All My Children Transcript Tuesday 1/4/05

By Boo
Proofread by Gisele

Aidan: What, you want to go tame on me now? I mean, if you want, we can always go and find some pots and bang them together.

Anita: No, wild is good. Whoo!

Kendall: All right, ok, enough. Now get off of me, please.

Greenlee: No, no, ice reduces the swelling. Do you have any vitamin E? It's supposed to reduce bruising. How about some tea -- herbal? You seem a little uptight.

Kendall: The towel -- it's all wet.

Greenlee: No, just a few more minutes, ok? I just want to make sure you're all right.

Kendall: Well, I was before you kicked me.

Greenlee: Didn't we just have a moment about that? "Thank you," "sorry" -- it doesn't work for us. Now we know where we stand. You absolutely didn't drug me.

Kendall: Goody. Great. Ok, you trust me. I have the bruise to prove it.

Greenlee: And I remember -- you saved my life the night that I launched myself off that trapeze. If it hadn't been for you --

Kendall: Well, I feel your gratitude.

Greenlee: You've told me to take a flying leap how many times? You could've let me do it. Why save me?

Kendall: Easy. Enchantment sales are through the roof, and if you had taken a leap off of ours, the profits would've crashed and burned with you.

Ethan: You still think I'm Zach's son?

Ryan: A little tingly feeling in the back of my neck.

Ethan: Well, then you haven't been paying attention, Ryan, because there's solid evidence --

Ryan: Zach's evidence.

Ethan: That I'm not. So let's just leave it at that, shall we?

Ryan: You see, I can't do that because I keep coming back to the same place.

Ethan: Drop it, Ryan.

Ryan: Just pretend for one minute that you are his son.

Ethan: Do me a favor, ok? Leave me out of your fantasies. Kendall, too.

Ryan: If it's real, he lied to you, he lied to all of us.

Ethan: Honestly, I really don't care whether Slater lied to me, you, and everybody. I don't care!

Ryan: Just think about it. He's doing everything in his power to wave you away from Kendall. Now, why would he do that?

Ethan: Not everybody understands Kendall's charms, Ryan.

Ryan: Zach knows that if you hook up with Kendall, you stay. And if you stay, you find out the truth, and that is the last thing that he wants.

Zach: I love you, and I want you to be with me. What?

Ethan: Zach Slater is not my father.

Ryan: You sure about that?

Ethan: Settled a long time ago, Ryan. You're flogging a dead horse.

Ryan: So you're afraid? Or are you just stupid?

Ethan: No, I'm smart. I'm smart enough to know when to move on. I suggest you do the same.

Ryan: Slater's a liar. You and I both know that.

Ethan: There's DNA evidence, Ryan.

Ryan: Oh, come on, don't do that. Don't add "naive" to your list. I mean, he could've bought that evidence.

Ethan: I'm satisfied. I'm satisfied.

Ryan: I don't understand, because when you first came to town you were gunning for any evidence of your paternity. Now you have the chance to find out the truth from an unimpeachable source, and you put on the brakes.

Ethan: It's a great pitch, Ryan, but I believe Slater.

Ryan: Huh. Ok, me, personally, I would believe Miranda. She won't lie to you.

Ethan: There's more than DNA evidence, though. Zach told everybody in this town who would listen to him that I wasn't his son. Why would he do that if it wasn't true?

Ryan: I don't know. Why does Zach do any of the things that he does? Why would he hide his identity? Why would he set up the murder game and put a gun in Kendall's hand? Why would he shoot at me, and even you believe that he did that. And now you believe that he's framing Kendall for poisoning Greenlee. Why would he do any of that?

Ethan: I don't know, Ryan, ok? I don't know.

Ryan: Well, there's only one way to find the answers. Take a DNA test. Find out who you really are.

Danielle: This is amazing -- these flowers, the candles, this fruit basket.

Reggie: The nice, big, cozy bed.

Danielle: No one's ever gotten me a fruit basket before.

Reggie: What, you think it's too much?

Danielle: You're too much. It's -- it's wonderful.

Reggie: What can I say? I've been inspired by beauty.

Danielle: Oh, yeah? How?

Reggie: Well, first of all, you're beyond beautiful. And you're smart. You make me laugh. And you're fun, and too sexy.

Danielle: You trying to run game on me?

Reggie: You're damn right. I mean, you're a total dime. And you're too hot to handle.

Danielle: No, too starving.

Jack: Ladies, a little sparkling cider. May 2005 bring even more miracles and joy to our family and loved ones.

Lily: And to my boyfriend.

Jack: Ahem.

Erica: Aidan Devane?

Lily: We have a lot in common. We both like mysteries, and I'm not ready for touching, and neither is he.

Jack: Yes, well, I -- I think it's terrific.

Erica: Aidan's a great guy.

Lily: He gave me his coat. I can hold it, or I can wear it to feel close to him. He says I have beautiful eyes.

Erica: Well, you do. And I'm very glad you found someone to spend time with.

Lily: Like you found my dad? Was he your first boyfriend, too?

Erica: No, no, he wasn't my first.

Lily: Was he your second? Is that funny?

Erica: Is it?

Jack: Well, you see, Erica's been dating a lot longer than you, so naturally she would have had more boyfriends.

Lily: Like, how many more?

Erica: Oh, I -- I don't remember.

Lily: More than five?

Erica: Yes, definitely more than five.

Lily: More than seven?

Jack: Well, actually, sweetheart, the number, great though it may be, doesn't really matter. What matters is that Erica and I will be each other's last boyfriend and girlfriend.

Erica: Your father is so right. I definitely saved the best for last.

Anita: You want me to do what?

Aidan: Oh, come on. It's tradition. You know, as soon you hit the water, you'll be the newest member of the Polar Bear Club.

Anita: Yeah, but polar bears wear fur, not silk.

Aidan: It's the best way to get rid of last year's crud and start the new year fresh again.

Anita: Well, I guess I do feel a little loaded down.

Aidan: That's the spirit. You ready?

Anita: Can't wait. Oh, my God, I think my brain is freezing.

Aidan: You know, the best thing about getting cold is getting warm again. But if you want, we can get dressed and join the suits in the conga line.

Anita: And be stuck with last year's crud? No way. Happy New Year!

[Splash]

Aidan: I'm coming! Oh!

[Splash]

Greenlee: You have a theory?

Kendall: Big bang? Conspiracy? What?

Greenlee: About who drugged me.

Kendall: Well, I know who didn't -- Ethan.

Greenlee: Just because he's got that British charm thing going on -- the accent, the killer smile --

Kendall: "Killer" being the operative word?

Greenlee: I get you don't want him to be guilty.

Kendall: He's not.

Greenlee: Maybe you should start thinking with your brain and not with your --

Kendall: No, he did not -- he did not drug you, and he did not shoot Ryan.

Ethan: Ryan, I'm not taking a DNA test.

Ryan: You have to.

Ethan: No, I don't. Miranda is the Cambias heir now. You transferred the estate over to her. What's happened is the best possible resolution of this situation. Bianca has her baby back.

Ryan: That's very touching. It really is. But if you really cared about that baby -- about Miranda -- you would take the test.

Kendall: Wait a minute. What does Ethan taking a DNA test have to do with my niece?

Ryan: Miranda could be in danger.

Kendall: Why would anybody want to hurt Miranda?

Ryan: Control.

Greenlee: Money. Power. Take your pick.

Ethan: It's nonsense, Kendall.

Ryan: Since I've taken over Cambias, I've taken a bullet in the gut, I've been shot at a second time, my wife's been poisoned. Do I really have to spell this out for you? When I sign it over to Miranda, she will be the next target.

Kendall: No. No, not Miranda.

Ethan: It's a scare tactic, Kendall. Don't listen to him, ok?

Ryan: You want to take that chance?

Ethan: Listen, don't let him get to you.

Kendall: Yeah, well, what if it's true?

Ethan: If it's true, I promise you, I will use everything at my disposal to protect Miranda and her mother.

Ryan: Like the shotgun in your storage locker?

Ethan: Ryan, I don't like you much, but I didn't shoot you. And you know I would never harm Bianca or her daughter.

Greenlee: We should believe you because --

Ethan: When I first came to this town, Bianca was the only person save Kendall who gave me a chance, who befriended me. And she still wants to help me. Just this evening, she offered me another sample of Miranda's DNA.

Ryan: Well, then what are you waiting for?

Ethan: Ryan, I told you. I'm not interested, ok? I turned her down.

Ryan: And I go back to my original question. Why the hell would you do that?

Maria: I'm sorry, I just -- I can't. Because I -- I didn't know how -- that I was going to feel like this, and, you know -- and I don't -- I want you. I do. But I don't know where I belong right now, at all.

Zach: You belong with me --

Maria: Zach --

Zach: When you're ready.

Maria: I don't know when that's going to be, Zach.

Zach: I'll wait.

Maria: I can't ask you to do that.

Zach: Why not? Not going to give up on you. I'll give you anything you need -- time, space. You name it. But I will not stop fighting for you.

Zach: Happy New Year.

Maria: Happy New Year.

[Anita laughs]

Aidan: Whoa!

Anita: I have never been so cold in my entire life!

Aidan: I'll turn this up.

Anita: Aidan, come get under here. You're going to freeze to death.

Aidan: You know, if I get under there, it's not going to be to warm up.

Anita: So do you do this every year?

Aidan: Absolutely. I wouldn't miss it for the world. What do you reckon? Want to make it part of your permanent resolution?

Anita: On one condition. You promise that the water will be colder.

Aidan: Well, I'll see what I can do.

Anita: Good, because I have got all kinds of resolutions.

Aidan: Oh, really? Like what?

Anita: Like I -- I want to jump out of an airplane.

Aidan: No, I love that. I'll come with you and I'll pack your chute for you if you like. What else?

Anita: White-water rafting.

Aidan: Really? You know, there's a river -- Yock. It's quite close to here. We could go together sometime.

Anita: Have you done everything I want to do?

Aidan: Oh, I don't think so. There must be something that I've missed.

Anita: Belly dancing?

Aidan: I've only watched, but I'll be more than happy to watch you. Something tells me that you're a natural.

Jack: I'll take that and this.

Erica: Thank you.

Lily: You're getting married?

Erica: Very soon.

Lily: Do I have to marry Aidan?

Jack: Absolutely not.

Erica: No. No, I mean, you're way too young to even think about marriage.

Jack: Yes, and you will be for a long, long, long, long time.

Lily: Erica, you gave me really good advice about looking stylish and friendly and not ready for sex. Will you give me some more when I need it?

Erica: You know I will.

Jack: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's wrong with dear old dad here? I mean, I have come up with a few words of wisdom from time to time, no?

Lily: You can't help me. You only know about how to be a boyfriend. I need to know how to be a girlfriend, and Erica's had lots of experience -- over seven times.

Jack: Yes, well, you got me there.

Erica: Lily, don't you worry. Whatever advice you need, I will tell you everything you need to know.

Danielle: Why would anybody want to eat a hairy fruit?

Reggie: What? All right, do you want to tell me what's wrong?

Danielle: Nothing. It's perfect! I'm going to eat everything in this basket, including the hairy one.

Reggie: No, I'm talking about this weird vibe you're giving me.

Danielle: Not a problem.

[Radio turns on]

Reggie: Yeah, I like that one.

Danielle: Oh, too retro.

[Music changes]

Reggie: All right, Dani, give it up.

[Radio turns off]

Reggie: What is wrong?

Danielle: What's the matter?

Reggie: That's my question. I tell you I love you. I'm pouring out my heart, and you're eating fruit. I mean --

Danielle: I'm hungry, I told you. That's all.

Reggie: Did I freak you out? I came on too strong, didn't I?

Danielle: Just chill.

Reggie: That's what I want to know. If you want me to cool things down, then I can deal with it. Just tell me what's on your mind.

Danielle: The truth? I'm all about you. I mean, you're the coolest guy I've ever met. Wherever you are, that's where I want to be.

Reggie: Then, baby, what's the problem? I mean, is it your dad?

Danielle: I can handle my dad.

Reggie: Whatever it is, I can take it. I mean, we can work through it together. Just -- how bad could it be?

Danielle: I'm a virgin.

Ethan: I'm over the fantasy of being a Cambias. I don't know how many times I have to tell you.

Ryan: Until you believe it.

Ethan: Ryan, there is no reason for a second DNA test.

Ryan: I can think of a few.

Ethan: Well, unfortunately, it's not up to you. It's my decision, ok?

Ryan: You know what? You nixed the test first time around. I didn't say anything because I didn't know what your game was. But if you refuse now, I mean, it screams you were a fraud from the get-go.

Ethan: Don't you dare. I believed the letter from my mother and her birth certificate.

Kendall: That's not fair, Ryan, ok? Ethan really believed he was a Cambias. He had the proof.

Greenlee: Or forgeries.

Ryan: Now that Miranda's here and Bianca says it's ok, "I don't want to" just doesn't cut it anymore, not with all your chest pounding and your self-righteous crap you've been throwing around.

Kendall: Lay off of him, all right? Ethan has his reasons!

Ethan: Kendall, just leave it!!

Ryan: Well, mine trump his. Take the test. If your DNA is a match, a new Cambias is crowned, and you get what you came for. And maybe the shooter will put the target on you instead of Miranda.

Greenlee: So, get rich, protect a kid. You got a better reason not to take the test? You know, I don't get that guy. What's the big deal? They swab a cheek, they prick a finger. That's it.

Kendall: No, that's not it. You guys don't seem to get it. You have all of your reasons why Ethan should take this test. You don't even have a clue as to why he can't.

Greenlee: Won't.

Kendall: It's not as simple as giving some blood.

Ryan: So share.

Kendall: Ethan came to town totally amped about claiming his dead dad, and then he finds a very much alive, sadistic creep. He's sure that Zach shot you, drugged you, maybe framed me. I mean, it's not exactly a welcome to the family.

Greenlee: If Zach's his father, a couple billion should ease the pain.

Kendall: Just get past the money. Imagine how he's going to feel to find out that his uncle could be a rapist and his father a lying skeeve.

Greenlee: No one gets to choose their family. He should just suck it up like the rest of us. Smile and pass the peas at Thanksgiving.

Kendall: Yeah, well, what if your family doesn't choose you? Zach swears up and down Ethan is not his son and can't wait to get him out of town. He even tried to pay him off. Why in God's name would Ethan want to take a DNA test to prove that his own father doesn't want him?

Ethan: Wait.

Zach: What? It's too late, and I'm too old and too tired to fight you. Leave me alone.

Ethan: No, I don't want to fight.

Zach: What do you want?

Ethan: This Cambias curse -- tell me about it.

Zach: Why? You're not a Cambias.

Ethan: No, but Miranda is.

Zach: It's still not your problem.

Ethan: Please. What is this thing that is so horrible, you've spent your entire life running from it? Will it -- will it touch Miranda? What is this curse? I mean, is it the money? Is it power?

Zach: Money and power, huh? Money and power -- it doesn't matter how much you have. It's never enough. And the one thing that you truly want -- the one thing -- is always just out of reach. That's what festers. And that's what rots your soul.

Ethan: But if you can control the money or the power -- the desire for it, at least -- then where's the curse?

Zach: You can't own love. You can't control it. That's the Cambias curse. Our need and our desire to control strangles love right where it lives.

Ethan: The Cambias clan can't find love. It's no revelation.

Zach: That's not what I said. There were a few lucky enough to find it. But no Cambias could ever hold onto it.

Edmund: Hey.

Maria: Hey. Where's Maddie? Is she asleep?

Edmund: No, no, no, she's upstairs talking to her friends online, listening to music -- if you can call this music.

Maria: I remember those days.

Edmund: Well, it's been a long night. Good night.

Maria: You want me to drive you down to the hunting lodge?

Edmund: No, that's all right. I can call my driver.

Maria: Hey, Edmund, would -- wait a sec. I just want to -- I want to talk to you about something.

Maria: Ahem. We're in this mess because of the secrets that I kept, and all for the wrong reasons. And -- and I thought I wasn't hurting anyone, which was bull and I know that. I know that now. So I figure better the truth now, right? I don't want to hurt you, though, but better the truth than more lies. Right? I was just with Zach.

Jack: Hey.

Erica: Oh, I could just watch Bianca and Miranda sleep all night.

Jack: Well, sure. How often do you have two miracles right in the next room?

Erica: Oh, Jack, I just have this feeling. Do you feel it? Peace. Complete and absolute peace. I mean, for the first time in such a long time, our children are safe. Oh, I wish it could last forever.

Jack: Hey, hey, hey, who says it can't? You up to eloping?

Erica: And miss the most amazing wedding on the planet?

Jack: Should I be afraid?

Erica: Very.

Anita: You were really great with Lily tonight.

Aidan: Yeah, right. After I got over the shock that she wanted to date me. Of course, it's not going to be easy.

Anita: Why is that?

Aidan: Well, my Trigonometry is a bit rusty.

Anita: Well, I'm sure she'll be gentle. No, but really, you were just so great with her. You could have blown her off, and you didn't. And she's so cute. Every time you spoke to her, she would blush.

Aidan: You know, I get a kick out of how honest she is. I mean, she's just got no shame about showing her feelings. You know, she just puts herself out there. It's really hard to find that in the real world.

Anita: Well, you just have to know where to look.

Aidan: Shooting star. Quick, make a wish.

Anita: I see it, I see it!

Aidan: Did you make a wish?

Anita: Of course.

Aidan: Well, tell me, then. What did you wish our?

Anita: Besides thermal underwear?

Aidan: Come on, you.

Anita: It was about you.

Danielle: You think I'm a total loser, don't you? You mad?

Reggie: No, I'm just surprised, that's all.

Danielle: You think I led you on? What? Virgins got to wear high collars and ugly shoes?

Reggie: Just forget it, ok?

Danielle: So you know, I have -- I have nothing against sex. I'm just not ready.

Reggie: You're not ready, or not me? Which one?

Danielle: It's you. It's all you. There's no one else. I mean, and I want to when it feels right. No one's ever done anything like this for me before. If you can wait just a little bit longer -- ok. Fine. You don't want to wait? You got to turn it out now? Grab yourself a hoochie mama and --

Reggie: No, Danielle, it's --

Danielle: What?

Reggie: No, wait. Can you just wait? You don't understand.

Danielle: Well, sure I do. You have the room for the whole night. Why don't you buzz up a hoochie mama and get your money's worth!

Reggie: No, Dani -- look, can you just shut up, please? Can you just please wait a second?

Danielle: Well? What? All right, fine. See you, or not.

Reggie: No, wait. All right, all right, Danielle, I -- I'm a virgin, too.

Kendall: Just try to see this from Ethan's point of view.

Greenlee: Behind a scope?

Kendall: Ryan, remember when you found out that Chris Stamp was your real father, not Patrick Lavery?

Ryan: One of the better days of my life.

Kendall: And you -- you thought that that heartless SOB was your real dad. He was more attached to your trust fund than you. Now, how happy were you when you found out that Jackson was your real father? I mean, the two of you -- the two of you traded up and you hit the daddy lotto. Ethan takes his shot and he gets garbage.

Greenlee: Well, knowing is still better than not knowing, right?

Kendall: Yeah, but Ethan goes for this, there's no going back.

Greenlee: He was excited he was a Cambias when he walked into the office demanding his inheritance.

Kendall: It's always about the money with you. All Ethan wants to do is to find out who he is and where he fits in. He finally feels like he can belong somewhere. He can look at someone's face and see his own -- know he's home. But now the man that Ethan thinks created him -- the one man -- the one man that he wants to be like turns out to be someone he despises.

Zach: The third degree is over. Good night.

Ethan: Well, I just find it hard to believe that a tough guy like you is afraid of a curse.

Zach: Only the arrogant think they can beat it. My father couldn't. My brother couldn't.

Ethan: What about you? Name changes, revised history. Any of it made a difference?

Zach: The luckiest day of your life is when I told you you weren't my son. So what are you doing? Why are you trying to hold on to some hope that you're part of this pathetic family?

Ethan: I'm beyond relieved. What do I want with curses, evil legacies? I'm going to pick up my garlic, pack up my stakes, and get right out of here.

Zach: You mean it?

Ethan: Yeah. Yeah, as soon as my trial's over, I'll either be heading back to London -- if I'm lucky -- or if not, I'll be going to Statesville, I guess.

Zach: What about Kendall?

Ethan: Wrong as you are about so many things, you may be right about her. Good night.

Edmund: Thank you for being honest.

Maria: But I didn't -- I didn't sleep with Zach.

Edmund: Maria, details aren't necessary.

Maria: No, they are, because I -- he wanted me to, and he was telling me that he wanted to have a life with me. And I was really tempted because -- I don't know -- I've just -- I have been so lost, Edmund. I've been so lost, and it just felt good to be wanted.

Edmund: Maria, it's not necessary.

Maria: You know, I didn't because I thought about you, and I thought about the way that we fell in love. And it was just so amazing and so intense and so like a dream. But better, because it was real. And it still is for me. So maybe we can't -- maybe we can't go back to that crazy-in-love place. And that's ok. I accept that. But maybe we can -- I just can't believe that this is gone because it was too big. It was too -- too important. Tell me that we have a chance. Don't we?

Edmund: We can never get back what we had.

Maria: I know. I know we can't. But maybe we can -- you know, if we work together and we work really hard, maybe we can create something new. Maybe we can make something stronger, something even better.

Edmund: I don't know. Happy New Year.

Aidan: So are you going to tell me what you wished for, or are you going to make me guess?

Anita: I wished that you would kiss me. That confirms it.

Aidan: What?

Anita: There's something else that I want in 2005 more than skydiving and white-water rafting.

Aidan: Well, some belly dancing?

Anita: You.

Jack: I'd like to hear a little more about this amazing wedding you've concocted.

Erica: Ever ridden a camel?

Jack: Oddly enough, no.

Erica: Well, I think the pyramids would be a beautiful backdrop for a ceremony.

Jack: Sure, but what if a sandstorm came up? It would ruin your hair and makeup.

Erica: Hmm, true.

Jack: Hmm.

Erica: What about machu picchu? Exotic, beautiful, one of the wonders of the world.

Jack: Redundant. It's just like you.

Erica: Thank you. I love you. I love you so much. And I have for so many years, and I can't believe that we're really going to make this happen. We're going to make it right.

Jack: Yeah.

Erica: Forever.

Jack: Yeah. Come here, you. You know, we may have lost each other a few times along the way -- well, maybe more than a few times. But you, my dear -- you were always my heart, and you always will be.

Danielle: I can't believe you're a virgin, too. I mean, you're just so cool about everything.

Reggie: "Cool" is just a state of mind. It's got nothing to do with getting some. I mean, in my old neighborhood, the guys -- they always bragging about it, you know? When they was going to smash, who they smashed, how often they got it. I mean, after a while, it just -- it just didn't mean anything. And that's not how I want it to be with you. I want it to be real, not something just to brag about.

Danielle: I didn't realize anyone else felt that way.

Reggie: I've seen too much. I was just scared of screwing up, having a kid by a girl I barely even knew.

Danielle: But you're ready now?

Reggie: Very ready. You know, except for the whole dad part, I mean.

Danielle: I've screwed everything up.

Reggie: No, Dani. Did you hear me? I said I love you. "I love you" means I'm willing to wait till you're ready.

Danielle: You mean it?

Reggie: I wouldn't say it if I didn't. We're going to be each other's first, ok?

Ryan: It's not over, Kendall. And it won't be until Ethan takes that test.

Kendall: Well, just let me talk to him.

Ryan: And that's supposed to make me feel better?

Greenlee: Well, if anyone can get through to him --

Ethan: Still here?

Kendall: They were just leaving.

Ryan: Is something wrong with the front door?

Ethan: Slater. I saw him outside. We had a little chat. I didn't want him to see me come back in through the front.

Ryan: And why is that? You find something out?

Ethan: Nothing to interest you. But he's definitely hiding something.

Kendall: What, you think that Zach is evil enough to hurt his own niece?

Ethan: First let's find out if he's evil enough to hurt his own son.

Kendall: You're going to take the test?

Ethan: If I am a Cambias, it's the best way that I can protect Miranda, and I can put a crimp in Slater's plans, whatever they are.

Ryan: Well, it's about time. How's tomorrow for you?

Kendall: Ok, all right, you're out of here.

Ryan: You're doing the right thing, man.

Greenlee: Thanks. For everything.

Kendall: I believe you. You don't have to kick me twice. Zach got to you, didn't he? Hmm. What did he say? What was that for?

Ethan: For being on my side. Win, lose, or draw, I know I'll -- I know I'll have you with me.

Kendall: Well, no matter what, you've got me.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Joe: There really isn't a person in all of Pine Valley who isn't in debt to Agnes.

Opal: You'd think she built the town single-handed.

J.R.: You shot a man, killed him to protect Jamie. You'd better start protecting him again.

Adam: I want to talk to you about J.R.'s son.

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