anything! I'm the one who made sure they got married!

Derek: [Exhales]

Kiki: I'm not exactly eager to start a relationship with Silas clay. My whole life, I lived without a father. My mom told me that he was dead, and then one day, poof! Guess what, Kiki? He's actually alive, and he is a murderer named Franco.

Morgan: Yeah, that's a lot to process.

Kiki: Yeah! It completely freaked me out. Then Franco started to grow on me. I don't know if it was because I was flattered because he cared so much, or maybe I bought into his plan that if he were good, he'd be able to prove himself to me. I -- [Sighs] All I know is that I started to see Franco for something other than a freak. I saw him as a person. And just when I started to care, I find out that he's not my father.

Morgan: Kiki, I'm -- I'm sorry, okay? I know this whole situation's really screwed up.

Kiki: Yeah...except for one thing. You. [Chuckles] You really help me keep my sanity through all of this, and without you, I would've fallen apart. [Sighs] Anyway... [Sighs] So the answer is no. I do not want to bond with Silas clay.

Morgan: Look, I'm not -- I'm not defending the guy. I'm just saying nothing that happened with Franco was his fault.

Kiki: He still had the bad taste of getting with my mom to begin with, so that doesn't really give him any points.

Morgan: I know you're mad at your mom, but whatever --

Kiki: Mad? Mad? No. Mad doesn't even begin to describe it. You know how much that hurt me? Someone that I love, someone that I trusted so much, lied to my face about something so important. [Sighs] You're right. It's not Silas clay's fault for the things that my mom did, but that doesn't mean that I want to have a relationship with him! And it's fine, because I haven't seen him in weeks, so I'm just gonna keep on doing what I'm doing, and...the more space we keep between us, the better. Right?

[Knock on door]

Kiki: Were you expecting someone?

Morgan: Well, maybe the Q's decided to kick us out early.

Kiki: Well... I'll make them go away.

Sam: [Chuckles] Well, I guess Silas has started to deal with the reality that he's Kiki's father.

Alexis: Well, I-I-I can say for sure that it's not easy to all of a sudden find out you have an adult child. [Clicks tongue] But I have to give him credit. He's a good multi-tasker. He did find time through all of this to ask you out on a date!

Sam: Yes, he did. And I-I've got to admit, Silas and I -- we did get off to a bad start. And after a while, he -- he started to grow on me. And I don't know. I-I guess, um, I've started to see his -- his charm.

Alexis: You don't say.

Sam: But...we still have our differences. Uh, uh, we do. I mean, I don't know. Maybe -- maybe I've, uh -- I've put up my defenses or something. Something's changed. I don't know. Maybe it's that Jason's been gone for over a year now, and I'm lonely, or -- I don't know. Maybe I've gone completely insane, and I need to be institutionalized.

Alexis: [Chuckles]

Heather: [Gasps] Finally! Hand over that gorgeous creature. Oh, yeah. Come to mama. Ick!

Franco: Problem?

Heather: I'll say! This sandwich was pre-owned! Someone took a bite out of it! You brought me a used BLT!

Franco: No, I didn't, Heather. I wouldn't do anything like that to you.

Heather: Well, somebody took a bite out of it. It didn't bite itself!

Franco: I did that.

Heather: You.

Franco: Oh, yeah! Just couldn't help myself.

Heather: Well... I can understand. It is irresistible. Well, I do adore you, but... germs are germs. [Grunts] Yeah! Mmm, mmm! This is like heaven on earth! That's what I'm talking about. Mm-hmm.

Franco: You know, as much as I'm enjoying your reunion with your little sandwich, and as much as I would like to give the two of you some privacy, this is my suite, and I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

Heath: What is your problem?

Franco: What is my problem? You are my problem. You just ruined my life.

Carly: Why would you bring me here, of all places? I mean, if you wanted to gloat, we could've just stayed at the restaurant at the metro court.

Felix: I wanted to put as much distance between you and that sleaze as possible. I mean, if that display doesn't convince you that he's a slime with --

Carly: Shh!

Felix: No, you need to listen to what I'm --

Carly: Stop talking! Look!

Ava: [Speaking indistinctly]

Carly: I wonder what the hell that's all about.

Derek: [Speaking indistinctly]

Alexis: You are not crazy, and you do not need to be institutionalized. Well...

Sam: [Chuckles]

Alexis: I'm saying that you're young, okay? And -- and you have your whole life ahead of you. And I don't want to see you spend it alone.

Sam: Let's not get carried away. Silas and I, we agreed to have some -- some dinner at, like, some vague future time! That's it!

Alexis: Well, whatever it is, I'm glad that you're putting yourself out there, because you deserve a personal life after everything you've been through.

Sam: Hmm. So you're okay with me going out with Silas?

Alexis: If it makes you happy to go out with Silas, I'm perfectly fine with it.

Sam: [Groans] "But." I knew there'd be a catch! Go ahead! Give it to me. What?

Alexis: I just want you to know that I am watching out for you. And Silas hasn't proven himself totally to me.

Morgan: It's pretty late, isn't it, dude? I mean, Kiki and I were just about to hit the sh-- [Clears throat] [Stammering] We were gonna go to bed.

Silas: Don't call me "dude." Listen, I apologize for the late hour, and... I don't blame you if you don't want to...see me. I know your mom did a number on you, telling you that Franco was your father, and then... the two of you had a relationship -- I saw that. And all of a sudden, the news comes out that I'm your father, and... that hit me pretty hard. I can only imagine that's strange as hell for you.

Kiki: Strange doesn't even begin to describe it.

Silas: I can only imagine. Anyway, I came by because I thought you'd like to know that, um... Danny's gonna be okay. He's gonna recover.

Kiki: He's -- he's going to be okay? He's --

Silas: Yeah! You know, he's, uh -- he's a tough little guy, you know? He hung in there, and the transplant's taking.

Kiki: Oh, my g-- that's amazing news! And -- and... you were the doctor that helped him get through all of that, right?

Silas: I just did my job. On a good day, that means somebody gets to live, and... today was a very good day.

Kiki: Well, thank you for telling me that.

Silas: I'm glad I got to see you. I wanted you to know that when Danny got sick... I couldn't focus on anything else. That's just kind of the way I am. Now at he's better, I can -- [Sighs] I can think about other parts of my life, and... I just wanted to reach out and say hello. That's all.

Olivia: Ava wants to throw a party.

Sonny: For Morgan and Kiki.

Olivia: I don't care who it's for!

Sonny: But it's for --

Olivia: We're burying Connie tomorrow! And she comes over here, and she wants to throw a party? Are you kidding me?

Sonny: I had the same reaction, you know? And then I -- I started thinking, you know, she said it's for Morgan, and then, you know, we can think of something positive. I-I think she was right when she started saying that!

Olivia: How about... it's completely poorly timed, and completely insensitive! You want to think about something positive, huh? Think about your baby granddaughter. Little Connie. Honey, I just -- I just went to see her. She's so... beautiful and feisty... just like her namesake.

Sonny: She's beaut-- I mean...a-Ava was saying the same thing, you know? It's like... how life is, and... things like that.

Olivia: Right. So, it sounds like you and Ava really, um, hit it off, huh?

Sonny: It turns out we got a lot in common, or at least a few things.

Olivia: Like what?

Ava: You should be thanking me for my genius, instead of trashing my idea to throw a party with Sonny. Everyone will be completely occupied while you make your move!

Derek: You are completely missing the point. You knew how I felt about you making contact with Sonny. And you completely ignored what I said.

Ava: Get over it. I'm not one of your soldiers. We are equal partners in crime. Aren't we?

Felix: Okay, I recognize Derek Wells, but who's the woman?

Carly: Ava Jerome. My son's married to her daughter.

Felix: Is there a reason you're not saying hello?

Carly: Yeah -- I can't stand her.

Felix: Why not?

Carly: Because the first time I laid eyes on her, she was kissing Franco.

Heather: Excuse me? How have I ruined your life? I haven't even left the room!

Franco: Yeah, I know. That's kind of the problem.

Heather: I don't follow you.

Franco: [Sighs] Carly heard you in here, and now she thinks I'm sleeping with you -- well, not you you, but someone, I guess, like you. And since my only other option was to tell her that I was harboring an escaped mental patient, I allowed her to think that that was the truth.

Heather: FYI, I'm not escaped. The folks over at the Miscavige institute don't even know I'm gone!

Franco: [Sighs] Great! Thank you! That makes me feel so much better!

Heather: Well, it certainly should! I mean, it saves them the trouble of a statewide manhunt!

Franco: Whatever. It would've been a disaster if Carly had found you in here, but now she just thinks I'm a sleaze! [Sighs]

Heather: [Scoffs] Who cares what Carly thinks?

Franco: I care.

Heather: Why?

Franco: Because I care about her.

Heather: You do?

Franco: Yeah, I do.

Heather: Since when?

Franco: Since... I don't know. I don't know! A while. And -- I was starting to hope that eventually...she would be able to return those feelings. But now that's just never gonna happen.

Heather: As far as I'm concerned... you dodged yourself a bullet there, baby -- literally.

Carly: [Quietly] Ava and Franco were up to something when first met her, and I haven't trusted her since. Look at her. You can tell she's plotting something.

Felix: [Quietly] Mm. Last time I saw Mr. Wells, he was in a hospital gown. But now he looks like he stepped off the cover of a GQ. And Ava's no slouch, either!

Carly: Would you stop talking?!

Derek: You should consider your words more carefully, sister, because we're not gonna be partners in anything unless you start running your ideas past me.

Ava: What difference does it make now? We couldn't have planned this any better if we tried.

Derek: And how's that?

Ava: As I was saying... Sonny is out of his mind with grief over the dear departed... not to mention... he's bipolar.

Derek: What?

Ava: Mm-hmm! And he's on some pretty heavy-duty medication! But I put it in his mind that maybe he ought to skip it.

Derek: A bipolar mob boss off his meds.

[Chuckles] Well, that's either a complete disaster or, um... exactly the opening we need.

Ava: Admit it. I took care of keeping Sonny busy the night of the shipment. Now, if you'll excuse me... I have a party to plan.

Derek: Mm.

[Both sigh]

Felix: That was too close, girl.

[Metal slams]

Derek: Who's there?

Olivia: So... are you telling me that you and Ava Jerome are simpatico? In what ways?

Ava: I didn't mean to compare my loss to yours.

Sonny: Seems like you've said a lot of things that you don't mean.

Ava: Well, I have, haven't I? That's very unlike me. What I meant when I said I know how you feel... is that I know what it's like to go to that very dark place.

Sonny: Ava's, uh -- Ava is, uh -- she's crazy about Morgan. She's just thrilled that he -- he married her daughter.

Olivia: Really?

Sonny: She -- she wants our kids to start married life on the right foot. She wants us to put our grief over Connie aside for one night! We can celebrate, right... in support of Kiki and Morgan. I don't see anything wrong with that!

Silas: This is where you can reach me -- either number. And no pressure. I know I'm a stranger. But I would like to get to know you. And if you ever feel like giving me the chance...just give me a call, you know? We could, you know, maybe go get some coffee or... go to a ball game? No, maybe not a ball game, but we could -- you know what? We could do whatever you want to do, okay?

Ava: Silas.

Kiki: Mom.

Silas: Ava.

Ava: What -- what are you doing here?

Silas: Oh, I'm just talking to my daughter -- you know, the one that you kept from me for so long.

Kiki: I think the better question is what are you doing here?

Ava: I -- well... sweetheart, I came to see you! I, uh -- I want to make things up to you if I can.

Kiki: Well, that's too bad!

Ava: Will you just hear me out?

Kiki: [Sighs]

Ava: I was talking to Morgan's father, and we agreed that the two of you should have a-a party! Sort of a -- a wedding reception. Since you were married at the courthouse, we couldn't celebrate with you. And that's what we'd like to offer you -- a chance for your families to show you love and support, and for everyone to get to know each other!

Kiki: No, thanks.

Ava: Kiki... please! I know that things are difficult between us right now, but can't you see that I'm trying?!

Kiki: I can see that you're putting on a show, which is what you always do, and I don't buy it!

Ava: What about Morgan's father? Sonny wants the two of you to have a celebration that you deserve! So what do you say? Morgan!

Morgan: Kiki, it is just a party. Why not say yes?

Sam: I am grateful that you are looking out for me, mom. I want you to know that.

Alexis: It's not so awful, is it?

Sam: No! I mean, it could be worse. You could be telling me who I can and cannot be with.

Alexis: Yeah, that worked out really well, didn't it?

Sam: Not so well.

Alexis: I know you're an adult, and I know you're perfectly capable of making your own decisions. But I am reserving the right to express my feelings. And if, at any time, I have concerns about Silas or anyone else...you're gonna hear from me!

Sam: Okay! That's fine! Don't worry! I'm more than aware that Silas has his flaws! I mean... [Chuckles] Not everyone can be as perfect as...Derek Wells.

Felix: Ow! What was that for?

Carly: I saw the texts! Who is Jennifer, and why is she sending you pictures of her in her bikini?

Felix: Uh --

Carly: Oh, great! We have an audience here! Isn't that great, Felix?

Derek: My apologies. I didn't mean to interrupt.

Carly: Mm.

Derek: Aren't you Mrs. Jacks from the metro court?

Carly: Yes. Do I know you?

Derek: Yeah. Derek Wells. I have an office space in your hotel.

Carly: Oh! Of course!

Derek: Yeah. I'm, uh -- I'm sorry. I've seen you around the hotel, but I've never introduced myself.

Carly: Oh, you don't have to apologize! I mean, I should recognize you. Aren't you running the magazine that Connie Falconeri used to own?

Derek: Yeah. Yeah. It was a -- it was a tragedy, what happened. It's, um -- it's a loss.

Carly: Yeah, it was terrible.

Derek: Yeah, I was just thinking about her right now. My, uh -- my art dealer friend was going on and on about these paintings I needed to buy, but, uh, I really wasn't in the mood for that. I mean, one of my trusted employees was just, um... murdered. So I, uh -- I dismissed her for the day. I'm sure you saw her leave here in a huff.

Carly: No, we were a little busy.

Derek: Okay. Well, uh...I'll let you get back to your, uh, conversation.

Carly: Yeah.

Felix: In case I forget to tell you -- ow.

Carly: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't know what else to do!

Felix: No, it was a nice save, but, damn, you got a hard slap!

Carly: Mm.

Felix: You think he bought our story?

Carly: I don't care if he did! He needs to worry if we bought his!

Heather: If you ask me... those brain doctors scooped out your common sense along with that tumor. Carly Jacks tried to have you killed. She's dangerous!

Franco: If Carly did try and have me killed -- and I'm not saying that she did -- don't you think I deserved it?

Heather: What are you talking about?

Franco: I've done despicable things in my life. I've done despicable things to Carly, to all the people she cares about. I felt like things were shifting in me. Carly looked at me like I might be changing. And I started to hope... that I might have... a normal life. Who knows? Maybe even a normal life with Carly.

Heather: Oh, lucky you!

Franco: Now that's all over before it even started. Never gonna get Carly to love me now.

Heather: Well, if it's any consolation... I still love you!

Morgan: Hey, why don't you give your mom a break, okay? She's trying to make things right.

Ava: I really am. Why don't you just take this for what it is -- a good-faith gesture to celebrate your marriage to Morgan. But we can't do that without the bride, can we? So, please. Tell me you'll be there.

Kiki: Can I invite someone?

Ava: Yes! Of course! Anybody you want! Just tell me who it is, and I'll make sure they're on the guest list. Wh-who would you like to invite, honey?

Kiki: The father of the bride! Um, you don't have a problem with that, do you, mom, considering you kept us apart for 21 years?

Ava: Anything you want. It's your party.

Kiki: So, what do you say? Will you come?

Silas: Sure. I'll be there.

Alexis: When did I say that Derek Wells was perfect?

Sam: You didn't have to.

Alexis: I didn't say that he was perfect.

Sam: But he's interesting!

Alexis: I said he was nice, and he very generously --

Sam: I know you said you weren't interested in anyone. I said I wasn't, either. Look -- I'm going out on a date with Silas!

Alexis: You also said that you had lost your mind and that you should be institutionalized.

Sam: Yeah, I did, and maybe I was right. I mean, isn't it always a little crazy to put yourself out there, throw caution to the wind? But look! I'm -- I'm doing it! I'm going out on a date with Silas! Maybe you should give Derek a chance!

Derek: Did I hear my name?

Felix: Don't tell me you had a problem with Mr. Hot-o-sexual Derek Wells.

Carly: What are you talking about?

Felix: Don't knock it! A man like that could help you erase the picture of Franco and his groupie doing paint-by-numbers in the hotel room. You know what I mean?

Heather: I don't suppose you brought seconds.

Franco: Sadly, Heather, all the bacon in the world is gone.

Heather: [Gasps] Don't even joke about that.

Franco: You're right. That's mean. I'm sorry.

Heather: Well, I'd better get going back to the institute before they realize I'm gone. Don't take this the wrong way, but... hanging around with a heartsick birthday boy isn't the way I want to get caught.

Franco: Yeah, I don't blame you.

Heather: Oh, cheer up, Frankie. I'm sure someday soon, you'll find a woman that's worthy of you. And she'll turn that frown into a smile.

Franco: I don't know about that.

Heather: I can tell you one thing. You could sure do a lot better than Carly Jacks.

Carly: I'm finished discussing Franco with you.

Felix: Okay! That sounds like a step in the right direction! Mr. Hot-off-the-press sounds like he'd be more than capable of providing a distraction.

Carly: And you accuse me of having bad taste in men. There is no way that Ava Jerome is his art dealer! Derek Wells is lying through his teeth!

Felix: Okay. If it wasn't about art, then what was it about?

Carly: I don't know, but I'm gonna find out!

Felix: Oh, sounds good to me!

Carly: Why's that?

Felix: What better way to take your mind off the weasel with an easel than to dig up dirt on Derek Wells?

Alexis: Derek! Uh... we were just talking about you because we were wondering if... you wanted to come back and visit after you get done with your business.

Derek: Oh.

Alexis: How's it going, anyway?

Derek: Couldn't be better! As a matter of fact, things are going so well... that I think the thing I've been working on is gonna go just the way I'd hoped.

Olivia: Um... I still think this party's a bad idea, but I... don't feel like fighting you on it right now.

Sonny: I'm glad to hear it.

Olivia: We should probably try to get some rest. We got Connie's funeral first thing in the morning. So, um... I was thinking that I would go back to my place, if you think you're gonna be all right.

Sonny: I'm fine.

Olivia: Okay.

Sonny: I appreciate everything that you've done with this, you know, as far as Connie, and --

Olivia: Right.

Sonny: 'Cause she got killed.

Olivia: I'm gonna get going. Don't forget to take your meds.

Sonny: Oh, I won't.

Ava: And I wanted to feel that pain... because I caused what happened. Going to that dark place was... it's my penance. I wonder which punishment is worse -- feeling too much of something... or nothing at all.

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