General Hospital Transcript Thursday 2/18/99

Provided by Laura

LAURA: I DIDN'T FAIL YOU,
LUKE.
YOU WALKED OUT ON ME.
YOU WALKED OUT ON OUR MARRIAGE.
TONY: DON'T THINK YOUR PETTY
HARASSMENT'S GOING TO MAKE ME
NOT SEE MY SON.
CARLY: HE IS NOT GOING
TO BELIEVE YOU!
GOD, PLEASE, JASON,
DON'T BELIEVE HIM.

FELICIA: IS THERE A -- A BOMB
SCARE OR A HOSTAGE CRISIS
OR SOMETHING?
MAC: I THOUGHT YOU WERE
SLEEPING IN.
FELICIA: WHY IS EVERYBODY
SHRIEKING?
MAC: FELICIA, WHY AREN'T
YOU HOME IN BED?
FELICIA: SNOW DAY.
SCHOOLS ARE CLOSED.
MAC: DID THE GIRLS GO BACK
ON OUR AGREEMENT?
I BRIBED THEM TO LET
YOU SLEEP IN.
FELICIA: MAXIE AND GEORGIE
WERE PERFECT ANGELS UNTIL
THE CONSTRUCTION STARTED.
ALL THAT POUNDING AND THAT
DRILLING --
IT WAS AWFUL.
JUST AWFUL.
MAC: WELL, HOW MUCH NOISE CAN
TWO LITTLE GIRLS MAKE?
FELICIA: WITH A TOOLBOX
AND A FULL-GROWN BABYSITTER
AND MASSIVE REDECORATING
GOING ON?
MAC: FELICIA, SWEETIE,
IT'S JUST A DOLLHOUSE.
FELICIA: THE DOCKS
RENOVATIONS WERE MUCH QUIETER.
UGH.
IT'S SO BRIGHT.
THAT LIGHT IS SO BLINDING,
REFLECTING UP OFF THE SNOW.
MAC: OH, YEAH, AND
RICOCHETING OFF YOUR LITTLE
HANGOVER?
FELICIA: I --
I DON'T REMEMBER DRINKING
SO MUCH.
MAC: WELL, LET ME ASK
YOU THIS -- DO YOU REMEMBER ME
CARRYING YOU OUT?
FELICIA: OH, THAT --
THAT WASN'T A DREAM?
I THOUGHT IT WAS.
MAC: NO.
NO, IT WASN'T.
POOR BABY.
FELICIA: I JUST WANT TO TAKE
A NAP, OK?
MAC: OK. THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
FELICIA: OK.
MAC: I WILL TRY AND WORK
AS QUIETLY AS I CAN.
FELICIA: OK, AND TRY NOT
TO BREATHE SO LOUD, ALL RIGHT?
MAC: Shh, I won't breathe
loudly.
FELICIA: OK.
TONY: I WOULD LIKE TO REPORT
THE THEFT OF AN AUTO.
FELICIA: OH, GOD.
JERRY: I'M TRADING
MY CELL PHONE IN FOR A CARRIER
PIGEON.
I SUGGEST THAT YOU DO THE SAME.
BOBBIE: OH, PHONE TROUBLE.
SO THAT'S WHY I GOT STOOD UP
LAST NIGHT.
JERRY: YOU DID NOTICE
THE STORM?
BOBBIE: WELL, AS A MATTER
OF FACT, I WAS LOOKING FORWARD
TO THE STORM -- OUR GREAT
ROMANTIC PARADISE, THE GREAT
ROMANTIC ADVENTURE.
JERRY: IT WOULD HAVE BEEN ALL
THAT AND MORE IF THE BLIZZARD
HADN'T HIT AN HOUR EARLY.
LOOK, THIS IS SO MUNDANE I CAN
HARDLY BRING MYSELF AROUND
TO SAY IT --
MY CAR GOT STUCK IN A SNOWDRIFT.
BOBBIE: "A SNOWDRIFT."
JERRY: LOOK, IF YOU DON'T
BELIEVE ME --
AND WHY SHOULD YOU? --
CALL THIS NUMBER
AND ASK FOR BIFF.
BOBBIE: OH, I SUPPOSE THIS
BIFF IS YOUR ALIBI.
JERRY: MORE LIKE A WITNESS
TO MY PLIGHT.
IT TOOK ME HALF THE NIGHT
TO TREK TO BIFF'S GARAGE
AND THE OTHER HALF TO HELP HIM
DIG MY CAR OUT.
BOBBIE: SO DOES THIS MEAN I'M
SUPPOSED TO FORGIVE YOU?
JERRY: AND SYMPATHIZE
WITH MY PAIN.
IT WAS HELL GETTING AROUND,
OR DIDN'T YOU NOTICE?
OH, YOU MUST HAVE BEEN STUCK
HERE ALL NIGHT.
DID THE BOILER HOLD UP?
STEFAN: BARBARA.
I WANT TO THANK YOU
FOR YOUR HOSPITALITY.
AMY: WHEN YOUR DAUGHTER GAV
THAT LAST VALENTINE'S COOKIE
TO THE HAMILTON'S DOG, I STARTED
TO GET A LITTLE BIT NERVOUS.
I THOUGHT FOSTER WAS GOING
TO GET REALLY JEALOUS.
THEN LESLEY LU EXPLAINED TO HIM
THAT HE PREFERS CUPCAKES.
LAURA: YEAH.
HE DOES LIKE CUPCAKES.
AMY: I THOUGHT THAT THE STORM
ADDED A NICE KIND OF TOUCH
TO THE EVENT.
A LITTLE DRAMA THERE.
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE
LITTLE AND WE MADE VALENTINE
CANDIES OUT OF GUMDROPS
AND HONEY AND MELTED IT ALL OVER
THE PLACE?
WHAT A MESS.
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN CUPID
SHOWED UP AT THE FRONT DOOR
AND OFFERED TO GIVE US FREE
ARCHERY LESSONS?
LAURA: UH-HUH.
AMY: WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO TAKE THE TRASH OUT
FOR YOU ON MY WAY OUT?
LAURA: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE
GOING TO STAY.
AMY: WELL, I WAS.
BUT IF I'M GOING TO BE
BY MYSELF, I'D RATHER BE
AT HOME.
LAURA: OH, AMY, FORGIVE ME
FOR NOT GIVING YOU MY COMPLETE
AND UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.
AMY: AND EXCUSE ME
FOR THINKING I WAS GOING TO GET
NOTICED AT ALL.
JASON: HERE WE GO.
YOU KNOW, YOU ARE GETTING BETTER
AND BETTER AT SWIMMING.
YOU'RE NOT AFRAID OF THE WATER
AT ALL.
DID YOU SEE THOSE KIDS
ON THE BEACH?
HUH?
THEY WERE SCARED OF THE WAVES,
AND THEY WERE TWICE AS BIG
AS YOU.
WE'RE LUCKY TO BE AWAY
FROM THE WINTER.
THE SNOW IN PORT CHARLES IS --
IT'S A TERM RESERVED
FOR A SELECT FEW.
LIKE OUR LATEST KENMORE
ULTRA-WASH DISHWASHER.
WE'VE REPLACED
THE CENTRAL WATER TOWER
WITH AN ULTRA-FLOW SYSTEM...
THAT SPRAYS FROM THREE LEVELS,
MASTERMINDING A DISHWASHER
THAT OUTSHINES ALL THE REST.
NOW, ALL TRUE GENIUS REQUIRES
IS A LITTLE DETERGENT.
AMERICA'S BEST-CLEANING
DISHWASHER SYSTEM.
SOMEONE'S BEEN
SNEAKING MY MILANO COOKIES.
THE BABY?
WOULD SHE KNOW HOW
TO SAVOR EVERY MOMENT?
THE FINEST DARK CHOCOLATE
TWO EXQUISITE COOKIES
MILANO, ONE OF
THE DISTINCTIVE COOKIES
FROM PEPPERIDGE FARM.
FF?r
WHAT'S INSIDE NEW LUDEN'S
HERBAL THROAT DROPS?
NATURE'S SOOTHING
HERBAL REMEDIES.
FOR IRRITATED THROATS,
TRY NEW LUDEN'S HERBAL.
JASON: IT'S ALMOST TIME
FOR HIS NAP, BUT JUST BATHE HIM
FIRST, MAKE SURE WE RINSED ALL
THE SAND.
NOW, MARIA, HE LIKES HIS BATH,
BUT IF HE GIVES YOU A PROBLEM --
MARIA: MICHAEL AND I WILL BE
FINE.
WE'RE BECOMING VERY GOOD
FRIENDS, HUH?
[MICHAEL FUSSES]
JASON: OH, NO.
I'M HERE IF HE NEEDS ME.
MARIA: WE WON'T.
[MICHAEL FUSSES]
MARIA: OH, HEY, IT'S OK.
SONNY: I NEVER FIGURED MARIA
FOR A MATERNAL TYPE.
JASON: YEAH, MICHAEL REALLY
LIKES HER.
YOU'RE ALONE.
JASON: WHAT HAPPENED
WITH CARLY?
SONNY: THE BITCH
DOUBLE-CROSSED YOU.
TONY: I AM NOT YELLING.
FELICIA: I HAVE A HEADACHE.
TONY: I HAVE ONE, TOO.
MINE HAS A NAME.
MAC: MEANING YOU KNOW WHO
STOLE YOUR CAR?
TONY: JERRY JAX.
AND DON'T GIVE ME THAT,
"OH, TONY'S GONE AROUND THE BEND
AGAIN" LOOK.
MAC: JERRY CARJACKED YOU?
AT A STOP SIGN?
AT A STOP SIGN?
WERE THERE ACCOMPLICES?
WAS HE ARMED?
TONY: I'M SO GLAD THIS AMUSES
YOU.
IT COST ME $500 TO GET IT OUT
OF THE IMPOUND LOT.
MAC: AND WHAT, WOULD THIS BE
JERRY'S PERSONAL IMPOUND LOT?
TONY: ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE
FUN OF ME, OR DO YOU WANT
TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?
FELICIA: WE -- WE WANT
TO HEAR -- QUIETLY.
TONY: I WAS AT THE
PORT CHARLES GRILL HAVING
ANOTHER YET AGAIN FRUITLESS
CONVERSATION WITH MY EX-WIFE
WHEN JERRY ARRIVED AND INFORMED
ME THAT MY VEHICLE HAD BEEN
TOWED.
AND THAT GOT MY FULL ATTENTION
BECAUSE I KNEW FULL WELL THAT
MY CAR WAS LEGALLY PARKED.
IT'S RIGHT IN FRONT
OF THE HOTEL.
AND HE GOES, "NO, NO, NO.
IT'S IN A HANDICAPPED PARKING
ZONE," WITH A PREDICTABLE
RESULT.
MAC: SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT
JERRY --
TONY: JERRY JAX HOT-WIRED
MY CAR, HE PUT IT IN
A HANDICAPPED ZONE AND THEN
REPORTED IT WITH THE EXPRESS
PURPOSE OF AGGRAVATING ME
FOR THE ENTIRE DAY.
HE WANTED TO STRESS ME OUT,
HE WANTED TO COST ME MONEY,
AND HE WANTED TO GET ME
A PARKING VIOLATION.
FELICIA: MY GOD, THAT SOUNDS
LIKE A FRAT HOUSE PRANK TO ME.
MAC: WHY WOULD JERRY GO
TO ALL THAT TROUBLE, TONY?
YOU BEEN LEANING ON BOBBIE
AGAIN?
TONY: I'VE PUT HER ON NOTICE
THAT I AM REPETITIONING
THE COURT FOR MY VISITATION
RIGHTS WITH MY SON.
AND THEN HER PUNK BOYFRIEND
INSTIGATED A CAMPAIGN
OF CRIMINAL HARASSMENT.
MAC: OH, "A CAMPAIGN," IS IT
NOW?
TONY: YOU THINK HE'S GOING
TO STOP AT TOWING MY CAR?
MAC: I DON'T SEE JERRY IN ANY
OF THIS.
BUT IF YOU WOULD LIKE US TO DUST
YOUR STEERING WHEEL
FOR FINGERPRINTS --
TONY: OK.
I KNOW THAT I CAN'T PROVE THIS.
I JUST WANT IT ON RECORD,
ALL RIGHT?
IF MY CAR EXPLODES, IF MY HOUSE
BURNS DOWN, IF I SLIP ON THE ICE
AND BREAK MY NECK, LOOK
FOR JERRY JAX, ALL RIGHT?
STEFAN: YES.
THAT WILL BE FINE.
MAKE SURE MRS. LANSBURY'S AWARE
OF THAT.
JERRY: SO, WHILE I WAS
BRAVING THE BLIZZARD IN A VAIN
ATTEMPT TO REACH THE LIGHT
OF MY LIFE, YOU AND
YOUR EX-HUSBAND WERE DOING WHAT
AGAIN?
BOBBIE: I DIDN'T SAY.
JERRY: I NOTICED.
STEFAN: WELL,
WENDERS IS ON HIS WAY.
HE'S PICKING ME UP ON THE DOCKS.
BOBBIE: OK.
STEFAN: PLEASE ALLOW ME
TO COVER THE COST OF THE ROOM.
WHAT IS YOUR STANDARD NIGHTLY
RATE?
BOBBIE: OH, WELL, A ROOM
USUALLY GOES FOR $100 A WEEK,
BUT YOU WERE ONLY HERE ONE
NIGHT, SO I'D SAY $50 IS FAIR.
STEFAN: WELL, THAT WOULD ONLY
BE FAIR IF YOU INCLUDE
YOUR EXTRAORDINARY RECIPE
FOR CHILI.
BOBBIE: OH, IN THAT CASE,
I'LL GO WRITE IT DOWN.
EXCUSE ME A MINUTE.
JERRY: YOU NEVER STRUCK ME
AS THE CHILI TYPE.
STEFAN: AND IT NEVER STRUCK
ME THAT YOU WOULD BE
SO INDISCRETE AS TO ALLOW LUKE
SPENCER TO TRACE THE FUNDS I HAD
YOU EMBEZZLE FOR ME.
JERRY: THAT'S NOT DOWN TO ME.
SPENCER'S BEEN STUDYING
CASSADINE HISTORY FOR, WHAT,
TWO DECADES?
IS IT REALLY ANY SURPRISE
TO YOU THAT HE'S MASTERED
YOUR GAME?
SO, DO YOU WANT YOUR COMMISSION
BACK?
STEFAN: NO.
YOUR BANKING WAS SHABBY,
BUT YOUR DETECTIVE WORK WAS
SOUND.
BESIDES, YOU'LL NEED
YOUR CAPITAL WHEN YOUR CURRENT
VENTURE FAILS.
JERRY: MY "CURRENT VENTURE."
STEFAN: I'M REFERRING
TO THE FUTILE ALLIANCE THAT'S
DEVELOPED BETWEEN MY SISTER
AND YOUR BROTHER OF COURSE.
JERRY: I'M NOT AWARE OF ANY
SUCH ALLIANCE.
STEFAN: NO.
JAX IS WASTING HIS TIME.
BOBBIE: HERE YOU GO.
STEFAN: THANK YOU.
BOBBIE: THAT'LL BE $100,
PLEASE.
STEFAN: ALL RIGHT.
BOBBIE: OH.
STEFAN: AND --
BOBBIE: THANK YOU.
STEFAN: THANK YOU AGAIN
FOR YOUR KINDNESS.
JERRY: EXACTLY HOW KIND WERE
YOU, BARBARA?
BOBBIE: WELL, I CAN BE A VERY
KIND PERSON, HAVEN'T
YOU NOTICED?
YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO BE
JEALOUS, WOULD YOU?
AMY: DO YOU REALIZE IT'S
PROBABLY BEEN SIX MONTHS SINCE
WE'VE HAD A REAL CONVERSATION?
LAURA: OH, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
WE'VE HAD PLENTY OF
CONVERSATIONS.
AMY: NO, I DON'T MEAN,
"HI, BYE, LOVE YOUR HAT."
I MEAN THE KIND OF CONVERSATION
WHERE REAL INFORMATION IS
EXCHANGED, LIKE WHERE YOU TELL
ME WHAT YOU'RE THINKING
AND WHAT'S GOING ON
IN YOUR LIFE.
LAURA: I'VE TOLD YOU WHAT'S
GOING ON IN MY LIFE.
AMY: YOU'VE TOLD ME AS LITTLE
AS POSSIBLE ON A NEED-TO-KNOW
BASIS.
WHENEVER I CALL YOU, YOU'RE WAY
TOO BUSY TO TALK.
WHENEVER I RUN INTO YOU,
YOU'RE TOO BUSY TO STOP.
LAURA: WELL, YOU'RE HERE NOW.
I INVITED YOU TO SPEND
THE NIGHT.
AMY: AND I WAS SO THRILLED.
FINALLY MY SISTER WANTS TO SPEND
SOME TIME WITH ME AND SEE ME.
BUT YOU DON'T SEE ME.
I'M AS INVISIBLE TO
YOU AS THE AIR IS.
LAURA: OH, WHY DOES EVERYBODY
WANT TO FIGHT WITH ME, HUH?
MY HUSBAND, MY SON, AND NOW YOU?
AMY: NOW I GET IT.
NOW I KNOW WHY I'M HERE.
BECAUSE I'M THE FAMILY THAT
YOU DON'T CARE ENOUGH ABOUT
TO FIGHT WITH.
LAURA: OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
AMY, PLEASE, JUST STOP IT.
I FEEL LIKE I'M IN SOME KIND
OF A TIME WARP WHERE EVERYONE
I LOVE JUST SEEMS TO WANT
TO RACE EACH OTHER TO THE DOOR
TO GET AWAY FROM ME.
I SHOULD'VE KNOWN THAT YOU'D BE
NEXT.
AMY: I'M SORRY.
IF YOU COULD LEAVE
JUST A LITTLE BIT
OVER AT EVERY MEAL,
IT WOULD REALLY ADD UP.
IMAGINE WHAT YOU COULD AVOID
EATING IN A SINGLE MONTH.
IF YOU'RE SIGNIFICANTLY
OVERWEIGHT,
30 POUNDS OR MORE,
DEPENDING ON HEIGHT,
YOUR DOCTOR HAS
SOMETHING THAT MAY
HELP YOU TO EAT LESS.
IT'S CALLED MERIDIA,
AND IT CAN HELP YOU
TO LOSE WEIGHT,
AND KEEP IT OFF.
YOU'VE GOT TO DO YOUR PART.
YOU'VE GOT TO DO YOUR PART
WITH DIET AND EXERCISE,
BUT MERIDIA CAN HELP.
MERIDIA IS
A PRESCRIPTION MEDICINE,
AND IT'S NOT FOR EVERYONE.
IT CAN SUBSTANTIALLY
RAISE BLOOD PRESSURE,
AND IT'S NOT FOR PEOPLE WHO
ARE PREGNANT OR NURSING,
UNDER 16, OR TAKING ANYTHING
ELSE FOR WEIGHT LOSS,
DEPRESSION, PARKINSON'S
DISEASE, MIGRAINES,
OR FOR PEOPLE WITH
ANOREXIA, GLAUCOMA,
OR SERIOUS HEART PROBLEMS.
SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE
HEADACHE, CONSTIPATION,
INSOMNIA, AND DRY MOUTH.
IT'S A CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE,
SO PATIENTS WHO ABUSE MERIDIA
MAY BECOME DEPENDENT.
FOR MORE INFORMATION,
ASK YOUR DOCTOR OR CALL...
I'M--I'M READY.
USE ONE OF THESE...
DAILY SHOWER CLEANERS,
AND YOU'RE MISSING SOMETHING.
THE CONFIDENCE YOU GET
FROM THE LYSOL NAME.
INTRODUCING
LYSOL DAILY SHOWER CLEANER.
BEYOND SAVING TIME,
IT'S THE CLEAN YOU TRUST.
TILL YOU HAVE OUR WORD ON IT,
YOU CAN'T CALL IT CLEAN.
0
SHE WAS COMING HOME
TO THE JUNGLE...
AND TO THEIR WILD,
UNTAMED LOVE...
FOR BUTTER.
CUT DOWN BY CHOLESTEROL...
UNTIL--
DARLING, LOOK WHAT
I'VE BROUGHT BACK.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
IT'S NOT BUTTER !
IT'S THE PREMIER SPREAD
FLAVORED WITH REAL
SWEET CREAM BUTTERMILK...
FOR A FRESH BUTTER TASTE
BUT WITHOUT THE CHOLESTEROL.
HOW CIVILIZED.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER!
LAURA: I'M SORRY.
I KNOW I'VE BEEN DISTANT LATELY.
AMY: I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
LAURA: PLEASE DON'T.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO ALONE, AMY.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW THAT LUKE LEFT
ME, RIGHT?
AMY: WELL, YEAH, BUT LUKE'S
ALWAYS COMING AND GOING.
LAURA: YEAH.
NOT THIS TIME.
THIS TIME IT'S REALLY,
REALLY DIFFERENT.
I MEAN, HE DOESN'T LIVE HERE
ANYMORE.
THIS TIME IT'S REALLY OVER.
AMY: THAT I KNOW IS NOT TRUE.
LAURA: WHY?
YOU THINK LOVE DOESN'T DIE?
I USED TO THINK THAT.
AMY: I'M NOT SAYING THAT
YOU GUYS AREN'T GOING THROUGH
A ROUGH TIME.
BUT ISN'T THAT THE NATURE
OF A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP?
I MEAN, SOMETIMES YOU'RE UP
AND SOMETIMES YOU'RE DOWN.
LAURA: I WISH THAT'S ALL IT
WAS.
AMY: SORRY.
LAURA: YEAH.
YOU KNOW WHAT THE SCARIEST PART
OF ALL THIS IS?
I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM
WITHOUT HIM.
YOU KNOW, MY ENTIRE ADULT LIFE,
I'VE SPENT AS HIS WIFE,
AS HIS PARTNER, AND I GUESS
I JUST LET MYSELF BE DEFINED
BY THAT.
LUKE TOLD ME WE WOULD BE
TOGETHER FOREVER.
I BELIEVED THAT.
AND NOW
HE'S GONE.
AND HE'S NOT COMING BACK.
AMY: ALL THIS IS
BECAUSE OF STEFAN?
WELL, IT'S ALL OVER THE HOSPITAL
THAT NIKOLAS IS YOUR SON
BY STEFAN.
LAURA: OH, BOY.
I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THAT
ONE COMING.
AMY: THEN IT'S TRUE.
LAURA: YES, AMY, IT'S TRUE.
AND I REFUSE TO BE ASHAMED
OF IT.
AMY: I DON'T THINK ANYBODY
THINKS YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED.
LAURA: WELL, I THINK LUKE
WOULD PROBABLY ARGUE THAT POINT.
AMY: YEAH, BUT LUKE'S
JEALOUS.
I MEAN, HE HATES STEFAN,
BUT HE LOVES YOU MORE,
AND HE'LL GET OVER THIS.
UNLESS --
DO YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS
FOR STEFAN?
LAURA: YES, I DO.
I MEAN, HE'S BEEN COMPLETELY
SOLID.
HE IS NONJUDGMENTAL,
HE'S FORGIVING,
LOVING.
HE'S BEEN EVERYTHING THAT
MY HUSBAND ISN'T.
AND WE HAVE A SON TOGETHER.
I MEAN, WHY SHOULDN'T I RESPOND
TO HIM?
I MEAN,
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?
JERRY: I ABHOR WASTE.
BOBBIE: OH.
SO YOU ARE JEALOUS.
JERRY: EXOTIC FLOWERS NEVER
GAZED UPON, AN EXQUISITE FEAST
NEVER TOUCHED.
AND YOUR GOLDEN PRESENCE
SQUANDERED ON CASSADINE WHILE
SHANGRI-LA SAT EMPTY, WAITING.
BOBBIE: WELL, ONE GOOD THING
ABOUT EXOTIC FLOWERS -- THEY DO
TEND TO LAST.
JERRY: AND CHAMPAGNE CAN BE
RECHILLED.
BOBBIE: SO YOU SEE, WE MAY
HAVE MISSED VALENTINE'S DAY,
BUT THERE'S ALWAYS THIS WEEKEND.
JERRY: WHAT ARE YOU DOING
RIGHT NOW?
BOBBIE: I'M RUNNING
THE DINER.
JERRY: YOU'RE THE MANAGER.
MAKE AN EXECUTIVE DECISION
AND FLIP THE "CLOSED" SIGN.
BOBBIE: IF KELLY'S CLOSED
EVERY TIME IT SNOWED, WE'D ONLY
BE OPEN SIX MONTHS A YEAR.
JERRY: NOW, THERE'S
A THOUGHT.
BOBBIE: BESIDES, I HAVE
TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO ABOUT
TONY BECAUSE HE CAME BY AGAIN
AND HE'S BEEN PRESSURING ME
ABOUT THAT COURT HEARING DATE.
JERRY: WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
TOGETHER.
BOBBIE: HI, TAMMY.
CUP OF COFFEE?
TAMMY: OH, ISN'T THAT
MY LINE?
BOBBIE: WHY IS THAT?
TAMMY: YOU HAVEN'T TALKED
TO YOUR BROTHER, HUH?
BOBBIE: NO.
TAMMY: WELL, I WAS HOLED UP
AT HIS CLUB LAST NIGHT.
AND IT'S A BIT OF A BLUR,
BUT I WOKE UP THIS MORNING
WITH A SENSE THAT I'D TAKEN
A JOB HERE.
BOBBIE: SO, DID LUKE PLY
YOU WITH LIQUOR AND CHARM
YOU WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR LIFE?
JERRY: YOUR TIMING IS
IMPECCABLE.
THERE'S A POT OF CHILI
IN THE BACK --
TAMMY: I'M GOING TO BE HERE
ALONE?
BOBBIE: WELL, NO.
NOT IF IT MAKES YOU
UNCOMFORTABLE.
JERRY: YOU HAVE A GOOD GAZE,
AN HONEST LOOK.
LET'S DO THE HANDSHAKE TEST.
STRONG AND FIRM.
THIS WOMAN IS MORE THAN CAPABLE
OF TAKING CHARGE.
BOBBIE: IS THIS GOING TO MAKE
YOU CRAZY?
TAMMY: WELL, HOW LONG WILL
YOU BE GONE?
BOBBIE: A COUPLE OF HOURS.
JERRY: MAKE THAT SEVERAL.
TAMMY: WELL, WHAT TIME DO
WE CLOSE?
BOBBIE: WELL, THE MINUTE
YOU RUN OUT OF STEAM, OR -- I'LL
TRY TO BE BACK BEFORE YOU'RE
READY TO SHOOT ME.
JERRY: IT'S REALLY NOT GOING
TO BE A PROBLEM BECAUSE THERE
AREN'T ANY CUSTOMERS.
BOBBIE: THAT'S RIGHT,
AND THE MENU IS EXTREMELY
LIMITED.
TAMMY: WHOA, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT.
THE MENU?
BOBBIE: GRILLED CHEESE
OR TUNA SALAD OR SCRAMBLED EGGS.
YOU KNOW, WHATEVER YOU CAN
MANAGE.
TAMMY: UH -- IMPROVISE?
BOBBIE: IS THAT A PROBLEM?
TAMMY: NO, ACTUALLY.
IT'S WHAT I DO BEST.
JERRY: LIKE I SAID -- DIVINE
INTERVENTION.
BOBBIE: BYE, TAMMY.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
TAMMY: BYE.
JERRY: CONSIDER MYSELF
PERMANENTLY IN YOUR DEBT.
TONY: SO JERRY JAX DECLARES
WAR ON ME, BUT I'M MELODRAMATIC.
MAC: TONY, YOU DIDN'T FIND
A SEVERED HORSE HEAD UNDER
YOUR BLANKET.
YOU CAR GOT TOWED AWAY,
AND YOU HAVE NO PROOF THAT
JERRY'S RESPONSIBLE.
TONY: DESPITE THE FACT THAT
HE PRACTICALLY THREW IT
IN MY FACE.
DESPITE THE FACT THAT
HE DESPISES ME.
MAC: WHILE YOU'RE SO FOND
OF HIM?
AND SPKING OF FELONS,
YOU'RE ON THAT LIST.
YOU KNOW, YOU KIDNAPPED
AN INFANT.
TONY: OH, THAT'S RIGHT,
I SHOULD BE TERRORIZED FOR LIFE.
MAC: LOOK, I SEE -- I SEE
NO INTIMIDATION HERE.
ALL RIGHT?
AND NO EXCUSE FOR DEFENSIVE
MEASURES.
TONY: OH, SO --
MAC: SO DON'T GO AND DO
SOMETHING CRAZY, TONY,
TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM SOME
BOGUS THREAT.
TONY: I GOT IT, I'M SUPPOSED
TO JUST ROLL OVER AND LET JERRY
JAX SABOTAGE MY LIFE?
I DON'T LIFT A FINGER TO DEFEND
MYSELF?
FELICIA: NO.
DON'T SABOTAGE YOUR LIFE, TONY.
YOU'VE COME TOO FAR.
YOU'VE GOT YOUR OLD JOB BACK.
YOUR LIFE IS ON AN UPSWING.
TONY: YEAH, EXCEPT FOR THAT
ANNOYING LITTLE DETAIL LIKE
I HAVE NO ACCESS TO MY SON.
MAC: TONY, YOU ARE NOT GOING
TO WIN OVER ANY COURT WITH THESE
INSANE ACCUSATIONS.
TONY: THANK YOU FOR THAT
INCREDIBLE LEGAL ADVICE.
NOW, DO YOU CHARGE FOR THAT
OR IS THAT FREE?
MAC: WELL, THAT'S FREE.
BUT IF YOU DO SOMETHING STUPID,
THEN I'LL CHARGE YOU AND THEN
I'LL BOOK YOU.
FELICIA: YOU KNOW,
IF ANYTHING, YOU'RE GOING
TO MAKE BOBBIE MORE DEFENSIVE,
AND SHE'S GOING TO FIGHT
YOU EVEN HARDER SO THAT
YOU CAN'T SEE LUCAS ANYMORE.
NOW MAYBE IF YOU'RE REASONABLE,
EVENTUALLY SHE'LL LET YOU BACK
INTO HIS LIFE.
TONY: THEN MAYBE GO
TO HIS COLLEGE GRADUATION.
MAC: TONY, YOU CAN FILE ANY
CHARGE YOU WANT.
MY ADVICE TO YOU IS TO WALK AWAY
FROM THIS.
FELICIA: HE'S RIGHT.
A PUBLIC FIGHT WITH JERRY IS
THE LAST THING THAT YOU WANT.
TONY: WELL, THANK
YOU FOR CARING.
AND YOU FOR YOUR INVALUABLE
SUPPORT.
MAC: I WILL CHALK UP
YOUR DEFENSE OF TONY TO HABIT
AND YOUR HANGOVER.
FELICIA: I REALLY DON'T WANT
TO ARGUE RIGHT NOW.
MAC: FELICIA, MY POINT IS
THAT TONY IS --
FELICIA: POINT IT THE OTHER
WAY.
TAGGERT: CORINTHOS LOST
OUR TAIL.
SONNY: THE NEXT THING I KNOW,
TAGGERT SHOWS UP AT MY FRONT
DOOR WITH A SEARCH WARRANT
BECAUSE CAROLINE BENSON REPORTED
YOU TO THE POLICE FOR
KIDNAPPING.
JASON: AND THAT'S IT.
SONNY: NO, NO, NO.
IT GETS BETTER.
YOUR SISTER SHOWS UP
AT THE PENTHOUSE AND TELLS ME
CARLY WENT TO THE QUARTERMAINES
CLAIMING THAT YOU FOUGHT
HER WHEN SHE WANTED TO ADMIT
A.J. WAS THE FATHER,
AND YOU TOOK MICHAEL
ON A PHANTOM PEDIATRICIAN'S
APPOINTMENT AND DISAPPEARED.
JASON: AND WHAT'D YOU TELL
EMILY?
SONNY: THE TRUTH.
THAT YOU TOOK MICHAEL ON A TRIP
WITH CARLY'S PERMISSION,
AND THAT IF I WERE YOU,
I WOULDN'T COME BACK.
JASON: NOW, YOU'RE TELLING ME
ALL THIS HAPPENED AFTER
YOU CALLED ME AND SAID CARLY HAD
TO STAY WITH BOBBIE
BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO SAY
GOOD-BYE ONE MORE DAY, RIGHT?
SONNY: ANOTHER LIE.
SHE SET YOU UP, TRICKED
YOU INTO TAKING THE KID.
JASON: NO, NO, NO, SONNY, NO.
WHEN I LEFT, CARLY MEANT TO COME
AFTER ME AND SOMETHING HAPPENED.
WHEN DID SHE CHANGE HER MIND?
SONNY: WE WERE ABOUT
TO LEAVE.
A.J. SHOWED UP WITH A COURT --
JASON: SEE, A.J.
RIGHT THERE.
WAS SHE EVER LEFT ALONE
WITH A.J.?
SONNY: NO.
JASON: DID HE EVER SAY
ANYTHING ABOUT FERNCLIFF?
SONNY: ARE YOU THINKING THAT
HE THREATENED HER?
BECAUSE HE DIDN'T.
ALL HE SAID -- THAT HE WANTED
TO TAKE THE KID AND CARLY
PRETENDED TO CARE.
NO, NO, CORRECTION -- SHE DID
CARE BECAUSE SHE KNOWS MICHAEL
IS HER MEAL TICKET.
SHE DECIDED THAT HE'S THE ONLY
WAY TO GET MORE MONEY
FROM THE QUARTERMAINES,
MORE THAN SHE'D EVER GET
FROM YOU.
SHE SOLD YOU OUT, MAN.
YOU BRING MICHAEL BACK
TO PORT CHARLES,
AND YOU'RE NEVER GETTING --
YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO GET NEAR
THAT KID AGAIN.
ü STRESS STINKS! üü ARRID WORKS! ü
EVEN UNDER STRESS
ARRID CAN HELP STOP
YOUR WORST SMELLING SWEAT.
ü ARRID WORKS! ü
ARRID.
...THAN ALKA-SELTZER PLUS
COLD MEDICINE?
IT JUST BREAKS UP
MY NASAL CONGESTION
SO THAT I CAN
FINALLY BREATHE.
ALKA-SELTZER PLUS
RUSHES MEDICINE
TO BREAK UP YOUR WORST COLD
SYMPTOMS.
NOTHING BREAKS UP YOUR COLD
BETTER THAN...
WANT TO CLEAN
THE WHOLE HOUSE FAST ?
ü GIDDYUP 409 ü
ü GIDDYUP 409 ü
ü GIDDYUP 409 ü
ü NOTHING CAN STOP HER,
NOTHING CAN STOP MY 409 ü
GIDDYUP 409.
( crashing,
punching, grunting )
FIGHTING TARTAR?
( punching, grunting )
BRUSHING MAY NOT BE ENOUGH.
( birds twittering... )
INTRODUCING THE ONLY MOUTHWASH
THAT HELPS FIGHT
TARTAR BUILD-UP:
NEW TARTAR CONTROL LISTERINE.
IT HAS THE SAME GERM-KILLING
POWER AS REGULAR LISTERINE
PLUS HELPS FIGHT TARTAR BUILD-UP
BETTER THAN BRUSHING ALONE.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO FIGHT TARTAR,
MAKE IT AN UNFAIR FIGHT.
NEW TARTAR CONTROL LISTERINE.
LOOK FOR A MONEY-SAVING COUPON
IN THIS SUNDAY'S PAPER.
A PROPER GENTLEMAN
EATS ONE COOKIE
AT A TIME.
BUT THESE AREN'T COOKIES.
THEY'RE NEWTONS.
WELL...
WE CAN'T BE PROPER
ALL THE TIME...
NOW CAN WE?
A COOKIE IS JUST A COOKIE,
BUT NEWTONS ARE FRUIT AND CAKE.
AND NOW, FIG NEWTONS
ARE BETTER THAN EVER
BECAUSE THEY'RE
MOISTER THAN EVER.
JASON: MY NAME
IS ON MICHAEL'S BIRTH
CERTIFICATE.
THAT MAKES ME MICHAEL'S LEGAL
FATHER.
SONNY: UNTIL THE
QUARTERMAINES GET A BLOOD TEST.
I SPOKE TO A LAWYER AND SHE SAID
THAT WITH BOTH OF MICHAEL'S
BIOLOGICAL PARENTS AGAINST YOU,
YOU ALMOST HAVE NO CHANCE
OF CUSTODY.
JASON: SONNY, THAT'S --
YOU KNOW, THAT'S FINE
BECAUSE THERE IS NO BLOOD TEST.
SO HOW CAN THEY ACCUSE ME
OF KIDNAPPING?
BECAUSE RIGHT NOW I'M MICHAEL'S
FATHER, AND I'VE TAKEN HIM OUT
OF THE COUNTRY BEFORE.
SONNY: THAT'S PART TRUE.
ALEXIS SAID --
JASON: WHAT -- ALEXIS?
DAVIS?
SONNY: SHE GOT TONY JONES
OFF, DIDN'T SHE?
JASON: OH.
SONNY: WHEN I HEARD CARLY WAS
CRYING KIDNAPPING, I FIGURED
YOU NEEDED A CRIMINAL ATTORNEY.
JASON: AND WHAT'D SHE SAY?
SONNY: SHE DOES NOT THINK
THAT THE KIDNAPPING CHARGES ARE
GOING TO STICK, WHICH IS FINE
BECAUSE YOU WON'T GO TO JAIL.
BUT IF YOU BRING MICHAEL BACK,
THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE HIM AWAY
FROM YOU PERMANENTLY.
JASON: ALEXIS SAID THAT?
SONNY: MM-HMM.
JASON: AS SOON AS I COME
BACK?
SONNY: AS SOON AS THEY RUN
A BLOOD TEST.
WHY ARE WE EVEN DISCUSSING THIS?
YOU'RE NOT GOING BACK.
JASON: I HAVE TO.
TAMMY: HI.
MIKE: HI.
TAMMY: COFFEE?
MIKE: YEAH.
BLACK, PLEASE.
SO, WHAT ARE THE SPECIALS TODAY?
TAMMY: OH.
I WAS AFRAID SOMEONE MIGHT ASK
ME THAT.
MIKE: YOU'RE NEW.
TAMMY: BRAND-NEW.
MIKE: WELCOME TO KELLY'S.
TAMMY: WELL, THANK YOU.
SO, IS THIS YOUR HOME AWAY
FROM HOME?
MIKE: WELL, I -- I RUN
A JOINT A COUPLE OF BLOCKS
AWAY -- THE RECOVERY ROOM.
BUT FOR VARIETY, I LIKE TO EAT
HERE.
TAMMY: OH.
MIKE: YOU?
TAMMY: ME?
MIKE: YEAH.
YOU BEEN IN THE DINER BUSINESS
LONG?
TAMMY: OH.
FIRST TIME.
MIKE: OH.
WHAT'D YOU DO BEFORE THAT?
TAMMY: CUSTOMER RELATIONS.
YOU READY TO ORDER?
MIKE: SURE.
HOW ABOUT AN EGG SALAD SANDWICH.
TAMMY: YOU JUST SAID TUNA
SALAD SANDWICH, RIGHT, I HOPE?
MIKE: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT
I SAID.
TUNA SALAD.
TAMMY: WE'RE GOING TO GET
ALONG JUST FINE, YOU AND I.
MIKE: TERRIFIC.
OOH.
LUKE: HEY.
MIKE: HEY.
I -- I HIGHLY RECOMMEND
THE COFFEE.
LUKE: YEAH?
MIKE: IT'S A HELL OF A LOT
BETTER THAN YOURS.
LUKE: WHO MADE IT?
ELVES?
MIKE: YOUR NEW WAITRESS.
TAMMY: RYE OR WHOLE WHEAT?
LUKE.
LUKE: TAMMY.
OH, DARLING, ARE YOU EVER
A SIGHT FOR SORE, BLOODSHOT
EYES.
LAURA: WHAT LUKE AND I HAD IS
OVER.
AMY: DO YOU STILL LOVE LUKE?
LAURA: WELL, WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES THAT MAKE, REALLY?
I DON'T WANT TO BE IN LOVE
BY MYSELF.
AMY: YOU KNOW, I KNOW THAT
YOU HAD A REALLY BAD YEAR
LAST YEAR,
SO MAYBE IT'S NOT SUCH A BAD
THING TO BE ALONE RIGHT NOW.
LAURA: I KNOW.
I HEAR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING,
AND PART OF ME EVEN WANTS
TO AGREE WITH YOU.
BUT I JUST --
I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO
THAT.
AMY: WELL, MAYBE IT'S TIME
YOU LEARN.
I MEAN, EVERYBODY'S ALONE
SOMETIME OR ANOTHER.
AND THE GOOD PART ABOUT THAT IS
THAT IT GIVES YOU TIME AND SPACE
TO LISTEN TO YOUR HEART AND KIND
OF MAKE YOUR DECISIONS
ACCORDINGLY.
LAURA: BREATHING ROOM.
AMY: IF STEFAN MAKES
YOU HAPPY, WELL, THEN THAT'S
GREAT.
BUT RIGHT NOW YOU ARE TOO
VULNERABLE AND TOO CONNECTED
TO LUKE TO EVER REALLY FIND OUT.
LAURA: THAT'S REALLY GOOD
ADVICE, AMY.
THANK YOU.
AMY: ANY TIME.
ANY TIME.
AND I REALLY MEAN THAT.
LAURA: I KNOW YOU DO.
THANKS.
FELICIA: OH, THIS IS
TERRIBLE.
TAGGERT: ACTUALLY IT'S JUST
A LITTLE GLITCH.
WE'LL TRACK DOWN CORINTHOS
AND HE'LL LEAD US TO MORGAN
AND THE KID.
FELICIA: DO YOU HAPPEN
TO HAVE AN ASPIRIN?
MAC: MY WIFE HAS A HANGOVER.
FELICIA: SHH.
TAGGERT: OH.
AHEM.
NO KIDDING.
WELL, GUESS WHAT?
YOUR TROUBLES ARE OVER.
I HAVE THE CURE DEVELOPED
BY MY GREAT-GREAT-UNCLE
ON MY MOTHER'S SIDE WHO OWNED
A HONKY-TONK IN EAST ST. LOUIS.
RELIEF IS ON THE WAY.
FELICIA: OH.
THE NEXT PERSON WHO SLAMS
THROUGH THAT DOOR --
MAC: ARREST HIM?
FELICIA: SHOOT HIM.
NOBODY IN THIS HOUSE
EVER GETS DIARRHEA.
IT'S MY STOMACH, OKAY?
- OR NAUSEA.
- I WAS SICK TO MY STOMACH.
- OR EVEN INDIGESTION.
- OH, MY STOMACH !
BUT FOR ALL THOSE
"STOMACH" PROBLEMS,
I'M READY WITH PEPT0-BISMOL.
IT'S A WHOLE FIRST AID KIT
FOR STOMACHS.
[Announcer ]
AS IT COATS, PEPTO RELIEVES
MOST ANY STOMACH PROBLEM,
NOT JUST A FEW LIKE THESE
OTHER LEADING MEDICINES.
WHETHER IT'S THEIR STOMACHS,
STOMACHS OR STOMACHS,
IT'S...
WHICH AFTER-SHOWER SPRAY CLEANER
LEAVES NO DULL RESIDUE ?
THE ANSWER IS AS CLEAR
AS THE LABEL ON THE BOTTLE.
NEW SHOWER SHINE.
FROM THE SCRUBBING BUBBLES.
THEY WORK HARD
AFTER EVERY SHOWER
SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
IF YOU'RE NOT USING
NEW SHOWER SHINE
AFTER-SHOWER SPRAY CLEANER,
THE FORECAST FOR YOUR SHOWER
IS MOSTLY CLOUDY.
NEW SHOWER SHINE.
FROM THE SCRUBBING BUBBLES.
THEY WORK HARD
AFTER EVERY SHOWER
SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
ü YOU'RE WHY I BAKE ü
ü A DUNCAN HINES CAKE ü
ü YOU'RE WHY I BAKE ü
ü A DUNCAN HINES CAKE ü
ü YOUR SMILE GIVES ME
THE INSPIRATION ü
ü TO MAKE A SWEET SENSATION ü
YOU DON'T NEED A SPECIAL
OCCASION TO BAKE A CAKE...
AS MOIST
AS A DUNCAN HINES CAKE.
JUST A SPECIAL PERSON.
ü YOU'RE WHY I BAKE ü
ü A DUNCAN HINES CAKE ü
ü YOU'RE WHY I BAKE ü
ü A DUNCAN HINES-- üü
THE NEW AGE OF BEAUTY?
IT'S COLOR THAT LOOKS YOUNGER,
MORE ALIVE.
IT'S THE AGE OF REVITALIQUE
THE BREAKTHROUGH AGE-DEFYING
HAIRCOLOR SYSTEM.
REVITALIQUE COMBINES
SENSATIONAL COLOR
WITH A RETINOL COLOR COMPLEX
INFUSING DULL HAIR
WITH NEW LIFE, NEW VIBRANCY
NEW SHINE.
AND REVITALIQUE GOES BEYOND
OTHER HAIRCOLORS
WITH A DAILY PROTECTANT
TO STRENGTHEN AND REVITALIZE
BETWEEN COLORINGS.
REVITALIQUE AGE-DEFYING COLOR.
SO ADVANCED,
IT COULD ONLY COME FROM CLAIROL.
LOOK OUT BELOW !
[ Grunts ]
AND WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY
MAY MAKE YOU BLUSH,
SO BRACE YOURSELF.
LET'S FACE IT,
CLEANING IS MY JOB.
KLEENEX COTTONELLE
WITH CUSHY RIPPLES.
FEELING CLEANER
IS THE BOTTOM LINE.
@
JERRY: TA-DA.
BOBBIE: OH.
OH, JERRY.
THIS IS LOVELY.
JERRY: WELL, IT'S SOMEWHAT
DEPLETED.
SOMEONE'S BEEN EATING MY CAVIAR.
BOBBIE: GOLDILOCKS?
JERRY: I'M INTO REDHEADS,
MYSELF.
BESIDES, NOBODY KNEW ABOUT THIS
EXCEPT MY BROTHER.
BOBBIE: OH, WELL,
SO, DO YOU THINK --
JERRY: TWO PLATES,
TWO FORKS,
TWO GLASSES,
ONE WITH LIPSTICK.
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO TIE HIM
TO A METAL CHAIR AND GRILL HIM
UNDER A BARE LIGHTBULB.
BOBBIE: DON'T YOU DARE.
JERRY: SOMEONE'S BEEN EATING
MY SUPPER.
I HAVE EVERY REASON TO ASK WHO.
BOBBIE: JAX AND A FRIEND.
WHY NOT LEAVE IT AT THAT.
YOU KNOW, THIS IS A VERY
DELICATE STAGE.
JERRY: IN MY RELATIONSHIP
WITH MY BROTHER?
OR JAX'S POTENTIAL ROMANCE?
BOBBIE: BOTH.
BESIDES, DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING
BETTER TO DO THAN TO DELVE
INTO JAX'S PERSONAL LIFE?
JERRY: NOT THAT I CAN
THINK OF.
LUKE: MMM.
BABY, I AM DOWN WITH
YOUR COFFEE.
TAMMY: WELL, YOU WERE EASY
TO PLEASE, AND I LIKE THAT
HE HAVE PUT UP WITH ME?
TAMMY: OH, I THOUGHT YOU SAID
THAT --
MIKE: YEAH, WELL, I'VE GOT
MY OWN JOINT NOW.
BUT IT'S BEEN A LONG AND WINDING
ROAD.
LUKE: HASN'T IT, PAL?
MIKE: WHEW.
LUKE: SPEAKING OF THAT,
WHAT DO YOU HEAR FROM SONNY?
I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM AROUND.
MIKE: HE'S -- HE'S OUT
OF TOWN.
LUKE: AGAIN?
MIKE: YEAH.
WELL, HE SAID HE'D BE BACK
IN A COUPLE OF DAYS.
LUKE: OH.
THEN IT ISN'T PERMANENT THIS
TIME.
MIKE: I HOPE NOT.
LUKE: WELL, THAT'S GOOD
TO HEAR.
MIKE: WELL, YOU KNOW,
ONE GOOD THING ABOUT THIS
KIDNAPPING FLAP IS ALL THE EXTRA
SECURITY IT'S GOING TO PROVIDE.
I MEAN, IF MORENO TRIES TO GET
TO SONNY OR TO JASON, HE'S GOT
TO GO THROUGH PCPD'S FINEST
FIRST, YOU KNOW.
LUKE: MM-HMM.
MIKE: OK, HEY, NEXT TIME,
EGG SALAD.
TAMMY: I WILL WORK ON THAT.
MIKE: WELL, IF IT'S HALF
AS GOOD AS YOUR TUNA SALAD,
YOU GOT A FRIEND FOR LIFE, DOLL.
ALL RIGHT?
LUKE: OH, THAT SOUNDS LIKE
A THREAT.
[MIKE LAUGHS]
MIKE: BYE-BYE.
LUKE: HIT ME AGAIN, BABY.
THIS COFFEE IS FINE.
TAMMY: THAT WAS SONNY
CORINTHOS' FATHER?
LUKE: YEAH.
TAMMY: IS MR. CORINTHOS
TAKING OVER AGAIN?
LUKE: IT COULD HAPPEN.
TAMMY: WELL, YOU KNOW,
THE WORKING GIRLS ARE GOING
TO BE REALLY GLAD TO HEAR THAT
BECAUSE HE ALWAYS LEFT US ALONE.
LUKE: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT
WALKING OUT ON ME, TAMMY.
I'VE HAD ONE TOO MANY LOSSES
LATELY.
JASON: SONNY, CARLY LOVES
MICHAEL.
I KNOW -- I KNOW YOU DON'T SEE
IT, BUT SHE DOES.
I CAN'T DISAPPEAR WITHOUT GIVING
HER A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN.
SONNY: YOU MEAN LIE?
THE WAY SHE LIED ABOUT YOU?
I WASN'T EVEN GOING TO TELL
YOU THIS, BUT I'M GOING TO TELL
YOU -- CARLY SAID YOU ABUSED
HER, THREATENED HER,
INTIMIDATED HER LIFE PHYSICALLY.
THAT SHE AND MICHAEL WERE
PRISONERS OF FEAR.
JASON: WHAT, THE COPS SAID
THIS?
SONNY: NO, NO.
SHE -- I HEARD IT MYSELF.
ALEXIS SAID THAT CARLY NEEDED
TO BE ON YOUR SIDE, SO I WENT
TO SEE HER.
I FOUND HER IN THE BIGGEST
BEDROOM AT THE QUARTERMAINE
MANSION, CRYING ON A.J.'S
SHOULDER ABOUT WHAT A VIOLENT,
DANGEROUS CRIMINAL YOU ARE.
WHEN I TOLD HER I WAS GOING
TO CALL YOU, SHE SHOWED UP
AT THE PENTHOUSE TO GET
THE NUMBER SO SHE COULD CALL
YOU FIRST.
NOW, I BET YOU'RE THINKING,
"OH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
MAYBE SHE JUST WANTED
TO EXPLAIN."
CARLY OFFERED ME A DEAL.
SOMETHING ABOUT, YOU KNOW,
YOU CAN WORK FOR ME
WHILE SHE AND MICHAEL LIVE
AT THE QUARTERMAINES.
SHE WAS SURE SHE COULD GET
YOU TO COOPERATE, THEN SHE TRIED
TO GET ME TO COOPERATE --
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING
ABOUT.
HMM?
SHE'D HAVE DONE ME ON
THE PENTHOUSE FLOOR, JASON.
YOU OWE HER NOTHING!
JASON: I OWE HER A CHANCE
TO EXPLAIN.
SONNY, I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'RE
SAYING IS TRUE, BUT I DON'T KNOW
THAT YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT WHY
CARLY DID IT, AND I WON'T UNTIL
SHE TELLS ME.
SONNY: BY THAT TIME
THE QUARTERMAINES ARE GOING
TO HAVE MICHAEL, AND THEN WHAT'S
GOING TO HAPPEN?
JASON: THAT'S FINE.
I'LL TAKE HIM BACK AND I'LL RUN.
SONNY: THERE'S NO GUARANTEE
THAT YOU'RE GOING TO GET AWAY
CLEAN THIS TIME.
JASON: I'M MICHAEL'S FATHER
BECAUSE I LOVE HIM,
NOT BECAUSE I HAD SEX
WITH HIS MOTHER.
SOMEDAY
I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO EXPLAIN
THAT TO HIM.
AND I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO PRAY
THAT HE UNDERSTOOD
AND DIDN'T HATE ME FOR IT.
IF I TAKE MICHAEL NOW,
I'LL HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT I TOOK
HIM FROM HIS MOTHER
BECAUSE I DIDN'T LIKE THE WAY
SHE FOUGHT TO KEEP HIM.
THAT HE HAS ANOTHER NAME,
ANOTHER LIFE,
ANOTHER FAMILY.
AND HE WILL HATE ME.
AND THAT'S IT.
AND THEN I'LL HAVE NOTHING.
I CAN'T DO THAT TO HIM.
I WON'T MAKE MICHAEL'S LIFE
A LIE.
NOT IF THERE'S ANY OTHER WAY.
JUST BECAUSE
THE HOLIDAYS ARE OVER,
DOESN'T MEAN YOUR FAMILY...
HAS TO GIVE UP THE FRENCH'S
GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE,
MADE WITH THE DELICIOUS,
CRISPY CRUNCH...
OF FRENCH'S FRENCH FRIED ONIONS.
SO MAKE 'EM HAPPY,
AND MAKE IT AGAIN.
ü SMILE, YOU'VE GOT FRENCH'S üü
GOT A NEW PRODUCT HERE,
AND ALL I WANNA DO
IS WASH YOUR HAIR. HI !
HERE IN BEAUTIFUL DOWNTOWN MIAMI
TO FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK
ABOUT NEW PERT PLUS.
GONNA ASK THIS LADY.
EXCUSE ME, MA'AM !
EXCUSE ME ! HEP ! HI !
COULD I ASK YOU A COUPLE
OF QUESTIONS ? DO YOU MIND ?
OKAY, HAVE YOU EVER USED
A SHAMPOO AND A CONDITIONER
ALL IN THE SAME BOTTLE ?
YES, I HAVE.
OKAY !
- WHAT'D YOU THINK OF 'EM ?
- I HATED 'EM.
- I DON'T LIKE 'EM.
- IT'S NOT GOOD.
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED
ONE OF THOSE SHAMPOOS
AND CONDITIONERS IN ONE ?
UH-HUH. I HATE THOSE.
YEAH ? WHAT'D YOU
THINK OF-- ? YOU HATE--
YOU DON'T LIKE 'EM AT ALL ?
WHY NOT ? WHY ?
- MY HAIR FEELS--
- THEY LEAVE A,
LIKE A BUILD-UP.
- IT'S BUILD-UP.
- BUT I GO AN ALL NEW VERSION...
OF PERT PLUS
WITH CLEAN CONDITIONING.
- YEAH.
- YOU'RE GONNA SHAMPOO
MY HAIR RIGHT HERE ?
IRONICALLY ENOUGH,
YEAH. BUT THIS STUFF
SINCE THEY RE-DID IT,
I-IT'S BEEN REVOLUTIONARILY,
LIKE, REDESIGNED AND HAS
WATER-BASED CONDITIONING.
THERE'S NO BUILD UP,
SO YOUR HAIR'S GONNA
FEEL CLEAN, CLEAN !
- FEELS GREAT.
- FEELS GREAT.
- IT FEELS GREAT.
I MEAN, I CAN FEEL THE VOLUME
JUST LIKE-- AND THE SOFTNESS.
- I LOVE IT.
- OH, MY GOSH.
- LIGHT.
- IT'S SO SOFT.
- IT'S WONDERFUL.
HEY, THAT'S PERT PLUS
WITH CLEAN CONDITIONING.
FANTASTIC.
IF WE CAN WASH YOUR HAIR,
WE CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND.
EXCUSE ME ! EXCUSE ME !
INTRODUCING CHICKEN VOILA!
SEASONED,
GRILLED CHICKEN BREAST,
TENDER PASTA...
AND BIRDS EYE VEGETABLES,
ALL IN ONE BAG.
CHICKEN VOILA!
ONE SKILLET, TEN MINUTES,
AND SO SIMPLE,
IT ALMOST PREPARES ITSELF.
HOW SWEET.
YOU MADE DINNER.
MMM !
CHICKEN VOILA! FROM BIRDS EYE.
BRING A LITTLE--
- WOW !
- TO YOUR TABLE.
SIS, I SNOOPED
IN YOUR MEDICINE
CABINET.
SO?
YOU SWITCHED
TO EX-LAX.
YEAH. CORRECTOL WORKS
WITH SOMETHING ARTIFICIAL.
EX-LAX WORKS WITH
NATURAL SENNA.
VERY EFFECTIVELY, TOO.
YOU TRIED IT?
WHAT A FIND.
WHAT A SNOOP.
LUKE: OH, MAMA, DON'T EVEN
TRY TO TELL ME YOU ARE NOT USED
TO PRAISE.
TAMMY: NOT FOR MY COOKING,
NO.
GARTH.
HI.
LUKE: GARTH?
TONY: ARE YOU WORKING HERE?
THAT'S, LIKE, THE HAPPIEST NEWS
I'VE HAD IN WEEKS.
LUKE: GARTH?
TAMMY: IF YOU START RAGGING
ON MY FORMER PROFESSION --
TONY: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
I'M HAPPY FOR ME.
IT MEANS I HAVE A FRIENDLY PLACE
I CAN EAT.
LUKE: YEAH, WHERE THEY GREET
YOU WITH YOUR ALIAS.
TAMMY: I KNOW WHO HE IS.
HE'S A FRIEND OF ROY'S.
TONY: ALAN IS ROY.
LUKE: OH, ALAN IS ROY
AND YOU'RE GARTH.
WELL, WHY DON'T WE ALL CHANGE
OUR NAMES?
YOU LOOK LIKE A MARGUERITE
TO ME.
AND TODAY, I -- I BELIEVE I'M
GOING TO BE BART.
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]
BILLY JOE BART OUT IN TENNESSEE.
TONY: AND HOW DO YOU KNOW
TAMMY?
LUKE: WELL, WE GO SO FAR
BACK, GARTH, YOU WOULDN'T EVEN
BELIEVE IT.
IF YOU'RE HERE FOR CHOW,
SHE'LL GET YOU SOMETHING TO EAT.
TONY: NO, I'M LOOKING
FOR BOBBIE.
LUKE: [NORMAL VOICE]
WELL, THAT PROBABLY EXPLAINS WHY
SHE SAID SHE WOULDN'T BE
IN TODAY.
TONY: ALL I WANT IS A HEARING
DATE THAT'S ON A DAY CONVENIENT
FOR YOUR SISTER.
I'M REPETITIONING THE COURT
FOR VISITATION RIGHTS
WITH MY SON, AND YOU WOULD DO
THE SAME THING IF YOU WERE
IN MY PLACE.
LUKE: WELL, YOU'RE PROBABLY
RIGHT.
I PROBABLY WOULD,
DOC EXRO-IN-LAW.
AND YOU KNOW, YOU AND YOUR SON
HAVING VISITATION RIGHTS
WITH A THIRD PARTY PRESENT IS
NOT A PROBLEM FOR ME AND IT'S
NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
BUT IF YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING
TO REOPEN THAT CUSTODY BATTLE
THING AND PUT MY SISTER THROUGH
MORE HELL, THEN YOU'RE GOING
TO HAVE TROUBLE WITH BILLY JOE
BART AND HIS BROTHER BILLY BOB.
YEAH.
[GLASSES CLINK]
BOBBIE: I'M BEGINNING
TO THINK THIS WAS WORTH
THE WAIT.
JERRY: EVEN SADDLED
WITH STEFAN FOR THE NIGHT?
BOBBIE: OH, WELL, THAT WASN'T
SO BAD.
IT WAS TORTURE, ALL RIGHT.
I MAY NEVER RECOVER
FROM THE STRAIN.
JERRY: I KNOW JUST THE THING
TO REVIVE YOU.
MAC: IF YOU POISON MY WIFE,
YOU'RE FIRED.
TAGGERT: SHE'S, UM --
GETTING HER COLOR BACK.
FELICIA: IT'S NOT SO BAD.
WHAT WAS IN IT?
TAGGERT: EGG WHITES AND SOME
OTHER THINGS YOU PROBABLY DON'T
WANT TO KNOW ABOUT.
FELICIA: YOU'RE RIGHT.
I FEEL BETTER.
LET'S NOT RUIN IT.
TAGGERT: ONE PROBLEM DOWN,
ONE TO GO.
WE STILL DON'T HAVE A FIX
ON CORINTHOS.
MAC: TRUST ME, SONNY WILL BE
BACK.
TAGGERT: IN THE MEANTIME,
WE BLEW A GOOD SHOT AT TRAILING
HIM TO MORGAN.
MAC: SO WE TAKE ANOTHER TACK.
THERE'S A COFFEE WAREHOUSE DOWN
ON PIER 52.
THE OWNERS HAVE MYSTERIOUSLY
DISAPPEARED.
WE GET A SEARCH WARRANT,
AND WITH ANY LUCK, WHEN SONNY
RETURNS, WE'LL MAKE HIM A GUEST
OF THE STATE.
SONNY: I NEVER HELD MY CHILD.
HE WAS NEVER ANYTHING MORE THAN
A POSSIBILITY,
AND I STILL MISS HIM.
YOU THINK YOU HURT FOR ROBIN?
JUST THINK HOW MUCH YOU'LL HURT
FOR MICHAEL, HOW MUCH MICHAEL'S
GOING TO HURT FOR YOU.
YOU'RE ALL THE LOVE THAT KID'S
EVER KNOWN.
HE NEEDS YOU ME THAN HE'LL
EVER NEED ANYBODY.
MARIA: HE WON'T TAKE HIS BATH
WITHOUT DADA.
JASON: I WAS AFRAID OF THAT.
COME HERE.
MARIA: I'M SORRY.
JASON: HEY.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
SONNY: MICHAEL KNOWS WHAT
HE WANTS.
YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU GOT
TO DO.
I'LL MISS YOU,
BUT DON'T COME BACK.
[MICHAEL FUSSES]
SONNY: HEY.
HEY.

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