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Provided By Stephanie Jennifer: Brandon, I just, um -- Waiter: Here we go. Brandon: Thank you. Waiter: You're welcome. Jennifer: Thank you. Waiter: You're welcome. Enjoy. Jennifer: Thanks. What I was going to say was --[Gasps] Brandon: Good shot. Jennifer: Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry. Brandon: You know, that's okay, that's okay. It was -- it was refreshing.. Jennifer: No, no. Gosh, I just burned your eyes out. I'm so sorry. Brandon: I will survive. Jennifer: Here. Um, here. Brandon: Thanks. Ahem. So, aside from being a little rusty with the dating thing... Jennifer: A little? My goodness. Brandon: Tell me everything there is to know about Jennifer Horton. Jennifer: What, in 100 words or less? Brandon: What's the rush? The night is young. Jack: Greta, please, please. Please don't go. Greta: I refuse to be a pawn in your game to make Jennifer jealous. Go find yourself another sucker. Philip: I could kiss you forever. Chloe: I feel so close to you right now, Philip. Philip: I feel the same way. I love you, Chloe. I love you. Philip: Chloe. Chloe: Well, thanks for the lift. Brady: No problem. Besides, Chloe, a girl like you should not be wandering the streets all by yourself this time of night. Chloe: I can take care of myself, Brady. Whoa, whoa. Where are you going? Brady: See Belle. I'm worried about her. Is that okay with you? Hawk: Keep it off the boards. Kick it out to me. Belle: That was a really sweet jump shot, Hawk. You have definitely got it going on tonight. Boy: Nothing but net, baby. Hawk: Nothing but net. Mimi: Rah-rah, go Panthers. Shawn-D: What are you doing, Mimi? Mimi: Pretending to be a cheerleader, not that I'd ever make the team. Besides, I can't do a split to save my life. What's with you? Oh, I get it. Girlfriend troubles? Belle: Have you been pumping up, Hawk? You're looking really buff. Hawk: I've been lifting, yeah. Belle: I can tell. Look at those arms. Hawk: That's nothing. Check this out. This here's what they call softball biceps. Belle: Wow.. Chloe: Okay, so why are you worried about Belle? Oh, it's because of that argument we overhead between your dad and Marlena, right? Brady: No, that's not it. Marlena was just trying to make a point, but she's not going to be sending Belle to boarding school. Chloe: Oh, good. Well, that must be a relief. Brady: Yes, yes, it is, definitely. Chloe: Well, thanks again for the ride. I'll see you later. Brady: Chloe, I’ll walk in with you. Oh, wait a second. You're worried that Philip might see us together. Chloe: Philip probably won't even be here. The doctor says he's not strong enough to play sports yet, and if he knows what's good for him, he's probably at home in bed. Brady: Yeah, but a daily dose of Chloe might just be what he needs. Chloe: [Sighs] I am here to support Belle and Shawn. That's it. Brady: Yeah, but you're hoping he might still show up. Chloe: The only one with Philip on his mind is you. I'd rather not think about him, okay? Philip: To hell with the doctor's orders. I got to see her. Susan: Boy, Chloe’s not letting any grass grow under her feet. Penelope: You think it's a date? Susan: Sure looks like it to me. I wonder what Philip thinks about it. Penelope: Hey, there's Kevin. Susan: Oh, did you want to go say hello? Kevin: Okay, everybody, don't rush over to say hello at once. Kevin: There she is. Kevin: Wow. Mimi: That's exactly what I was going to say. Kevin: That was different than the last time I kissed you. Mimi: Different how? Good? Kevin: Yeah, definitely. Mimi: Well -- well, let's try for better. Kevin: [Thinking] I know she likes me. Why am I so nervous? Shawn-D: Okay, would you look at those two? Mimi: What? They're enjoying Belle's company. A cheerleader's supposed to keep the players' morale up, you know? Shawn-D: Yeah, and that's all. Mimi: Face it, Shawn. Belle's always been a hit with the guys. Belle: You know, you guys are really going to bring the game home tonight. I can tell. Boy: Well, if you keep cheering, we'll keep winning. Belle: You can count on it. Boy: All right, come on, big dog. Hawk: Hey, you go on. I'll catch up to you, okay? Boy: All right. Hawk: So, Belle, I know -- I know you and Shawn are, like, hooked up or whatever but would you go out with me sometime? Jennifer: Gosh, I am just -- I have not been this nervous since Mr. Bodette's sociology class when he wanted us all to stand up and introduce ourselves. Brandon: Well, we can skip over that part. Jennifer: I wonder if it was Mrs. Brogan's Algebra II. Isn't that funny that I can't remember? I mean, not like it was yesterday or anything. Oh, my gosh, Brandon. Am I older than you? Brandon: Let's forget about how old we are. I want to know who you are. Give me the cliffs notes version if you want. Jennifer: Oh, my gosh. Do you remember cliffs notes? I remember once I had to do this book report on "Tess of the D’Urbervilles." And, you know, I was miss goody-two-shoes, so I just went through this book at a snail's pace -- you know, page after page. And my friends -- all my girlfriends got the cliffs notes, and they read them, and they finished their papers. But you know me -- I was determined to do the right thing. But then as I'm reading along in this book, Tess' wealthy distant cousin who later turns out not to be her cousin -- he takes her on this evening stroll, right? And they end up sitting under this tree -- beautiful oak tree. And the nightingales are singing, and the rabbits are hopping -- you know, the whole nine yards. Okay, four chapters later, she's giving birth. Now, this is the first indication that they have done anything more than kiss. So you know what I’m thinking? I'm thinking if Mr. Thomas Hardy can leave out all of that, I can break down and read the cliffs notes. I was a very rebellious teenager. Brandon: So where did this so-called rebellious streak land you after high school? Jennifer: Well, right into the arms of Jack Deveraux. He was my boss at "The Spectator" -- a bit unconventional, to say the least. But I guess that was attractive to me. Brandon: But not anymore? Jennifer: No, no, I’m looking for more stability right now, and I don't know if Jack is capable of offering that to Abby and me. What am I doing? I can't believe that I am out on a date talking about my ex-husband. Brandon: How old is your daughter? Jennifer: Oh, Abby -- she's 8. She's just a great kid. She's really smart and funny, really kind. I always tell her she's a heart with two legs. She gets a kick out of that. Brandon: Sounds like she gets a lot of love. You know, not all kids are as fortunate. Jennifer: Oh, Brandon, you're a pediatric counselor. That's right. That has to be incredibly rewarding. Brandon: I can't imagine doing anything else. Those kids are real special to me. You know, every day I work with them, they grow up a little, and so do I. Jennifer: You know, my mother is a psychiatrist, and when I was a kid, she really had some demons that she had to battle on her own. And it was difficult for all of us, but you know what? She sought help and she got through her treatments and she pulled through, and I'm really proud of her for that. Brandon: Sounds like the Horton women come from sturdy stock. Jennifer: Yes, they do. I have a lot to live up to. This is so funny. It sounds like I’m on "E! True Hollywood story" or something. Brandon: Hey, don't knock it. There's a lot to be said for the truth. Actually, I can tell more from the tone of your voice than I can from the facts. Jennifer: Is that so? Then what have you concluded? Brandon: That you have one of the most attractive qualities in a woman. Jennifer: And what is that? Brandon: Honesty. Greta: Look, trying to get Jennifer to remarry you again, it's -- well, it's just wrong, Jack, for both of you. I mean, you cannot offer the kind of relationship that she needs. I mean, I don't see how it's good for you either. Jack: Look, I wish I could tell you everything right now, but I can’t. You're going to have to trust that I’m doing this for all the right reasons. Greta: Oh, so I should just put on blinders and do as I'm told. I don't think so, Jack. Jack: Princess, I’ll be indebted to you for life. You and I -- we're -- we're... Synchronitiously matched. Greta: What? Jack: Kindred spirits, if you will. Rogers and Astaire, Tracy and Heyburn. Greta: Laurel, hardy. Jack: I will not let you trivialize our relationship. You mean a great deal to me, princess. In fact, truth be told, if Jennifer wasn't in my life, you could bet your bottom dollar I’d be swimming in your moat in a New York minute. Greta: You mean if you were straight, but you're not, Jack, and you never are going to be. Jack: Look, trust me. Someday when this crazy jigsaw puzzle comes together, you're going to see that it was all for the best. Greta: Really? Jack: I cannot predict the future any better than you can, but sometimes -- sometimes life is stranger than reality television. Greta: Well, you've got that beat by a mile, Jack. Sometimes I have no idea what you're saying. Jack: Just stick it out just a little bit longer, and I promise you, we'll all go down to the seaside. Greta: Maybe we will at that, Jack. Jack: Princess, you are the best. Come on. Jack: [Humming] Brandon, Jennifer. Jennifer: Jack. Jack: What a lovely surprise. Jennifer: This is no surprise. You knew that I would be here with Brandon. What kind of game are you playing? Jennifer: I thought the two of you were having dinner at Tuscany. Jack: Well, so did we. Unfortunately, I forgot to make the reservations. Well, that's what happens when I start thinking about my Princess. Common sense and reason just go right out the window. Jennifer: You parted with those traits long before you met Greta. Jack: Now, now, now. Let's keep this civil. Jennifer: You know what? Then keep your distance. Why don't you go have dinner at the Hutchins Street Diner? I hear they make a mean pot roast. Jack: But who could resist the ambiance of the Blue Note? Good music, good food, good friends. Jennifer: Look, Greta, would you mind if you and Jack went somewhere else this evening? Greta: Jennifer, for reasons that might be advantageous to your future, I'm afraid Jack and I -- we can't change our plans. Jack: Well said, Princess. Jennifer: Welcome to my Twilight Zone. Brandon: Well, this is one of the most unusual kick-offs to a date I’ve ever had. Jennifer: Brandon, I am so sorry. If you are having second thoughts about this date, I completely understand. Brandon: Oh, not at all. Jack, if you'll excuse us... Jack: Oh, by all means. All I've ever wanted was for Jennifer to be happy. Just as happy as Greta and I are. Right, sweetie? Greta: Who could wish for more? Jack: You all have a lovely evening. Greta: Trust me, it's all for the best. Brandon: You look worried. Jennifer: Yeah, I am. Brandon: He's still in love with you. You know that, don't you? Jennifer: You know what? Could we just not talk about Jack right now? Brandon: Aren't you the least bit curious as to why Greta kept saying it was for your own good, that they stay here at the blue note? Jennifer: Yes. Actually, I am. Jennifer: I just wonder what you are up to this time, Jack Deveraux. Kevin: Finally, here's my chance. Can you move, Kev? This is it. Kevin: What is this? Doesn't she even notice me anymore? Mimi: Hey, Brady, how's it going? Brady: How are ya? So what's up with Belle and that Schwarzenegger wannabe? Mimi: She's just trying to make Shawn jealous. Brady: Looks like it's working. Hawk: So, Belle, what do you say? We could go to buddy's and then check out that new horror flick? Belle: You know, Hawk, I really don't think you should be splitting your concentration right now. Just worry about the game, okay? Hawk: You're right. You're right. So, we'll talk about this later, then. Belle: Yeah. Later. Hawk: This one's for you, Belle. Shawn-D: Hey, how's the prettiest cheerleader at Salem High? Belle: Shawn, I didn't even see you standing there. You are doing so great tonight. Shawn-D: Yeah. Glad you noticed. So, um, I saw you talking to Hawk just now. Belle: Yeah, yeah, I was trying to pump him up for the second half. After all, we are in this together, right? Shawn-D: Yeah, as far as team spirit goes. Belle: Isn't that what we were talking about? Shawn-D: I don't know. Is it? I heard him ask you out. Didn't he? Belle: Shawn Douglas Brady, were you eavesdropping? Shawn-D: No, I was just standing close enough where I could hear the tail end of the conversation. Belle: Well, yeah, he did ask me out. But, you know, he knows I’m with you. After all, everybody knows you're my boyfriend, right? Shawn-D: Okay, Belle, stop. No, come on, come on, stop it. Cut it out. Jennifer: Thank you. Waiter: You're welcome. Greta: Thank you. Waiter: You're welcome. Jack: Yes... Africa -- the continent of infinite contradictions -- beautiful and pristine and yet, at the same time, savage and unfathomable. Greta: Where did that come from? Jack: What? Greta: We were looking at the menu, about to order some wine, when you suddenly launched into... "Yes, Africa..." Jack: I think a good New York Steak Cabernet. Greta: Oh, well, I was going to order monkfish. Jack: Hmm. Large mouth, nasty-looking teeth. Greta: Yes, but tasty. Jack: No argument there. Greta: I didn't know we were arguing. Jack: Oh, no, no, no, no, one never argues with a princess. The Princess' word is Lex Terius. Greta: I beg your pardon. Jack: "Law of the land," or is that, uh, Lex Terium? I'm sorry. My Latin is un poco rusty. Greta: Jack, I'd had some pretty wacky conversations with you, but I would say this is pretty -- Jack: That's because you keep derailing my train of thought. Greta: Your train, Jack? I think it's more like a caboose. Jack: Oh, good one, Greta. At least the royal sense of humor remains intact. Greta: At least. What else isn't intact? Jack: The royal patience. Coming down on me for mentioning Africa. Greta: Jack, I did not come down on you. I happen to love Africa. Jack: Did your family have colonies there? Greta: Let's order some wine. Jack: Joking. Just joking, Greta. Greta: I think maybe two bottles. Jack: Now, I happen to know that the Von Amberg’s didn't have colonies. Greta: Oh, let's see, a red, maybe a white... Hmm. Jack: Yes. Africa. Greta: Perhaps some champagne. Jack: I remember a time I took a dugout on the Blue Nile to meet a man who had a half interest in a new diamond mine that was being dug there. He told me it was going to be the new mother lode. Turned out to be nothing, but that's neither here nor there. Greta: No, it's not. Jack: The point is, the river was teeming with life -- hippos, crocs, and along the shore, there was clouds of beautiful exotic birds, wildebeest, herds of elephant, impala, a glimpse of the occasional lion... I mean, the whole setting was so... Spiritual, so... Jack: Jennifer hasn't looked over here once! Greta: It's a good thing, or else she would see you gawking at her. Jack: Not even one little glance. Greta: Jack, can you blame her? I mean, look who she's with. I mean, you of all people can appreciate a good-looking man when you see one. Jack: I'm sorry. I just don't see it. Greta: Oh, well, you need to get to your optometrist fast. Jack: Why is it that women all are attracted to muscle mass? Greta: Oh, and you're not? Jack: No. Intelligence, humor, a sense of one's self. That's what rates in my book. Greta: Really? That's good to know. Jack: What do you mean by that? Greta: Nothing. Jennifer: So... Where were we before we were so rudely interrupted? Brandon: I was saying you were honest. Jennifer: Well, you're -- you're pretty direct yourself. Brandon: Life is too short for games. Jennifer: Amen. But the games go on, don't they? I mean, what is everyone afraid of? Brandon: It's like they're protecting themselves. Jennifer: But from what? Brandon: Rejection. What else? Jennifer: Brandon, can I ask you a question? It's kind of personal. Belle: What's wrong, Shawn? What did I do? Shawn-D: Nothing. It's just, you know, when you start rubbing up against me like that... Belle: When I rub up against you like that, what? Shawn-D: It starts driving me crazy... In a good way, you know? And in case you haven't noticed, there's all these people standing around. Belle: Yeah, we wouldn't want to give anyone the wrong idea. Shawn-D: That's not what I meant, and you know it. But I gotta go, okay? Belle: You don't even have a minute, not the shortest amount of time? Shawn-D: What is it with you today? Belle: I'm just trying to get motivated to cheer. Because I know what I'll be thinking about. Shawn-D: Oh, yeah? What's that? Belle: Your body running up and down the basketball court, your arm muscles flexing... Shawn-D: Okay... You are doing it again. Belle: Doing what? Shawn-D: Making me wish we could be alone, and you know we can’t. Belle: Well, as long as that's what you really want. That's all I need to know. Shawn-D: I always want to be with you. All right? I'll see you later, okay? All right. Mimi: You better watch it, girl. You're going to get yourself a rep. Belle: Oh, please. Pg-13. Mimi: Are you sure you two haven't graduated to NC-17? It sure looked that way to me. Belle: Meems, don't you think I would tell you? Mimi: You'd better ease up on the gas pedal, okay? Otherwise, you're going to be looking at trouble. Jason: Shawn. Hey, that was a perfect fake-out pass to set up my three-pointer. Just right. Shawn-D: Yeah, it was a pretty good shot, man. Hey, it's good to see Jan came to the game. Jason: Yeah. I really had to drag her out, though. She doesn't like to leave the house much anymore. I wanted to say, though, that I’m sorry for coming down on you about, you know, spending time with her. Shawn-D: No, no, it's -- Jason: No, really, really, you helped me understand what she was going through by killing that lowlife. I'm not Mr. Sensitive or anything, but I really -- I really care about her. Shawn-D: Yeah, well, that's great, Jason. I'm glad to hear it. Jason: Yeah. Well, I got to go talk to the coach. I'll see ya. Shawn-D: All right. Jan, wait up. Brady: So, what's up with Shawn and Salem’s premier troublemaker, huh? Chloe: You've got me. Philip: What is with you two? Now you're going to basketball games together? Susan: Hi, Kev. Kevin: Hey, Susan. Susan: So, uh, why'd you take your shirt off for? Kevin: I don't know. I guess I was hot. I didn't expect to see you at the game. Susan: Oh, you said you were going to be here, so I thought we could hang out together. Kevin: Oh. Susan: But if you didn't want to, it's fine. I'll, um, get lost. Philip: So, what, the older girls not giving you the time of day, so now you're dating teenagers? Chloe: Philip, change the CD, would you? Philip: That's just great. I can tell Brady’s sarcasm's starting to rub off. Chloe: Look, I don't need to listen to this. Brady, I’ll see you later. Brady: Philip, buddy, I really got to hand it to you. You got that velvet touch. Philip: Can't you find anything more constructive to do than screwing around with my life? Brady: Try getting one first. Philip: Hey, what are you doing, walking out on your new boyfriend? Chloe: Look, I was walking to school, and Brady happened to be driving by, and he offered to give me a lift. Now, obviously, this bears repeating. Brady is a friend, and you are my ex-boyfriend. Philip: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Chloe: Philip, what are you doing? Philip: Look, every time I open my mouth, I stick my foot in it, so I think I need to show you how I feel. Is that okay? Brandon: You can ask me anything you like. Jennifer: All right. You date a lot of women, right? Brandon: I have a track record, but as far as I know, I haven't made it into the "Guinness book of World Records" yet. Jennifer: Oh, well, that's very comforting. Brandon: Why do you ask? Jennifer: Well, I was just wondering if this is usually how your other dates go. Brandon: Oh, you mean the Barbara "tell me everything there is to know" Walters approach? Jennifer: Yeah, I guess. Brandon: Not always. Sometimes I know fairly early in the evening that I’ve made a mistake. Jennifer: Really? Tonight's not one of those evenings. Jack: Jennifer's making a fool out of herself -- sitting over there, looking all googly-eyed. Greta: No one is forcing you to watch. Jack: Why do you keep looking at your watch? Are you bored? Greta: No. No, not at all. Where is he? Jack: Where is who? Greta: The waiter. Jack: Oh, look at them, they're playing footsie. Greta: Jack, would you please stop staring? It is rude, not to mention you're going to completely blow the illusion we're trying to create. Jack: Now, what's the point? Their eyes are glued to one another. Oh, what a night. Could anything else go wrong? Harold: [Smooches] ready or not, Monsieur Jack, here I come. Jack: Honestly, could this get any worse? Greta: Uh, they could be under the table. Jack: Oh, you're a big help. Greta: You know, Jack, stop being such a prig. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Jack: Yes, Mother Hubbard. Greta: I am trying to have a positive outlook here. And who knows? I mean, the night might be full of surprises. Mimi: Shawn is crazy about you, but you've got to lighten up like I’ve told you. Belle: I know, I know. Mimi: What happened to playing hard to get? Belle: I was trying, Mimi. I was really trying to stay away from him. I was even trying to make him jealous by talking to Hawk, but when he came over to me, I just couldn't play those games anymore. I had to see if he really wanted to be with me. Mimi: And he did, obviously. I mean, he does, right? Belle: Well, yes and no. Mimi: What does that mean? Mimi: Belle, don't go looking for problems that don't exist. Belle: I'm not imagining I have to find out what's going through his head, and I am not going to stop until I do. Even if I have to my point by going out on that date with Hawk. Mimi: Hawk asked you out? Did you say yes? Belle: I didn't say no. Mimi: How could anyone say no? I'd sip his bath water out with a straw. Belle: This is not about Hawk, Mimi. This is about Shawn. I love him. And I'm going to get him. You watch. Brady: Hey, Tink. Shawn-D: Jan, hey, what's going on? Why are you trying to walk away from me? Jan: I don't want to put any more pressure on you, Shawn. Shawn-D: What pressure? You're not putting pressure on me; Jan. You're my friend. I'm worried about you. Jan: Thanks for talking to Jason. I really appreciate it. He's been a lot more understanding. Shawn-D: It's no problem. So, have you thought about going back to the crisis counselor? Jan: It helped, but I don't think I’m going to go back. Shawn-D: Jan, you have to go back. You can't keep your problem bottled up inside. You got to keep working through it. Jan: I can't go back. Not alone. Shawn-D: Then I’ll go with you, all right? Look, I got a basketball game I got to play right now. Don't worry. We'll talk, all right? Jan: Shawn, wait. Chloe: Oh, Philip. Look, you shouldn't have come here tonight. You should be at home resting. Philip: I was, but I couldn't stop thinking about you. Us. Look, Chloe, I had to see you, but when I saw you with Brady, I lost it. No surprise there, huh? As usual, I messed things up. Can you forgive me? Philip: I know it's wrong, but every time I see you with Brady, I can't help jumping to conclusions. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Chloe: Well, the Greeks say that love is the closest thing to madness. Philip: See that? It's in my blood. Chloe, if I act like a jerk sometimes, it's only because I love you so much. You do believe that, right? Chloe: I believed you all along, Philip, ever since the first time you told me. Brady: How's the game going? Belle: Well -- Mimi: Oh, my God, Belle! Belle: What is wrong, Mimi? Mimi: Oh, nothing. Just that there's so many hot guys here tonight, and, of course, your brother's just about the hottest. Belle: I thought you liked Kevin. Mimi: Kevin who? Kevin: Um, excuse me, Susan. There's something I have to do. Penelope: Kevin's got it real bad for Mimi. Susan: It's bad, alright. Brady: You know what? I'll catch you two after the game. Belle: Okay. Mimi: God, Belle, don't you ever wish he wasn't your brother? Belle: I'm not going to acknowledge that you just said that. Mimi what were you just so hyper about? Okay, spill it. Mimi: I had another Jan Shawn sighting. Jan: You're a real friend, Shawn. Shawn-D: Friends are always there for each other. I'm not going to let you down, Jan. Jennifer: You know what? When you look at me like that, I have to confess it makes me really nervous. Brandon: When people speak honestly, they get nervous, especially on a date. It goes with the territory. Jennifer: Yeah, well, uncharted for me, as of late. Brandon: I think we both know that something is happening, Jennifer. It just seems a little too soon, and neither of us want to feel like fools, right? Jennifer: I-I don’t no say. Brandon: Well, I've already said too much, but, as you know, I like-- Jennifer: I know. You like to be direct, and that is not negative, I'm telling you. It's just that, uh, I mean, no man has ever spoken to me quite like this before. Harold: Why am I living in Chicago? Salem has so much to offer. Harold: Ahh... There he is. Jack Deveraux. Breathe, Harold. Breathe. Harold: Hello. Whoopsy daisy. Brandon: To the first of many dates. Harold: I always did know how to make an entrance. Greta: Hello, Harold. Jack: Are you all in one piece? Harold: Oh, that? I always bow and scrape in front of the Princess. Jack: Princess? You know this person? Greta: Oh, of course. Harold, why don't you join us? Kevin: I guess we'd better take our seats. The game's about to start. Oh, well, um, actually, it's okay. I'm going to sit with Penelope. Brady: Hey, Shawn, buddy, you wouldn't happen to be two-timing my sister, now, would you? Shawn-D: Yeah, right, Brady, good one. Brady: Maybe Marlena’s right. There's something strange going on here. Mimi: Your brother is so cute. Very crush worthy. You're upset, huh? Jan and Shawn are always together. It's like they're best friends now or something. Why? I don't get it, Mimi. Philip: So, how about sitting together for the second half? Just don't expect me to be watching the game because I'm going to be staring at that beautiful face. Chloe: Don’t. Don't say anything, and don't stare at me. It'll drive me crazy. Philip: Okay. Can we at least sit together like friends? Chloe: Okay, fine. Philip: All right, let's go. Brady: She is making a mistake. They're all wrong for each other, and I'm going to prove it. |