AMC Transcript Monday 10/11/04

All My Children Transcript Monday 10/11/04

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Edmund: It's not a tough question. You claimed that you overheard Zach saying he faked his own death and you nearly swoon. I'm just asking you why.

Maria: Oh, honey, I didn't nearly swoon.

Edmund: Is that your answer?

Maria: It's a pretty big deal, right? I mean, it's -- it's kind of drastic. I come down here, I find you, he's telling you that, and I am surprised.

Edmund: Surprised that he's telling me, or surprised that you know more than you're telling me? Are you protecting Zach?

Zach: Sorry about that, it couldn't wait. I see you made yourself at home.

David: Hey, why not? Drink up.

Zach: Now, I've heard about your cocktails.

David: It's perfectly safe.

Zach: Mm-hmm. I've only been in Pine Valley a little while, but I've already learned a few things -- like how you slap a guy on the back before you ship him out.

David: You have some imagination.

Zach: I can show it to you if you forgot. I'm not going to try your drink, and I will watch my back with you.

David: I'm not here to drug you.

Zach: No? You don't think it'd be better if I were passed out on the floor so you could go look for the disc? What do you want to do, bargain with me? What's your best offer?

David: I'm not interested in one missing surveillance disc. You could have 1,000 copies burned by now and stashed halfway around the globe.

Zach: That's a good point.

David: Well -- you hate my guts. You'd like to see me burned alive and my ashes mixed in wet cement for what you believe I did to Maria and to you. Now, why would the incriminating footage disappear from the disc that you gave to the police?

Zach: I just don't know who I hate more -- you or Adam.

[David chuckles]

David: Come on, Zach. We both know it's me. With us, because of Maria, it's personal. So go ahead, nail me.

Krystal: What are you doing here, Tad?

Tad: What do you mean, what am I doing here? Where else would I be? Hi. My name is Thaddeus. I'm one of Krystal's nearest and dearest, which is a good thing because, judging from the look on your face, I'd swear you need all the friends you can get. So, by all means, how can we help you? Just sit there, reassure the woman. Tell her that whatever she can spill in front of you, she can spill in front of me, because, otherwise, God knows how we're going to get to the truth.

Jamie: Hey, how you doing?

Paul: I'm just trying to chill out, all right? So if Babe sent you --

Jamie: Babe -- she didn't.

Paul: Yeah, well -- ahem -- I'm just trying to get drunk in peace here, ok?

Jamie: Oh, I'm cool, really. Let me buy you the next one and I'll prove it. Bartender? Came to talk to Babe's husband.

Babe: Not ever, he's ruining my life. J.R. has to be out of it, understood?

Man: You know, this -- this isn't really going to be enough. I mean, I'm running a big risk here, and you being so desperate and all --

Babe's voice: No.

Man: I think it's going to have to cost you a lot more than this.

Jamie: You listen here, lowlife. If you're scamming us or you don't hold up your end of the bargain, I will personally hunt you down and make you sorry you crawled out from whatever rock you lived under.

Babe: That's pathetic.

J.R.: Well, the production values are off and the lighting's not so good, but what a plot.

Babe: You tried to set me up.

J.R.: Oh, sweetheart, I succeeded.

Babe: With what, that? The guy said that he knew where Bess was, so I paid him your money to get my baby back.

J.R.: That's your story. His story is that he's a hired hit man being paid cold, hard cash to end my life. "Ladies and gentleman of the jury, you've seen the DVD. You've heard testimony from the man the defendant hired to kill her rich husband. How does the jury find the defendant? Guilty?" Guilty. Guilty. Oh, poor Jamie. Too bad he didn't know what your plan was before he got himself too deep.

Babe: You are not going to drag Jamie into this.

J.R.: He's right there. He's threatening the hit man to come through or else.

Babe: Would you just stop it with this lie?

J.R.: It's totally believable -- you conspired to end my life. The bad news is since your hit man didn't come through, I'm still alive.

Babe: So what's the good news?

J.R.: That you won't get the death penalty, just prison.

[J.R. sighs]

Babe: If anybody is going to spend time behind bars, it's going to be you!

J.R.: I owe that man my life. If it wasn't for his tortured, guilty conscience, he may have gone through with your sick plan, but instead he came to me and told me everything. And I got to tell you, Babe -- whew -- it broke my heart.

Babe: The cops are never going to believe this.

J.R.: Rod's very convincing. The disc is real clear, and what's not, he'll fill in the blanks. You preyed on his poverty and his hopelessness. And if he would've just done this one little favor for you and Jamie, you would've set him up. Set him up for life, just like you would've been set up after getting your hands on your dead husband's fortune.

Babe: I never said anything like that, and no DVD that you fake can ever make it seem like I did.

J.R.: Yeah, well, we got this from the Pine Valley Savings and Trust, and this, my dear, is a very generous transfer.

Babe: I never transferred any funds.

J.R.: Do you really think the jury's going to swallow that after they find out about your affair with Jamie while you were married to me, while you were married to Paul Cramer, all happening on the same day that you were in town? You set yourself up for this, Babe, and you will go down.

Babe: Yeah. We'll see.

J.R.: Well, you know, you and Jamie don't have a prayer if you don't work with me on this.

Babe: Dream on, J.R.!

J.R.: No, see, it's so simple, really, Babe. All you got to do is sign over custody of Bess to me, and then I'll back off. I'll destroy the disc, and my star witness -- he'll disappear with a large chunk of change.

Babe: I would rather die.

J.R.: Well, that would work for me, too, but I thought that'd be too much to ask. Don't test me on this, Babe!

Babe: There is no way I'm going to hand over my child to you to be warped into a Chandler like you and your daddy!

J.R.: That's a big mistake. Big. See, you were only going to lose custody of Bess. Now you're going to lose the baby and your freedom. And while I have Bess, you're going to be serving a long, long prison term. With my father and my connections, hell, you might even get life.

Singer: There's nowhere I can run now

Paul: Well, I never turn down a drink -- even from an enemy.

Jamie: Hey, man, I'm not your enemy. We just got off on the wrong foot.

Paul: Foot? No, I think it was your fist in my face.

Jamie: Yeah. Well, I was way off --

Paul: Hmm.

Jamie: Thanks to Babe. I mean, she's cute but what a mess.

Paul: You finally see the light, huh?

Jamie: Yeah, she had me -- I mean, saying she was going to leave J.R. and be with me. I --

Paul: You know, girls will say anything to tie you up. Oh, but you saw through it, right? You got out of there, huh?

Jamie: Kind of.

Paul: Oh, you let her run you out, right?

Jamie: Hey, at least I'm out of it, ok?

Paul: Here's to freedom.

Jamie: You know, she let me have it. I mean, just today she was talking about how she's never going to leave J.R., just told me to go --

Paul: You know what? Just because you bought me a drink doesn't make me your shrink. If you'd like to go and cry, there's the bartender. His name's Jim.

Jamie: Hey, can I get some more Glendora over here? Just the whole bottle. My way of saying thanks, making peace. And, you know, I should celebrate. In a way, Babe throwing me out saved me.

Paul: If I were you, I'd be down on my knees thanking the sanity gods.

Jamie: Thanks. My apologies.

Paul: Accepted. You know, I did warn you.

Jamie: Mm-hmm. Yeah, I wish I would've listened. She's such a user.

Paul: Yeah, she's a pro.

Jamie: I mean, she kept going on and on about how she got you to deliver the right paternity results that time. I mean, like she was so proud of playing you.

Paul: What a tramp.

Jamie: Yeah, I mean, she just wanted it to be J.R.'s because he had to be the father so bad.

Paul: That's because she's only in for the money. Just be thankful, you know, you're not the kid's daddy. I wish I'd never gotten involved in that baby mess.

Tad: Maybe you'd like a cocktail.

Kelly: I'm fine, thanks.

Krystal: Oh, God -- Kelly -- Kelly, sorry.

Kelly: No, I'm leaving.

Krystal: Look, he's a pest, but he's harmless, I promise you. Look, I'll get rid of him, we can continue talking about Ace and figure out how to handle this situation.

Kelly: There is no situation. Everything will be fine.

Krystal: But you are not --

Kelly: I'm his mother. I'll take care of it.

Tad: All right, let's hear it. Who the hell just walked out in a cloud of dust, and what did I just walk in on?

Krystal: I'll tell you who this is. This is one royally ticked-off chick! I'm ready to rip your head off and throw the rest into that coffee urn! Where do you get off creeping around and spying on me?

Tad: It's not going to work.

Krystal: Oh, yeah, I know I can't kill you here in front of all these witnesses.

Tad: No, the wronged-woman routine, ok? You do not get to be the accuser here. You do not get to be the angry party, that's my job.

Krystal: Oh, you?

Tad: So, by all means, spare me the dramatics.

Krystal: I have not done one thing to you!

Tad: The hell you didn't. You looked me square in the eye and you lied to me. And God knows you didn't do it alone because I'm sure you had plenty of help from your good friend David Hayward.

Zach: Twenty years in prison for kidnapping -- that doesn't faze you?

David: Frankly, I prefer Venice, but, hey, it's not my call, now, is it? Just give me a few more weeks before you drop the dime.

Zach: You dare me to use evidence I have against you, and then you give me a time frame?

David: I need to do something for someone I care about, something really important. You know what that's like, Zach -- like what you did for Maria.

Zach: Leave Maria out of this. And don't mention her name in front of me ever again, you got that?

Maria: I thought we were past all of this. Come on.

Edmund: Come on, this is a new piece of the puzzle -- I mean, new to me, anyway.

Maria: Yeah, to me, too.

Edmund: Ok, then, why can't we discuss it? I mean, I get the feeling you're just shutting me down, shutting me out.

Maria: Yeah, you know what? We can't discuss it because it's never just a discussion with you. You always toss in an accusation.

Edmund: I wasn't accusing --

Maria: "Am I protecting Zach?" "Am I --" no -- from what? You know what? I've told you everything about me and Zach, and I -- you still don't believe it, so I don't -- why can't you just get past this?

Edmund: Because I want the whole story, all right? Now, I know all about the past. I want to know what's happening now.

Maria: Yes, and I have told you.

Edmund: No, what you've done is you have sidestepped and you have denied. Do you think I've been distant? Maria, you -- you left weeks ago. Where did you go? I'm assuming it's -- it's Slater, and I don't mean that like -- like physically. I'm not saying that, I'm not accusing you of that. Just tell me. This is about Zach, isn't it?

Maria: Yeah, it is. I don't want to lie to you, Edmund. I don't, and I -- and I don't want to hurt you.

Edmund: I can take it.

Maria: You're the problem, not Zach.

Edmund: I'm in your way?

Maria: You're not in -- our -- you're not in mine and Zach's way, you're in our way, yours and mine. Zach and I are over, and you just -- you refuse to believe it, and that's why you keep on investigating him and you keep questioning me.

Edmund: Maria, he claims that -- that he faked his own death.

Maria: I don't care, Edmund! I don't care if the guy has a new identity every damn day of the week. I don't care, so why do you care so much?

Edmund: Ryan, the shooting, the -- something's not right about this guy.

Maria: I know -- ok, I get that you think that he has some big, deep, dark secret, guilty secret going on, but I don't believe that he's guilty of anything -- of any crime, ok? Now, that doesn't mean that I'm choosing him over you. As a matter of fact, it's just the opposite. I don't want him just popping in like he did today, but, you know, Bobby works for the man -- wish he didn't, but he does. I can't control that, can't control you, but all I can do is control me. Now, I've given Zach up. I want him out of our lives. Can you please do the same for us?

Krystal: Yeah, yeah, David and I are public enemies number one and two. Call the FBI.

Tad: You don't get off. You lied to me. You intentionally lied to me about that DNA test.

Krystal: You are so uninformed.

Tad: Yeah, and whose fault is that, Krystal? You know as well as I do that DNA test didn't have anything to do with who Babe is. It had everything to do with whose baby is growing up in that house. For the life of me, I just can't understand how you can possibly do it, how I could've been so wrong about you.

Krystal: Tad, look, I -- I didn't have a choice. I had to do it for Babe.

Maria: I want our marriage back, and that is the truth. Do you?

Edmund: Of course I do.

Maria: Then give up this obsession with Zach, Edmund.

Edmund: Honey, this man is a suspect in an attempted murder of a friend of ours, and he just dropped a bomb that he faked his own death. I don't have a choice.

Maria: I thought -- I thought we'd already lost enough time and you wanted to reclaim our life together.

Edmund: You know I do.

Maria: Yeah, we lost five years. Five years for us -- gone. And we vowed to make up for those years lost, Edmund, and we'll be breaking those vows unless you drop this. Leave Zach alone, please? Let's get back to us.

Edmund: Zach's not part of my past, ok? He's moved in, front and center, into my world right now. And as long as he's here, I'm going to find out why and what he's up to.

David: Look, I'm in a situation right now. I need to protect my daughter and her baby. No, I'm not expecting you to do any favors for me, but this is my daughter and she needs my help. You like Babe. You even took her side against J.R. So, just give me the few weeks that I need to help her out, and then you have the freedom to do whatever you want with me.

Krystal: Would you let me try to explain, please?

Tad: Why? Why should I? Let you string me along all over again? It's perfectly obvious why you were so desperate to get your hands on the results of the second test because you're the ones that monkeyed with the first test.

Krystal: How'd you figure that out?

Tad: Well, it didn't take a rocket scientist. Babe gets pregnant, the only other person she wants on the family tree is J.R., so you and Babe did everything you could to make sure the first test would identify him as Bess' father. Now that he's no longer Father of the Year and he wants to keep the baby all to himself, you're going to do everything you can to make sure he's out of the picture, and poor Jamie's strung along all over again.

Krystal: Can you blame us? I mean --

Tad: Are you kidding? If there weren't an innocent baby involved, I'd swear you got everything you had coming to you, now that J.R. passed that DNA panel all on his own.

Krystal: Why -- why are you looking at me like that?

Tad: Because your daughter screwed with my son all over again. She built him up and broke his heart a second time, and you intentionally made the situation worse by shutting me out of the loop.

Krystal: Oh -- what am I supposed to say?

Tad: Well, you could start with the rest of the story. Try to explain why you're so willing to, you know, to shove me aside and work with a guy like David Hayward. And why -- why, for whatever reason, you two would be so overjoyed that J.R. turns -- turns out to be the real father after all. But whatever you say, Krystal, I swear I hope it's the truth, because right now, honesty would be a huge pick-me-up.

Krystal: Oh, ok, yeah, you want -- you want honesty?

Tad: Yeah. You think you can dig that deep? What, no answer?

Krystal: I have answers, Tad. Why don't we start with the one you've been waiting to hear for a long time -- the answer to your proposal?

Jamie: Babe got me through sex. But you were finished with her, so how did she --

[Paul chuckles]

Paul: Well, I'm a little smarter than Babe.

Jamie: Well, she still managed to get you into that baby mess. You know, hey, that's what you said.

Paul: Did I?

Jamie: You know what? I'm just looking for something I can use against Babe.

Paul: Hmm. Ah. You mean, like, a little dirt for some sweet revenge, right?

Jamie: Yeah. You got any?

Paul: Well, it's going to cost you.

Jamie: How much?

J.R.: All is fair in custody battles and war.

Babe: You would actually send your brother back to jail and the mother of your child?

J.R.: You realize that's not my only copy?

Babe: Oh. But it did make me feel so much better.

J.R.: You know, if Jamie and you could put me away, you'd do it in a second.

Babe: The difference is, is you deserve it.

J.R.: Listen, I'm offering you another way out. You give me custody of Bess, I'll give you enough money so you can start a whole new life with Jamie. Be smart for a change, take advantage of my generosity. It is your best option.

Babe: But not my only one. You've given me a great idea, J.R. Why not kill you? But this time I'll take out the middleman, and I'll take you out myself.

J.R.: If you were serious about killing me, you wouldn't warn me.

Babe: Your enormous ego is going to be so easy to hit.

J.R.: Yeah, sure.

Babe: Well, what? You already said that I'm going to jail. Why not bump you off?

J.R.: Well, then you wouldn't get Bess.

Babe: And neither would you. So either way, my plan works out -- I save my child from you.

J.R.: Hmm. You think that I'm a threat to Bess? I worship Bess.

Babe: You will never raise our child.

J.R.: Ok, so say -- say you did kill me and you got locked up. My father would get custody.

Babe: Oh. But don't underestimate my mama. She would go to the mat for her grandchild.

J.R.: Yeah, she'd go to the mat for dinner and a movie. Like mother, like daughter.

Babe: But with the help of my father, she'd win.

J.R.: Your father? Well, your father could drug the judge and jury, that's about it. He wouldn't be able to help your trashy mama get custody.

Babe: So let's say I do go to jail for exterminating you. Mama and David could handle things. So, are we being recorded right now? Hey, judge. Hey, jury. Yeah. Yeah, I killed J.R., and guess what -- I'd do it again in a quick second in order to save my child. So go ahead. Lock me up, I'm guilty. You can have your daddy use that one in court, but the thing is if I ever do stand trial, it's not going to be for conspiracy or attempted anything. It is going to be because you are stone-cold dead.

Paul: Well, it's going to cost more than any college kid's got -- well, unless you're the Olsen twins, hmm?

Jamie: You know, I would pay anything to get back at Babe.

Paul: I bet you would, if you had it.

Jamie: How much?

Paul: 50,000.

Jamie: That's a lot of money.

Paul: Mm-hmm. Well, I got a lot of debt, hmm? No job, no way of paying for it.

Jamie: No, that's bad, but maybe we can help each other out.

Singers: God, help me rise above

Paul: You know what help gets you, hmm? It gets you abuse. They turn their back on you, and then they kick you in the gut.

Jamie: No, you've been through a lot of crud this year -- I mean, the copter crash. Instead of being happy that you managed to save one of the kids -- let alone Babe and Bianca -- we all dumped on you.

Paul: You know, Chandler was the worst.

Jamie: Well, which one?

Paul: Is there a difference? They were all ready to lynch me.

Jamie: Hey, man, they would've, too, if it hadn't been J.R.'s baby that survived. If the Chandlers heard that their baby was gone, your life would've been a living hell.

Paul: You don't think it is already?

Jamie: Yeah. So you did what you had to, to protect yourself, right?

Paul: Yeah, I had to think fast.

Zach: Get out of my office.

David: Not until I have an answer.

Zach: Leave, before I have you crated up and shipped out.

David: Just try, for one instant, to put yourself in my place. Pretend you have a kid. What would you do?

Krystal: Now, I know you wondered why I just didn't give you an answer that day.

Tad: I know why you didn't give me an answer -- because of J.R. and Babe.

Krystal: No, Babe -- Babe didn't even enter into it, Tad. You did. Now, you think I left you in the dark, but I had no choice! You've done nothing but distrust me and dislike me from the moment that we met.

Tad: That is so not true!

Krystal: Ok, maybe you didn't dislike me. But can you tell me -- can you give me one moment where you completely and totally trusted me, where you knew that I was giving you the whole truth and nothing but?

Tad: Yeah, there were a few moments that spring to mind.

Krystal: Yeah, a few -- darn few. And that's why when you proposed to me, I knew that it just -- it just had to wait until you came around about me, Tad. I want to spend the rest of my life being happy, not ducking jealousy and not being trapped by some jealous husband, and the bottom line is you're always going to judge me. Always. You're always going to believe the worst. So --

[Krystal sighs]

Krystal: So, no. I mean, I can't accept your proposal. My answer is no.

Tad: You're a regular magician, aren't you? The great Kreskin, Houdini -- they got nothing on you. I'd throw out a topic for conversation, you pull a rabbit out of a hat. Well, guess what -- the hand is not quicker than the eye, and your mouth is not quicker than my mind. We are not talking about my proposal or a marriage here.

Krystal: No, we're not. Not anymore, Tad. It's dealt with. No discussion necessary.

Tad: You are using this as a distraction.

Krystal: Tad, come on, now. You throw out accusations at me, you say awful things. You know, you challenge me to the truth like it's impossible for me. You think that's attractive? You think that's loving? You think it's supportive? Please. No, we're -- we're over. We're done.

Tad: No, you don't. You're not going to lay this off on me. You want to give some big performance, light yourself a smokescreen, you go right ahead, but don't for one single minute think we are done with that other thing.

Krystal: No, there is no other thing.

Tad: Oh, the hell there isn't. You -- you and Babe wrapped Jamie up in this thing all over again, and J.R., for all his faults, is still my son, and now on top of everything, I got to put up with you and Hayward running around whispering together, scheming behind my back?

Krystal: No, no, that's all in your head.

Tad: And then there's another thing -- you are so up-and-down about this guy, I'm getting seasick. First, you like him, then you hate him. Well, whatever the hell it is, just do me a favor -- don't fake it anymore.

Krystal: Ok, you stop -- you stop butting into my life, ok, and following me around because you have nothing to say about what I do, nothing!

Tad: She's waiting for you.

David: What happened with Kelly, and what was he doing here?

Krystal: I -- I ended it.

David: With Tad?

Krystal: It's over.

David: Well, you know it's for the best.

Krystal: No, don't -- don't. Please don't say that it's good, that it's the best thing, because it's not.

David: Ok. So, were you able to convince Kelly?

Krystal: No. No. She won't cooperate. She's hanging on to Ace with everything she's got.

David: And what about Paul? Did she give you anything that we can use?

Krystal: No, no. No, she is not admitting that Paul switched those babies. She didn't come close.

David: Damn it! Tad screwed this up, didn't he? She wouldn't talk in front of him.

Krystal: No, she dug in her heels before Tad even got here.

David: Come on, you would've gotten through to her if he gave you the chance.

Krystal: No, you know what? Even if Tad never showed up, she would never have cooperated with us. No, she is just -- she loves that baby. She keeps going on and on about how -- how he's her son. I mean, we're done!

David: No, no. We're only getting started.

Krystal: If we return Bess to Bianca without getting Kelly onboard, then we can't pin this on Paul, the one who started it all. Everybody is going to blame Babe. They're going to hate her for hanging on to that baby that she knows belongs to Bianca. And Ace is just going to land right into J.R.'s arms.

David: I know, I know. He's not going to waste any time using this against Babe. He's going to finally have the proof that he needs that she's not fit to raise their child.

Krystal: Exactly, exactly. He's going to shut Babe out completely. He's going to get full custody of that sweet little boy.

David: That is not going to happen. We still have a way to get back at J.R.

J.R.: Well, you can take some credit for the way that I am today.

Babe: You know, I wish that that test was screwed up -- that you weren't my baby's daddy, that it was Jamie.

J.R.: Will you shut up about Jamie and just sign the papers?

Babe: I was wrong. Adam didn't do this to you, and neither did I. You did this to yourself because of Jamie.

J.R.: Your signature.

Babe: That's what was eating at you. That's what's made you change. You hate that Jamie's everything that you're not.

J.R.: Well, that's his problem, isn't it?

Babe: You know, I think I finally figured you out -- who you are and why? Yeah, Jamie -- he has made some mistakes over the years, but the thing is, is he's learned from them. And he's not afraid of people and letting them get close, and he's not afraid of being loved or loving. He knows that it makes him bigger, not smaller.

J.R.: Oh. Wow. Maybe they'll let you write greeting cards instead of make license plates in prison.

Babe: Look at you -- trying to make yourself feel all big by being all superior, looking down on others. You've been hurt, so you've iced out your heart.

J.R.: That's me, old frozen heart. But if you sign this, I'll be your best friend.

Babe: You know what? Deep down inside, you know that Jamie's a great guy, the kind of guy that you wish you could be but you never will be? He's a better man, J.R.

J.R.: "A better man"? A better man doesn't betray his own brother. Jamie turned his back on me!

Babe: So that's why you're doing this? You think that you can win, J.R.? Well, you're in for a major disappointment because you can't. No matter if you send me off to prison or -- or no matter what you do to Jamie, you can't change the kind of man that he is. Because he is strong, and he is decent, and he'll do what's right. Not out of greed or any other reason, strictly because it's the right thing to do. And you? You'll always focus on the wrong because you're insecure and you're greedy and you're really weak.

Paul: You know, it's not like I didn't have enough to deal with already, but I had J.R. and Adam threatening me. I would've said anything for them to get off my case.

Jamie: So you told them their baby was ok and Bianca's was dead?

Singer: So maybe you're talking in your sleep

Paul: That was the hardest part --

Singer: Maybe I heard you wrong

Paul: You know, actually saying it -- Bianca Montgomery's baby was dead. She was innocent. She didn't do anything wrong.

Jamie: The baby?

Paul: No, you idiot, Bianca. God. It's not like Babe. The dirty tramp has been giving me trouble ever since I came East.

Jamie: So you were ticked off at her the day of the copter crash?

Paul: Oh, it started a lot earlier than that. If only she'd just filed those annulment papers -- God, she's just a twit!

Jamie: So you wanted to dish up the bad news to Babe, but Adam and J.R. were breathing down your neck, so Bianca was the one who lost. Hey, man, that's cool. If you want to unload, go for it. As cruddy as your life's been, it can't make anything worse.

[Door closes]

Maria: Edmund sees right through me. He knows I'm keeping secrets and that there's secrets about you. He just got through interrogating me just now about the whole thing, and I had to dance all around it and basically lie to him -- again.

Zach: To protect me?

Maria: Yes, to protect you, and this is ruining my marriage, Zach! God, I really hate you for this.

Edmund: Well, you tell Brooke to assign it to somebody else. I don't have time right now.

Edmund's voice: I missed you.

[Maria laughs]

Edmund's voice: I missed holding you, of breathing you in. I prayed for this day. I never gave up hope.

Maria: I know you didn't. I know you didn't. I was the one who gave up on us. Oh, God, I'm so sorry.

Edmund's voice: My heart came back to me. That's all that matters.

Maria's voice: God has given us this incredible gift -- a second change. Edmund, I thank God for putting us back together where we belong, where we will always belong. And we vowed to make up for those years lost, Edmund, and we'll be breaking those vows unless you drop this.

Maria: You're putting me in an impossible position.

Zach: I know. But if word gets out that I'm a Cambias and that I'm Ethan�s father, it could ruin his life. And if -- if you were me, you'd want to protect your child, right?

Maria: Yes! I need to protect my children and my marriage. I can't just sacrifice my life for this.

Zach: I don't want that. You know I don't. I'll get Ethan to abandon the Cambias throne, and I'll get him to leave town. And I'll do the same. Because you know what? You and Edmund, you need to get back to normal. But -- I can't tell you how much your loyalty means to me.

[Zach sighs]

Zach: I won't forget it.

Babe: You know, if I didn't hate you so much, I might actually feel sorry for you.

J.R.: And if I didn't hate you so much, I might actually care about what you think. Now, where were we before you started in on that talk-show psychobabble? Right -- the custody agreement. And now I'm not so evil that I won't give you one last chance. Sign, or you and Jamie will end up prison pen pals. Surrender, Babe. It is your only hope.

Jamie: It's perfect, we could both get revenge on Babe -- the whole Chandler family!

Paul: Forget it. What, you think you can buy me off with one lousy bottle of liquor, huh?

Jamie: No, I can get money, lots of it.

Paul: You think you can get me all liquored up, and I'll start admitting to things that I didn't do?

Jamie: No, no, no, no. You got me all wrong

Paul: No. No, no, no, you're wrong. You're dead wrong, all right, because it's not going to happen. I'm smarter than you. I'm a lot smarter than you.

Singers: You can never take it back oh, no

Singer: I do believe

Singers: Oh, no

Jamie: Yeah, you stole Babe's little boy. I am so going to make you pay.

Krystal: Come on -- come on, tell me, what is your plan? How can we trip up Paul and make him confess?

David: Well, it's not exactly a plan yet. It's just an idea.

Krystal: Come on.

David: Don't worry about a thing, ok? You just leave this to me. I'm going to handle Paul Cramer all on my own. They say confession's good for the soul -- if you have one. Right here. Good. Now, everyone will know that you are solely to blame for Babe ending up with Bianca's daughter.

Paul: Babe will be ok, but what about me?

David: That's easy.

Paul: Well, I'll have to leave town, I'll have to leave the state.

David: Don't worry. I have every intention of lending you a hand.

Paul: What else do I have to sign?

David: No, this one just requires my signature.

Paul: Well, what is it?

David: Your death certificate.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Ryan: Have I mentioned that I love your tan line?

Greenlee: Your lips say "tan line," your eyes say "let's go home."

Jonathan: How many positions did you have to show him before he offered to shoot my brother?