All My Children Transcript Tuesday 1/18/05

By Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele

Greenlee: Ryan?

Ryan: Can we keep that off, please?

Greenlee: What's with the mood lighting? Which I find very sexy, by the way.

Ryan: I just signed all the legal papers. Cambias is back in the bloodlines, where it belongs.

Greenlee: Can I talk to you about Jonathan?

Ryan: He's losing it. And now that everything's gone to Miranda and to Ethan, he says he's ok with it, but he's not. I know how he feels.

Greenlee: I don't think you do.

[Knock on door]

Reggie: Two games later and I'm still heated!

Bianca: What did you do?

Reggie: Oh, I did it. I got Jonathan good. I told him he'd better stay away from Maggie or --

Bianca: Reggie, you might've made things worse.

Jonathan: Hi. It's about time you woke up. I have a surprise for you.

Tad: Take it easy on your Uncle Tad, ok?

Colby: Show me how to head the ball like that.

Liza: You know, Tad is the best at hitting his head against inanimate objects.

Tad: Don't help, all right? I'll show you how to hit the ball later on, ok? Just don't hurt me anymore.

Colby: Mom, then can I go play with those girls?

Liza: Yeah, but stay in plain sight, all right? Go on.

Tad: Well, go on. You might as well say it.

Liza: Say what?

Tad: Oh, come on. It's killing you. Go for it.

Liza: I told you so.

Tad: Uh-huh.

Liza: Mm-hmm. I told you that Krystal Carey was a double scoop of "uh-oh" from day one.

David: Boy, does this reek of a set-up, or what?

Krystal: Well, my baby doll sends me an e-mail and tells me to meet her here, then I show up. After all these months of heartache, it still kills me.

David: She's not coming, Krystal. Anyone can fake an e-mail address.

Krystal: David, she used our keep-safe code word that I gave her when she was practically a toddler. Who else would know that?

J.R.: I want my son back.

Babe: So it's all set. You pack for Pine Valley and I'll pack for Argentina. What?

Jamie: I don't know if you mean it or if you're just trying to run me off. Either way, it's my turn to speak now. I love you, Babe.

Babe: Nice try. I don't buy it.

Jamie: I don't lie about stuff like that.

Babe: You're just -- you're just saying that because you don't want to leave.

Jamie: No, I don't want to leave because I love you.

Babe: Jamie, we shared a kiss a few days ago, that's it.

Jamie: A kiss that nearly made our hearts stop.

Babe: This is ridiculous. You can't just tank your life because you locked lips with someone and it felt good. Please, Jamie, you don't owe me this.

Jamie: That's funny, because I was just telling Liza that I didn't want you to think you owed me.

Babe: Yeah, not much at all. You only gave up your whole life, risked everything for me. And now you're a wanted man.

Jamie: But not by you?

Babe: Tad can get you out of this mess. Just please go with him. Go home, pick up the pieces. It's over.

Jamie: Hey, I am not walking out on you, not when the rest of my life is at stake right here. I'm going to stick and fight, and I'm going to win.

Krystal: For once, I agree with you, J.R. We all want your son back. We'd give anything to be able to hold him in our arms, but that just isn't possible.

J.R.: Cut the crud! I know that he's alive. You know, you just got to love modern technology. This just came in from a friend of mine. Babe is a brunette. Still looks like a dumb slut.

David: Shut the hell up!

J.R.: There's Jamie, being led around by the nose. And if you look closely, I know that it's a little hard to see, but that baby right there -- that baby is Adam Chandler III. Would you like to know what names they're going by right now? How about where this photo was taken?

David: Still two steps ahead of you?

J.R.: Not me, or the authorities. Llanview cops are clued in, as well. So are the Feds, and a few guys with big guns and little respect for human life. Yeah, pretty much sucks to be Babe and Jamie. It's no fun for you, either.

David: Why are we here?

J.R.: Well, that's a no-brainer. It's time to make you pay.

Tad: All right, I admit it -- you were right, I was wrong. You had Krystal's number from the very start. My blinders cost me plenty, including you for a while there.

Liza: Well, not so long. And I've been there. I've done that. I was deeply, madly in love, only to stand by and watch it die on the vine.

Tad: Yeah, well, Adam's better off dead.

Liza: Who said anything about Adam? But you're right, Adam was my Krystal. He was the king of betrayal.

Tad: You know what stuns me is that a couple of geniuses like us with such messy and complicated lives have failed to learn anything about love.

Liza: Well, big risks, big payoff.

Tad: Yeah, with a truckload of disaster at the end of it.

Liza: Yeah, but if you have really good friends and you plan really well, you, too, can be sitting on a bench in New Orleans waiting for a fake driver's license and a fresh start. Colby really liked it here, Tad.

Tad: I know. I'm sorry. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Greenlee: You were ok with all this.

Ryan: Yes, I was. I was ready to cut Cambias loose, and then it just kind of hit me.

Greenlee: But since way back, you were ready to sign it all over to Miranda.

Ryan: Hmm. Last year, Cambias was like a -- like a stroke of good luck that practically tackled me in the desert. And then it became solid. I ran it, I controlled it. I made it purr like a kitten.

Greenlee: Brilliantly.

Ryan: You know, all the private jet and the mounds of money, billions -- that's with a b -- that's a pretty tough act to follow. You know, that's some pretty serious revenge against the old man. It's about as far as you could possible get from living over a dry cleaners and watching all the money go to beer and belt straps.

Greenlee: Well, a life like that can cut two ways. It can make you strong or it can mess with your head, but you turned your life around.

Ryan: Hmm. I still can't go in there, you know. That's why I have the dry cleaning delivered, because the smell of the solvent -- I bet you anything that it makes Jonathan gag, too.

Greenlee: You never told me that.

Ryan: From there to here. All the power and the money and the respect -- the things that we didn't have when we were kids.

Greenlee: You can have all that without Cambias.

Ryan: Yeah, you're right. You're right, I can. Because I've been up and down enough, I know how to bounce back, but that was Jonathan's first trip up. So, see, you understand why he was so freaked. I mean, the thought of him going back must have been like the belt strap being pulled out again.

Reggie: All right, so Jonathan knows I'm onto him. How does that make things worse?

Bianca: A warning could make Jonathan feel like he's being controlled, and then he'll have to take back control, and he'll do it with the only person he can -- Maggie.

Reggie: He's a punk. He didn't even try to hit me back.

Bianca: What did he do?

Reggie: Well, he actually gave me my props, said he'd do the same thing if he thought a clown had hit a woman, and then he launched on a story about how he was just protecting Maggie and the only reason she got that bruise is because she was drunk. And she was drunk because of you.

Bianca: Because of me? Why would he say that?

Reggie: Maybe because of me, a little bit. I mean, I'm not saying it's true or anything --

Bianca: Reggie, what did you do?

Reggie: I might have told Maggie a while back that the two of you --

Bianca: What?

Reggie: I said it was obvious the two of you had something going on, something bigger and more real than Jonathan. Was I wrong?

Greenlee: You'll find something wonderful, something all on your own, something no one could ever take away from you.

Ryan: You inspire me.

Greenlee: But Jonathan -- maybe he's found another way to get what he wants.

Ryan: What do you mean?

Greenlee: Things haven't been so great between me and your baby brother. I mean, on the stress meter, we keep bouncing up there. This is so hard.

Ryan: Hey. Greenlee? You can tell me anything. You've got a problem, then I've got a problem. You and Jonathan are the two most important people in my life.

Greenlee: I know. That makes this doubly tough. Ryan, I'm afraid Jonathan might be the one --

[Knock on door]

Ryan: Whoever it is, I'll get rid of them, ok?

Jonathan and Maggie: Happy Birthday!

J.R.: Two weeks. That's how long I thought my son was dead -- two weeks and a lifetime of grief for a baby that never died. You throw the nine months of hell you caused Bianca in there, and it's finally coming around to bite you in a major way. The good news is, though, everybody's going to soon find out what a sick bitch Babe really is.

Krystal: It wouldn't have come to this, J.R., if you hadn't been such a bloodsucking --

David: Oh, forget it, Krystal. There's no point.

Krystal: What, I'm supposed to feel bad that he's in pain after what he did to Babe?

J.R.: That'll never work. Could you please explain to her how the world works?

David: Why don't we cut this nonsense, all right? Why the hell did you fake the e-mail and then drag us all the way down here? What, so you can just jerk us around?

J.R.: A little reminder -- I'm not doing this purely because I hate you and yours. I want my son!

Krystal: J.R., don't be a jerk. You saw the picture. We don't have him.

David: That's right. So good luck. Come on.

J.R.: You have the next best thing to my flesh and blood -- DNA proof that it is my son.

Babe: You think that I don't know what's at stake here?

Jamie: Let's just look at the big picture here, Babe. It's not just you and me on the run till we drop. This is about family and love and the kind of life some people never even get a shot at. I will love you for the rest of our lives.

Babe: Why are you making this so hard? I care about you, too, but --

Jamie: But not in that way? Babe, just --

Babe: Please. This is about an innocent baby boy. That's it.

Jamie: And I couldn't love baby James more if he were my own. He is my own. You, me, and James -- somewhere between here and Pine Valley, we became a family. Now, I love him and I love what we are.

Babe: Why do you keep saying that word?

Jamie: Because it feels so right. It's been rolling around in my head since the first night that we met. Now, I didn't know what it was back then, but now I do. And I thought you should know. Babe, please. You love me, too.

Greenlee: Totally mortified.

Ryan: Oh, please, I even forgot it was my birthday. We've had, like, 100 things going on. I get the big piece.

Greenlee: No, it's completely unforgivable. It puts me up there with the world's worst wife 2005.

Maggie: Oh, no, you're not the worst wife. Jonathan is just the world's best brother.

Jonathan: I should've let you know when you were at the apartment.

Greenlee: Oh, you shouldn't have to.

Ryan: All right. I've milked all the guilt I can get out of this. Please, let's party. Beer, Hocket?

Jonathan: No. No, man, I'm good, thanks.

Maggie: Yeah, I'm good, too.

Ryan: Wife?

Greenlee: Not thirsty, thanks.

Ryan: All right.

Jonathan: And -- oh, here. This, my brother, is for you.

Ryan: Oh, you shouldn't have.

Jonathan: Well --

Ryan: I mean, I'm glad you did, but you shouldn't have.

Jonathan: Well, I have a new philosophy on gift-buying. I only buy you gifts that I want. That way if you hate it, I get it.

Ryan: Dude! An RC airplane!

Maggie: What's an RC--

Jonathan: What?

Maggie: Don't know.

Ryan: Radio-controlled!

Maggie: Oh, ok. Didn't know.

Jonathan: I figured you had to replace the Cambias jet with something, right?

Ryan: This is a lot more fuel-efficient. Come on, let's go test it out.

Jonathan: Yeah? Do you mind if I go with him?

Maggie: Oh, yeah. Please, go be macho.

Greenlee: Here, one last bite, come on.

Ryan: No, I'm good. Macho. That's right! Whoo!

Jonathan: I got the control. Let's go, macho man.

Maggie: He's just the sweetest, isn't he? You know, he pulled this whole thing off without me.

Greenlee: Even the cake?

Maggie: Yeah, he picked it up and everything.

Greenlee: Amazing.

Reggie: All right, whatever you and Maggie had going on, or not, is none of my business. Only one thing matters -- that's friends and whether or not Jonathan's pounding on Maggie’s face.

Bianca: Yeah, we're going to figure this out. We're going to help Maggie through this.

Reggie: We have to. I mean, if we can't come through for each other -- you, me, Maggie, Dani -- we might as well just hang it up.

Bianca: Uh-uh. Nobody is hanging anything up.

Reggie: Jamie did. I mean, the boy, he just jets, you know? No call, no nothing. And I couldn't figure it out. But now I know. It was his skank girlfriend. I mean, she had Miranda the whole time. How could he not say anything to you?

Bianca: Sometimes things spin out of control and before you know it, you're sucked into it.

Reggie: He's still a punk.

Bianca: You know, Reggie, you don't know everything that's happened. But a lot of stuff is just about to hit the fan, and when all is said and done, Babe and Jamie are probably going to be arrested for kidnapping Babe's own child.

J.R.: Which lab did you go to?

David: You might want to start using what's passing for your brain these days, J.R.

J.R.: I know that you have DNA proof.

David: We did a test on Miranda. That's all the proof we needed.

J.R.: What a crock. All right, tell me what I need to know and I'll do you a favor.

Krystal: Oh, I can't listen to this. I think I've had my fill of Chandler blackmail, Adam style. He got squat, and you're going to get less than that.

J.R.: What if I told you that I'm willing to dig deep into my big old heart and give you your reward?

David: Well, how do you like that, Krystal? It seems J.R. is not so close to catching Babe and Jamie, after all. The only reason for this little desperation party is you need us. What's the matter, J.R.? Are we your last resort?

Krystal: Well, then you still have squat.

David: That's right. And get this -- you're about to lose that baby all over again.

Liza: You know, it's good to see you again. You look terrible.

Tad: I just got here. Easy on the flattery.

Liza: Adam outdid himself this time. The kids got me up to speed. Making it look like Jamie hired a hit man and blackmailing you to rat me out?

Tad: No, no, technically, I would be ratting myself out because I had to cover myself, right?

Liza: Yeah. How do I ever pay you back for having the courage of ten men?

Tad: Courage?

Liza: Yeah.

Tad: No, you got the wrong guy. I'm so terrified for Jamie, I can't even see straight. You don't owe me a thing. You really saved their bacon back in that café. And on top of that, you gave them a safe haven. And on top of that, you're not giving me a hard time for making you and Colby pull up stakes and move all over again.

Liza: There's something else, though. I can see it.

Tad: Oh, Liza. Lately I've done some things I am never going to forgive myself for.

Liza: Yeah, well, we've been singing that song for a long time, haven't we?

Tad: No. This is different. An all-time low, whole new chapter. But I am a father, and if I can give Jamie a shot at life out of prison, I'm just going to have to do whatever it takes.

Jamie: You do love me. Now, why can't you say it?

Babe: Just snap out of it, ok? All I do is I take and I take. Just this one time, I want to be the person who gives.

Jamie: Oh, oh, sacrifice? Yeah, that's highly overrated.

Babe: Look, you deserve to live out in the open, not on the run and in hiding. I am giving you this gift, please.

Jamie: You want to give and take? I'm all over that.

Babe: What are you doing?

Jamie: Well, you want me to leave you, go home? Fine, I'll respect it, but I need to change clothes and clean up a little first, and then I’ll be out of your way.

Babe: Thank you. That's all that I was saying. Just move on with your life.

Jamie: Meet the woman of my dreams, fall deeply, insanely in love. Make crazy love in New Orleans.

Babe: Perfect. Give her my regards. You're a free man.

Jamie: Babe, if you want me to go --

Babe: Go.

[Shirtless, Jamie kisses Babe's neck, making her swoon]

Babe: Damn it, you! I love you, Jamie Martin. I love you like I've never loved any man in my whole entire life. My name is Babe Carey. And this isn't like the night that we met on the beach. As amazing as that was, we were strangers. It was all about just being attracted to each other. But now we know each other.

Jamie: Everything there is to know. And it's so much better, because this time --

Babe: We're in love. You know that I'm yours, right? Forever and always.

Reggie: You of all people are not going along with this.

Bianca: No, I'm not excusing it, but I do sort of get it.

Reggie: I guess there's one more miracle. Babe actually made me feel sorry for J.R.

Bianca: Oh, this hasn't played out yet. Believe me, everyone is going to be all over this -- the cops, the FBI, the Buchanans -- and you know the Chandlers aren't sleeping at night. Somebody's going to catch up with Babe and Jamie before long.

Reggie: Good, because Jamie and Babe, they crossed the line, and Babe deserves whatever she gets.

Bianca: Yeah, I know. You're right, of course. God, this all went horribly wrong that one night beside the river. Is it ever going to end?

Krystal: Yeah, I think you hit the nail on the head there, David. J.R. isn't getting near that baby. All he's got is information. And you can't sing a lullaby to that, now, can you?

J.R.: You know better than that, don't you, Hayward? I wouldn't make demands without leverage to back them up.

David: All the leverage in the world isn't going to make nonexistent DNA results suddenly appear.

J.R.: In addition to the results, which I know that exist, I want answers. Kelly Buchanan -- how did she pass the baby off as hers? When did Kevin clue in? Was it day one, or was he in the dark like me all the time? And I want to know how the Buchanans treated my son.

Krystal: Why don't I just bake you a pie while I'm at it? Come on, let's go.

J.R.: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Not so fast. Can't leave without your party favors.

[RC airplane buzzes]

Ryan: How you feeling about this whole Cambias thing? You all right?

Jonathan: I've decided to see this as an opportunity.

Ryan: Well, that's very grown-up of you. Who are you and what have you done with my brother?

Jonathan: Ha, ha, ha, ha. Listen, I know that I've been a little freaky lately, ok, but I just -- I don't know, man. You know, when life's going good, any change can make you nuts.

Ryan: Tell me about it. Ah!

Jonathan: No, no. Get up! Light post, light post!

Ryan: What, are you drunk, dude? Let's not kill this thing yet, all right?

Jonathan: Ok. I just -- I want you to know that I'm cool, all right? We're cool. You're cool. That the Cambias thing is in the past, the future's golden, that the brothers Lavery are still going to rule the world.

Ryan: And that's never going to change. What you got now?

Jonathan: Get off me, chump. I'll kill you. There it goes!

Greenlee: Is everything ok, Maggie?

Maggie: Yeah, I'm awesome.

Greenlee: That's great. Ryan and I were talking about how rough it is to lose Cambias, for him and Jonathan both. You know, after everything they went through as kids, this just pulled the rug right out from under them.

Maggie: Yeah. Well, how is Ryan handling it?

Greenlee: He's toughing it out. It helps to talk to someone, you know, a specialist.

Maggie: You mean like a therapist?

Greenlee: Yeah. And medications are so advanced these days, you know, just to deal with it and move on. What do you think?

Maggie: Well, if that's what works for Ryan --

Greenlee: And what about Jonathan?

Maggie: Uh, what about him?

Greenlee: Well, do I remember hearing that he was taking meds?

Maggie: Look, if you want to accuse Jonathan of something, then just come out and say it. If not, just keep your mouth shut. Keeping a relationship alive.

Tad: Your kid's a disaster.

Liza: Yeah, well --

Tad: Speaking of which -- you know what never fails to amaze me is the sheer level of destruction that Adam and J.R. leave in their wake. I'm not kidding. I don't know why they bother to get married, because obviously they get their sexual jollies from, you know, wreaking havoc.

Liza: Does it make you -- it just must make you so sad to see J.R. where he's ended up.

Tad: Man, you have no idea. I remember the night at the hospital the night of the crash, and we stayed up. Bianca and Babe were out there somewhere having their babies. There was so much to hope and pray for. And now it's like I don't even recognize him anymore. It's like he's all of the worst things that Adam has to offer and none of Dixie to balance it out.

Liza: Well, I never knew how peaceful it would be to be away from the Chandlers. It is a blessing to be free from that.

Tad: Hmm. Well, let's just hope that that blessing spreads to Jamie and Babe.

Babe: Wait -- the baby.

Jamie: He's asleep.

Babe: I'm sorry, I really do want you right now. It's just that things --

Jamie: Ok, ok, I know. I know. We're about to jump off into who knows what. Right here, right now, we're alone. Now, when are we ever going to have that chance again? I don't know, so please don't ask me to think about that when all I want to think about is you.

Singer: Yesterday seems far away we get one more chance today and you and I will find our way take me down, down, down to desire where the body trembles when the wild wind blows, hold me, hold me don't let go

J.R.: Tonight's party favor is a peek inside my mind.

Krystal: That's a scary place to be.

David: The black hole of Calcutta.

J.R.: I came here with a dream, a vision of many, many ways I could make Babe suffer.

David: Well, that's kind of hard to do when you're not calling the shots.

J.R.: Oh, come on. Where's your compassion for a man whose baby's been taken from him?

Krystal: Not a drop.

J.R.: Come on, David, help me out here. Is there anything worse than knowing that your baby's dead, knowing that you'll never see that baby's face ever again?

David: You don't want to go there, J.R.

J.R.: Don't worry, Krystal, you can join our little grief club. Consider it a gift from me to you. But you're going to have to pretend that your precious daughter's dead -- not just for two weeks or nine months, but permanently. See, I've come up with so many ways for Babe to bite the big one. The old bullet through the brain? I like that one, although it's pretty quick and painless.

David: Oh, I'll be happy to show you pain, J.R.

J.R.: You can't beat me. I've been working on this -- slow, unusual, bloody -- the many, many deaths of Babe.

Krystal: You are going to hell, J.R.!

J.R.: You see, the thing about my fantasies? They're all permanent. Babe's no miracle baby, not like my son. So when she bites it, it's going to be forever.

Krystal: Babe is going to live longer than all of us.

J.R.: I wouldn't count on that one.

Greenlee: Today should be a national holiday. Everyone should celebrate the day you were born.

Ryan: Yeah.

Greenlee: Now I just have to get over the humiliation of not remembering.

Ryan: Hey, I'm over it, all right? Let's get back to where we were before the party.

Greenlee: Sure, if you want.

Ryan: But first -- first, I think I have the answer to the whole Jonathan thing.

Greenlee: You do?

Ryan: Yeah, I do. I just need something of my own to do, you know, like you have Fusion. And I've got nothing but time on my hands, so I'm thinking perfect -- Lavery brothers will conquer the world and your brother-in-law will be out of your face. What do you think?

Greenlee: Is that what you want?

Ryan: I don't even know what it'll be yet, you know, but I just know that Jonathan and I, we could be really good together. And I think -- I think I need to do this as much for me as I do for him.

Greenlee: You have one more birthday present to open, birthday boy.

Ryan: Hmm. Come here.

Maggie: So, hey, did you -- you see the look on Ryan's face? He was really surprised. Ok, what's wrong?

Jonathan: Did I say something was wrong?

Maggie: Well, I thought that you had a good time tonight. What happened?

Jonathan: What was up with you and Greenlee?

Maggie: Nothing.

Jonathan: The two of you with your heads together? You didn't think I’d notice?

Maggie: No, I -- I was just showing her my bracelet and telling her what a wonderful boyfriend you are.

Jonathan: You're so obvious, Maggie!

Maggie: You're wrong.

Jonathan: What? See? You're doing it again.

Maggie: What am I doing?

Jonathan: You're pushing all my buttons! It's like you're trying to make me crazy, begging for another bruise so you can run off and go get more sympathy from Bianca!

Maggie: No, I don't want -- Jonathan, come on!

Jonathan: I'm not going to give you the satisfaction.

Reggie: A little reality check, and suddenly the world doesn't suck as much.

Bianca: Yeah, I know.

Reggie: Everyone isn't evil.

Bianca: Heaven on earth. That's my little girl.

Reggie: Yeah, you got Miranda back and the bad guys will pay. You can't ask for much more than that.

Bianca: And we'll keep Maggie safe, too, Reggie. We have to.

Tad: Those names going to work for you?

Liza: Yeah. Boy, your guy is good. Where in the world did you find --

Tad: No, no, you don't, baby. Trade secret.

Liza: Well, I guess it's time to start packing.

Tad: Do me a favor, just -- let's just hang out for a few more minutes, ok, watch Colby bend it like Beckham. After all, who knows when we're going to be in New Orleans together again. What do they say around here? "Laissez -- laissez les bon temps rouler"?

Liza: Yeah, "Let the good times roll."

Tad: Ah.

Liza: Grab what happiness you can while you can, because you never know when the good times will roll around again.

Tad: Huh.

Jamie: I'll go get our son.

[James fusses]

Babe: Hi, my sweet little boy! Did you have a good nap? Did you? Come-- oh. Look what Mama got. What did Mama get for you?

Jamie: Cheerios.

Babe: For my handsome boy. Oh, get it. Ooh, yummy.

Jamie: Hey. Marry me, Babe. I want to be your husband. I want to be the father that James deserves, for real.

Babe: Yes. Yes, yes.

J.R.: You know, it's amazing. All of this for a baby that's still alive. What'll it be for your baby, Krystal? The Feds, the cops? They're the least of Babe's troubles. You don't even want to let yourself think what'll happen if I get to her first. Party favors all around. Gee, I wonder what Babe's shrine will look like.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Erica: How much will it cost me to get you to stay away from both my daughters and out of this town for good?

Ryan: Would I let you go into the Cambias craziness all by yourself? Behind this door is your right-hand man.

Zach: This is the end of the line for you.

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