All My Children Transcript Tuesday 6/8/10

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Episode #10390

Provided by Suzanne
Proofread By Gisele

Opal: Well, the bride and groom are AWOL!

Ryan: Well, I guess that means I'm not late.

Opal: Oh, no. You're fine. Especially since one of the bridesmaids is also missing in action.

Ryan: Who? Greenlee? She's probably on a battlefield of her own right now.

Greenlee: I'm late.

David: Just give me a minute. You don't have to do this. Really. What -- you walk down the aisle, you stand next to the bride. Honestly, what's there to rehearse?

Greenlee: I'm going because one of my closest friends, not to mention former roommate, is marrying the love of his life.

David: They're already married. There's really no point for you to be there.

Greenlee: It's a little thing called friendship.

David: I don't trust them. Any of them.

Greenlee: But do you trust me?

Ryan: Hey, stranger. Welcome home.

Ruth: Oh, thank you.

Ryan: Good to see you.

Ruth: Oh, it's so good to be back. My baby getting married.

Ryan: Yes.

Ruth: Oh, and Greenlee back. Isn't that some kind of miracle?

Ryan: It is. It really is.

Ruth: I'm so sorry to hear about her marrying --

Tad: Mom.

Ryan: It's -- it's ok. No, no. Hey, it's ok. I'm fine. I'm good. In fact, I'm even bringing a date to the wedding, so, you know, I'm doing ok. I mean, I'm a little hungry, so I'm gonna go get a bite to eat. I'll see you later.

Ruth: Oh, yes.

Ryan: Ok? All right.

Ruth: How -- we go live in Florida and a few months pass, and everybody's love life is -- is upside down. And the way you're looking at Liza --

Tad: I'm not looking at Liza.

Ruth: Oh, no? Is it --

Tad: Ma, it's complicated.

Ruth: Well, it's always complicated with you. And the way you keep looking at Liza --

Tad: I'm not looking at her.

Ruth: Ha ha ha ha. Over is never really over.

Liza: I'm so glad that you agreed to do this. You understand that it has to be tonight, right?

Jasmine: I'll get this Damon guy away from the bachelor party, make him think he's getting lucky. Still $1,000, right?

Liza: Yes. And if Colby walks in on you and Damon in bed, there's an extra $500 bonus.

Opal: Well, for two people who are so excited to re-tie the knot, I cannot for the life of me figure out what Jake and Amanda could be up to.

Tad: It's really been that long, huh, Ma?

[As Amanda and Jake kiss in the park, she giggles]

Amanda: Mm. Mm. Stop it. We said no sex before the wedding.

Jake: We are wedded people. We're wedded.

Amanda: We are gonna get arrested.

Jake: Let's go home.

Amanda: Mm. We can't. We have the rehearsal. We're already late.

Jake: What are we rehearsing? We know everything already. I love you. Please.

Amanda: Mm. Mm. Ahh.

[Police whistle blows]

Amanda: Oh, my God. Please, God, don't let them arrest us. We can't spend our wedding day in jail!

Jake: We're not getting hauled in any -- anytime soon. Hello, Krystal with a whistle. And things.

Krystal: Yeah, just noisemakers for the bachelorette party.

Jake: Yes.

Krystal: Which won't happen until after the rehearsal. Which won't happen until the bride and the groom show up.

Jake: That's wild. So you're just walking through the park and -- why?

Krystal: Ah, well, I saw your car, and I thought you might be up to no good.

Amanda: We were just talking.

Krystal: Mm-hmm. That and you missed a button. Yeah, well, all that noise about you not wanting to "be together" until after the wedding, I'm just here to help you keep that resolve.

Jake: That's so good of you.

Krystal: Yeah. It's a good thing I showed up when I did. Minister's waiting.

Amanda: You're right. You're right.

[Krystal blows whistle]

Amanda: Ok. Ok.

Krystal: Come on!

Jake: Wacko.

David: You know that I trust you. But it's gonna be difficult for you to be there.

Greenlee: You mean because of Erica.

David: Did you get any sleep last night?

Greenlee: Did you?

David: We're gonna find her, ok? I'm not gonna give up.

Greenlee: Well, at least you're admitting what we're both afraid of -- that she might've died in that plane crash.

David: I hate the toll this has taken on you. Why don't you just stay home, ok? Get some sleep. I'll take care of you.

Greenlee: I can't do that.

David: You gotta know what they're doing. They're trying to separate us.

Greenlee: It's just a wedding.

David: No, it's not just a wedding. It's a joke. They're already married. Look, I know the way their minds think, ok? They're gonna get you alone, they're gonna fill your head with lies about me.

Greenlee: It won't work.

David: I know. We just -- we need to be united right now.

Greenlee: We are. You made a terrible mistake. But you apologized and that means a lot, but I need to go.

David: What if Erica comes up?

Greenlee: I don't know anything. You'll call me if you find her?

David: Of course. Greenlee -- it's gonna be all right.

Greenlee: Yeah.

Ryan: Hey.

Liza: Hey, sweetheart.

Colby: Can I talk to my mom for a second?

Ryan: Yes, yes, yeah, go ahead. Go ahead.

Liza: Yeah. What's up?

Colby: What the hell are you doing? Why are you reading my text messages?

Liza: Ok, Damon told you.

Colby: Yeah. Yeah. That speech about letting me make my own decisions, respecting them? It was -- it was a complete lie.

Liza: No, honey, I meant it. I did. I am so sorry. I should've never read your texts. I should not have gone to Damon. I read that text, and I completely overreacted. I am sorry.

Colby: You really can't be cool with this.

Liza: No, I'm not thrilled that you're going to bed with Damon, but -- honey, you're smart and you're really strong. I gotta trust you.

Colby: Even if you don't like what I'm doing?

Liza: I just want to have fun with you. I mean, this whole wedding and the reception, it's all about love. You know? I don't want to spoil it. Hug?

Colby: Yeah.

Tad: Looks like they made up.

Damon: Wouldn't count on it. Not the way Liza feels about me.

Tad: Come on. It's not specifically about you. Yeah, all right, it's specifically about you, but so what? Liza's just being a little overly protective. What parents do, ok? It's our job.

Damon: Are you really defending her right now?

Tad: Why shouldn't I? I've known that woman most of my life, and let me tell you something. She may be complicated, she may be tough. She has a huge heart. When she loves somebody -- never mind.

Amanda: Sorry we're late.

Krystal: Yeah, guess what? I caught them sucking face in the park.

Jake: Why do you say that?

Opal:  After the wedding.

Jake: That's not right.

Amanda: Hey. Where's Greenlee?

Opal: Well, we're just gonna work around her for the rehearsal and hope she's more prompt on the actual --

Greenlee: Am I too late?

Opal: Not for this crew, you're not. No. Come on, let's get going. We've only got time to go through this once, so -- Pastor Stanley, the food isn't going anywhere. Could you join us?

Amanda: Ok, thank you, Opal. All right, so the procession's going to begin right here. You guys are going to enter two by two. Jake, you and Mom are going to start us off. And of course, for the wedding you'll be holding Trevor.

Jake: Of course.

Amanda: So come on, guys, everybody partner up. Liza. Tad.

Liza: Listen, Tad, I'm really sorry about what I said about Damon --

Tad: Liza, let's just see if you and I get through the aisle without tripping over one another.

Opal: Ok.

Amanda: Ryan. Greenlee.

Opal: Come on. The train can't leave the station till everybody's on board. Get over here.

Ryan: Ok. So you -- you go -- you go -- all right. Ok. Here we go. Hey. Doing ok?

Greenlee: Everything's great.

Ryan: Good.

Opal: Cue the music.

Amanda: Cue the magic.

Opal: Ok, anytime you're ready, honey.

Jake: This ought to be good.

[Pop music playing]

[Crowd cheering]

[Laughter, indistinct chatter as everyone dances]

Angie: Oh --

Jesse: Hey.

Angie: Hey, baby.

Jesse: I'm glad to see you're rethinking your wardrobe. You ready to go?

Angie: Gosh, I totally lost track of time.

Jesse: You don't have to go to this party if you're not up for it.

Angie: No, no, no, no. There is no way that I'm missing Amanda's bachelorette party. And I know that you can't wait to hang with the bachelors and gamble away all our savings at the casino. Yeah, don't try it.

Jesse: Hey, hey, hey. All I need is you. [Kiss] You know that.

David: I hate to interrupt this lovey-dovey moment --

Jesse: Oh, joy.

David: But I'd like some time. In private.

Jesse: Well, sorry to disappoint, Mr. Hayward, but the chief is off the clock.

David: That wasn't me asking permission.

Angie: Baby, I'll meet you at the car.

Jesse: See you soon.

Angie: What's so important?

David: You mentioned the other day that a child almost died. What you failed to mention was that you resuscitated him. Heroic, even.

Angie: Don't think that you have to commend me for doing my job.

David: I'm not. You took an unnecessary risk.

Angie: Ramon could've died.

David: And you could've taken 10 seconds to grab some protective gear.

Angie: If we had enough staff to restock the masks and gowns regularly, then I would have.

David: Oh, so that's what this was. Your chance to play superwoman while taking a shot at my budget.

Angie: You know, I saved a life, and the last time I checked, that's what we're here for.

David: You set a bad example. You pull something like that again, and I'll have your ass in front of the medical board.

[Angie sighs]

Tad: Ok, as you all know, as far as the tribe is concerned, this beautiful woman is already part of the family. And tomorrow we're just gonna seal the deal, all right? Make it final even if I'm not acting as minister, thank you very much.

[Laughter]

Jake: Did you want to be the minister?

Tad: When I look at my brother, my little brother, I see a man who truly has everything, and has a brilliant career, fantastic kid, and now, the woman of his dreams. And I can honestly say from the bottom of my heart, I never liked you.

[Laughter]

Jake: What is wrong with you?

Tad: I'm serious. I'm proud of you. I'm -- I -- come here. Come here. I'm proud of you. [Kisses Jake]

Jake: Oh --

Tad: I'm proud of you. Never been -- never been so proud to call you brother.

Jake: You know, this is funny. This is the guy that taught me how to actually skip stones. You know. And also the guy who taught me how to fix antiques after we broke them. We had the glue. That was him, and I helped him, Mom. That's what I was gonna say. He made me -- I was an accomplice. But what he really taught me, really, is about the love of family. And I can only hope that I am as good a father as our father was to us someday. That's -- that's my --

Tad: And I'm off to kind of a shaky start with one of my brood. Isn't that right, Damon? I got a lot to make up for. And if it's ok with you, and you, tomorrow while we celebrate the wedding of Amanda and Jake, I hope we can also celebrate you becoming a member of my family.

[Applause]

Tad: I would love that. And as far as I'm concerned, everybody, everybody in this room has a reason to celebrate, because we are lucky to have all the people that we love in our lives.

Jake: Nice.

Opal: So, we got a lot to celebrate, all of us. I say the rehearsal is over. Let's get down to some serious partying, huh? Girls, we're meeting over at Krystal's. Guys, you hightail it over to the casino, and try to come back with a little cash in your pockets, please.

Ryan: Never. No chance.

Ruth: I've got Grandma duty. I'll see you later.

Tad: Kiss the girls for me, ok?

Ruth: I will. Definitely.

Amanda: Tell Trevor that his mom and dad will see him soon.

Ruth: I will do just that.

Jake: Go over there, ok? Bye, Mom.

Ruth: All right.

Jake: Mwah. Ahh.

Amanda: I'm not gonna see you until tomorrow.

Jake: I know. It really can't come quick enough.

Amanda: Just be good tonight.

Jake: Yeah.

[Krystal blows whistle]

Jake: Oh, with the whistle!

Krystal: Come on!

Jake: Oh, my God.

Krystal: Enough with the fraternizing. Come on, show some willpower.

Jake: That's it. I will not touch this woman until I say, "I do," and then when I do, I will. A lot.

Krystal: There you go. That's more like it. Have at it tomorrow. That's better.

[Jake blows kiss to Amanda]

[Tad and Jake speaking indistinctly]

Amanda: Hey, groom.

Jake: Ahh.

[Amanda squeals as she and Jake kiss]

[Women cheering]

[Amanda laughs]

Randi: Looks like a bridal shop exploded in here.

Liza: Looks like a dozen bridal shops exploded in here.

Opal: Well, I have to admit it's a little over the top even for me.

Krystal: But Opal had good reason.

Opal: That's right. That's right. Now, Amanda said that she wanted a 100%, full-fledged wedding experience, so we just didn't want her to miss out on just one little moment of all the fun and misery a bride has to go through. So, anyway, let the festivities begin.

[Women cheering]

Amanda: Oh, no.

Krystal: Oh, yes. Oh, yes. [Puts a veil on Amanda's head]

Amanda: Thank you, guys.

[Woman singing wedding march]

Men: Hey!

Tad: Now the party can begin.

Ryan: You got that right. Come on, everybody. Come on, come on, come on. About 10 grand each, approximately.

Damon: Cool.

Ryan: Don't get too excited. It's not actually real money.

Damon: I'm still feeling lucky.

Ryan: Ok. Get to it. Here you go. A little bit more for you.

Tad: Yeah, right. All right, look -- what are you doing? Come here. Uh, you got any questions to ask me about the mysteries of matrimony, the secret to sensuality, stop playing with my hair, you can ask now because the master is in.

Jake: Ah. All right. So that's cool. I should ask you, Tad the Cad since kindergarten, about relationships. Perpetual bachelor. The guy who's afraid of commitment.

Tad: Stop talking. What -- what? That's -- that's so wrong. I love commitment. I'm big on commitment. I'm huge on commitment. Don't throw that in my face. Just because I am busy with Damon, trying to make up for two decades of basically being a no-show.

Jake: All right, well, let me put it this way. You're at my wedding. Who do you ask to dance first -- Krystal or Liza?

Tad: What kind of moronic question is that?

Jake: It's a good question because you're living with Krystal yet you're with Liza, right?

Tad: Whatever I do or not do with Krystal is none of your business, ok? And you know the situation with Liza. It's a mess.

Jake: I don't really know the situation with Liza. Are you sleeping with her again or -- just saying, because when you look at her, it's the type of look that you want to do more than just dance with her.

Liza: Is that Damon?

Colby: I thought you promised not to get up in my business, remember?

Liza: I know. I know. I know. I just really hope you don't go through with your plan for tomorrow night. That's all.

Colby: And this is how you leave it alone?

Liza: Colby, what can I say, honey? I'm just concerned.

Colby: No. You want to control my life.

Angie: How are you doing?

Greenlee: Great. Unless you want to set up another dinner date so you can ambush David for the changes he's made.

Angie: I wanted to talk about you. You know, I know that we're not close, Greenlee, but I saved your life a few years ago.

Greenlee: And I'm very grateful.

Angie: You don't need to be grateful. You don't owe me. And just because David saved your life -- you don't owe him, either.

Krystal: Ok, ok, girlfriends. It's time to start the fun and games.

Opal: Yeah, all right, come on.

Krystal: And the first game, the first game is "Love and Truth."

Opal: Yeah.

Krystal: Everyone has to put their love life out there, and the truth and nothing but.

Opal: All right.

[Women cheering]

Ryan: And to the man who is as lucky at love as he is at the tables. Have you seen this guy?

[Men cheering]

Damon: It's soda. Don't worry. It's soda. I promise.

Waiter: There's a woman who wants to see you.

Damon: Oh. Yeah. Thanks. Oh. I thought Tad, like, unhired you for the night. I told him that was a mistake.

Jasmine: I'm not here to dance for the groom. I came to see you.

Damon: M-me?

Jasmine: You're so cute. And funny. I was kind of hoping maybe you'd like to -- is that the police chief?

Damon: Uh, yeah. In the flesh.

Jasmine: I gotta go.

Damon: What happened to me being cute and funny? [Sniffs]

[Slot machine chiming]

Jesse: So is that boy of yours behaving himself?

Tad: Ah, better and better. Yeah. Honestly. More and more. You know, progress every day. He's a good kid.

Jesse: He's a good kid.

Tad: Yeah, I know -- ok, fine. You don't have to -- I know you think that I cut him too much slack, all right? But he's my son, Jesse. Come on. I just wanna help him as much as I can.

Jesse: You know what would help a lot, Tad? If you kept his little ass out of trouble.

Tad: I'm working on it.

Jesse: Mm.

Tad: Me, on the other hand --

Jesse: What about you on the other hand?

Tad: I could definitely use a little more trouble. Of the female variety, if you know what I'm talking about. I'm so busy with Damon, I -- well, I've been ignoring some very important things.

Jesse: Like the female variety.

Tad: One female in particular. Very important female. I didn't treat her as well as I should've.

Jesse: Do something about it.

Tad: Yeah. You know what? That's exactly what I think I'm gonna do. Right now.

Jesse: You're leaving now?

Tad: People to see, baby. Thanks for the advice.

Jesse: Here's a little more advice. Don't let me catch you driving drunk. Call a cab.

Tad: On it, too.

Jake: I want to thank you for letting us use the place. This is great.

Ryan: Well, you got it. You got it. Glad I could help. You're a lucky man. Tad nailed it. You just did it right with the marriage, the family.

Jake: What happened here? I lost all my money. I wasn't even looking.

Ryan: Mm-hmm.

Jake: Listen, you're gonna have Greenlee on your arm tomorrow. That's a start, I think, don't you? Oh. I got ya.

David: Well. Is all this confetti for me? I wouldn't expect such a warm welcome.

Ryan: What the hell are you doing here, David?

Jake: You weren't on the guest list.

David: Was there a guest list? I'm sorry. I just came by to try my luck on the tables, you know? I mean, how should I know there would be a private party?

Jake: It is a private party, and you're not invited.

David: That's a pretty lame choice, don't you think? I mean, closing the place down like this for what, a bachelor party? Is that what this is? I mean, what kind of businessman are you?

Ryan: The kind that takes care of his friends.

Jake: He doesn't know anything about friends.

Ryan: Oh, that's right.

Jesse: Now might be a good time for you to go away.

David: No, you know, I think I'd rather have a drink first. I'll have a vodka tonic, rocks, please.

Jake: You got a pair of rocks showing up here, David.

Ryan: Why don't you get out or I'm gonna throw you out?

David: You gotta know that threats are not good for business, right?

Ryan: Get out, David. Now.

David: What is this -- assault? You're kidding me, right? What -- are you gonna tell him to chill or do I have to press charges?

Opal: Let's see. Who is our first victim? It is none other than -- Liza. Ha ha ha ha! All righty. Come on. Don't be shy.

Liza: Ok, all right. Oh. Wow. You guys, as much as I would love to be in the hot seat and answer all of your questions, I do, I've got to go. My apologies.

[Woman blows whistle]

Liza: What are you doing here? You're supposed to be with Damon.

Jasmine: I didn't know the police chief was gonna be at the party.

Liza: Ok. Listen. You're not doing anything illegal.

Jasmine: He busted me too many times. Not gonna risk it.

Liza: Ok. Listen. You don't understand. My daughter thinks she's in love with this guy and she's gonna throw her entire life away for him. I know because I've done it myself. He's gonna sleep with her and then he's gonna rip her heart out if I don't do something about it.

Jasmine: Find someone else.

Amanda: No. I didn't.

[Women cheering, laughing]

Jesse: This is a private party. You've been asked to leave. I suggest you do so.

Jake: It's cool. I got this.

Jesse: This is the night before your wedding, Jake. You don't wanna mess it up fooling around with this idiot.

Jake: He's got something to say, obviously. Why would he show up if he knows everybody hates him here? So I got it. Shall we? Bar?

Ryan: W-what are you doing?

Jake: It's all right. All right, Ryan. I'm used to this with him. He's obsessed with me and my wife and my life and my kid, so I'll have a drink with him, ok? Two seconds. I'll just tell him what's what and tell him to leave.

Ryan: I think it's gonna take more than a drink to make that happen.

Frankie: Yeah. I mean, if you want, if you need us to throw him out of here, just let us know.

Jake: I love you guys. Oh, boy.

David: Ok, so what do you want to talk about?

Jake: Dave -- you're such a sucky friend.

David: [Chuckles] Well. Sophomoric as ever. But since you're buying, I'll stick around.

Jake: Is it that you're lonely? Is that what it is? You're lonely. You lost your license, you lost your wife. I mean, you will lose your wife eventually.

David: You keep telling yourself that.

Jake: Oh, no. It's pretty -- I mean, you didn't see her at the rehearsal. I just thought maybe -- maybe there's trouble at home. I don't --

David: Nope. No trouble whatsoever.

Jake: Well, there will be. Tomorrow. When she walks down that aisle with Ryan. I mean, you didn't really see her face. She just lit up when she was on his arm.

Opal: All righty. Now let's see who's our next victim.

Amanda: Drum roll.

[Opal imitates drum roll]

Amanda: Greenlee.

[Women cheering]

Opal: Come on, girlfriend. Get over here.

Amanda: You can't pass. I'm the bride-to-be. Get in the hot seat.

Opal: Come on, Greenlee.

Greenlee: I need something to drink. I -- scratchy throat.

Amanda: Oh, you can't even talk about your husband. What does that say?

Opal: Poor thing. She didn't get a test.

[Amanda and Opal laugh]

Krystal: She didn't leave the building.

Amanda: I didn't mean to upset you.

Greenlee: I just -- I just don't feel like playing games. And that's what this is, isn't it? One big game. You refuse to invite my husband and throw me together with Ryan -- as if walking down the aisle together would make me see the light -- the light that you want me to see.

Amanda: Look, I just want you to be happy.

Greenlee: Just so we're clear, my marriage to David is exactly what I want. We understand each other, and we trust each other and I resent the hell out of being put on a hot seat, because you think you know what's best for me.

Amanda: Ok. Look. I'm just worried about you, ok? Is that so terrible? I know how David can be. He can make you feel like he's the only person in the world that cares about you, that can protect you, that can give you exactly what you need. And so, you know, you start excusing his behavior no matter how bad or how crazy it can be, because you tell yourself, you know, he's doing it to help you out.

[Knocking on door]

Randi: That must be the stripper.

Krystal: No. I didn't -- I didn't order a stripper.

Tad: Hi. Hey.

Opal: What are you doing here?

Tad: I just came by to see how everybody's doing.

Krystal: Everybody is fine.

Angie: Well, if you're not here to strip, you need to leave.

[Laughter]

Tad: I used to inspire a little more enthusiasm when I walked in --

Krystal: Tad, this is a bachelorette party and no men are allowed.

Tad: You've got chicken.

Krystal: Ok, take the chicken to go, Tad. Come on. Come on, let's go. Is that your cab? I'll put you in the cab.

Women: Bye.

Opal: [Indistinct]

Tad: You're throwing me out?

Krystal: You didn't come here to see how everybody's doing. You came here to see Liza.

Liza: Well, well, well. Damon. How's the party going, huh? You winning?

Damon: Thought you were gonna be at the bachelorette party thing.

Liza: Ahh. Bachelorette parties. So boring. Really, they're playing these stupid games and they have ribbon hats. No, I thought this would be a lot more fun.

Damon: Are you drunk?

Liza: No, honey, I'm just happy. And I want to play, so --

Damon: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Careful.

Liza: Mm. Look at that. You just saved me.

Tad: I didn't necessarily come to, you know, find Liza or something --

Krystal: No, Tad. It's ok.

Tad:  Make sure you're having a good time. We're having --

Krystal: I don't care, Tad. I understand.

Tad: You know how great you are?

[Krystal sighs]

Tad: You are so awesome. You are the best mother to our children --

Krystal: Thank you. Thank you. It's ok -- Tad, it's all right. Tad, it's ok. Tad!

Tad: You are the greatest mother in Pine Valley. You are killer --

Krystal: [Blows whistle] [Sighs] I know you care, and I know you don't want to hurt me, but I know that I'm not the one you came to see.

Tad: Wisest woman I think I --

Krystal: Ah --

Tad: Where is she?

Krystal: I don't know. I don't know. She left. Liza seemed a little bit tense. I think it was the game we were playing, actually.

Tad: Is that the one with the ribbon and the hat? I understand --

Krystal: No. No. It was actually a game called "Love and Truth." I think Liza would like a little truth from you.

Liza: Oop. There's a step right there. This is really great of you to drive me home like this. Thank you. I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't driven me home, you know?

Damon: There's no way I was letting you behind the wheel of a car.

Liza: Oop! Oops. Sorry.

Damon: It's ok. Ahem.

Liza: Uhh. Boy, I feel a hangover coming on. Damon, can you get me some aspirin? It's in the medicine cabinet. On the top shelf. It's the top shelf.

Damon: Yeah. Yeah. Sure. You got it.

[Liza moaning]

[While Damon's upstairs, Liza sends Colby a message, "Need to see you. I'm home."

Damon: Here you go.

Liza: Oh, boy.

Damon: Here.

Liza: You are a life saver.

Damon: All right.

Liza: It's 2. Ohh.

Damon: Everything good now? You good?

Liza: I think I better go lay down. Yeah, I gotta lay down. I gotta lay down. I gotta get out of my dress, and I gotta lay down.

Damon: Ok, I'm gonna -- I'm gonna hit the road then.

Liza: Ok. Uh-oh. It's stuck. Oh, boy. Damon, can you just -- can you help me with this? Please?

Amanda: All right, all right, all right. Angie, is Jesse a morning or a night man?

Randi: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Excuse me. This is my father- and mother-in-law.

Amanda: Ok, ok. Close your ears. Angie?

Angie: Well, Jesse is a man who rises to all occasions.

[Women cheer as Randi covers her ears]

Amanda: [Laughs] All right. Randi, it's your turn. Everybody's gone but you. In the hot seat.

Randi: All right.

Opal: Did you get Tad off all right?

Krystal: Yeah. Yeah, I poured him in the cab.

Randi: I'm just telling you right now -- don't ask me anything too embarrassing.

Amanda: Oh, ok, what's the fun in that? Opal, you wanna start?

Opal: What could I think of? Well, is Frankie neat?

Randi: Very.

[Angie blows whistle]

[Laughter]

Randi: All right, all right. He's a total disaster. He drops clothes all over the house and somehow the boy manages to always have one shoe in the living room. One shoe.

Amanda: All right. Is he romantic?

Randi: Very.

Opal: Aww.

Randi: I miss him. I wish he was here.

Amanda: I miss Jake.

Randi: Well, maybe they'll come by.

Amanda: Oh, please. I mean, the men love us, don't get me wrong, but they are doing the whole "Boys Gone Wild" thing. They are gambling, drinking, and fist-pumping.

[Laughter]

Greenlee: I'll be right back.

Randi: Well, cheers, ladies.

Women: Cheers.

Randi: Cheers to the girls.

Opal: You calling your hubby?

Greenlee: Yeah.

Opal: Well, I didn't mean to get in your way. I just came out here to make a call, too. To Erica.

Jake: You know, you're basically crashing my life. It's -- it's gotta stop. Ok? It's gotta stop. Now, here's what's gonna happen. I'm marrying my wife. I'm remarrying her. Why? Because what we have is real, not like that fraud you got going with Greenlee, ok? In fact, look at this. Ready? See that? My girl's gonna wear that for the rest of her life.

David: Mm. Yeah. You keep telling yourself that. Everybody knows the Martin men can't hold on to their wives.

Jake: Well, now, why would you say something like that when you know that your wife's got one foot out the door already?

David: Shut the hell up.

Jake: You know what? We're in a casino, right? So I'm thinking we should bet $100. Let's bet $100 that your wife takes her ring off her finger and tosses it away by the end of the year. What do you say? Ooh. Somebody doesn't like hearing the truth.

[David and Jake grunt as they throw fists at each other]

Opal: I've left about a thousand messages. No word.

Greenlee: I'm sure she's fine.

Opal: Well, that's what I gotta believe, yeah. Yeah, of course she's just gonna come charging back here with a vengeance. In fact, you might wanna duck.

Amanda: I say it's a great idea. Let's go.

Opal: Thank you. Hey, wait a minute. Where's everybody going? No, we -- we gotta do the ribbon hat.

Krystal: No, we're gonna crash the boys' party.

Women: Woo-hoo!

Opal: That is just wrong!

Women: Yes. Let's go.

Opal: All righty. [Laughs] I'm with you.

Krystal: Colby? Come on, Colby, aren't you gonna go to the casino?

Colby: I just got this text message from my mom saying she wants to see me. What is up with her? She -- she leaves without saying anything and now she's -- now she's all about seeing me.

Krystal: Well, I think your mother is in good hands. So come on. Let's go to the casino, and you can surprise Damon. Huh? Ha ha ha. Come on.

Damon: My mom always used to rub soap on stuck zippers, so you can just take that.

Liza: It's not that kind of stuck.

Damon: I should go.

Liza: Ow. Oh. I think it's biting me. Ow, ow. Oh, please help me. Careful. Careful.

Damon: Ok.

Liza: Ahh.

Damon: There you go. There you go.

Liza: Oh, whoo. That's much better. Ahh. Mm. Wow. You know, you really do remind me of your father.

[Knocking on door]

Tad: Liza. Open up. It's me -- Tad.

Ryan: Come on now. It's not worth it.

Jake: Oh, yeah, it is.

David: You know you're all a bunch of morons, every single one of you.

Jesse: Hey, where are you going?

David: I'm going home. You happy?

Jesse: Not so fast, Sparky. You are under arrest.

David: What are you talking about?

[Women enter cheering]

Jesse: Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

David: What is this, a joke?

Jesse: If you need an attorney and cannot afford one --

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