All My Children Transcript Thursday 12/15/05

Provided By Boo
Proofread by Gisele

Zach: Easy. I think you ought to sit down. Lean back.

Kendall: Ok. Ok, ok, that's --

Zach: It's all right. It's turbulence. I got you. You're safe.

Kendall: Wait, just turn, turn.

Zach: Hmm?

Kendall: Ok, you got to stay --

Zach: Don't blind me.

Kendall: I'm not going to blind you. You got to stay still and turn to me or I cannot operate.

Zach: Oh, that's it -- you're going to blind me. I'm going to need you -- divorce is off. You're going to be my seeing-eye wife forever.

Kendall: Blink. I got it. Why did you say you loved me?

Zach: Just forget it. Forget that I said I love you.

Kendall: I can't.

Zach: You're better off being the ex Mrs. Zach Slater.

[Voice echoes]

[Christmas music plays]

Lily: 12, 24, 48, 60, 72. Ok, one -- one leather wallet for Dad, one figurine for Mom, one warm-up suit for Reggie, one leather wallet --

[Music and sounds get louder]

Lily: Leather wallet for Dad -- one figurine for Mom, one warm-up suit for Reggie.

[Music and sounds get quieter]

Lily: One leather wallet for Dad, one figurine for Mom, one warm-up suit for Reggie -- Reggie. One --

[Music and sounds get louder]

Lily: Leather wallet for -- for Dad. One figurine for Mom, a warm-up suit for Reggie.

Amanda: Jamie, your loser brother is here to start your day off with a fizzle. Please, come in.

Jamie: Whatever it is, save it.

J.R.: Tell me I just entered a Tim Burton film. Tell me this lunatic is not behind me. I'm going to turn around and all I'll see is an empty room. Huh!

Amanda: That snap you back to reality, dream boy?

Babe: She's got the name, but I heard the show wouldn't be half the hit it is if it weren't for the supervising producer.

Josh: That's what I'm talking about. How's it going?

Babe: All right. Is it a bad time for visitors?

Josh: Terrible -- totally swamped. Only one thing I could possibly have time for -- the hottest woman I know has seen the light and wants me bad. You up for the challenge?

Babe: I do want you, Josh -- need you, actually. Are you up for the challenge?

Ryan: Kendall? You here?

Erica: She has to be. She's not at the condo and I have tried her -- her cell for hours.

Ryan: Then it goes straight to voicemail.

Erica: Exactly. You tried, too. Well, where do you think she could be? Oh.

Ryan: Simone?

Simone: Oh, my goodness -- Ryan. Hi. Oh, Erica. How weird -- I didn't even see you standing there. That's a great dress. I'd really love to chitchat, but I have got so much --

Ryan: Hey, Simone?

Simone: Work to do.

Ryan: Where's Kendall?

Erica: And if you tell me you don't know, I swear you will be eating those files for breakfast.

Amanda: I'm off to work. Thought we got rid of you.

J.R.: "We"? You're a "we" now?

Amanda: Didn't I make it clear with that tweak to the cheek, J.R.? Jamie wants me here. You, I highly doubt.

Jamie: Does anybody know a seven-letter word for "congenial"?

J.R.: No, but I know a six-letter word for "psychopath." Better get to your job, fruitcake. I'm sure you got a line of cars with screaming customers wanting their eggy muffins and hash browns.

Amanda: Oh, J.R. made a funny. For your information, dork, my job happens to be very prestigious and awesome. Not all of us have Daddy's company to prop us up.

J.R.: Oh, who are you kidding? You got the greatest inheritance of all -- Mommy’s mental illness. Hey, do me a favor -- when you hear the voices, find the hardest surface possible, smash your head into it. It should make those voices go away.

Amanda: I left a breakfast burrito for you in the microwave. I'll be at the studio all morning, but I think I can get away for lunch, so if you want to meet up, call me.

Jamie: Cool. "Kindred." Huh. Have a good one, Amanda.

Amanda: You, too. Later, loser.

J.R.: You know, maybe I'm the crazy one.

Jamie: Been saying it for years.

J.R.: But for some freakish reason, I feel sorry for you. I can't let you go through with this.

Jamie: "Yawn – Y-A-W-N."

J.R.: Remember who this girl is. She pushed Babe down a flight of stairs. She poisoned my father, she poisoned Krystal. Little Adam would've died if he would've even gotten a spoonful of that soup. Does any of this even --

Jamie: Three-letter word for "idiot" -- "you."

[Christmas music plays]

Lily: Leather wallet for Dad and a figurine for Mom.

Jonathan: Oh. Oh. Are you following me today instead of Aidan?

Man: Stay away from that girl.

Jonathan: Who -- Lily Montgomery? She's my friend. I won't hurt her. Watch.

Lily: One --

Jonathan: Hi, Lily.

Lily: Leather wallet for Dad.

Jonathan: Hey, it's me, Jonathan.

Lily: Figurine for Mom. One warm-up suit for Reggie.

Jonathan: Uh, hmm, you don't look so good, and I know you don't like clouds, so I thought you might like to see a friendly face -- me. Hmm, did I say "clouds"?

Lily: Mom --

Jonathan: I meant "crowds, crowds." "Crowds." Is that right?

Lily: Dad, Mom, Reggie --

Jonathan: Uh, I brought you a map of the mall.

Lily: Leather wallet for Dad.

Jonathan: And sometimes I have a hard time finding my way around here because of all the crowd -- crowds that are in the way. I mean, the map doesn't have all the people on it. You -- you see? Look, Lily, right here? There are four department stores on every corner and -- and right here is where we are where it's pointing and saying "You Are Here." And then down here, they have all the stores listed in types so that you can find them a little easier, so if you need to go to a clothing store or a pet store or a baby store, you -- you can find it easily. Do you like the map I brought you, Lily?

Lily: Yes. Thank you.

Jonathan: If you want, I can walk -- walk you to the stores you need to go to, Lily, so that you don't get lost.

Lily: I don't think I can do this. Who's that man over there?

Jonathan: Oh, oh, he's following me to make -- make sure I don't kill anyone today.

Lily: I don't like the way he's looking over here.

Jonathan: Oh, he's not looking at you, Lily. He's looking at me. He doesn't trust me because he doesn't know me, but nobody in Pine Valley really does. If you look around long enough, you'll see that pretty much everybody looks at me the same way.

Lily: I don't like it.

Jonathan: Hmm, it's ok. He doesn't know that I'm better now. Do you want me to help you shop?

Lily: No. Too many people.

Jonathan: Hmm. They won't bother you. They came to see Santa Claus. See? He's right over there visiting with the children. All of these people are just full of the Christmas spirit. They won't hurt -- they won't hurt you.

Lily: I'm not good at Christmas spirit. I hate being me.

Babe: Know how to make J.R. go from semi-decent to totally evil in 10 seconds flat?

Josh: I'm sorry -- you just said "J.R." and "decent" in the same sentence. I'm trying not to laugh.

Babe: You actually care about the guy. Be nice to him.

Josh: What, he blow up at you again?

Babe: Hates me more than ever now, and besides my few measly hours a week that I'm hoping to get with my son, my stake at Fusion is pretty much all I have left.

Josh: Yeah, well, lucky for you that isn't much to sneeze at.

Babe: Well, it's definitely brought on a few sniffles --

Josh: Thank you.

Babe: That's for sure. And the thing is I don't even care what they think about me personally. It's what they think about me professionally that stinks. And they're right -- that's the problem is I am in over my head, and, Josh, I don't know anything about business. So that brings me to you.

Josh: Yes! The moment I've been waiting for!

Babe: Ok, sit down. Don't get too excited. First, you did work at Wall Street before you came to Pine Valley, right?

Josh: Ah -- uses me for my mind, story of my life.

Babe: Well, I don't even know a spreadsheet from a duvet.

Josh: Well, there's plenty of bigtime CEOs out there who could probably say the same thing if they were being honest.

Babe: See? I knew you were the guy to come to. I feel better already.

Josh: Yeah, well, don't get too excited. There is the matter of my payment, Miss Carey. How does tutor with benefits sound to you?

Babe: Hmm. How does tutor with gratitude sound to you?

Josh: Only because you're such a desperate case.

Babe: So we're set?

Josh: Fine.

Babe: Tutor. You'll be a great tutor.

Josh: Yeah, I think I could teach you a few things.

[Babe chuckles]

Amanda: Morning, boss. I brought your favorite extra-foamy caramel latte.

Babe: No way. No freaking way you hired this head case to work for you.

Erica: I like you, Simone. I want to keep on liking you. But if you don't get your nose out of those files --

Simone: Ok. Well, the only thing worse than an ultimatum is an open-ended ultimatum.

Erica: Then you better start talking. Tell us where my daughter is.

Ryan: There's no possible way that Kendall would leave here without clueing you in. I mean, she's still got a company to run.

Simone: Well, she has a lot of help now. And to be honest with you, the girl -- she really is not into business these days. No.

Ryan: You don't have to protect her from me, Simone, not anymore. I made a mistake. Ok, I believed that her motives for making this baby were selfish, and I was wrong. She wasn't out to hurt Greenlee. I found out. Simone, I found out what happened that night, the night that she conceived her child and everything that she did was 100% for Greenlee. It was probably the most unselfish thing she's ever done in her whole life. Greenlee couldn't see that, but I do. I see that now.

Erica: Please, Simone. Please, Kendall needs so badly to have someone believe her, Ryan especially. So, please, Simone. Please, give him that opportunity to let Kendall know he's on her side. Please, Simone. It could change everything.

Simone: Oh. Oh, all right. But you cannot tell her it came from me. She flew to Antola to get her divorce.

Erica: She's going through with her divorce?

Simone: Yeah.

Erica: Oh! Is she alone?

Simone: Her, herself, and Kendall.

Erica: Oh, thank you!

Simone: Ok.

Erica: Oh, thank you so much, Simone. Thank you! Oh, and thank you. There will be a big donation in the poor box for that answered prayer.

Kendall: Thought this was a 5-star hotel. Some security. They just let strangers walk into people's rooms?

Zach: I'm not a stranger, I'm your husband -- for a few more hours anyway. Here you go.

Kendall: Thanks. What, they -- you just told them you were my husband, and they handed you a room key?

Zach: No, I had to be a little sneakier than that. Saw a couple of chambermaids, and I told them that I had a gift for my wife on the last day of our marriage. I thought it was romantic.

Kendall: So you lied. Well, that makes more sense, it being you and all.

Zach: I didn't lie, not this time.

Simone: Would you verify that order? I mean, sure, I am stoked to have a piece of the Fusion pie, but to be honest, you know, I liked the way things were before, with Kendall, Greenlee, and me at each other's throats, working late hours, making history, kicking butt. You know, no offense, but ever since you wheeled off into oblivion, things around here have really gone to pot.

Erica: Babe Carey, an equal in Fusion? I mean, I can hardly say the words out loud without swallowing my tongue.

Simone: Greenlee's parting shot was really rotten.

Erica: It was unthinkable. I mean, Babe Carey? She isn't just anybody off the streets. Babe Carey stole Bianca’s baby. I mean, she let us think for almost a year that the baby was dead. And for Greenlee just to gift over all her shares to Babe Carey, of all people? You know what? Greenlee deserves everything she gets. She is just pure evil.

Ryan: Whoa, whoa, Erica, please, all right? I can't stand here and listen to you trash Greenlee like that. I can't do it.

Erica: You know something, Ryan? Greenlee should be kissing Kendall's feet for all the sacrifices she made for her. And I'm sorry, I truly am sorry, but I cannot keep quiet any longer. I mean, Kendall deserves a lot better than this for all she did for Greenlee.

Kendall: It's incredible.

Zach: It's why I wanted you to have it.

Kendall: You're really giving me this for divorcing you?

Zach: I've heard it said that the devil used the dragonfly to weigh the bad in people's souls. If the bad outweighs the good, he's found himself another roommate.

Kendall: Well, if you really want to know where I'm going to end up, I could have saved you some major, major cash. Satan already has a pitchfork with my name on it.

Zach: He's going to have to fight for you. Dragonflies, hmm?

Kendall: Hmm.

Zach: I don't know. I just like them, because people are scared of them. They're pretty harmless, just nature's gentle reminder that things aren't always as they seem.

Kendall: Very deep. That still doesn't change how weird it is. I mean, most husbands don't give their wives bling to commemorate their divorce.

Zach: I'm not most husbands.

Kendall: Right, but again, I ask, why did you give this to me, Zach, really?

[Knock on door]

Zach: That's got to be our attorney.

Kendall: I haven't even showered yet.

Zach: It's ok.

Kendall: I haven't changed.

Zach: He's just going to brief us on what we're doing in the courtroom later. Hey.

Man: Mr. Slater. Lovely to see you again. Ah, and you must be Kendall.

Kendall: Yes.

Man: Eric McLeod. Oh, if my hands are a bit sticky, my apologies. A pastry tray went past in the lobby, and I couldn't well resist. Don't tell me. The accent's got you baffled. Well, I'm not from these parts. Came on holiday from Edinburgh 15 years back, fell in love with the ale here, and I never went back. Now, you'll be needing these in chambers later to finalize the divorce.

[Eric whistles]

Eric: Well, ain't that a beaut. How many smackers did that set you back, ma'am -- if I may ask?

Kendall: Oh, not a penny. It was a gift. My husband, Zach, just gave it to me.

Eric: On the day of your divorce? Well, that's a first. The only pins I've seen on D-day were sticking out of voodoo dolls. I'll need you to look these over and initial here and here.

Zach: Ok. There are no voodoo dolls in this divorce.

Kendall: None that we know of, anyway.

Zach: You'll find that my wife and I are pretty reasonable people. You have a pen for me?

Kendall: Yeah.

Zach: Thanks, honey.

Kendall: Here.

Zach: Thank you.

Eric: You did hire me to terminate this marriage, did you not?

Zach: Yep.

Kendall: Yeah.

Eric: Well, then you best stop this nonsense this instant.

Kendall: What did we do?

Eric: The gift-giving, the smiles, the touchy-feely malarkey. You behave that way in front of a judge, and you'll be accused of fraud and deported straight away.

Zach: Why, because we don't hate each other?

Eric: Look, I don't know what you're trying to pull here, Mr. And Mrs. Slater, but there's something between you, something you're not telling me -- or each other. All right, come on, out with it. Oww.

J.R.: The burrito was still frozen in the middle. I had to reheat it. Oh, my mouth is dry. What do you got to drink in there?

Jamie: I've got a Molecular Biology class to get to.

J.R.: Not until you tell me why you let that wack with the rack under your roof.

Jamie: I am well aware of Amanda's mental instability.

J.R.: So you sleep with a meat cleaver under your pillow?

Jamie: You ever notice you can't tell what's inside one of these things until you take a bite? That's how I'm approaching the whole Amanda situation.

J.R.: Oh, that's good. Play detective, be just like Daddy, while Amanda's out there plotting her next attack.

Jamie: You want to talk just like Daddy? You and Adam are a two-man lynch mob. I mean, do you guys ever get the facts before you tie the noose? I'm not snowed by Amanda. If I find out she's trouble, you know, real lethal trouble, then I'll take her down, personally.

J.R.: Hmm. Thanks for the burrito. Good luck with your toaster tart. You're going to need it.

Amanda: You know, it is one thing for you to go around and spread your lies about me out on the streets, but I am in no way going to let you come around here and spew your hate at my job.

Babe: Got a tape recorder, Josh? Sounds like another little threat coming on, because if I end up back in the hospital, we know it's flipped-out skankarilla who put me there.

Amanda: I love it. You mowed me down, almost killed me, but yet I'm the one everyone's supposed to be afraid of. You're a complete moron, Babe. You know, they make those "I'm with stupid" shirts in baby sizes. Now, do you think if I got Little A one, J.R. would let him wear it when he's around you?

Josh: Amanda, could you go check the voicemail, please, see if the publicist for Monday's guest has checked in yet.

Amanda: I'm all over it.

Babe: Tell me this was Erica's idea. Tell me you had nothing to do with hiring that girl.

Josh: Guilty.

Babe: My God, Josh. Did she put poisoning my entire family on her resume, or how about pushing me down the stairs, or do you know that she came after me with an electric saw the night that the Roadside caught fire? Look, please, you were even there. You helped me catch her with buying the drugs that she was going to use on Jamie. This is not the type of girl you want delivering your coffee.

Josh: You think I don't know what a screwball she is? I'm real clear on that, about as clear as I am in not wanting to spend the rest of my life making Erica Kane look good. Believe it or not, the two go hand in hand.

Babe: Ok, fine. Enlighten me, then. Give me one good reason why a homicidal wack job like Amanda deserves a new beginning.

Simone: I really have to get back to work. Now that my money's in the mix, slacking off is really so unrewarding.

Ryan: I have to go, too.

Erica: Oh, Ryan, wait, please. I'm sorry, I really am. I am sorry. I know that you still have feelings for Greenlee. But even you, you have to admit that what Greenlee has done, that was really cruel.

Ryan: People can do unforgivable things when they're in a painful place.

Erica: Well, one thing that has my heart singing is that Kendall is going through with that divorce. I mean, since the day I heard that she married Zach Slater, I mean, I've been praying for this day.

Ryan: And I suppose I can get on that page with you, Erica. I mean, I wouldn't wish the guy on my worst enemy.

Erica: And now with Zach Slater out of the picture, I mean, Kendall can start fresh. She has the world at her feet again, Ryan. I know what you're thinking.

Ryan: I don't think you do.

Erica: You're not considering flying down there, to tell her that you understand why she conceived your child? You're not thinking how much it would help her to make a more rational decision about what to do next with the baby, your son?

Ryan: I'll see you later.

Erica: Oh, I know that you've already answered one of my prayers today already, but if you're not too busy, could you please just give Ryan and Kendall a push towards each other? I'd really appreciate it, because they really need to be together, Lord. Trust me.

Kendall: Just because we don't despise each other --

Zach: People get divorced for reasons other than hatred.

Kendall: It doesn't mean that we want to stay married.

Zach: What bearing on the judge --

Eric: Let me be perfectly clear, people. If you don't act like you want to claw out one another's eyes, the judge will make your lives a bloody disaster and this whole trip will be a waste of time and money.

Kendall: Yeah, but isn't it up to us if we want to get a divorce? I mean, what does he care if we don't hate being in the same room as each other?

Eric: We are not talking about your average judge, my love. This man hates rich Americans, and he won't allow his court to be turned into a divorce mill.

Zach: Fine. We'll get another judge.

Eric: Well, then you'll go to another island. He's all you got, I'm afraid.

Kendall: Ok. You're a lazy pig. I -- I hate you. You're nasty and you're dirty and you don't -- bring me flowers anymore.

Zach: Ok, you don't write me love songs. You don't put dinner on the table when I get home. There's no remote control, and the toilet seat, if I have to put that up one more time --

Eric: Oh, God, help us all. Well, I trust you'll have this hate thing down pat when I see you at the courthouse in two hours. Room 201, and don't be late.

Zach: Oy, vay.

Kendall: Don't worry. The judge will have to get a restraining divorce --

Zach: I don't want this divorce.

Kendall: I know why you want to call off the divorce. You want the pin back. I mean, it is pretty cool.

Zach: I love you. And I don't want this marriage to end. It's as simple as that. And I know, you don't want me in your life, I get that, I accept it, and I'm not telling you this to change your mind.

Kendall: Well, then why are you telling me this?

Zach: Because I want you to know where I stand.

Kendall: Well, I don't know where you stand. I mean, you tell me that you love me, you say that you don't want our marriage to end, but you're not lifting a finger to fight for me.

Zach: And I won't. The whole world's pressuring you to do what they want to do. You know, everyone knows what's best for Kendall, but no one's asking you. No one is trusting you to know what you want and what's best for you. Well, I do. I trust you. I -- I believe in you, your mind, and your judgment. And how could I know your heart better than you do? I don't. I can't.

Kendall: That makes you the only person who has ever believed that I know what I'm doing.

Jonathan: There. Is that quieter, Lily?

Lily: Yeah, but that doesn't even make that much difference, because inside my head it's still really loud. I think I'm just too weird to shop for Christmas.

Jonathan: You're not weird, and you're not supposed to call yourself names, Lily. Remember what our Life Skills teacher said, that that isn't good?

Lily: I remember what Ms. Santos-Keefer said. But look at me. I have to wear sunglasses indoors because I don't like red, and I don't like being touched, and that's pretty inevitable in a mall filled with thousands of people. And I can't even buy three Christmas presents because my heart is racing and my mind is all jumbled up. And that makes me weird, or different, at least.

Jonathan: Different isn't bad, Lily. I'm different, and besides, you're not all that different, and there's millions of people that don't even celebrate Christmas. They don't have the spirit at all, but they're not weird.

Lily: That's true.

Jonathan: I know, if you want, Lily, you can go home, where it's quieter and I can do your shopping for you. "One leather wallet, one fig-- figurine, and a warm-up suit."

Lily: Warm.

Jonathan: Oh, warm, right, right. You want me to?

Lily: Well, I would like to get out of here, and I do need to get that Christmas shopping done. So ok, if you wouldn't mind.

Jonathan: Well, I wouldn't, I wouldn't. Do you know your way out?

Lily: Yes. Thanks to your map, I found an exit right over there.

Jonathan: Ok. Well, stay against the wall so that nobody will bump into you, ok?

Lily: Ok. Good strategy. Ok, bye, Jonathan.

Jonathan: Bye-bye, Lily.

Lily: Bye.

Jonathan: Isn't she the nicest? Can you believe I was going to blow her up last April? Life is so crazy. Santa, what's wrong? You don't look so good.

Santa: My breakfast is sitting in my gut like a pile of rocks. I got to go home and get to bed.

Jonathan: Well, what about all the children that are waiting?

Santa: Trust me, if they knew the alternative, they'd be glad to see me go.

Josh: I saw through Amanda the first day I met her. She's scheming, manipulative, and a liar -- and totally integral to my future at this show.

Babe: Because your assistant calls the shots?

Josh: I was put on this earth for greater things than being Ms. Diva Kane’s gofer, Babe. I mean, look at this face. Is this behind-the-scenes material to you?

Babe: Hunky and modest.

Josh: Why am I being modest if I'm trying to do everything I possibly can to get you head-over-heels in lust with me?

Erica: Josh Madden, this is absolutely the last straw. Did I or did I not tell you that this woman was never to set foot in my studio again?

Josh: Yes, you did.

Erica: Then what in God's name is she doing here?

Babe: Erica, please don't be mad at Josh. I'm the one that came by unannounced. I came to see if he could help me with something in his spare time.

Amanda: Ms. Kane, I tried to get rid of her earlier, but she refused. She's totally disrespectful.

Erica: Oh, I know all about Greenlee's handout, Babe. And I think it is the most disgusting, most despicable thing that I have ever heard. You found your way in. Find your way out. In my office, now.

Josh: I'll see you.

Babe: Ho-ho-ho. Keep digging, Amanda, because one day soon, you're going to fall in that hole, and I'm going to have so much fun burying you alive.

J.R.: Well, there he is, Little A. Old Kris Kringle in the flesh. Now, listen up, champ. The first time Daddy ever met Santa, it was a little freaky, but I can tell you from personal experience that guy up there, that guy is one cool dude. Ok? You see all those decorations? And you want to tell Santa Claus what you want for Christmas? Do you know what you want for Christmas? I bet you I can guess what you're going to get for Christmas. Yeah, see -- see that little girl up there? See, she had a nice time, too, on Santa Claus' lap.

Babe: Is that Mommy’s beautiful boy? Did Daddy bring you to see Santa, sweetie?

J.R.: Take a hike. This is not your visiting time.

Babe: It is Christmas. Make an exception. It's our son's first time seeing Santa. I think his mommy and daddy should be together for that.

J.R.: If Winifred told you where I was, I swear I'll fire her.

Babe: Winifred had nothing to do with this. It's total coincidence. Or fate. Don't you think it's fate, sweetie? Mommy's here just in time to see you with Santa.

J.R.: Babe, I'm serious. If you don't get lost, I'll call security and have you forcibly removed.

Babe: You'd do that? You'd make a huge scene and traumatize our son all because I wouldn't go to bed with you?

[Flashback]

Zach’s voice: It reminds me of you.

[Fireworks explode]

Kendall: What, the noise?

Zach: The lights. This time tomorrow you'll be a free woman.

[Back to the present]

Zach: Hey. You've never looked more beautiful than you do right now.

Kendall: Today of all days. Go figure.

Zach: If I didn't know what I was losing before, you just now made it very obvious.

Kendall: You want to pin it on for me?

Zach: There.

Kendall: You think -- you think I look like a woman itching to get rid of her mean old husband?

Zach: If you do, you are. Come on, we're going to be late.

Kendall: Zach, you -- you have been the nicest, best husband I could ever ask for.

Zach: Hey, just losing my name today. You're not losing me. I'm going to be right across the courtyard. And whatever you need, whenever you need it, it'll be there for you, and no judge or no document's going to take that away.

Kendall: Wait. I don't want it to end this way.

Zach: How do you want it to end?

Amanda: Josh, I need your help.

Josh: Having trouble with those syndicator elves again?

Amanda: I just thought I'd get into the spirit. But my problem is not about work. It's about play. I need you to help me totally destroy Babe Carey.

Babe: You're almost there, big boy. Are you excited? Am I going to be able to get a picture of my son on Santa's lap, or are you going to bribe the photographer? More punishment for me loving you too much to jump into bed?

J.R.: I'm serious, Babe, back off. Hey, look, Little Adam. Santa Claus. Hey, Santa, say hi to my kid for me, huh?

Babe: Get your hands off my son. This isn't Santa. He's a murderer!

Kendall: I cannot believe I'm about to say this. Never, ever in a million years did I ever believe I would be saying these words to you.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Jonathan (to J.R.): You're a very bad man, and you're making me really angry.

Adam (to Krystal): Go. Stand back.

Krystal (to Adam): No, no, you're going to have to go through me.

Man: No, get out of here!

Zach (to Ryan): Is that why you're pushing for this divorce -- to marry the mother of your child?

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