All My Children Transcript Wednesday 5/25/05

By Boo
Proofread by Gisele

Bianca: Where did Lily go?

Reggie: Well, she said something about a surprise for Erica and Jack, so I'm guessing she went to go mail it.

Bianca: Aw. Ok, well, try to get her to come visit with you guys, ok?

Reggie: Will do. I love you.

Bianca: I love you. And Ryan loves you. We all do.

Bianca: Tell him that I'm really sorry for everything he's been through. Aw. Thank you, Greenlee.

Kendall: See how good I am? I haven't even thrown myself at your feet and begged you to stay.

Bianca: You warrior princess.

Kendall: No, I'm not. Ok, I'm ok. I'm cool. I'm cool. I'm ok.

Bianca: You are. You really are ok. I'm just a plane ride away. And he's even closer -- the guy who's going to love you the way you deserve. You have faith.

Kendall: And you say 10 times every day "Auntie Kendall loves me." Yes.

Bianca: You're the only person who can call her that.

Kendall: Yeah, I hope so.

Bianca: All right. We've got to go.

Kendall: Yeah.

Bianca: We're going to miss you so much.

Greenlee: Can I borrow your red Gucci while you're gone? I'll take that as a yes.

Kendall: Bye!

Bianca: Have fun!

[Bianca and Miranda board a boat and sail away.]

Babe: We need to call someone.

Jamie: I'm already here. And you just inspired me with a very, very sexy break. I'm ready to fix the leak, put up ceiling board, mud the seam, prime, paint. Take no time at all.

Babe: What?

J.R.: Wow, it's amazing how you've mastered this domestic disaster. I knew that you could fix engines. Well, really, I didn't. Just go along with me here. You're into cars, but you're also a one-man, blue-collar union.

Jamie: Ow, you really got me with that one. You know, but I don't feel like a complete loser standing next to someone who's a useless sack with no skills, no job, and just plenty of their daddy's money.

J.R.: You know, but it's good to see that Babe hasn't changed. She's like to wallow around, so you gave her just the sty to do it.

Jamie: Careful, J.R. You're pretty hair might get messed up the hard way.

J.R.: You know, I see why you gave up Phoebe's deal for you to become an MD. I mean, why would you want, like, a nice house and cars and money when you could have all this?

Babe: God, J.R., just stop it. Stop it right now.

Zach: Kendall.

Greenlee: Gotcha.

Zach: Greenlee.

Greenlee: Expecting a mint on the pillow or Kendall? Undercover attack, get her to marry you before she's too awake and sane to refuse? Surprise.

Zach: Oh. You're dressed. I'm not sure what you want from me then. Going to lock me in here, too?

Greenlee: I'll do whatever it takes to stop you from wrecking Kendall’s life.

Kendall: I thought you were gone.

Ethan: Not until we've had a chance to talk.

Kendall: What, you find some new and interesting way to say nothing and change nothing? Sounds great. Have a blast.

Ethan: Kendall, please, I was wrong.

Jamie: What is with you? Why aren't you at work? Oh, that's right -- Ethan Cambias canned you. And again you're not with the son that you'd kill to keep from us.

J.R.: Oh, Jamie, I take care of my son, and believe it or not, I'd like to take care of you.

Jamie: This wrench? It's been calling your name since you walked in.

J.R.: Phoebe offered you the whole damn world, and what did you do? Left it all behind for a deep-fried piece of --

Jamie: You know what, say it. Do me a favor and say it.

Babe: Jamie, seriously, this is exactly what he wants. He probably has the cops on speed-dial.

Amanda: So this is what you are now, guys who itch to rip each other up?

J.R.: Amanda, you need to stay out of it.

Amanda: You don't scare me, J.R. I knew you when you were still Junior. You took me the movies, you cried when Simba's dad got killed.

J.R.: Oh, you want to talk about cartoons? James still watches the Saturday morning lineup.

Amanda: I remember when you were brothers. When you itched, when he scratched, and there was no telling where you ended and he began. You remember how hard it was for me with Tim. He was always getting tired of me, and you guys let me hang -- big brothers, best friends. Guys too nice to call me "squirt" and tell me to get lost, and I never forgot. When did you?

Jamie: Amanda, heads up -- the "good old days before you became a jackass" speech doesn't work on J.R.

Amanda: Yeah, ever since J.R. and Babe got married and all hell broke loose. Sorry I missed that. But I'm here now, and so is your son.

J.R.: Yeah, that's the best thing my ex-wife ever did, and even then all she had to do was lie on her back.

Amanda: Ok, what is wrong with you? She is the reason your son exists. How can you talk about her like she's some -- I know you love your boy, but you are wrong to treat his mother like that, just like you're wrong to keep him all to yourself.

J.R.: You come into town, you were lucky enough to score a room in my house, and yet you have the brass to tell me how to raise my son and live my life?

Amanda: You cut his mother out of his life and you cut out his heart. Why? Because Babe and Jamie love each other? You'd hurt your son because your ego took a hit?

Babe: Amanda, please, he is no longer your neat-o buddy from grade school. Please don't mess with him.

Amanda: Let him go off. Maybe he'll snap out of it. This isn't the real J.R., not deep down. He hasn't turned into some soul-eating zombie no matter how much he acts like one.

J.R.: What, you think we're pals, that we're buddies? Were you just a 6-year-old pity party. We felt bad for you, Amanda, because Daddy Porkchop was too busy keeping your psycho mommy Janet from killing somebody!

Jamie: Get out before I toss you down those stairs!

J.R.: By the way -- see this? Here's some money. Get yourself a plumber -- on me. And you get yourself a bus ticket and a hotel room. I don't give a damn! You're out of my house!

Zach: I'm not here to kidnap Kendall or to force her into anything.

Greenlee: You broke into a room, calling her name by mistake?

Zach: No, I got a key. And as it turns out, so do you.

Greenlee: I can be trusted.

Zach: With what, saving her from me?

Greenlee: Score one in a nutshell.

Zach: Can I ask you something? Why -- wow. Why do you think it'd be so bad to be married to me?

Greenlee: A family of dysfunctional men fighting a blood feud, the wife gets the splatter.

Zach hmm.

Greenlee: I won't let Kendall land in the middle of your father-son mess.

Zach: Been there, right?

Greenlee: It's not a party living with someone who feels cursed with bad genes.

Zach: Mm-hmm. But Ryan is still your hero?

Greenlee: He could be father of the freaking year next to you. At least he's dealing with his family curse instead of taking prisoners.

Zach: That's not really a fair thing to say because he's the only Lavery left standing -- curse control made simple.

Greenlee: You know what? Rotten childhoods don't excuse anything if you're my age or over. I don't care what your daddy did to you. I got over my stuff, Ryan's working on his, and now you work on your own. End the family warfare, and try to do it before you scar your son for life.

Kendall: You can't do that. You can't jerk me around and make me open up just so you can slap me down again. No, I am done with that.

Ethan: Just hear me out.

Kendall: No, go to hell.

Ethan: Kendall, you walked into that ocean before. You were drowning -- in hurt, pain, grief for losing Ryan. I pulled you out of the waves that night, put my jacket around you, I brushed the sand from your hair.

Kendall: Well, how many times does a girl have to say "Thank you"?

Ethan: I'm the one drowning now, Kendall. I'm out there on the waves getting sucked under again and again -- hate, revenge, anger, pain. You reached out to save me, and I slapped your hand away. I was an idiot. I don't want to go under ever again.

Kendall: Whatever it is, I don't care.

Ethan: It's Cambias. A signed, notarized document. Gives my half of it to Zach. I don't want Cambias. I just want you.

Zach: Walking away is not as easy as it sounds.

Greenlee: One foot in front of the other. Don't look back.

Zach: Yeah. That may work for your husband. Being childless, he doesn't have to worry about his son or his daughter falling in with the family line.

Greenlee: I don't care if your father set fire to an orphanage on Christmas Eve. His evil died with him. But you? You go on hurting people. Your mission was to save Ethan from the Cambias soul-crushing empire, and all you've done is make him worse. And Kendall is payback and proof that you can steal what your son loves most. What parent manual from hell did you crib that from? Uh-uh, I'm not done with you yet.

Zach: You think I'm a monster, don't you? Maybe I'm no different from any other parent, trying to guide his child over the rough spots.

Greenlee: You guided Ethan straight into a ditch. You've given him nothing but grief, and he hates you for it.

Zach: What about Jackson? Ever interfere in your life?

Greenlee: Oh, yeah, and it drives me crazy. But even at his worst, I can feel my father's love. But you -- you -- the way you mess with Ethan, it's twisted. Stealing his fiancée, his birthright? Where's the love in that?

Zach: Did you know that your new stepmother asked me to marry her instead of Kendall?

Greenlee: Erica's Erica, and my father works overtime to run my life, but as humongous pains go, they never set out to destroy their children.

Zach: Ethan had a choice -- hang on to Kendall or hang on to Cambias. He chose Cambias. Once he realizes he makes a mistake, I don't know, maybe he'll come to his senses.

Greenlee: Don't tell me this war against your son is all about saving him. You're ruining him. You couldn't hurt him more if you flat-out hated him.

Zach: Maybe we should have this conversation when you have children of your own.

Greenlee: Ryan would never do to his son --

Zach: What his father did to him?

Greenlee: Some people are not cut out to be fathers. My husband is not one of them, but you are.

Zach: Fathers live in their sons.

Greenlee: You staged your own death to pay your old man back, and now you pick up where he left off. Great life lesson you're teaching Ethan. He can be just as dead inside, filled with the same hate that made you run like crazy from your father.

Zach: Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Greenlee: Then stop it. Stop trying to save Ethan by killing off all the love.

Zach: Didn't know you cared.

Greenlee: I don't care about you or Ethan, but Kendall marrying into that legacy? My friend can do a whole lot better.

Kendall: Notarized by who, the pool boy? Let me see this. This isn't -- this isn't for real. Is this for real?

Ethan: I'm done with Zach and I'm done with Cambias. It was an ugly mistake, one I've paid for. I want to be Ethan Ramsey again -- in England, Florida, Pine Valley, wherever. I want to be the man that you love. I am that man, I promise you.

Kendall: No, you can't do this. You snuck up on me. You can't just -- you can't just wave this in my face.

Ethan: You know, your sister and I talked last night, and she told me it was time for me to find my own family, and I -- I spent the night thinking about the wonderful family that we can have, you and I. Is that Erica's?

Kendall: She threw, I caught.

Ethan: You'll be the next bride.

Kendall: It's a wives' tale.

Ethan: You want your wedding big or small, hmm? Here or in Pine Valley? I vote for here. I vote for tonight.

Kendall: Wait a minute. Ethan, what are you saying?

Ethan: I'm saying that I, Ethan, take you, Kendall, is what I'm saying. Marry me.

Amanda: You'd just kick me out, not even try?

J.R.: You made your decision, I made mine.

Amanda: I have nowhere to go.

J.R.: Aw. Well, maybe we can call up the state prison. Krystal could fluff the pillows in your mommy's old cell. I see. I see how you're going to play it, psycho.

Jamie: You get a big rush in going off on her? Get the hell out of my home, now.

J.R.: Your bags will be on the front door. You're done. Not just with my house. Done.

Amanda: He's so -- oh, he's so --

Babe: Hey, I know, and I'm sorry. It's ok.

Amanda: I had to say it. It was the right thing to do. He just wouldn't listen.

Babe: No, no, no, he listened, trust me, and he'll remember.

Amanda: I can take it, but the way he treats you? You gave him that beautiful baby boy.

Jamie: It's just another thing for J.R. to own, another way to stick it to Babe. But it won't always be that way. Little Adam will be where he belongs soon enough. Come on. I'll help you go pick up your stuff from the mansion.

Amanda: And go where?

Babe: Let's not worry about that now. The only thing is you're not taking J.R. on, not by yourself.

Amanda: I told him off. I'll have to deal.

Jamie: The guy that was just talking smack? No blow too low? You don't want to do that.

Amanda: Then I'll go to Adam. I have to do something until I land a job and a place to crash. You know, and I'm just not ready to give up on J.R., not yet.

Babe: Here. Just go on, bang your head with this. It's the same difference as trying to get to J.R. You're very brave.

Amanda: Or really stupid.

Babe: No, I didn't say that.

Amanda: Not out loud, at least. Ok, so I can't fix J.R., but I can fix this glitch -- and I will.

Zach: Ay-yi-yi. I'm sorry. I am so disappointed I'm not on your a-list, I can't even begin to tell you. But did you ever stop to think that Kendall may have enjoyed my honest offer?

Greenlee: Right. You knew Kendall was hurting. Her love wasn't enough for Ethan, and it ripped her to shreds, so you moved in and low-balled an offer she couldn't refuse, because she's too proud to walk away with nothing.

Zach: She knows what she's getting into.

Greenlee: Business is business, right? Well, as deals go, this sucks. Kendall brings so much more to the table, a hundred times your guts, your smarts, your everything.

Zach: Hmm.

Greenlee: She's totally wasted on you.

Zach: Yeah. Is she aware that you're her number one fan?

Greenlee: What I think of Kendall is none of her business. But she saved my life when I was about to take a flying leap off of a roof, and her buying into your payback marriage -- that's Kendall flying off the roof. She can't see it, but I can.

Zach: She stands to gain a lot more than she will lose.

Greenlee: No one gains anything because of the way you go about it. Keep Ethan from becoming a vengeance machine by going after him with a vengeance, marry Kendall when you're not in love with her? Your spin wrecks lives, and I'm not going to let Kendall go down that dead-end road with you.

Zach: You're welcome to try and stop me if you like.

Ethan: You know, I miss this, this curl right here. I missed you. I don't want to miss you anymore. Will it be tonight?

Kendall: You come here -- you come here and you show up with Bianca. You told me no, you told me that we're done. You said -- you said it was over. You said that we were done.

Ethan: We're not done. We'll never be done.

Kendall: No. No, you didn't want to give it up. You didn't want to give up the birthright, the legacy, your name, blah, blah, blah. You told me no. You told me no. Why didn't you listen to me? I tried to get through to you. I tried to get through to you, but you wouldn't listen to me.

Ethan: Are you still angry with me? Is that it?

Kendall: No. No, that's not it. It's just that I --

Ethan: You don't love me? What -- what is it? Huh? What are you trying to say?

Zach: Hey, Ethan. I think what she's trying to say is that she's married already.

Ethan: Is it true?

Kendall: Last night -- Zach and I, we married last night.

Ethan: You wanted me done with all things Cambias. I'm done with you, Mrs. Cambias. Congratulations to the happy couple.

Kendall: Wait, Ethan, Ethan! Ethan --

Zach: It's all right.

Kendall: No, stop, shut up. Just shut up! Shut up!

Amanda: Hmm, how was that?

J.R.: Oh. You were fair.

Amanda: Not fabulous, incredible, blog-to-the-world great?

J.R.: Ok, you were brilliant.

Amanda: And you were pure genius. Hmm. There's nothing hotter.

Babe: You know, I probably should call in sick to work, and that way I could stay with you, and I could play your handygirl sidekick instead of pouring my zillionth whiskey shots.

Jamie: I got this covered.

Babe: Uh, yeah, I think you got that the other way around. So come on down. You've been working for three hours straight with no break.

Jamie: I can't. My arms are permanently stuck this way.

Babe: Well, you can at least come down and give me a good-bye kiss. You don't need your arms for that.

Jamie: How about a good-bye wave?

Babe: Hmm, I just love a good-bye wave. Get over here. So how you doing after devil boy's visit?

Jamie: J.R. is a punk in pinstripes. He'll try to use school, cash, whatever to make me crawl. But I'm not a dollar-sign guy. Never have been. He doesn't get me, he doesn't get what we have.

Babe: I bet most people don't get what we have.

Jamie: What, you think they'd expect us to give all this up? Are you crazy?

Babe: So we're here and we're happy, but Amanda -- the poor girl, she has no idea what she's getting herself into. I wouldn't want to think what J.R.’s done to her so far.

J.R.: Was it everything you expected?

Amanda: I do have some experience, if you haven't noticed.

J.R.: Bush leagues. When you play with the Chandlers, you play in the majors.

Amanda: Come on. They already think you're Satan. All you had to do was flash your tail and horns. I, on the other hand, had to prove that even though I live with you and drive your dad's coupe, that I'm on their side.

J.R.: Oh, you're good, you're good. You flinched even when I brought out the interplanet mom. Was that all for show or did that push you too far?

Amanda: I'm wounded. Can't you tell? Not exactly news Mom's a screaming nutbag.

J.R.: Well, that slap certainly felt real.

Amanda: Not exactly the kind of skin-on-skin contact I want from you, but I'll take what I can get.

J.R.: Would you like another go?

Amanda: Tempting, very.

J.R.: No, but, seriously, it was perfect -- the slap, the eyes welling up. Let me ask you -- after I left, did they pat you on the head and give you milk and cookies?

Amanda: I'm sweet, innocent, naive Amanda who doesn't know what she's in for with big-meanie J.R. But trust me, when I'm done with Jamie, he'll do a lot more than pat me on the head.

J.R.: So, how long till Jamie gets your special brand of comfort?

Amanda: Tonight for sure.

J.R.: Really?

Amanda: God, J.R., be serious. Jamie's all ooey-gooey "Babe, my love." I'm good, but give me a break. This is going to be a long, hard, sweaty struggle, but worth it all in the end.

J.R.: You just went from confident to cocky. I like that. So what's next?

Amanda: Well, I told my pals Babe and Jamie that I'd handle the evil J.R. Whoops. I'm about to find out that you're not so easy after all.

Greenlee: Ethan was finally ready to sign off on Cambias for you, but you already married his father. He did totally what you wanted. He -- he gave up his name, his birthright, all for the love of you. I mean, it was down to the finish, but he finally came through for you the way you needed him to.

Kendall: Yeah, well, he came through too late.

Greenlee: Proves one thing.

Kendall: Yeah, that his timing sucks!

Greenlee: That I was wrong -- way wrong. Ethan must really care about you.

Kendall: Now you tell me he really loves me? Now you admit it? You piled on Ethan for months. You called him selfish and heartless. And now you're saying, what, the guy's the real deal, and he really loves me? Well, don't snap your neck on the 180.

Greenlee: Me? You didn't think Ethan was all that, either, or you wouldn't have sneaked into marriage with Zach. This should be yours and Ethan’s wedding day. Instead, you're packing for the honeymoon from hell.

Kendall: That's because Ethan was too damn late.

Greenlee: No, it's because you were too much in a hurry to stick it to him. You ignored everyone who loves you to race into matrimony with the payback king. As wrong as I was about Ethan, I wasn't wrong about Zach.

Kendall: Is that all you get from this -- being right and crowing about it?

Greenlee: I hate it. I wish I could make it yesterday.

Kendall: What, when you locked Zach inside the pool house? Was that part of your master plan to keep my whole plot of revenge from blowing up? Locking Zach inside a king-sized cabana with an annoying parrot?

Greenlee: Huh. What was I thinking? Oh, that's right -- trying to save you from the mess you're in now. Spank me.

Kendall: Are we in high school? How long did you think that that pool house would hold Zach?

Greenlee: I don't know, how long before you let him out? I should've done what you did on my wedding day and locked the bride in there instead.

Kendall: You know what, it's too late. Your stupid little plan didn't work. I'm married to Zach.

Greenlee: Well, unmarry him. Tell Zach you're changing "I do" to "I don't." Annul this nightmare and go back to Ethan.

Kendall: He'll never take me -- do you honestly think he'll take me back, Greenlee? You were there. You saw him.

Kendall: You know what the funny part is of all this? Zach told me. He told me, and he was right. Ethan -- Ethan could forgive me for sleeping with J.R., but he'll never forgive me for this.

Ethan: Well, congratulations, Dad. You and Kendall really got what you wanted to.

Zach: Stop.

Ethan: I'll have my secretary send you a toaster. Happy honeymoon.

Zach: If you still want Kendall --

Ethan: I don't have to listen to you.

Zach: No. But if you don't, you're not as smart as I thought you were.

Jamie: What did he do to you?

Amanda: Nothing. I'm fine. I just --

Jamie: I know what J.R.’s capable of. Just tell me.

Amanda: Jamie, it's bad. It's all bad.

Jamie: It's ok. Don't cry.

Amanda: I'm -- I'm sorry. Making girly tears. I'm such a wuss.

Jamie: Was it a bad scene at J.R.’s?

Amanda: Jamie, did I blank out? I mean, was he mean when we were kids?

Jamie: He grew into it. Just tell me what kind of crud he pulled this time.

Amanda: J.R. said if I'm friendly to you and Babe, he won't just kick me to the curb, he's going to throw me in jail. Thanks.

Jamie: Friends, family -- J.R. loves a good frame. So what'd he get you for?

Amanda: Grand theft.

Jamie: Nice.

Amanda: I just wanted it to be like when we were kids, you know -- buddy power activate.

Jamie: Nah, J.R. put the kill switch on that. How's he setting you up?

Amanda: When I first showed, I told J.R. I was struggling to pay for college, and he typed in the lucky numbers on the wall safe and handed me 10 grand.

Jamie: Tuition, because J.R.’s such a nice guy, and a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Amanda: Now J.R. says if I don't join the Babe and Jamie hate club that he's going to tell the cops that I stole that money. My fingerprints are all over it. Jamie, we're still tight. How do I go about not trashing you and still not go to jail?

Jamie: Easy -- pack up your stuff and get the hell away from J.R.

J.R.: Beer, please, import, and more of that hokey, down-home advice you like to pour for free.

Babe: Well, you're in a good mood. What'd you do to Amanda?

J.R.: Sweet girl. She's got a lot to learn. We had a heart to heart. She now realizes that she was wrong and sees you for the baby-stealing skank that you are. Face it, Babe, no one could spend more than a week in this town and not realize what trash you are.

Babe: Great. So you offered she could stay in the mansion if she cut me off.

J.R.: Yeah, it was a tough decision. She struggled with that. Hey, maybe you could find a way to get your little friend back. Get another ticket to Mexico. You guys can have a girls' weekend at the beach.

Babe: Ticket?

J.R.: Yeah, you know, like the one you got Jamie?

Babe: You son of -- you hired a PI to follow us.

J.R.: It's my duty to Phoebe to keep an eye on Jamie. Oh, and by the way, that Mexican university regretfully declines his application.

Babe: He never even sent it.

J.R.: Save your postage.

Babe: You know, J.R., you know, the more you just puff up, the more pitiful you get. It just twists you up inside to see that Jamie and I are happy, and you couldn't get us on your own, so had double up and with his Aunt Phoebe. But Jamie loves me, always will, as long and as much as I'll love him. So you can go ahead and you can pay your spies and bribe your fools and just whip up some new smart-ass comments, because there's nothing you can do that'll break up me and Jamie.

Jamie: You know, J.R. needs some new material. The -- well, he stole that idea. The safecracking thing? From me, after I stole from him.

Amanda: Ooh, bad boy. When did you join the 10 most wanted?

Jamie: I was just getting some of my own back. J.R. pulled almost the same deal he's working on you -- choose sides, name your enemies.

Amanda: Alpha control freak. I don't do that trip.

Jamie: Well, blow out of that house before J.R. booby-traps your life again.

Amanda: And go where? I spent all my cash getting here.

Jamie: You can always go home.

Amanda: I don't have a home anymore, not one that I want to go back to.

Jamie: Family drama?

Amanda: Endless. My mom's working on her 13th breakdown, and my dad quit his law firm practice because taking care of “Janet from Another Planet” is a full-time job. Therapy bills have pretty much eaten through all the savings, and the house is mortgaged up the wazoo. Mom's zoned out in her room and dad is zoned out worry about her. I bet they haven't even noticed that I'm gone.

Jamie: Trevor still keeps up with my mom, but he never dropped a clue it was so bad.

Amanda: I used to dream in bed, you know, of better places to be. I was happy here. I drove past my old house we used to live in, and there was this little girl playing in the yard, about the same age I was when we moved away. She was laughing and playing with her dog in the sprinklers. Total flashback to me and Harold. I can feel at home someplace, but not at J.R.’s somewhere. I just don't know where.

Jamie: I do. I know where it is -- your new home.

Amanda: I knew I had come to the right place.

Ethan: Is the irony kicking in yet? What you wanted was so close. I mean, Cambias, the empire, yours for the taking with my signature and my blessing, and you blow it.

Zach: So I did.

Ethan: Yeah, well, I guess finally the laugh's on you. You see you're this close to saving your son from your dreaded Cambias curse, and at the last second, you shoot yourself in the foot.

Zach: I didn't think you'd do it. Didn't think you'd give up the name, the money, and the power.

Ethan: Well, neither did Kendall, which makes you perfect for each other.

Zach: We're not perfect for each other. We're only married on paper.

Ethan: Who said romance was dead?

Zach: I don't love Kendall. You do. So this is it, last chance. I'm offering you an even swamp -- Kendall for Cambias.

Ethan: Are you serious?

Zach: Deal of a lifetime. You smart enough to take it?

Kendall: I've made my bed. Ok, so it's a little lumpy, but could be worse. I could be sharing it with my brand-new husband.

Greenlee: Anything I can do?

Kendall: I don't know, that depends. How fast can you make me a widow?

Greenlee: It's not fair -- your life collapsing when the rest of the family is cruising towards happy.

Kendall: I am beyond thrilled for Mom and Jack. They finally made it work.

Greenlee: It's because they finally found that they could trust each other in that eyes-closed, "knowing you'll always catch me" kind of way.

Kendall: Lucky them.

Greenlee: Yeah, lucky me. It's what I found with Ryan. It's how we've done way more than survive. As scary as things got, that's how much better we are now. It's because we don't have secrets from each other. There's nothing that Ryan and I can't face together, and we're stronger because of it.

Kendall: Whatever you may be an expert on, Greenlee, it is not the care and feeding of your own marriage.

Greenlee: You're wrong. I know what makes us work -- trust, honesty, openness. I mean, there's nothing that Ryan can't say --

Kendall: Yeah, after it's too late?

Greenlee: That I won't understand.

Kendall: And forgive?

Greenlee: What tanked you and Ethan is basic trust issues, especially after he lied through his teeth. If there's one thing that Ryan and I learned, it's nothing healthy or good grows in the dark. I mean, the secret to a happy marriage, if you want to know --

Kendall: Shut up, already. Come on, spare me the dos and don'ts from Dr. Greenlee, please. I've had enough of the free advice from the happy housewife, not with what's about to pop in your perfect marriage to Ryan.

Greenlee: Kendall, what's about to pop into my marriage?

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Jack: Alone.

Erica: At last.

Babe (to Di): So who's watching my boy while you're out cruising bars?

Maria (to Ryan): Am I too late to save our friendship, or did I destroy that completely, too?

Kendall [while Ethan holds a knife to Zach’s throat]: Stop it! Stop! No, Ethan. Stop! No, you can't do it.

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