Days of Our Lives Transcript Monday 1/28/02
By Amanda
Proofread By Niki
[Knock on door] [Knock]
Austin: Mom. Glad you could come over.
Kate: Hey, sweetie. I'm always here for you. You know that. It's not often that I get a call at this late hour from my busy executive son.
Austin: Yeah. So how are things going over at Basic Black? You know, you and John getting along okay?
Kate: Oh, yes. Hand in glove. But I don't think that you called me at this hour to discuss my job, did you?
Austin: Family stuff.
Kate: Oh, I see. Hmm, let me guess -- Sami, hmm? Sami -- trouble in paradise.
Austin: No, I wouldn't put it that way.
Kate: I warned you, didn't I? Hmm?
Sami: I love you, Austin, but you are wrong about this. Wrong, wrong, wrong. [Knock on door]
Sami: Ow! Aah! Ow! Aah, man. Hi, Dad.
Roman: What's the matter? You hurt?
Sami: Yeah, I tripped over Will's truck.
Roman: Well, wait a minute. You paged me, you yanked me off the job because you tripped over one of your son's toys?
Sami: I'm going to have a big fat bruise.
Roman: Sami, listen to me. I was out in a patrol car. This is a very important case. You said it was urgent.
Sami: It is.
Roman: I don't have a lot of time for small stuff here.
Sami: Look, Dad, this isn't small, I promise. It's about Austin.
Roman: What's happening with Austin?
Sami: He's about to ruin everything, Dad, and you have to promise me you're going to take my side
Jack: I'll thank you to leave my women alone.
Jennifer: Your women?
Greta: Excuse me?
Brandon: Since when did you become Greta and Jennifer's personal bodyguard?
Jack: Since when did you start breaking and entering with your sister? Since when did you take up the family trade and become jewel thieves?
Jennifer: You know, you are so out of line right now, Jack.
Greta: They're only glass, Jack.
Brandon: You hear that?
Greta: But they have sentimental value nonetheless.
Jack: My point stands!
Nicole: Look, I am not interested in Greta's trinkets, and as far as breaking and entering, it is my apartment. My name is on the lease.
Greta: My sublet is not up yet? You gave me three days' notice. I don't have to move out tonight.
Nicole: What's the difference?
Greta: Because this is my home. You have no right to come in here and touch my stuff.
Nicole: I was just giving you a helping hand.
Greta: Your hands all over my stuff -- the very thought of it makes me shiver. [Blows whistle]
Jack: Aah! My eardrums!
Jennifer: Brandon, where did you get that whistle?
Brandon: Comes in handy when some of my clients get out of hand.
Greta: I am not a child.
Brandon: I'm glad to hear it.
Greta: And I'd appreciate you not blowing that thing in the confines of my home.
Nicole: My home.
Brandon: Fine. Then let's talk about this like grownups. I want everybody to take a deep breath.
Jack: Uh-oh, quick, duck. Therapy alert. Here comes the psychobabble.
Brandon: Let's go one at a time -- Jack, take a breath -- say what it is we're doing here and what our goals are.
Jack: Oh, counselor, I -- I feel your pain. I feel our pain. I feel our pain.
Jennifer: Stop it.
Jack: Group hug.
Jennifer: That is not nice. Now, Brandon is right. Okay, Brandon, why don't you go first?
Brandon: Gladly.
Jennifer: Okay.
Brandon: I am here because my sister asked me to move her stuff in. I didn't anticipate a conflict. I thought that Greta had already moved out.
Greta: I can't imagine why Nicole would think I had moved out, seeing that I hadn't turned in the keys yet, which would have been a clue that I was moving out early, which I am not.
Jack: Score one for the Princess!
Greta: And you know what? You could have called first to see that I was still here or not.
Jack: Score two!
Nicole: This is not a sports match.
Jack: It certainly is not. It's very serious. The Princess's rights have been violated, and for that reason, I'm going to stop beating around the bush and call the police.
Jennifer: No, no, no. No, you're not. Will you cut it out?
Jack: Stand aside, Jennifer. I'm going to have some intruders arrested.
Jennifer: Why are you deliberately trying to make this worse?
Jack: You know something? I think that we should take a complete inventory of all the Princess's jewelry and everything, and then call the p-- a lawyer, yes, that's right. Good idea -- a lawyer. This could end up in court, and the Princess may never have to leave this apartment.
Jennifer: Are you stirring up trouble so that Greta doesn't have to move in with us, Jack?
Jack: Nonsense.
Jennifer: Don't you dare make that call.
Greta: Unbelievable. Unbelievable. The crystal on my Tweety Bird watch has been broken. Somebody must have stepped on it.
Nicole: Yeah, it was probably Jack.
Jack: I did no such thing.
Greta: You know, I bought the thing on a lark, but it made me smile every time I looked at it.
Nicole: Aw. I'm sure you and Tweety have a lot in common -- bird brains.
Jack: Who are you to impugn the intelligence of a Princess? What -- just -- if you like your Tweety Bird watch, that is just fine.
Jennifer: This is just getting ridiculous.
Brandon: You want to get out of here?
Jennifer: Yes. Let's go.
Brandon: All right.
Jack: I know you're angry. I know that. I -- these are the kind of things that cannot be replaced.
Jennifer: [Sighs] Goodness.
Brandon: You want to go somewhere quiet? We could have a drink.
Jennifer: Yes, I'd love to. Let me -- you know, let me call my sitter and tell her that I'm going to be late.
Brandon: Okay.
Jennifer: And, uh... Thank you.
Brandon: For what?
Jennifer: For being sane and for keeping cool and for not taking Jack's bait. I really admire you for that.
Austin: I hate to disappoint you, but Sami and I are not breaking up. The wedding is still on. All systems are go.
Kate: So what's the problem, then?
Austin: It's about Lucas.
Kate: Did you get a phone call?
Austin: No, no. I mean, I got all my information from you, so I'm --
Kate: Oh, God. You know, every time that phone rings, I think it's about Lucas.
Austin: You've been great, Mom -- flying back and forth to San Diego.
Kate: Well, um, it's difficult, you know? It's difficult to see your son in that condition.
Austin: So how do you pass the time?
Kate: Um... I tell him what's going on, you know? I keep it upbeat. I always wear the same perfume so Lucas can smell it, and hopefully he knows it's me.
Austin: You're amazing.
Kate: Mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh. I'm just a mom. [Sighs] You know, I remember one Christmas when he came home from military school, and he had on a brand-new uniform. Every time he walked into the room, I'd salute him. I remind him of things like that -- happier times.
Austin: Do you bring up Will?
Kate: Oh, yeah, I do. I always tell him that Will is great. I don't let him know that Sami won't even let me see Will. One time, I, um... I fibbed and I told him that Will had sent him a big hug and a kiss, and his hand moved in mine.
Austin: Wow. That's encouraging.
Kate: Yeah. Yeah, there have been other reflex actions, you know? And it, um... They're small things, but they give me hope. 'Cause I do believe that he's going to get better. I have to.
Austin: I hope so, too, Mom.
Kate: Oh.
Austin: I hope so, too.
Kate: Thank you.
Austin: Is it scary when you visit him?
Kate: Scary? How?
Austin: Yeah, okay -- does he look bad? Has he lost a lot of weight?
Kate: No. No, he looks beautiful. All of his burns have healed, and, um... He's a little thin, but, uh... He looks just like himself.
Austin: That's good.
Kate: Mm.
Austin: That's good.
Kate: Why are you asking? Are you afraid to see him?
Austin: Me? No, no. I'm not talking about myself. Do you think it'd be okay for Will? Do you think Will could handle it?
Kate: Will? Has he been asking to see his father?
Austin: That's all he talks about lately.
Kate: Really? Have you been encouraging him?
Austin: No, it had nothing to do with me. He came up with the idea all by himself.
Kate: Austin, Austin, I can't tell you what this would mean to Lucas. I mean, for him to hear his little boy's voice -- Austin, all of the nurses, they all say that they believe he can hear everything around him, and believe me, this would give him the motivation he needs to recover.
Austin: Yeah. I think maybe you're right
Kate: Wait a minute. Now what about Sami? She swore she would never let Will visit his father. How does the little witch stand on this?
Roman: Look, I don't have a lot of time. What's up?
Sami: Okay, well, I need your advice about men.
Roman: Meaning Austin.
Sami: Yeah, well, Austin, Lucas, Will.
Roman: What's Will got to do with this?
Sami: He's been begging me to take him to San Diego. He wants to see his father in that rehab facility.
Roman: I see. Well, that, uh... That could be kind of rough on a kid Will's age.
Sami: Exactly. Thank you.
Roman: Unless you prepare him. Just tell him his daddy's asleep, he won't be able to speak or answer back. That way, Will doesn't go in with such high expectations.
Sami: No, Dad. There's still going to be machines and doctors. It's going to give Will nightmares. I know it is.
Roman: Sami, just listen, all right? Just let him hold his father's hand for a moment, okay? Just say, "daddy, I love you. Please wake up and come back to us."
Sami: I don't want Lucas to wake up. I want Will to think Austin is his father. I want him to love Austin and forget that Lucas even exists.
Roman: How can you say that?
Sami: Easy.
Roman: Sami, Lucas is always going to be Will's father. You can't change that.
Sami: I know that, that's the P.C. thing to say --
Roman: It's not about being politically correct. It's the simple truth, okay?
Sami: I say let him rot.
Roman: Will you get a grip?
Sami: Dad, how can you even defend him? I mean, you don't even like Lucas, either.
Roman: Maybe not, but I respect the fact that he's Will's father. My God, he gave him life. They always will have a bond, Sami. You can't erase that -- not unless you want to do serious damage to your son. Can't you see that?
[Piano jazz music playing]
Jennifer: I'll have white wine, please. No, wait. You know what? That's what I always have. Things are going to be different from now on. I am breaking all of my old patterns. I-I will have A... I'll have a White Russian.
Brandon: And I'll have a beer, please.
Man: Domestic or imported?
Brandon: Whatever you have on tap.
Man: All right.
Jennifer: No, wait a minute. You know what? I'm going to have a cosmopolitan.
Brandon: Ha ha.
Jennifer: Really. You know, that's what the girls on "Sex and The City" drink. They drink cosmos. Well, from now on, I want to be like them. I want to be free. I want to be independent and in control of my life.
Brandon: Well, maybe I should take off, then. I don't want to cramp your style.
Jennifer: No, no, no. You stay right there.
Brandon: Are you sure? 'Cause the guys at the bar almost got whiplash when you walked in the door.
Jennifer: Get out of here. They weren't looking at me.
Brandon: I don't think you realize the effect you have on men. I'll give them the all clear signal and you can find out for yourself.
Jennifer: Brandon, no, stop. Sit down. Sit down. I don't want to be that free, believe me.
Brandon: You are more attractive than all of those "Sex and The City" girls rolled into one.
Jennifer: Yeah, I'm sure.
Brandon: They're pop-tarts. You're a real lady.
Jennifer: I'm a lady? I mean -- I mean, like a matron lady? Like a boring old-fashioned lady?
Brandon: Fishing for more compliments, are we?
Jennifer: No, I -- yes. I just -- I don't -- I don't even know myself right now, Brandon. I don't know who I am. I don't -- I don't know who I should be.
Brandon: You're golden. I don't mean just your hair. I mean inside. You have a -- you have a golden light and a stillness about you.
Jennifer: Even when I'm barging into Greta's apt-- well, Nicole's apartment? Even when I'm yelling at Jack and just making a nuisance of myself?
Brandon: What was that about, anyway?
Jennifer: You don't want to know. It is so bizarre.
Brandon: Bizarre?
Jennifer: Yeah, and it's about to get more so.
Brandon: In what way?
Jennifer: You know what? You really don't want to know, Brandon.
Brandon: Okay.
Jennifer: You know, I-I thought it was so bizarre when Jack and I moved in together, but I thought that it would be good for Abby, you know? But then right away, he had all of these other ideas. You know, he thought that we would be remarried by now, but then he ricochets, you know? Like, he proposes to me, and then he tells me that he's going to marry Greta.
Brandon: He what?
Jennifer: Yeah. I mean, he wants me to think that he and the Princess are hot and heavy, but anyone who looks at them knows they're not. I mean, you can see when they're together -- they don't act like they're hot for each other. But there is definitely something really weird going on between those two.
Jack: Jennifer didn't even say goodbye.
Nicole: Can you blame her?
Jack: I apologize for her, Greta, for leaving you in this moment of crisis.
Greta: At least she took Brandon and his whistle with her.
Jack: Yeah, I'd like to fix his little whistle.
Greta: Perhaps you could be so kind as to follow your brother's example, Nicole, and scram.
Nicole: This is my turf, Princess. Can't you hole up in one of your royal palaces somewhere? I mean, why do you want my apartment?
Greta: I put my heart into this apartment, Nicole. I filled this place with my energy. It has a lot of my memories here.
Nicole: Thanks for reminding me. You know, I'm going to hire an exorcist to come in here and cleanse the place.
Jack: Come to think of it, what do you need this place for anyway? We'll go out and we'll get you the best penthouse in the best hotel in town and then order room service. Champagne. You'll love it.
Greta: I am not moving into a hotel, Jack.
Jack: Only until you get the best villa in town with a view of the river.
Greta: Do not push me. Do not push me. I am not leaving. It is the principle of the matter that concerns me the most.
Jack: Principle, schminciple.
Greta: It is bad enough that Nicole invoked the fine print of the sublease, giving me only 72 hours to move out, and I am taking every minute of it. I am not moving out on her timetable.
Nicole: Greta, put a sock in it.
Jack: Why, you surly little wench. How dare you speak to my woman that way?
Greta: You know, I am not your woman, Jack, so just knock it off. Jennifer is not here anymore.
Nicole: Oh, somehow I knew you were full of it.
Jack: Princess, what are you saying? I'm your knight in shining armor. I will always come to your defense.
Greta: This isn't helping, Jack.
Jack: I'm you’re Sir Francis Bacon, ready to off my doublet at your feet.
Greta: Walter Raleigh.
Jack: Bacon.
Nicole: All right, all right, all right, whoever you are, could you get over yourself? You know, I hate to break this to you, buddy, but in this deck of cards, you're the joker.
Jack: I beg your pardon.
Nicole: Greta, can't you find someone better than this clown to fight your battles for you?
Greta: How dare you call Jack a clown? I'll have you know he has a very sophisticated sense of humor, and he's one of my dearest friends.
Nicole: Every guy you date winds up being your "friend," just like Austin and Eric. I mean, tell me something. Have you ever had a relationship that wasn't platonic?
Greta: You know what? I'm not gonna discuss this with you.
Nicole: Do you ever get down to the nitty-gritty?
Jack: The Princess and I are passionately devoted to each other.
Nicole: And I'm the pope.
Jack: It's not something you would understand.
Nicole: I understand plenty. You are using her.
Greta: That is not true. Jack is a very honorable person.
Nicole: Jack is a parasite. He's only out for himself.
Greta: If anyone is a parasite, it's you, Nicole, living off your sugar daddy Victor Kiriakis.
Nicole: I work hard for a living.
Greta: Yeah, I'd say. He's older than me.
Nicole: I have a legitimate job heading up Titan Enterprises. What have you ever done, Greta, huh, besides sponge off your inheritance?
Greta: Wait a minute. Was it your idea to move back in here, or did Victor kick you out? Is that the reason you're in such a big hurry?
Nicole: [Scoffs]
Jack: I think you may be on to something, Princess. What's the matter, old man give you the boot? Is that why you're so mean and nasty?
Nicole: My relationship with Victor is none of your business, and don't you go spreading rumors, Princess, or I'll sue your regal butt.
Jack: Ooh, methinks the lady doth protest too much.
Nicole: I can tell you this much. I am in charge of my life. I call the shots. So you better back off, buddy, before I punch your lights out.
Jack: Why, you rude little guttersnipe.
Nicole: I might be rude, but you've got a screw loose, wacko Jacko. No wonder Jennifer couldn't wait to ditch you.
Jennifer: Mmm! Whoo!
Brandon: Well, how do you like it?
Jennifer: It's sweet, so I'm assuming it's very strong.
Brandon: Just think of it as pink truth serum.
Jennifer: Oh. Well, then, in cosmos veritas.
Brandon: In cosmos veritas.
Jennifer: You know what? It would be great if I could slip Jack a little truth serum. You know, I don't know what he and Greta are up to, but --
Brandon: Well, you said you don't think they're really involved.
Jennifer: No, but he wants me to believe that they are.
Brandon: Would it bother you if they were?
Jennifer: They're not! Not at all. There is nothing going on. I mean, I shouldn't speak for Greta, because maybe she really is falling for Jack, but as far as Jack goes, you know, he's a talker. He talks the talk -- "oh, Greta, Princess, sweetheart" -- but he is not walking the walk, not with Greta.
Brandon: You sound pretty sure about that.
Jennifer: Brandon, it's body language. When there are intimate feelings between two people, there is a buzz in the air, you know, and there's just these little touches, and -- I mean, you know what I'm talking about.
Jennifer: See what I mean? You do know what I'm talking about. And this is definitely what is not happening between Jack and Greta.
Brandon: Enough about them.
Jennifer: Yeah, you're right. You're right. But you know what? I called his bluff tonight. I told him that Greta could move in with us.
Brandon: What?
Jennifer: Yes. Since she got evicted your sister's apartment, I said, "Greta, you move in with me and Jack and Abby in our house."
Brandon: Why?
Jennifer: Why? So I could get to the bottom of all of this.
Kate: Certainly this doesn't come as a surprise. You know as well as I do that Sami is hell-bent on keeping Will from his father.
Austin: We had a talk earlier this evening about Will going to visit Lucas in rehab. She's totally cool with it.
Kate: Oh. I see.
Austin: What? What's that look?
Kate: Well, she's going to let you think it's okay, but she has no intention of going along with it.
Austin: It's all settled.
Kate: Really?
Austin: Really.
Kate: Well, did she ask you to go with her? No, she thought it would be better if you stayed here, right?
Austin: No, I'm not getting into this with --
Kate: Oh, come on, Austin. Don't you see what's happening? She's gonna postpone it. Or maybe she'll make the reservation, but at the last moment, let's see... Will won't be able to fly because he has an earache. Or maybe she'll take the trip, but she won't visit Lucas. No, she won't visit him because she'll say they couldn't get in to see him on that particular day.
Austin: That's enough!
Kate: Don't fool yourself into thinking that this marriage to that little sneak is going to be dandy, because she is hell-bent on keeping Will away from his father. Will is your nephew, Austin. Lucas is his father. Don't you ever forget that.
Austin: I know, Mom. I make that very clear to him. I don't want him to ever forget Lucas -- ever.
Kate: Then take him to see his father, no matter what Sami says. You promise me that.
Kate: If anyone can force Sami to take Will to see his father, it's you.
Austin: If I back Sami into a corner, it'll make her feel like I don't trust her, and that will undermine everything I've been building with her.
Kate: Oh, my God, this is unbelievable. All these years, and you've learned nothing from experience? Austin, I don't know -- I don't know if you're some kind of saint or just foolish.
Austin: I have to believe. I have to believe in the possibility of growth and of change, and the power of --
Kate: What, of love? How could you possibly love a woman who won't let a child see his own father? Think of your brother, lying there day after day, trapped in a kind of limbo. He's helpless. He can't go to Will. But if you don't take that little boy to see his father, Lucas could very well die of a broken heart. Do you want that responsibility?
Brandon: Let me get this straight. You invited a woman you think Jack might be involved with...
Jennifer: But he's not really.
Brandon: Into your house?
Jennifer: Into our guest room. I mean, we do have a daughter.
Brandon: All so that you can find out their secrets?
Jennifer: Brandon, I told you it was bizarre, didn't I? But I know, I shouldn't have just blurted it out. I mean, I should have said it more delicately to you.
Brandon: What if they are having an affair?
Jennifer: No, not a chance.
Brandon: Or confiding in each other, as friends often do. People have secrets. It's a fact of life.
Jennifer: No, Jack is up to something, according to you.
Brandon: Jack is always up to something.
Jennifer: I think he's trying to con me.
Brandon: Well, he's certainly got your attention.
Jennifer: You know what? Greta might be in on it. I don't know. But I think if we're all in the same house under the same roof breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I can get to know her. You know, we can do that girl talk, we can do that little chitchat. And I know that I can get it out of her, whatever this big deal secret is.
Brandon: I'm really disappointed in you, Jennifer.
Jack: Jennifer did not ditch me.
Nicole: No? Then where is she, hmm? My guess is that your ex-wife got sick and tired of all this empty carrying on.
Greta: Jack is not empty. He is deep, true, and good.
Nicole: Oh! "I am your knight in shining armor, Princess! I'm a piece of bacon, and I'll fry myself for you."
Greta: You know, I understand why you can't appreciate Jack, because he's a man of his word. He's not devious like you. He would never lie to me.
Nicole: You don't think so?
Greta: No, I don't think so. In fact, I'm 100% sure he would not.
Nicole: Well, then you're dumber than I thought.
Jack: Oh, that is rich. That is really rich. You, who probably flunked out of high school! I mean, you are the most insufferable young woman I've ever met! You -- you have none of the finer points, none of them!
Jack: Oh, God, now what?
Nicole: You're right.
Jack: I-I am?
Nicole: I had a deprived childhood. No one cared about my education. No one helped me with my homework.
Greta: Jack, do not fall for this.
Nicole: You know, I've survived the best I can. God!
Jack: Well, uh... D-don't cry, okay? It's okay. Just --
Nicole: You know, my father was a thief, okay, just like you said. And now he is dead, and I am all alone.
Jack: Well, I mean -- you have your brother. That's something.
Nicole: I need a man in my life, Jack, someone to hold me. I've never had any real love.
Jack: Well, I -- well, I mean -- I mean, it's not too late.
Nicole: Am I really such a monster?
Jack: Well, uh... Yeah. But you're -- I mean, you're very attractive, and I'm sure you could put in more work on those other parts of yourself -- personality, charm, character.
Nicole: You think so?
Jack: Um... Maybe, maybe, yeah.
Nicole: Actually, I have a problem. I need lovin', Jack, you know? Huggin', touchin', feelin'. Have I left anything out?
Jack: Uh, well, there's, uh, uh... No, no, I think that pretty much covers it.
Nicole: Jack, shh. Stop talking.
Roman: Okay, you want my advice? I think the three of you should go visit Lucas as a family -- you, Austin, and Will.
Sami: Creepy.
Roman: Sami, here you are on the verge of having every damn thing you ever wanted -- the man you've always loved, a beautiful son, a happy family -- and I'm afraid you're gonna blow it unless you stop being so selfish.
Sami: Hey, now!
Roman: Look, you called me over to give you my opinion. Well, here it is. Stop being so damn self-absorbed. Put your son first. Grow up.
Sami: I think this was a mistake. I want you to leave.
Sami: Go.
Kate: You are my only hope, darling.
Austin: No pressure, right?
Kate: Well, think about what's at stake -- your brother's chance at recovery, Will's relationship with his dad. And you're the only one who can make it happen. Otherwise, Sami --
Austin: Don't. Don’t.
Kate: Do I have your word?
Austin: I gave Will my word that he would get his visit. I've never let him down. I'm not gonna start now.
Kate: Ah! You're a good man, and you're a good son and brother. I'm proud of you.
Austin: It's late. I got an early day tomorrow.
Kate: I know. I understand. So, um, you'll let me know, right, when you plan to fly to San Diego?
Austin: Why?
Kate: Well, I'd like to call the nurses who take care of Lucas. They know me. I could tell them that you're coming. That way, you could have a nice long visit without any interruptions.
Austin: I'll keep that in mind.
Kate: Okay. You know, I really want to see that this works out, that it goes smoothly for Will. You know, if I know when you're going, then perhaps I could arrange for a child psychologist to be there to talk to him before he goes into the room.
Austin: Yeah, that might be a really good idea.
Kate: Okay. Then you'll let me know?
Austin: Yeah, of course. Yeah.
Kate: Ah, sweetie. So, you know something? Thank you. I am going to sleep well tonight.
Austin: Good.
Kate: Okay. We'll talk soon?
Austin: Yeah. Yeah, of course.
Kate: Okay.
Austin: Good night.
Kate: Good night, sweetie.
Austin: Thanks for coming over.
Kate: Ah, I will be waiting for you in San Diego, because what kind of mother would I be if I didn't make sure that everything goes just the way it should?
Jennifer: Disappointed in me? Why? Jack's the one who asked Greta to move into the house. I just agreed, and you see, that is the last thing that he expected, and I am calling his bluff 'cause I am tired of him messing with my head, and I want to know what the truth is, so what is wrong with that?
Brandon: I don't want to hurt your feelings, Jennifer.
Jennifer: Oh, my gosh. You're angry.
Brandon: I'm just really disappointed that you agreed to go out with me in the first place. You're obviously not ready to be dating right now.
Jennifer: But I'm here, aren't I?
Brandon: You're at home with Jack and Greta, having breakfast, trying to figure out their secrets.
Jennifer: Oh, my gosh. I've bored you. I'm so sorry.
Brandon: You never bore me, but I can't help noticing you're totally preoccupied with your ex.
Jennifer: You're right. You're right. And I promised that I was not going to talk about him. Why -- why can't I just let go of the whole subject?
Brandon: You tell me.
Jennifer: You know why? It's the games -- it's the little games that he plays with me. I mean, you saw Jack in action tonight, right?
Brandon: Jack can be manic, sure, but maybe he's trying to move on with his life with someone else.
Jennifer: No. No, he is not. It is the same old same old.
Brandon: Bottom line -- from the moment we walked in here and sat down, you've talked of nothing else. Jack this, Jack that. If that's how our dates are going to be, it's not going to work for me.
Jennifer: Okay. Brandon, just wait, okay? I am sorry. I don't know why I am obsessing about this. Ooh, it just makes me so mad, you know? Jack, he dangled the bait, and I just swallowed it, hook, line, and sinker. How could I be so stupid? Okay, why can't I just relax and have a good time?
Brandon: You know, I think you need to be having this conversation with Jack, not me.
Jennifer: No. No, you see, he's not capable of having an authentic conversation, Brandon.
Brandon: I'm sorry, but when it comes to Jack, I'm just not interested.
Jennifer: Oh, gosh. Oh, wait, Brandon -- no, wait, wait. Don't go.
Jack: Uh, uh, I -- I'm -- I am shocked. Shocked. I have never had a woman force herself on me like that. I-I've never had a woman speak to me in such a lascivious manner.
Nicole: For your information, Jacko, you are the last man on this earth that I would ever sleep with.
Greta: Out!
Jack: Oh, uh...
Nicole: Greta, Warrior Princess.
Greta: I am warning you, Nicole.
Nicole: I'm scared.
Jack: Ooh! Aah! Careful, careful.
Nicole: You know, you sure can pick 'em. I mean, this guy is not only a wuss, he's a weirdo.
Jack: A weirdo? Weirdo?
Nicole: You know what? You two belong together. The Princess and her jester -- a couple of freaks.
Jack: Oh, no, no, no, no. Don't do it, Greta. Don’t. She's not worth it. She is not worth it.
Greta: Get out, Nicole!
Nicole: All right, all right, all right. I'm leaving, but I'll be back, and you better be history.
Jack: Oh, no, no, no, no.
Nicole: Oh, you know what? And don't mess with my furniture, okay? And just leave my clothes where they are, and... take your royal frumpery with you.
Greta: Aah! I cannot believe the nerve of that woman.
Jack: She called me a weirdo.
Greta: What am I going to do, Jack?
Jack: No one has ever called me a weirdo.
Greta: I'm about to be homeless, Jack.
Jack: Unique, yes. Eccentric, maybe, but never...
Greta: You know what? I didn't think it was going to come to this, I really didn't, but... I need your help.
Jack: Most women find me at least moderately attractive. I can be charming if I put my mind to it. I mean, I've been known to inspire palpitations of the heart. What is wrong with Nicole?
Greta: God!
Jack: And what's gotten into you?
Jennifer: Wait, wait. Just give me -- can you just sit down and hear me out, please? Okay. I fell into Jack's trap tonight, okay? But I really enjoy being with you. And this whole dating thing, I told you before, it's new for me, and -- and you know what? This little pink drink has gone to my head.
Brandon: You only said what was on your mind.
Jennifer: Look, Brandon, I, um... I don't want to mess this up, okay?
Brandon: I can't be just an ear for you.
Jennifer: No, I know. I know.
Brandon: I listen to people all day long. It's my job. When you and I go out, I want it to be a 2-way street.
Jennifer: And you know what? It will be. I promise you, from now on, I will never bring up Jack's name in your presence again.
Brandon: Yeah, well, that's not very practical.
Jennifer: I know, but I mean it.
Brandon: Jack is the father of your child, Jennifer. He's a big part of your life. He always will be.
Jennifer: Yeah, that's true.
Brandon: And I hate to see you so strung out over Jack and his tricks. You deserve so much better.
Jennifer: You know, Brandon, you're good for me. You know that?
Brandon: You need to be good to yourself.
Jennifer: Well, maybe you'll give me another chance.
Brandon: Sure. But when Jack dangles the bait, can you resist the urge to bite?
Jack: You shoved me.
Greta: You deserved it.
Jack: Why on earth would you do that? I am afraid that, that harpy's bad behavior has rubbed off on you.
Greta: Really? And I'm starting to think that maybe Nicole is right about a few things about you.
Jack: Pardon?
Greta: Do you ever think about anybody else but yourself, Jack?
Jack: Well, of course I -- I'm always on your side. Knight in shining armor and all that.
Greta: "Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me."
Jack: I'm sorry. I don't understand what you're getting at.
Greta: I want you to leave.
Jack: What?
Greta: Out the door, out of my life, and don't come back.
Roman: Sami, who the hell do you think you are, talking to me like that? I don't leave when you tell me to leave. I leave when I feel like it.
Sami: Sorry.
Roman: You better be. And don't you ever treat me like that again. You understand that? And when I make a suggestion to you, you listen, not only because I'm your father, but because at this point in time, I'm a hell of a lot smarter than you are.
Sami: You're right, Dad. I'm sorry. Please don't go.
Roman: Too late. I'm outta here. [Cellular phone rings] [ring] [ ring]
Roman: Yeah. Bo. Any word from Shawn and Belle? All right. Well, we'll go all night if we have to. I'm heading out there now.
Sami: Hey, Dad? I love you, but you're wrong.
Roman: Whoa! Hold the door!
Kate: Roman. How nice to see you.
Austin: I won't let you down, buddy boy. I promised I'd take you to see your daddy, and that's a promise I intend to keep.
Sami: Men. I might have known that dad would side with Austin. Well, they're both wrong. I can't let Will see Lucas. How am I going to put a stop to it?