AMC Transcript Tuesday 6/8/04

All My Children Transcript Tuesday 6/8/04

By Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele

Tad: J.R.? Where the hell is everybody?

Tad: "Pennsylvania Divorce Case Law"? Why the hell would he be reading this?

J.R.: This is becoming a habit with you.

Tad: What habit?

J.R.: Your nose, my business. The two have become inseparable.

Tad: Well, ok. I mean, now that you brought it up, you thinking about getting a divorce?

Babe: I'm sorry, I know that you're probably busy, but --

David: Well, that's all right. I was just getting myself together to go out for the evening.

Babe: Well, it's an emergency.

David: Why, is something wrong with you?

Babe: Not me. Her.

Bianca: Yellow cake, strawberry filling, buttercream frosting.

Reggie: Mmm.

Bianca: Shoot me now. So how is the birthday boy? Is he hungry?

Reggie: Yeah, Jack�s kind of stressed. He took Lily out for a walk, but you better make sure that strawberry filling isn't red. Pink's ok with Lily.

Bianca: Oh, my God, I completely forgot. Well, Uncle Jack is probably in no mood to party. Has he mentioned the phone call yet?

Reggie: From Erica? No. Lily's the new MVP in town. He's amazing with her.

Bianca: Well, I just wanted him to know that I didn't forget.

Reggie: Yeah, well, that's cool. I guess we just got to play it low-key.

Ryan: I think it's great that you kept Jackson's birthday under the radar. I mean, he's had enough to deal with.

Greenlee: A little family support might be all he needs right now. Blow out the candles, make a wish, and --

Pearly: Tell Rudy to call off the Mounties. Her majesty decided to show up!

Erica: The way Rudy stresses over everything, he could give us all diva lessons.

Pearly: We're going to go stretch before the curtain. You need to hurry up, Desiree!

Erica: Time to spare, Pearly! I have never been better. That klutz ought to worry about her own problems.

Bianca: You're hurting everyone, Mother. You're hurting everyone.

Zach: Maybe you shouldn't go on tonight.

Erica: Well, of course I'll go on. I'm a professional.

Zach: A professional what?

Erica: What are you suggesting?

Zach: You don't look well.

Erica: I am not drunk.

Zach: If you say so.

Erica: Oh, I see. Oh, well, isn't this perfect. You're going to stand here now and you're going to argue with me so I'm guaranteed to miss my entrance, which will, of course, ruin the show, but who cares because you'll be right. That's all you care about is that you are right and you make a fool out of the rest of us.

Jack: I can't even talk to you until you've stopped drinking.

Erica: Leave me alone. Leave me alone, all of you.

Kendall: Great minds think alike.

Bianca: Well, not that much alike. What do you got in here?

Kendall: Huh.

Bianca: Coconut layer cake.

Greenlee: Pear torte. I know how much he likes fruit.

Reggie: And you three came together?

Greenlee: No.

Kendall: No.

Bianca: But we all came here because we love Uncle Jack so much and today is his birthday, right?

Kendall: Mm-hmm.

Ryan: So where is the guest of honor?

Bianca: He's not home yet, but when he gets back, we should remember that today is about him and not us and all of our stuff.

Greenlee: Variety is the spice of life. And for my next cliché --

Kendall: Where are the knives? I mean for cutting the cake, I swear.

Bianca: You didn't tell me you were coming.

Kendall: Well, don't you love surprises?

Bianca: Hmm, no, I really don't. So I'm afraid to ask.

Kendall: What, what, you think I'm going to cause trouble for Ryan and Greenlee?

Bianca: Yeah, well, that would be the question.

Kendall: No. Look, look, I'm Jack�s niece, sort of, so I just want to be here for him the way that he's been there for me.

Bianca: I'm almost convinced.

Kendall: Binks, I promise you I had no idea they were going to be here, ok, but I am very cool with this more-than-awkward situation.

Bianca: All right.

Kendall: Ok.

Bianca: Just make sure when Uncle Jack gets home, things don't turn nasty.

Kendall: Never. We're family.

Greenlee: What is she up to?

Ryan: I haven't the slightest idea.

Greenlee: Should we get ready for act two of her little drama that she pulled at the interrogation? Shouldn't we ask her about that?

Ryan: No, not here, not now, not tonight.

Reggie: Wait a minute. What's going on here? It's like the Crips and the Bloods. I don't like the way this is going on, so listen up. I have an ultimatum for you guys. You can play it my way or get your cakes and get the hell out.

Babe: Ok, so we're driving along by the river, and then all of a sudden she starts breathing funny again like she did after the wedding.

David: Another panic attack?

Krystal: No, you know, it's just being down there by that riverbank where all that misery started. I just get --

Babe: Yes, you did, and so I realized how close we were to your house. Dr. Hayward, can you just please give her one more look-over, stem to stern?

Krystal: Honey, my stern is just fine.

David: And your stem's not so bad, either.

Babe: All that I'm saying is if you guys don't want me to start having panic attacks about your panic attacks, I need you to give her a clean bill of health and let me know that she's in the pink.

[Babe sighs]

Krystal: My daughter is relentless.

David: You've got something really special there, Krystal. I can't remember the last time someone cared enough about me to want my stem or my stern checked.

Babe: You guys, here's the deal -- I either need to know that you have a clean bill of health or you are going to have to teach me CPR in case one of us falls over from a heart attack!

David: I'm not worried about your mother and I'm not worried about you.

Babe: Dr. Hayward, you really need to start watching more TV. Do you know how many women are falling over from heart attacks all over the place?

David: Babe, Babe, relax. I'll look after your mother.

Babe: All right. Good. I'll go wait outside so you two can do this proper.

David: All right. Well, once again, I get to say those four special words to you, Krystal -- take off your blouse.

Tad: I know it's not your father, because Adam wrote the book on divorce in this state, so what's the deal?

J.R.: I don't know, why don't you tell me. You seem to be the expert at keeping secrets. The one about Babe's annulment? Or how about the one where you ordered a DNA crosscheck on my baby daughter?

Tad: J.R., I -- I told you why I did that and I apologized. I -- I don't know what more I can do. I mean, aren't you at least happy that you know?

J.R.: Oh, good. This is where you get to justify yourself. Right?

Tad: You know, son, resentments can make you mean. I'm not trying to justify anything. In any case, all's well that ends well, right?

J.R.: Yeah. Bet you breathed a sigh of relief.

Tad: Yeah, I did, very much so, like the one you let go in this very room after Kendall's sideshow the day of your wedding. I proved to the world that Bess belongs with you, and now that you and Babe are happily legal, everything is cool, isn't it?

J.R.: Nothing could be better.

Tad: Well, then maybe you should forget about whatever it is you're thinking of doing.

J.R.: Why would I marry a woman to divorce her the next day?

Reggie: All right, so what we got is this girl that has way more baggage than me or any of you guys. She has this numbers thing going on that makes your head spin, and if stuff isn't exactly lined up, her head starts to spin. When sees the color red, she really sees the color red. And don't go moving all over the room or anything like that. Then she has to start over and go back.

Bianca: Lily doesn't see the forest. She sees every leaf on every tree.

Reggie: Yeah, so just keep it simple. She takes everything literally. I say "cool down" and she's ready to put on a sweater.

Greenlee: Maybe this is too overwhelming, all these new faces all at once.

Ryan: Yeah, that's not a bad point.

Kendall: You know what, I'll go. Don't worry about it. I'll be the one to go. I'll just -- I'll come back and I'll see Jack later. Just save me a cake -- or two. Surprise!

Erica: I don't care what you have to say. I don't need you anymore. I don't need anyone. And you sure as hell don't need me! So why don't you just get out of my face! Just go back to where you came from! Hmm. My luck. I would have to work with a bunch of slobs.

David: Your heartbeat is slightly above the normal resting rate. Should I take that as a compliment?

Krystal: Yeah, you think pretty highly of yourself. It might be because I have a hot date tonight, which I am late for.

David: A hot date?

Krystal: Mm-hmm.

David: Well, then by definition, that can't be Tad.

Krystal: It could.

David: Ah. Hold it. Your heart just skipped a beat.

Krystal: Purely coincidental.

David: Did you know that all a lie detector does is monitor one's normal functions -- respiration, heart rate?

Krystal: Yeah, I know that. I watch "NYPD Blue."

David: Hmm. In fact, if I wanted to, I can do a lie-detector test with you right here, right now. Here, why don't we try it? Breathe out very slowly. Tad Martin. Ooh.

Krystal: What?

David: Shh. Again, slowly. David Hayward. Huh. Good news -- you're not beyond hope.

Krystal: What about my anxiety problem?

David: For the moment, under control. But I am worried that you might aggravate it.

Krystal: Well, what can I do about that?

David: Stop seeing Tad. He's bad for your health.

Krystal: Now, is this a medical opinion or maybe just a little bit of sour grapes?

David: Think about it. You're as fit as the day that your daughter got married. The one contributing factor, the one linking factor to these two incidents is Tad Martin. So other than your lousy taste in male companionship, you are in excellent shape -- on so many levels.

Krystal: Thank you. You don't mind if I get a second opinion on that, though, do you?

David: So listen to me, Krystal, when you can figure out why it is that Tad makes you panic, give me a call, anytime, day or night. You can even reach me through my service.

Krystal: That's real generous of you. Bet you even make house calls. Oh. So did you go to Stanford?

David: Yes, I did.

Krystal: What is that little windy road up there overlooking the ocean? It's Mill -- Mill something?

David: Page Mill Road.

Krystal: That's it. Oh, my God, what a view. It takes your breath away.

David: Hmm. Nice try, Krystal. But I'm keeping my eye on the prize. I'm going to find you a cure for Tad Martin.

J.R.: You see a book on divorce law and you immediately jump to Babe and I splitting up.

Tad: Well, give me a reason not to.

J.R.: We couldn't be happier?

Tad: So what the hell is this, some new kind of hobby? What happened to collecting baseball cards?

J.R.: I was simply reading the fine print on the annulment laws. I may love my wife, but she has a way of turning the simplest things into mud. Now, I was just checking to see if we were legally legal and that her former marriage was history. You get it now?

Tad: Got it.

J.R.: And when you weren't looking, I outgrew baseball cards. Your stepson's a grown man now.

Tad: J.R., if I stepped over the line, I'm sorry.

J.R.: It feels like you're willing to think the worst of me these days.

Tad: No. I'm just worried. You know that I would be devastated if I ever felt that mistakes I'd made would damage things between you and me.

J.R.: You know, why don't you just cut us both a break. These sort of things take time.

Tad: "These sort of things." That's a gentle way of putting it.

J.R.: Fine. You lied to me. You kept secrets from me. Now I know, and I'll survive it just like we've survived everything else.

Tad: Wow. How long does one woman take to get ready?

J.R.: Who, Krystal?

Tad: Yeah. I thought she'd be downstairs by now. You mind if I go up and tell her I'm here?

J.R.: You could if she were here.

Tad: She's not?

J.R.: Babe called, said that she was stopping by Hayward�s place to get her heart checked out again?

Tad: Get out.

J.R.: You know the way. Ok. "Custody. Custody."

Pearly: Was that your world of revenge, Desiree, tripping me during the second act finale?

Erica: Oh, come on, don't be ridiculous. I just lost count for a little split second. Nobody noticed anything.

Pearly: You've done the same forward step slide a thousand times! Have you forgotten your left from your right?

Erica: Oh, come on. Back off, Pearly. Do you hear me screaming like a fishwife just because you fell into the orchestra pit last month?

Pearly: My shoe fell apart!

Erica: Oh, nice excuse.

Pearly: At least I was sober.

Erica: Don't you dare go there. I swear to you, you will not come back in one piece.

Kendall: We're cousins, sort of. I'm Bianca's sister. Well, she's my half sister.

Lily: How can you have half a sister? You can't be cut in half unless you're dead.

Jack: Yeah, that's not an easy concept for her to wrap her mind around. Um -- Bianca and Kendall have the same mother, and that's the half that makes them sisters.

Lily: So, I have a half sister, too? Greenlee and I have the same father.

Jack: Exactly. This is Greenlee. Remember her picture?

Greenlee: I'm so happy to finally meet you.

Lily: Yes -- to meet me.

Jack: And this -- this is -- this is Greenlee's husband, Ryan.

Reggie: Yeah, we're still having trouble wrapping our minds around that one, too.

Ryan: I've heard a lot about you, Lily, and I hope that we can be friends.

Lily: All my friends are back at my school.

Bianca: Lily, is this party too much for you?

Lily: We had parties at my school -- for people with birthdays. I'm pretty good at them if I make the schedule. Will there be games, because games need schedules, scores, and the names of the players.

Reggie: No, no, Lily, there's no games. Just presents and lots of cakes for Jack. I think candles, too. He's going to have to blow out a lot of candles this year.

Jack: Hey, hey, hey.

Lily: Can I write this down? I have a pen and paper in my room.

Kendall: So, how'd we do, Jack?

Jack: Great, great. Everybody, thank you so much.

Ryan: Yeah, it's not that complicated once you get down the basics, you know.

Reggie: Isn't that what I said?

Jack: She'll get to know us all in a few months and it'll be a lot easier, you know? Speaking of cake, we have a little cake-o-rama. Shall we do the first round?

Ryan: I'm in, I'm in, I'm in.

Kendall: Cut me some, please.

Jack: Don't go first, though -- me. It's my birthday, you know.

Greenlee: Thanks for backing us up with the SEC.

Kendall: You're welcome.

Greenlee: Are you on drugs?

Kendall: No, I'm just high on life, Greenlee.

Greenlee: I have a feeling that your other stiletto is about to drop and it's going to land right in my back.

Kendall: Can't a girl just be nice to a good old friend?

Greenlee: Not when that girl is you and the friend is me.

Kendall: Greenlee, relax, ok? You've won. You have the life you've always wanted, so just sit back and enjoy it.

Greenlee: Yeah. So why don't I trust any of this?

Kendall: Maybe I can help. I know the name of a really good shrink.

David: Yeah, that's good.

Babe: So? What's the news? How is she?

David: Oh, I don't know. It may be hopeless.

Babe: What?

Krystal: David thinks I have a bad case of Tad Martin.

[Babe chuckles]

Krystal: If it starts to spread, I'll call your service.

David: Good. So where's the cad taking you tonight?

Tad: I guess that would be none of your business. And it looks like I got here just in the nick of time.

Krystal: Well, you know, he didn't tell me where we're going, either.

Tad: Yeah, well, that's why they call it a surprise.

David: Great. I could see it now -- checkered tablecloths, Chianti bottles with candles, overcooked pasta and sauce on top of everything, right?

Tad: Gosh, you know me so well.

David: Hmm, you are predictable.

Babe: Sounds pretty yummy to me.

Tad: Well, come, my naked gnocchi. Your spumoni awaits.

Krystal: Thanks, David.

David: Sure.

Krystal: Baby doll, thanks for caring about your mama.

Babe: Somebody's got to do it.

Krystal: Hmm. Love you.

Babe: Bye.

Krystal: Bye.

Tad: Take care.

Babe: Have fun. So, honestly, how is she?

David: 100%, except for that big lump hanging off her arm. She needs to have him lanced.

Babe: Let me tell you something about my mama -- the more that you tell her something's bad for her, the harder she's just going to hang on to it. You'll figure it out. Thank you so, so much for taking care of my mama.

David: Sure.

Babe: Ok. Have a good night.

David: Thanks.

[David sighs]

Liza: Popular man. I waited until your fan club left.

David: Well, guess you missed the sign -- oh, of course you did because you didn't come through the front door -- "No Soliciting."

Liza: Oh. That's cute. You know, I would, if I had a pair of handcuffs, chain myself to that couch till you helped me get rid of Krystal Carey, but I don't have any, so we have to borrow your pair because I'm not leaving until mission's accomplished.

Pearly: Come on, Desiree! One more act! If you can keep your left and your right straight, we can get this show over! Come on!

Erica: I'm fine.

Pearly: Ugh!

Erica: Ahem. Oh, thanks for your support, you pathetic bimbo.

Bianca: You are not fine. You are not fine.

Reggie: You are not fine.

Kendall: You are not fine.

Jack: You are not fine.

All: You are not fine. You are not fine. You are not fine. You are not fine! You are not fine! Not fine!

Erica: Yes! I am fine!

Zach: No, you're not.

Erica: Who asked you?

Zach: You nearly brought down the whole line out there.

Erica: Oh, for God's sake! I made one nothing little mistake! I mean, I'm not proud of it, but it's hardly the end of the world!

Zach: You're right, it's not, so you won't mind not ending the show tonight.

Erica: What? You wouldn't dare.

Zach: You're not fit to perform!

Erica: You can't stop me! I am going out on that stage and I am going to prove to every last one of you bastards! You have tried to drag me down for my entire life, but you can't do it because I am better than you! I am better than all of you!

Zach: It's ok. I got you.

Erica: Take your hands off me!

Zach: It's ok.

Erica: No, let me go! Put me down!

Krystal: Checkered tablecloths, huh?

Tad: Oh, I didn't want to give Hayward the satisfaction.

Krystal: You boys. Where is everybody?

Tad: Well, they're probably watching a team that stands a chance of winning. We used to stand half a chance, but they called our catcher up to double-A ball.

Krystal: And which ones are the Pine Valley Mudhens?

Tad: Oh, those would be the gentlemen in the khaki, up to bat. All these other guys are just the Llanview Boilermakers. It's an ancient and honorable rivalry.

Krystal: Hmm.

Tad: Remember, two balls, two strikes.

Krystal: Whoo! What is that?

Tad: It's my thumb. I have always wanted to do that. No, hey, not the face, not the face. Come on, stop.

Krystal: Too late for manicotti?

Woman: Hey, shut up! It's my boyfriend at bat.

Tad: Yeah? Did he buy you that dress? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Krystal: Yeah! Throw the bum out! He's juiced on 'roids!

Tad: Sit down! Shh!

Krystal: Ow!

Liza: I've seen the way you look at Krystal, and I know how much she would love being with a world-renowned cardiac surgeon.

David: Excuse me. I'm bored now.

Liza: You're not listening to a word I'm saying.

David: You're right, I'm not listening to anything because I've heard it all before. It's become part of your mantra. First, you start by stating your goal -- an unencumbered Tad. Then you try to convince me how wonderful my life would be if I lost myself in Krystal's lusciousness.

Liza: And why do I need to remind you that you hate Tad and that you hate his father and that you hate everyone in his immediate world? You probably lay awake at night trying to figure out ways to ruin his life, so why wouldn't you help me split up Tad and Krystal?

Babe: J.R.? Hey.

J.R.: How's your mom?

Babe: Dr. Hayward says that she's perfect. It's sweet of you to ask.

J.R.: Well, I was so worried, honey.

Babe: Well, you know, she's had a lot of excitement lately, and I guess it just finally all caught up with her.

J.R.: Hmm.

Babe: So, what have you been doing?

J.R.: Oh, Chandler business.

Babe: Honey, this late? Don't you think you probably should've clocked out by now?

J.R.: You'd think. Even though it is our honeymoon, the wheels of Chandler Enterprises keep on grinding.

Babe: Well, maybe I can help.

J.R.: You know, you're awfully cute and you make great-looking babies, but I don't think you know anything about business.

Babe: Except how to keep the boss happy. Doesn't this feel like one of those fun old movies where the secretary's sitting on the boss' lap and she's taking dictation?

J.R.: Yeah -- back before sexual harassment was created.

Babe: Ahem. I'm ready, Mr. Chandler.

J.R.: Take a letter, Ms. Carey. "Dear Mr. Smith, due to your dishonest dealings, we have begun hostile takeover maneuvers. Negotiations are not an option. You'll be hearing from my lawyer post haste. Sincerely, etc., etc." Now read that back to me, Ms. Carey.

Babe: Ahem. Dear Mr. somebody or other -- did you know that you have the sexiest eyes I've ever seen?

Jack: This is beautiful. Thank you so much. And who's next?

Kendall: This is just a little something, a little tiny something, nothing big.

Jack: Well, thank you very much.

[Jack and Greenlee laugh]

Lily: Uh-oh. People get presents. People get presents for their birthdays.

Jack: Lily, you don't have to worry about giving me a present. This was -- this was a surprise to you and me.

Lily: People get presents all wrapped up in boxes. I don't have one.

Bianca: You know, Lily, I don't have a present for Uncle Jack, either. And a lot of presents don't even have to come in boxes.

Kendall: That's right, sometimes you just need to do something that the person would really want. Just giving them something they want is a good present.

Lily: Oh. I didn't know that. I know something I could give my dad that he really wants. He asked me before, but I didn't give it to him. If I say yes now for your birthday, will it count as my present?

Jack: You bet it would.

Greenlee: What is it?

Jack: A hug. Now, Lily, if you feel anxious about this at all, it's ok to tell me that, ok? Ok.

[Jack outstretches his arms and lets Lily hug him wishing he could hug her back]

Erica: What's that?

Zach: It's what the natives call water. You ought to try it sometime.

Erica: In the other hand.

Zach: Aspirin.

Erica: I never touch that. I mean it. I don't want them. I won't take them.

Zach: You will tomorrow.

Erica: You don't know what I'm going to want tomorrow.

Zach: Just shut up and swallow. You'll thank me later. Come on.

Erica: Oh. I see. Take two aspirin and pink-slip me in the morning.

Zach: No, I'm not going to fire you. Because sober, you are the best performer on my stage -- not just my stage, any stage. But drunk --

Erica: Oh! Here it comes.

Zach: Drunk, you're a fantastic waste of feathers and sequins.

Erica: Certainly, you have better things to do with your time.

Zach: Oh, you're right, I do.

Erica: You're just like everybody else. You are so busy dissecting your version of the truth, and you didn't even know me.

Zach: Oh. Oh, I get it. You think you're complicated. You're not.

Erica: Ha.

Zach: No, you're very simple.

Erica: Oh.

Zach: You feel sorry for yourself, so you drink to punish everyone that loves you.

Erica: Foolish man. And that's not the first mistake that you've made, because I could have danced.

[Zach chuckles]

Erica: I could have danced --

Zach: Yeah.

Erica: If you hadn't kidnapped me.

Zach: Get over yourself, woman.

Erica: Oh, that's a nice way to talk to a lady.

Zach: Come here. Come here!

Erica: What? Hey!

Zach: Let me show you something. Look at yourself. Look in the mirror! What do you see? Where is the lady?

Lily: Was that a present?

Jack: That was maybe the greatest present I've ever gotten.

Lily: Really?

Jack: Really.

Lily: I have to go work on my schedule.

Jack: Ok. Thank you.

Zach: Look at yourself. Who's looking back at you?

Erica: Desiree Dubois.

Zach: She doesn't serve you well. You -- you can lie to me all you want. I don't care. You can lie to the whole world. You start lying to yourself, you're going to end up in jail or the loony bin or a morgue somewhere. It's up to you.

Zach: Forget it. I took the bottle out of your bag. And room service has instructions.

Erica: What are you saying?

Zach: You'll be safe here tonight. Drink plenty of water, and I'll check with you in the morning, ok? Oh. One more thing. I'm locking you in. Management's prerogative for difficult guests.

Krystal: Whoo-hoo! All right! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Boy, I've never seen a triple play! That is amazing! Yeah! Yeah!

Tad: You'll get us killed. You're supposed to cheer for the home team.

Krystal: Honey, a good play's a good play. It doesn't matter who pulls it off.

Woman: Would you shut your mouth, honey? You wouldn't know a good play if it hit you on your head.

Krystal: Oh. Oh, that's right, that's your boyfriend who hit into that triple play, huh? Guess who's not getting any tonight, huh?

Woman: Maybe I'll have to make you shut your mouth.

Krystal: Oh, I'm scared.

Tad: All right, ok, girls, ladies -- stop, stop, stop. Stop it, all right, remember? Neutral corners. Wouldn't want to smudge the mascara.

Woman: She's not worth it.

Krystal: Please, I can take her. She's a wimp.

Woman: Oh, that's it!

Krystal: Whoa! Whoa! You want a piece of me? You want a piece of me?

Woman: Yes!

Krystal: Come on! Come on, baby! Come on! Bring it on!

Woman: Oh, mine, mine!

Tad: Come on, sweetheart. Come on, Krystal. Don't do this to me, sweetheart. Come on.

Woman: Maybe you should take your girlfriend home. She's looking a little piqued.

Tad: Yeah, thanks for all your help.

[Krystal groans]

Tad: Oh, yeah, that's right. Thank you, lord. Krystal? Come on. Come on back. You can talk to me. Come on.

[Krystal groans]

Bianca: Come on, Krystal. You can talk to me.

Krystal: It wasn't Babe. It was -- it was me. I did it.

Tad: Krystal? What? You did what?

David: Liza, try to hear this -- I will not be your aide-de-camp or your handmaiden or your nasty sidekick.

Liza: I'd give you a better title than that.

David: Trust this -- you're not going to need me. Martin is going to screw this up all on his own. He always does. So why should I take the heat when the fates are going to work this out for me?

Liza: That's it. David Hayward, you have just given me the way to get rid of Krystal.

Babe: Maybe you could take me upstairs and make an honest girl out of me, make this marriage finally legal? Come on. Let's go do what we didn't do last night.

[Phone beeps]

Jack: Okey-doke. So now what do we do with all this fantastic leftover cake?

Bianca: I'm full. I'll take it to the shelter when we're done.

Reggie: Yeah, that's good. That's a good idea.

[Phone rings]

Ryan: Hello?

Erica: Ryan?

Ryan: Erica? Is that you?

Erica: Ryan, I need your help.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Tad: There's something going on. It has something to do with Miranda being front and center.

Kendall: I need to speak to Erica before she comes back to Pine Valley. Please let me hitch a ride with you.