General Hospital Transcript Wednesday 5/22/13

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Kiki: [Giggles] [Smacks] Aaah!

Morgan: Shh! My brother's sleeping.

Kiki: I'm sorry.

Michael: Actually, no, he's not. He's been awake all night.

Kiki: Oh, no! Is the couch not cutting it?

Morgan: Yeah. Should we get you, like, an air mattress or something?

Michael: No, it's the audio that's the problem -- the moans, the grunts, the pounding against the wall, the constant squeaking of the bed springs.

Kiki: Your brother's a beast.

Morgan: [Chuckles]

Michael: Is that my shirt?

Kiki: Oh, yeah. I thought the little old lady was so cute.

Michael: That little old lady happens to be my great-grandmother. Take it off.

Kiki: Oh, well, if you insist.

A.J.: [Exhales sharply]

Tracy: A.J. I know you and I make it a habit to stay out of each other's air space, but I'm actually happy to see you. I've been watching for your announcement.

A.J.: My announcement?

Tracy: Yeah, that your bastardized version of pickle-Lila was responsible for the relish regurgitation on "the chew" the other day. Did I miss it?

A.J.: Uh, no. You didn't miss it. I didn't make it.

Tracy: Oh. Well, then, I guess I'm gonna have to tell Elizabeth that you and Carly were rutting like farm animals. Or did you tell her already?

Carly: Elizabeth.

Elizabeth: Hi.

Carly: Hi.

Elizabeth: I'm glad I ran into you. I heard about what happened. A.J. Told me everything.

Lulu: You're early.

Just working on tonight's guest list.

Lulu: I know my memory's a problem, but I don't remember these monitors.

Yeah. Just all part of tonight's surprise.

Well, I got my guys restocking the store room.

Lulu: Oh! Um -- thank you.

No, thank you. I thought I lost your business after the haunted star sailed off.

Lulu: Uh, no. It's -- it was just a trip. [Chuckles] Good. Uh, just need your signature.

Lulu: Okay. Um, let's see. [Clears throat] Is there a problem? Uh -- I don't know how to spell my last name.

Kevin: Detective Falconeri.

Dante: Call me "Dante."

Kevin: Kevin.

Dante: Thank you for meeting me on such short notice.

Kevin: Well, it worked out. I just saw my wife off, so I had the morning free.

Dante: Is she leaving town?

Kevin: Uh, no. She's embarking on a whole new business venture. She's been at a bit of a loss since CoeCoe was shuttered by the S.E.C. So, today marks the day of a whole new beginning.

Dante: What's that?

Kevin: I have no idea. [Chuckles] She's been pretty tight-lipped about it.

Lucy: Come on. Come on, everybody. Gather. Gather, gather, gather. Come in. Let's go. Come on. Remember, this is a very special place, but we need to stick very closely together because we are going to explore the earliest, deadliest, bloodiest episode ever in Port Charles history. I am Lucy Coe, cosmetic maven, and I am your director for this tour of the macabre and the malevolent, so welcome, everyone, to the Stephen Clay experience.

[Applause]

Alexis: Stephen Clay has a brother that you ran into in New York?

Sam: Yeah, and then again last night. Dr. Clay didn't even know he had a nephew until a couple of days ago, and he didn't seem to care until he showed up here, demanding to see Rafe.

Alexis: Was he hostile or threatening?

Sam: No. He was more like smug and arrogant. And I tried to get him to leave, and as he was leaving, Rafe walked in.

Alexis: Yeah? How did that go?

Sam: [Sighs] Not very good. Rafe basically freaked out, and I don't blame him, mom. Dr. Clay is the spitting image of his psycho brother.

Lucy: "But, Lucy," you say, "Stephen Clay experience was a band." And you would be right, because Stephen Clay was a musician whose music, they say, could seduce even the coldest heart. But to those of us who lived in Port Charles during his deadly reign -- to us, we don't care about those gold records. What we remember about Stephen Clay is how he destroyed lives and he took lives. So, everybody, deep breath. Let's get ready [Inhales deeply] To go behind the music to the monster within. Right here -- right down here -- look closely. Right down here is the lonely, cold spot that Alison Barrington first alit in Port Charles, coming back home, because this was her home at one time. But, you see, what we know is that Alison was my -- my very, very dear friend. And she was also being pursued by a maniac -- a shadowy demon from her past who was actually the biological father of her son, Rafe. You see, Rafe and Alison came to Port Charles 'cause they wanted help. They wanted aid. They wanted refuge. But before they could find it, their pursuer found them. Stephen Clay caught up to Alison Barrington, and in this lonely, horrible spot, he murdered her right in front of her boy's eyes. [Sighs]

Sam: So, then I finally got Dr. Better-than-anybody-else Clay to leave. I opened the door, and Rafe is standing there.

Alexis: Well, how did he react?

Sam: Well, mom, he was -- he was freaked out. He thought Stephen was back. He said something about him being immortal, and I barely got to explain before Silas started putting out his hand for Rafe to shake his hand, and then, obviously, Rafe freaked out, and he ran upstairs.

Alexis: Oh, boy. [Sighs] Can we hope that maybe this is the last we see of uncle Silas?

Sam: Well, Dr. Clay said that he wasn't gonna give up. And I have a bad feeling he's gonna try and see Rafe again.

Rafe: Well, too bad. I don't want to see him.

Dante: My wife, Lulu, was kidnapped recently.

Kevin: Yeah, I read about that.

Dante: Her abductor's name was Stavros Cassadine.

Kevin: Well, from what I understand, he is -- extremely unstable. That's not an uncommon trait in the Cassadines.

Dante: So, he convinced himself that Lulu belonged to him. He had almost killed her by locking her in a freezing room. When we found her, she was unconscious. When we got her to wake up, she didn't remember anything -- her parents, her friends, me. Her whole life was just wiped out.

Kevin: Has she seen a neurologist?

Dante: Yeah. The doctor said she's fine -- nothing physical. She just doesn't remember. And then her grandmother tells me that it might be psychological.

Kevin: Which is where I come in.

Dante: Look, Lulu's personality is intact. She's still Lulu. She's smart. She's stubborn. She's independent. She has flashes of memory, but then she can't hang on to them. She needs help. And I'm not equipped. I-I don't know what to do. That's why Lulu needs you.

Lulu: Is there a-a "y" in Falconeri? [Chuckles] You know, maybe your friend can sign for you.

Lulu: Uh, no, no. It's -- it's okay. You know what? I will, um -- I'll just sign my maiden name.

Okay.

Lulu: Thank you.

Thank you.

Lulu: Thanks.

Amnesia must be difficult. You know, I noticed before that you're right-handed. That might suggest that you sleep on the left side of the bed. As for your signature and how you sign your name, I can't help you there.

Lulu: Well, um, speaking of names, how do I spell your last name?

Whoa. [Chuckles] Why?

Lulu: Well, I'm throwing your party, and I don't know what to call you, so it's probably time to introduce yourself.

Tracy: So, how did Elizabeth take it when you told her that her knight in shining armor fell off his horse directly onto his ex-wife? Did she forgive you, or did she drop you like a crate of rancid relish?

A.J.: She didn't dump me.

Tracy: Well, wh -- how come? I didn't hear you.

A.J.: Because I didn't tell her!

Tracy: You have the backbone of a banana slug.

A.J.: You know something, Tracy? Let me ask you something. When was the last time you spoke to either of your sons -- or -- or, better yet, went on a date? I mean, how is the internet community taking the fact that Tracy Quartermaine is on the prowl? Let me guess -- radio silence? Look, the fact of the matter is you can tear me down all you want. Nothing changes the fact that you are a lonely, old shrew.

Tracy: I hope that comforts you when I take over ELQ.

A.J.: No. No. That's not gonna happen. I've worked too hard.

Tracy: Then you announce that your relish was responsible, or I will announce that you slept with Carly, and let's just see how fast your little Elizabeth walks away without a backward glance.

Carly: Um -- A.J. told you?

Elizabeth: Well, yes. He wanted to explain when you guys were --

Carly: Okay, before you unload on me in front of everybody --

Elizabeth: Uh, wait. Hold on. Wait. Why would I unload on you?

Carly: Because you don't like me. [Chuckles]

Elizabeth: I just wanted to ask about your boys. A.J. said that he ran into you in New York and that you were having some problems with Morgan.

Carly: Yeah. I-I -- yeah. Morgan. He was a challenge. You're gonna find that out when cam and Aiden are older, but, you know, they're fine. Michael and Morgan -- they're fine. They're doing great. Really.

Elizabeth: Why were you so defensive just now? What did you think I meant?

Carly: I-I have a lot on my mind right now, Elizabeth.

Elizabeth: Okay, but you were gonna tell me something about you and A.J. What is it?

Kiki: Your turn, Michael.

Morgan: Michael, eyes off my girlfriend's rack, please. Thank you.

Michael: What, are you a feminist-studies major now, Morgan?

Kiki: You have anything to eat, Michael? 'Cause I am starving.

Michael: Well, you know what? Obviously, this isn't gonna work. She comes over uninvited. She takes over my house. She -- she raids my kitchen. She wears my clothes. She sleeps in my bed.

Morgan: Okay, calm down. I'll talk to her.

Michael: Can't you see that she's playing you, Morgan?

Morgan: Gee, I thought she just found my sexual prowess irresistible.

Michael: Look, man, I give you props being able to last all night with sprung ribs, but I'm not gonna stay up all night listening to you two play mattress tag.

Morgan: I thought you were okay with this.

Michael: You're my brother. I'm not gonna turn you away, okay? Besides, I know how much you hate mom and dad fighting over you.

Morgan: Yeah, you think? Okay, you knew what was gonna happen, Michael. They were already heating up, all right? They were gonna go 15 rounds about how he's dangerous and how she's punishing him and how you got shot. Okay? I can't listen to it, man.

Michael: Well, look, Morgan, you can stay with me as long as you need.

Kiki: Aww. You two made up? That's sweet.

Michael: [Sighs] You can stay, Morgan. She can't.

Kiki: What the --

Carly: Uh, there's, um -- nothing to tell.

Elizabeth: Really?

Carly: Mm-hmm.

Elizabeth: 'Cause it kind of seemed like you wanted to tell me something.

Carly: So, I'm lying now?

Elizabeth: I-I don't know. Are you?

Carly: About what?

Elizabeth: I have no idea. [Chuckles]

Carly: I mean, did you just want to come out here and needle me for fun? Is that it?

Elizabeth: Oh, my God! No, Carly. A.J. Said you were worried about Morgan. I was just trying to offer my sympathy, and, obviously, it was a huge mistake.

Carly: No. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You bring up A.J., And that is not a happy subject for me, and I guess I overreacted.

Elizabeth: Okay.

Carly: Elizabeth, I'm always gonna be grateful to you. Your little boy saved my daughter, and that will always be the only thing that matters to me, so I am very sorry if I was rude.

Elizabeth: [Sighs] It's not your attitude towards me. It's your attitude towards A.J.

Carly: A.J. And I have nothing in common except for Michael and the fact that we hate each other. And while I think you deserve much, much better, you choose him, so have at it. I got to go. I-I -- these doughnuts aren't gonna eat themselves.

Tracy: If you won't admit that your relish poisoned everybody and if you don't confess to Elizabeth that you slept with Carly, I'm gonna have to do both.

A.J.: Just wait. Wait, all right?

Tracy: For what?

A.J.: Don't you want to know what really happened?

Tracy: I know what happened. You poisoned the stars of "the chew."

A.J.: No. No, it wasn't pickle-Lila.

Tracy: [Laughs] Well, it wasn't pickle-Eddie.

A.J.: Come on, Tracy. It's just you and me out here -- just us. You can be honest. Did you spike my relish?

Tracy: How could I? I was trapped in a hotel room by Nikolas' goons until air time. And, by the way, I didn't need to. My relish was gonna win. If there was any sabotaging going on, it was you doing it.

A.J.: I didn't taint your relish. When could I do it? You had it the whole time. So, if you didn't spike my relish and I didn't spike your relish and neither of the two jars went bad, then what the hell did happen?

You did not need to know my name before.

Lulu: You're renting my boat. I just need to draw up a contract.

No. You do not.

Lulu: But there will be a security deposit. I'll need you to sign papers so that --

It's all there. All -- cash -- in full.

Lulu: I've been through a lot lately, okay? I-I don't need any more problems. If you can't tell me your name, we probably --

My name is a surprise for the party. The party is a -- is a surprise. Look, I-I don't need to go through this. I don't need to spend this time. I do not need to spend -- this. Haven't you ever just gone through an elaborate plan and then had somebody spoil your surprise?

Lulu: I wouldn't remember.

Right. Well, you can take my word for it. It's a bummer.

Lulu: [Sighs] I wasn't gonna tell anyone.

No one can know -- no one -- until it's time. And if I tell you, then I'm taking a chance. I mean, y-you might -- you might just let it slip.

Lulu: So, you don't trust me?

No. Not at all. But, please, don't take that personally. I don't trust anyone.

Kevin: You have to understand. If there's no clinical explanation, then we have to presume that the condition is the result of emotional trauma.

Dante: Yeah. The thought of anything happening to her just makes me lose my mind. I mean, if we don't fix this -- if she never remembers -- she loses her memory, her life up to this point. I mean, I don't want that. And I got to believe that Lulu doesn't, either.

Kevin: You know, it's -- it's possible that it's not that Lulu can't remember. It may be she doesn't want to.

Rafe: I don't want to see him. Stephen Clay is not my father, and he's not my uncle.

Alexis: Rafe, I understand. You have every right to feel that way, from an emotional --

Rafe: He's a complete stranger. All I see when I look at his face is the man who murdered my mother.

What happened to the boy -- the one that saw his mama murdered?

Lucy: Oh. Right. Well, um -- poor Rafe was truly tormented by Stephen Clay, but he did survive. The ordeal did leave him an orphan, however. But I-I volunteered to take him into my home. I wanted to, but then the, um, court sort of somehow deemed me unfit. Can you believe that? Me -- unfit? The fact is Rafe has a wonderful home. He has a safe harbor. He moved in with a lovely, lovely young woman, and I'm sure he's doing okay, although the trauma from his past still lingers -- just like the blood still lingers on the pier. Okay. Who's hungry? [Chuckles] Okay, let's go. Follow me. And this way. Pardon me. Pardon me. And this way. March. Come on. March. Yes. Yes. And go. Here we go. With my little girl, every food is finger food. This is where it happened. This is where I had to meet my adversary, and I had to take immediate action, everybody -- immediate. I had to grab this stake, and I had to stab him in his cold, dark heart.

Man: Why aren't you in jail -- or a padded cell?

Lucy: Oh, well, because I-I was, uh -- well, I've been there, done both. I was exonerated, actually.

Woman: Can we order? I'm starving.

Why would you stake a man?

Lucy: Well, because he wasn't a man. He was a -- vam --

Kevin: [Chuckling] Oh, don't stop on my account. I'm riveted!

Todd look-alike: Did you lose a contact lens?

Silas: I don't wear contacts.

Todd look-alike: So, then, what are you looking at?

Silas: Uh --a woman was murdered here.

Todd look-alike: Someone you know?

Silas: No, I didn't know her. They tell me my brother killed her. Apparently, that was his thing -- killing people.

Todd look-alike: Cross him off your Christmas list.

Silas: He's dead.

Todd look-alike: Oh. Shame.

Dante: Hey. What -- what's all this?

Lulu: The boat has been rented out for a party.

Dante: Oh, yeah? Am I invited?

Lulu: Couldn't say. Haven't seen the guest list.

Dante: Well, who's throwing this shindig?

Lulu: Uh -- didn't tell me his name -- just paid cash. That's all I know. Do you need something?

Dante: Nope. Just checking in. [Sighs] You sure you're, uh -- you're ready for this?

Lulu: Well, got to get started at some point. Just wish I remembered how to throw a party. I did manage to know where the fuse box was, though.

Dante: That's great. Really, that -- that is a good thing.

Lulu: Don't get your hopes up. Still can't spell my last name.

Dante: It's Falconeri with an "I." But that's not what's bothering you.

Lulu: You read minds now.

Dante: Nope. No, I just remember you after your mother's wedding yesterday, and you seemed a little off.

Lulu: Yeah. There was too many people.

Dante: Really? 'Cause I saw your face when they were saying their "I do's," and it seemed like you were remembering something. Were you?

Morgan: Come on. Give us one more chance. I'll even cook dinner.

Kiki: Yeah. Oh, do you like Mac and cheese?

Morgan: Yeah. Her out-of-box is out of this world, seriously.

Michael: No, thank you.

Morgan: Michael - Michael, please, dude. I-I-I need you to do this for me. Think of this as like one of the things you do for your little brother because, you know --

Michael: Because?

Morgan: B-b-because -- because that's your job. That's why. And it matters to me.

Kiki: Michael -- Mikey, yeah, I was surfing earlier, and I must have downloaded a virus, because your computer crashed, and it won't reboot.

[Knock on door]

Carly: Michael, it's mom!

Morgan: No. No, no, no. Hey, hey.

Carly: Michael, I brought doughnuts!

Morgan: Don't answer, okay? She's gonna have a stroke if she finds Kiki here.

Michael: You don't want mom to know?

Morgan: No, I don't want Kiki to have to go through the Carly Corinthos Jacks third degree.

Carly: Michael, what's going on in there? I can hear voices.

Morgan: Shh. She'll go away.

Kiki: Mikey, hey!

Michael: Hey, mom. Oh, uh, meet Morgan's girlfriend, Kiki. They just had sex in my bed.

Morgan: Oh.

Tracy: You're reaching, A.J. What happened is your new and improved pickle-Lila wasn't tested properly.

A.J.: It was.

Tracy: No. You went into production too quickly, and now you have to pay the price for it.

A.J.: I'm not gonna let you blackmail me.

Tracy: Okay. Well, then, you tell Elizabeth you slept with Carly. Your choice!

Ava: I thought he'd never leave.

[Indistinct conversation]

Lulu: You know, this isn't easy for me. I can't just summon up the memories whenever I want.

Dante: I know, but have you asked yourself why you can't hold on to these flashes of memory?

Lulu: No. If I knew the answer to that, I'd be smiling and happy and the Lulu that everyone wants me to be.

Dante: Wait, wait, wait. You are the Lulu that everyone wants you to be. You're the Lulu that we love. You have your parents, your brothers, your friends. You got this boat that -- that you -- for some reason, it makes you happy. I don't know. And you have me. [Chuckles] It's all here waiting for you, however long it takes. You just got to trust it. Trust yourself.

Lulu: Trust myself to do what?

Dante: I think you can remember. You just don't want to.

Well, I cannot invite Carly without inviting her best friend.

A.J.: How's it going?

Elizabeth: Hey.

A.J.: Hey.

Elizabeth: I'm just glad you're here.

A.J.: Why? What's wrong?

Elizabeth: I ran into Carly.

A.J.: Uh, what did Carly have to say?

Elizabeth: Well, it's what she didn't say -- or wouldn't say.

A.J.: What do you mean?

Elizabeth: Well, I just wanted to offer my concern and my sympathy toward the problems she's having with Michael and Morgan, and it -- I don't know. The whole thing just was really weird.

A.J.: [Sighs] Well, you know, it's Carly. I mean, I wouldn't -- I wouldn't make too much of it.

Elizabeth: Yeah, but she thought I was referring to something else. What, I have no idea, but when I asked her about it, she wouldn't explain.

Carly: This is the girl from New York -- the one who roped you into the gambling mess?

Kiki: Call me "Kiki."

Carly: Call a cab. And put some clothes on on your way out the door.

Morgan: Mom! Be nice! Come on.

Carly: Be nice?! For all you know, she is connected to a crime family.

Morgan: Mom --

Carly: Are you kidding me?!

Morgan: -- I'm connected to a crime family, okay? And as much as I'd like to think that Kiki and I share that in common, she's not one of those -- those Jeromes.

Carly: And how do you know that? You're gonna take her word for it after all the trouble she's caused? Really?

Kiki: You know what? It's okay. Your mom can think whatever she wants. Doesn't mean that I have to agree. I'm gonna go grab a shower.

Morgan: All right.

Carly: Really?! How could you let her stay here?

Morgan: Mom, Kiki's my girlfriend, okay?

Carly: I am talking to Michael. I'm talking to Michael!

Morgan: Okay.

Carly: What the hell is that girl doing here?

Michael: She graced us with her presence last night.

Carly: Doesn't she have someone else's door to darken?

Tracy: May I help you, or do I go right to where I call the police and report an intruder?

Ava: Oh, I would have come to the front door. But I was enchanted by the gardens. Couldn't help taking a stroll. This is a lovely place you got yourself here, ms. Quartermaine. Or can I call you "Tracy"?

Tracy: What can I call you?

Ava: Ava -- Ava Jerome, mother of Lauren Jerome. Or should I say Lauren -- Quartermaine?

Morgan: Mom, there's nothing to worry about.

Carly: Oh, really?

Morgan: Yeah. It was all pretty last-minute. I mean, Kiki didn't have a chance to call, so, you know, we figured it would be easier --

Carly: We? You are not old enough to be a "we," Morgan.

Morgan: That's definitely not true.

Carly: Oh, why's that -- because you're having sex now?

Morgan: Oh --

Carly: Did you use protection?

Morgan: Oh, can we not talk about this?

Carly: Oh, we're gonna talk about this. You're meeting girls online and you're bringing them home and you're having sex with them. We are definitely going to have a lengthy conversation. Don't look at your brother, 'cause he's not a part of this "we," although I would think you'd have a little more sense. How the hell could you let her stay here, Michael?

Michael: Because if I didn't, Kiki was gonna go back to New York with Morgan, and I thought you and dad would want them here.

Carly: Morgan's not going back to New York.

Morgan: Okay, haven't we all learned that -- that ultimatums are counterproductive?

Carly: You're not going anywhere until you show me you can make some reasonable choices, okay? And take care of yourself.

Morgan: I get it. I screwed up. You, dad, and Michael were all happy as clams until I came along. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to inconvenience anybody, and I do appreciate the help in New York, seriously, but me and Kiki are adults, okay? If we want to have sex, we're gonna have sex. It's not like we're robbing banks or selling "coffee."

Sam: You got an appointment with your counselor. You're gonna be late.

Rafe: [Sighs]

Sam: Go get ready.

Rafe: Thank you.

Sam: Oh, you're welcome. Go ahead. We don't want to be late. [Sighs]

Alexis: I will take Rafe. You focus on Danny.

Sam: Thank you, mom.

Alexis: You just told Rafe that everything was gonna be okay. You need to believe that, or he won't.

Sam: I know. I'm just afraid that Silas is going to make a liar out of me.

Lucy: [Chuckling] What a treat, everybody. This is the renowned psychiatrist Dr. Kevin -- sorry -- Collins. He is a miracle worker of the mind, and doc -- tor Collins was a-a part of the whole Stephen Clay conflict, because, everybody, some people thought that perhaps he was the father of Stephen Clay's wife, Livvie.

Kevin: This is your new business?!

Lucy: Uh -- but -- but, actually, it was all disproved, along with many assumptions about Stephen Clay -- like he wasn't really a v-vampire and he wasn't really, um, immortal. But he was just a run-of-the-mill psychopath. He was a true murderer, and he is dead and gone, and he is never, ever, ever -- I promise -- coming back.

A.J.: I may be able to shed a little light on this thing with Carly.

Lucy: No! Oh, my God. It's you. Ale announcer] There are many ways

Lulu: So, now you're saying that this is my fault?

Dante: No, that is not what I'm saying.

Lulu: You said that I didn't really want to remember, which implies that --

Dante: Unconsciously. Unconsciously, you don't want to remember. I think if you could remember, of course you would remember, but there's something in you -- in your mind -- that's stopping the process.

Lulu: You talked to a shrink.

Dante: [Chuckles]

Lulu: [Chuckles] And now you're laughing in my face.

Dante: I'm not laughing in your face. I'm laughing at your mind. I like the way it works. It just jumps all over the place. Never mind. Yes, I did talk to a shrink.

Lulu: About me?

Dante: No, about me. Yeah, about you. I'd talk to anyone on this planet who could help you. Just a gentle reminder here -- I am your husband, and I love you.

Lulu: [Groans] What's the shrink's name?

Dante: Dr. Kevin Collins. Really nice guy, very well respected.

Lulu: What did he say?

Dante: He said that -- that if the doctors are saying that it's not a physical thing -- the memory loss -- then it's psychological -- that you're shutting off all these other memories in favor of keeping yourself safe from just one. Look, whatever happened when the Cassadines took you, you don't want to remember it. If you don't want to talk to me about it, will you at least talk to Dr. Collins about it?

Minister: I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Lucy: Okay, everybody! Get behind me! Get behind me! Get behind me!

Kevin: Lucy. Lucy!

Lucy: I will protect you.

From what?

Lucy: From him!

Kevin: Lucy, calm down.

Lucy: No! I cannot clam down! I was right, doc, all along. I was right.

Kevin: Lucy --

Lucy: He is not Stephen Clay! He never was! He is -- he is -- let go! He's --

Silas: Silas. I'm Stephen's brother.

Lucy: No. I never -- I never heard anything about a brother.

Silas: Probably never heard anything about my nana memmo, either, but I'm pretty sure she's real. And so am I. Dr. Silas Clay.

Kevin: New York Methodist?

Silas: Exactly.

Kevin: Oh, uh, Kevin Collins.

Lucy: What? Stop! Don't touch him! Don't -- don't touch him!

Kevin: Lucy.

Lucy: You don't know that that's his real name. Silas Clay could just be something he's making up. It could be some sort of identity he's trying on. You don't know. We need some sort of corroboration.

Sam: Will I do?

Carly: Yes, Morgan. You're an adult. The way you've been acting isn't very responsible.

Morgan: Mom, I love you, okay? But no one in this apartment was exactly responsible at my age.

Carly: Okay, yeah -- Michael and I made some mistakes, but we learned from them.

Morgan: And so will I.

Carly: Really?

Morgan: Yeah.

Carly: Yeah. Are you practicing safe sex? I mean, do you know anything about this girl's history?

Morgan: Can you stop smirking over there?

Michael: Well, I happen to agree with her.

Carly: Seriously. You have to use a condom every single time.

Morgan: Yes.

Carly: Do you know that?

Morgan: Yes. Yes. Okay, safe sex -- always.

Carly: And who the hell is this Kiki girl, anyway -- I mean, besides a possible member of a crime family? Are you sure you can trust her?

Tracy: Jerome? Any relation to the criminal Jeromes?

Ava: Cr-criminal Jeromes?

Tracy: Victor, Julian? Well-known mobsters.

Ava: I'm an art dealer.

Tracy: I suppose that's how you met Franco and allowed him to impregnate you.

Ava: I was young. He was brilliant, already famous. I had no idea he'd turn out to be a psychopath -- or a Quartermaine -- which makes our daughter the proud owner of 6% of ELQ's stock, according to your man Spencer.

Tracy: He told me you didn't want your daughter involved.

Ava: I've revised my position.

Tracy: Have you?

Ava: Lauren doesn't know anything about this. Yet. I can tell her -- guide her vote in one direction or another. It all depends on how much her shares are worth.

Tracy: I don't like being extorted.

Ava: Well, I'm sure your nephew -- A.J., is it? I'm sure he would jump at the chance to show his appreciation, because he knows how much Lauren's support would mean -- to keep you locked out of ELQ. So, will you pass -- or start the bidding? Hey mom, is there a dressing room around here?

Dante: Look, I know you're scared. I'm scared, too. The thought of you being hurt -- this thing that you don't want to remember -- [Sighs] It is killing me. But you can't run away from it for the rest of your life. You have to face it. You'll have an excellent doctor by your side, and you'll have me if you want me.

Lulu: Does this doctor take insurance? Do I even have insurance?

Dante: [Chuckles]

Sam: I met Dr. Clay in New York.

Lucy: Okay. Then what is he doing here now?

Sam: He wanted -- he wanted to see Rafe.

Lucy: Rafe? Well, I trust you have Rafe's best interests in mind.

Silas: As his uncle, how could I want anything else?

Woman: Can we order?

Man: Wait, the whole Stephen Clay experience is a fraud?! Your killer's a phony.

Woman: I want my money back!

Lucy: No, no, no, no. Come on, everybody. March. Follow the flag. Follow the flag. No, no, no. He really was a killer, I promise. Come on! Let's go, people! March! Get your little feet moving. And he really did go down to the catacombs. That's where I'm taking you now -- Spoon Island. Guess what -- for those of you who don't know, catacombs are a limestone formation that were subterranean. Come on! March!

Silas: Nice save. Unexpected but very welcome.

Sam: I didn't do it for you. I didn't think it would be good for anyone if Lucy tried to drive a stake through your heart.

Silas: That sounds painful. Is this your son? Hey. How you doing, buddy? What's your name?

Sam: Wh-what can I help you with, Dr. Clay?

Silas: How's your grocery bills been since Rafe moved in?

Sam: Why? [Chuckling] Do you teach lessons on coupon cutting?

Silas: You have an extra mouth to feed. Let me help.

Tracy: Ava, until I take over ELQ, I am in no position to meet your demands.

Ava: All right, then. I advise you to assume the position. [Chuckles] If I were in a race against my nephew, I'd pull out all the stops to get ahead. But that's just me.

Tracy: How much?

Ava: This is a big house. I'd look under the cushions and see if you can't find a loose mil. And when we meet again, bring your checkbook.

Tracy: Fine. And until then -- you get off my property.

[Door closes]

A.J.: Uh, Stephen Clay's still dead. That's his brother, according to Sam.

Elizabeth: Ohh. Well, that's reassuring. I'd prefer not to believe in vampires. [Chuckles]

A.J.: Yeah, me, too.

Elizabeth: So, now that we're safe from the undead, you were about to tell me something about you and Carly.

Morgan: Mom, I-I appreciate you looking out for me, seriously. But at this point, I know Kiki pretty intimately.

Carly: [Groans]

Morgan: Okay? [Smooches] I love you. Thank you for the doughnuts.

Michael: Mom, I'm sorry I dragged you into all this.

Carly: No, don't you apologize, all right? I know you were only letting Morgan stay here because you don't want me and your dad fighting. I'm sorry he's taking advantage of the situation.

Michael: No, I'm used to Morgan taking advantage. It's his girlfriend I have the problem with.

Carly: Oh, God, do not call her his girlfriend. Kiki. All right, look -- I know this is a huge imposition, but I'd rather Morgan be here than running around New York city. I mean, everyone's gonna know he's Sonny Corinthos' son. He's gonna have a huge target on his back.

Michael: Yeah, I know. I know.

Carly: Be careful, okay? And not just for you and Morgan. I don't trust that girl.

Michael: Don't worry. I don't, either.

[Cell phone rings]

Kiki: Hello?

Ava: Hi. It's mom.

Kiki: Where are you?

Ava: New York. Did you find Morgan?

Kiki: Yeah. I'm fine. I, um -- I'm really glad you convinced me to come to Port Charles.

Ava: Me, too, baby. Me, too.

Sam: What exactly are you saying -- that I can't take care of two kids, that I-I don't have the means?

Silas: Your mom seems kind of defensive. I almost think she doesn't like me.

Sam: Well, why don't you stop talking to my son?

Silas: He doesn't seem to mind.

Sam: Yes, he does, and so do I.

Silas: Okay. I didn't mean to upset you. Actually, I'm trying to make things a little easier.

Sam: What is that?

Silas: It's a copy of the paperwork I just filed. I'm taking Rafe off your hands.

Samantha -- Morgan. Perfect. I think it's time to pay ms. Morgan a visit. [Groans]

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