General Hospital Transcript Thursday 2/28/13

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Provided By Suzanne
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Caleb: You know, you're lucky this is antique, McBain. Otherwise, this could have gotten messy. There's just something about hand-forged steel. You know, it holds an edge better than that factory-sealed stuff.

Sam: Please, don't do this.

Caleb: Oh, don't worry, Sweetheart. This won't take long. You have to trust me sometimes.

Sam: I'm not gonna trust you if you do anything to him.

Caleb: I thought I wanted him around to witness this, but I realize I want this just to be a moment between us. I want us to be alone.

Sam: Just let him go.

Caleb: With this man out of the way, our lives will begin again, and this time, it will be forever. [Sighs]

Lucy: Caleb!

Caleb: [Sighs] [Laughs] Lucy, I've been expecting you!

Lucy: But I bet you weren't expecting this.

[Knock on door]

Michael: I didn't hear anything. Did you?

Starr: No, I did not. [Chuckles]

[Knock on door]

Duke: Michael? Michael, it's Duke Lavery.

Starr: Go get it. Just go get it. It's fine.

Michael: Duke? Hey.

Duke: Hi. I'm sorry to interrupt you, but, uh -- hello.

Starr: Hi.

Duke: I'm here on Quartermaine business.

Monica: Ahh. I didn't know you were still up.

Tracy: You didn't?

Monica: No, I didn't. I just came down to read for a little bit before I went to sleep.

Tracy: Really? Do you expect me to believe that?

Monica: Mm-hmm.

Tracy: The only reason you're down here is to spy on me to see if you can find that key I've been hiding.

Monica: Oh, you mean the one to the padlock on the refrigerator in the pantry that you insisted on having put on without my permission?

Tracy: There's a reason there's a padlock on the refrigerator in the pantry, and that's so that you and your deadbeat son cannot get your hands on my mother's relish.

Michael: Is that --

Duke: It's the last remaining drop of Pickle-Lila, the relish that once saved ELQ. I was hoping to hand it to your father, but I can't find him anywhere.

Olivia: [Crying] Is Steve all right? [Sniffles] Were you able to save him?

Dr. Keats: His wounds are very deep. It was touch-and-go.

Olivia: Oh, God. What are you saying?

Dr. Keats: Steve's in recovery. We are monitoring him very carefully, but his prognosis is good.

Olivia: Ohh! Oh, thank you!

Elizabeth: My brother's gonna be okay.

Rafe: Don't worry, Danny boy. It's gonna be okay. Your mom will be back soon. You'll see. Someone once told me even when things seem at their darkest, you can still see a little bit of light. You just have to believe. Mom?

Caleb: At first, I was hoping for a little privacy, but then I thought, "why don't I just kill everyone -- you know, just get it all over with?" And here you are. You've made it so convenient.

Lucy: No. You cannot hurt anybody anymore, so drop that axe, Caleb, or I drop you.

Michael: I don't believe it. How did you get your hands on this?

Duke: I found it at the Quartermaines'.

Starr: You mean you stole it? Don't worry. I'm not the relish police or anything. You wouldn't believe half of the things that I have done. But I do know that it is for business. You and AJ want to save ELQ, and your Aunt Tracy won't let you. Tighter than Fort Knox.

Duke: That's hands on it.

Michael: What kind of subterfuge?

Duke: Well, I went to Tracy to ask her advice on the relationship between Anna Devane and Luke Spencer. Well, the specifics are not important.

Michael: Tracy wasn't suspicious?

Duke: Well, at first, she was, but she's no idea that I'm working for ELQ, and it's no secret that I want to get Anna Devane back into my life, so she bought my story, and I was able to borrow the key and get to the refrigerator and acquire the pickles.

Michael: And Tracy has no idea that this jar is missing?

Duke: No, she doesn't, but I believe it won't be long until she finds out.

Tracy: I stand before you as the "Keeper of the Last Jar of Pickle-Lila Relish" and the "Best Hope for the Future of ELQ."

Monica: Well, that's quite a title.

Tracy: I don't take it lightly.

Monica: Clearly, except you've forgotten that AJ Is in charge now and you have no power at ELQ.

Tracy: That's just a technicality. When I regain my rightful place as C.E.O. --

Monica: Oh, your rightful place? Tracy, it was your brilliant idea to invest mob money in ELQ. Those illegal activities brought that business right to its knees. Now, when someone wants to restore it, you're going to stand in his way?

Tracy: [Chuckles] And by that "someone," do you mean your miscreant son?

Monica: AJ? Yes, and Michael, too, for that matter, because they want to honor Edward's legacy. And, Tracy, if you wanted to see ELQ restored to its former glory, you would take that relish and have it mass-produced. Come on. Put away your -- your petty resentments and all of that and do the right thing. Go out, get the relish, and hand it to the people that can really do something with it.

Tracy: You are so right. That's exactly what I'm gonna do.

AJ: I'm really glad your brother's gonna be all right.

Elizabeth: Thank you for helping me believe I'd get a miracle.

AJ: Yeah.

Olivia: Well, don't keep me in suspense, Doc. When can I see my fiancé?

Dr. Keats: As soon as he's settled in the I.C.U.

Olivia: Thank you. Thank you so much. [Sniffles]

Elizabeth: [Sighs]

AJ: [Chuckles]

Olivia: Okay. I got to pull myself together. He doesn't need to wake up and see me a big sobbing wreck.

[Elevator bell dings]

Dante: Mom.

Olivia: [Squeals] Oh, thank God you're here!

Dante: Oh, no. I'm so sorry, Mom.

Olivia: What do you mean? Oh, no, Honey. These are happy tears. They just pulled him out of surgery. He's gonna be okay.

Dante: Oh, okay. Well, that's great.

Olivia: Yeah, except for that Heather Webber is still out there running around, doing God knows what.

Dante: No, no, no, no, no. She's not. She's not. Everything's all right. She's in custody.

Olivia: Yeah, but for how long? Every time they lock her up, she manages to escape again.

Dante: Well, not this time. She turned herself in.

Olivia: She what? What in the world would possibly make her do that?

Rafe: Mom, are -- are you really here?

Alison: You see me, don't you?

Rafe: But you're --

Alison: Honey, I may be dead, but I am not gone. I am a part of you, Rafe.

Rafe: I wasn't there. Look, Mom, I am so sorry. You asked me to wait, and I wasn't --

Alison: There was no stopping Caleb.

Rafe: It's my fault you died.

Alison: You cannot blame yourself for what happened, especially now, because I'm so -- I'm so happy. I've finally been reunited with your father. What is it, Rafe?

Rafe: Caleb told me that he's my father. But he can't be, can he?

Caleb: Waiting. Aren't you gonna kill me?

Lucy: That's exactly what I am going to do.

Sam: [Crying] Lucy.

Caleb: Don't worry, Livvie. She can't hurt me.

Lucy: The hell I can't!

Caleb: Interesting choice of words, Lucy.

Lucy: [Chuckles] 'Cause that's where you're going -- straight to hell -- and this time, Caleb, you are gonna stay there.

Caleb: Why? I'm enjoying it right here.

Lucy: Oh, really? Are you having fun kidnapping innocent women, dressing them in your dead wife's wedding dress? Really?!

Caleb: Innocent? Innocent? That's who -- let me ask you something, Lucy. If that isn't Livvie, maybe I'm not a vampire. Maybe you're not a slayer. You ever think of that? 'Cause if you're not a slayer, then, well, you have no special protection against me, no power of righteousness. You have no defense against me at all, do you?

Lucy: I-I do! I-I have to -- this is my defense, right in my hand!

Caleb: What are you gonna do with that little toy?

Lucy: This little toy has a silver-tipped arrow, and once I shoot it and pierce your heart, then you are gonna be out of our misery forever.

Caleb: Misery? I have no idea what you're talking about. Livvie and I are about to be united in everlasting bliss.

Lucy: No! No. You are never, ever going to claim her.

Sam: [Whimpers]

Caleb: I already have.

Lucy: I have been waiting such a long time to say this. Goodbye, Caleb. Ta.

Lucy: [Gasps]

Caleb: Whew! I think it might be time for an upgrade.

Lucy: Lucky -- lucky catch.

McBain: Lucy, get out of here.

Caleb: That's the best you got, pretty boy? "Run for it"?

Lucy: No. No, I am not leaving you and Livvie here. No!

Caleb: See, that's interesting. See, the detective here -- he refers to her as "Sam." But you and I both know better. Isn't that right, Lucy? We know all of this was destined.

Lucy: No. You were never destined to have Sam -- never!

Caleb: I think maybe you're getting a little confused, Lucy. Maybe you want to go on back to that place where you were. What was it called -- Ferncliff? That might be a good place for people that believe in vampires.

Lucy: [Breathing heavily] I guess now you think you've won, huh?

Caleb: Well, let's see -- he's tied up and you don't have any more of these, so it just might be time to say goodbye.

Sam: No.

Dante: I wish I could tell you why Heather turned herself in, but all that matters is she's locked up. She's not gonna hurt anyone.

Olivia: I don't want to talk about Heather anymore, okay? I just want to be there when Steve wakes up, right?

Elizabeth: I'm sure your face is the first he'll want to see.

Dante: I'll go with you.

Olivia: What, you think I can't make it on my own?

Dante: No. It's more like I'm just happy you're in one piece.

Elizabeth: Tell Steven I'll be there in a minute.

Olivia: Okay. You got it.

AJ: [Sighs]

Elizabeth: Some hospital, huh? You come in for treatment, and you end up consoling staff.

AJ: Come on. You thought you were gonna lose your brother.

Elizabeth: But I'm not, 'cause he's gonna be okay.

AJ: Mm-hmm.

Elizabeth: And as awful as tonight was, having you here made all the difference.

AJ: I'm glad I could help.

[Cell phone rings]

AJ: I-I'm sorry. Oh, it's Michael. Um --

Elizabeth: Go. Go.

AJ: Hey, Michael.

Michael: Brace yourself. I've got some good news.

AJ: Good. I can always use some more of that. What's going on?

Michael: Actually, this is something you're gonna want to see. Uh, can you come over to my apartment?

AJ: Uh, yeah, yeah. I'll -- I'll be right over, okay? Bye. Elizabeth, that was Michael. He needs me to come over. He wants to show me something in person.

Elizabeth: Okay. Go. Go see him.

AJ: All right, unless you need me to stay here for anything.

Elizabeth: No, please. Please, go see Michael. You've done enough for me tonight.

AJ: I think it's the least I could do after all the times you've been there for me. Like you said, anytime.

Olivia: Excuse me. That's my fiancé's room -- Dr. Webber. Can I go in and see him?

Attendant: Of course. Go ahead.

[Monitor beeping]

Olivia: [Crying]

Steven: Hey, beautiful.

Michael: AJ's on his way over.

Duke: So, you'll make sure this jar of pickles gets into his hands safely?

Michael: Yeah. I still can't believe you got your hands on this. I mean, Tracy is gonna freak when she finds it missing.

Starr: And you're looking forward to that?

Michael: Well, I'd like all the Quartermaines to work together, of course, but Tracy's the one who refused to compromise.

Starr: It's a shame after your great-grandfather died that you can't all just get along.

Michael: It hasn't been just since great-grandfather died.

Duke: Mm. The Quartermaines have elevated infighting to an art form.

Michael: My great-grandfather's dream was for all of us Quartermaines to run ELQ, like a true dynasty. I mean, he would have been really happy to see Tracy and AJ Working side by side, but --

Starr: You don't think it'll ever change?

Michael: Well, you've met my Aunt Tracy. I mean, what do you think?

Monica: I got to say, I'm really impressed. I never thought you would turn over that relish to AJ.

Tracy: Are you nuts?! Daddy gave that relish to me, and with good reason! He knows that I am gonna use it to save ELQ, and pretty soon, I'm gonna have enough votes to unseat AJ.

Monica: You just said you were going to do the right thing -- you were going to turn over the relish to the people that could do some good with it.

Tracy: Yeah. I'm gonna take it to a lab, have them analyze it, they'll be able to give me the recipe, and I'm gonna be able to mass-produce it.

Monica: Ohh! Why didn't you just say so?

Tracy: You know what? As a matter of fact, I think I better get started on it, because as long as that relish is on the premises, it is easy prey for the vultures, commonly known as my family. Enjoy your book. Good night.

[Door opens]

[Door closes]

Monica: Ohh.

Tracy: Noooooooooooooo!

Tracy: Where is it?!

Monica: Where's what?

Tracy: The relish! It's gone!

Monica: It is?

Tracy: What did you do? Did you have cameras installed so that you could spy on me and see where I hid the key?

Monica: The relish is missing?

Tracy: Oh, my God! Yes, the relish is missing! Give the woman a prize! And if you didn't take it, your son AJ did!

Monica: Does this mean we can use the refrigerator in the pantry now?

Tracy: It has to be AJ. You and I are accounted for, Alice is at a wrestling convention, and the only person who was here other than us was Duke Lavery.

Duke: So, Tracy showed me out, but she had no idea she was also escorting out her last jar of Pickle-Lila.

AJ: It's ours now. This represents the last spoonful of Pickle-Lila in the universe.

Michael: Yeah, and no recipe for producing any more of it.

Duke: Well, if it's any help, I have a fairly sophisticated palate. I could probably taste it and discern some of the contents.

AJ: No, I think if we're gonna save ELQ, we're gonna need the true, original Pickle-Lila relish.

Starr: Maybe I can help.

Steven: Thank God you're all right.

Olivia: Me?

Steven: My mother [Groans] had a knife.

Olivia: Yeah.

Steven: She tried to kill you.

Olivia: Yes. But you threw yourself in front of me. Honey, you saved my life. And you almost lost yours in the process, you know?

Steven: I'm still here.

Olivia: Yes. Thank God. The doctors weren't sure that you were gonna make it. You know that? And I hit my knees. Honey, I started praying like I have not prayed in recent history. Sister Mary Margaret would have been very proud, I'll tell you that. And my prayers worked, because you're gonna be okay.

Steven: Of course I am. I have an angel watching over me.

Rafe: Caleb can't be my father. My father was Rafe Kovich.

Alison: And he was a wonderful man.

Rafe: That's not the same. Caleb's a murderer. He killed you. And he kidnapped this baby and his mother.

Alison: Caleb delights in his own evil.

Rafe: What does he want with me, Mom? Why does he keep telling me that he's my father?

Alison: Because, Rafe -- he is.

Caleb: Look on the bright side, Lucy -- your time as a slayer is coming to an end.

Sam: Please, please, please, please, please stop!

Caleb: Livvie's always been too compassionate for her own good, but in time, she'll realize I'm showing you kindness.

Lucy: Kindness?

Caleb: Kindness. No more trying to convince people that I exist, no more warning them of a danger they don't want to believe, no more looking in the eyes of your loved ones -- all that doubt in their face because they know you've went, "whoo-hoo!" You'll have a peaceful rest, or so I'm told.

McBain: Is it gonna work? You know, the police are on their way.

Caleb: The police aren't coming. You never called them. You're a fugitive.

Lucy: Aaah! Aaaah!

Sam: Please.

Lucy: Aaah! Aaah!

Sam: Stop! Stop!

Lucy: [Sobbing] Okay. O-okay. You're right. You're right. You're right. [Gasps] The police haven't been called. They're not coming, okay? Huh?! [Sobbing]

Caleb: I like you, Lucy -- I always have -- 'cause you're always so level-headed.

Lucy: You can't kill me. You can't kill me, because then you will never, ever get you what you want. [Gasping]

Caleb: I already got what I want.

Lucy: No! I-I-I mean Rafe. You won't get Rafe.

Caleb: Rafe? He's right upstairs! Daniel's right upstairs! Matter of fact, they're probably getting a little tired waiting for us. Time --

Lucy: Aaaaah!

Caleb: Time is so important to young people, so, as much fun as this has been, I think our little game is over.

Lucy: No. No! Aah! No!

McBain: [Grunting]

Lucy: Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Livvie! Okay, listen -- are you okay? Are you okay?

Sam: Where's Danny?

Lucy: Can you get up? Listen to me. You got to get up. I got to get you out. Danny's fine. He's fine.

McBain: [Grunting continues]

Lucy: Come on, Livvie! Come on!

Sam: Caleb! Caleb! Caleb.

Caleb: Livvie! Livvie!

[Knife unsheathes]

Caleb: Ohhh!

Lucy: [Gasping]

Dante: Hey. Uh, yeah. You got an update on McBain or any of the other hostages? All right. Well, keep me posted. Oh, and, uh, you make sure that Heather Webber stays under lock and key. All right.

Elizabeth: Hey.

Olivia: Hey.

Elizabeth: I don't want to interrupt.

Olivia: No, no, no. Not at all. You're not interrupting. I am a -- [Sniffles] I've been crying so much, I know I'm a total mess. I'm gonna go, um -- clean up my face and come back. I'll give you two some time alone, okay?

Elizabeth: [Chuckles softly] You really had us worried there.

Steven: I'm not going anywhere -- not when I've got so much to live for.

Elizabeth: I hope you know I am still holding you to our deal. Hello? Your best man? I am gonna stand up for you. [Chuckles] I don't know what I would have done if things had turned out differently. [Sniffles] I don't say this -- nearly enough, but I hope you know how much I love you -- and how much -- I appreciate everything you do for me and Aiden and Cameron. You're my family. That's the most important thing there is, right?

Tracy: I'm calling the police.

Monica: Oh, oh, come on, Tracy. Come on, now. Don't you think you're overreacting?

Tracy: I am having AJ arrested for theft.

Monica: Of relish?

Tracy: Of extremely valuable personal property!

Monica: On what grounds? You have absolutely no proof that AJ stole anything. In fact, you said there was someone else here tonight -- Duke Lavery.

Tracy: Duke pumped me for information about Luke and Anna.

Monica: Maybe that was just an excuse.

Tracy: Monica, Duke doesn't know that Pickle-Lila relish even exists! This has nothing to do with Duke Lavery!

Duke: Well, how can you help? Are you a gourmet relish chef?

Starr: No, but I am a science geek. I kind of have been my whole life.

Michael: Starr is actually taking the toughest Chem courses at PCU right now.

Starr: And one thing I know how to do is to analyze a sample.

AJ: Well, do you suppose you can analyze the ingredients in Pickle-Lila?

Starr: It's called "reverse engineering." You deconstruct the sample in order to find out the ingredients and the proportions needed in order to --

Michael: And from that, you can reproduce the recipe to create the same product.

Starr: Right.

Duke: You can do that?

Starr: I'm not saying it'll be easy, but I know all the scientific properties that are needed, so it's just a matter of applying them.

AJ: When can you get started?

Rafe: So, that monster is my father? You and he --

Alison: He took advantage of me. Rafe, he may be your biological father, but you and Caleb -- you are nothing alike. You are good. You are caring. You're kind. You, Honey -- you are your father's son -- your true father's son. I want you to promise me you will remember that. Because, Honey, in the end, good always conquers evil.

Rafe: No, Mom. Mom, please! You can't leave me here alone!

Alison: You're not alone, Honey. I love you. Remember that you are not alone.

Lucy: I got you. Oh, my God! Ohh! Ohh! [Gasping] Ohh! Ohh!

Sam: Are you all right?

McBain: Better than he is.

Lucy: Is he -- is he -- is he dead? Is -- is he really dead?

McBain: No pulse. It's over.

Sam: [Gasps]

Dante: Oh, hey.

Olivia: Hey, Honey. Hi.

Dante: I, uh -- I just called the station. Heather's -- Heather's in her cell.

Olivia: Oh, thank God.

Dante: You really had a vision about her stabbing Steve?

Olivia: Yeah, but I didn't see how or where it was gonna happen, so what good was it? That's the problem with these visions. I see them, but I don't have any way to prevent anything from happening, so what's the point?

Dante: Not all of them have been bad visions, right?

Olivia: No. Some of them are sort of hopeful, and they all come through pretty soon after I have them, so -- except the thing with the dog with Maxie. Instead of you Lulu and you having a baby --

Dante: Why are you even talking about that? That's done with. On New Year's Eve, when Maxie tripped over the dog -- everything's fine.

Olivia: Oh. Yeah. That must have been what that was.

Steven: I'm sorry I had everyone so worried.

Elizabeth: Oh, would you stop it already?

Steven: What?

Elizabeth: Only you would be concerned about everyone else while you're lying here, recovering from a near-death experience.

Steven: I was out cold most of the time, and you actually had to deal with everything.

Elizabeth: That's true. This is very true. At least I had a friend to lean on.

Starr: I could start as early as tomorrow morning.

AJ: Okay. Hey, thank you so much. Um -- l-listen, I got to tell you something. For the first time since the financial disaster, I'm really -- I'm feeling good about the future, you know -- not just mine but the future of ELQ, all right? See you guys later.

Duke: You know, reviving ELQ will be good for all of us in more ways than one.

AJ: [Chuckles] Well, none of it would have happened if you hadn't sought out Tracy's advice for the lovelorn.

Duke: Well, let's just put that down to a good day's work, shall we?

AJ: All right. I'll let you know what I need next.

Duke: I'll look forward to your call.

AJ: Just make sure that when you get that call, you're in a quiet place. Duke, listen, I think you probably shouldn't come back to the office -- just for now. Keep your work relationship with ELQ between us.

Tracy: You call me "paranoid"? Why would a man with absolutely no connection to our family business commit an act of espionage?

Monica: Stealing a relish jar hardly qualifies as --

Tracy: Why don't you just admit it, Monica? AJ Took my only inheritance from my father!

Monica: You know, the only one you have to blame for this is yourself.

Tracy: Me?

Monica: If you hadn't acted like a teenage girl hiding her key to her diary, that relish may never have been stolen. In fact, Pickle-Lila may not even have to be needed at all if you hadn't brought ELQ to its knees.

Tracy: Are you through?

Monica: Yes, I am through. I'm now gonna go upstairs and finally read my book.

Tracy: Ohh. Now what?

Monica: You have been the bane of my existence for as many years as I can remember, and I dream about throwing you out in the street.

Tracy: Right back at you.

Monica: But we are family. And I hate to see you tortured by this damn relish thing. So, would you please, please do yourself and all of us a favor and just admit defeat? Please.

Tracy: I will regain my rightful place at ELQ! I will win back everything I lost! You'll see! You'll all see! I'm not dead yet!

McBain: Hey, you okay? How do you feel?

Sam: I feel weak and a little bit dizzy. What about you? I thought you were gonna die.

McBain: You distracted him when you called his name. It gave me a chance.

Sam: It was the only thing I knew to do.

McBain: I'm pretty sure you saved my life.

Sam: Yeah, I'm -- I'm pretty sure you saved mine, too.

Lucy: Did you see what he did? D-did you see how strong he was? He just grabbed that arrow right out of the air. Do you believe me now? Do -- do you believe that he is who I said he is?

McBain: Yeah, he was strong and he was fast. But a vampire? I don't know. Let's see.

Lucy: [Gasping]

McBain: Prosthetic teeth.

Lucy: They're fake?

McBain: Probably used them in his stage show.

Lucy: No. This is just another one of Caleb's tricks. No.

McBain: You said you wanted to call him by his real name, Lucy. His name is Stephen Clay. It's not Caleb Morley.

Lucy: What -- what about his ring? He still has his ring on. That's his power. It makes him immortal.

McBain: No, he's not an immortal. He's a man who lost his mind when his wife died. You ready to go see Danny?

Sam: Yeah.

McBain: Let's go.

Sam: Yeah. We need to go.

McBain: It's okay. It's okay.

Sam: He loved his wife so much. I hope they're together now, in peace.

McBain: You coming?

Lucy: No. I-I-I can't just leave him alone here.

McBain: Okay. I'll call it in to the station when I get upstairs. Lucy -- he's not going anywhere.

Steven: I'm sorry I didn't listen to you about your vision.

Olivia: Ohh. It's not like I provided you with any useful details, so --

Steven: You were worried. [Groans] And so I'm worried -- when you're worried.

Olivia: Mm-hmm.

Steven: So, I'm gonna make -- you another promise.

Olivia: Yeah?

Steven: From now on -- I'm gonna take all your visions seriously.

Olivia: Ohh. Well, I like the sound of that, because I happen to be having one right now.

Steven: Yeah?

Olivia: Yeah. Yeah. And I'm wearing a wedding ring, and look at that -- you're wearing a wedding ring, too. [Laughs]

Steven: You telling me you're having a premonition about our wedding?

Olivia: Well, it's more of a -- it's more of a wish, really. Um -- Honey, after what we just went through, I realize I don't want to spend another day wasting -- wasting away being your fiancée. I want to be your wife. I want to get married right away. [Chuckles]

[Cell phone rings]

Elizabeth: AJ, hey. Is everything okay?

AJ: Uh, yeah. I'm fine. I just wanted to apologize for running off before.

Elizabeth: It's okay. Michael needed you.

AJ: Yeah. So, uh -- so, how's Steve? You see him?

Elizabeth: I did. He's awake and he's talking.

AJ: Ahh. That's great.

Elizabeth: Yeah, tell me about it.

AJ: So, uh, how you holding up?

Elizabeth: Better than I expected. Thank you for asking.

AJ: Hey, remember what we said -- anytime. Uh, okay. Take care.

Elizabeth: Yeah, you too.

Tracy: J'accuse!

AJ: Uh, excuse me?

Tracy: Don't you try to deny it. I know that you stole that relish!

AJ: What, the last of the Pickle-Lila? It's gone?

Tracy: It's gone because you stole it, you low-life thief! You spied on me, saw where I hid the key, you let yourself into the pantry refrigerator, and you took my relish!

AJ: [Laughs]

Tracy: Stop laughing! That was my inheritance!

AJ: Tracy, I swear I didn't steal anything.

Tracy: Do you expect me to believe that you have absolutely no idea where that relish is?

Michael: So, how long do you think it's gonna take for you to reconstruct this relish?

Starr: Well, it all depends on how many ingredients your great-grandmother used.

Michael: Well, it can't be that many. It's just -- I'm not a lab expert, but it's just food.

Starr: How many ingredients do you think are in ice cream?

Michael: Like four.

Starr: Four?

Michael: It's got eggs, cream, sugar, and vanilla.

Starr: Vanilla extract, salt, corn syrup, alkalized cocoa.

Michael: Okay, I got it.

Starr: You got some maltodextrin, some dextrose.

Michael: Starr, I-I got it. You're a genius. Okay.

Starr: [Laughs] It says on the label. You can read it right there.

Michael: Okay.

Starr: You can call me a genius as soon as I find out whatever's in that Pickle-Lila.

AJ: I don't care what you believe.

Tracy: Ha! You do have it!

AJ: I don't have anything, and even if I did, good luck proving it.

Tracy: Wait a minute. Port Charles, New York. Duke Lavery.

[Cell phone ringing]

Duke: "Caller unknown"?

[Ringing continues]

Sam: [Gasps]

McBain: There he is.

Sam: [Gasps]

McBain: How are you guys doing?

Rafe: We're good.

Sam: Oh, Danny. Hi, baby!

Rafe: Who is that?

Sam: Hi! Ohh. Mommy is so sorry. I will never, ever leave you again. I promise. [Smooches] Thank you so much for keeping him safe. Thank you.

Rafe: Anytime.

Sam: [Smooches]

Rafe: Where's Lucy?

McBain: She'll be up in a minute.

Rafe: And, uh, what about Caleb or Stephen -- whatever his name is?

McBain: You're safe. It's over.

Rafe: What happened -- to my father?

McBain: He's dead.

Lucy: I don't understand any of this. S-Stephen Clay was an alias, a lie. You are Caleb Morley, King of the Vampires. So -- why did you need these? Why? Unless -- unless you supposed death is the biggest lie of all, unless -- oh, my God, this is just a game, and you want us to think that we won, isn't it?! You're counting on the ring. You're counting on that ring because it gives you power and it makes you immortal! If you didn't have that ring, then you would really, truly be dead. I'm taking it. [Gasping] I-I'm -- I'm taking the ring, and I am going to melt it down so it can't do any more damage. I am gonna take it off of you and -- [Crying] Ohh. It won't come off. Come on! Ugh! Okay, fine. Then I'm gonna cut it off of you! I am going -- I'm gonna take the axe, and I'm gonna whack -- [Crying] Oh, God! Oh, what am I saying?! That is crazy! You were cra -- you were crazy! I'm not -- [Crying] I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I am -- I'm done, okay?! I'm done! I'm not giving you one more day of my life! This is over! It ends now! I have people who love me -- at least, I hope they still love me -- and I am going back [Sniffles] to them. [Gasping] Oh. Oh, yeah. You know something? You were right about one thing. My time as a slayer is finished.

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