AMC Transcript Tuesday 10/5/04

All My Children Transcript Tuesday 10/5/04

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By Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele

Ethan: There's only one way to prove my father was Alexander Cambias, Jr.

Bianca: I know.

Zach: It's a nice thought, but without Michael's body, there's no Cambias DNA to test.

Bianca: True, there's nothing from Michael directly --

Kendall: Wait, Bianca, wait! I wanted to be here for this. Are you sure about this?

Bianca: Absolutely.

Zach: I know Ethan appreciates your help, but --

Ethan: I do.

Zach: It's too late. He's -- he's decided to give up the Cambias name and fortune.

Ethan: I didn't decide that. You did. Bianca, whatever magic you've got, bring it on.

Anita: Ugh. Oh, technology, I hate you.

Jamie: No, no, no, no! Don't touch it! Don't touch! Just let it go.

David: You people guarantee reliable genetic testing with the fastest turnaround, so how much longer do I have to wait?

Technician: You want accurate results, don't you?

David: No, I want you people to jerk me around forever and then screw it up. Now, if I don't know who that baby belongs to by tonight, you and the rest of this staff are going to be very, very sorry.

Tad: Pretty strong language for a guy who claims he already knows the answer.

David: Get lost.

Tad: What, miss the moment of truth? Not a chance.

Krystal: Ok, look, David's still at the lab. I'll call you as soon as I get an answer.

Babe: Hey, I already know that Ace is mine. I feel it so strong. He's my baby, Mama.

Krystal: I just don't want you to get your hopes up.

Babe: Mama, we're right. You're going to see. The only thing I'm worried about now is the whole daddy thing. Lord, just please let it be Jamie instead.

J.R.: Babe?

Krystal: Ok, look, I'll call you as soon as I hear. Ok, bye.

J.R.: Babe, where are you?

Babe: Coming!

[Babe sighs]

Babe: What's the -- I was -- I was going to say "problem," but --

J.R.: Then that would be me. I was. But not anymore.

Babe: I -- I don't get it.

J.R.: You said you wanted to get our marriage back on track, no more arguments. Well, I'm all for it. So what do you say? Our best shot? Here's to new beginnings. You're not going to drink to our future? Babe, hey, there's nothing but champagne in there. I swear it.

Babe: You said that our marriage couldn't be more dead if it had blown up with your car.

J.R.: That's because your mom had just blasted my Duesenberg. I was furious with her and mad at you, too. Look, no matter what fights we had or nasty things we've said to each other, we still share Bess. We both love her and we want to do right by her.

Babe: Bess is going to have a wonderful life. She's going to be the happiest, luckiest little girl in the world.

J.R.: Yeah. That's all I want for her, too.

Babe: Don't worry. I'll make sure she gets everything she deserves.

J.R.: So you're giving me another chance?

Anita: This isn't a paper for class.

Jamie: No, it's not. It's --

Anita: No, stop! Don't tell me. I mean it, Jamie, I can't do this again.

Jamie: No, no, Anita, just pretend you never saw me in here.

Anita: I've covered for you before. You can't just hack into hospital records when you feel like it. It's illegal.

Jamie: No, it's important.

Anita: Look, I don't care, ok?

Jamie: No, no, no, you can't narc on me yet.

Anita: I have to.

Jamie: No, you want to keep a baby away from its real parent?

Anita: Why are you doing this to me?

Jamie: Because once you told me you'd like to have kids someday.

Anita: Oh, don't even try to play that on me.

Jamie: No, what if someone was pulling a scam and they were keeping your kid away from you? Wouldn't you want your baby back?

Anita: What do you think?

Jamie: Well, that's what's at stake here. I need some answers, so just blow the whistle after I get them if you have to, but please just let me get the info I need.

[Anita sighs]

Jamie: Now, suppose someone wanted to rig DNA results. How would they do it? Anita, please.

Anita: Well, there's the obvious -- switching the samples or the labels on the samples, or just waiting till you get the test results and doctoring them. But the last time we did this dance, you were waiting for paternity test results.

Jamie: Yeah, for Babe's baby.

Anita: Is that -- is that what this is? You still think that there's a chance you could be the father?

Jamie: All I need to know is if Paul Cramer had access to one particular test.

Anita: Paul Cramer? That sleazy MedEvac pilot? The one that crashed with Bianca's baby?

Jamie: Oh, you like him, too?

Anita: Ugh, he's a creep.

Jamie: No, he's worse than you think.

Anita: That still doesn't make this right.

Jamie: Ok, I'm -- I'm not asking for confidential medical records, just his work schedule. And I know it's against hospital policy, but what Paul did was illegal. Now, I've hit a wall, but an employee could get me more. So if you're willing and you have the passwords �

Tad: Interesting, you being here alone.

David: Would that were true.

Tad: What's the matter? Don't want a witness? No one to keep you relatively honest?

David: Look, if this is some ineffectual game of cat-and-mouse, you're wasting my time.

Tad: Oh, you got the wrong rodent. But you're right about one thing -- we're wasting time. So I'll be even more direct. Why are you so anxious about this test? You always claimed it was a done deal -- Babe is your daughter, end of story. And come to think of it, there's one test that's already been run, so why are we doing another?

David: Krystal's idea, remember, not mine.

Tad: You know what I think?

David: The fact that you have the power to think at all? That's miraculous to me.

Tad: I think you're a big, fat liar. You're petrified the truth is about to come out.

David: All right, look, why don't you go play this game of clueless with Krystal, ok? She's the one that claimed that I was Babe's father. The test results confirmed it.

Tad: No, your test results, that's right, or so I heard. Which leads us back to the original question -- why are we here? Oh, that's right, Krystal wants a second opinion. So why are you so anxious?

David: Must be irritated, huh? I guess it's the company I keep.

Tad: Babe's not your daughter, is she?

David: What is this, huh? Some pathetic stepfather wannabe jealousy thing going on here? I am Babe's father, and I've done more for her than you ever will or ever could.

Tad: How's that? You rewrite your will? You going to offer her free cardio care for the rest of her life? Hey.

Krystal: Hey. You're not supposed to be here.

Tad: You're not glad to see me?

Krystal: Yeah. Yeah. I just wasn't expecting you.

Tad: Yeah, well, that makes two of you.

Krystal: Look, it's really sweet of you to come and protect me, but --

Tad: No, I'm not protecting you. He's the one that needs a 24-hour minder.

Krystal: Well, you know what? I'll keep an eye on him. You go home and relax. I'll be fine.

Tad: No, I'd rather keep you company.

David: I think we're past the chaperoning stage, don't you?

Tad: Who are you kidding? Where you're concerned, a woman needs an armed guard.

Krystal: Listen, if David tries to pull anything, then I'll holler for a lab tech with a sharp scalpel. And when I get the good news or the bad, then you'll be the first person I call.

Tad: Hmm. Well, it's not like I don't trust you, but I'd just like to sit around and watch for a while because as far as I'm concerned, it's the best show in town, watching you sweat bullets, Davey. You don't need the money. I'll help you set up a business.

Kendall: Wait a minute. What did I miss?

Ethan: Look, I appreciate the offer, but I don't want to depend on your relationship with my father.

Bianca: You knew Alexander Cambias, Jr., too?

Kendall: Well, that explains a lot, except why you never mentioned it before. No wonder you wanted to help Ethan.

Ethan: What's your idea to make me an official Cambias?

Bianca: Oh, it's more than an idea. This is what I was wearing when I had Miranda. It's never been washed, and so I think that there might be some trace of --

Kendall: Well, this is all that she has left of her baby, so just understand what this means to her.

Ethan: No, no, no, I do, I do.

Bianca: I didn't tell you about it before because I thought maybe you shot Ryan, and so I didn't want to give it to you, I didn't want to help you at all. But you deserve to know who you are, and I want to help you find out.

Zach: You can't do that. It's all you have left.

Kendall: No, no, Bianca is offering Ethan his future. You can't expect him to refuse.

Erica: He doesn't have to. As of now, Bianca's offer is officially off the table.

Bianca: Mother, I want to do this.

Erica: Gentlemen, would you please give me a few moments alone with my daughters?

Zach: A break would be good.

Ethan: Thank you, Bianca, for what you're trying to do.

Zach: Take your time.

Erica: You both cancel dinner on me to swoop to the rescue of a potential murderer?

Kendall: No, the bullet that hit Ryan was not fired from Ethan�s rifle.

Erica: Which only proves that he's not dumb enough to have used his own gun.

Bianca: Oh, Mother, that's so --

Erica: Possible? Look, I'm not here to discuss the potential innocence or guilt of that man. Bianca, for the longest time, we didn't even know that you held on to that top.

Bianca: Because it was too private.

Erica: And so now you intend to give it to a total stranger?

Bianca: Ethan is not a stranger.

Erica: You have no idea. You have no way to be sure of what or who he is.

Kendall: Well, that's why he needs the shirt that Bianca was wearing.

Erica: Bianca, this is far too precious to you.

Bianca: This is precious because Miranda touched it. We both did at the same time.

Kendall: She'll get it back.

Bianca: That's right. It's just a loan. We'll make sure it doesn't get lost.

Erica: Bianca, you are so brave and you are so strong, but this is too much. A test. It's just to get information so that Ethan can move on with --

Erica: Bianca! You managed to work through what Michael Cambias did. You survived, you're recovering. My God. Do you really want to bring another Cambias into our lives?

Zach: Sure you don't want a drink or something?

Ethan: No, thanks. I want to stay sharp.

Zach: Well, it's good we gave them some time.

Ethan: It won't matter. Bianca's solid. She's not going to change her mind. You hear that?

Zach: What?

Ethan: It's either a chain saw or old man Cambias whirring around in his grave -- or his ashes whipping around, at any rate.

Zach: You're having fun with this, aren't you?

Ethan: I stand to inherit a fortune that's going to choke an Onassis. It doesn't depress me.

Zach: That's too bad.

Ethan: There's justice in it, ok? My mother got screwed over by Alexander Cambias, Sr. I wish the old coot were here right now so I could rub his nose in it.

Zach: If the old coot were here, you wouldn't inherit anything.

Ethan: What's it like to be able to tell people what to do, when to do it, have the kind of -- have the kind of power that nobody dares challenge because you can smash them like they're nothing?

Zach: Here we go, huh? You already got the Cambias lust for blood and power.

Ethan: You don't know what it's like.

Zach: Why are you trying so hard to be a young version of a man you despise?

Ethan: I won't be anything like my grandfather.

Zach: No? You sound like him. "Smash them like they're nothing."

Ethan: I'll only stick it to those people who deserve it.

Zach: Oh, ok. Ruthless for the greater good, then?

Ethan: You'll see when I get my hands on that Cambias money.

Zach: You don't need the money. I'll give you all the money you want.

Ethan: You offered me a job, wealth, power, yes, but with limits. Why should I take it from you? Why do you even offer it? You were pals with my father, yes, but you don't owe me anything. My grandfather does.

Zach: Do you hear that? That's the old man laughing at you because you're playing right into his hands. You're his latest victim. You're tied to his legacy and his name.

Ethan: You're full of cheery predictions, aren't you?

Zach: I know what he did to his sons. You can't win this. In the end, you'll just become like the old man.

Bianca: Ethan is nothing like Michael Cambias.

Kendall: See, I thought you'd gotten past that whole evil-in-your-bloodline theory.

Erica: Don't be flip about this.

Bianca: If Ethan is a Cambias, he's Miranda�s cousin.

Erica: So that's what this is about? Of your little girl will live on in this man?

Bianca: No, that's overstating it. But if he is a relative, I think he deserves my help.

Erica: And what about Ryan and what he deserves?

Kendall: Ryan was willing to turn everything over to Miranda, remember?

Bianca: That's right. He's perfectly willing to abide by the clause in that will.

Erica: Because Ryan is a good man and because he loves you and he wanted to do everything he could to help you and your baby.

Kendall: No, mother, Ryan said himself if Ethan is Alexander's grandson, then everything is his. Ryan will sign it over.

Erica: Because Ryan is a good and honorable man. But this Ethan person -- are you really willing to give Enchantment and Fusion over to this total unknown -- not to mention Chandler Enterprises, which would kill Adam?

Kendall: Is that such a bad idea?

Erica: And Ryan being left penniless. Maybe that's not such a bad idea, either? In the wrong direction here.

Erica: Am I? Would it really bother you to see Ryan left --

Kendall: There was a time not so long ago when I wanted revenge, but I don't anymore.

Bianca: This isn't about hurting Ryan, Mom. This is about doing the right thing.

Erica: No matter what you set in motion?

Kendall: I remember. I remember what it's like feeling like you belong somewhere else, to someone else. You're searching for proof to fill in that life-size blank.

Bianca: If this can fill in that blank for Ethan, he deserves to have it. If you still want it. Unless you're giving up.

Ethan: I'm no quitter. I'm going to take that to a lab as soon as I can get one lined up.

Kendall: Great. Well, I'll help you there. Come on.

Bianca: Do you mind if I come with you?

Ethan: You made this possible. Are you kidding?

Bianca: It's going to be ok.

Zach: You're opening a door you won't be able to close.

Ethan: Give me some credit, ok? I make my own steps, I don't follow other people's.

Erica: Did you really think I would just stand idly by while you destroyed my family?

Krystal: How much longer is this going to take?

Tad: It's a complicated test.

David: And unnecessary, I might add.

Krystal: No, no, if I could just trust the results of that first one.

Tad: She's got you there.

David: Sorry to disappoint you. I am Babe's father.

Krystal: Oh, I am going to so love rubbing your nose in the truth. When that DNA machine blows a circuit because there's not a molecule of you in my baby doll, I am going to be the happiest woman in the universe.

David: Oh, yeah, well, just wait, all right? Go ahead, keep stuffing that soon-to-be-fat face of yours and wait.

Krystal: And when the word comes out that you're not even the distantest relation to my little girl, you are going to back way the heck off. No more hovering over her like some black, satanic cloud shouting your opinions on how she should lead her life. No, sirree, you're going to have zero to say to either one of us. Honey, will you go to the vending machines to get me an ice cream sandwich?

Tad: David, why don't you be good and spare us both a trip?

David: You know, that sounds like a great idea. And while I'm gone, you can get rid of him. It'll make the wait a lot more pleasant.

Tad: You don't seem relieved.

Krystal: Oh, are you kidding? No, honey, you're my hero. You're -- you're wonderful, but, baby, you really have him all steamed up.

Tad: Oh, that's nothing. I'm waiting for his head to blast off and hit the ceiling.

Krystal: No, seriously, I really think you should probably go home.

Tad: Yeah, well, you know what I think? I think I've seen more convincing arguments from pro wrestlers on television than the little demonstration you two just put on.

Krystal: What --

Tad: Now you're jumping through hoops doing his bidding?

Krystal: I am not!

Tad: Krystal, the fact is you want me gone worse than he does. What's going on?

Anita: Paul Cramer wasn't on duty the night the test was run.

Jamie: So we check the evening before.

Anita: Or the morning after, etc., etc. But let's go for a full PV Hospital report on Paul Cramer's work activity.

Jamie: You can do that?

Anita: You don't know I can do anything?

[Computer beeps]

Anita: Voilá -- the history of a weasel by date.

Jamie: From his first day. No. No. My God.

J.R.: The first meal we ever shared when we were in San Diego, down by the dock overlooking the water. I want to go back to then. I miss that. Haven't you? You know, there's one other thing I missed. You know, it used to be that we couldn't keep our hands off each other. I couldn't keep my hands off you. And you didn't want me to, remember? And how you'd wake me up in the middle of the night because you couldn't wait till morning? I loved that. I love the way you used to wake me up.

Krystal: Do I have to spell it out for you? I mean, yeah, of course I want to get rid of you. I didn't even want you to come here in the first place.

Tad: Well, I'm sorry. I was just trying to make the hard time a little easier, that's all.

Krystal: Well, look at me. I'm a wreck, ok?

Tad: You're not a wreck. You look beautiful.

Krystal: Yeah, yeah, for a woman that's been dragged through 10 miles of hard road. I mean, the fact is David probably is Babe's daddy, and I want him gone, I want him out of our lives, and -- and you're not helping.

Tad: Well, that's what I don't understand.

Krystal: Well, you're pushing buttons that David didn't even know he had.

Tad: That's not what I mean. I love torturing David. What I'm talking about is lately you've been acting like you're the president of Hayward�s fan club.

Krystal: I am not.

Tad: Oh, come on! You were the one that was hot to trot to get him out of jail. You even drafted me into helping you do it. You're the one that put him up in the tunnels at Adam's house, you two bonded over being Babe's parents, and now all of a sudden you jump on the anti-David bandwagon, you know, front and center. Hell, it's like you brought the tar and feathers. And please don't give me the "it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind" stuff, ok?

Krystal: Well, look, ok, I have come to David's aid from time to time, but that was just for Babe's sake, ok? Is that so hard to understand?

Tad: Yes! You just told me that he's been driving Babe crazy, hovering, he's all up in her business. I mean, which is it?

Krystal: Well, at first, when I found out they were father and daughter, it was different. But, you know, Babe has been through enough suffering, enough misery. I just wish it was over.

Tad: Krystal, look at me.

Krystal: I am.

Tad: Not unless I'm covered with milk chocolate. Look at me. Is that so hard to do?

Krystal: No. No. Why should it be?

Tad: I don't know, you tell me. It's the first time you've done it all day. What's going on? What's really behind this test?

Krystal: Bianca? What are you doing here?

Bianca: I'm here for some DNA results.

Babe: I don't think we should take this too fast.

J.R.: See there? You're confusing me, because I thought you wanted for us to have our marriage back the way it was, for Bess, for us. You know, we're still husband and wife. Why don't we act like it?

Babe: Get your hands off me, you dirty son of a bitch.

J.R.: I knew it was a lie, you know? So what are you still doing in my house? What do you want from me?

Babe: My baby. All I want is my baby.

J.R.: Don't you mean my baby? I can play fair. I'll give you Bess' weight in cash, singles, because you're not worth a cent more.

Babe: You will not get her! You'll never take her away!

J.R.: You know who you're talking to? A Chandler. Do you know who you are? No one. So you take me on, you go ahead, and you will lose bigtime!

Babe: I'm not scared of you.

J.R.: Then you are dumber than you look. You make one single move to my daughter, I swear to God I will make you suffer. I will make you suffer. I will magnify every sin that you've ever committed. That I didn't know about and I'll make damn sure that you stay in prison, right where you belong.

Babe: You stood right here in this room and you vowed in front of God and everybody that you would love me always.

J.R.: Yeah? And you stood in San Diego and you told me that you loved your husband. But, hmm, hmm, which one was it, Babe? Was it me or was it Paul Cramer?

Babe: When we christened Bess, I could barely even see through my tears. You loved her so much.

J.R.: Yeah, and I still do, which means you don't stand a chance in hell.

Babe: You'll never keep Bess away from her mother. I won't let you.

J.R.: You know what, you'd better give it up, Babe! I'm stronger than you and I'm a hell of a lot faster!

Jamie: The test Babe had done when she was pregnant was sent to a Canadian lab, and the results were brought back by chopper.

Anita: Piloted by Paul Cramer.

Jamie: I could be the baby's father.

Anita: But the results proved that J.R. is, didn't they?

Jamie: I don't trust any results that were passed through the hands of Paul Cramer. I could be a father.

Anita: What else can I do?

Jamie: Oh -- just we were never here. You did nothing and you know nothing.

Anita: But we still don't know anything for sure.

Jamie: Except Paul's a liar.

Anita: Are you ok?

Jamie: Yeah. You probably better get back to work. I'll straighten up.

Anita: Ok. Good luck.

Jamie: Thanks.

Kendall: Well, this is the last place I'd expect to run into people that we know.

Bianca: What are you doing here?

Tad: We've just given David enough rope and we're waiting for the gallows.

David: We're just waiting for some test results.

Tad: And praying that a second test proves that he has no connection to Babe.

Bianca: Didn't you already check that?

Krystal: Yeah, well, what results are you waiting for?

Kendall: Well, we're just getting started.

Bianca: I need to find out if there's enough of Miranda�s DNA on this shirt to help Ethan prove that he's a Cambias.

David: So you're going to give it up?

Bianca: Well, only temporarily.

David: You're not going to get it back in one piece. You do know that, don't you?

Bianca: Are you sure?

David: Not unless they can find a high concentration of amniotic fluid or tissue in a single area.

Bianca: Well, not that I could see, no.

David: Then they'll have to search every inch of fabric and, well, they'll have to cut it up. Every bit with any possible trace of DNA will be snipped out.

Kendall: Is that all right?

Bianca: Well, it's not really all I have left of Miranda. I mean, yes, it's something that we shared, but I touched her. I -- I held her. I looked deep into her eyes. Nobody can take that away from me. As long as I have those memories, I'll never really lose my little girl.

Bianca: Here.

Erica: Don't you dare threaten my daughters.

Zach: I was trying to protect Bianca.

Erica: Oh, yeah, you always cast yourself as the protector, as the savior. But I was right about you in the first place in Las Vegas. I knew you wanted to hurt me, only now you've taken it way too far. Now you want to hurt my daughters?

Zach: You're wrong about that.

Erica: Oh, am I? Am I paranoid? Am I imagining it? We both know I haven't had anything to drink. We both know that I'm not drunk. No, it is far too late for you to try to deny this, Mr. Slater. You lured half the town here, you concocted your sick murder game, and you cast Kendall as the killer.

Zach: I had nothing to do with anything.

Erica: Oh, come on! You staged the shooting, and then you made sure that Kendall would be positioned to be the chief suspect.

Zach: I didn't know Ryan was going to be shot. I had no idea about that either.

Erica: Oh, well, this also explains why you and that Cambias wannabe are so buddy-buddy, because he'd get everything if you killed Ryan and let Kendall swing for it. Only now somehow, for some unknown reason, Kendall trusts you. They both do. For some reason, Bianca and Kendall both are giving their all to try to help that son of a Cambias.

Zach: Whatever friendship they formed has nothing to do with me. That's their own doings.

Erica: Oh, aren't you smooth? Well, exactly what sympathies did you touch in my daughter when you got her to feel so deeply?

Zach: I have great admiration for your daughter.

Erica: Can you even begin to understand what that little camisole means to her?

Zach: I didn't even know it existed until just now.

Erica: Oh, and you jumped right on it, didn't you? Bianca survived what Michael Cambias did to her, but she cannot possibly go through what happened to her baby. Please, she cannot go through her baby's death again.

Zach: What are you doing? You think I want her to? No. I was this close to having Ethan give up his little claim for the Cambias throne. That's when Bianca walked in.

Erica: No, don't you dare blame this on Bianca! You and that Ethan person, you had no right to try to involve my daughters in your business.

Zach: I'll keep that in mind.

Erica: Do. Because the last Cambias who hurt us wound up dead.

Zach: Are you threatening me?

Erica: You pass that on to Ethan. Convince him to leave town. And go with him.

Zach: Or what? You going to kill Ethan the same way you killed Michael?

Erica: I wish I had pulled that trigger. After what Michael Cambias did to Bianca, I should have been the one to send him to hell. Tell Ethan I learned my lesson. From now on, whoever hurts my daughter, he answers to me, and I will decide his punishment.

Zach: That is touching devotion. When did this maternal thing kick in for you, anyway? Was it after you lost the custody battle for Bianca because you cheated on her father with his brother? Or because you wanted to disown her because she admitted to being a lesbian? Some habits are just hard to break, aren't they? Disowning your children. It started with Kendall. You didn't even acknowledge that she was yours until you had no choice. Kendall kept on coming and your public image couldn't take another bashing. That is what this is all about, isn't it? Your public image, the way you look and what your fans think of you.

[Erica gasps as Zach stops her from slapping him.]

Bianca: Go ahead, take it.

Ethan: You don't have to do this. You know that?

Bianca: It's just a shirt.

Ethan: No, it isn't. Slater could be right. Maybe it's -- maybe it's best we don't know.

Bianca: Ethan, this is about who you are, how you fit in. That's big.

Ethan: So is this. I know you say that this isn't all that you have left of Miranda, but I can't take it from you.

Kendall: But if it's the only key to finding out who you are, then --

Ethan: Then -- then I'm going to have to say thank you, but I can't.

Kendall: Didn't I tell you? He's the real thing.

Bianca: I hope everything works out ok. I know how much you need your daughter.

Tad: Well, I've got to run, too.

Krystal: Wait, you said you didn't want to leave me here with David.

Tad: I just remembered something I forgot.

David: Took him long enough to get the hint, huh?

Krystal: I didn't know if I could keep going on and on with those lies.

David: Please tell me this isn't another delay.

Technician: We've got preliminary results.

Krystal: Oh, God.

J.R.: You can't keep me out of there, Babe! You can't win!

Babe: That's what you think!

J.R.: Come on! Open the door!

[Pounding on door]

Babe: Hey, sweetie. It's ok, he just likes to make noise. It's ok.

J.R.: Come on, I'm not kidding around!

Babe: Hey. Oh, God, it's ok.

J.R.: Open this door!

Babe: Come here, come here.

J.R.: Come on, Babe!

Babe: Hey, he can't have you because you're not his. No, you're not. No. Oh, it's ok.

J.R.: You're only making things worse for yourself!

Babe: Hey, how about you keep it down a couple notches, huh? Gosh, the whole state can hear you! Hey, he can huff and he can puff and he can blow the house down, but not by the hair of his chinny --

J.R.: All right, Babe!

Babe: Oh, sweetie, we got to get you back to your mama, Bianca --

J.R.: One, two, three!

Babe: Oh, God, before he does something awful.

Zach: Can't take the truth?

Erica: I love the truth. And when I find out the truth about you, I'll use it. You just made the biggest mistake of your life.

David: All right, come on, out with it. We don't have to wait for a drumroll.

Technician: This is just a preliminary test between the mother and the baby boy. The test for paternity is still in progress.

David: We got that. Please?

Technician: It's a match.

Krystal: Oh.

David: A match.