All My Children Transcript Monday 3/8/04

By Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele

Aidan: Maria.

Maria: Hey.

Aidan: How you doing? What's wrong?

Maria: Oh --

Aidan: It's not Edmund? Don't tell me he's gotten worse?

Maria: No, no, his condition's the same. But, you know, all that could change in a heartbeat.

Aidan: Is there anything I can do?

Maria: Thank you, but, no, there's nothing really that anybody can do, except him. He's my only hope.

David: All right, Edmund. You've got something to say to me?

Edmund: I should've said it a while ago.

David: Go right ahead. I'm ready for whatever you've got.

Edmund: Good. Because what I want to say is thank you.

Greenlee: Me and you?

Ryan: You and me.

Greenlee: On your bike, on a road trip?

Ryan: Wherever a tank full of gas is going to take us.

Greenlee: You're joking.

Ryan: No. No, I don't joke about who gets to ride on the bike. The big galoot's kind of sensitive that way. Hey. Hey, what's -- what's all this?

Greenlee: Now I know it's for real, Ryan. You've forgiven me.

Kendall: Erica, are you ok? Are you hurt?

Erica: Bianca? You're naming your child after my mother?

Bianca: Miranda Mona Montgomery. Grandma was one of the greatest women I've known, and I want to pass some of her love she gave to me --

Erica: Do you want to know what I really want, Bianca?

Bianca: Yes, I would like to know, Mom, if you'll tell me. What do you really want?

Erica: What I want is a powder room so I can get to this stain before it has a chance to set in.

Bianca: Mom, it's ok.

Erica: No, it's not ok. You know how much I love this suit.

Winifred: Ms. Kane, if --

Erica: Oh, really, Winifred, I know. Thank you so much, but I can handle it.

Bianca: I have to go after her.

Kendall: No, you need to come over here, take a deep breath, ok? Let's not push her, all right?

Opal: Well, let's help yourselves, ladies. Step right up. Why don't we all pretend that we're eating for two. How's that?

Marian: Oh, bite your tongue.

Opal: Well --

Simone: Amen to that, sister.

Opal: Here.

Bianca: I was so stupid. What was I thinking?

Kendall: That maybe she would be happy that you paid tribute to the Kane legacy, or that she'd at least understand?

Bianca: It's like I forgot to worry for a second. Mom came. She even smiled. Everyone was having such a good time. It's like I got too excited. But to spring that name on her all of a sudden? Mom worshiped her mother. I had no right to just --

Opal: Honey, honey -- you loved Mona, and Mona loved you. That is all the right that you need, ok? I think your grandmother would just be tickled pink.

Bianca: But did you see Mom's face? Did you see the way she looked at me? It's like everything I say or do is a slap in the face.

Kendall: No, no -- Bianca, no, no, no. She's the same way with -- I mean, it's not just you. She's that way with me and Jack.

Opal: And you got a little extra company here, too.

Kendall: Listen to me. You are her life, Bianca. You're her life, ok? Nothing you can ever do will stop her loving you.

Bianca: What if you're wrong? You know, Mom came today, but it's like she isn't even here.

Opal: You know, honey, that is just her way. That is the way that Erica makes it through the really tough times, and it isn't easy on any of us.

Kendall: She's here. She's here, she made the effort. She came here. That's a good sign. Now, listen, I don't want you to waste another second on this beautiful party with unhappy thoughts, ok? Look, look around. All of these people are here to celebrate your child, the birth of your child. Yes. They're ready to welcome her with open arms -- precious little Miranda Mona Montgomery.

Opal: Yeah.

Kendall: Can't you feel it? She's already blessed.

Bianca: Even if my mother --

Kendall: Wait, wait, hold on! Mimo -- I've got it -- Mimo. We will call her "Mimo" for short.

[Opal laughs]

Kendall: Yeah. Wait, wait, you won't give me "Kendallette." You got to give me something.

Bianca: Ok, you are off the nickname committee, ok?

Kendall: What's that? Yes. Mimo said, "Show me the gifts."

Maggie: And here is a gift from her favorite Great Aunt Myrtle --

Bianca: Oh --

Maggie: Who plans to spoil her to death, just like all of us, starting right now.

Bobby: Since we weren't together on Valentine's Day.

Anita: Bobby --

Bobby: What, you're not going to open them? I -- I hear chocolates get annoyed if you leave them in the box for too long. What, you don't believe me?

Anita: You could've called.

Bobby: If I wanted to suffer.

Anita: What's that supposed to mean?

Bobby: Well, sure, I get to hear your voice -- and it's a gorgeous voice, by the way -- but on the phone I can't see your eyes. I can't touch your hair. I can't tell what kind of mood you're in because I don't know whether you put on your take-on-the-world blouse or the sweater that says you'd rather curl up with a book. According to the shirt, you missed me, too?

Anita: That's not the only reason why you came all the way to Pine Valley -- to read my blouse?

Bobby: I also bring good news. The new job -- it's better than I had hoped. I -- I really think I found the one. Like all those years ago when I found you? Yeah. Even though we were too young, I knew that you were it for the rest of my life, and that's what this job feels like for me. And I just came here to share that with you and to say thank you.

Anita: For what? You got that job on your own.

Bobby: Whatever happiness I get in my life, it all leads back to you, Anita. You just going to let these poor things suffocate? I've seen it happen before. It's pretty messy.

Anita: There's no candy in here.

Bobby: Oh, well, they must've made a break for it.

Anita: Bobby --

Bobby: I -- I saw you looking at it before Christmas, and, you know, you knew I couldn't afford it and you didn't tell me. But that was then and this is now. New job, new us. From now on, I want you to tell me everything that you want. I will do whatever I can to give it to you. I need you. I love you, Anita. You know I do.

Aidan: Look, if David can finally be of some use to you, then I think that's a good thing.

Maria: You know what, I've got to be crazy. Absolutely crazy.

Aidan: No, I don't think so. Look, David can be utterly convincing at times, especially when he's talking about medicine. If there's anyone that can pull this off --

Maria: No, no, no, that's not what I mean. I mean, I'm talking about me. I'm putting you right now in a position where you have to be nice about a guy that you would so gladly go in there and throttle, and I'm sorry.

Aidan: Well, I would, but don't worry about that. I can see that David is useful here.

Maria: You know why?

Aidan: Why?

Maria: Because you are a supernice guy, that's why.

Aidan: Oh, don't start that.

Maria: No, really. And I apologize,, because I shouldn't be dragging you into my drama right now.

Aidan: Maria, don't think you can't come to me because of what happened in the past. Hey, you found the love of your life again. You beat unbeatable odds. That makes you like a walking miracle. All I want for you is to be happy because you deserve that -- you and Edmund together.

Edmund: You restarted my heart when I flat-lined on the table. Why shouldn't I thank you?

David: You did your part and I did mine. I'm just happy that Maria convinced me to scrub in.

Edmund: You didn't jump at the chance to have my life in your hands?

David: Well, I was fairly certain that you'd rather I didn't. Not after everything --

Edmund: Not after keeping my wife from me for five years? Yeah, you were on target on that one.

David: Yet here you are, alive and well, all things considered. I guess it's a good thing that Maria knows how to get what she wants, huh?

Edmund: Yeah, well, she's a resourceful woman.

David: Yeah. Edmund, I'm not here just for a follow-up. I know that you're considering spinal surgery for the paralysis. Now, I think there are other things that you should be considering.

Edmund: Wait -- wait a second. This procedure has nothing to do with my heart, does it?

David: Not directly, no.

Edmund: Ok. Maria sent you?

David: Even though the surgery pertains to your spine, Maria was acting responsibly by contacting me.

Edmund: I see. She didn't go to you for a consult. She told you to shut me down.

David: She asked me to explain to you your situation.

Edmund: And it's dire, right? So dire that if I crash again on the table, even the brilliant hands of Dr. Hayward won't be able to bring me back?

David: That's absolutely right.

Maria: You know, you -- you kept your head that night at the cabin. You took charge at the lodge. You did -- you know, if it wasn't for you and everybody else there at the lodge, Edmund would not have made it out of there alive.

Aidan: Maria, Edmund made it out of there alive because of one person, and that's you.

Maria: No. No, that's not true.

Aidan: Hey, you were with him every second. You were his doctor, his wife. How could the man lose?

Maria: Yeah, but there was no way I could've done all that without you guys all keeping me safe.

Aidan: Oh, Maria --

Maria: Uh-uh -- I'm telling you. Thank you, Aidan. Thank you for helping me save my husband's life. God, please, let David come through for me now, too.

Edmund: I'm sorry, David. If you're just here to back up Maria, just save your speech, ok, because I've already heard it.

David: If you already have, you wouldn't be so dismissive. Look, let's do an experiment, shall we? You shut up and listen, and when I'm finished, you can tell me to get lost.

Edmund: Well, I'm not going anywhere. Go for it.

David: Good. Look, you've already experienced several cardiac arrests, which have caused scar tissue that's responsible for an arrhythmia. Now, if you were to undergo yet another stressful surgery, the arrhythmia could lead to ventricular fibrillation. That's when the heart's electrical activity becomes disordered. The heart's lower chambers contract in a rapid, unsynchronized manner, pumping little or no blood. That could lead to irreversible arrest and death.

Edmund: That's all you got? No pie charts? No diagrams?

David: Several heart attacks and death, Edmund. Those are the facts. Do with them what you will.

Edmund: What would you do with them if you were here instead of me?

David: You want my medical opinion? I just gave it. You want my personal opinion? Sorry. That's not what I do.

Edmund: Oh, yeah, real personal when you kept my wife hidden from me for years.

David: You're right. I did that to save my own backside. Maria did not deserve that and neither did you.

Edmund: Didn't stop you then.

David: Because I learned from my mistake, Edmund. Therefore, there won't be a repeat performance. I will have nothing to do with separating you and Maria ever again.

Ryan: Well, our rock-hard, razor-sharp Greenlee has sprung a little leak.

Greenlee: A temporary side effect. I'm recovering from a very traumatic event, you know.

Ryan: Hey, I have to admit I like it. I mean, don't get me wrong. It's still just you with your edges smoothed over a little bit. But it's a hell of a shock.

Greenlee: You know, you're preaching to the choir, pal. But quit changing the subject. You asked me to go away with you, which I'm assuming means you're taking me up on my offer.

Ryan: Did I say that?

Greenlee: Whatever business venture you want to pry open, I am there as your very silent, very wealthy partner.

Ryan: Ok, Greenlee, you can keep your money and your wallet because my offer, if you choose to accept it, comes with certain requirements.

Greenlee: Shocker.

Ryan: There will be no death grip when you hold on to me. You will lean into every turn. You will not put your feet down until I come to a full stop. And for God's sakes, you will never shriek, "Stop, Ryan, you just passed an outlet mall."

Greenlee: Sir, yes, sir. Is that a hint about our destination? Are we going to pass an outlet mall?

Ryan: It was hypothetical, Greenlee.

Greenlee: Well, make it concrete. Where are we going and how long is it going to take us to get there? What are we going to do when we get there?

Ryan: You really want to know?

Greenlee: Mm-hmm.

Ryan: Then you're uninvited.

Bianca: It's so beautiful. Oh, my gosh -- wait, there's a note.

Liza: Stunning. Is it an antique?

Bianca: I think so. Let's see. "Dearest Bianca -- This music box was a gift to me from my mother when I was a baby. I'd drift to sleep watching the horses and listening to the music. Mama ran the carny's merry-go-round, so she knew they have a special kind of magic, and that's what I want to pass on to you and your precious love."

All: Aw.

Bianca: Oh, my gosh, that is so sweet.

Opal: Yeah, well, you say that now, but you just wait till your "precious love" is off gallivanting with the carny strongman, then you'll be hunting Myrt down.

[Laughter]

Marian: Ooh, the carny strongman -- that sounds like a wonderful idea. Why don't you check that out, Mia?

Simone: Yeah, Mia.

Mia: Wait a minute, how did I become the desperate one in need of a date?

Marian: Well, I'm just trying to be helpful. Feel free to listen, as well, Simone. I have more than enough wisdom to go around.

Simone: Yeah, I've got it covered. Thanks, Marian.

[Laughter]

Babe: Let me see!

Bianca: Oh, you know what? When your little one comes over for play dates, I promise that Miranda will share.

Babe: And I promise not to let my little one bounce them off her head.

Bianca: Thanks. Do you think everything's ok? How come Mom isn't down yet?

Kendall: Just give her time.

Krystal: Hey, speaking of carnivals, did I ever tell you about the time that I -- it was the summer I went undefeated in the tractor pull.

[All talking at once]

Krystal: I might need another glass of champagne.

[Knock on door]

Babe: Ms. Kane?

Babe: Can I help you?

Erica: No. No, not me. Bianca. Help Bianca. Somebody's got to stop her.

Babe: There's nothing for you to worry about.

Erica: Babe, you don't understand. And really, why should you? I mean, you're going to have your baby, and you're going to look at your baby and you're just going to fall in love. I mean, you're going to look in your baby's eyes and you're going to see its father's, and all that love you have for J.R. and all that love he has for you.

Babe: But Bianca loves her baby. She told me that.

Erica: No, she's in love with the idea, but she has no real concept of -- of the reality! I mean, once she holds that baby in her arms, all she's going to see is his eyes on her baby's face. He's going to be there looking up at her -- the man who raped her. And then she's just going to remember all the time. She's going to feel his hands on her, and she's going to feel the -- the pain and -- and the bruises, and it won't go away! And all the joy that you have, she won't have any of that. And all the love that's there for you, that won't exist for her!

Babe: Ms. Kane, please -- let me call someone for you.

Erica: Babe, if Bianca has that child, her life is going to be a tragedy. Please, you're her friend. Save her. Please, somebody has to save her.

Bianca: Ok. All right, it's from Lena. Oh -- oh, it's so cute!

Lena: Look inside. See how soft it is? Can't you just imagine her cuddling in it?

Bianca: So soft it makes me want to just kiss her pink cheeks. Thank you so much! All right, who's next?

Kendall: All right. Yes, here we go.

Bianca: Who's this from?

Kendall: This is from the Magster.

Bianca: Oh --

Maggie: Oh, you know what? Don't open that up. You know what, we'll just open it up when we get home.

Bianca: No, no, don't be silly.

Maggie: No, because I really saw something else that I wanted to get, and I'd rather just take it back and --

Bianca: I love it. I -- look -- I love it. And she is going to need all the cuddling and softness that she can get. Thank you, Maggie.

Maggie: You're welcome.

Opal: Hey, you can never have too many of those.

Kendall: All right, here we go.

Bianca: What?

Kendall: Mine's next!

Bianca: Oh, God.

Kendall: Yes, mine is next. There's a little explanation involved here.

Bianca: I would imagine so.

Kendall: Don't be afraid. Be not afraid.

Bianca: Oh!

All: Aw.

Bianca: He's adorable! Oh, so cute -- and a doggy bowl.

Liza: And the leash and the dog bowl are to inspire Miranda's imagination and abstract thinking.

[Laughter]

Kendall: There's a certificate, as well. Read it.

Bianca: Oh -- "Good for one trip with Auntie Kendall to the pound to pick out the cutest puppy we can find." Kendall --

Kendall: Please, please, please, please, Bianca? Every kid needs a pet, right? Right? Yes! Yes! And dogs are the epitome of unconditional love.

Liza: They're also a lot of work.

Simone: Yeah.

Kendall: Yes, but unconditional love is worth the effort. So that is why I will be there to help feed her and brush her -- or him.

Marian: And what about the inevitable?

Kendall: Yes -- chief pooper-scooper at your service.

Simone: I would get that in writing.

[Laughter]

Bianca: I think so.

Kendall: Please, Bianca?

Bianca: You're going to teach her how to do that, too, aren't you?

Kendall: What?

Bianca: Make puppy-dog eyes at me so that I can't possibly say no?

Kendall: Yes.

[Laughter]

Kendall: So, is that a yes?

Bianca: Yes!

Kendall: Yay! Yes, I promise, I promise. I will love you and Miranda and Mr. Patches.

Bianca: And we will love you for it for the rest of our lives.

Kendall: I will always love you and Mr. Patches, and I will always be there for you and your baby.

Bianca: And I'll always love you for it no matter what. Give me a hug.

Kendall: The whole family.

Ryan: Well, rule number one is understood -- don't ask the wrong question.

Greenlee: I just wanted to know where we're going.

Ryan: We're not going anywhere because you are uninvited.

Greenlee: I thought you had to point the bike somewhere.

Ryan: Yeah, I can point the bike without aiming it. This is about adventure, Greenlee. This is about reckless abandonment. All right, I have seen way too much this last week, so much that not much surprises me anymore. And I intend to fix that. So if you want to put your butt on my bike, you are going to have to want surprise, too.

Greenlee: It's not enough that I lean with the turns? I have to embrace adventure? Throw caution to the wind? No destination, no guarantees?

Ryan: Think about it, Greenlee. Could be great things for both of us.

Greenlee: You make it sound so laid back and uncomplicated --

Ryan: Ok --

Greenlee: But it's not.

Ryan: Well, let me make it simple for you. For this to work, you have to trust me. Can you do that?

Greenlee: I trust you with my life. You know that. Ok.

Ryan: Ok, what? Ok, you're going to stick around here --

Greenlee: Your bike, your rules. I'm with you.

Ryan: You mean that?

Greenlee: Wherever the road takes us. If you think this adventure could pay off for us bigtime, then that's awesome. But it's the journey, not the destination. Once we head out, it's already paid off.

Ryan: Well, I stand corrected.

Greenlee: I've bent to your will, caved to your demands. Now it's time for a little quid pro quo.

Ryan: Oh, Greenlee, what a shame. You were, like, this close to the trip of a lifetime.

Greenlee: Just hear me out.

Ryan: I just know I'm going to regret this.

Greenlee: First -- while I will not make you stop at any outlet malls, I will need to find some especially snooty stores. I intend to be the Audrey Hepburn of the motorcycle set, so I'll have to dress accordingly.

Ryan: Is that it?

Greenlee: I must -- I repeat, must -- fulfill my cravings for a good veggie pizza. You think shopping withdrawal's ugly? You don't even want to know about the pizza.

Ryan: Ok, you got it. Pizza and stores -- damn, you're tough.

Greenlee: Then we have a deal. Let's go. Wherever the road takes us, however we get there, however long it takes. So come on.

Ryan: There's just one more thing.

Greenlee: Oh, come on, what else is there? You got to be kidding me.

Ryan: Well, this is a serious -- this is a potential deal breaker here. Every serious rider is obligated to wear this.

Greenlee: No, no, Ryan. I draw the lines at tattoos and piercings. Audrey Hepburn, remember?

Ryan: Well, Audrey, say hello to the first of many bad hair days. Helmet head, baby. You think you can handle it?

[Knock on door]

Krystal: Is everybody ok? Thought maybe somebody fell in.

Erica: Oh, no, we're fine. Babe was just helping me try to, you know, get this stain out. As you can see, neither one of us did very well.

Krystal: You know, they say seltzer water does the trick. I could go --

Erica: Oh, no, thanks. That won't be necessary at all.

Krystal: All right.

Erica: Thanks for your help, Babe.

Krystal: All right, no way was all that fuss about a spot. I mean, I came in here and Erica looked like she was turned inside out. What is going on?

Babe: You won't believe what Ms. Kane just said to me.

Krystal: She didn't give you a hard time, did she?

Babe: Not me. Bianca. She doesn't want Bianca to have her baby. And she says if Bianca keeps the baby, she's going to see the rapist for the rest of her life. Mama, it was so awful seeing her scared like that. I would just die if you didn't want me to have this baby.

Krystal: Oh, honey, hush. You don't have anything to worry about. Everybody's so excited to see this baby come into the world.

Babe: Maybe I just -- maybe I should've just minded my own business and not thrown this shower.

Krystal: You did a very sweet thing, honey, because you have a big heart.

Babe: Yeah. Bianca's mom doesn't see it that way.

Krystal: Well, honey, I mean, not too long ago she was sitting there in court, praying that her daughter wasn't going to be going to jail. And then she had to hear her other daughter tell the whole world that she shot a very bad man. Those Kane women have had more on their hands than most families could ever handle.

Babe: Maybe it wasn't the right time for a party.

Krystal: Honey, it was the perfect time. Listen, Bianca needed this afternoon to just giggle and glow just like every other mama-to-be, ok? She's down there right now opening up presents and chowing down, and that's because of you. Honey, you should just go on back down there and have fun.

Babe: I am happy for her. It's just that -- what if Ms. Kane is right and I'm wrong? What if Bianca does need someone to save her? And what if this baby's going to bring her nothing but heartache?

Kendall: So, Binks, we have so many expert mothers here.

Bianca: Oh.

Kendall: I think you should take advantage. So any questions for our experts?

Bianca: Ok. Ok, the whole sleepless nights thing -- is that really as bad as everybody lets on?

Opal: Worse.

Liza: You get used to it. Almost brushing your teeth with diaper cream because you're so exhausted -- that you don't get used to.

Kendall: No, no, no.

Bianca: Ok, and what about labor?

Marian: Labor?

Bianca: Yeah.

Marian: Do something for me, Bianca -- tug on your lower lip very hard.

Bianca: Ow.

[Marian laughs]

Bianca: Oh, God. But not unbearable.

Marian: That's good. Now pull your lower lip over your head.

All: Oh!

Kendall: Oh, man! That's cruel.

[All talking at once]

Erica: Oh, no -- did I miss the rest of the presents being opened? Oh! Were they all just sweet and adorable?

Kendall: They were very beautiful and very thoughtful.

Opal: Here, sit yourself down.

Erica: Oh, why, thank you. Oh, Bianca, wait a second. You haven't opened my present, honey. Here, you go ahead and open it.

Bianca: Thanks.

Erica: Go ahead.

Simone: Oh, I love the wrapping paper.

Erica: Oh, beautiful.

Liza: It's beautiful.

Opal: Beautiful.

[Bianca gasps]

Bianca: Oh, Mom.

All: Aw.

Bianca: Oh, my goodness -- and a little spoon. I love it. I love it, and she's going to love it, too.

Erica: I'm so glad you like it.

Bianca: Oh, I do. And I'm so glad that you could be here with me --

Erica: Babe? Babe, thank you so much. Everything's been so lovely. And thank you for including me, but I really do have to run now.

Bianca: Wait, you're --

Babe: It's no problem, Ms. Kane. It was good having you.

Erica: Thank you. Bye-bye.

Kendall: Mother, please -- please don't go. Please?

Erica: Oh, I have to, I have to. My schedule -- and I have to change my suit, you know, so -- ok.

Kendall: Well, at least -- at least just let me drive you home, ok? We don't even have to talk.

Erica: No, no, don't be silly. I mean, please, stay with your sister. Enjoy yourself.

Kendall: No, mother, please --

Erica: Bye.

Opal: Bianca, honey, would you mind terribly if --

Bianca: Oh, no. Go, please.

Opal: Yeah, I just -- I remembered that Petey has an engagement, and so I better make tracks. Thanks so much, Babe.

Babe: Bye.

Opal: Bye-bye.

Maggie: Bye, Opal.

Kendall: Hey, who wants cake?

All: Oh!

Maggie: I thought you'd finally never ask.

Babe: And we had to go for the carrot cake because we know it's very important that we all get our veggies.

Marian: And cream cheese frosting, as well. Another important food group.

[Laughter]

Mia: Ok -- ta-da!

Bianca: Oh -- I thought they only made these at wedding showers.

Mia: Well, what were we supposed to do with all these ribbons?

Simone: Yeah, and we expect you to wear it in the delivery room.

Mia: That's right. We're going to ask the doctor for a picture, so don't try to ditch it.

Bianca: All right, any camera that gets anywhere near my delivery room is not coming out in one piece, ok? Just a warning for everybody.

Kendall: I like it.

Bianca: I like it, too.

Babe: Ahem -- the first piece has no calories.

Bianca: Oh, thank you.

Babe: Did you know that?

Bianca: Babe, everything has been wonderful and incredible. I really -- I can't thank you enough. And thanks, too, for checking in on my mom upstairs. You did check in on her, right?

Babe: Well, yeah, we bumped into each other.

Bianca: Did she seem ok to you?

Babe: Well, she's Erica Kane. To me she's always amazing.

Bianca: Well, yeah. But, I mean, did she say anything to you about me? I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything. I just -- it would really be helpful for me to know if she said anything about the baby.

Babe: Well, we pretty much just talked about that stain. And I am no domestic goddess, so I really wasn't much help, and your mom -- she just seems like she likes things just so. So she seemed just a little bit upset about ruining that top.

Bianca: Yeah. But you know that it must've been about something more. I mean, nobody gets that upset over a stain. I mean, if she said anything to you --

Kendall: Did you hear what I said? I said to just forget about things, just leave it alone, enjoy yourself today, ok?

Bianca: Ok.

Kendall: Forget about everything else.

Bianca: You're right. I'm sorry. Forget I said anything. I'm so totally impressed with you. You threw a party today for some of the most experienced hostesses in town, and everybody thought it was a hit.

Babe: Well, it's a good thing, too, because in about 25 years or so, everyone's going to be back for our little kids' weddings.

Kendall: Yes.

Liza: You know, I want to apologize for my mother if she frightened you, you know, with the whole lip thing.

Bianca: Oh, no. I thought it was actually kind of funny, in a really horrifying kind of way.

Liza: Well, it's going to be fine. Are you going to take Lamaze classes?

Bianca: I thought it was kind of mandatory, isn't it?

Liza: The breathing exercises come in handy, especially when your mother is in the room. But you do really need a good coach.

Bianca: Well, we haven't even started yet, and I've already learned that much. So, Kendall? You still willing to feed me ice chips and let me squeeze your hand until you squeal?

Kendall: You -- you really want me to -- I thought you would want somebody else.

Bianca: No, I want the woman who pulls through for me every single time. I want it to be you.

Kendall: I want it to be me, too. I'll be there before, during, and after delivery. You won't be able to get rid of me.

Bianca: Really?

Kendall: Yes.

Bianca: You going to help me out with everything?

Kendall: You name it.

Bianca: Well, you know, that includes baby barf and 2:00 a.m. feedings and the croup and colic.

Liza: Chickenpox, toilet training, and every cold that seems to run through the school.

Bianca: Oh, yes, not to mention when she wants to get her ears pierced and wear makeup and go on dates and borrow the car. Oh, oh, and let's not forget -- Mr. Patches is going to need to go to the vet.

Kendall: Ok, you know, on second thought, you're on your own, kid. It's not happening. Uh-uh. It's not happening.

Bobby: Anita, please come with me. I need to be with you.

Anita: And I need to be here -- here. I mean, Edmund has been in this place since New Year's Day. Can you imagine how hard that must be for Maria and the kids? I can't just leave them.

Bobby: That's not the only reason you're not coming with me.

Anita: No. Bobby, I can't do this right now.

Bobby: Well -- well, if not now, then when? I mean, being apart from you doesn't feel right. Being this close -- this close that I can touch you -- that feels right. I just want to straighten this out with you.

Anita: I will call you later.

Bobby: Anita, please.

Anita: Bobby, you said you would give me some time to figure out what I want. So please, just go.

Bobby: I'm not leaving you. I'm not leaving you. Not until we --

Aidan: I suggest you do what the lady says, mate.

Maria: Hello. I come bearing food from the outside world. Actually, from the cafeteria, but, you know, variety is the spice of life.

Edmund: Did you eat something?

Maria: Aidan dragged me down there, lectured me on my eating habits, made me eat a bowl of soup.

Edmund: I had a guest lecturer, too. David Hayward.

Maria: Oh, really?

Edmund: "Oh, really?" That's good, that's good. If I didn't know that he admitted it, I would've bought that.

Maria: I'm sorry. Are you mad?

Edmund: Come here. I'll tell you face to face.

Maria: And? So?

Edmund: David knows his stuff.

Maria: Mm-hmm.

Edmund: He's got jargon pouring out of him. You want to know if I was convinced to change my mind about the surgery?

Maria: Are you? Edmund, please, tell me.

Edmund: David talks a good game, but he didn't influence my decision.

Maria: Ok.

Edmund: You, on the other hand, influence me in a very, very big way. I'm going to postpone the surgery.

Maria: Oh.

Edmund: For a little while. I'm just going to wait, see how it goes.

Maria: Edmund, I don't even know what to say.

Edmund: Let's get out of here. I want to go home.

Aidan: The lady asked you to leave.

Bobby: Who is this guy?

Aidan: I'm the guy that thinks that you should go, and I'm quite willing to show you the door.

Bobby: Are you kidding? What the hell is this?

Aidan: This is me escorting you out. Let me demonstrate.

Anita: No, Aidan, stop! He's my husband.

Greenlee: A little roomy, but it's ok. Oh. Not bad. Miss Hepburn would be proud.

Ryan: Yeah, try it for eight hours. Miss Hepburn would weep into her Tiffany bag.

Greenlee: Hey, this is about adventure, not hair. The coif and I can totally handle it.

Ryan: Wow.

Greenlee: What?

Ryan: Well, I don't know. This metamorphosis has gone deeper than I thought. I mean, tears are one thing, but you being cool with helmet head? Talk about shock and awe.

Greenlee: Oh, ho-ho-ho -- yuk it up. You don't want to hear me talking about your head. This thing is, like, so big, it's as big as a condo. I could rent out the space.

Ryan: Well, you only get to wear that one until we pass the first cycle shop. And then I'll get you the teeny, tiny one of your own.

Greenlee: Then we're all set, right? We can go?

Ryan: We can go.

Greenlee: Hold it!

Ryan: Oh, Greenlee, it's like a dingy old box with decades of dirt in it. You really want that?

Greenlee: It holds a secret, Ryan.

Ryan: What secret?

Greenlee: Wrong question. Let's burn rubber.

Ryan: Oh.

Bianca: Thank you guys both for coming.

Simone: Oh, you are so welcome. Good night.

Mia: Good night.

[Babe sighs]

Babe: So you think little Miranda had a good time?

Bianca: I think she's all tuckered out.

Kendall: Yeah, Mama looks worn out, too.

Bianca: Mm-hmm.

Kendall: You look very tired, Binks.

Bianca: A little bit.

Babe: You guys know what's even better than a great party?

Kendall: What?

Babe: A great nap.

Krystal: You got that right.

Kendall: Oh, yes.

Bianca: That sounds like heaven right now.

Kendall: Yes. I'm going to take you home, ok?

Bianca: Ok. Thank you again for everything. Thank you, Babe, for being such a wonderful friend.

Babe: Well, what are in-laws for? I'll send the driver over with the gifts whenever you're ready.

Kendall: Oh, that's perfect. Thank you, guys.

Bianca: Thank you.

Babe: You go home and catch some Zs, honey.

Bianca: Yeah, you, too.

Kendall: Don't worry. Erica will be fine.

David: All right, what do you have for me?

Nurse: A patient asked specifically for you, Dr. Hayward, in cubicle number one.

David: Ok. Thanks.

Nurse: Mm-hmm.

David: Erica.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Adam: Congratulations, Babe. I understand this is a special occasion.

Reggie: Well, Jack, that's not Erica.

Krystal: You can color me lucky.

David: I can't help you if you don't tell me where it hurts.

Erica: Of course you can help me. It's your fault I'm in this condition.

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