General Hospital Transcript Wednesday 1/16/13

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Provided By Suzanne

[Water running]

Carly: [Groans]

[Water stops]

Carly: What the hell? I'm in Todd's room? I'm in Todd's bed.

Todd: Where the hell have you been?

Diane: And a gracious good morning to you.

Todd: Enough with the "told you sos." How you gonna get me out of here?

Carly: [Sighs] God. [Sighs] Todd made bail and I was stupid enough to sleep with him? [Sighs] Great.

A.J.: No. But you were stupid enough to sleep with me.

Monica: A.J., uh, it's your mother, and I've been worried. You did not come home last night. So, please give me a call when you get this. Thanks.

Tracy: I'm sure he was out drinking himself blind after he failed to get ELQ out from under me. It's a beautiful morning, isn't it?

Anna: I'm gonna just check in with my staff, and then I'll drive you over to the Metro Court. You can get all settled in, you know.

Duke: I'm sure you got a lot of catching up to do.

Anna: Yes, I do. Bet a lot's happened while I was in Switzerland. Before that, I was pretty preoccupied.

Duke: [Chuckles] That's a bit of an understatement, isn't it?

Anna: Yeah.

Duke: I mean, I can't imagine you thought you found me alive and then discovered it was Faison. And lo and behold, here I am.

Anna: Well, and it can't be easy for you being back in Port Charles, I'm sure.

Duke: Well, it'll take me some time to adjust, get back to normal. Same for you, I think.

[Knock on door]

Anna: Yes? Come in.

Commissioner, welcome back.

Anna: Oh, thank you. Hi. Um, can you send in McBain and Falconeri, please?

Detective Falconeri left for turkey.

Anna: Oh, that's right. Yeah. He's gone to help Luke. Well, uh, McBain, is he on call or something?

Actually, he's in the hospital.

Felicia: Have I mentioned how much I have missed this?

Mac: [Chuckles] Kelly's French toast definitely makes life worth living.

Felicia: Mm-hmm. Well, not just that, but just being out in the world. I've been sick for so many weeks. I feel like I've missed so much.

Mac: Lucy's triumphant return.

Felicia: Hmm. I can't wait to see her.

Mac: She's exactly the same. You know, she enters a room and expects everyone to take notice.

Felicia: Well, at least she keeps things exciting. I hope she was able to work things out with her finances.

Shawn: Hey, I couldn't help overhearing. You guys know Lucy Coe?

Felicia: Oh, yeah. She's a good friend of mine. Why?

Shawn: Uh, she tried to murder a cop here last night.

Felicia: What?

Lucy: [Gasping]

Lucy: If you ever touch her again --

Caleb: You'll what? You'll try and kill me? You already have. Twice now. Now it's my turn to return the favor.

Lucy: [Gasps] [Breathing heavily]

[Monitor beeping]

Sam: Hey. Welcome back to the land of the living.

Anna: Someone stabbed John with a wooden stake? Who -- do you know who did this?

We have her in lockup now. Some woman by the name of Lucy Coe.

Duke: Lucy Coe?

Anna: Lucy Coe. I didn't know she was back in town.

Duke: Well, I had no idea she'd even left.

Anna: Why would she stab a police detective that she doesn't even know?

Mac: There's got to be some kind of mistake. I mean, Lucy can be flighty, but she's not dangerous.

Felicia: Lucy would never attack a cop.

Alexis: Really? That's exactly what she did.

Felicia: [Gasps]

Mac: Wait a minute. "CoeCoe goes cuckoo"?

Alexis: You know, John was seriously hurt. If Shawn didn't stop her, she could have killed him.

Felicia: My goodness. I mean, this -- this just doesn't make any sense. I mean, Lucy's a lot of things, but a killer? And even a cop killer? This is not the Lucy Coe that I know.

Lucy: Guard! Guard! Guard, please, tell me, have -- have you arrested him yet?

Who?

Lucy: Who?! Caleb mor-- John McBain. Listen to me. He is so dangerous. You have got to arrest him. He is a homicidal maniac.

Lady, you're the only maniac around here.

Lucy: No, wait! Please listen to me! He is dangerous! He's seductive! He will not stop till he destroys this whole town! Listen to me!

Felix: Lucy was a diva, a Goddess. But I guess the collapse of her company was too much for her.

Sabrina: Well, I'm sure Lucy will find the help she needs. Just wish I could say the same for the Nurses' Ball.

Todd: Look, I know you told me to not try and escape, and I know I did. My question is, what are you gonna do about it now?

Diane: I think you've mistaken me for your fairy Godmother.

Todd: Not with your hourly rate, no.

Diane: Because I can't just wave my magic wand and make the charges disappear.

Todd: I was so close to Fiji. If you'd just done what I told you and helped me.

Diane: Yes. You are mistaking defending criminals for me becoming one myself. You think I could afford my hourly rate?

Todd: The only reason I'm here is because of John McBain and his new squeeze, Sam.

McBain: How long you been here?

Sam: Since they brought you in last night.

McBain: It's morning?

Sam: It's morning. No, no, no, no. Hold on. Where do you think you're going? Hey, hey, hey.

McBain: I got to call the station.

Sam: Sit back. You don't have to worry about that. They know exactly where you are.

McBain: Where you going?

Sam: Me? I am going to bring a little of the outside world in to you. There you go.

McBain: Isn't sunlight supposed to be bad for, uh --

Sam: Vampires?

McBain: I thought it was a dream.

[Monitor beeping]

McBain: Some crazy lady tried to drive a stake through my heart. But then --

Sam: Yeah. That happened.

Tracy: I have to admit A.J. Put up a very good fight. He should be very proud of how close he came.

Monica: I'll make sure to pass that along to him.

Tracy: But Lucy is an intelligent woman. What choice did she have but to side with me?

Monica: You made her an offer she couldn't refuse. Co-C.E.O. Of ELQ?

Tracy: She's an experienced businesswoman.

Monica: Lucy Coe, gold-digging dingbat is helping ELQ? Tracy, are you deliberately trying to destroy this family?

Carly: Oh, God, this is so much worse than sleeping with Todd.

A.J.: Come on, honey. What's the matter? You afraid we made another baby?

Carly: Oh, shut up. Shut up. God, the room is spinning.

A.J.: Oh, man, I remember that.

Carly: Okay, what the hell happened last night? What happened?

A.J.: What didn't happen? You want me to draw you a picture?

Carly: I'm gonna throw up. [Groans] Okay. No. All right. Uh... I went to the Floating Rib, and you were there. [Sighs] You were there with Connie, and you were drinking vodka because you always drink vodka.

A.J.: No, I wasn't drinking vodka. You were drinking vodka. By the way, I-I definitely wouldn't have any of the hair of the dog. That might not be such a good idea for you.

Carly: I was talking to Coleman. I was talking to Coleman about Jason, and -- and Sonny walked in, and -- and then Connie left with Sonny. [Sighs] And then it was just you and me.

A.J.: Mm-hmm.

Carly: All right. I went to leave, but you took my keys.

A.J.: Well, I couldn't let you drink and drive.

Carly: I wasn't gonna drive. I was gonna walk back to the hotel.

A.J.: Hey, you're the one that insisted on coming back to the hotel. I wanted to take you home. You wanted to get even with Manning.

Carly: By sleeping with you?

Monica: You just handed the reins of ELQ to Lucy Coe!

Tracy: It's the only way I could keep control of the company, Monica.

Monica: Well, I hope you enjoy that control because it isn't gonna last very long.

Tracy: Monica, you're always so negative. But I can't blame you with a son like A.J. Nothing but a continual disappointment.

Monica: At least he didn't gift-wrap ELQ and hand it to an interloper.

Tracy: It's called canny maneuvering, Monica. And now that I have cemented control of ELQ, nothing can stop me. All that's left now is to announce my triumph to the world.

Monica: Oh. Flying monkeys aren't available?

Tracy: What the social media lacks in drama it makes up in speed. "Thrilled with my choice of "Coe"-C.E.O. Of ELQ. You will be, too."

A.J.: So, you really don't remember what happened last night, do you?

Carly: No. No. And it's a blessing, you know. Trying to figure out how I'm gonna explain this to Michael, let alone to myself.

A.J.: So does that mean there's not gonna be any spooning?

Carly: Oh, get away.

A.J.: Relax. We didn't sleep together. You were about to pass out, and I figured the bed was better than the couch.

Carly: Why are you still here?

A.J.: Uh, self-preservation. I figured if anyone saw us coming in together, the last thing I needed was you taking a header off the balcony.

Carly: You trying to protect me from myself?

A.J.: Well, it did seem like a good idea at the time.

Carly: Why? What did I do that made you so afraid?

A.J.: What did -- does this look familiar? See?

Diane: I guess it's just your bad luck that someone mistook John McBain for a vampire last night.

Todd: I know, right?

Diane: [Chuckles]

Todd: You know, it's almost worth it being here like this seeing John McBain with that stake of wood in his chest.

Diane: Yes, but you have to admit it's rather unsettling, people still believe those things. Covens of the damned, creatures of the night, true blood. [Chuckling] I mean, it's sort of ridiculous.

Felix: Girl, do not give up yet. There's still a chance that Lucy can help us.

Sabrina: How? She's in jail, and it doesn't look like she's getting out anytime soon, not after trying to kill a detective.

McBain: Who'd that woman think I was again?

Sam: Caleb.

McBain: Caleb.

Sam: Caleb. [Laughs]

McBain: King of the vampires.

Sam: King of the vampires. And I was Livvie, I think she said.

McBain: Livvie?

Sam: Yeah.

McBain: I was trying to make you a vampire, too.

Sam: It's pretty scary. Although --

McBain: Although, what?

Sam: I mean, it would explain the feeling that we had when we first met where we thought we knew each other from before.

McBain: Yeah, we never did figure that out, did we?

Sam: Mnh-mnh.

McBain: You think this is it?

Sam: It's possible. Come on. You know how that story goes. Two souls connect. The one who can't die waits centuries for the other to be reborn.

McBain: And just when he lays eyes on her again -- bam, stake through the heart.

Sam: That would be pretty sad.

McBain: Although if I, um, if I was a vampire, wouldn't I have, you know, combusted right on the spot? Isn't that what she said?

Sam: I guess so, so I guess you are not Caleb, the king of all vampires. I mean, but it -- it still doesn't explain -- the connection that we feel.

Anna: So, um, I'm gonna go and check on John and make sure that he's all right.

Duke: Okay. I'll be fine. I'll find my way back to the hotel.

Anna: You can use the phone. You could call a cab. Um, you know, here. That should -- [Chuckles]

Duke: Okay, I'll figure out how to use that and I'll call a cab and -- I'll see you later?

Anna: Yeah.

[Door closes]

Felicia: Where's Lucy now?

Alexis: She's in lockup at the police station.

Felicia: I need to go see her.

Mac: Okay.

Alexis: Felicia, are you sure you want to do that?

Felicia: Oh, yeah. She's an old friend of mine. I need to hear her side of the story.

Lucy: Anybody out there, will you please listen?! The undead, they're walking among us, especially here!

[Door closes]

Lucy: You know that detective? Well, he's not your detective! He happens to be king of the vampires! We have to stop him!

Duke: Can I help you?

Lucy: Oh, my goodness. Duke? Duke Lavery.

Duke: Yes, I was passing and I heard you calling.

Lucy: It's so good to see you. No one in here will believe me.

Duke: Lucy, what can I do for you?

Lucy: Okay, first, listen, you have to be really, really careful because he works here.

Duke: Who works here?

Lucy: There's a man that I knew a long time ago, and I happened to see him, and I realized who he was, and he's very dangerous. He's infiltrate -- [Gasps] Wait a minute. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no. You're not Duke. So... [Gasps]

Carly: [Sighs] [Groans] I did all this?

A.J.: Yeah.

Carly: I cut up his clothes and his suits?

A.J.: His cashmere socks.

Carly: Pretty good. [Chuckles]

A.J.: I mean, I got to tell you, I thought it was impressive.

Carly: Childish, too. Yeah. Therapists would probably say that it was healthy, but --

A.J.: [Chuckles]

Carly: So, I ruined Todd's clothes. You know, not so bad, right? I mean, could have done something to hurt Todd. Hell, I could have done something to myself. Certainly done that before. [Chuckles]

A.J.: Uh, Carly --

Carly: What?

A.J.: Um, the cashmere socks and -- and, you know, all of -- all of this stuff here, uh, that's not the only stuff you shredded.

Carly: No. Oh, God. Did I -- did I cut up his cash or his credit cards?

A.J.: Uh, no. Uh, no, it wasn't that.

Carly: Whatever. You know what? I-I'm gonna take a shower 'cause I smell like a saloon. And whatever happened to Todd, Todd deserves. So I don't care.

A.J.: Four, three, two --

Carly: Oh, my God!

Tracy: "Please join me and welcome Lucy Coe." Perfect. Now, post it. Done. Calls for celebration. I'm gonna get a bottle of our best champagne. Can I get you ginger ale? What do you say, Monica? You gonna celebrate with me the success of ELQ?

Monica: Well, I wouldn't hold my breath here, Tracy.

Tracy: Okay. What are you talking about now, Monica?

Monica: I think maybe it's time to show you this.

Tracy: "CoeCoe goes cuckoo"?

Monica: I don't think your new C.E.O. Is going to be sipping champagne anytime soon.

Alexis: When was the last time you saw Lucy?

Mac: Yesterday at the Floating Rib. I mean, she seemed fine. Still Lucy, but not like she about to fly into a homicidal rage.

Alexis: Did she mention anything about vampires?

Mac: No. No. She was there meeting Tracy Quartermaine. They were talking business, not the curse of the undead.

Shawn: Something must have happened to convince her that John McBain was really Caleb Morley.

Mac: McBain? He's the vampire king?

Alexis: Well, according to Lucy. You should have seen her. She was completely unhinged.

Mac: Sounds like Lucy needs some serious help.

Alexis: And I know just the person to provide it.

Duke: Lucy, I understand you'll be confused, but I'm not Cesar Faison.

Lucy: Faison? Why -- why would I think you were him?

Duke: Well, you didn't think I was Duke Lavery.

Lucy: You're not Duke Lavery! Duke is dead, may he rest in peace. You're Joshua temple.

Duke: Who is Joshua temple?

Lucy: Caleb's assistant. He's one of them. You're one of them! You're one of the undead!

Duke: In a manner of speaking, you may --

Lucy: Guard! Guard, you have left me alone in here with a vampire!

Duke: Lucy, I was -- I was never dead.

Lucy: Everything is metal in here!

Duke: Lucy, I am Duke Lavery. I am your friend.

Lucy: You're not my friend. You'll never be my friend! You're not my friend!

Felicia: Lucy. Lucy. I came as soon as I heard you were arrested.

Lucy: Oh, my God. Thank God. Listen to me. You've got to get away from him. Get away from him, please!

Felicia: You mean Duke?

Lucy: He's not Duke! That's not his name!

Duke: I can assure you I am Duke. I can understand the confusion, but I am Duke.

Felicia: Well, I'm not confused. Anna called, and Mac told us the whole story. I'm -- I'm actually glad to see you after all these years. It's nice to see you. Welcome home.

Duke: Thank you, Felicia. It's great to see you. You haven't changed. You're gorgeous. You're generous. You're as welcome as --

Lucy: Wait, wait, wait. Okay, so you -- you really believe he's -- you think he's Duke?

Felicia: He is Duke. I promise you.

Lucy: All -- all right. Well, then in my defense, he looks exactly like a vampire. I-I just don't understand why I didn't see the resemblance at the time.

Felicia: At the time? What are you talking about? Alexis said that you attacked a police detective with a wooden stake.

Lucy: I did! I had no choice! And it's not a police detective! He's not John McBain. His name is Caleb Morley.

Felicia: Oh, now, slow down just a second. When did you start believing in vampires?

Lucy: [Sighs] Felicia, I-I-I really wanted to tell you. I really did before. It's just I didn't want to worry you.

Felicia: Well, guess what? We're worried.

Lucy: Okay, just listen. Stay with me. Uh -- about 10 years ago I-I-in town, th-this band showed up. Uh, uh, demons, and they -- they started pretending to be a rock band and -- and a rock star and take over the town and seduce everybody with glamour and lights and fun.

McBain: So, what do you think? Reincarnation? Vampires? Past-life connection? Which one is --

Sam: I actually don't believe in any of those, but I'll play along. If I had to choose, I would say past-life connection.

McBain: Hmm. I don't know about getting business done in a previous life, but I know there's some stuff I'd like to get done in this one.

Sam: No, don't tell me you're thinking about work already.

McBain: Just one crook in particular.

Sam: You don't have to worry. You can relax. Todd Manning is in custody.

McBain: You caught him?

Sam: I did. I-I got him trying to escape out the E.R. doors. I could have strangled him. I really could have. But I'll settle for him being chained to a hospital bed.

McBain: You're not enjoying that as much as you should.

Sam: Listen, it's -- it's not enough that he's bee arrested. I want Todd to pay for what he's done.

McBain: Hmm. You, uh -- you want to go and check on him again, make sure he hasn't weaseled his way out?

Sam: I don't want to leave you.

McBain: [Chuckles] I'm fine. I'll probably rest easier knowing that Manning is where he should be.

Todd: Maybe there are advantages to doing this the legal way. No outstanding warrants, right? Don't have to move money off shore. Maybe I should stick around for a little while and try and patch things up with Carly and Starr.

Diane: All of which I tried to tell you last night.

Todd: Mm-hmm. You do so love to be right.

Diane: Mm-hmm.

Todd: You know, you said you could beat this case against me. Prove yourself right again.

Diane: The initial case, no question. That simply amounts to your word against the word of two career criminals, both of whom are in the employ of a triple murderer.

Todd: Slam dunk.

Diane: Slam dunk. That was before detective McBain got a recording of you trying to bribe him and before you tried to flee police custody. Both of those are criminal acts in and of themselves, and they lend credence to the kidnapping charge.

Todd: Yeah, but I didn't kidnap that kid.

Felix: Look, Tracy Quartermaine's check clears, that means half the mission is accomplished. This ball is happening whether Lucy's there or not.

Sabrina: Yeah, but we still have to find a venue. We have to recruit acts. We have to publicize the event so that people actually show up. I mean, there's a million things that we need to do.

Felix: Excuse me. Who are you? And what happened to Sabrina Santiago, the woman who was gonna single-handedly revive the Nurses' Ball?

Sabrina: Look, I want the ball to happen, okay? I just -- I don't know if I can participate, not if Dr. Drake's working on it, too.

Sam: Okay. All right. Give Danny a big kiss for me. All right. I'll talk to you later, okay?

Diane: The D.A. Thinks you are a flight risk. That's why he wants to push your arraignment A.S.A.P.

Todd: So what? That's how you like things. You're under pressure.

Diane: [Chuckles] Well, while I appreciate your confidence in my skills, even I am daunted by the extent of these charges. Fortunately, I'm the only one who still knows that you spent the last few months trying to cover up that DNA test which proves that Jason actually is the father of baby Daniel.

Sam: You son of a bitch.

Monica: Fascinating article, isn't it? I really like the part where Lucy said it couldn't be a crime if the victim wasn't human.

Tracy: You did this on purpose, Monica.

Monica: Well, I have no control if Todd Manning wants to put whatever in his newspaper.

Tracy: You knew that she had suffered a psychotic break.

Monica: No, her condition has not yet been diagnosed.

Tracy: She tried to kill a detective by putting a stake in his heart!

Monica: Yeah.

Tracy: You didn't think I needed to know that before I made my announcement? Oh, my God. My announcement. I have to get it back. Where's the "recall" button?

Monica: Maybe by the "count your chickens before they're hatched" button.

Tracy: [Sighs] This can't be. What am I gonna do?

Monica: Well, I can only suggest what Edward used to say. "You lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas."

Tracy: And how about that old chestnut "put a sock in it, Monica."

Carly: A.J.!

A.J.: Take it easy.

Carly: Son of a bitch! You did this to me!

A.J.: Don't get snippy.

Carly: No, this is why you hung out! You wanted to see my reaction!

A.J.: [Chuckling] Wait a second. You did this. I didn't do it.

Carly: You're gonna tell me that I chopped my own hair off?

A.J.: Yeah, you did. You were all drunk and sad and weepy and you were talking about how you wanted to change yourself. Is this coming back to you?

Carly: I did. [Sighs] I did. I said I just wanted to be different and I wanted all the pain and the mistakes to be gone.

A.J.: Look, look at the bright side. Now you can, uh, have a really strong reminder not to drink and snip.

Carly: Next time I cut somebody's clothes, they're gonna be yours, and I hope you're still in them.

A.J.: Oh, hello? And how about thanking me for saving you last night?

Carly: Oh, my God. You've done one thing I'm grateful for, ever, and you know what? You didn't even mean to do it.

A.J.: Michael. Best mistake we ever made.

Carly: Leave. Please.

A.J.: You, uh, you gonna be okay? You're not gonna do anything else stupid?

Carly: Really?

A.J.: Good point.

Carly: Yeah.

A.J.: Drink. Okay, then. Um...yeah. You know, Carly, if it's any consolation, last night sucked for me, too.

[Door closes]

Todd: You can't just barge in here. I'm having a conversation with my attorney.

Sam: And I finally have the truth.

[Cell phone rings]

Sam: You knew that Danny was Jason's all along.

Todd: You better not answer that.

Diane: I have to answer it. It's the courthouse. Diane Miller. Mm-hmm.

Sam: That's what you were hiding in your safe, the DNA test that magically appeared after Jason was lost.

Todd: You know what? I can hear that you're angry.

Sam: Mm-hmm.

Todd: I just, I feel that your anger's a little misplaced.

Sam: Misplaced? Are you kidding me?

Diane: Mr. Manning, we have been over this before, but it obviously bears repeating. You have nothing to say without your attorney present.

Todd: But you're my attorney and you're present.

Diane: Not for long. That was about your arraignment.

Sam: Oh, good. That can't happen soon enough.

Diane: I'll send security up on my way out.

Todd: No, come on. You don't need to do that.

Diane: I'm not leaving a client alone with his accuser.

Todd: It's gonna be fine.

Diane: Don't make me say "I told you so."

Todd: Does it make you any happier seeing me here like this?

Sam: What do you mean? Completely helpless? Unable to defend yourself just like my son?

Todd: I never hurt your son.

Sam: You gave him to your ex-wife.

Todd: Well -- yeah.

Sam: Yeah. It's your fault that Jason never knew that Danny was his son.

Todd: Yeah, but it's not like that even mattered.

Sam: What are you talking about like it didn't matter?

Todd: Carly told me that Jason loved that kid regardless.

Sam: Wait a minute. You had a conversation with Carly about this?

Todd: Don't misunderstand me. Carly did not know about my alleged possession of the alleged --

Sam: Alleged possession?! You think it satisfies me seeing you in this hospital bed?! You think again!

Felix: You managed to revive the Nurses' Ball 12 years after it flat-lined. And now you want to bail because you got a broken heart?

Sabrina: I don't want to make Dr. Drake uncomfortable.

Felix: [Chuckles] Yeah. All those hot, sweaty nights looking at seating charts.

Sabrina: Look, it -- it's not what we'll be doing. It's that we'll be doing it together.

Felix: Hmm.

Sabrina: So to speak, okay? Listen, everything's just different now that he thinks that I've been inappropriate with him.

Felix: You're overreacting. If I had to lay odds, I'd say it's not over between you two.

Sabrina: Felix, would you please just stop?

Felix: But even if it is, this is bigger than both of you. This is about aids research. It's about making people's lives better.

Sabrina: I know, but I just, I can't --

Felix: No buts. The ball needs you, Sabrina. If you ain't 100% on board, it ain't gonna happen.

Sabrina: You're right. It doesn't matter how Dr. Drake feels about me or how I feel about him. The ball is what matters, and I'm on board 100%. I just need to start thinking like Lucy.

Felix: Minus the vampire thing, right? [Clears throat]

Sabrina: That was so weird.

Felix: Creepy.

Sabrina: Oh, my God.

Alexis: Look, Lucy needs help, and the only person to do that is her husband.

Mac: Kevin Collins. He's a psychiatrist.

Shawn: Alexis was gonna call him last night. Lucy said he couldn't help her.

Alexis: Well, Lucy clearly isn't in her right mind. She wouldn't know what was best for her if --

Shawn: If it bit her in the neck?

Alexis: Okay, that's it. I'm ignoring you. Let me see if I can find his number. I hope I have the right number.

Mac: Wait, I've got Kevin's contact. Here. Is that the number you want?

Alexis: Yep. That's it. When I first came to Port Charles, Kevin was the first client I had, and I knew there was something more to his situation than what the facts presented. And maybe there's something more to Lucy's situation, too.

McBain: Johnny Zacchara confessed to causing the accident that killed Starr Manning's family.

Anna: Okay.

McBain: He then produced two witnesses that saw Todd Manning switch Sam's baby.

Anna: A lot's happened here while I've been away.

McBain: Hmm.

Anna: [Sighs]

McBain: How's Robert?

Anna: Yeah, there's -- there's no change. He hasn't, you know, come to at all. But his ex-wife is with him, so -- um, and I heard from Luke.

McBain: Okay.

Anna: He's still in a Turkish prison. You all right?

McBain: Yeah. No, Dante mentioned something about that.

Anna: Yeah, he and Lulu were going out there to try and get him out. But I haven't heard from them yet, so --

McBain: What about Duke? Where is he?

Anna: He's here. Yeah, um -- yeah, that was the high point of the journey, really, finding Duke. Yeah, so -- now he's back here in Port Charles.

McBain: Why don't you seem happy about that?

Felicia: Mac has been the police commissioner for the past decade. Don't you think he would notice if there were creatures of the night roaming streets?

Lucy: Of course, but he was hypnotized.

Duke: Hypnotized?

Lucy: Yes. Caleb has this ability to mesmerize everyone to -- to make them forget everything.

Felicia: But you remember.

Lucy: Yeah. Because I'm the slayer.

Duke: [Sighs] I'm not following this.

Lucy: I'm a vampire slayer. My job is to kill Caleb, and I failed, so now he's out there on the loose and I am locked up in here. Please, you have to help me get out of here, and you have to please believe me. Imagine facing the day with less chronic osteoarthritis pain.

Todd: You gonna kill me?

Sam: No. I'm not gonna do anything that would take me away from my son. I've already spent too much time without him. I know the truth. The whole truth. So will everyone else. You are gonna lose everything if you haven't already.

Carly: [Sighs]

Monica: Please give me a -- oh! Thank God! I have been so worried about you!

A.J.: You think I'm a little old for a curfew?

Monica: Well, I just, I know how upset you were about ELQ.

A.J.: Because Lucy threw her support behind Tracy? I'll get over it.

Monica: Oh. [Sighs] Do I smell alcohol?

A.J.: Oh, uh, yeah. Carly spilled a drink on me.

Monica: Carly?

A.J.: Yeah.

Monica: Is that where you have been? Did you spend the night with Carly?

A.J.: It's not what you think, believe me. Mom, what the hell is this?

Monica: Well, apparently Lucy Coe has gone stark-raving mad.

Alexis: Hi. Kevin, this is Alexis Davis. Uh, your wife is -- is in Port Charles. She's having some trouble, so could you give me a call as soon as you get this message? Thanks.

Shawn: Now all we have to do is wait for him to call back.

Mac: Maybe we should try to track down Lucy's kids.

Alexis: Actually, I have more of an immediate plan.

Anna: I am happy about Duke, of course. You know, it's -- after the insanity with Faison, the mere fact that he's alive is -- is a miracle.

McBain: You trying to convince me or yourself?

Anna: Both.

McBain: Hmm.

Anna: We've been through all these feelings -- but with an impostor. And now every time I look at Duke, I just see Faison.

McBain: Well, I guess that's natural.

Anna: It doesn't feel natural. It feels -- awful. Anyway, I'll -- I'll work through it, obviously.

McBain: I know you will.

Anna: I got to get back to work.

McBain: Yeah. Hey, listen, I'm gonna be back at work within the week.

Anna: All right. Yeah, well, you get a doctor's note. R&r for you, okay?

McBain: Okay.

Anna: And don't order the steak.

McBain: [Fake laugh] Ow, ooh, that hurts worse than your joke.

Anna: It's the best I could do. I'm jet-lagged.

Lucy: Okay, listen, I know this is way out there and extreme. But sometimes if you're really a friend, you have to take a leap of faith. So, I'm asking you, could you trust me?

Felicia: I just want to know how I can help you.

Lucy: Okay. It's very simple. All you have to do is finish what I started. I'm Jennifer Hudson.

[Knock on door]

Carly: If you're looking for Todd, he's at the county jail.

Felix: Actually, I'm here to talk to you. Carly Jacks, right?

Carly: How'd you know I was here?

Felix: I'm, um, I'm acquainted with one of the bellboys. He told me he saw you here last night.

Carly: Really? You wouldn't want to give me the name of this bellboy, huh?

Felix: That's not important. I'm -- I'm here because I want to talk to you about booking the Metro Court ballroom.

Carly: Not a good time.

Felix: No time like the present. Oh, good lord. What happened to your hair, girlfriend?

[Door opens]

Todd: Some lawyer you are.

Diane: Oh, I told you so.

Todd: Sam was ready to kill me, and she stopped herself because she wants me to lose everything that matters to me. Why would you leave me alone with her?

[Monitor beeping]

McBain: It's okay. I'm awake.

Sam: You're not supposed to be.

McBain: Is Manning safely tucked away?

Sam: Yes.

McBain: That's good news. Isn't it?

Sam: It's just, I-I thought I would get satisfaction out of knowing he'll pay for what he did to me and my son, but it turns out that Todd is an even lower human being than I could have realized.

Diane: You specifically told me it was okay for me to leave you alone with her.

Todd: Oh, so what? Since when do you listen to what I have to say? And you know what? None of this would have happened if you hadn't opened your big mouth about me hiding evidence.

Diane: The DNA test is t evidence, per se.

Todd: Well, Sam disagrees.

Diane: Well, fortunately, Sam is not your lawyer.

Todd: You are. Look, I'm paying you to defend me. Defend me.

Diane: Fine. You are about to witness my technique first hand. I have two guards outside waiting to escort you to court.

Felicia: You want us to kill John McBain?

Lucy: Yes. His name is not John McBain. It's Caleb Morley. Listen, all you have to do is get something wooden, and it has to be really sharp, and you've got to pierce his heart because apparently I failed. I should have done better.

Felicia: We are not going to stake anyone, Lucy.

Lucy: You just told me you wanted to help.

Felicia: Well, I will -- by standing by you at your arraignment.

Lucy: [Sighs]

Duke: Felicia, could I -- could I talk to you for a moment?

Felicia: Oh, sure.

Duke: I -- I don't think it's a good idea if I go to the arraignment. I mean, Lucy thinks that I was once a vampire, too.

Felicia: Yeah, you have a good point. Maybe I'll go to the arraignment for both of us.

Duke: Lucy, I'm sorry. I'm not gonna be able to go to the arraignment, but I'm your friend. Please believe me. I'll always be your friend. If there's anything I can do for you, you just call me.

Lucy: I will, but -- listen, Duke, I appreciate that, but I want you to go after Caleb Morley. Hunt him down.

Time for Miss Coe's arraignment.

Lucy: What? I-I don't even have a lawyer!

Alexis: You do now.

May I help you?

Tracy: Yes. I-I need to see Lucy Coe.

Well, you're gonna have to wait because the prisoner's already got visitors.

Tracy: Well, then, I'll just go down there myself if you're not gonna help me.

Anna: Oh, no, you won't. You will wait your turn. Take a seat, please.

Tracy: No, Anna. This is a matter of life and death.

Anna: Whose?

Tracy: Mine. My life at ELQ is over if A.J. Quartermaine has anything to do with it.

A.J.: You're telling me Lucy Coe's in jail?

Monica: Apparently she had some sort of psychotic break.

A.J.: I remember McBain. He was -- he was into my plea bargain with the D.A. So, you're telling me that Lucy thinks this guy's a vampire?

Monica: Well, hence the desire to put a stake through him.

A.J.: And this happened yesterday, right?

Monica: Mm-hmm.

A.J.: The same day Lucy decided to throw her support behind Tracy as C.E.O.

Monica: A.J.? What are you thinking?

A.J.: I'm thinking I may have a chance to run ELQ yet.

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